01x08 - You've Tried the Rest! Now Try the Best!

[bunniefuu]

- MAN: Big up masses.

- KABLAM NARRATOR: Assume the crash position.

Hold on tight. - [abseiler screaming]

- NARRATOR: Take a deep breath

for a new kind of cartoon show.

- ♪

♪

- NARRATOR: It's..."KaBlam",

where cartoons and comicscollide.

Now to take you inside and turn the pages,

here are your hosts: Henry and June.

- ♪

- Hello, KaBlamoids.

And welcome to another cartoon KaBlamaganza.

I'm Henry.

- And I'm--[laughing]

- Oh, no. June, have you got the giggles again?

- [laughing]

Don't worry. It's under control.

No problem. Sorry.

- Okay. Like I was saying, I'm Henry--

- [laughing]

- What?

- [floor banging]

- [ceiling cracking]

- [laughing] I'm a professional--

- Look, if you can't control yourself,

try thinking of something really sad.

- Okay.

- [sad music plays]

- I can't! [laughing]

- You want sad? I'll give you sad.

- [dramatic music plays] - [laughing]

- Now that was funny.

And so is this. Here's Sniz & Fondue.

- JUNE: [laughing] It's not working.

- ♪

- MALE RADIO DJ: Juicy .

Okay, here's today's $, question.

Name the actress who lost her head,

literally, in Castle of Discomfort.

- Root! I need a quarter.

Argh! - I'm lackus fundus.

- Quarter! Quarter!

- MR. TAKE: Yo, kid!

- Thanks, dude.

- MR. TAKE: You're good for it, right?

- Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

- Erm...Fondue, isn't that, erm, Mr. Take?

The notoriously notorious loan shark?

- [phone ringing] - Shh! It's ringing.

- Say Karen Kavarichi.

- Fruits on that! It's Linda Babrichi.

Hello?

- RADIO DJ: Okay, for $,...

- The answer is...

- Karen Kavarichi!

- [growling]

- RADIO DJ: No. I'm terribly sorry.

The correct answer is Linda Babrichi.

- [phone disconnection bleep]

- SNIZ: Well, how was I supposed to know your answer was right?

- 'Cause I've seen the film times.

- [door knocking]

- ♪

- So, you dudes got my money?

- Wow! You champs scared the fruits out of me.

- Here. You got change?

- [laughing]

- According to my calculations,

with compounded interest, you now owe me $.

- What? - What?

- You see, I charge % interest by the minute.

- [cash register pinging]

- Uh, no--no, no problem. You wait here.

- ♪

- [nervous laugh] Prune frappe?

- ♪

- Correct me if I'm mistaken. These are unopened model kits?

Mint. In a box.

- ♪

- I get my money by o'clock tomorrow

or next time we open the box.

- [teeth chattering]

- ♪

- Coast is clear--hey! What are you doing?

Put 'em back.

We don't steal. They do.

- It's hardly stealing. They put so many in you room.

- [door knocking] - [scream]

[teeth chattering]

- Chill.

It's just the room service I ordered.

- ♪ This is the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I likes it... ♪

- Oh, no! Oh, no!

- [door crashing]

- ♪

- Boom, boom. Some like it hot.

But I sure don't.

- Help, mommy!

- MR. TAKE: We'll talk in the car. It's air-conditioned.

- ♪

- [teeth chattering]

- Where are you taking us?

- You'll see.

- Hey, how about some cruising tunes?

- Sure. Why not?

Crazy kids and your rock-n-roll.

- RADIO DJ: Juicy .

Okay, it's time for today's $, question.

Name the actress who whined like a sissy,

literally, in "The Monster that Made me Cry."

- Ruth Cahill! I know this.

- Me too!

- Muscles! Stop him!

He's gonna call the cops.

- [phone keys bleeping]

- Ugh. Oh. - [glass smashing]

- ♪

- Why you little pigeon. - Hi-ya!

- [phone dial ringing]

- Stay back. It's ringing.

Hello?

- RADIO DJ: Juicy . You're on the air.

- Karen Cahill!

- Danielle Agadroza!

- RADIO DJ: That is correct.

- FONDUE: Yahoo!

Six thousand, seven thousand.

- Terrific. Super.

- Eight. Nine thousand.

- Come on. Be a good little schnorzone.

- Ten thousand.

- That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Ten thousand.

Here. Nice doing business with you.

- Twenty bucks?

- Yeah.

'Cause we had a couple of laughs along the way.

[laughing] Later.

- [door closes]

- Well, Sniz, looks like we're going to the movies!

- Yes! - Yes!

- ♪

- After what happened to Fondue, I'm turning over a new leaf.

Here's your zither back, Henry. My borrowing days are over.

- [strings plucking]

- [instrument smashing]

- Hey! It's broken.

- [crash]

- I didn't let you borrow all this stuff.

- Erm...I was just keeping it warm.

- Captain Snuffy!

- ♪

- [creaking]

- What's this?

- It's your irregularly shaped boulder collection.

- But I don't have

an irregularly shaped boulder collection.

Oh, no!

- [boulders crashing]

- Uh, wanna borrow one?

- ♪

- Guess not.

Well, here's a collection of crime fighters

sure to rock your world.

Get ready for action. It's Action League Now.

- ACTION LEAGUE NARRATOR: Dateline, Mount Kilimanjaro,

where the Chief takes time out from his daily grind

to admire the works of nature.

- These blasted mountains are beautiful.

And, yet, they are but a pale backdrop for your radiance.

- NARRATOR: But, as love begins to blossom,

danger is in full bloom.

- [dog barking] - Quiet, Justice.

Get your own blasted girlfriend. Whoa!

[screams]

- Ha! With your chief missing,

the loser league will be sucked into my evil trap.

- ♪

- NARRATOR: Action League.

Now starring The Flesh:

he's super strong and super naked.

Thunder Girl: she flies like thunder.

Stinky Diver: a former navy commander

with an attitude as bad as his odor.

And Meltman: with the power to...melt.

Today's episode...

We find our heroes at action headquarters,

lost without their beloved leader.

- I've got m*ssile lock!

- [m*ssile exploding] - MELTMAN: Ow!

Okay you cretins. That's enough.

The Chief's not here

so, as senior member, I'm in charge.

Ow! Ow.

- Yeah. In charge of getting sodas.

- ALL: Sodas! Sodas! Sodas! Sodas!

- Oh, alright.

But when I get back I'm kicking rump and taking names.

- ALL: [laughing]

- [dog barking]

- What is it, Justice?

- [dog barking]

- The Chief must be in trouble.

- Action League away!

- [tapping]

- Those guys don't know

how lucky they are to have me around.

I'm a--I'm a can do guy.

- [cans crashing]

- Ow. Oh. Ow! Oh.

- [cans rolling]

- Ow. I'm back.

Hey. They ditched me.

That's it. I quit.

They won't have Meltman to kick around anymore.

Oh!

- NARRATOR: Meanwhile,

the rest of the league conducts an exhaustive Chief hunt,

by land, by air,

by sea.

- ♪

- Aargh!

- ♪

- Aargh!

- Ha, ha! I'm too big and fat.

Ouchie!

- Ha-ha! I've got the Flesh eating disease.

- THE FLESH: Aargh!

Look, guys. I found the Chief!

- You muzzle-headed moron! Don't you get it?

We've all been hoovered.

- And only Meltman can save us.

- ALL: We're doomed!

- Ninety-nine, one hundred. My final paycheck.

Well, I guess I'd better put this in a safe place.

What the...hey! Give me back my money!

I want to see the bank manager! Whoa!

- Here he is, Mushman! And you're next!

- NARRATOR: Will the Mayor's sinister plan

be a sucking success?

And what of the Action League trapped in a dirtbag of doom?

Stay tuned for the vacuum-packed conclusion of

Action League Now.

- KABLAM NARRATOR: Hey, KaBlamoids!

Keep your derriere in your chair-iere.

Still to come, Life with Loopy,

The Offbeats,

and more Action League Now.

Right here on "KaBlam!"

- ACTION LEAGUE NARRATOR: We last left our heroes

vacuum sealed in a dusty tube.

Their only hope? The spurned Meltman

who takes the kind of action he's famous for.

- Ah! Don't hurt me!

- NARRATOR: Evasive action.

- ♪

- [toilet flushing]

- Aah!

- ♪

- You can run, but you can't wipe.

- CHIEF: What in hairy's henhouse?

- Loo paper. Robbing us of precious oxygen.

- At least it's squeezably soft.

- ♪

- Aah!

- Suck it up, Meltman. You're going down the tube.

- Aah!

- ALL: We're doomed!

- ♪

- Uh-oh. Here's trouble.

- [vacuum exploding]

- Why'd you do it, Mayor?

- Would you believe I'm a neatnik?

- Nice going, Melty.

- We owe you an apology, mate.

- And our lives. You really should be in charge.

- You think so?

- Absolutely. In charge of getting us...pizza.

- ALL: Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!

- NARRATOR: The end.

- ♪

- I don't know about you, June,

but all that white-knuckle Action League excitement

has made me hungry.

- Nothing a little tapioca pudding couldn't cure.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- First, you'll need a large vacuum cleaner.

Add butter, eggs, sugar, and finally tapioca.

- Mix until creamy.

- Then serve.

- It's gonna blow.

- I know.

- [vacuum exploding]

- Mmm. A taste treat for the whole family.

- Just like our next cartoon. Here's Life With Loopy.

- ♪

- Hi, I'm Larry.

This is my sister Loopy, and this...is my summer vacation.

A total washout.

This all started a couple of weeks ago.

It had been a long, hot day and the air was thick as toast.

- [thunder rumbling]

- Hey. What was that? What's going on?

- LARRY: Now I was just about to explain to Loopy

that thunder is caused by air rapidly expanding

due to temperature changes in the upper stratosphere,

when mom butted in and said...

- It's just the sound of Mother Nature bowling, honey.

- Bowling?

While people are trying to sleep?

Now that's not good sportsmanship.

- Please don't get all excited, dear.

- [thunder rumbling]

- Hey! Mother Nature! You want to bowl?

Bowl with me!

- [thunder rumbling]

- [lightning crackling] - [gasps]

- ♪

- WINDBAG: : Strike-a-rooney!

So, pipsqueak,

think you got what it takes to beat Mother Nature, do you?

- That's right, Mrs. Windbag. And if I win,

then you gotta lay off bowling for the rest of the summer.

- Okay. But if I win,

then you gotta paint all the leaves brown this fall.

I hate that job.

- Deal. Fire when ready.

- LARRY: And so the great bowl-off began.

Now, Mother Nature had the muscle.

- I call this my typhoon toss.

- LARRY: But Loopy had the touch.

- Well, I call this my pastrami on rye.

Put me down for a strike, Mrs. Bluster Buns.

- Okay, short stuff.

Feel the wrath of my hurricane hurl.

Ha, ha, ha! You shouldn't have messed with me.

I'm Mother Nature.

I make the sun come up and the pins go down.

- LARRY: Lucky for Loopy,

nature can be a little unpredictable at times.

- What do you call that? A natural disaster?

- Eat an avalanche, kid.

- ♪

♪

- LARRY: And, finally, there it was.

The big linguini. The granddaddy of them all.

The dreaded seven-ten split. Loopy needed both pins to win.

- [yawns]

- LARRY: She also needed a nap.

It was late. Way past her bedtime.

- Aww. Is the little kiddy-winky feeling tired?

Ha, ha, ha.

Why don't you come back when you're all grown up?

- Go gargle on a gutter ball.

- ♪

- [gasps]

- It's all in the wrist. No hard feelings?

- [crying]

- Hey! You're soaking my shoes!

- ♪

- Don't be such a sore loser.

- LARRY: And it's been raining ever since.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

it's time I got back to my summer vacation.

- ♪

- Here's a little something we like to call--

- --our next cartoon.

- ♪

- Nobody else's dog gets a day off.

- It's in my contract.

- Then I'll just have to play with another dog today.

- As you wish.

- ♪

- OFF-BEATS NARRATOR: They never stay, never stay small.

And the populars don't like 'em at all.

But that's okay. Life is sweet.

They cool.

They the off-beats.

- Robodog. Plays forever.

- [electronic barking]

- [steel drum music playing]

- [electronic barking]

- Sit.

Shake.

Roll over.

- [heavy breathing]

- ♪

- [electronic barking]

- Fetch.

- ♪

- [flute music playing]

- [sigh]

- [electronic barking]

- Not now, Robodog. I'm not in the mood.

"Robodog plays forever".

- [electronic barking]

- Oh.

- [electronic barking]

- ♪

- [electronic barking]

- ♪

- [electronic barking]

- ♪

- No more, Robodog.

Please. No more.

- [electronic barking]

- Hmm.

- I beg you.

- [electronic barking]

- Roboboy plays forever.

- Here boy. Here boy. Here boy.

- ♪

- [electronic barking]

- ♪

- Thanks, September.

- You're welcome.

- Enjoy the rest of your day off.

- I will.

- As our time together comes to a close,

we'd just like to thank you-- Do you mind, June?

- Sorry.

- [vacuum turns off]

- As I was saying,

we'd like to thank you for inviting us into your homes.

- [glass squeaking]

- Here at KaBlam,

we know you have a choice when it comes to your viewing.

And we're just happy you chose us.

Yes, we have all the entertainment options

available to consumers today.

In this, the information age, we make this promise:

We'll never take your commitment for granted.

Hey!

- Time to disappear.

See you next time, KaBlamoids.

- ♪

- KABLAM NARRATOR: Join us again, next time.

Same KaBlam time, same KaBlam network.

- ♪

♪

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