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04x02 - First Down

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The New Leave It to Beaver". Aired: March 19, 1983 – June 4, 1989.*
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Series focuses on Wally Cleaver and his younger brother, Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver as adults and with families of their own.

04x02 - First Down

Post by bunniefuu »

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today me Chris Mac and Robin who has a

very famous pen pal very fascinating

lady

who it is by Betty today Tony Baba

remembers those beautiful songs of

yesteryear 17 special songs you are the

wind from Academy Award winners to the

unforgettable favorites

you light up my life

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17 songs for mothers of all ages from

Tony barber people rush from miles

around to grab the unbeatable bargains

in spotlights Easter sellout Caprice

continuous curtain in below half price

from 99 cents a meter continuous cafe

curtains reduced from 895 to $2.99 a

meter cushions from 495 each up to 40%

off Duchess bed spreads from $39 hurry

for days only printed flannelette 150 a

meter pledged new season fashion Tartans

down to 1295 a meter and more don't miss

spotlights unbeatable Easter sellout in

1532 the Spaniard said sail across the

seas and plundered the world of gold in

1992 the world is going to Spain to take

it back presenting the Olympics uncle

Toby's an Australian owned company

building a healthy Australia learned

this year is to keep their chins up

football team started slowly they lost

six games in a row to generally bigger

faster and stronger opponents and they

were in short humiliating losses these

kids never gave up you can't still be

hungry well unfortunately it seems that

our guest speaker is running a little

late so I'd like to take this time to

share with you some of the highlights

from my own football career

as I look out on this sea of eager young

faces I am reminded that your first year

in organized football is one you never

ever forget

I remember one hot August afternoon as a

young man in Detroit putting on the pads

for the first time coach face left right

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all right told you you got some good

moves yeah it's real tough to get past a

13 year old white girl hi guys oh hey

Dad okay listen I need a doctor's

appointment

Oliver speak in complete sentences dad I

have a math test I didn't study for

therefore I need a doctor's appointment

this parent stuff down oh thank you no

dad I need a physical to go out for

football team I'm gonna be wide receiver

just like you were hey that's great just

like the old man yeah here's the size

quickness good hands good hands bad

breath it evens out you did isn't that

terrific I can't wait to see his first

game dad how come you never got this

excited about me when I was playing

soccer I was excited for you Kip but

like most Americans I really don't give

a damn about soccer mind if I help

myself

Eddie I don't see how you can do our

remodeling for your estimate materials

alone cause more than that okay Sam so I

lo bought you it's part of the business

I'd like to talk to your bookkeeper a

bookkeeper cost money amigo I'm passing

the savings on to you can you will

listen and eat at the same time I just

want to go over the rules one more time

so everybody understands the situation

here now we would like some remodeling

done you will do the job for cost plus

ten percent payable upon completion of

each phase of the construction I want

cash yeah and I want receipts I've got a

whole shoebox full of them thick or

you'll need feel like a man prostrate

trouble bead we got a video camera

Oliver told me he's going out for the

football team and I want to tape all his

games hey that's great news hey you want

to buy a camera I know a guy that sells

um real cheap yeah the serial numbers

are scratched off but otherwise they're

perfect so one little Ally's gonna play

football huh he's not that little it's

just the way he wears his hair and he's

gonna go out for wide receiver just like

his old man and carry on the cleaver

tradition cleaver tradition what did you

ever do leave the league and riding the

fine hey come on remember the Belfort

game got his picture in the paper and

everything on the front page big deal

I've had my picture in a paper

oh yeah I remember that picture hey

that's only because a wife can't testify

against her husband

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ooh sounds good

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all right listen up the O's on this

board represent offensive player's axes

represent defensive players you

represent a group of young ladies who

would like to be players we're gonna see

about that

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come on ladies get serious about this

one

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all right ladies wind sprints let's go

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slides Bieber ladies go quick quick

quick

flood pattern the ex back is down five

yards and out the Y back wants a slant

out and the number nine receiver is on

the post except in a read write or a red

left backfield on a red right the T man

takes the five and out and the ex back

picks up the end or the linebacker

depending on which man is on the outside

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Blanche Meyer stick the man was in

bunnyville to stick him son ready but

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you catch the ball tears better hands on

snakes watch the ball into your hands

back let's go is the way to stick you

don't just separate the man from the

ball you separate him from his head okay

ladies that's enough for today

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Oh dinner's ready yo Oliver dinner's

ready

Allie what are you doing no black and

blue max I'm really black and blue

then we're purple and red you're taking

some pretty big hits huh I remember when

dad slammed the car door on your hand

imagine that happening to your face look

maybe I shouldn't talk since I didn't

play football but you know all the guys

I know who did play they all say the

same thing

practices stink the games and the

parties are terrific

yeah well I've only made it practices

and I had more fun getting that wart

burned off all right picture this it's a

cold crisp Friday night in October

cheerleaders with short skirts and

sweaters band with their shining

instruments is wailing out your fights

on the stands are full with classmates

and teachers now come on just picture it

let me have a point maybe I'll join the

band

I believe my kid brother's afraid to

lose a little blood in exchange for fame

and glory hey you actually think I'm

afraid of breaking bones getting teeth

knocked out or being stomped on by Carl

Blatz Meyer

you're right afraid of so how are you

afraid of what dad's gonna say when I

tell him I'm quitting now is a time to

send your appeal donations to the Royal

Children's Hospital Good Friday appeal

first floor 26 Flinders Street melbourne

3000 Neil Diamond's greatest hits 1966

to 1992 the ultimate Neil Diamond

Collection

[Applause]

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Neil Diamond's 37 brightest songs and a

footm a page booklet at the incredible

low price of only 29 94 double CD and

2295 double cassette at this price you

won't find a better Neil Diamond

Collection plus you have a music video

Greatest Hits live

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when you have a serious headache or

migraine headache muscular aches or back

pain take panadeine the strength of

codeine yet gentle to the stomach use

panadeine only as directed and if pain

persists see a doctor can adine tablets

available only from pharmacies strong

pain powerful panadeine

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can't believe Oliver's too tired from

pot roast too tired from my pot roast

Kip you can tell me the truth how I lost

something from my pot roast maybe it's

the way they're breeding cattle you see

that report on 60 minutes good evening

and welcome to dinner at the cleavers

take one hello i'm yoon cleaver and I'm

worried about my pot roast this is my

number one son Kip and here's the worst

Crazylegs cleaver oh I think he's tired

prep practice well you know what they

say about rough practices they make for

tough players Kip did I tell you that

I'm gonna get a tripod for this thing so

my tapes of all these games won't be

shaky like Wally's movies are ya how was

your day well it was pretty good I got a

B on my calculus test Freddie and I

wrote a new song and dead you're gonna

be a grandfather I'm not gonna be a

father okay I just told you that so it

wouldn't sound so bad when I tell you

Ali's quitting the football team

very funny Kip now what do you really

want to tell me I'm sorry dad but that's

it but he was so excited when he started

yeah well I think he's getting the

excitement kicked out of him poor kid I

mean he's really worried about how

you're gonna take this dad excuse me

look dad I know it's not my call but I

don't think he's in the mood for one of

those heavy-duty lectures no lecture I

just want to show him something

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well I guess I could make pot roast

sandwiches for lunch hey Jim how was

practice great great you want to quit

huh dad it's not really like I'm

quitting it's more like I'm escaping

with my life I thought it was bad when

Billy Benton used to beat up on me

but in football everybody wants a shot

Oliver I know it's rough but some things

can only be accomplished with hard work

I thought you might be interested in

this

whoa that's you Leave It to Beaver it's

pretty catchy you know when I played

football I got hit a lot too and I

didn't get to play very much but I stuck

it out and in the fifth game of the

season I got my big chance and then all

that sacrifice paid off oh yeah but that

was you I can't do it well that's what I

thought too but I did do it and I

learned teamwork and discipline how to

set goals and see them through lessons

that stay with you for the rest of your

life yeah but can I learn it in a golf

team Oliver if you're half the man I

think you are you'll see this thing

through and you'll be a better man

because of it but it's up to you

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[Applause]

the difference between a snake and a

lawyer's there's a snake yeah he sounds

like a real stitch hey what do you think

you're doing I'm starting your

remodeling a little early did you get

the building permits no but I did have a

fight with Curt and I gotta let off some

steam stand back you wait a minute Eddie

you can't do this without a permit if I

get a permit then I got to do it to code

if I do it to code it'll take forever

I'm passing the savings on to you let me

take you home work you out of here well

Jimmy blank tape I want to sh**t all

over the back this is kind of a dry run

for his first game oh yeah sure I heard

the little squirt quit football team

that's something about a medical

condition chickenitis that's pretty

funny Eddie coming from a guy that wore

a miniskirt to his draft physical I got

the legs for it

I get that tape Yeah right you out of

here since you talked him into staying

on the team I didn't talk him into it

I simply explained on that once you

start something you have to stay with it

he agreed

in other words you did better with him

than you did your ex-wife Eddie out of

here look I don't mean to pry is just

that I got the impression that all it

was pretty unhappy and it glad what and

never mind

no go ahead say what you're gonna say

yeah come on we're all friends here look

it's no big deal it's just that for

myself I wouldn't want to push my kid

into doing something he didn't want to

do what do you mean you push your kids

all the time to clean their room do

their own work that's a pretty stupid

analogy I don't think so so for the

record Wallace you think he's an idiot

and Theodore you think he's fooling I

mean everything takes persistence you

had to take two State Bar Exam twice

before you passed it oh come on now

you're being ridiculous all right look

if you want to live your life through

your kid go ahead here take all the

movies of all up football games you want

oh you wouldn't if you

the chance well sure I'd love to see

k*ll and play football one day but I

never force it on him I don't think you

could I mean the boys afraid to go into

the closet because of the monster he's

gonna play football he's calling your

kid a hairdresser shut up Eddie

you leave Kevin out of this the real

problem here is away you're raising your

kid are you calling me an incompetent

father sounds like it to me why can't

you admit your fault

why don't your big nose out of my

business you know you're even a bigger

when you were a kid oh yeah carry on my

ten-year-old thank god you're here mrs.

cleaver I tried to stop them but they

were just too strong for me yeah you

call me there's a rematch up what's

going on here I was just trying to point

out to Theodore they wasn't doing the

best thing for all of her by making him

play football I didn't make it that's

enough

Wally since when do we sell family

problems like this whatever beaver did I

know he truly thought it was the best

for Oliver

oh I'm sure beaver realizes that

although it's important to encourage

your child you have to sort out which

goals are yours and which poles are kids

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mommy rip my new shirt

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excuse me what I talk to about getting

my son off the 8th grade football team

we got bless - dad are you we need bless

my uh-huh no I'm not a word

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what did you want never mind

Jenni and Sam fall for the same garnish

in controls and last challenges this

mean really have a have a senior later

had tonight

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we've gotta be golden valley perfect

choice in natural juice

[Applause]

a lot of asthmatics think they've got

their asthma under control whenever they

feel an attack coming on they

automatically turn to their reliever

medicine which gives them immediate but

temporary relief but if they turn to

their doctor or pharmacist they could

learn about the new asthma management

plan and the benefits of treatment that

actually prevents an asthma and can lead

to a symptom free life wouldn't that be

a breath of fresh air

please don't dice with asthma Sophie's

been betrayed by Finn you just keep the

decklid visit by a little bit longer is

it too late to save the surf club but

you have to classic up as of when Isaac

man

I don't done all I can do Nintendo

presents over the way tonight at 7 on 7

and that same young man is now the Vice

President of the United States thank you

knew you'd enjoy hearing that story as

much as I enjoyed telling it where was I

well although we are coming off a dismal

2 & 6 record we are going to have a

great season next year because we are

gonna work twice as hard and we are

going to practice twice as long are you

with me guys guys are you with me guys

right guys don't go away there's plenty

of fun and laughter mixed with a gross

cartoon connection followed by the

fabulous mr. Aird and there's loads of

laughter tonight with hey Dad and home

improvements this week better decide she

needs a computer mouse to take her

secretarial position into the 90s

renovate on home improvement Tim decides

he's a man of the nineties and can

handle all the household duties the

power way hey dead followed by home

improvement tonight from 7:30 on 7

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