01x19 - Milkin' It

[bunniefuu]

[boom, crash, boom]

Pim, that movie is so loud,

I lobbed off my topiary's tail.

Good. Maybe a few more explosions

and it'll look like a normal shrub.

What are you watching, anyway?

Galacta Girl?

Wrong.

Galacta Girl 2: Cyborg's Revenge.

[music plays and boom effect]

[music and effects stop]



Hey, it's my favorite flick
from the year 2121.

We have a pretty extensive library

of other movies you can watch
on your cinespecs.

Nice, peaceful movies.

Ooh, like my summer in the country?

Don't you just love that part

where Hannah is dumped by her boyfriend

the guitarist

right after he writes her

that really romantic song?

Doesn't that make you sad?

No. It makes me gag.

Ok, fine,

but I know that somewhere in there

buried deep inside is a
little piece of Pim

that is emotional and sensitive,

a Pim that cares.

I care.

I care how many androids

Galacta Girl's gonna take out!

[music and boom effects]

♪ Meet a boy named Phil ♪

♪ And his family ♪

♪ On vacation from
The 22nd century ♪

♪ Got a rented time machine,
And they're on their way ♪

♪ To a time way, way, way
Back in the day ♪

-♪ So now it's Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Keeping it together
Just as best as he can ♪

♪ Phil ♪

-♪ Phil ♪
-♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ 22nd century man ♪

♪ On a holiday through history ♪

♪ But the final destination
was a mystery ♪

♪ But something
On the time machine had blown ♪

♪ So they ended up
Right here in our time zone ♪

-♪ So now he's Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ Never knew in history
Just where he would land ♪

-♪ Phil ♪
-♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

♪ Phil ♪

♪ Phil of the future ♪

♪ He's a 22nd century man ♪

"You are beautiful, just
the way you are," he said,

as he took her hand in his.

"I don't care if you have a weird rashy
thing on your face.

I see only perfection. I see only love."

[applause]

[blows nose loudly]

-Bravo! Bravo!
-[cow bell jingles]

Lana, you have outdone yourself

with that short story.

Now, let's hear from Pim.

You said what now?

Let's hear your story, Pim.

Oh, don't play coy with me, Pim.

Now come up, tell your story.

Uh...

My story...

I grew up in a small town,

a mom, a dad,

one brother, one annoying brother.

Oh, Pim, you make me laugh.

Ha ha ha ha!

I know a clever girl like you

must have written an
absolutely engaging piece.

Please... [deep voice] Share.

Really, uh, maybe someone else
would like to go first.

Oh, look, little Pim is shy.

Shy, my eye!

I'm sorry, I need to stop.

These fluorescent lights
are really bugging my eyes.

They're totally throwing me off.

May I?

Ohh...

Now I can see--
I mean, think more clearly.

F.Y.I., I've won this invention expo

3 years in a row.

Lookin' to 4-peat.

Portable changing room?

Yep. I mean, think about it.

You shop in the mall,
you've got daddy's gold card,

and you find the cutest outfit,

but all the changing rooms are full,

and what do you do?

You pull out your portable changing room.

[buzzer]

[clothes upzip and zip]

[buzzer]

Voila.

So cool.

Thank you. I feel like a magician.

Students, everyone put the finishing
touches on your inventions

and I'll be back here
this evening for the judging,

and remember, the winner gets his or her

picture on the cover
of the Pickford Times,

so some of you might want
to think about a haircut.

Hector?

Until then,

your projects are safe and sound here.

We've even beefed up security.

Officer Cobb is gonna
keep an eye on things.

Ah-firmative!

Nicely said, Cobb.

Carry on.

-Just for giggles...Diffy...
-[gulps]

What'd you come up with?

May in introduce the first voice-activated

pudding dispenser?

[fanfare]

Pudding, please.

Ohh, whoopty stinkin' doo!

Got yourself some pudding.

So how's it powered?

Batteries? Solar?

Guess again, my curious, little friend.

I will tell you, though,

it runs on the liquid from this container.

Mmm...

Yeah, that's good fuel.

Tch tch.

You can't drink fuel.

Look, Diffy, you may have beaten me

on the last math test,

but I own the expo.

Own.

That's right.

Roger Nutchie is the king!

I am the king!

Is it me or is this Roger guy

weirdly competitive?

I'd say just plain weird.

There's no way he's beating our invention.

"The Puddinator."

That's right.

Oh! I win!

Thank you! Thank you.

No, way, Phil! It was wide!

Keely, that was in by a mile!

Ok, tiebreaker.

Hah! Come on, Keely, say it. Say it.

Phil Diffy is a tennis master
of the universe,

now and in whatever
century he may live in,

but remember,

I've been tennis master 8 times.

You've only been it 7 times.

Keely, Keely, Keely.

Don't you triple Keely me!

Oh!

[makes lightsaber sound effect]

-2 out of 3?
-Duh?

So Galacta Girl
is lying there in the rubble

and she looks up and sees
all these armed androids

looming over her.

All she can think is, "I'm gonna die,"

but then she remembers what her
grandfather always told her:

"Never give up, never give in."

She has no ammunition left,

so she uses her body as a weapon.

She flips in the air and--boom!

One man down.

Then she does a fancy karate kick into
another cyborg and--bam!

He falls like a domino,

knocking out 2 of his men
in the process,

and just when she thought
she'd conquered all,

the master Android steps up behind her...

Run, Galacta Girl, run!

She whips around and jabs
her steel-toed boot

into his one area of weakness:
His big toe.

And he tumbles down, defeated.

[gasps]

Galacta Girl has made

the world safe again.

The end.

Ohh, h* h* h*.

That was...Muwah!

Magnifique!

Pim, you rule.

[bell rings]

-Pim...
-[tires screech]

You have such an original voice.

You're so incredibly creative.

Thanks. Give me an "A", Gotta go. See ya.

Wait.

I was just wondering if
you had any more stories.

Yeah, lots of 'em.

Good! A few of my students
are going up against

Miss O'Leary's creative writing class.

With you on board,

Miss O'Leary'll be crawling out of here

with her tail between her legs.

If I help, what do I get out of it?

Extra credit and a letter
of recommendation

if you're ever looking for a job.

And I get to move my desk away

from Myron Fibble who smells like bologna.

-Deal.
-Deal.

[whip crack]

[beeping]

Hey, there he is!

You must be pretty excited about
the invention expo.

So what'd you and Keely end up designing?

Um, a voice-activated pudding dispenser.

Ohh, that's good.

That's good. I like that.

Powered by a milk engine.

[pipe organ plays]

What did you say?

All the other kids' inventions

were powered by gas or batteries,

so I figured it would be cool

to make a little milk engine.

You don't look so good. You
feeling all right?

Phil, the reason why the other kids

aren't using a milk engine

is because they won't be invented

for another 100 years!

Really?

Yes. It was invented in the year 2075

by a Amirago Pelosi after the earth
ran out of oil.

He amazed the world
by pouring low fat milk

into a scooter.

So this is bad.

Phil, you gotta get it back.

You gotta destroy it or something.

Dad, it's not possible.

The school's locked. They have a security
guy down there.

Son, the discovery will
lead to a lot of attention.

They'll want to see your designs,

which you don't have.

The media will be at our doorstep.

People will find out we're from the
future. Get it?

Our lives are gonna be ruined.

Ruined?

We have to move.

Move? You mean leave Pickford?

Exactly.

But I like it-- you like it here.

We all-- we all like it here.

Phil, when we moved here,
we knew it was only temporary.

Granted I didn't think we'd be out of here
so soon, but so be it.

Let's start packin'.

So I got your message.

Where's your racket?

My dad says that our puddinator project

would draw a lot of attention

and that it'll expose that
we're from the future.

My family has to move.

B-But this is crazy.

We had all these plans.

We were gonna go fishing this summer,

and I hate fishing.

The only reason I was gonna go was...

Because I thought
it might be fun with you.

So when are you leaving?

Tonight.

T-Tonight?

I hate this. It's not fair.

It seems like kids should have a say

on whether they move or not.

Tell me about it.

So y-you want to play
one last game of tennis?

Keely, you know I do.

I--I can't.

I have to help pack.

Bye, Keel.

Sorry!

Bye, Phil.

This can't be happening.
It's so unfair.

[grunts]

See, dad wants us to just up
and move to Tucson.

Ohh!

I know. It's painful, isn't it?

[speaks gibberish]

You couldn't have said it better, Curtis.

This whole thing is just one
big pain in the backside.

What's gonna happen 6 months from now
when something else goes wrong?

Are we just gonna keep running?

Ohh! Curtis feel pain.

No want to move.

I know, I feel you.

I just-- what can I do?

Ohh! Curtis say to Phil, take pain away!

Take the pain away?

Yeah. [sobs]

Take the pain away?

You're saying take matters
into my own hands.

You're saying if I don't want to move,

I should do something about it.

I--I--I should create my own destiny.

Curtis, sometimes, you are so wise.

[breathes deeply]

[cracks]

Pim, I got an interesting call

from your English teacher Ms. Winston.

I think you have some explaining to do.

She told me how you wowed the class

with your creative writing assignment.

It was no big deal.

I'd say it was a galactical big deal.

Pim, you can't go around using

the plots of movies and passing
them off as your own ideas.

It's plagiarizing.

Well, technically,
I came up with the idea first.

I mean, Galacta Girl's
screenwriter won't even be born

for another 100 years.

It was worth a shot.

Ms. Winston said you'll be sharing

another one of your stories?

So I expect you'll inform Ms. Winston

how you blatantly plagiarized a story

that hasn't been written yet.

And then you will read the original one
you wrote to her.

Sure, mom, I never dream
of cheating again.

It was a one-time thing.

Good.

Halt!

You Cobb?

Ah-firmative. Who are you?

I'm Duffy...

Rupert Duffy.

Head office said you needed some backup.

Which one of those
idiots sent you down here?

Short one.

I knew it!

Anyway, why don't you grab a candy bar

and walk the grounds?

I'll cover the floor. Tch.

Good work, Cobby.

Not gonna happen, Duffy!

I'm responsible for the safety

of these wonderful gadgets,

so I don't care if Mayor Percy himself

walked through these doors.

Nobody's gettin' in here!

Copy that.

Unit 2, this is ranger.

The bologna is still in the sandwich.

I repeat, the bologna
is still in the sandwich.

Toast all bread.

Wheat or white?

Wheat.

Definitely wheat.

Roger, ranger.

What was that all about?

Ordering lunch.

Fr-eeze!

Please, you've got to help.

My limousine broke down and
I don't know what to do.

Can you help fix it?

Sorry, I'm not leavin'.

[Southern accent] Pipe down, listen up.

I'm special Agent Dawkins from the bureau.

A-Are you from Washington?

You wish I was from Washington.

I'm here to take a look at some
of your inventions,

one in particulars.

He's here for the milk engine.

My dad said this would happen.

All right, which one of you
is senior officer here?

Dervin Cobb, Jr. at your service.

Talk to me.

I like your look, Cobb.

Ever think about becoming a detective?

Every waking moment.

It's a rigorous test.

How many push-ups can you do?

Boy kind or girl kind?

Oh, that's rich. That is rich. [laughs]

"You are even more
beautiful than I imagined."

Next up, we have
my star pupil Pim Diffy,

or as I like to call her,

Little Miss Shakespeare.

[laughs]

Now remember, Pim,

the pen is mightier than the sword,

so get out there
and win this battle for me...

And the team.

[applause]

Yeah, I'm going to read
a totally original story

I wrote all by myself

called Race for Time: Zombie Invasion,

and again, these fluorescent
lights are giving my eyes

total bugginess.
It's ok. I got it covered.

Literally.

[beep]

We come up on a desolate building.

It's dark, eerie.

Creepy music plays.

There's this totally ominous feeling

we just can't put our finger on.

Something bad is going to happen...

Something very bad.

[beeps and crackles]

No!

Uh-uh, sorry about that.

[beep]

So then, we're inside the building.

We see a man running down the corridor.

What's he running to

or from?

Then he jumps out the window

to his death below!

Then he miraculously gets to his feet

and jumps back into
the building I--I think?

And then he gets really, really dizzy.

And then, uh,

the sun comes out

and the birds sing

and they all live happily ever after.

The end.

[whirring]

And that, ladies and gentlemen,

is the extreme eraser.

[whirring]

Roger.

Let me take you on a trip

to the local mall

where we meet a shopper.

Oh. Wow.

There are so many cute things
in this store.

Oh...and look at the line
for the changing room.

I'm sure glad I brought my...
Portable changing room.

[buzz]

-[all] Ooh!
-[zip, zip]

[all] Ah!

Cuuute!

[applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

It came to me in a vision.

A first-place vision.

You're up, Diffy.

Ok, we come to our final project,

the voice-activated pudding dispenser

powered by a milk engine. A milk engine?

Ok. Will the inventors
care to demonstrate?

Pudding, please.

[powering up]

[creaking and shaking]

A milk engine is insanity.

Such a thing could never work.

Well...

I think we've got ourselves a winner.

Officer Cobb!

h* h*.

I am the king!

Milk engine.

Well, looks like old Rupert Duffy's
not moving after all.

I'm really glad, Phil.

Me, too.

So... tennis tomorrow?

Oh, absolutely. You're goin' down.

In your tennis dreams.

Ah, Keely, Keely, Keely...

What are you two so happy about?

Hey, congrats on winning.

You have no idea what this loss
means to me.

Something really weird's
going on with you, Diffy.

I beat you, and you're all happity-do.

I don't get it.

But I will.

I'm watchin' you.

I'm watchin' you.

I just want to say in my defense

at the very last moment,

I came up with my own original short story

right there on the spot.

Let me guess. "Something, something,
something...The end."

Hey, that's not fair.

There was at least 2 more somethings
in my story.

Well, I've come up with a punishment that
I think is fair and just.

Clipping Curtis' toenails?

A no less than 50-page synopsis

of a work of cinematic genius.

Put them on.

[clicking, buzzing]

My summer in the country trilogy!

Aah!

Aah!

[screaming]