02x06 - Cyber Mailman/Odie for Sale

[bunniefuu]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[Twilight Zone theme]

[narrator] Do not attempt to adjust the picture.

You are about to enter another dimension.

A dimension of sight and sound and lasagna.

A dimension known as...

The Garfield Zone.

Uh-oh!

This looks like it's going to be one of those real weird episodes.

[joyful music]

[narrator] This unremarkable house in this unremarkable neighborhood

belongs to Jon Arbuckle, who is, oddly enough,

unremarkable.

And this somewhat overweight creature

is Jon Arbuckle's cat, Garfield,

about to wreak havoc and terror.

Translation: I'm waiting for the mailman.

[engine approaching]

[triumphant laughter]

[sigh of relief]

-[slashing sound] -No!

You should check your oil more often, you're down a quart.

I quit!

I'm going home!

Then you won't be needing this lunch you packed, right?

Mmmm!

Liverwurst.

Wow!

[narrator] The next morning, fate comes early.

[doorbell]

[Garfield] Arbuckle! Door!

[insisting doorbell]

Jon Arbuckle?

I am Pr. Bonkers,

head of scientific-type research at Postal headquarters.

You and your cat are to come with us.

What if we don't want to?

[Garfield snoring]

We brought you here to correct a situation

that is intolerable and in sorry need of correction.

We cannot have citizens' pets

terrorizing our mailmen.

Oh, that. [sniffing]

Hey, I smell something edible.

Mr. Arbuckle,

you have been selected to participate in an experiment

that will revolutionize mail delivery as we know it.

Here is the mail that was to be delivered to you this morning.

I am going to de-molecularize it.

[laser sound]

Hey! My mail!

There was a letter there from my mother!

[laser sound]

Your mail, Mr. Arbuckle.

Observe!

The proper way for a pet to pester a postman!

[aggressive meowing]

Oh, that hurt.

Uh... Missed.

What is that?

From now on,

your mail will be delivered by a holographic mailman.

"A holographic mailman?"

A three-dimensional image capable of delivering digitized mail.

We had to find a way of protecting our mailmen

from creatures such as your cat.

[laughing] Have a nice day, Mr. Arbuckle!

I've got to have another run at this!

Oh, this is terrible.

What am I going to do?

I know what I'll do.

I'll have another taco.

-Hey! -Too late.

[narrator] And so, the cat licked the plate clean.

But what he didn't realize was that a tiny drop of taco sauce

dripped off one whisker and fell into the computer master control.

A drop that would short circuit and reprogram things

so the cybermailman would no longer deliver today's mail.

He would begin to deliver...

tomorrow's mail!

[joyful music]

Too bad, cats!

Sorry, dogs!

You won't have this mailman to kick around anymore!

Especially this cat!

[laughing]

[transmission sounds]

[video game music]

Morning, Mr. Arbuckle.

Oh!

Your mail.

Uh... Thanks.

Oh, wait.

I have your morning newspaper for you, too.

Have a nice day.

[Odie muttering sadly]

He's out there, Odie.

And he's mocking me.

Mmm. This is odd.

This newspaper I just got has the winning lottery numbers in it.

But I thought the drawing wasn't until tonight.

And this is even odder.

This isn't today's date on the newspaper.

It's tomorrow's date!

[narrator] That afternoon, he bought a ticket.

The numbers in the newspaper were one, seven,

twenty three, thirty, forty, forty one.

Bonus number twenty one.

[TV] It's time for this week's winning lottery numbers.

They are as follows :

one, seven, twenty three, thirty, forty and forty one.

The bonus number, twenty one.

Ha! I have all the numbers!

I'm rich! I'm filthy rich!

What say we join him, Odie?

[muttering]

[celebrating]

[Jon kisses the newspaper]

And I owe it all to somehow getting tomorrow's newspaper today!

Gee. I wonder if tomorrow,

I'll get the newspaper for the day after.

[narrator] And as it turned out, that's exactly what happened.

[mailman] Here you go, Mr. Arbuckle.

Yes!

[narrator] And so, every day, he bought another lottery ticket.

Three, thirteen, twenty two, thirty one,

forty one, forty two. Bonus number eleven.

[narrator] And every evening, he won.

[anchor] That would be three, thirteen, twenty two, thirty one,

forty one, forty two. Bonus number, eleven.

[yawning]

Another million dollars.

Maybe I'll take tomorrow off and I won't enter the lottery.

[crashing]

That's cute!

On second thought, I'd better enter.

I may need that money.

[narrator] Soon, everyone knew of his incredible luck.

Mr. Arbuckle,

you've now won the lottery forty-two times in a row.

How the heck do you do it?

Oh, I guess I'm just a good guesser.

I suppose you're going to turn over your fortune

to some famous investment expert like Bernie Scamberry

who'll triple it.

Well, mostly I've been feeding my cat.

I haven't decided what to do.

Hey, what was that name again?

Triple my money. Hmm...

[narrator] An hour later, Jon Arbuckle was in the office

of the famed investment counselor, Bernard Scamberry.

Here it is, Mr. Scamberry.

A certified check for everything I've won.

Good, and I'll take care of your money!

Oh, this is a mistake.

[Odie muttering]

Yeah.

I would have used it to buy every Italian restaurant in town.

Oh, and with the change,

I would have picked up a little hot dog cart.

[laughing]

You won't regret this, Mr. Arbuckle.

I turn millionaires into billionaires.

And billionaires into trillionaires.

Great, Bernie.

I just know I can trust you.

[thunder]

Looks like rain.

You think it's going to rain? I can check.

I can look at tomorrow's newspaper and see if it rained today.

Uh-huh.

It says today was cloudy but no precipitation.

See? It says it right here, under the photo of Bernie.

Bernie?

"Authorities say investment counselor Bernard Scamberry

has fled to Brazil with millions of dollars in clients' money."

[dramatic music]

[screaming]

He's gone!

So is your money!

[Odie barking]

[narrator] And now from the window, they could almost hear him say...

When I get to Brazil,

I'll send you a postcard!

With your money!

[laughing]

[Jon] Oh...

[Garfield sighs] It's looks like Bernie made off with the money!

Well, it's not so bad.

As long as I'm getting newspapers from the future,

I can still win the lottery and make it all back.

I haven't bought a ticket for tonight's drawing.

Let's see what the winning numbers are.

[Garfield surprised]

Hey! Read that!

What's so important, Garfield?

Mmm? "Mysterious expl*si*n destroys post office experimental lab."

That's that place they took us to.

Too bad about that, but...

Oh!

[narrator] Arbuckle and his cat raced for the lab.

Their intentions were good, but they hadn't realized something.

You cannot change the future.

Something is amiss with the central core of the cybermailman digitizer.

There seems to be a short circuit.

How could that have happened?

It is impossible!

Unless, of course, someone dripped taco sauce inside of it.

[tires squealing]

[horn]

[horn]

[suspenseful music]

Hurry, guys! Hurry!

This is the post office!

Nobody hurries around here!

I smell smoke.

Is there any chance of that thing blowing up?

None whatsoever.

I would stake my reputation on it.

[Odie barking]

This lab is about to explode!

I will not, however, stake my life on it.

[engine whistling]

[screaming]

[expl*si*n]

Well, there goes the cybermailman project.

It will be years before we could restore it.

Which means no more future newspaper deliveries to me.

But that's not the worst part of it.

[narrator] No, the worst part of it was that Herman Post,

courier letter carrier,

had to go back to delivering mail the old fashioned way.

[splashing]

[laughing] I did it!

I delivered the mail without running into that cat!

Wow!

That's what you get for bringing nothing but bills all the time.

No!

[Garfield laughing]

[sobbing] Oh, no, no!

[narrator] Submitted for your approval,

a mailman who thought science could catapult him

into a future without cats.

He should have known there's no escaping destiny in...

the Garfield Zone.

I told you this was going to be one of those weird episodes.

[upbeat music]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[joyful music]

[Jon] Mr. Allwork, , I'm only a few days behind in my payments.

I'm waiting for a check from my employer.

My employer is waiting for a check from you, Arbuckle.

Don't make me sue you.

[Odie muttering]

Jon's late on a bill for something or other.

That guy came by to demand payment.

You'd really sue me?

Over such a small amount of money?

I'm a lawyer, Arbuckle.

It's my job to sue people.

Listen to my schedule for this afternoon.

"One o'clock, sue someone.

Two o'clock, sue someone.

Three o'clock, go visit my cousin Sue.

Three thirty, sue Sue.

Four o'clock,

stop at the market, buy a gallon of milk.

Four thirty, sue the market, the dairy and the cow the milk came from."

Any questions?

Nope.

Tell me, Arbuckle.

How is it that you're always low on cash?

Here you are, Mr. Arbuckle.

Twelve pepperoni pizzas for your pussycat.

[Jon sighing] Any questions?

[TV] This is a baby kangaroo.

Not as cute as me.

And this is a baby panda.

Definitely not as cute as me!

[Odie muttering]

What are you complaining about?

I gave you a crust.

-[Nermal] Not as cute as me. -[Odie muttering]

All right. Then, half a crust.

Guys, I need to make some fast money.

I'm going to have a garage sale.

I need things to sell.

Garfield, find things that we want to get rid of,

things that are utterly and totally useless.

I love watching nature films on TV!

After we drop my son at home, take me to the courthouse.

Very well, Mr. Allwork.

Who are you suing today?

I don't know, but I'll find someone.

Dad, could we maybe do something?

I mean, you and me?

I have work to do.

Besides, I just picked you up

at your baseball game. -Yeah.

And you sued the umpire.

Oh, there's that Arbuckle fellow I may be suing.

He seems to be having some sort of yard sale.

Daws, stop for a moment or I'll sue you.

Let me sell Nermal.

Let me sell Nermal, please!

Maybe I can get three dollars for this old lamp.

Why won't you let me sell Nermal?

While I go look for more junk, put price tags on everything.

And remember, price things based on what they're really worth.

There you go, Odie.

What you're really worth.

[laughing]

Two cents.

A lot of worthless junk.

I may have to sue him over this.

Hey, Dad!

Look at the neat puppy!

He's real cute.

And he's only two cents.

You want him, son?

Maybe I can negotiate the price down to a penny.

-[Garfield laughing] -Please!

Oh, all right!

Arbuckle! I'm buying this dog.

[Odie muttering]

Sorry, Mr. Allwork.

Odie's not for sale.

Yes, he is.

He has a price tag

and I have agreed to pay the price specified on that tag.

That's a legally binding contract.

Honor it or I'll sue you.

I owe two cents.

Do you have change for a hundred? [laughing]

Oh, and I'll need a receipt.

Oh!

[Odie moaning]

[Jon] I know he had a price tag on him but it was just a joke.

A joke?

Sorry, Arbuckle.

I know you're attached to this dog,

but my son wants it.

And I always give my son anything he wants.

[Jack] Yeah.

As long as it doesn't take any of your time.

[Odie whining and barking]

Garfield, have you thought of anything you can do

to make this situation better?

I marked Nermal down to a penny.

Too bad about Odie. I always liked him.

He was little damp around the tongue but he was a good dog.

Hey, Squeak, you're going to finish that piece of cheese?

I was planning. Why?

Because Jon's not going to feed me

until I figure out how to get Odie back.

Squeak, do you think you and the mouse network

could figure out where they took him?

Leave it to me, Garf.

I'd do anything for you.

Anything?

Make that almost anything.

[mice squeaking]

[mice squeaking]

[mice squeaking]

[mice squeaking]

" Barrister Lane."

That's in the fancy part of town.

Aw! Figures. I got it from an upper-class rodent.

So how do you figure to get the guy to give Odie back?

I shall employ a brilliant plan.

I hope I have one by the time I get there.

[Odie whimpering]

Hi, boy.

How about if I throw the stick and you fetch it?

[Odie whimpering]

Want to go for a run?

[Odie whimpering]

Nice place Odie gets to live in.

If you're wondering,

I still don't have that brilliant plan.

[doorbell]

Oh, it's you.

Did you come to try to get the dog back?

Well, Mr. Allwork gave explicit instructions.

The dog now belongs to his son Jack, and that's final.

[doorbell]

No. You're not a little girl come to play with Master Jack.

You are that pussycat again.

Good day.

[doorbell]

Hey, Mr. Butler, sir.

It's me, Vito,

here to deliver a pizza to the little boy

and the puppala with the wet tongue.

No. You're not a pizza delivery man.

You are still that pussycat.

Good day!

[doorbell]

No.

You're not the abominable snowman.

Hey, it was worth a try.

You're that pussycat again.

You force me to use our state-of-the-art security system,

which fortunately includes an abominable snowman catapult.

Jon needs to get one of those.

You never know when an abominable snowman

is here to come around.

I don't know how to get Odie back.

I don't even know where I got those costumes.

He left that upstairs window open.

Okay, it's not a brilliant plan, but it's close.

-[Odie whimpering] -You don't want to do anything with me.

[Odie muttering]

I didn't need a dog for that.

I could get that from my dad.

[Odie muttering]

You miss where you used to live, don't you?

[Odie barking]

Well, that's where you should be. I'll take you home.

[Odie barking]

Well, it appears that pussycat

had the good sense to give up. [glass breaking]

Now, to find Odie.

Oh, no, he did not!

He's climbing into the master bedroom.

Now, to run from the butler.

[suspenseful music]

[donkey braying]

[duck quacking]

[penguin squawking]

[Garfield laughing]

No, I'm going to sue you and that's that.

Fine, see you for dinner Sunday night, Mom.

[suspenseful music]

[screaming]

What does this mean?

I don't know, but I'll bet I get sued.

I'm dreadfully sorry, Mr. Allwork.

This pussycat breached security,

and now I see that young Jack is missing.

Also, the dog you bought him.

Missing?

Well, it's obvious where they are.

Get the car out, Daws.

And you, cat, you're coming with me.

Nothing's going right.

Even with the garage sale, I still don't have money to pay that bill.

Garfield's gone.

And I may have lost Odie forever.

-[barking] -Maybe not forever.

[joyous barking]

Odie, you're back!

[laughing] I'm never going to let you get away from me again.

You'll have to. They don't let you have dogs in prison.

Mr. Allwork.

I bought that dog fair and square!

Dad!

Not now, Jack.

You stole him. I'm calling the police

and having you charged with grand theft puppy.

-But Dad! -Quiet, Jack!

Don't make me sue my own son.

I'll do it if I have to...

[muttering]

Hey, let the kid get a word in edgewise.

Dad, I gave the dog back to him.

Why? I thought you wanted that dog.

What is it you really want?

Why won't he answer me?

What is it he really wants?

Whatever it is, I can afford it.

A dog is great,

but he's no substitute for a parent.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

Mr. Allwork, you asked me to remind you

those people you needed to sue.

They can wait, Daws.

I need to spend more time with my son.

What's it going to be, son?

Ball game? Movie?

Anything!

[joyful music]

Arbuckle? That bill you owe, don't worry.

We'll work out something.

And thanks.

Thank you.

I still have to figure out a way to make some money.

I know, I know.

You're going to suggest selling Nermal.

-[Odie whimpering in surprise] -No?

I'm sorry, Garfield.

Well, what is your idea?

We'll give him away and charge people to take him back!

We'll make millions!

Millions, I tell you!

Millions!

[upbeat music]