03x01 - More Happiness Than Allowed By Law

[bunniefuu]

Wake up the masses!

Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight!

Take a deep breath...

For a cartoon crama-ganza!

Iiiiit's...

Kablam!

Where cartoons and comics collide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

Here are your hosts, henry and june.





Hey, ka-viewers.

I'm june,

Welcoming you to a very special birthday episode

Of kablam!

Is there someone named..

Henry around here?

Whoa! A remote-controlled car!

This is the kablamiest gift ever!

Today's our birthday episode,

Because it was exactly years ago

That the artist, mark markek,

First put his pen to paper

And brought us both to life.

Wow, look at her go!

Henry...

What?

Don't you have something to say to me?

Sure do. These mag wheels really grip the road!

I can't believe it.

You forgot.

Forgot what?

Would you like to try it, birthday girl?

Thanks, henry!

You're right.

This present I gave you was the kablamiest ever.

Almost as kablamy as the world premiere of jetcat.

And then on sunday,

My mom took me fishing down at luna lake.

It was so rad!

I can beat that.

Saturday, I went to the zoo with my cousins,

And sunday was mike bleck's bowling party,

Which was, like, so cool!

Bowling party?

I wasn't invited to any bowling party.

Well--um--you--

Mike could only invite kids, mel.

You know how it is.

I don't care that I wasn't invited.

I just can't believe you never told me about it.

Best friends shouldn't keep secrets, todd.

We have a sacred relationship.

[Thundering footsteps] ha ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Everybody panic!

Creepin' crud, melanie!

Look at that giant radio-controlled robot!

This isn't just trouble.

This is jetcat trouble!

Rrr!

Melanie...mckay?

You--you're--

Jetcat?

Uh--no!

You're just... Imagining things.

Ha ha! Roller buses!

Ha ha ha.

I'm so funny!

Yeah. A regular comedian!

Whoaaaaa!

Whoaaaa!

Now, that'sfunny.

Whoa!

Now... Where were we?

Hey, what's going on here?

Uh--well--uh--

What od you mean?

Oh, come on. You never told me you were jetcat!

Jet...who?

Gimme a break!

What was all that baloney about

Best friends shouldn't keep secrets?

This is totally different, todd.

Yeah, the part about best friends.

See you later, melanie.

Or whoever you are.

Hang on, todd. Todd, i--

Aw, phooey!

Todd!

Wait up.

Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday,

But I just couldn't tell you my secret.

My mortal enemies would use you to blackmail me.

Yeah, right.

I said I was sorry.

How can I make it up to you?

Well...you could bring me a cherry icy ice,

Right..now.

Mmm!

So we're pals again, right?

You think you can buy back our friendship

With an icy ice?

No way!

However...

A comic book might help.

Yes...

I want a comic book...

From another planet...

In another solar system.

What?

In mint condition, please.

No can do, todd.

That would be an abuse of my super powers.

Well, I'd hate to have to tell everyone

Melanie mckay is... Jetcat.

Todd johnson, you're a bad seed.

Yes! I'll have the rarest comic book on earth! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

No! Ah, ha ha ha ha!

Oof!ha ha ha!

Ah!ah ha ha!

Hey!

Aah!ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Help! [Gasps]

Jetcat!

Ha ha ha! Ya!

Aah!

Uh! Ow!

Get off!

Whoa-oa-oa!

[Gasps]

Yaaaaaaah!

That's...

Enough...

Evil...

For you!

I fly like a jet and fight like a cat.

Hence, the name.

Boy, we all learned a little lesson today,

Didn't we, todd?

I suppose I wasn't a very good friend, was i?

Try jerk.

[Sighs]

Ah...then again,

I suppose I should have told you about me being jetcat and all.

I mean, if you can't tell your best friend your biggest secret,

Who can you tell?

Jetcat does it again. What a story!

Jetcat,

Could we get a picture of you next to the giant robot?

Step aside, kid.

Hey, don't push my pal!

Any pictures of me include him.

You're her pal?

What's her real identity?

Who is jetcat?

You wanna know who she is?

Tell us. Yeah!

She's my best friend, that's who.

Welcome back to the superfantastic,

Henry and june-june-june birthday-birthday-birthday

Celebration!

[Roaring crowd sound] ahhhh!

Yeah, a celebration where I buy him a really great gift,

And he gets me a big bag of jack!

Bag of jack?

Au contraire.

Whaddaya call this?

A wedding cake?

No way! It's a birthday cake.

Oh!

Then how do you explain

The bride and groom on the top?

What are you talking about?

That's not a bride and groom.

They're special june's birthday action figures,

Tuxedo man and white wedding dress lady.

Uh-huh. Read the inscription.

"Congratulations on your wedding,

Helen and--"

Hey, pound cake!

Get it?

And speaking of poundings,

Let's action the action leaguetake one.

Shall we?

Dateline: action headquarters

Where our heroes return from a routine patrol

To find the ultimate indignity.

Somebody tped h.q.!

I feel so violated!

They used me own private stash!

You were saving that roll for a special occasion!

Who could be so mean?

Let's ask that ninja guy lurking in the shadows.

Ow!

"The red ninja."

After all these years,

He's come back for me.

And this time...

Only one of us will survive.

[Gong]

Today's episode...

Our story begins with an unwieldy but necessary

Flashback sequence.

It all began back at kung fu junior high.

The red ninja and I

Were sparring for our tutor, master pu.

Ow!

Red was always a sore loser.

Red ninja, you must do detention.

Ohhhhh!

I'll get you some day, stinky one!

So now you see, it's him or me.

No, way, stinky. We're a team!

All for one, and one for all.

Yeah!

Tell it!go, girl!

You don't understand.

The red ninja's a ruthless k*lling machine!

Whoa, look at the time!

I've got therapy!

And so, with a showdown ahead,

A smelly samurai pays a visit to his kung fu guru.

Hey, master pu!

How's it hanging?

Stinkhopper, have you forgotten all your training?

When addressing one's master,

One must always bow.

Oh, yeah, right.

Sorry, master pu.

Also, never take your eye off your opponent.

[Groans]

It's nice to see you, too.

The years have made you soft like bean curd.

To fight red ninja,

We must begin training immediately.

Only in your mind does the fire burn.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh! Oh! Ow!

Only in your mind do the blows sting.

Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!

Only in your mind

Does the brick cause you pain.

Blimey!

You have come far in short time, stinkhopper.

You are ready to fight the red ninja.

Are you kidding?

All I'm ready for is the emergency ward.

Nonsense. The butterfly does not need wings to fly.

Wait a minute. Yes, it does!

[Angrily] you know what I mean!

[Softly] now, go out and mess up his red ninja face.

Later, in a secret kung fu village...

[Chanting] stinky, stinky, stinky!

Stinky!

Yay!

Boo!

You look as bad as you smell, stinkhopper.

You want a piece of me? Huh?!

They're, uh...goin' fast.

Ow!

Oh, forget it.

Can master fu's master plan

Save stinky diver?

Or will this mismatch make him meet his maker?

Stay tuned for the action--hyah!--

Conclusion of...

Go wake your grammy!

There's more kablamy!

Still to come...

Prometheus and bob,

Life with loopy,

And when we return,

More action league now!

Right here on kablam!

Ninja returned.

Stinky diver learned.

Master pu concerned.

As the red ninja prepares to deep-six

A dismembered diver, only one option remains--

Think, man, think!

What would master pu say right now?

The quills of the porcupine

Must sometimes flutter through the air.

Huh? What the devil does that mean?

Use your spear g*n, idiot!

Oh, right.

Fire!

All: hooray for stinkhopper!

Stinkhopper, you won.

I salute you.

No thanks to you, you rotter.

Aah!

Like you always say...

Never take your eyes off your opponent, master pu!

All: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The end.

That certainly was an action-choked episode

Of action league now!

Speaking of choking...

June, look!

See? I told you it's a birthday cake.

Get a grip, henry. You forgot my birthday, o.k.?

Now let's just move on with our lives.

As I was saying,

Choking is a very serious problem.

That's why we at kablam are proud to be part of

A nation-wide, anti-choking campaign.

There he is!

So ya like wedding cake, huh, punk?

Ah, very good.

Henry is exhibiting some of the classic signs of choking--

Turning blue, gasping for air,

And clutching his throat.

If you ever see someone choking,

Help them by using the heimlich maneuver

Which I will now demonstrate

With the aid of my assistant,

Mr. Foot.

Remember kids, only nimrods choke.

Now, here's two guys who never forget each other's birthdays,

Prometheus and bob.

, Years ago,

An alien videotaped his attempts to educate a cave man...

The prometheus and bob tapes.

Tape number .

[High-pitched voice] o.k. Hey, hey. Here's what we're gonna do here.

Listen to me, huh?

Watch.

Ha ha ha ha!

All right. Bob. Come on.

Bob.

Sit.

Lay down.

[Groans] uh...ah...

O.k. Now hear me.

Bend your knees.

Bend them...bob...

Hey! What are you doing?!

Come on now, bob...

[Whimpers]

[Thump]

Hey! Why don't you sit down?

[Muttering]

Hey!

Oh!

Ha ha ha ha!

Watch me.

And--

[Gasps]

Get out of here!

Hey, look.

There. Hee hee hee.

Look. Hey.

Hey, hey.

[Yawns]

Get down from the tree, will ya?!

Come down!

[Glass shatters]

Welcome back, kablamsters.

Get ready for more cartoon crammin',

Because next up, we've got--

♪ For she's a jolly kablamer ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

Henry...

June, I'm really sorry about forgetting your birthday.

And I just hope you can forgive me.

Here.

I baked this for you.

I know it's not much, but...

Really?

[Romantic music plays]

You made this?mm-hmm.

Gee, henry...

You didn't have to do that.

Well, you know, I'm not a complete jerk.

I mean, what people don't always understand about me is that--

Huh?

You should really eat that before it gets soggy.

Henry...

Right. Zip it.

Hi. Larry here.

You know, our dad's a pretty good guy.

He works hard, doesn't complain,

And always remembers to flush.

[Toiletflushes]

In fact, the only problem with dad

Is there's just not enough of him to go around.

Hey, dad, can you help me with my science homework?

Sorry, son. Kinda busy right now.

But dad, you promised to play martian met scientist with me.

Mom: honey, where are you?

The dishes are piling up in here.

Hold your horses, people.

I can't be in places at once, now can i?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Now to me, dad's question was perfectly logical.

But loopy took it as a scientific challenge.

That night, she got busy in the basement,

And by the next morning,

She converted mom's twin tub deluxe washer/dryer into...

A fully functional cloning device.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Ouch!

I simply drop dad's nose hair into the protoplasmic vat,

Set the machine on spin...

And...voila!

Hey, snappy duds, fella.

Right back at ya, pal.

Loopy's cloned dad turned out to be a molecular miracle.

Pass the glue g*n, son.

In fact, he was such a success

That loopy made another one.

[Sighs] done cleaning out the gutters, dear.

Reporting for dish duty.

And another.

O.k., Quetzalcoatl, sacrifice me to the sun god.

And soon, we had dads in the house.

But little did we know that messing with genetics

Can have catastrophic repercussions.

Just in time for the charlie chicken show.

Golf.

Bass fishing.

Celebrity lawn darts!

And I wasn't the only one suffering.

With dads and no washing machine,

Mom was starting to lose it.

Out...out, darn spot!

[Wild giggling]

But for loopy,

The situation was reaching critical mass.

Hey, now, loopy, what's the motivation for the acceleration?

Haven't forgotten it's bath night, have you, pumpkin?

Sweetie, look what I found in the attic!

All your old baby photos!

Aah!

All: was it something I said?

You're not messing with my power tools, are you?

[Singsong] loopy...

Where are you, sugar plum?

All: jumpin' jimminy!

Dad, read me a bedtime story.

Dad, may I call you egor?

Dad, why can't we eat candy for breakfast?

I, uh, just remembered

Loopies: dad, dad, dad, dad!i have a previous engagement.

Me, too!

Ditto!

And soon, of the d-a-ds were back to being dna

And only one was left.

Well, pumpkins, it may take me a while,

But I'll find time for each and every one of ya.

Yep, it was the original.

The one and only...

Our dad.

All: yay, dad!

So that was that.

We learned our lesson. One dad's enough for all of us.

Of course, the only question is now...

What are we gonna do with all these loopies?

Loopies, all together: hey, dad! Here! Whoo! Hey! Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!

Well, I guess that wraps up our super fantastic birthday edition

Of kablam.

I don't know about that.

[Fanfare]

If you don't want it,

I guess I could take it back.

Oh, it's the absolute kabamiest, henry!

My very own mood ring!

Wow!

Did you see how it went from green to blue?

That means you're going from sad...

To...happy!

I am happy, henry.

And why wouldn't you be,

Considering how much I spent on that thing?

Wow! Did you see how fast that changed?

[Growls] rrr...i bet you never got a present this rad before!

Let's see...

Orange. That means you're feeling a little annoyed.

Actually, I'm feeling a lot annoyed.

Boy, I wish instead of that rinky-dink car

You'd bought me one of these!

Whoa! Check it out! It's flashing!

That means you're...

Really ticked off

Because your so-called friend

Is an inconsiderate, self-absorbed blockhead?

Bingo.

Hey, it's turning blue.

I'm happy again, henry.

Happy birthday, june.

Happy birthday, henry.

Bye, you guys.

Ka-thanks for ka-watching kablam!

Join us again next time.

Same kablam time, same kablam network!