03x15 - More Than Meets the Eye/Fast Friends

[bunniefuu]

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee!
-[remote clicks]

[whimsical music playing]

[screaming]

[whimpering]

[man on TV]
It won't do you any good
to scream, Audrey.

No one can hear you.

Get out of the house, Audrey.
Get out of the house while you still can!

She's on TV. She can't hear you.

And by the way, I'm on TV,
and I can't hear you either.

I heard that.

-But I saw a ghost, Greg.
-[Greg laughs]

You couldn't possibly have seen a ghost.

I know how horror movies work.

She'll be safe until she asks,
"How can you be sure?"

I trust you, Greg,
but how can you be sure?

Here it comes.

Because I'm the only ghost here!

-[screaming]
-[Greg cackling]

[sinister laughter]

I love to watch horror movies
with Jon and Odie.

They never touch their popcorn.

-I can't watch another second of this!
-[screaming]

[sighing]

I hate ghost stories. They terrify me.

Nothing scares me.
Except maybe anchovies on pizza.

[groaning]

[eerie music playing]

[sinister laughter]

Oh, something will scare you, cat.

Something's gonna scare you real good.

[cackling]

[cheerful music playing]

Now, Pooky, while Jon's away,

I'm gonna teach you
how to make the perfect sandwich.

The secret lies in two essential points.

Quantity, and more importantly, quantity.

A true work of art,
wouldn't you agree, Pooky?

Pooky?

Odd. I would have sworn Pooky
was sitting next to me.

[panting]

Ah!

How'd you get over here?

[eerie music playing]

[chewing]

[screaming]

Oh! My sandwich!

Odie! Bad dog! You ate my sandwich!

[whining]

Come on.
You're here and the sandwich isn't.

Therefore, you ate it. And I'll prove it!

There will be crumbs and residues of ham…

[echoing] …cheese, tomato, pastrami…

Hey, that's weird.
Not a single trace of food.

[gasps] But you could use a mint.

[whines]

So, if you didn't eat the sandwich,
who did?

[whining]

[imitating a ghost]

[eerie music playing]

A ghost?
You think we're being haunted by a ghost?

[bell ringing] As usual, empty.

Listen, pup.
Ghosts only exist in movies and TV shows.

They don't exist in the real world.

[screaming]

[eerie music playing]

-[screaming]
-[crashing]

Oh.

[squeaking]

[screaming]

[eerie music playing]

[screaming]

[dishes shattering]

Odie! Remember a moment ago,
I said, "This is no time to panic"?

[whimpering]

That wasn't. This is!

[screaming]

[dramatic music playing]

I never cared much for that chair.

-[thudding]
-And we can do without that table.

And we don't need--

No! Not the TV!

[whining]

[in slow motion] No! No!

Stop!

[grunts]

[screaming]

Phew! Boy, that was close.

What would I ever do without you?

[crashing]

You think I know how to make a mess?

[Garfield]
This guy knows how to make a mess!

-[grunts]
-[whining]

[groans] Hey, ghost! I know you're here,
you mean, home-wrecking, spineless spook!

You don't scare me!

[thud]

Okay, ghost, no need to get angry.
I get the picture.

[cackling]

I know that laugh.

Where did I hear that laugh before?

Garfield! Odie! I'm home!

I'm going to fix myself a snack
and go to my office and go to work.

He didn't notice.

[Jon screaming]

He noticed.

What did you do? I mean, how--
[spluttering] How could you?

Hey, we didn't do this. I've been framed.

[yipping]

[yipping]

[imitating a ghost]

Ta-da!

What?

Are you trying to tell me
a ghost did this?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

That's the lamest excuse I ever heard!
And I have no choice but to punish you.

[Garfield] Punish us?

[whining]

[cheerful music playing]

[Jon] Okay, guys. It's time for dinner.

I'll have the Caesar Salad to start,
dressing on the side.

Then the shrimp c*ck followed by
French onion soup with extra cheese.

Corn on the cob with extra butter
and a side of lasagna.

For dessert, apple pie
with mint-chip ice cream

and seven-layer cakes.

[Jon] Here you go.

Kitty-Witty dry cat food
made from all artificial ingredients.

This is not what I ordered.

That's all you're getting
for the next year. Bon appétit.

A year? I can't take a year of this.
I can't take a mouthful.

Who could be stupid enough to eat this?

[gasps, groans]

He's not getting away with this.
I demand food!

[screaming]

[dramatic music playing]

[gasps] Okay, Jon, you wanna play?
I'm game!

[clicking]

[alarm wailing]

Don't bother, Garfield.

This kitchen is burglar-proof
and Garfield-proof.

-[whirring]
-[gasping]

-Whoa!
-[crashing]

Oh well. At least the food is better here.

[cackling]

That laugh again.
I know I've heard it before.

It's like it came
from one of the houses across the street.

[woman] Nathan!

Lunch is ready!

[Nathan] Coming, Mother!

I know who the ghost is!

It's… it's Nathan! That bratty,
science-geeky kid across the street.

[panting]

The kid who shrunk me
to the size of a mouse.

The kid who cloned Odie into dogs

with the collective brains
of a hockey puck.

The kid who turned Nermal
into a c*ck.

Can you believe that? Someone found a way
to make Nermal more annoying.

[cackling]

-[whirring]
-[cackling]

Told ya.

Journal. My invisibility machine
is working to perfection.

Phase one, getting back
at that stupid orange cat and dumb puppy,

was a total success.

And now, phase two,
to terrorize the entire neighborhood.

And then the city.
And finally, the whole wide world.

[evil laughing]

[woman] Nathan!
Your lunch is getting cold!

Coming, Mother!

Let's see how this thing works.

-[whirring]
-Ah!

[Garfield] Okay, the green button
makes you invisible.

Let's see what happens
when I push the white button.

-[whirring]
-Okay, got it. White button reverses it.

[Nathan] Thanks for lunch, Mom!
I'm gonna eat in my lab… er, room.

Uh-oh. Green button time.

I'll eat as soon as I finish
rearranging the world's time zones.

[eerie music playing]

[Garfield] Mmm. Spaghetti!

[slurping]

[Garfield] Oh boy.

Nathan's mother raised a rotten kid,
but she sure makes a mean marinara.

Done. Now for my lunch!

Oh well. I don't have time for lunch now.

And now let's go wreak havoc
in the neighborhood.

[Garfield] Over my invisible body.

[Nathan] Ouch! What was that?

[Garfield]
That was for the "stupid orange cat!"

And this is for the "dumb puppy!"

[Nathan] Hey! Whoever you are,
you're gonna be sorry you did that.

[Garfield] Ouch!

[Nathan, Garfield grunting]

[Nathan] Time out!
I need to catch my breath.

I'm a geek, not an athlete.

[Garfield] Well, if you're feeling tired,
why don't you grab a chair?

[Nathan] Ha! You missed!

[Garfield] En garde!

[both grunting]

-[Nathan screaming]
-[Garfield grunts]

[Nathan] Timber!

[Garfield] Ouch! That hurt!

Nathan! What's going on here? Nathan?

[gasps] What happened?
Nathan? Where are you?

[Garfield] He's right here.

-[air hissing]
-Oh!

Nathan!
What on Earth have you been up to again?

I built an invisibility machine.

That's what geniuses like me do, Mom.

-We build cool stuff.
-Oh yeah?

And how does your genius
account for your destroyed room?

[whirring]

See you, Nathan.

There! It was that stupid orange cat
who wrecked my room!

I don't see any cat!

It was Garfield! Honest!

-He used my machine to--
-[mother] Enough!

-I'm sick and tired of your inventions.
-[screaming]

-So much for your invisibility machine.
-[Nathan] But, Mom…

[mother] Ah-ah. No buts!

Well, I guess
that takes care of the boy genius.

Now let's look
into the dining situation at home.

[panting]

I'm sorry, Odie,
but you don't get any pizza.

You and Garfield
are only getting dry food for a year.

That'll teach you to try and convince me
that our house was wrecked by ghosts.

What a silly fib.

[Garfield giggling]

[whirring]

Now, if you could convince me
there were ghosts, I'd believe you.

But we all know
there are no such things as…

[munching]

[spluttering] Ghosts!

Help! Ghosts! My house is haunted!

Help! Pizza-eating ghosts!

[Garfield] Hi, Odie. It's me. Oh wait.

-[air hissing]
-[whining]

I'll explain it to you
after I finish my pizza.

Boy, this was a great episode.

Mm-mmm.

The animators must have
especially loved it.

They probably took the week off.

Mmm-mmm.

[whimsical music playing]

[cheerful music playing]

[Liz] So I'll be back in a few days.

Thanks for taking care
of Mrs. Ferret for me, Jon.

Glad to do it. Thanks for reminding me.
I haven't fed her since this morning.

If she has to wait a little while,
it isn't a crisis.

It is if she eats Garfield's food.

Oh. Right.

[shouting excitedly]
Hiya, guys. What's on TV?

Hey, those freshly-baked cookies
look delicious.

Touch one, and the next thing around here
that will be freshly baked

will be ferret pie.

Here you go, Mrs. Ferret.
A tasty bowl of ferret kibble.

[whizzing sounds]

[munching]

Garfield, I just made a meatloaf for you.
It's out in the kitchen.

You mean I have to go
all the way out there to get it?

Well, I guess I could do
with a little exercise.

[Odie barks]

[munching]

Gee. Almost sounds like food.

[giggling]

Come on, Odie.
Let's go enjoy the meatloaf.

-I'll eat, you smell.
-[whining]

Meatloaf? I have no idea what that is,
but it's gotta be better than this!

[whizzing sound]

Odie, did you get the license number
of that tornado?

[whining]

-My meatloaf!
-[alarm wailing]

[giggling]
This is a lot better than ferret food.

You ate someone else's food!
Who do you think you are? Me?

Oh. We ferrets are so hyperactive.
We burn up all the food we eat.

Unlike certain cats I could name.

I'm not fat. I just have very thick fur.

[licking fingers]

I'm never eating ferret food again.
[giggling]

I can't blame her for that,

but I can blame her
for eating my meatloaf.

Fortunately, I always keep
leftover chow mein in the refrigerator

for just such an occasion.

-See?
-Mmm.

[slow motion exclaiming]

[whizzing sound]

-I'm surprised she left the plate.
-[whizzing sound]

Spoken too soon. Okay.

I didn't want to resort to this,
but she's left me no choice.

[whining]

Odie, Mrs. Ferret
has forced me to take drastic action.

[whining]

You've never seen this before?

The sign says, "In case of
pizza emergency, press button."

[whirring]

[laser echoing]

[laser echoing]

[Vito] Here we are…

Vito's linguini for you all.
Piping hot and so delicious--

[alarm wailing]

The Garfield Alert!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

[car horn honking]

[sighing] Here you are! Here you are!
Here is Vito with your pizza!

[sighing] No pepperoni!

Well, in an emergency,
you have to settle for what you can get.

The wrong pizza
is still better than no pizza.

[screaming]

Delicious. But it would have been
so much better with pepperoni.

Why, I ought to…

[Squeak] Ha!
I know just how you feel, Garf.

You know all that cheese I had stored up?
Well, I don't have it anymore.

She got your cheese?

[Squeak] She even ate the Limburger.

Blech!

You need to work on your speed.
Beat her at her own game.

The mouse is right. She's fast.

If I wanna get anything to eat
around here, I need to be faster.

And I know just the guy who can teach you.

Tomorrow morning at the park.
Crack of dawn.

The crack of dawn?

[Garfield]
I woke up at : a.m. for Nermal?

[groaning]

[Garfield] And since when are you
a fitness coach?

As the four-time winner
of the Healthiest Feline pageant,

I happen to know a thing or two
about keeping in shape.

Squeak says you need
to be able outrun someone.

Well, do as I tell you.

If you want something bad enough,
it'll happen.

I've tried that, and it doesn't work.
You're still here.

[clears throat]

If you ever wanna eat again, try this.
One, two, one, two.

[Nermal] Touch your toes, Garfield.
One, two…

-Touch them? I can't even see 'em.
-One, two, one…

Hey, Odie, touch my toes for me.

-[whining]
-[Nermal] One, two, one, two…

[Garfield] One, two, one, two, one, two.

I don't see why
this is supposed to make you healthier.

-One, two, one, two, one, two…
-[groaning]

[Nermal] One, two, one, two, one, two…

See that big boulder over there?
I want you to run up there.

Give me one reason why I should.

I put three chocolate-flavored
energy bars on top of it.

Oh, three good reasons.

First one who reaches the boulder
gets to eat 'em. On the count of three.

One, two, three!

-[screaming]
-[thud]

Hey! What just happened?

[Garfield] Mrs. Ferret just happened.

Mmm.

Oh! Those are even better than pizza.

Is that who
you're trying to get faster than?

Yep.

Forget it. It'll never happen.

I hate when Nermal's right.

[whining]

Okay. Time to try something else.

[cheerful music playing]

[barks]

[Garfield] Let's see… For better speed,

lubricate the wheels of the rollerblades
before every use.

A drop or two will do just fine.

[whining]

I'm competing with a super-fast ferret.
Better use the whole bottle.

[Jon] Garfield? Odie? Lunch is ready!

Lunch? Let's roll!

[gasping] Whoa!

-Whoa!
-[crashing]

-Whoa!
-[crashing]

[crashing]

-[whizzing sound]
-[crashing]

-[musical horn honking]
-[screaming]

Is everything okay? [screaming]

I can explain.

I baked your favorite lasagna.

But on second thought, I'll split it
between Mrs. Ferret, Odie, and myself.

[moaning] No!

You just wait.

[dramatic music playing]

Behold, Odie!

With this jet-pack,
I'll leave that ferret in the dust.

[whining]

Nice outfit. What does it do?

[chuckling] You'll see soon enough.

[Jon] Garfield? Odie? Dinner is ready!

[action music playing]

[Garfield laughs]

[laughing]

Food! I actually got food!

-[engine sputtering]
-Whoa!

-[crashing]
-[screaming]

[Garfield screaming]

[Garfield screaming]

-[alarm wailing]
-Mayday! Houston, we have a problem!

-[bell ringing]
-[both screaming]

-[Jon groaning]
-[moaning]

[screaming]

-[thud]
-[grunts]

Could have been a lot worse.

-[water splashing]
-[groaning]

[Squeak] Face it, Garfield.
She's just too fast for you.

You're right.
Oh well, eating was nice while it lasted.

[whining]

Well, at least you'll get skinny
like that gal on TV.

Hi, that's me.

Back when I was thin and skinny.

Everyone made fun of me…
Now, thanks to Phil's Fast Fat Formula,

I've gained pounds,
and no one ever makes fun of me.

[announcer]
That's Phil's Fast Fat Formula.

That's the answer. [giggling]

If I can't speed me up,
I'll slow her down!

Boy, if ever I had a customer
who didn't need this…

Knock off the snide remarks
and sell me the stuff.

-[humming]
-[phone ringing]

-[phone ringing]
-[Jon] Hello?

No, I don't want to buy a grass hut
in the Aleutian Islands, thank you.

[humming]

This should be ready in no time.

[Squeak laughing]

[Jon] Garfield! Odie! Dinner's ready!

[munching]

Oh, this is so… good.

Oh, hi, guys.

Too bad there isn't enough of this for…

-Oh, there will be.
-Any of you.

[stomach growling]

When you're done,
here are some brownies I made for dessert.

[Mrs. Ferret groaning]

Oh, you're too fat and slow
to reach them, Mrs. Ferret. Too bad.

I'll have this one
and this one and this one,

and here's one for you, Odie,
and here's one for you, Squeak…

And I'll have this one and this one
and this one…

[Liz grunting]

Thanks for taking care of Mrs. Ferret
while I was away.

We were glad to have her any time.

She seems to have put on too many pounds
while she was here to…

fit into the pet transport cage.

[laughing]

You know, Odie,
leftovers may be my favorite food…

[gulps]

…in the world.

[yipping]

Looks like you got rid of Mrs. Ferret
for a while. What ya eatin'?

Mmm. Leftovers. You may have some
if there are any leftover leftovers.

Oh.

Hey, you know that lasagna
you put the Fast Fat Formula into?

Mmm. Yes, pray tell?

Well, Mrs. Ferret never finished it,

so Jon put it in the container
in the refrigerator.

Mmm. Oh, that's good.

Jon always saves…

[stomach rumbling]

[dramatic music playing]

Garfield! What are you gonna do?

This is too fat, even for me.
What am I gonna do?

[Nermal] You're gonna exercise, Garfield.

And I'm just the personal trainer
who can help you.

You can help me, Nermal.
You can help me do my favorite exercise.

Oh, what's that, Garfield?

[screaming] You leave me alone, Garfield!

[Garfield] When I get a hold of you,
you're gonna be so sorry!

You know, if Garfield chases Nermal
every time Nermal annoys him,

Garfield's gonna lose that weight
in no time.

[yipping]

[Nermal] Oh, stop!
No, don't sit on me! Help! Help!

[upbeat theme music playing]