01x14 - Karaoke Surprise

[bunniefuu]

Yo!

Kevin!

Oh!

Uh-oh.
[chuckles]

It is nice that we have
high ceilings in this house.

We should totally put a trampoline
in the middle of our room.

That would be awesome.

We could somersault into bed
or backflip into the bathroom.

Guys, do you really think
that's a good idea?

Think. Think hard.

No.

Let's do this, come on.

Hack it over here.

Why, so you can kick it
into oblivion again?

I can't help it if my leg muscles
are like crouching tigers.

I had an off kick.
It happens to the best of us.

And by "best," you mean "worst"?

-[sighs]
-By "worst," you mean "best"?

I bet you I can hack the sack
longer than you can.

You're on... let's go... right now.

House rules... two feet... no arms.

Why are... we talking... so weird?

-Good point... let's stop... right now.
-Are you ready now?

No. I have to prepare.

I need to hone in on
my razor-sharp reflexes.

Good luck with that.

One nanosecond off.

I gotta work on that.

[snorts]

-[theme music playing]
-♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I was sitting at home ♪

♪ Watching TV all alone ♪

♪ So tired of routines ♪

♪ The day goes on and on ♪

♪ So I pick up the phone ♪

♪ Call everyone I know ♪

♪ I say there's gonna be a party ♪

♪ Hit the music, here we go, yeah ♪

♪ You gotta live to party
Bust your move ♪

♪ Everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ Tell the DJ to play our song ♪

♪ Are you ready to rock and roll? ♪

♪ Gotta live to party
Bust your move ♪

♪ Everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ Live to ♪

♪ Party! ♪

Guys, guess what.
Today's our anniversary.

Aw, hug it out.
Bring it in.

Feels good.
Ah, love it.

You guys have no idea what anniversary
I'm talking about, do you?

-Nope.
-Never claimed to.

You guys, it's the anniversary
of when we first met Stella.

Wow. Time flies.

Feels like yesterday that wittle Stella
waddled into our wives.

Sowwy.

Any reason why you happen
to know the exact date

-when we met Stella?
-Yeah, Joe.

Any reason?
Thug-thug, thug-thug...

Guys, I remember all important dates
that have to do

-with our friends and family.
-Of course, you do, yeah.

When's my birthday?

Sometime this year?

Lucky guess.

Guys, it doesn't matter how I remembered.

The important thing about remembering
is that I remembered.

[Stella] Knock-knock.

-Hey.
-Hi, Stella.

Do you remember what today is?

Oh, yeah, it's Be Kind To Chipmunks Day.

I got your email, Kevin.

Good, 'cause I got
an extra acorn for everybody.

Oh, no, no, no, wait.

Unless these t-shirts
answer your question.

It's our 15-year "friend-a-versary."

-Happy friend-a-versary.
-[both] Happy friend-a-versary!

-I know.
-Fifteen years ago today,

I spilled chocolate milk
all over my shirt,

and you were the only person
that didn't laugh at me.

Well, I mean, how could I laugh?

Someone had to blot your
corduroy jumper with seltzer.

Wow, think about it,
if you guys didn't meet,

you guys wouldn't have become friends.

And that way you wouldn't
become our stylist

which means we would probably be walking
around the streets looking like this.

♪ Living life
Life in the fast lane ♪

♪ Not that bad ♪

♪ No, we can't complain ♪

♪ Who's to say ♪

♪ That we won't keep it real? ♪

♪ Hold on tight, don't you get... ♪

[both shudder]

It is a good thing I came along.

Yeah, I mean, we need you like
the winter needs the spring.

Or an ice cream cone needs sprinkles.

Like a pirate needs a hook for a hand
and an eye-patch and a parrot.

[mutters]

Wow, you need
a lot of things to be a pirate.

They're coming, I swear.

Better late than never.
Finally, guys.

So, guys, I was thinking.

We should do something special for Stella,

you know, for our "friend-a-versary,"
like, throw her a party.

-Good idea.
-We need to figure out

what kind of party a girl would like.

-You know what we need for that?
-A girl.

-Excuse me, miss!
-No, Joe, not just any girl.

-We need Macy.
-You "Macy'd"?

How did you do that?

I wasn't following you
around trying to listen

to your conversation,
if that's what you're suggesting.

Macy, we need your help.
We want to throw a party for Stella.

-Ooh!
-What kind of party

would Stella really like?

Stella loves surprises,
and I love surprises, too.

I love ice cream and...
and party games and balloon animals.

-Macy.
-Oh, right, Stella.

Um... Stella loves karaoke.

That's right. We can throw her
a surprise karaoke party.

Can you come over later
and help us plan it?

-Are you serious?
-We're serious.

-Seriously.
-Hey, guys.

-Shh, remember, big surprise.
-Oh, no, I'm not good at this.

-Not good at what?
-[stammers]

-Crunking.
-[hip-hop music plays]

Hey! Let's, uh, crunk it up
over there, please.

Oh, OK.

[sighs]
He almost blew it.

Almost blew what?

-Uh...
-This trumpet. [chuckles]

Right! 'Cause you're not allowed
to blow it in the hallway.

-[chuckles]
-I'll just go put it in my locker.

You know what?
That looks heavy. I'll go help you.

-[rock music plays]
-♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

[sitar music playing]

-What are you doing?
-Getting in touch with my inner Kevin.

The Kevin that will prove
that your hacky sack is wacky sack.

[laughs]
Well, can your inner Kevin do this?

Your skills are great,
but can you do this.

[inhales]

-You didn't do anything.
-Not true.

I beat you again... in here.

It was awesome.
You're still crying... in here.

Hey. Did I hear you guys
are having a hacky sack competition?

You are correct, Father-son.

Kevin's adopted this whole kung fu thing
to try and psych me out.

Yeah, you can blame me for that.

I let him watch too many kung fu movies
when he had the chicken-pox.

I think it altered him.

[dubbed] If I do not beat you,
my evil twin brother will,

once he wakes up from his coma.

Definitely the kung fu movies.

You know, that or the high fever.

[gasps]

The Croonmaster 5000?
Stella's going to freak.

She thought the 4000 was awesome.

Yeah, but this one's even
a thousand times more awesome.

But you've got to be a genius
to figure out how to turn this thing on.

Let me see this.

Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

[dance music playing]

-[both] Wow.
-Genius in the house.

[Stella]
Hello! Is anybody up there?

[gasps]
Uh-oh! Stella's in the house!

Hide the evidence!

[beeping]

Macy.

What are you doing here...
on the floor... with Joe?

I was...
helping him with his math homework.

Uh... yeah.

-I didn't know you were any good in math.
-Oh, she's very mathematical.

-That's why they call her "Mathy Macy."
-No one has ever called her "Mathy Macy."

And besides, I mean,
I thought I was the one

that helped you with your math homework.

Yeah, I just thought, you know,
I'd give you a break.

I know what a handful I can be.

-Yeah.
-Oh, well in that case,

where are all the books,
calculators... the crying?

Well, we're doing mental math.

It's like jumping jacks for the brain.

Yeah.
[chuckles]

Oh.

Well, I just brought these pants
to go with the friend-a-versary shirts.

And now I'll go.

Don't want to keep you two
from adding your figures together.

-Bye.
-Later.

So, what are you up to later?

Huh? Oh, uh...
Sorry... Busy... Can't.

But I didn't even
ask you anything yet.

Um... Hey, Stella,
have you seen Mr. Newman today?

He's wearing that terrible
sweater vest again...

-[gasps]
-You know, with the cats' faces

on the front,
and the cats' butts on the back.

Yeah, he's right over there.

[gasps]
No! Where's my phone?

I have to get a picture of him
for my wall of shame.

Wait, where?

Macy? Macy?

-Hey.
-Hey.

We need to figure out
a way to keep Stella busy

-before the surprise party.
-Right.

We have to be sneaky.

-Sneaky? About what?
-[both gasp]

Uh, Sneaky is the name
of Macy's friend's cat.

-She ran away from home.
-What?

Oh! Right! [chuckles]

Yeah, I better put up these flyers...
right after I make them.

Hmm, so do you wanna maybe
do some homework later?

Later... I can't.
I'm going to be doing homework.

You can't do homework later
because you're too busy doing homework?

-Yes.
-Oh. OK.

Well, I won't be able to see you later
because I'll be too busy not seeing you.

How do you like me now?

Do you think she's onto us?

-Doesn't suspect a thing.
-Good.

So you're still coming over later, right?

Oh, of course.
To do "homework."

I know what's going on
between you and Joe.

-You do?
-Yes, I do.

All this sneaking off together.

-We just wanted to surprise you.
-Wait, what? Surprise me?

What are you talking about?

What do you mean,
what am I talking about?

-You like Joe.
-Of course, I like Joe.

-I knew it!
-I know you knew it.

-You knew I know it?
-How could I not know you know?

-Macy!
-Stella!

Wait, what are we talking about?

-You like Joe!
-Of course, I like Joe!

-I knew it!
-Oh! Whoa! Wait, wait.

Stop the bus.

There is nothing going on
between me and Joe.

-[ringtone playing] ♪ Ooh ooh-ooh ♪
-Oh.

♪ I'm feeling lovesick
But I don't mind ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh... ♪
-Aren't you going to answer your phone?

No. Because I love my new ring tone.

-Doesn't it rock?
-♪ Ooh ooh-ooh ♪

-It's Joe, isn't it?
-♪ I'm feeling lovesick... ♪

Don't be silly.

Let me see your phone.
Let me see your phone.

-Let me see your phone--
-[phone shatters]

[stomping]

[groans]

Oh! I think the battery just died.

[grunts]

[rock music playing]

OK, spill it!

You know, that was my last
glass of cranberry juice.

You could've just said,
oh, I don't know, "Drink it."

What is going on between Macy and Joe?

-And by "Joe," you mean?
-You know who I'm talking about.

Macy and Joe, they've been
spending a ton of time together.

And they're acting
all secretive and weird.

And by "weird," you mean?

I mean weird!
Like mysterious, and annoying.

Kind of like the two of you
are acting right now.

[both]
Whatever do you mean, Stella Malone?

Look, if Macy and Joe want to be together,
that's fine. I'm fine with that.

I just don't like being the only one
who doesn't know about it.

Here's your door.

Joe! Joe.

-Hey, want to hang Friday?
-Joe, look--

-What?
-I thought we'd hang, chill,

do some homework, you and me.

Um... well...

Yeah, I'm free.
Yeah, that sounds really great.

Cool. Later.

Why couldn't you have showed up
before she ripped my door off?

You owe me a cranberry juice!

-[pop music playing]
-OK, I'll get Stella,

hang with her at school for an hour,

then get back here for the big
friend-a-versary surprise party.

OK. Let's synchronize our Jonas watches.

I don't have a Jonas watch,

but according to yours,
I'll be here ten past Nick.

OK, but if you get here
a quarter to Kevin,

-you've blown it.
-OK.

OK.

-Stella.
-Hey.

What are you doing here?

We were supposed to meet at school.

Yeah, well, I thought it'd be
more fun if we hung out here

so I brought popcorn
and rented a movie.

-Aren't you going to let me in?
-Let's go get some ice cream.

I know how you love ice cream.

I never eat ice cream
unless a guy breaks up with me,

which has never happened,
so I stand by my first statement.

OK, tacos. Brokenhearted or otherwise,
everybody loves a good taco.

Vamanos.

-What's going on in here?
-Nothing.

-Where is she?
-Where is who?

-[groans] Macy!
-Macy?

Why would Macy be here?

-Let's dance.
-Huh? What?

Joe, what are you doing?
[gasps]

-I knew it.
-Hey, guys.

[yelps]

[stiffly]
Macy, what are you doing in my house?

Uh, thanks for letting me
use your pole, Joe.

Bye.

Macy!

Get back here, Macy Misa!

Look! If you want to date Joe
behind my back,

at least you could say it to my face.

-These arms are made for sewing!
-Stella, wait!

-[all] Surprise!
-Surprise?

It's our 15-year friend-a-versary.

Oh, no, no, no.
I can't believe it.

So when you two were acting all dense
and all "Joe who?"

-Just trying to keep a secret.
-Oh, you meant our Joe.

Oh, OK.

How about we crank up
the Croonmaster 5000?

[gasps]
The 5000?

That's supposed to be, like,
a thousand times more awesome

-than the 4000.
-We know... thanks to Macy.

She helped us plan this entire thing
with all your favorite stuff.

Mace, um, I think I owe you
a huge apology.

No, no, no. You don't need to
apologize for anything.

I mean, I know you and Joe are...

Well, you're not.
I mean, you are... so I would never.

I mean, because you two...

Do anything to get in the way of that.

[laughs] Joe and I,
we're just really great friends.

Yeah, great friends
who have feelings for each other,

but don't want to jeopardize
their friendship

so they just hope that someday

they will be brave enough
to let their true feelings out.

Or... whatever.

Whatever, indeed.

OK, OK, I admit...
I mean, sometimes I do wonder

what it would be like
if Joe and I were brave enough.

[PA feedback]

[grunts] All right, everybody,
to get the karaoke started,

I'm gonna sing
one of Stella's favorite songs.

Happy friend-a-versary, Stella.

-[cheering]
-[ballad playing]

♪ You ♪

♪ You're like driving on a Sunday ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You like takin' off on Monday ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You're like a dream ♪

♪ A dream come true ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ When I saw 'em for the first time ♪

♪ Knew that I ♪

♪ Was gonna love you for a long time ♪

♪ With a love ♪

♪ So real ♪

♪ So right ♪

♪ How ♪

[thunder rumbles]

♪ Did it play out like a movie, now? ♪

♪ Every time its beat can move me
And I can't ♪

♪ Get your smile ♪

♪ Off my mind ♪

♪ 'Cause you might think ♪

♪ That I'm a fool for fallin' over you ♪

♪ And tell me what can I do ♪

♪ To prove to you
That it's not so hard to do? ♪

♪ Give love a try ♪

♪ One more time ♪

♪ 'Cause you know that I'm on your side ♪

♪ Give love a try ♪

♪ One more time ♪

♪ One more time ♪

[applauding and cheering]

You know, I think it might be safer
if Joe and I are just friends.

[people chattering]

-Hey.
-Hi.

Has anyone ever told you
that you have a really nice voice?

A few people here and there.

You know, you might even have
a future as a singer someday.

[gasps]
Oh! All over my friend-a-versary shirt.

Don't worry, nothing a little
seltzer won't get right out.

Just like when we first met.

Except you don't have pigtails,
and you don't punch me that much anymore.

Do you need me to punch you
more often, Joe?

Maybe a little bit.

-[thuds]
-Thanks.

-Ow.
-Well, that's what friends are for.

I will be recording
this historic showdown.

Don't worry,
if anything embarrassing happens,

it will be going on the internet.

All right, as with all
family competitions,

we'll go in birth order.
So, Kevin, you're first.

OK. Don't like the weight.

Don't like the color.

Don't like the circumference.

Kev, would you just go already, please?

Come on!

[sighs]

Here we go. You ready?

OK.

Oh, I'm out

That's it? Three?

-What? I'm exhausted.
-[scoffs]

Oh, Dad.

You want to lie down?

"And then she says, 'I do.'"

Aww.

A hundred thirty-two to three.
Sorry, dude, I think I just won.

-Or did you?
-Yes, I did. I just won.

Or did I let you win?

-No, I won.
-Or did you?

[laughs]
This is classic.

-Or is it?
-All right,

I'm not even on this ride anymore.

-Neither am I.
-Or are you?

Looks like little one learned his lesson!

Or did he?