04x08 - The KaBlair! Witch Project

[bunniefuu]

We got the masses.

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight.

Take a deep breath.

For a cartoon cram-aganza.

[Sound of b*mb dropping]

Aah! Aah!

It's kablam,

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now, to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.





Greetings, kablamlovers,

And welcome to a very special episode of kablam.

That's right, june. Today is fan appreciation day,

When we give something back to our beloved fans.

This barrel contains entry ballots

From kablamoids all over the country.

One lucky viewer will be chosen by us

To be a special guest star on this very show.

America's waiting, henry.

Let's make a dream come true.

And the lucky fan is...

Mr. Ryan malloy.

Oh, no. Not that weird kid from school.

Man-o-manifest destiny. I can't believe I won.

How'd you get down here so fast, ryan?

I was waiting outside by the studio,

Just in case I won.

Some luck, huh, co-star henroid?

I'll say.

Hey, how about a guided tour of your dressing rooms?

I brought special ziplock bags

So I could take home your dirty socks

Without upsetting the dna.

We'd love that, ryan. Really.

But it happens to be time for action league now,

Which means we have to...

Turn the page! Oh, let me, let me!

Wait, ryan. Not too hard.

[Rip]

I'm keeping this.

Narrator: dateline: bill the lab guy's lab,

Where a brilliant brainiac applies his decades of scientific study

To a lube job.

Hurry it up, lab guy. Hot spots is on the loose again,

And we need the actionmobile asap. Got it?!

I got it, all right.

And you're gonna get yours, action jerks.

Unh. Unh.

Hodgepodge, you fiend.

What have you done to the actionmobile?

Just watch, half a lab guy.

Now the actionmobile's gonna be unsafe at any speed.

Aah!

Today's episode:

Narrator: we find our heroes at action h.q.,

All revved up and ready to go.

Ok, you bozos.

Hodgepodge is out there like a bad smell on a bouillabaisse.

Now get on it.

Great. I'll drive.what?

Good one.

Yeah, right.

Heh heh. And I'm the king of finland.

I'm serious. I finally passed my driver's test.

I guess they got tired of him coming down there

And wrecking all their cars.

What do you say, chief? Can I drive, can i?

Oh, pretty please.

All right, just this once.

Yay! I get to drive.

Now that's torque.

Go easy on that gas pedal.

Heh heh heh.

Aah!

What was that, chief?

I said go easy on that--aah! Oof.

How's my driving? Dial --jerks.

Look out.get out of the way.

Aah!

Heel, boy, heel.

Hey, stop this crazy thing.

Aren't these things supposed to have air bags?

Oof. Ow.

Narrator: moments later...

Looks like you won't be needing this anymore.

Jerk. Menace. Road hog.

But, chief, it's not my fault.

That car's got a mind of its own.

Well, that makes one of you.

From now, the only thing you're driving is a desk.

The rest of you, let's move out.

But...but...

Aw, man.

No, I was afraid of this.

Bill, what happened to your legs?

It's hodgepodge.

He's planted a remote-control device in the actionmobile.

That car's a deathtrap.

Whew, glad I'm not with 'em.

No, you fool. We have to stop them.

Uh, yeah, right. This is my big chance to be a hero

And prove I can drive.

Oh, joy. Aah! Ow.

Sorry. I'm not used to power brakes.

Narrator: meanwhile...

Keep your eyes peeled for hodgepodge.

What a beautiful day

For a little spin action, dumb heads.

All: aah!

Here comes lunch.

Yummers.

[Throws up]

Yuckers.

Chief, did you take a driving lesson from meltman?

That melted meathead

Wrecked the delicate calibration of the rack-and-pinion steering.

Fortunately, I'm a great driver, and I can adjust.

All: aah!

Nice adjustment, chief.

Blast it. What in the sam hill is going on here?

Chief, no. Stop the car.

Oh, goody goody gumdrops.

Bumper cars for rubber jerks.

All: whoa!

Don't worry, chief.

Uh, start worrying.

Aah! Aah!

Put on the brakes. Mermaid!

Not having fun.

Going my way, action losers?

All: hodgepodge.

That's my name.

[All scream]

Too bad you won't have a chance to wear it out.

Help!

Heh heh.

Narrator: what's this? Is the action league

About to become an action pancake?

Find out in the action injection-fueled conclusion

Of...

Whoo-ah! Now that's what I call kablammin'.

Kablamity! Good one, june.

I also liked it the first time you used it back in episode .

This will make a great ka-fun fact for my website.

You guys have browsed it, right?

Kablamfan.com.

My laptop's busted.

Then I guess you haven't seen

My "henry and june before they were stars" page.

Look, I posted a video clip

Of your very first media appearance.

Pitchman: dumpynaps diapers. Heavy-duty for heavy doody.

Cool, huh?

I also got henry's first tv appearance

On america's nuttiest home videos.

Host: hey, how about an afternoon down on the farm?

[Moo]

Oof.

This youngster sure got a kick out of it.

Is that ka-sterical, or what?

Well, ryan, we'd like to thank you for stopping by.

That's right.

Sorry you have to go, but we've got a show to do.

Wait a second. The ad for the contest

Says the lucky winner gets to stay for the whole show.

So we got plenty of time to hang out.

Man-o-manned spacecraft.

This is gonna be fun.

It sure is.

Narrator: what you are about to see is top secret.

It is a videotape recorded , years ago

By an alien using a remote-controlled camera.

It shows his attempts to educate a caveman.

They have the code name the prometheus & bob tapes.

Tape .

[Grunting]

[Panting]

Aah. Aah.

[Squeals]

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

[Scolding]

[Urinating]

Aah!

[Panting]

[Chuckling]

Awww.

Heh heh heh.

[Panting]

[Arf arf]

[Arf]

[Chimp squeals]

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Heh heh heh heh heh.

[Arf]

Chimp: ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

[Arf]

Ohh...

Heh heh heh heh heh.

[Howls like a wolf]

[Growling] [growling]

Hey, hey.

Heh heh heh.

Ahh. Heh heh heh heh.

[Wolf howls]

Announcer: hey, kablamoids,

Keep your heiner in the recliner.

Still to come... Little freaks,

A music video from they might be giants,

And when we return, more action league now

Right here on...

Narrator: with a vengeful villain

Enjoying his joystick,

Is this the end of the road

For our speeding superheroes?

Sorry, I don't brake for evil.

Huh? Aah!

No fair.

Whoo-doggie, I can steer again.

Why don't these things work on big cars? Darn!

Aaaahhhhh!

Narrator: later that day...

Yay!

Meltman, we owe you our lives.

If you ever wanna drive the actionmobile--

Do you mean it?

You've earned it.

Yay! I get to drive.

Now remember-- go easy on the gas.

Yippee!

Unh.

The end.

Welcome back to fan appreciation day.

Henry and I are feeling very appreciative right now.

Yes, we are, because our extremely annoying number one fan

Seems to have taken our hint and made himself scarce.

Hey, what's the deal with these cameras?

Ow.

Cut. Let's try that again.

Man-o-barry manilow.

What are you doing out there, camera one?

Everybody knows henry's right side is his good side.

Do I have to tell you turkeys everything?

Don't worry, henry and june.

You guys were perfect.

Ryan, what are you doing in the control room?

I'm directing this segment of the show.

Is that great, or what?

You directing?

It's part of the contest, remember?

"The lucky winner will get a chance to join in

"On all the behind-the-scenes action."

You know, this isn't exactly what we had in mind, ryan.

Oh, I know what you're looking for. Stand by.

Isn't that amazing?

June, remind me,

Next time we wanna have a contest...

Don't worry. We won't.

And now here's a little treat called little freaks.

Narrator: our story begins here,

In studio of the evil fashion villain--no face.

Zee best fashion is one fashion. Heh heh heh.

No?

It seems this troubled tweed merchant

Is releasing special moths into the atmosphere...

That are now eating everyone's clothes.

As the famished moths munch, overexposed citizens

Are forced to wear no face's personal line

Of moth-retardant apparel.

My plan is working. Heh heh heh heh.

And center city is thrown into a state of uniformity.

On the other side of town...

Neon is very cool.

Uh, what?

A small band of unlikely heroes known as...

The little freaks

Are studying this perplexing predicament.

Freaks, we gotta do something.

The sheer fabric of self-expression is dangling by a thread.

Tryla is right.

If everyone is forced to wear no face's jumpsuits...

Everyone will look the same.

Well, at least their clothes will.

Besides, jumpsuits are an as*ault

On a person's sense of self-identity.

Desperate for a solution,

The group turns to brain-gel for a plan.

But then, suddenly, though not surprisingly,

Brain-gel's beautiful brain goes dead.

Peanut gallery: boo.

I wanna be a dentist.

And then it comes alive again.

Yay!

And with a kind of speed you only see in cartoons,

The little freaks prepare to launch themselves

Directly into the lair of the evil haberdasher.

Wait.

First I will control what they wear.

Then what they think.

And then the world will be mine. Heh heh.

Aha!

Aha what?

Aha--[stammers]

Hey, uh, where's dubs?

Funny you should ask,

For it seems that dubs missed the mark

And landed instead in the dark, lonely, but rent-controlled apartment

Of an aging disco queen.

I want you.

To have this.

A disco ball?

Uh, thanks.

Thanks, indeed.

Because when dubs displays his luminescent gift,

Are quickly drawn to the light, the excitement,

And the chance to maybe meet someone nice.

Hi.

Hi.

What do you think this is, some kind of school dance?

I'm trying to take over the world.

Forget it, no face.

They're moths.

They're like the night life--

They like to boogie.

Oh, no-o-o-o-o!

[Heavy sigh]

Jumpsuits for sale. Cheap.

And once again, center city has been saved by

The little freaks.

And individual expression through fashion

Has returned to this quiet urban hamlet.

Thanks for watching.

And remember--sometimes it takes a little freak

To solve a big problem and make the world normal again.

Little freaks.

What if we just turn out all the lights?

Maybe he'll think the show's over and leave.

Oh. Hi, everyone. Welcome back.

We were just trying to figure out how to...

Uh, show our appreciation to our lucky contest winner.

Excuse me.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

That's our set.

Man-o-mickey mantle.

These suckers are heavy.

Ryan, what's going on here?

You know how the ad for the contest

Says the winner's entitled to a souvenir from the show?

Well, I'm just taking my souvenir--this set.

Back in a flash.

We gotta do something about that guy, june, before--

Hey, check this out.

What?

All these ballots have ryan's name on them.

While we get to the bottom of this,

Why don't you get to the bottom of a brand-new video?

It's dr. Worm by they might be giants.

[Music plays]

♪ They call me dr. Worm ♪

♪ Good morning, how are you? I'm dr. Worm ♪

♪ I'm interested in things ♪

♪ I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm ♪

♪ I am an actual worm ♪

♪ I live like a worm ♪

♪ I like to play the drums ♪

♪ I think I'm getting good, but I can handle criticism ♪

♪ I'll show you what I know, and you can tell me if you think ♪

♪ I'm getting better on the drums ♪

♪ I'll leave the front unlocked ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't hear the doorbell ♪

♪ When I get into it ♪

♪ I can't tell if you are watching me ♪

♪ Twirling the stick ♪

♪ When I give the signal ♪

♪ My friend rat will play the solo ♪

♪ My friend rat will play the solo ♪

♪ Someday somebody else besides me ♪

♪ Will call me by my stage name ♪

♪ They will call me dr. Worm ♪

♪ Good morning, how are you? I'm dr. Worm ♪

♪ I'm interested in things ♪

♪ I'm not a real doctor, but I am a real worm ♪

♪ I am an actual worm ♪

♪ I live like a worm, and I like to play the drums ♪

♪ I think I'm getting good, but I can handle criticism ♪

♪ I'll show you what I know ♪

♪ And you can tell me if you think I'm getting better on the drums ♪

♪ I'm not a real doctor, but they call me dr. Worm ♪

Welcome back.

We're here with our lucky fan appreciation day contest winner

Ryan malloy.

Man-o-manfred mann.

I still can't believe I'm here with henry and june.

Neither can we.

Ryan, remember how earlier

You showed some rare footage of us?

Well, we decided to show some rare footage of you.

Could we roll that tape?

That's a great idea.

What footage?

Oh, just security camera footage

Of you stuffing a contest ballot box with your own ballots.

Man-o-manchurian candidate.

That certainly is some rare footage.

You guys aren't mad at me, are you?

Ka-wow. Mr. Foot is throwing me in the trunk of a car,

Just like he did to hector in episode

And clyde dillworth in--

And so we say a fond farewell to our lucky contest winner.

We'll see ya next time on a cartoon-crammed

And contest-free episode of kablam.

Announcer: join us again next time,

Same kablam time, same kablam network.