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04x09 - What If?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The New Leave It to Beaver". Aired: March 19, 1983 – June 4, 1989.*
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Series focuses on Wally Cleaver and his younger brother, Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver as adults and with families of their own.

04x09 - What If?

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

that's just what they'll do one of these

days these boots it's gonna walk all

over you what do you think I thought you

were gonna do a song this is rap the

music of the street not Pine Street you

guys really didn't like it oh no you

were terrific it's just that the Nancy

Sinatra version holds such fond memories

for me I think you both worked so hard

that you deserve something special

come on and Oliver when you do something

with those shoelaces peppers don't tie

their shoes it's part of the image

I thought disco was bad can't poem from

you date already if I was smart I never

would have gone out to begin with

I thought our lien was pretty cute that

was it her dad it's a ritual of dating

seems so futile

I mean you finally find a girl you like

you ask her out you meet her parents

you drop a week span and for what I mean

to find out that after a half hour you

have nothing more to say to each other

then Monday you start all over again

does it get any better in college

not really it doesn't know there you are

far away from home and a big unfriendly

campus the girls won't look at you cuz

you're a freshman the guys think you're

a nerd because you haven't got a date

thanks dad so you find yourself in the

basement of the Student Union playing

pinball with the foreign exchange

students right and if you don't get into

a decent fraternity you might as well

kiss your social life goodbye

hey wait a minute did I tell you about

the sorority girls boy what a bunch of

snobs

[Music]

yes yes mr. goody now I know or three

days late but you got to understand I'm

putting this yearbook together with spit

elbow grease and a bunch of rejects in

the audiovisual Club Friday or find a

new printer yes yes mr. Gooding Friday

the 25th it is DT but sir yes sir

there's no way we can get this thing

together by the 18th we relax Freddy

relax I'm about to be the first editor

in school history to put out a yearbook

with 132 blank pages plenty of space for

everybody to sign them oh I know how you

can cut a few pages just to scrap that

section on the cafeteria workers great

yep get a mat and the food will be

terrible next year care we're seniors

if I appreciate your feeble attempt at

humor but I need to find someone do the

senior photo layout by tomorrow 300

pictures by tomorrow

good luck these guys exactly my point

that's why I need someone trustworthy

reliable someone who if fired would find

themselves half a credit sure to

graduating

[Music]

binky Lutz I haven't seen him in a while

oh that's right they tried a man that

dolphin all these faces friends

classmates and those guys always hang

out with the janitor

[Music]

Wow Charlene Maitland it seems like a

million years ago

what cute kid

Oh Chelsea Morgan now what a smile a

wonder my attendance was so good junior

year

maybe I had a better time in high school

than I thought I did

[Music]

how are you Richardson well I was like

crazy about her of course who wouldn't

be come on that's ancient history

yeah work to do not see we do six kids a

page of captions below the pictures we

[Music]

all Richards

good night good night good night Kip

[Music]

let's see anything wrong with this

picture other than the fact that it's

not included in the layout which is

supposed to be on goodies desk in 13

hours it's not a good picture we have to

reshoot it out of 300 senior pictures

five we're good okay you're the editor

in chief you don't care what you put

your name on if you want us to hold up

our printer who's giving us diamond

stitch binding at no extra cost just so

that we can get a new picture of Lori

Richardson of course I'm only thinking

of the good of the yearbook right and

when my father buys a case of beer he's

only thinking of the brewery workers

since I saw a picture last night I just

keep thinking well maybe fate dealt Lori

and I a bad hand a bad hand Kip you were

playing tongue tag with her best friend

judgment but I came for it

I mean Laurie has to have some fond

memories of us and of her junior year in

England where she met her boyfriend from

Oxford big deal that goes to a college

named after a shoe come on Freddie

give me a photographer I just need an

excuse to see her I don't have a

photographer he's covering the stinky

let's appeal besides the last time you

saw Lloyd the woman threatened to come

after you with hot scissors

I know the odds are long but you know I

just keep thinking what if I mean what

if there's still something there Freddie

what if Lori and I were meant for each

other what if she still has those

scissors dedicate the yearbook to you is

gonna be you yeah I I kind of asked

Freddie to let him come you see Wow it

was really beautiful toggle fee yeah

well I am when I have the right subject

still the smooth talker say remember

those poems used to write to me softly

star shine in the night so still I cast

my love from a lonely hill her life is

bleak and I cannot sleep when we're kept

so far apart remember that yeah I found

it when I was cleaning my room I'm so

Cordy I couldn't forget it

Jacob seems like ages since we've even

talked to each other how long has it

been it was two years ago at the

sophomore blood drive you gave me

crackers and apple juice and told me to

lie down deal yeah we're 17 units over

our goal I'm really glad you here

captain

oh yeah I thought it looked terrible in

my picture great what did your boyfriend

think about it huh Leslie I'd really

rather not talk about him sometimes it

can be such a jerk

yeah well guys gonna be that way well

I'm all set yeah me too you know I've

been thinking back lately and I think

what we had was it was pretty special

really yeah we did have some good times

and we were so young infants babies I

mean teeny tiny babies Oh

something wrong I I think I need a light

meter

maybe you should turn it on good idea

are you getting a reading

am I ever you're so pretty

yeah I'd really like to capture the

thank you to understand the technical

term actually I just really like to

capture the young I'm sorry I don't know

what happened

[Music]

Sophie's secret us out this is the first

time she's been caught stealing that's

something a grandmother can't ignore I

would love to be another of her

grandchild she's capable of bringing up

my granddaughter could Sophie's worst

fear come true to raise that child

myself

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[Applause]

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the composting Oh a sad one does have

it's great he's not the pinch wheel is

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oh no oil it's the original oil Lisa I

just sad soap on that one the best

advice you can give anyone it's

guaranteed to be far less gentlemanly

than the encounters 100 years ago

calling wooden cars and making history

in the centenary match live Thursday

[Music]

well thank you very much mr. Stevens and

if I see mr. Haskell I'll be sure and

pass that information along is he gone

yet come on out you coward we just

failed our building inspection hey would

you expect anyone with an ounce of

common sense would have had a C note in

her palm when he shook his hand I saw

your heating ducts not me

you Molly pal your beef is with the

subcontractor so where do you stand in

all this besides the closet I'm the

general contractor my job is to find you

the cheapest subcontractor then pass

those savings along to you some savings

now it's gonna cost me twice as much

come on Eddie we had a deal you promised

me that we wouldn't have these kind of

problems Holly let me tell you something

about the construction business and when

I'm bidding a job

I'll tell the customer whatever he wants

to hear you should hear the whopper I

told Monsignor O'Keefe to get the

rectory deal I want you to get on the

phone and get that guy over here and get

this thing fixed now hey let's not be so

hasty after all with a global warming

trend you may not need those heating

ducts all right all right fair what's on

your mind

well I'm sure you heard the great news

about Laurie and me getting back

together isn't she the one that gave you

tomorrow and I'll have us your best

friend

anyway well we've got this big fifties

party coming up on Friday and I know

you'll probably say no I mean Laurie

would really be impressed we want to

borrow the t-bird huh

stupid request you remember what

happened last time you borrowed it okay

I promise no making out will the car is

moving

look Kip I gotta go I got a pickup on

Lee and Kelly at rehearsal I know how

much your t-bird means to you but I mean

with Lori and me it's not like we met on

vacation

it's destiny I mean I can feel it feel

it in your dad's car Kippy oh man I

couldn't help overhearing so you trying

to impress the main squeeze I just want

to have every day special for her but

until you do just keep in mind what the

foundation of every truly meaningful

relationship is what's that sure it's a

chance where'd you get all those hey I

got a buddy that's a collector oh yeah

he collects watches no he collects debts

but sometimes he ends up with watches

huh notice the detail the craftsmanship

I'm gonna scratch that on the back here

what are you talking about that's

brushed chrome no I can read it to my

darling fine

don't take the breast roll

yes yeah you give her this baby you're

gonna have to pry her off of you with a

crowbar I can let it go for 50 bucks and

I threw in a lovely Velveteen gift box

I'll have a guarantee 90 days 90 days of

it breaks in 80 days if you get caught

with see what I got you I wasn't

expecting you a Cindy Kip haha okay

excuse us please

okay close your eyes and give me your

hand this huh do you love it yeah oh

that's some dress Thanks

it's a little fancy for a fifties party

yep it's a wedding dress wedding oh oh

wait we are crazy about each other but I

don't know if I'm ready marriage

Kevin I'm marrying Leslie let me try and

explain but you should only have to

explain I understand perfectly you led

me on and now you're marrying some guy

with a girl's name look have you ever

known someone wrong almost worked out

but it didn't and then later on you

thought about that person and wondered

what if yeah that's how I felt when you

turned up on my doorstep and I couldn't

marry Leslie until I found out whether

you and I were meant for each other

which at least half of us thought we

were hip it was really nice and I feel

closer to you than I did before great

but it just isn't it it I mean I feel it

don't you feel it

but it doesn't have to end this way

maybe we should consider counseling

I'm sorry Kip

[Music]

Oh goodbye

by

goodbye

[Music]

give me the watch

[Music]

I have never been so humiliated in my

life

you broke mr. Hanson's music stand Hey I

was willing to finish the act when I

came to I told you to tie your shoelaces

it's not cool to tie your shoelaces oh

but it is cool to be helped off the

stage by the school nurse I don't think

my grandchildren were born to wrap

what's the matter Kip yeah Laurie and I

are through I'm sorry what happened

she's getting married to her boyfriend

from Oxford all I was to her was just

this like last fling well at least you

got flung I had such a good feeling

about Laurie I could have sworn this was

it if every romance turned out the way

people thought they would there wouldn't

be any songs on the radio man I wasn't

off with her oh I see and so now you're

hurt and you think you've lost your one

chance for happiness

excuse me grandma but you know I think I

better be alone

Kip wait a minute

when I was about your age there was this

fellow Tom Rando his father drove a

Packard Tom did the greatest imitation

of FDR

was uncanny and I was crazy about him

and when they moved away and I was

brokenhearted you know what two years

later I met your grandfather grandma you

just don't forget the person who breaks

your heart true and through the years I

thought about Tom and I wondered if I

could have loved him and if it would

have worked out and and I think it might

have but I married Ward and we had the

most wonderful life together

Kipp is 17 years old the long race lots

of ways to get to the finish line

I hope you're right I got a pretty good

track record

[Music]

oh grandma whatever happened with you

and this Tom Rando guy I mean Jerry see

each other again well that's another

story all contestants are out to grab

the big packs but who wind up with the

most holy be a big finished find our

wheel of fortune 5:30 today up the

family feud ladies and gentlemen mr.

Matt Monroe

[Music]

together with mr. Andy Williams

two of the finest voices ever recorded

through 18 of their greatest songs

together for the first time the very

best of let Monroe Andy Williams out now

on hit pound

[Music]

Cowabunga dudes discus k*lling with your

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call double-o-double five double three

one two nine and wind it's nearly

bedtime so how about our chocolate made

with pure fresh milk not from your

microwave no that's a nightcap pure

fresh milk good night Meg mom's dreams

come true on mother's day without

exclusive nas where beautiful satin from

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Giovanni and to make a feel extra

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[Music]

Wednesday Betty plans a holiday shocking

discovery Kristen polish for tap TV hey

Dad

then Anais you never know what you might

learn hon well you got a problem right

now

Bergman's catch tv's funniest new comedy

right after hey Dad

wednesday on seven

there's loads of fun with a gross

cartoon connection next followed by mr.

Aird

tonight on beyond mm Brian Smith looks

at a golf course that's more than just

green in color dr. John Darcy peers into

the future of ultrasound medicine and

Tracey Curro discovers a new laptop

computer

beyond 2008 30 tonight

[Music]

it's guaranteed to be palate