02x05 - Sound of Da Police

[bunniefuu]

After 15 years in prison,
waiting is easy.

It's like time slows down for me,
and I see the beauty in everything.

The only thing that's hard for
me to see the beauty in now...

...is in the person I used to be.

I've moved past that person.

I'm a father now, and a father
sets examples for his kids.

When you're a child,
you act like a child.

But when you become a man,

you get on your grown man sh*t and
put those childish ways behind you.

Aah, come on, man!

We been here four hours!

My phone died two hours ago, man.

Come on!

I'm done. I'm done.

I don't want to be here no more.

All right, you're doing great, Shahzad.

Yeah, slow and steady.

Straighten it out.
Good, good, good, good.

Hey, learn how to drive
before I beat your a*s!

I don't think he saw
that you were a kid.

He was looking right
at me when he said it.

Straighten out. Straighten out.

There you go. Perfect.

Now we're approaching a stop sign.

You know what that means, right?

It's... it's right on the sign.

Yeah. Just making sure.

What are you doing? You didn't stop.

- Yes, I did.
- No, you didn't stop.

You rolled right... You rolled
right through it at a stop sign.

I did stop!

Aw, sh**t. Pull over.

- I know. I am. I'm pulling over.
- Okay. All right.

Stay calm. Roll down your window.

Don't worry. I will handle this.

I will handle this.

Hello, Officer.

What seems to, uh, be a problem?

You know you drove through a
stop sign back there, right?

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

I'm teaching my son how to drive, so...

- Well, that's understandable.
- Thank you.

But I got to write him a ticket.

- What?! Are you kidding me?
- He broke the law.

Oh, come on, man. You know what?

Instead of standing
here, harassing my son,

you should be somewhere else
actually stopping a real crime.

All right, bud, you need to calm down.
I am doing my job here, okay?

Okay, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah.

Can we start over, please?

- Okay.
- I'm sorry, Officer.

I know that a law was broken.

I'm just asking you to take into account

that no one was harmed, and this, uh...

this is actually a teachable moment.

No, I get that.

Someone came along and spoiled
my father/son bonding moment,

I'd probably get pretty pissed off, too.

Why don't we call it even,

and I'll let you off
with a warning, right?

Thank you. Thank you, Officer.

- Yeah, and I'm sorry for yelling.
- No worries. No worries.

Stressful teaching your son
how to drive, by the way.

- Yeah.
- I had to do it myself a couple times.

No kidding. Well, thank you.

- I appreciate it.
- All right.

- Thank you, Officer!
- All right!

Wow!

Way to get out of a ticket, Dad.

Yeah, well, you know what?

Sometimes in life, when you're right,

you got to put your foot down.

When you're wrong, you cry and
claim you had to rush to a bathroom.

Yeah, I've seen Mom use that one before.

- Yeah. Both are effective.
- Yeah.

By medieval times, things
had actually gotten worse.

- Hey!
- Hi. How did it go?

He is getting better.

Only one person spit on the
car today, so that's good.

Yeah, I mean, Tray's gonna be impressed
when he takes me out tomorrow.

What?! Uhh-uhh, he's not
showing you how to drive.

That man hasn't driven in 15 years.

No, he just got his license back
so he could drive the food truck.

I didn't think you'd mind.

I thought we were gonna have discussions

before we made major decisions.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right.

By the way, what was that,
uh... that $500 charge

that I saw online for Louis Vuitton.

- I can't remember.
- You know what?

A driving lesson ain't
never hurt nobody.

At least he is trying.

I didn't know he could reach the pedals.

Burn.

That was a good burn.

That was a very good burn. Nice.

Go apologize, though.
That was kind of mean.

- What?
- You heard me.

Go apologize. He's sensitive.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Hey, did we settle on a time
with the Carrolls tomorrow?

Oh, I forgot.

I thought we would just,
like, hang out tomorrow.

Babe, we promised, all
right? We can't cancel on 'em.

They're gonna think we
have a problem with them.

I do!

I mean, they are so annoying.

They're always like,
"Can we go to breakfast?

Can we go to lunch? Can we have dinner?

Come have coffee. Have
wine in our backyard."

I don't want to see they backyard.
I mean, they are so not interesting.

I get it, but you're the
one who says we need more

couple friends, and we got
to put ourselves out there.

Oh, you're right.

But can we reschedule?

No, we rescheduled three times.

They live down the block.
That would look bad.

It would look very bad.

All right, well, I'm getting drunk.

Shahzad, this is where your
grandpa first taught me how to drive.

By jumping in the car
with a handful of cash

and a g*nsh*t wound, something
about, "Drive, n*gga! Drive!"

That's horrible.

Yeah, but I might be
embellishing a little bit.

You know what I'm saying?

We was poor as sh*t.
That happened on the bus.

Man, you really lived "The Wire."

Yeah, but I'm here with you, my
son, teaching you how to drive.

First thing I got to teach you

is how to relax behind the wheel.

For real, man. You
need to loosen up, okay?

You're over there white-knuckling it.

You know, matter of fact,
holler at shorty right here.

- Right here?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yo, what up?

Oh, word. All I said was hi.

Stop sign. Slow down.

Okay, now pull over right
here and let me teach you

how to double park.

Oh, sh*t.

Come on, son. Yo, straighten up.

- Put your hands up.
- My hands is up, man.

Be cool, Bobby!

- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?

License and registration.

- Shahzad.
- What?

Stop with the sudden movements, man.

- You trying to get us k*lled?
- Here you go, Officer.

I stopped at the stop
sign. I know I did.

I counted to three Mississippi.

Don't you dare say the word
Mississippi with this white cop.

You'll give him ideas.

What are you talking about?!

I'm your father, man. Listen to me.

- Here you go.
- Thank you, Officer.

And here's your ticket.

Hold on, a ticket.
This must be a mistake.

A ticket, off... Wait a minute.

Are you serious?

Don't you have anything better to do?

'Cause while you're
standing here harassing us,

you're wasting our
hard-earned tax dollars.

Nobody in here pays taxes, brother.

- Sir, you need to calm down.
- I am calm!

Look, Officer, I understand
that you think I broke the law,

- but I didn't.
- Mnh-mnh.

And I need you to take into account

that nobody's harmed here,
and this is a teachable moment.

I'm gonna ask you to put
your hands on the dashboard.

- Oh, come on!
- Aw, man!

That's how they got
me last time, cuzzo.

I'd like to see 'em try to plant
something on me this time.

Shay, you should have
seen how this boy was

yelling at the police.

Wait. You think he got
the wrong idea from me?

Oh, no, Josh, you good, okay?

Shay's the black one.

You know you're supposed to tell him

about all of this stuff
in the street, Shannon.

What else did you skip teaching my son?

How to do the Wop? Oprah
Winfrey? Grape soda?

Wait a minute. Does Shahzad
even know he's black?

Shahzad knows he's black, okay?

I just didn't have the talk
with him about how

to deal with the police.

What?! Then fine. Then I'mma do it.

Oh, no, you are not
having the talk with him.

That's what you're not doing.

But I'm the most qualified!

Just because you sold crack
does not make you qualified.

You know what? Me and Josh
will go up there with you,

and we'll all have this
conversation together.

Come on.

Come on!

All police are racists.
Even police dogs are racists.

Really, Jay, the dogs?

If they could hold a match,

the first thing they
would do is burn a cross.

Shahzad, it's not about
cops being racists.

It's about how you talk to that cop.

Talked? Shay, he yelled at him.

You can't do that.

There are three phrases
you can say to the police...

"No sir," "Yes, sir," and
"It was already like that

when I got here, sir."

Same thing you say to
your prom date's father.

I was only doing what dad did.

This dude is white, okay?

You got to be at least
Steph Curry light-skinned

to pull that off.

- How is that fair?
- Fair?

I got 15 years for
selling 2 ounces of crack

when there's white boys
out here getting probation

for stealing airplanes. Why?!

Racism.

Tray, can we not?

I don't want Shahzad growing
up to hate the police.

You threw a brick
through a cop car window!

The real Shay who sweared to God

that government is trying
to put A*DS into Pop Tarts.

You know what? I think we're
getting a little off track.

Sure, there are some r*cist cops,

but a few bad apples
doesn't make the bunch bad.

This coming from a white dude.

No, he's right. All cops are not bad.

And that's coming from a black
chick that married a white dude.

And that's coming from
a black ex-crack dealer.

Touch?.

Coming from a black person who
has a cousin named "Touch?."

Shahzad, bottom line is this.

At the end of the day, you
could do everything right,

and a cop still could k*ll
you and get away with it.

It's not about racism all the
time, like Tray likes to think.

But it does happen to black people

more than it happens to anyone else.

But... not to black
people like us, right?

- What?!
- Shahzad!

What'd you just say?

There's the problem right there, Shay.

The boy don't think
it could happen to him.

Let me tell you something, man.

You don't hear me say
nothing, you better hear this.

The world don't care what kind
of black person you are, okay?

In the wrong place, wrong
time, you just black.

You a'ight, Tray? You seem down.

I was thinking about my son.

I had to have the police
talk with him today.

Oh, I remember that. I had
the talk with my daughter.

What'd you say to her?

I told her, first and foremost,

treat every cop with
respect, no matter what.

- Mm-hmm.
- Word.

Then a SWAT team busted in
and shot me in the stomach,

so I don't remember anything after that.

Hopefully, it was enough
to fill in the blanks.

That's why I'm teaching my little man

to avoid police at all
costs. It's that bad now.

Say word. When I was a kid, my
only worries was getting A*DS

- or get hooked on crack.
- Simpler times.

I know I'm white and all, but
I'm well aware of my privilege.

sh**t, I did my first robbery
with a grenade launcher,

and all they gave me was probation.

- What?
- Mm.

The real problem that
happened with Shahzad,

I don't think he knows what it is
to be a black male in America.

What we have here is

a classic case of Theo
Huxtable Syndrome... THS.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about your boy being trapped

in a black bubble of privilege.
He's got those glasses.

Probably goes to a real
nice private school.

- Best in the city.
- I bet he lives in a brownstone

that's got all those jazz musicians

just coming in day and
night, playing they music.

Yeah, well, Shay don't
invite me over at night.

- But I can only assume so.
- Precisely.

So, your son has no concept
of real black struggle,

and he need to know, being
a young brother out here,

ain't nothing and no place safe, okay?

Matter of fact, he need
to come down to the school

and meet the kids that I do
the Scared Straight program with

over at Andrew Johnson High.

The John? I used to go there, man.

I wish I could go back
and drop out again.

Well, Tray, the school's
still pretty messed up.

Like, the kids don't have nothing.

Saw a young boy the other day
using a pizza box as a locker.

See, that's it.

- Shahzad needs a change of environment.
- Mm-hmm.

He needs to go where the
real struggle is happening.

Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

He needs to spend a day at the John.

- John! -John!
- Oh, big John.

Sound like a bathroom, right?

Toilet. It is one.

- Hey! -Hi!
- Hey! Hi, guys.

How are you? Good to see you.

Good to see you. Mwah!

It's good to see you.

Hi.

Great to see you. You look great.

It's been so crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, you guys look great.

- Thank you.
- Hope you guys are hungry.

- We are.
- Starving.

Come and sit down.

Yeah, exciting.

So, what's good here?

So, then John's big ol'
foot steps on the hem,

and the dress completely unravels.

Oh, my gosh.

See, that's why you
can't wear sample dresses.

I didn't know.

She hid in the bathroom the whole time.

Oh. Oh, hey, this is us. This is us.

- All right.
- Guys, so great to see you.

Mm. Good to see you, man.

- Yes, let's do it again.
- We have to.

We got to do this again soon, guys.

- Absolutely. So fun.
- I loved that.

Yes. All righty.

- See you later.
- Okay. Bye!

Wasn't that fun?

Yeah, it was a good time.

Man, I can't believe I
was trying to avoid them.

- I'm so sorry.
- You notice anything odd

- about Nikki's hellos and goodbyes?
- Like what?

- That Nikki was a mouth kisser?
- A what?

Yeah. She kissed me on the mouth.

Maybe it was an
accident, like, you know,

when you try to kiss
someone on the cheek,

and then they turn
left, and you turn right,

and then your lips accidentally touch.

Yeah, I thought about
that, but she did it twice.

Twice?

Yeah, she did it once when we got there,

and then she did it again when we left.

No, kiss you on the
lips once, shame on her.

Kiss you on the lips twice,
now you like kissing the b*tch.

b*tch? You were just talking about her

like you guys were
gonna be best friends.

Well, that was before I knew

she was trying to kiss
my husband in the mouth.

I didn't even think it means anything.

I'm just overthinking it right now.

No. No, where I come from,

when a woman tries to kiss you
on the lips, it means something.

Okay, well, in this case,

I think it means hello
and goodbye. That's all.

Well, I feel like she feel
every time she see you,

she get to kiss you on the lips.

Now, you gonna need to nip
this in the bud right away.

Or she gonna end up
with some bald spots.

You feel me?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

See? That's all you had to do.

See? Just that easy.

I see.

Okay, everybody.

Okay, everybody, settle!

God damn it, settle.

I'd like to introduce to
you a former alumni here

at Andrew Johnson High.

He later went on to sell crack,

and he went to jail for 15 years,

and he strongly denies doing
any g*y stuff in the pen, okay?

Ladies and gentlemen, young adults,

put your hands together
right now for Tray Barker.

He also owns his own business. Holla.

Thanks a lot for that
terrible-a*s introduction.

But like he said, I went here, too,

so I understand what
y'all go through every day.

Rats in the hallway, 50 kids
in a class, raggedy a*s books.

I failed history 'cause my
book only had 12 pages in it.

I thought the Pilgrims shot Kennedy.

But I'm here 'cause I want my
son to survive in this world.

And his rich, private school
isn't preparing him for that.

What are you talking about?

Everybody here would love to
go some rich, private school.

We hate it here.

That's what the struggle
prepares you for... life.

Yeah, but that don't get you a
good job or to a good college.

Um, thank you.

And how is not having
he in our classrooms

gonna help me pass the ACTs?

Struggle builds character.

If I wanted to build character,

I eat the meatloaf off y'all cafeteria.

Like, this is B.S.

Don't nobody cares about us here.

Why would they? The person the
school is named after is r*cist.

- Andrew Johnson?
- Yeah, that's true.

All them old-a*s
presidents were racists.

But this is a school full
of black and brown kids.

You wouldn't make a bunch of
Jewish kids go to Hitler High.

Hell, no.

Y'all walk past a statue of a man

who didn't even want
y'all to have an education.

Isn't that like what you
were telling me about earlier?

Isn't that the same as
the police mistreating us?

I never thought of
it like that, you know?

You're right. Touch?.

Yeah? What?

At my school, when they
wouldn't adopt Singapore math,

we resisted.

We refused to show work on our test.

What I'm saying is
y'all need to fight back.

Yo, he's right.

We should tear that statue
of Andrew Johnson down.

Whoa! Listen...

Tearing down a statue at a school

is a good way to get your first felony.

What if they just marched
down to the principal's office?

Just to let... Just to let
'em know how y'all feel?

Much better.

He's right. Come on, guys.

Let's go to Ms. Turner's office

and give her a piece of our mind.

See? Letting him mix with real kids

is gonna bust that
rich, privileged bubble.

This is good.

Shahzad, you okay?

Sir, is there a problem?

Yeah, this is my son!

We cool. We cool, man.

I understand protocol, man.

The Rothman School?

- The one in Park Slope?
- Yes, sir.

Hey, I'm letting this one
go. He's not one of 'em.

The hell he ain't.

Really? This was his idea.

Go.

Get out of here.

Yo, you really gonna leave?

Thank you, Officer. Have a nice day.

You okay?

You all right?

Why'd you let him go?

Yo, what? Really?

That was a punk-a*s move you did.

I don't feel good about it.

It's not fair that they let me go.

On the other hand, when I
seen you sitting there cuffed,

and there was nothing I could do,

but your privilege could, and it did it.

You said my privilege
is part of the problem.

Yeah, I know, but maybe
I was quick to diss it.

Listen, Shahzad.

Growing up, I didn't have any
of the stuff that you had, okay?

I ended up exactly where my mother said

I would go... to prison.

But you different.

Is your privilege fair? No.

But neither is your
below-average height,

and your bat-like vision.

Use every advantage that you have.

Just try to figure out how
to pull people up with you

when you do use it, okay?

I'm gonna be there to
help you. I promise.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Ugh. I...

I can't breathe.

Don't worry. I had asthma, too.

What do you think about food tonight?

- What are you in the mood for?
- Ooh, I'd love that Indian place.

Josh!

Hey!

You off somewhere?

Yeah. Yes.

Yeah.

Aren't you gonna come down?

Yeah.

Yeah. Of course.

- Hi.
- Great to see ya.

Yeah, you, too.

- How you doing, man?
- Good.

Good to see you.

- Nice to see you.
- My turn. Hi.

I'm just gonna... come here.

- No. Ow.
- Ow.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, just hit... I'm fine.

- Okay?
- I'm okay. It's...

Honestly, um, it's just
that Shannon is kind of...

you know, she... she doesn't want me

kissing you hello or goodbye anymore.

Sorry. Or anyone for that matter.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with it,

but it's not really her thing.

It's not something that she is...

- What's going on?
- Hi.

Josh was just telling
us you have a problem

with how friendly I can
be when I greet people.

Oh, he put that on me, huh?

We're so sorry if we offended you.

The whole kissing thing
did throw me for a loop.

I just don't know people that do that.

I totally understand.
Sometimes I forget that.

I grew up all over Europe,

and I picked up on certain things,

you know, like kissing on
the lips, nude sunbathing.

Well, just so you know.

I don't know people that
pull they t*tties out

in public, either.

Noted.

- Sorry if I made it awkward earlier.
- Water under the bridge.

Yeah, I know it didn't mean anything.

Anyway, we should get out of your hair.

- All right, well.
- Well, take care.

- All right. You, too.
- Shake it out?

Shake it out. Shake it out.

Business. Deal.

- Let me take this guy.
- See you later, man.

Take care. Nice to see you.

- Good to see you.
- But that meant something.

- See you later. All righty.
- Okay.

- Going for a walk!
- Enjoy that ride!

- Going for a walk.
- Okay.

That was nice, huh?