[upbeat guitar music]
- Get ready for a "Game Changer!"
It's a little different
this way, doesn't it?
I'm Sam Reich, and when I say
I've been here the whole time,
this time, I really mean it.
I've been writing "Game Changer,"
performing in stuff such
as "Mice and m*rder,"
and helping run the company from here,
this chair, this room,
for the last few years.
We got "Troopers" helmets over here.
We got the "Yes or No"
bobblehead over here.
You asked for it, and so here it is,
a very special cutting room
floor episode of "Game Changer."
This is the stuff we didn't
intend for you to see,
and then you made a stink
about it on social media,
and so now we feel obligated to.
Now you might be saying to yourself, "Sam,
I love every ounce of spittle that
is released from the
mouths of you chucklefucks,
why cut anything at all?"
This episode will intend
to answer that question,
starting with we cut things for time.
Episodes of "Game Changer"
are largely 25 to 35 minutes.
Why?
Because I have a soft spot
for that kind of programming.
It also helps to offset
some of our longer shows.
I'm not naming names.
I want episodes of "Game
Changer" to feel urgent,
to leave you wanting more.
So without further ado,
here's some cut prompts
from Make Some Noise,
including a longer version
of Shakespeare's inflight safety video,
a backstage moment from "Survivor"
on the villainous nature of apple eating,
and finally, the cut, albeit
brief, "Busker's Song"
from The Official Cast Recording.
Brennan, a general contractor's quote
for getting the sword
out out of the stone.
- Oh God! [laughs]
[Brennan sniffs]
- Oh yeah.
Yeah, that's in there.
[Sam and contestants laughing]
See, the issue here is this,
is that it's not just the granite, okay?
'Cause you could get the
true king of England here,
and you could pull this
out, and that would be fine.
But you're talking about
damage to the blade
coming out of the granite stone.
You're talking about any kinda rust damage
that's already been here in the interim.
This got placed here by a giant or wizard,
do we know how long ago?
- I think it's been there
as long as I can remember,
maybe forever.
- From a prior tenant?
- Okay.
- This is gonna be a...dragon's hoard.
[Sam and contestants laughing]
That's if I can get my guys,
'cause there's no guarantee.
[percussive music sting]
Josh.
- Yes?
- A trip to the zoo goes terribly wrong.
- No problem.
Here we go, ohp, he fell.
[Brennan laughs]
- Oh.
- Oh God.
Son, you okay?
[Josh growling]
Oh God, daddy, daddy, help me!
Hi, Becca?
Daddy!
[Brennan laughing]
[Josh growling]
Yeah, so, okay, so Marcus fell.
[Josh growls]
I am here at the [growls], at the zoo,
[Sam and contestants laughing]
but the problem is. [monkey noises]
Uh-oh, why would they let them in?
That many?
[Brennan and Sam laughing]
[Josh grunting]
Oh no, please don't!
[Sam laughs]
Please don't, I can't possibly!
[Josh grunts and groans]
Yeah, no, he's pecking his.
Oh, I'll be home soon!
[Josh and contestants laughing]
- If that prompt was a moving car,
you just opened the door and bailed!
- Created a whole soundscape, honestly,
at least until I gave up.
[Sam and contestants laughing]
[percussive music sting]
- Zac.
- Okay!
- The fifth "Wizard of Oz" character
who didn't make the cut.
[contestants laughing]
- Eh, I don't wanna interrupt,
but we haven't found my keys yet. [laughs]
The heart is important.
Courage is important.
Finding your way back home is great.
But I have one little weird key.
It's for a safe that my mom got me
when I was in fourth grade.
[Brennan laughs]
That I think that my
original Social Security card
is in there, okay?
[Sam and contestants laughing]
[percussive music sting]
- Josh and Zac.
[Zac mmhmms]
An alien spelling bee.
- Khallum-kowhown
- Kye penwingown in a sentence?
[Brennan laughs]
- Khal-khallum.
Hooooop!
- Mm.
Ham-hallum.
Click, port, click, [gasps]
fleemp, oh, [squaks]
eh, ah, onk, pff.
- Kha-nana-khallum.
[Josh gasps]
⪠A womp bomma nomman dom buh âª
[contestants laugh]
⪠A womp bomma nomman dom buh âª
- Just wait a second! [laughs]
Wait!
What happened at the end there?
- I think he got it wrong!
[contestants laughing]
[Sam claps hands]
[percussive music sting]
- Zac.
- Okay.
- And Brennan.
[Brennan gasps]
- Okay.
- A meet cute!
[Josh laughs]
In quicksand.
- Whoa, bluh!
- Boof!
[Brennan and Zac sputtering]
[Zac gasps]
- Stay still!
- Okay, okay, okay!
- If you move, if you move
through the quicksand,
it will begin to drag you deeper!
- Okay!
- I think I can feel maybe a root with my,
oh no, that's, is that your toe?
- That is my toe.
- Oh God.
- Ah, gosh, I dropped all my papers,
and I had a report on the
topography of the jungle.
- Gotcha, I was also
swinging through vines
on my way to give a
report on the jungle too.
That's crazy, wow.
- What camp were you at?
- I'm at the lake shore
camp, what camp are you at?
- Ah, the river basin.
- Oh my God.
[contestants laugh]
- Weird.
- Weird.
- I'm Tad.
[Sam laughs]
- No, no, no, no, no!
No, okay!
[percussive music sting]
- Brennan, Josh, Zac.
The New York Stock Exchange trading floor
if they were yelling about
things that actually matter.
- We're looking at big migration, by-
- Climate change!
- And climate change!
- Climate change!
- Climate change!
- Climate change!
- We need a mass elevation
of consciousness,
'cause there's a lot of
parts of the civilization
that have not upgraded their morality
or their sense of civic responsibility!
- People getting vaccinated,
we gotta get a lot of vaccinations!
- Misogyny, especially
in the film industry!
- We live in one shared
ecosystem, two for one!
- We only have one planet, one planet!
- One almond, one gallon of water!
- Can I get 12 years
to stop climate change?
[percussive music sting]
- Brennan Mulligan.
Shakespeare's in-flight safety video.
- Prithee and well met, thou
tempestuous witch of storms
to alight so delicately
upon the jet streams
of the cerulean sky.
Welcome to Spirit Airlines.
[Sam and contestants laughing]
Thou now beholdest the bard of Avon.
And behold!
Twixt either side of you,
the ends of your safety belt.
Be ever so good as to to
them at the joining place!
Lest we crash into the mountainside,
and verily thou skull is split
upon the dining tray before thee!
Also, thou shalt notice
two emergency exits
[Sam and contestants laughing]
to the starboard and port
side of the aerocraft!
These emergency exits are the very doorway
to thou best chance of life,
should we make an aquatic
landing during our flight!
Behold now in your
chest, the beating heart
that once gave you life upon your crowning
from thy mother's womb,
the womb again opens of this aerocraft!
In this emergency exit row, and this,
between the smoldering ruins
of this Boeing 747 aircraft,
and blessed life beyond!
Thou knowest the ways
in which Spirit Airlines
comports itself, so, there
will be no free snacks.
Only a $14 cheese platter, verily!
- How do you like them apples?
[Raph laughs]
I am gonna have an apple though.
- These apples are great.
- These actually are
really are good apples.
- Yeah, I do like apples
- I think they're Fiji.
- Fiji, it's always the way to go.
- Now, I've never been a
sour apple guy, I won't lie.
In fact, if there was a sour
apple here, I'd vote them out.
[Raph laughs]
- Is that code?
Which one of us is a sour apple?
- Guys, I'd like to vote
out this sour apple.
[everyone laughs]
- One of my favorite things is like,
the immediate sort of villain tell
is them like eating an apple,
only, their face is like.
- Oh yeah.
- Oh, like Jafar.
- Yes, Jafar, or Geoffrey Rush
in "Pirates of Caribbean."
- Oh yeah.
- Or like-
- I think it's because
biting into an apple,
I think, is probably the closest thing
to like breaking bones.
Like, I feel that sound is so like.
[Erika mmhmming]
Kah!
Like, I like,
[laughing]
like, I hurt people.
- It looks like like a little heart, like,
there's like, there's juice everywhere.
- Mm.
- And the forbidden fruit.
- That's right!
That's right!
- There's some real
analogous sh*t going on.
- Yep, it goes deep.
- And gosh, now all eating apples.
- Which one of this is the villain?
That's the question.
- Oh. [laughs]
- It's true.
[everyone laughs]
- Wait a minute!
- Our busker plays guitar,
hoping for a coin or two.
[warm piano music]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I've been on this
corner for a long time.
- Yeah.
- Take my guitar.
- Take your guitar?
- Play it well.
I quit.
⪠I'm going to business school âª
[Sam laughs]
⪠Because business is cool. âª
⪠And I'm tired of doing âª
- This.
- But-
- But you can do it.
⪠I don't know if I can do it alone âª
⪠And I don't even know
what busker means âª
[Sam laughs]
- Here's the secret.
I didn't either.
Fake it till you make it,
and when you can't make it.
⪠You go to business school âª
⪠'Cause business is cool âª
⪠Business is cool âª
⪠And this is hard âª
⪠And bad âª
⪠And this is gonna be good âª
- [Zach] Thanks.
- This is really compelling.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Wait, gimme that back.
- No!
Actually, yes.
⪠Business school âª
- Another reason we might cut is taste.
As an improviser, you want the freedom
to make whatever jokes
occur to you in the moment.
Only later, you might
realize that they are poor.
The same goes for me as host.
Sometimes I fully plan
a bit, and execute it,
and then only realize in retrospect
that it was in bad taste.
With that in mind,
please enjoy some cut Grant
jokes from Like My Coffee,
and a bit from Don't Cry
that I, well, you'll see.
Early on, the players
have discovered a mechanic
about the game, which is
that they can keep going
as long as they like.
[contestant mmhmms]
[buzzer buzzes]
Grant.
- Hey!
- I like my lovers to keep
going as long as I like.
[contestant laughs]
- No, Grant.
[percussive music sting]
[contestant laughs]
I like my lovers like like
I like my dental check-ups.
[buzzer buzzes]
Grant.
- Using a drill.
[contestant laughs]
- I don't think you're
being honest, Grant.
I'm not gonna award you that point.
[buzzer buzzes]
- I'm sorry, no, no, hang on.
[contestant laughs]
No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, a drill.
Double entendre?
- No.
I wanna use a dental
drill both on my teeth,
and on someone's p*nis and testicles.
- I'm not gonna give it to you, Grant.
- Unbelievable.
[percussive music sting]
- Are you a flip phone?
- Oh!
[buzzer buzzes]
- Grant.
- Are you a flip phone?
Because you can't get on the internet.
[contestant laughs]
- As Jeff Probst would
say, I got nothing for ya.
- No.
[buzzer buzzes]
- Jess.
- Are you a flip phone?
Because I'm not afraid to drop you.
[contestants laughing]
That's a breakup one.
[Sam and contestants laughing]
- Breakup lines are
the next episode, Jess.
- Oh, damn, okay.
- I might need the help of a
calculator for this last one.
Luke, how old are your parents?
- 70 and 72.
- Let's be optimistic.
- Oh no.
What is this?
[contestant laughing]
This is bad!
- How many times a year do you see them?
- Probably twice.
- Cool.
So Luke, you have about 26 visits left.
- Yeah.
- With your parents,
assuming they live to the age of 85.
- Whoa, oh my God!
- All I want you to do is to
look into your camera there.
I want you to count to 26.
- [Luke] Sure.
- Imagining one of those numbers is each
a visit left that you
have with your parents.
- [Luke] Yeah, okay.
- [Luke] Oh my God!
- One, two, three, four-
- You can slow down a little bit.
- Five.
Six.
- Really picture the visit.
- Seven, eight, nine,
[contestant laughs]
- You can slow down even more.
[Jess laughs]
- 22,
[Jess laughs]
- I think I might have
got you there, Luke.
Did I?
- Does a quiver count as a tear?
- I'm gonna say a quiver counts,
I'm gonna take a point
away from you, Luke.
- All right.
I quivered, sorry, I quivered.
- Another reason we might cut is chaos.
While "Game Changer" is
supposed to be an unhinged show,
it's also supposed to be structured.
As wild as things get, I
want the audience to feel
like I actually have
everything under control.
And so, we sometimes cut
moments where I clearly do not.
Please enjoy two such moments.
The first is what actually happened
at the bitter end of Filmed
Before a Live Studio Audience.
And the second is what actually happened
when Brennan played his loopty loop
against Ally in Survivor.
- Izzy is the winner of our show!
- Ah!
- Ah!
- Yay, Izzy!
- Izzy, you win a!
- Yay!
[contestants laughing]
- Izzy, you win a Rage
Room gift certificate!
- A what?
[contestants shrieking]
- A Rage Room gift certificate!
- A range?
- A Rage Room gift certificate!
- Okay!
- [Sam] That you can use at your leisure!
- Rage Room?
- That does it for us
here at "Game Changer!"
[contestant shrieking]
I am Sam Reich, and if you think
that Pavlov's dogs are something!
[contestants shouting and laughing]
Sorry, lemme just take this clean.
- Okay.
- This is an immunity loopty loop.
Any votes cast for Brennan will not count.
- Oh my God, all right.
- Wow!
- You think I'm gonna f*cking roll over?
- Wow!
- You look me in the eyes, Beardsley,
and say-
- Wow!
- Brennan, I think it's your f*cking time!
It'll be a cold day in hell
when I go out like a f*cking chump!
- Whoa!
- Oh, bro!
My goodness gracious!
- Oh!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Yay!
- Wow!
- Yeah!
- My goodness!
- Oh my God, listen to me, listen to me-
- Order!
Order on my stage!
- Good stuff.
[contestants laughing]
Have a good one, y'all.
- All right, boys-
[contestant laughing]
- The final reason we
might cut is pure vanity.
For whatever reason, there's
been a funny groundswell
of support for a me reaction version
of the Official Cast Recording.
Something that shows off
my reacting in disbelief throughout.
We tried this.
We're gonna show you a clip of it,
and I think you will quickly
realize why we do not do this.
Because I look like a loon.
Of anything we've showed,
this is the most embarrassing.
Do me a favor, if you're
chatting about this
on social media, don't tag
me, I don't need to know.
Enjoy!
[warm swelling music]
Welcome to Mountport.
- Good morning!
- Good morning!
- Good morning!
- Hello, hello, hello there!
- Hello!
- Hello, hey, yo, down there!
- Hey, hey!
Timothy!
- Yeah?
- You're not allowed
on the street anymore,
and you know why!
- Why?
- On account of the crimes!
[Sam laughing]
- Okay, I guess I'll go back indoors!
- Oh, it's another foggy day
where the ocean marine layer
gets stuck in our mountain range!
- That's right!
- And I wouldn't have it any other way!
⪠Oh, the mountains over
there next to the sea âª
⪠How can that be âª
[Sam laughs]
⪠How can that be âª
⪠And while the mountains
stretch from the sky âª
⪠Right down to the sea âª
⪠How can that be âª
⪠Like physically âª
⪠How can that be âª
⪠But when you live in Mountainport âª
⪠You don't ask many questions âª
⪠Like to say this is impossible âª
⪠Throw out that suggestion âª
⪠Yes, the literal name is Mountainport âª
⪠And that's what we're about âª
⪠But because we're very busy âª
⪠Very, very busy âª
⪠We sure didn't to Mount.. âª
⪠...Port! The mountain
is right next to the sea âª
⪠How can that be âª
⪠How can âª
⪠Don't ask me âª
[Sam laughing]
- Don't ask me!
- You can ask me!
- Get back inside!
- Okay!
- Holy sh*t!
- We get a lot of points then?
- Yeah, put the points in there.
- Yeah.
- Holy sh*t!
- Where are them up?
- Gimme those points!
- What you do is a magic trick.
That's it for us here at "Game
Changer," but only for now.
As I've said publicly,
you can soon expect three,
count them, three "Game Changer" spinoffs.
A "Never Have I Ever" spinoff
called "Dirty Laundry,"
a "Make Some Noise"
spinoff by the same title,
and an as of yet untitled spinoff
of "The Official Cast Recording."
Not to mention new
episodes of "Game Changer,"
which I am writing right now,
and we'll sh**t over the summer.
It is, as ever, an absolute
privilege to play for you.
Thanks for watching.
[warm orchestral music]
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