04x04 - The Best of Both Worlds

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a cartoon kramaganza.

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.



Greetings, fellow kablamonauts.

I'm june, and this is--

Henry?

Down here, june!

[Spanish guitar plays]

Look at this place.

Where'd all this junk come from?

I heard there was a travel show in the studio before us.

This must be some of their stuff.

[Crash]

Hey, what's this thing?

[Dramatic orchestral music plays]

Amazing.

I'll say. Those drawings are really lousy.

Those aren't drawings, henry.

They're actual slide photographs of the real world.

I've heard stories about it,

But I never dreamed it could actually exist.

I want to see it for myself, henroid.

I want...to get real!

Why bother?

The real world doesn't look that great.

Bikes! Cool!

I want to go, too, june.

How to we get to this real world place, huh?

Huh, june? How?

The entrance could be anywhere.

It could be this very door.

Uh, speaking of getting hit on the head with heavy objects,

Here's a brand new episode of action league now!

Announcer: dateline: desktop observatory,

Where a plastic poindexter introduces the league

To the joys of star-gazing.

There's andromeda, and the crab nebula...

Hey, what are you guys looking at?

The stars, flesh.

Goody! I want to see sandra bullocks.

All: ahhhhhhhh!

Ouchies!

Arghh. I don't know why I even bother.

What's this?

Oh, no. I was afraid of this.

What is it, bill?

Sandra bullocks' boyfriend?

No, it's a meteor,

And it's headed straight towards earth.

Today's episode...

As a menacing meteor heads towards earth,

Our heroes devise a daring strategy.

I wish I could help, but wouldn't you know it--

Beep, beep--my ride's here.

Me, too. Me five.

Well, tough toenails!

You nimrods are all we've got.

Bill, give 'em the skinny.

You'll be sent on a rocket to intercept the meteor

And knock it off course with these really big bombs.

Bombs? Cool!i'm in.

Yeah! Ditto.

Blast it! The world is counting on you people.

Now get on it!

Announcer: and so, with extinction imminent,

The league begins their crash course in astronaut training.

This g force simulator will prepare you for

The gravitational effects of take-off.

Meltman: yeah-h-h-h-h-h-h!stinky: I'm getting dizzy!

Flesh: pukesies!thunder girl: make it stop!

Mommy-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y!

At least the arugula's crisp.

This pressure simulator will prepare you for

The extreme conditions of deep space.

It looks like a sledgehammer.

All: ow-w-w-w-w-w-w!

It's a simulation of a sledgehammer.

This launch simulator will--

Stinky: let's just get it over with.

All: whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa![Crash]

Are we saving the world yet?

Narrator: not yet, flesh, but soon.

For moments later, at cape crabgrass...

Bill: .........

Blast-off. We have ignition.

The future of mankind is in their hands.

We're all gonna die, aren't we, bill?

Yes.

All: ♪ the engines on the rocket go vroom, vroom, vroom ♪

♪ Vroom, vroom, vroom-- vroom, vroom, vroom ♪

♪ The engines on the rocket go vroom, vroom, vroom-- ♪

Look, it's the meteor.

This is mission control.

Prepare to arm and deploy bombs.

Bombs?

Oopsy!

I knew we forgot something.

You idiots! I asked if you had everything!

We thought you meant our toothbrushes.

Oh, well. Guess we'll head back home now.

In a pig's eye!

You ninnies are gonna crash that spaceship

Into the meteor and that's an order!

Oops! [Making static sounds]

Transmission problems.

[Zap]can't hear you, chief.

I love the people of earth as much as the next bloke,

But get real-- we're out of here!

Yay!yay! Yay!

Uh-oh!

[Alarm blares]

Boo!boo! Boo!

Announcer: is this the end of the action league?

Wait a minute. Who cares about those bozos?

I don't want to die! [Clears throat]

Stay tuned for the action- annihilated conclusion of...

Welcome back to the henry and june get real expedition.

Where I figured out a brilliant plan

To get us to the real world.

Observe.

Ooof!

Tsk, tsk, tsk. June, june, june.

Surely there's a more civilized way to travel.

Come on.

Welcome to get out of town travel.

Where would you like to go today?

To the real world!

You know, that place beyond the proverbial fourth wall.

Yeah, the place with cool bikes and bad drawings.

We can pay!

Two tickets to the real world, coming up.

Hey, where are the seatbelts on this thing?

Do you think we'll get those honey roasted peanuts?

Ooof!ooof!

Oh, nothing much.

Sold a couple of chumps tickets to the real world.

I know it's a myth, but they had money.

Oh, hang on a second.

, Years ago, an alien videotaped his attempts

His attempts to educate a caveman.

The prometheus and bob tapes.

[Electrical squealing]

Hey--what?

[Grunting]

[Grunts quizzically]

[All grunting]

Hey.

Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!

Wait--wait--wait!

[Zap] [screech]

Hey-y-y-y-y-y!

Hey!

[Zap]

[Buzzing]

Hey! Hey!

[Scolding]

Get him.

[Screeches]

[Zap]

[Gasps]

[Muffled grunting]

[Chuckling]

All right...

Hey!

Come on, give it back.

Give it here. Come on.[Clang]

Huh?

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey?

[All grunting]

[Screeching]

Ahhhhhh!ahhhhhh!

Let's get out of here. Come on.

[Crash]

Hey, kablamoids, keep your heiner in the recliner.

Still to come...

Life with loopy,

The shizzagee,

And when we return,

More action league now!

Right here on...

Announcer: a planet doomed...

A rocket kaboomed...

As a deadly showdown approaches,

Our ill-fated four reflect on the meaning of their lives.

I never got to direct.

I may have only been a chunk of melted plastic,

But I tried.

You blokes aren't such tossers after all.

Gollers! I'm naked!

[All screaming]

Ahhhh....

Are we in heaven?

No! We're on the meteor!

We knocked it off course and saved the earth!

They're gonna give us the biggest parade when we get back.

Back? To where?

All: uh-oh.

Don't worry, chief. According to my calculations,

The meteor will return to the earth's orbit

In another , years.

Do I look worried?

Announcer: the end.

That episode of action league now!

Certainly was... Whatever.

Now, let's get back to what's really important--

Both: henry and june get real!

Despite our recent setbacks,

We're more determined than ever to find the real world.

We just need a little elbow grease.

[Shouting] to get to the real world,

Henry's using the same kind of tunnel-boring machine, or t.b.m.,

They used to dig the chunnel.

June, look! It's the light of the real world!

This is it, hankski. Hold me.

[Buzzing]

Listen.

[Buzzing continues]

Wow...real world bees!

I'll bet the honey tastes even sweeter in the real world.

[Buzzing]

♪♪♪

Hi, larry here.

Since the dawn of time,

Man has dreamed of conquering the skies.

The history books are filled with great heroes--

The wright brothers,

Charles lindbergh,

Amelia earhart,

And now you can add one more name to that list...

My sister loopy.

Let me tell you what happened last week.

[Crash]

Jumping jitterbugs, what was that?

Oh, hey, loopy. How's it goin', eh?

Mike! What are you doing in mom's chrysanthemum patch?

I'm learning how to fly.

All my pals are migrating back to canada this weekend,

And I'm gonna be left behind again

Unless I get my wings in gear.

But mike, you're a canadian flightless duck.

Oh, but loopy, a duck who can't fly

Is like hockey without ice,

Like pancakes with no maple syrup,

Like a moose without--

Ok, ok, don't get your feathers in a fluster.

We'll get you up there somehow.

You know what they say--

Where there's a wing, there's a way.

[Engine sputters]

[Engine stops]

[Pbbbbbt]

What a bummer, eh?

I'm never gonna get my frequent flier miles at this rate.

Keep your beak up, mike.

We'll get a fresh start first thing in the morning.

Ok?

Ok. Guess I'll see you in the a.m., Eh?

[Rooster crows]

Morning, loopy....[Drilling and buzzing]

Hey, you know, I've been thinking. Maybe we should just--

Whoa!

Check it out, mike. Your very own flying machine.

Uh, loopy. Are you sure this thing's safe?

Safe as san andreas. Come on. Help me wheel it down to the airfield.

Loopy, wait. I don't know if I can go through with this. I--

Don't worry, mike. All you gotta do

Is flap your wings and pedal like crazy. It'll be a breeze.

No, I'm sorry. I just can't do this.

Let's face it, loopy.

I'll never be renowned for getting off the ground.

Ok, if that's the way you want it, fine.

I guess there's no point in me hanging around here anymore.

See you later, mike.

Loopy! Wait! Look out!

Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!

Loopy, you're headed for the power lines!

Whaaaaa! Help me!

Don't worry, I'm coming. I-i'll save ya!

I've got you, loopy. Hang on tight, eh?

Mike, look! You're flying!

Huh? What?

Aw, nice goin', eh?

See, mike, I knew you could do it.

You just needed a little inspiration.

Hey, look. Here come my buddies.

Guess it's time for me to go, loopy.

Gotta fly, eh?

Yes, my friends, the power to fly may be an awesome thing,

But it doesn't mean diddly...

Compared to the power of friendship.

See you next year, loopy!

Send us a postcard, mike.

Hi, we're back, and as you can see,

Still as cartoony as ever.

I guess we'll never make it to the real world, june.

But, hey, you can't say we didn't give it our best shot.

We've just gotta face facts--it's impossible.

I guess you're right, henroid.

Hey, what's this?

"Real world"?

Come on, june. Let's get real!

It's incredible!wow!

We're badly drawn, too!

Henry, look, bikes! Just like we saw in the picture!

Yeeeeeee-haw!

What do we do now?

Beats me.

Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Say! What is that?!

Real world pain.

Let's get outta here!

[Breathing heavily]

Cartoon. Right.

♪ Once upon a time in days of old ♪

♪ A species flourished, so I've been told ♪

♪ Called the shizzagee ♪

♪ Shizza- what? ♪♪ The shizzagee ♪

♪ But they were hunted down for their fluffy tail ♪

♪ They fought back bravely but to no avail ♪

♪ That's the shizzagee ♪

♪ Shizza- what? ♪♪ Shizzagee ♪

♪ So the last one ran away to the south pole ♪

♪ Where he froze his heinie in the icy cold ♪

♪ He was locked in the ice for a century ♪

♪ Till a kid named brutus came to set him free ♪

♪ And that's the story of the very last shizzagee ♪

♪ Shizza- what? ♪♪ Shizzagee ♪

♪ Shizza- what? ♪♪ Shizzagee! ♪

Welcome to clive khaki's splendid species.

Who's this maniac?

Hands off. It's my favorite nature show.

All right, but if it stinks, I'm clickin'.

The shizzagee is a beast

That's been extinct for hundreds of years.

Yeah, and I don't like it.

But maybe the shizzagee isn't really so extinct after all!

Say what?

Everyone knows the shizzagee's favorite food is caesar's salad.

Well, this crouton I found here in the amazon jungle

Tells me there may still be one shizzagee left!

High five!

There's another shizzagee!

I'm not extinct!

[Crash]

Get packed, brutus. We're going to the amazon!

Shiz, reality check.

We can't just go to the amazon.

You're right. We've gotta find

Your dad's frequent flier miles first.

Start tearin' the house apart!

I'm gonna capture that shizzagee

And put him in my splendid species zoo--

Stay tuned!

[Meow]can I please get my shirley temple?

[Meow...meow]

You're an irritant! You know that, right?

Shiz, did I mention that I'm allergic

To jaguars and boa constrictors?

Quiet, boy! All your yammering

Will scare off the other shizzagee.

[Chomp]

[Gulp]

Did I forget to mention crocodiles?!

Oh, brutus, come on! We don't have time for you

To frolic about in the wildlife.

Come on, shiz. Let's get real.

The amazon is over a million square miles.

How do you expect to--

Shhhhhhh. I'm picking up a scent--

[Sniffing] anchovy paste... Garlic...

And just a hint of lemon.

It's caesar dressing,

And it's coming from over here!

I never knew love like this before.

Hello, my sweet, sweet shizette.

Where have you been all my--

[Pop]

That's weird.

She's a fake, shiz! It's a trap!

I don't need this!

Isn't it bad enough that I'm extinct?!

[Alarm sounds]

There's the alarm telling me I've caught myself

A real, live, extinct shizzagee!

Let's go see.

This is all your fault, brutus mcgrutus.

My fault? It wasn't my bright idea to come here.

No time for apologies. Just get me out before clive khaki gets here.

Here, shiz.

Rub this butter all over yourself.

It'll make you slippery so you can slide through the bars.

Ok, but this is not gonna help my cholesterol.

[Both struggling]

I'm out!

I'm in?

Clive: here I come, you little shizzagee!

Save yourself, shiz. Don't worry about me.

When clive sees I'm not a shizzagee, he'll let me go.

I like the way you think.

Look at that beautiful--uh...

Rare...short-snouted...

And short-tailed extinct shizzagee.

She's gorgeous!

Um, excuse me?

Listen...that sound she's making

And that glazed expression on her shizzagee face

Means she's gonna have a baby!

Uh, you don't understand--

You're ok, girl. You're all right.

We're going to take good care of you

At my splendid species zoo

Where you can have your babies in peace.

Take her out of here, boys!

Help! Shiz!

Help!

Wow! This is really exciting.

We've got a real live shizza--

Gee. That would be me.

Um...

All right, shiz!

You know, we shizzagees weren't known only

For our large snouts and fluffy tails.

No?

No, we were also famous for...

Our blazing fastball.

I have a really bad headache.

Don't give up hope, shiz.

After all, clive did find those croutons.

That could mean there is another shizzagee.

I suppose.

And you've been invited to spring training with the yankees.

Get serious-- steinbrenner?

Well...you still have me.

Yeah...but I'm still extinct.

And I don't like it!

I know, buddy, I know.

Well, kablammers, it's been quite a show.

You've been lucky enough to witness

Our death-defying journey to the real world.

Here you go, fellow pioneer.

I had these handsome medallions made up

To commemorate the occasion.

Thanks.

So, how does it feel to be

One of the first two cartoon characters in history

To make it to the real world?

You can read all about it in my harrowing, personal account--

Into real air.

[Knocking]

What's that?

Here you go, footskie. The usual.

Well, would you look at the time.

We gotta be going-- really.

Please don't use that word.

Oh, right. So long, kablammers.

We'll see you next time.

Join us again next time.