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02x20 - A Slice of Life

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The New Leave It to Beaver". Aired: March 19, 1983 – June 4, 1989.*
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Series focuses on Wally Cleaver and his younger brother, Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver as adults and with families of their own.

02x20 - A Slice of Life

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I'm not in the mood for games joined the

house didn't pass inspection

Oh Annie what did you do this time it's

not my fault Wayne that backstabbing

building inspector

what's our world coming to when a city

official will take a bribe from an

honest businessman I warned you about

cutting corners I'm telling you the guy

was nitpicking so what's a few loose

wires what am I supposed to do run and

check the blueprints every five minutes

fix everything that'll take 20,000 to

make it pass you haven't got that kind

of money anymore and he you didn't I was

saving that money for the kids education

can't you ever think about anybody

except yourself it all worked out I was

gonna make a bundle on this deal

and show up at the school reunion in a

brand-new Corvette well forgive me if I

don't feel sorry for you sure kick me

when I'm down

[Music]

14 years in the lousy construction

business I've got to show Porter can't

lost hands

I've broken heart

daddy what's wrong with troll

passport construction into the ground

just like my helicopter business and the

cat hotel but a failure

oh don't say that we'll get through this

somehow it's gonna be okay

sure that's what you said when they got

a new Darrin on bewitched

[Music]

you just put them anywhere

[Music]

and thank you for going shopping with me

under the hairdressers and to visit my

cousin Eunice in the hospital well I

thought she looked much better today

well I am guess I shouldn't keep you

more I don't have anywhere to go

everyone else I know has a productive

career a reason to be Oh Eddie snap out

of it you'll be back on your feet again

no I won't it's over I guess this will

lessen the heroic image you've always

had of me no Eddie my opinion of you

will never change

thank you so well here to finish that

game Candyland we started yesterday

don't you think Kurt's wondering where

you are

no she's busy selling oranges out on a

highway Eddie as much as I enjoy your

company

shouldn't you be out there doing

something about your future I know

you're down but old men go through

setbacks I got a life at home I can't

seem to do anything right Eddie pull

yourself together you can't just throw

in the towel oh that reminds me you need

some fresh ones up in your bathroom

think about what I said in the meantime

go down and pick up Freddy and Kip at

the pizza parlor

okay and when I get back I can help you

select a dress for your date Friday

night Eddie

having got the green silk on when I get

back that man

[Music]

so I got two sweaters 10 tapes and a

trip - what that mean sir I was just

discussing those mysterious charges on

your credit card just say goodbye to Pam

Beth's

could you find it in your heart to give

me and Kip my partner in puberty moment

suppose mildly attractive debutantes

sure well sir don't worry about me least

one of the house girls can still get

some joy out of life

[Music]

hey Mack we don't allow your kind in

here what you're not smiling I bet I

know it'll make your teeth want to see

some daylight hey bring the free brewski

for my buddy here now

any requests yeah that's all

hey everybody you know we got here um

mumfie don't be it's number four on your

placemats

okay

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Hey so does for everyone let's your

[Music]

[Music]

sorry mom

that was the spirit yeah locked in the

car hi hi hi guys what are you doing

here

Eddie Aptus here for dinner a watch as

soon as the check comes he'll remember

he left his lights on I have to run out

to the parking lot

hi everybody Eddie invited P for dinner

Oh tell you what when the check comes

I'll sit on him that way he can't run

out to the parking lot under a lot of

stress sure because you've got to spend

money to make money I'll bet he's gonna

hit us up for a loan

yeah listen everybody Eddie may be a

jerk but he's our jerk we've gotta help

him out we don't nobody else gonna be

stupid enough to dress of course to play

video games

yeah sure hey I'm pretty broken up about

mr. Haskell too

did join me five bucks they all showed

hey guys hey you're probably all

sweating your shorts off wonder why I

asked you here I would lean more towards

curious Eddie well I'm finished peeing

every jumps whipping boy I'm calling it

quits a school construction is no more

over finished kaput pizzas for everybody

honey under the circumstances I don't

think we can afford to buy everyone

dinner sure I can buy everyone dinner

why not I bought Papa Eddie's pizza

fellas this these sappy family place is

really rickety

yeah Eddie I want to be the first to

congratulate you on your new business

okay but what makes you think you know

anything about running a restaurant

what's to know it's a people business

and I'm a people person like me I like

people

hey stupid get your grubby shoes off my

furniture

[Music]

welcome to Papa Eddie's pizza palace

where every happy guy in gallons excuse

me I dropped my fork no problem there we

go

why did I say that Sh all certainly does

compliment your fine bridge work boy mom

this place is really hopin everything is

growing wonderfully and your father

didn't even ever pay off the health

inspector I'm so proud of what you're

doing

eat dirt Elmo these dips are mine

I don't split my tips who said anything

about flipping my brother with me come

on Phil we're out of here

nice work any now who are we gonna get

to replace okay it's a family restaurant

right son

turn off those tables sir menial labor

goes against everything I hold sacred

and pray to this water please with the

houses compliment son where's my pizza

I've been waiting a half hour lady you

need another pizza like coming right up

valued customer ready check on its fine

lady's pizza keep the old windbag busy

so we can stuff some food in her face I

seen those stupid old songs that's what

these jello heads come here Frank don't

wanna this is not a democracy no sing

that song you sing at Christmas when you

reach that old bat's age every day you

wake up is Christmas

[Laughter]

on the first day of Christmas oddly

enough in the restaurant business you

don't pay your suppliers the reluctant

to supply where we out of now mushroom

check the park I saw some growing there

tourists too sir poisonous thing queasy

on over

Papa Eddie

Pizza palace oh we've been waiting two

hours top sister I got problems of my

own lady here's some money go across the

street and buy yourself a bucket of

chicken and when you're finished eating

put the bucket over your head gonna

laugh I'm turning off well why don't we

look at Nick don't you want to see the

Springfield game again

good evening mrs. cleaver you said a new

outfit you're wearing oh no it I was

wondering if your eldest son had a free

moment for a distraught child come on in

Freddie so this is it

finally get to have a man-to-man talking

a legendary cleaver dead these colored

walls could talk it's not me sir I fear

the pop Eddie's pizza palace is going

down faster than my father's helicopter

service don't be it with fewer lawsuits

I'm really sorry to hear that don't put

your hanky away yet unfortunately in

order to finance this venture my father

took a second mortgage on our house and

the substantial balloon payment is now

due boy sometimes your dad really ticks

me off well he's got a problem why

doesn't he come and see me it's his

pride sir he could never admit failure

to anyone especially you she was best

friend he tells that to mr. Rutherford

too but he doesn't mean it Freddie I

know things look bad but your dad has

been in a lot of tight spots before

school business the Denver Zoo

yeah always manages to land on his feet

I'm sure you'll find his way out of this

one too not even if Lewis and Clark

would the expedition I tell you what

I'll come by and I'll talk with it I'd

appreciate it if you can make it before

Thursday sir

there's talk of a fire

[Music]

how much you wanna hurt we don't bring

in another 9500 before 4 o'clock

tomorrow we'll be sleeping in my car

don't we go I traded him for 200 pounds

of mozzarella don't worry honey I'm the

man of the house it's my job to worry

about playing your cheer job to put on a

sandwich board and get down to the mall

before the theater lets out well if it

isn't the cleaver clam and my good

friend Clarence

welcome to Papa Eddie's pizza palace

where every happy guy and gal is yeah I

wish you folks would have phoned all my

tables are reserved well I'm sure you

can squeeze it in Eddie okay for you

I'll find a spot oh but if the governor

and his party arrive earlier I'm afraid

you'll have to move

[Music]

hi Gert how are you

[Music]

shall we allow me mrs. cleaver Thank You

Eddie

[Applause]

Betty customary excuse me there's a

photographer waiting in the kitchen for

me

I'm cover boy on the next issue of pizza

news gee it's worse than I thought

well maybe things will pick up after the

governor gets here

[Music]

[Music]

you don't have to sing for us bless you

are you right order what do you suggest

well because of our long-standing

relationship the hot dogs stand down the

street just bring us a couple of pizzas

and hold the mushrooms who do you think

you are telling me how to run my

business I know when I got a rat problem

I don't need you to tell me

[Music]

works here 11 years and suddenly he's an

expert Kenny we have to talk no no we

have to sing a Buffalo gals butch come

out tonight Eddie come here to sing we

came here because we care some of us

more than others okay what are you

talking about my business is perfect

come on you're losing your shirt here

and your house is next you got a bailout

that's easy for you to say you sit there

and your suits and your cushy jobs while

I break my back trying to provide a

better life for myself and if there's

anything left over from my family Eddie

the reason it never works for you is

because you don't know how to treat

people what do you know Bucky beaver

we're only trying to help you Eddie you

can't do it on your own so let us give

you a hand yeah well I don't need your

charity unless you know something about

rodent control the door is that away

anyone for ribs

[Music]

you know Eddie

this place is going under for the same

reason that all your other businesses

failed your stupid self-centered

pigheaded greediness yeah you validate

eddie haskill I'm very disappointed in

you

[Music]

can los pizzas son not to worry seem to

gasp it turned off anyway

olan it's all she wrote go ahead you can

catch the bus with the rest of the

Judas's I'm not going anywhere

why would you want to stay here with

such a loser

I had such dreams for this place for all

of us bigger house their car was gonna

be somebody you are somebody you're my

father

yeah but your old man house you got two

nickels to rub together it doesn't

matter if you're popper or if you have

as much money as all the Johnny Carson's

why's put together I still love you

[Music]

no more excuses Freddie get in that

kitchen and don't come out every last

rat has a tombstone what do you want all

right Eddie this is it now look I don't

know why I'm doing this except that we

go back too far to let your stupid pride

destroy you your family and our

friendship now first thing in the

morning we're gonna go down to the bank

we're gonna refinance your loan so you

can get back in the construction

business where you belong okay really

go along with that absolutely

I know it's not gonna be easy to get

back on my feet I'm gonna have to work

hard and play by the rules but I'll give

it my best shot

[Music]

you know Eddie just time I think you're

really gonna make it well sounds like

you behind me how can I miss

[Music]

what a pushover hey guys don't you ever

get tired laughed at me when I was a

little kid

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Laughter]

tonight at 9:00 Eastern peace with

whales off the Falkland Islands isn't a

contrived Pakistan

The Adventures of geographic explorer

now stationed at John Wayne Kirk Douglas

go for the role in the w*r wagon next on

the superstation

[Music]

you