03x20 - Online Arbuckle/Revenge of the Cat People

[bunniefuu]

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee!
-[remote clicks]

[whimsical music playing]

[cheerful music playing]

[bell ringing]

[yawning]

[gasps, grunts]

[laughs]

[screams, grunts]

[groaning]

[whining]

[Garfield] Ah, breakfast.
The most important meal of the day.

Unless you count lunch, afternoon snacks,

evening snacks, midnight snacks,

: in the morning snacks,

: in the morning snacks…

Garfield, if you damage my new smartphone,
I'll be very angry.

Smartphones are great.

You can listen to music, take pictures,
make movies, surf the Internet.

And who knows? Maybe one day
they'll do important things.

Like make lasagna.

[barking]

Odie chasing his tail.

This could be a sensation on the Internet.

[shouting]

[screaming]

-[thud]
-[laughing]

-[screaming]
-[thud]

[cuckoo sound]

And cut!

Let's check it out.

[screaming]

[giggling]

I'm gonna post the video
I just shot online

for the entire world to enjoy.
And they will. They will.

[chuckling] This is gonna be good.

[Odie whining]

[barking]

Wow. My video of Jon has had
almost a million hits in minutes.

[Jon] Have you guys seen my phone?

Nope.

[whining]

Ahem. [imitating Odie]

Ah. It's got to be around here someplace.

Phew. You almost blew it, Odie.

How do I get rid of this pooch
for a while?

Hey, Odie! Wanna play fetch?

-[squeaking]
-[barking]

See this?

Fetch!

[barking]

This should keep him busy
until halfway through the next episode.

Now I need a new Jon video
for the Internet.

Please, Jon. Do something stupid.

[Jon humming]

Come on, Jon. Please do something stupid.

[humming]

[grunts]

[chuckles]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Better start making dinner.

[screaming]

[cuckoo sound]

Gotcha!

[humming]

Whoa!

Whoa!

This is great!

[Jon screaming]

[both screaming]

[crashing]

I gotta get away from here!
I'm gonna take a drive.

[groaning]

[grunts]

[clanking]

[screaming]

This has not been a very good day.

[clanking]

And cut!

Oh, I have to get this
on the Internet right away.

[whining]

[sighing]

-[vibrating]
-Yikes!

Hello? Oh, hi, Liz.

Jon? Have you been having a bad day?

As a matter of fact, yes.
How did you know?

Well, turn on the TV and watch the news.

Oh, and are we still having dinner
in a little while at Vito's?

-Of course.
-Good.

If you just tuned in, here are some videos

of silly accidents that were posted
on the Internet earlier today.

[laughing]
They're called
The Arbuckle Chronicles,

and they've had more than million hits
in the last twelve hours.

[both laughing]

You did this, Garfield!
And you did it with my smartphone.

Don't deny it!
And give me back my smartphone.

[muffled] I don't have it!

Oh, you wanna play games, huh?

I am dialing the number of my smartphone.

[phone ringing]

Wow. Now how did that get in there?

You think this is funny, don't you?

Hmm. Uh-huh.

I will deal with you later.

Right now,
I have to go meet Liz for dinner.

[Jon grunting]

Oh, Jon was so upset.
I've never seen him so angry.

[whining]

Wish I had a video of it to post.

Come on. Let's follow him.

Hey, isn't that the silly man
we saw on the Internet?

It sure is.

[laughing]

Hope your car doesn't fall apart again!

-[laughing]
-[Jon grunts]

-[grunting]
-Jon Arbuckle!

[chuckling] I wanna thank you.

Thank me? For what?

For what? [laughing] For what?

Because of your videos, I am no longer
the biggest laughingstock on television.

[laughing]

Boy, I thought I looked stupid,
and then I saw those videos.

[laughing]

I know what stupid is.

[laughing]

[all laughing]

[laughing continues]

[all laughing]

[Liz] Don't fall off your chair, Jon.

Here's your menu.

Better decide what kind of food
you're gonna spill on yourself.

[laughing]

[laughing] Oh, signor Arbuckle, welcome.

And my brother in Rome says to say hello.

Your brother in Rome knows me?

He's the one who sent me
the link to your hilarious videos.

He said everyone in Italy
is laughing at you. I mean, at them.

No, they're laughing at me.

Let me go get you some minestrone.

Excuse me. Are you the clumsy, dumb guy
in
The Arbuckle Chronicles
videos?

Yes.

Oh, you look so stupid in them.

Would you do the skateboard routine
again for us?

-Yes! Do it!
-Oh yeah!

Okay. That's it. I've had enough of this.

I'm leaving.

[grunting]

[all laughing]

[dramatic music playing]

[grunts] You people
should be ashamed of yourself.

Laughing at someone else's misfortune.

Now, I like a joke
as much as the next guy,

but there's nothing funny about accidents,

about people falling down
and possibly hurting themselves.

There's nothing funny!

Whoa!

[crashing]

[all laughing]

Hmm. Oh my.

You think this has gone too far, Odie?

[whining]

Oh, I have to put this right.

I mean, despite being rather dumb,
Jon is a very nice owner

and a good provider.
He doesn't deserve this.

[barks]

And I think I know how to fix this.
You wait here. I need something.

[all laughing]

Hmm?

[Nermal humming]

Oh yeah. Cats don't get
any better looking than this.

Hey, Nermal.

I'm on my way to audition
for a flea collar commercial.

After all, I am the cutest kitty cat
in the whole wide world.

Well, too bad you're not the most famous.

What do you mean, I'm not the most famous?

You're not very famous.
You're not even as famous as Jon.

Jon? Jon the guy who feeds you?
He's not famous.

You think so, huh?
Listen to the buzz on the street.

Have you heard the latest on Jon Arbuckle?

Arbuckle, that's the name! Jon Arbuckle!

How did Jon get to be so famous?

I put him in one of my videos.
Millions of people see them.

Wow!

Millions of people.

Garfield, could you put me
in one of your videos? Huh? Could you?

Well, I might find a way to use you.

Just leave everything to me.

[newsman laughing]
Jon Arbuckle's
minutes of fame are already history.

[sighing] Thank goodness.

A new Internet sensation
has taken the world by storm.

-Nermal, the dumbest…
-[both laughing]

One hundred twenty million hits
in the last hours.

Brace yourself.

-I laughed so hard, I broke a rib.
-[both laughing]

[laughing continues]

[screaming]

-Owie, owie, owie, owie!
-[thud]

[groaning, grunts]

-[thud]
-[all laughing]

[all laughing]

[laughing] Poor Nermal. On the other hand,
everyone's forgetting about me.

Hi, Nermal. Ready to sh**t another video
for the Internet?

Are you out of your tree, Garfield?
You made me look ridiculous!

You made me look like an idiot!

I will never in a million years
be in one of your videos.

Okay. Have it your way.

Come on, Odie.
I'll make you look dumb instead.

[whining]

Ugh! I can't believe Garfield. Imagine.

Thinking I'd be in another one
of his videos after what he did to me.

-Isn't that the cat in that video?
-It is. It's Nermal.

Nermal, we love you in that video.

-You do?
-We sure do.

-Oh, that's Nermal!
-Hey!

I know that cat!

-Oh, I love Nermal!
-It's Nermal!

[chattering]

[yipping]

Come on. Do something stupid, Odie.
Trip. Or fall in the mud. Anything!

[groans] It's no use.
It's just too boring.

Don't stop sh**ting, Garfield!

I'll be in your video. See?

I have a stupid hat on.
And… and I'll fall in the mud, watch!

Oh, then maybe I could fall out of a tree.
Or put on clown makeup or get my feet…

Nermal thinks
he's the most famous cat in the world.

But let's not forget
whose name is on this show.

♪ La la la la ♪

Or do a real stupid dance like this.

[cheerful music playing]

[kissing] My sweet kitty.
I love, love you so much.

That niece of yours loves that cat.

I'll say. Heather's always hugging
Fuzz Button and cuddling her.

So, Fuzz Button,
how are you adjusting to life as a pet?

Don't call me Fuzz Button!

I am Neferkitty, leader of the Cat People

and soon to be ruler of this world.

-Hmm?
-You don't remember that episode?

[whining]

For those of you who missed that cartoon,
let me bring you up to speed.

Now I want you to pay attention.
I'm only gonna do this once.

[Garfield] Liz and Heather

came back from a trip to Egypt
with a souvenir mirror

that turned out to have magical powers,

which my good pal Odie here
discovered by accident.

The mirror was a portal to Ancient Egypt,
the kingdom of Kat-ra.

Odie and I were sucked into this world

through the portal,
which is where we met Fuzz Button--

I mean, Neferkitty.

She tried to enslave us for all eternity

so she could wage a w*r on mankind,
giving cats total domination over people.

I told her cats already dominated,
but she didn't believe me.

So I tricked her into following me back
through the portal to Jon's living room,

where she would have no power.

Then I destroyed the mirror,
stranding her in this world,

where she was adopted by Heather,

who assumed
she was just another stray cat.

[panting] Okay, back to our story.

Be afraid, Garfield. Be very afraid.

Of what? You can't do anything
without that magic mirror.

It's broken, Fuzz Button.

Hey, Liz, remember that mirror
you and Heather brought from Egypt?

You mean the one
that got smashed to smithereens?

As good as new!

All it took was a little glue
and a lot of patience.

The Mirror! I am saved!

Saved from a life as…

[groans] …Fuzz Button.

Okay. Now I'm very afraid.

-I've gotta go check on the lasagna.
-I'll lend you a hand.

Back off, vermin!

[both grunting]

Not if I can help it!

Oh look. The kitties are playing!

You're outta luck, Fuzz Button.
I'm breaking it again.

[action music playing]

Hey!

[grunting] Wha…

Nice try, fatso.

[laughing] The magic mirror is mine!

You're forgetting something.
As I recall from the first episode,

the magic doesn't work
unless Odie licks the mirror.

And Odie's not stupid enough
to lick the mirror again.

Are you, Odie? Odie?

[barking, licking]

Okay. So he is that stupid.

[ominous music playing]

The High Priestess of Kat-ra!

At long last, your majesty.

Now, my loyal subjects,
bring me my magic scepter.

[whimsical music playing]

This is more like it.

Behold, Garfield, the finger of Osiris!

[Jon] Garfield? Odie? I was about to--

[zapping]

-[dramatic music playing]
-Liz? Jon?

Hello. Are you in there?

You turn him right back this second!
He hasn't made my dinner yet!

Auntie Liz? Have you seen Fuzz Button?

Don't… call… me… Fuzz Button!

[Odie whining]

Wow. Do you have a permit for that thing?
Hang on there, boy. Looks like we're next.

[whining]

The finger's magic only works on humans,

or else you and your idiot jackal
would already be turned to stone.

Keep an eye on these two.

And don't let that mirror
out of your sight.

As you wish, Great Neferkitty.

Now, I have a world to conquer.

Every single miserable little human
will be turned into a statue!

[cackling]

Are you really gonna stare
at that magic mirror all day?

Great Neferkitty commanded me.

You see, I think she meant
the other magic mirror.

Other magic mirror?

I'll show you.

Time to deliver the mail
to the Arbuckle house.

What awful thing will happen to me today?

[zapping]

It's good to be me again.

[meowing]

[zapping]

[zapping]

Something wrong, oh, Great Neferkitty?

I still have seven billion more humans
to turn into statues.

I will need a high vantage point.

See? You change channels
with this magic wand,

and the magic mirror
takes you all over the world.

That's cool! Can I try?

Of course, be my guest.

I'm coming to you from downtown,

where more people
have been mysteriously turned to stone.

The latest victim identified as the owner…

Vito! But… but how can he make pizza
if he's turned into stone?

-[train horn blast]
-Okay, now she's gone too far.

Hey, I'll give you popcorn

if you tell me how to cancel
the power of that magic wand.

You would need
the Toe of Anubis to do that--

Oops. I shouldn't have told you that.

Then again, you'll never find it.

It's hidden in our pyramid,
and only Neferkitty can use it.

Popcorn, please. Extra butter.

Only Neferkitty, huh? Hmm.

Now, I need that can of blue paint
in the garage. Come on.

Oh! But first, I have to make popcorn.

[melodic music on TV]

-Hmm?
-Not bad.

And now the final touch.

[whining]

[yipping]

[thud]

[Odie groaning]

You'll be my pet jackal.

Let's cross over into their world
and bring back that toe thingybobby.

-[slurping]
-[whimsical music playing]

[whooshing sound]

[both screaming, grunting]

Look, Odie. The Temple of Kat-ra!

[dramatic music playing]

Neferkitty? Is that really you?

[in high-pitched voice]
Of course. Why do you even ask?

Well, you seem a little fatter.

-[gasps]
-[whining]

And not quite as pretty.

And a lot older.

Okay. Quickly, bring me the Toe of Anubis.

I need it to finish conquering mankind.

All right. I guess
it is our long lost High Priestess.

Throw her and her pet jackal
in the dungeon!

-Huh?
-Yeah, but what?

Come on, pet jackal! Run!

We can't go home
without the Toe of Anubis, Odie.

She and the jackal will spend
the rest of their lives in the dungeon!

Guys, guys, guys.

There's been a mistake.

I'm not Neferkitty, okay?
I'm Garfield! Look.

[gasping]

If its Garfield…

You freed us from Neferkitty
when you lured her into your world.

Now that she is gone,

we can do all these things
we weren't allowed to do.

We can even take naps!

[yawning]

Yeah, naps are great, aren't they?

Hey, can I have the Toe of Anubis, please?

I have to get back to Earth
and stop Neferkitty for good.

Sure.

-Thanks, fellas. Odie, let's go home.
-[barks]

[slurping]

Goodbye, Garfield!

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye, Garfield.

-[whooshing sound]
-[thud]

-[both groaning]
-[thud]

[crying]

[Garfield] What's wrong?
Was Nermal on some show?

Melinda broke up with Jack
as he was walking her to the altar.

[sobbing]

There, there. Don't believe everything
you see in this mirror.

Especially politicians
and ads for stuff that regrows hair.

We have reports that a blue cat
wearing an Egyptian headdress

is responsible
for turning people into stone.

The city has dispatched animal control
specialists to deal with it.

"Animal control specialists"?

That's us, Pete.
It's a fancy word for "dogcatcher."

Perhaps they can stop people
from being turned to stone.

[zapping]

[cackling]

There she is, Pete! The blue one!

Yeah! She can't stop us
from catching her, Al!

[zapping]

Yes, I can!

To the rooftop!

From there, I can send my energy out
to the entire city and then the world!

Odie, we need to get there
before they turn everyone to stone.

But first, let's see if this thing
even works.

[zapping]

[gasps, groans]

What was that?

Good heavens! Is everyone okay?

That was a very bad kitty.

[action music playing]

Vito is gonna owe me
a lot of pizzas for this.

[zapping]

[action music continues]

[Odie barks]

You're right! There she is!

[dramatic music playing]

I will now use my wand
to send its powerful energy

across the entire land,

turning everyone instantly to stone!

At long last,
the Cat People will rule the Earth!

-[zapping]
-Who did that?

[Garfield] I did!

With my little Toe of Anubis!

The Toe of Anubis?
But… but that's impossible!

Sorry about that, Fuzz Button!

Don't call me--

Oh, never mind.

Get them, you fools!

[all] Yes, Great Neferkitty!

[whining]

Yeah, I know they're coming for us.
But I'm not worried.

[zapping]

Guys? I have a job for you.

[action music playing]

Find them! Find them and destroy them!

[Pete] Got her!

Gee. I'm really gonna miss her.

I'll get you for this!
You haven't seen the last of me!

[dramatic music playing]

I will have my revenge!

The world shall be mine!

As for Garfield, I shall personally--

[Heather] There she is! [laughing]

No! Anything but her!

[Heather kissing] Fuzz Button!

You've been a bad, bad kitty,
but I still love you.

Yes, I love, love, love my little Fuzz…

Well, that should be the last we hear
from Neferkitty,

-Queen of the Cat People. Unless…
-Hmm?

…unless they decide
to do a sequel to this episode.

[Odie, Garfield groaning]

[Fuzz Button screams]

[upbeat theme song playing]