03x07 - The New Class

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a cartoon crama-ganza!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.

And u.s. Department of education

Howdy, kablam-skins. I'm henry.

And I'm june.

Today on kablam!--

Man: cut! Hold it right there.

This is glen. I'm coming down.

Glen?who's glen?

Hey, there. I'm glen dilworth, your new director.

I was wrapping up a gig over at lifetime

When your network paged me.

I said to myself, "g.d., You've gotta work with henry and june."

Uh-huh. So tell us, g.d.,

What other big-name stars have you worked with?

Oh, just a certain international megastar named...

Screech.

Screech?

You directed saved by the bell?

S.b.t.b, the new class.

The numero unoprogram among kids aged to .

But, hey, maybe ratings don't matter that much to you guys.

Gle-e-e-e-en, baby!

Welcome to the show.

All right, now. When I work with young people,

What I like to do is start with an acting exercise.

I want you to think of something from your past,

And feel the emotion again.

[Sobbing softly]

Ah, ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Henry, you're leading off.

What experience were you thinking about?

Ohhhhhhhh.

Well, it was that time last season

When a rhino fell on my head.

Super. June, what were you thinking of?

Tee hee hee.

Time last season when a rhino fell on henry's head.

[Giggling]

Tee-riff.

And speaking of head-denting action,

Here's action league now!

Announcer: dateline: backyard national park

Where an innocent youngster defies his mother,

And gravity.

Look, ma. No hands!

Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

Gotcha!

♪ Thunder girl, catching a victim ♪

♪ Makes it look easy ♪

♪ With a-- ♪

Whoa!

Oh!

Ya-a-a-y!

Brilliant! So moving,

So real!

And who might you be, mate?

Louie d. Mayor, film director.

But enough about me.

You must star in my new movie, deadly thunder.

Little old me in the movies?

It's about time.

Where's my trailer? I need a hairstylist!

Get me some mineral water!

Oh, you'll get all that and more,

Or my name isn't louie the mayor!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Today's episode...

We find our heroes dangerously enmeshed

In a web of hollywood cliches.

Love ya, babe. Let's do lunch.

How's my hair? It's gotta look perfect on the big screen.

Sweet! Beautiful.looking hot.

Ha ha ha. Those gullible fools.

With thunder girl out of the way,

Air supremacy will be mine.

I'm ready, l.d.

Good.

When I call action,

You'll step in front of the train and die...

...rectly say your line.

Deadly thunder, take one.

And action!

Thunder girl: ♪ thunder girl stopping a freight train ♪

Oomph!

Ow!

The end.

Heh heh heh.

Oooh. How was i?

Thunder girl! You're alive!

I mean, your acting is so alive, so real.

Now get ready for your next scene.

Goody!

Where's my hairstylist?

Looks like this is going to take a little rewrite. Ha ha.

How's my hair?

Shiny and full,

Perfect for flying headfirst into that big fan.

Thunder girl: into the fan?

Is there a problem?

Yes, there's a problem.

What's my motivation?

Actors.

The little girl is, uh...getting windburns.

You must stop the fan at any cost.

Ok, I'm ready.

Action!

♪ Thunder girl, stopping a-- ♪

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Cut--lots of them. Heh heh heh.

Ooomph. How was i?

Ah! Thunder girl! You're supposed to be dead.

I mean changing for your next scene.

Who cares about wardrobe when you've got great hair?

Let's take . I wanna make sure this next scene

Really blows the audience away.

Not to mention you.

I think I smell oscar.

Uh, that might be me.

Guys, don't you think thunder girl might be getting hurt?

It's called acting, mate.

That's why she's a star.

Pass the brie.

Announcer: while the mayor frames his final shot,

A thespian thunder girl prepares for the part.

I wish I knew which was my best side.

They're both so great.

You're right again, thunder cookie.

You're like the best ever, t.g.

I don't think this part is right for you.

What do you know about movies?

Only what I read--look.

"Thunder girl's arms fall off.

"Thunder girl spontaneously combusts.

Thunder girl is run over"?

Ow!

When I need a rewrite, I'll call you.

That was great, thunder twinkie.

Always in character.

Moments later...

Perfect. Now it's your turn, thunder girl.

This scene's going to make you a flat-out smash!

Announcer: what's this?

Is our prima donna about to become

A prima gone-a?

Find out in the action- pulverized conclusion of...

Ha! Funny, funny stuff.ha ha ha ha ha.

It sure was.

Director: cut! Cut!

Now what?

Henry, great work.

June--mmmmm, no.

I'm just not feeling it.

You need to loosen up.

Come on, get loosey-goosey.

Yeah, loosey-goosey. Like me.

Now, let's try it again,

Only this time with more emotion.

Cue her, henry.

And...action!

Ha. Funny, funny stuff. Ha ha ha ha.

It sure was.

More emotion.

Again.

It sure was!

Dig deeper.

Again!

[A little louder] it sure was!

I'm still not feeling it.

Again.

Grrrr.

[Screaming]

[Breathing hard]

[Birds tweet]

[Claps]

[Sniffs]

Wow, june. That performance was brutally honest.

Just like our next cartoon, prometheus and bob.

Narrator: , years ago,

An alien videotaped his attempts

To educate a caveman--

The prometheus and bob tapes.

Tape ...

[Buzz]

[Drip drip]

Bob: eh.

[Slurps]

Eh. Eh. Eh.

Wait, wait, wait.

No, no, no.

[Strange electronic speech]

[Robot starts]

Eh.

Take that and go up there, ok?

[Squish]

Ahhhh! Ah!

W-wait.

Hey! Eh!

Eh. Eh.

Calm down. Calm down.

Take that and go up there, ok?

Hey.

[Crash]

Hey.

[Indiscernible]

Ow!

[Electrical buzzing]

Oh!

Ahhhhh!

[Shrieks]

[Chatters]

[Groans]

Heh heh heh. Hey.

[Pffft]

Hey!

Heh heh heh.

[Yelling]

[Buzzing]

[Shriek]

[Buzzing]

[Short-circuit sounds]

All right. Very good.

Ok, monk.

Ow!

Go wake your grammy. There's more kablam-my.

Still to come...

Life with loopy,

Patch head,

And when we return, more action league now!

Right here on...

The mayor directing...

Thunder girl deflecting...

As a safe is set to smoosh a sudden star,

Meltman struggles to make sense of a heavy-handed plot.

Something stinks here...

And it's not just this script.

You know, this guy looks familiar.

The mayor! Of course!

I should have known!

Thunder girl, I want you to stand here.

Wait!

Meltman! That's it. Security!

You'll thank me later. Action!

Everyone's a director.

Meltman, what are you doing?

You crushed the director.

Director, huh?

Thunder girl: the mayor?!

You were expecting, maybe, sidney lumet?

Meltman, I owe you an apology.

You're the real hero of this movie.

Love you, melty.

We want to be in the melty business.

Yahoo! I'm king of the world!

Oooh! Ooomph!oooh!

Oooh!

Uh, that's a...wrap.

[Bang]

The end.

Blimey! Talk about femur-rattling action--

Cut. I've got to stop you right there.

Uh, glen, in case you haven't noticed,

We're doing a show here.

Exactly. Tell me, henry.

What's the most important thing in acting?

Uh...

The snack cart?[Buzzer sounds]

No, it's to trust your director and fellow actors.

Trust was the key to my relationship with screech.

That's why I'd like to try an exercise I call "trust falls."

The idea is to fall backwards,

Trusting your partners to catch you.

June, you first.

But--but--

Trust, june.

You drop me, you die.

[Gasps]

Wow! That was kind of kablam-my.

My turn.

I trust you. This is great.

[Cuckoo, cuckoo]

Oops.

[Weakly] heh heh heh.

We... Trustyou'll fall for our next cartoon.

Starring america's favorite mixed-media moppet,

Loopy!

♪♪♪

Hi, larry here,

Coming at you from the most terrifying place on earth,

The dentist's office.

It's this tooth.

See, you wouldn't believe the trouble it's caused.

It started about a week ago.

[Screaming]

Owwww-hooo!

My tooth!

Maybe you should see a dentist, larry.

No! Not the dentist!

Come on, son. After he pulls your tooth out,

You can put it under the pillow for the tooth fairy!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha. Very funny.

Hey. If a vampire loses a tooth,

Does a fang fairy come and get it?

Clam up, creature features.

I'm not in the mood for your fang fairy fantasies.

Fantasies? Huh. We'll see about that.

Well, if there is a fang fairy out there,

He's gonna flip over these suckers.

[Crickets chirp]

[Thunder claps]

[Eerie music plays]

[Rooster crows]

[Reading, fang fairy's voice]

A curse? But--

Loopy: ar-ar-ar-arooooo!

Son, you've got to see a dentist about that tooth.

But, dad, it wasn't me.

Loopy: look everybody.

The fang fairy turned me into a werewolf.

Pretty cool, huh?

Hmm. Guess not.

Maybe I'd better find that fang fairy

And get this curse reversed.

Ah! An address.

Good thing he uses personalized stationery.

[Howling]

[Thunder claps]

Hello?

Anybody home?

Ahhh!ahhh!

Oh, so it's you,

The nasty little girl with the plastic fangs,

Come to beg me to remove the curse, no doubt.

Th-that's right, mr. Fang fairy, sir.

I don't like being a werewolf.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Too bad. Pity you didn't think of that

Before you played that rotten trick on me.

But you don't understand--

Silence! Do you realize who you're dealing with?

I am the fang fairy.

My fang-finding activities are the stuff of legend!

Wait a minute.

I never even heard of you before this morning.

Well, business has been a little slow lately.

Really? So, uh, when was the last time

You actually found a pair of fangs?

Well, it must have been... Oh, uh... Years ago.

Listen, pal, I hate to burst your bubble,

But the truth is no one even knows you exist.

Oh, dear. I think I need to sit down.

You're right. I've been fooling myself all these years.

I need a new career.

But what's an old fang fairy to do?

Hmm. I think I've got an idea.

What? What?

Hold your molars, pal.

First remove the curse,

Then we'll talk.

Larry: well, when loopy got home,

She was back to her old self again.

And as for me, well, as you can see,

I finally made it to the dentist.

Actually, loopy recommended this guy to me personally.

She says he's been in the tooth business for years.

[Loud footsteps]

Oh, here he comes now.

Open wide, young man.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Welcome back.

Uh--uh--uh. During that commercial, I had a brainstorm.

Henry, you're a squid.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. It's a little acting exercise called role-playing.

We did it all the time on s.b.t.b., The new class.

In fact, it's screech's favorite--

Oh, please. Screech this, screech that.

If you were so in love with s.b.t.b.l.t.whatever,

Why did you leave?

I, er, needed to broaden my creative horizons.

So, you're saying you got fired.

Look, I'm a squid. A happy, happy squid.

Uh-oh. The squid sees danger,

And fights back by spraying ink.

[Grrrrr]

Ok, that's a wrap. Take , everybody.

Uh, isn't there a cartoon we could go to or something?

♪♪♪

Hunker down, fans, for some bone-jarring action.

I'm critter.

I'm, uh... Dirt clod.

Welcome to the space age, slick city, demolition derby thunder pit.

Eeeee-yew!woo-hoo!

Critter: mr. Outta sight, mr. Dynamite, torque dipstick,

Has the pole position for today's derby.

Uh, mr. Dipstick? Torque?

What was that name, honey?

Junior.

"To junior. Keep your foot on the gas

"And keep reaching for the stars.

Your buddy, torque."

[Groaning]

Nuts to you, dipstick.

That oughta slow you down.

[Choking]

Hey! What's the diggety- dang-dang deal?

You didn't see nothin', squash head.

Thanks.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Mr. Dipstick! Mr. Dipstick! Stop! Stop!

Keep it 'tween the ditches.

Dirt clod: and they're off--off--off!

Buncha cars enter,

And one car leads.

Smash! Crash!corned beef hash!

Woooo-hooo!hoo hoo!

See you in the junkyard, lightweights.

He-e-e-e-ere we go!

Critter: crash kudzu puts the whammy on the volare viper.

Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!

Here comes torque dipstick in his blue plate special.

♪ Drivin' soldiers from the sky ♪

♪ Fearless men who crash and die ♪

♪ Men who mean just what they say ♪

♪ These are the men of the demolition der-bay ♪

Eee-hee-hee-hee.

What in the sam hill?

Shake, rattle and roll, dipstick.

Ha ha.

Patch head: mr. Dipstick's in trouble.

I gotta get on the good foot.

[Belches]

Road rule number , little flying, melon-headed fan.

Never take rides from strangers.

Yo, dipstick. Too bad you gotta split.

[Buzz]

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Yowza!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

We got this derby sewn up.

Thanks, helpful melon-headed youngster.

Ok, pumpkin head. Check out my magnetic personality.

You're dead meat, dipstick!

T-minus and countin'.

Rest in pieces! Ahhh!

......ignition and lift-off!

[Cheers]

All right! Hooooo-whee!

Critter: pilot to co-pilot.

Flying plymouth at :. Confirm?

And it's awesome, awesome, awesome! Ahhhhhhh!

What's the diggety- dang-dang-deal?

We diggety-dang-dang... Done it, mr. Dipstick.

Thank you, thank you.

Now, I'm no stranger to danger,

But I couldn't have done it without the help of my fans.

And my good buddy, patch head.

"To that number , son of a g*n, patch head.

Torque dipstick."

Heads up, good buddy.

Well, kablam-chops. It's all over but the shouting.

Thankfully.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We've got a lot more work to do.

You've gotta be kidding.

Nope. In fact, I'm willing to work all night, if need be.

Why? Because I believe in you guys.

Hello?

Shhh. Quiet. It's screech.

Hey, my man. What's up?

Really? You do?

Yes!

Screech wants me back!

I'm out of this amateur hour.

Screech, I'm there.

[In screech's voice] swell. My driver's waiting for you out back.

Later, hosen.

Henry, where were ya? Glen just went back to...

S.b.t.l.b.j.-- You know what I mean.

[In screech's voice] the new class? That's swell.

Hankski, you sly boots.

Those acting exercises really paid off.

I'll say!

We'll see you next time, kablam-skeets.

See ya.

Join us again next time.

Same kablam!time,