02x05 - America's Sweethearts

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Jonas LA...

I talked to my director

about who should play my love interest
in Forever April,

and she wants a Joe from Jonas type!

We are going to be
working together a lot.

It is gonna be so intense!

-Ben.
-I'm Stella.

He just asked me out!

-He's cute.
-I know.

-Ben's a really nice guy.
-Thank you.

-Hi, Mona.
-Security!

No, that's...
That's not--

-Get him off my set.
-No, hey...

I'm OK.
Hey, we're fine.

-Bye-bye.
-Wait, what happened?

Dude, that's got "Kevin" on it.

Uh, that's mine.

Mm-hmm. I've got to leave quick
before Mona gets here.

-Your director hates me.
-Why? Did you take her juice, too?

-No, she just hates him.
-So, why's she coming over here?

Well, she's doing a photo sh**t
with Vanessa and I:

"Hanging With the Stars
of Forever April."

Yeah, so call me when the Wicked Witch
leaves and goes back home.

Mona, hi!

Where's the valet?
I don't park my own car.

Miss Klein, I... I know we got off
on the wrong foot the other day.

-Who are you?
-I'm Kevin, Joe's brother.

You actually kicked me off
your set last week.

Mmm, then why am I even looking at you?

Oh, I live here.

Good, then you should know
where to park it.

Oh, and while you're at it,
you ding my car, I ding your head.

-Show Joe.
-Hey.

Photo sh**t.
Let's go make some magic.

Let's do it.

Hey, Kev, while you're at it,
clean my room.

-♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ I was sitting at home ♪

♪ Watching TV all alone ♪

♪ So tired of routines ♪

♪ The day goes on and on ♪

♪ So I pick up the phone ♪

♪ Call everyone I know ♪

♪ I say there's gonna be a party ♪

♪ Hit the music, here we go, yeah ♪

♪ You gotta live to party
Bust your move ♪

♪ Everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ Tell the DJ to play our song ♪

♪ Are you ready to rock and roll? ♪

♪ Gotta live to party
Bust your move ♪

♪ Everybody's in the groove ♪

♪ Live to ♪

♪ Party! ♪

So, I was at this
organic Tibetan place last night,

and Fergie sent over
a plate of curry lentils, so delish.

That's so funny, because this morning
my brother totally took away my waffle.

-Really? Why?
-Mmm, because he wanted to.

Well, I'm an only child,
so I don't understand.

I love it!
My two stars bonding offscreen.

This is the magic that
we're gonna capture today.

Just the two of us being ourselves?

Exactly. You know, the fans want to know
who the stars really are.

These pictures are going to be everywhere.

By the time Forever April comes out,
America is gonna be so sick of you.

-That's a good thing, right?
-Yes, you want people to be sick of you,

so sick they can't live without you.
Wardrobe!

Sorry. Just making some
last-minute alterations.

Uh-huh.

-Where'd they dig you up from?
-I'm Stella, Joe's friend.

-I style Jonas.
-Great.

But I didn't pick out Joe's shirt...
unless you like it?

I don't.
Ditch it.

You know, you've got some
great stuff here, Blondie.

I'm gonna call you "Blondie."
See you soon.

All right, you, makeup;
you, walk and talk.

I'll see you in five.

Very good.
So, listen, how are you at kissing?

Wow, Mona, I'm flattered,
but I don't think that's a good idea.

No, not me, you dope.
Vanessa.

Look, I'm watching the two of you,
and I'm seeing sparks.

So, here's what I'm thinking,
I start sh**ting,

you swoop in,
you take her into your arms,

and you give her a surprise
kiss right on the moosh.

-"Moosh" is lips, right?
- You broke the code.

-So, what do you say?
-I say, yeah, that'd be awesome.

Great! I see you as Hollywood's
next it couple: Joe and Vanessa.

Or wait, better yet: "Jonessa."

Or "Vanessoe."

I liked yours better.

Can you give these to Mona?
I gotta go before she remembers who I am.

Dude, I think you're missing
the big picture.

-You want to be a director, right?
-Yeah.

And Mona is one of
the biggest directors out there.

-True.
-Now, instead of running away from her,

why don't you get her to like you?
Maybe she can help you.

But does it have to be her?

Or you could wait for
the next world-famous director

to walk through the door.

-Is it tiring always being right?
-No.

Joe, I'm having the best time
on this sh**t.

I mean, can you believe Mona Klein
just gave me a nickname?

Blondie!

She also gave me and Vanessa
a nickname: Jonessa.

She's making you split one?
That's cheap.

Excuse me. Oh, whatever.
-OK.

I should probably give you
the heads up on this, you know,

since you and I were almost "Joella."

Well, now that you're dating Ben,
you're kind of like "Benella," right?

So, do you want to stop putting names
together and just tell me what's going on?

Mona wants me to kiss Vanessa
today during the sh**t.

Oh.

Wow. And... how do you feel about that?

Good.

And how does Vanessa feel?

Normal.

Well, that's 'cause
she doesn't know it's coming.

Hmm, interesting.

All right, tell me what I did wrong,
because I know that's where this is going.

No, it's just... it sounds like you're
about to give Vanessa a surprise kiss.

Yeah, on the moosh.
It's Hollywood for "lips."

Yeah, well, a kiss is never just a kiss.

It always means something to a girl.

I mean, do you even like her?

Yeah, I kinda got a thing for her.

Does she like you?

I mean, I just kind of assumed she did.

Well, I mean, don't you want to ask
before you surprise kiss her?

I wasn't really thinking about it
until you made me feel crazy.

No, I just... I just don't want you
to embarrass yourself.

You talk to her.

What? No.
No, Joe, I don't even know her, so...

Come on, you speak girl.

And I don't want to
get shot down... again.

Oh. Oh, the guilt card.
Wow.

Come on, as a friend.

-And the friend card.
-And the please card. Please?

-Fine.
-Yes.

-All right.
-Ha-ha.

Miss Klein, I got your keys here.

And may I say,
your taste in cars in impeccable.

I remember you. You're that chatterbox
that I kicked off my set.

Yes, about that...
I was way out of line.

I'm over it. And I'm famished.
Do me a favor.

Boil me an egg, throw it out
and then pour the water into a glass.

Why?

You know, my last assistant
would never have asked that question.

-Lousy quitter.
-Wait, your assistant quit?

Yeah, this morning.
Well, actually I fired him,

but I'm saying that he quit
because he's my nephew.

OK. Actually, let's make a deal.
If I help you, then you'll help me.

Hardball, I'm impressed. Talk to me.

I want you to tell me everything
there is to know about being a director.

Ah, you want to know the secrets.

-There's a secret?
-Calm down, Curly.

I'm calling you "Curly" now.

Here's the deal:
you survive a day as my assistant,

and I will tell you
everything you need to know.

-Sweet.
-Lucky for you,

there's only one more thing that I need.

See this earring here?
It's lonely.

-You want me to talk to it?
-No, I don't need you to talk to it.

I need you to find the other one.

I lost it the other day
during my power walk.

OK, where'd you lose it?

-The beach.
-Can you narrow that down?

-Malibu.
-A little bit more?

Do I have to do everything for you?

I was sunbathing at lifeguard station #2.
You'll find it there.

-How do you know if it's still even there?
-Go.

Gone.

So, what do you think?

I love it.
I knew you'd be good at this.

Really? Why?

Because pretty girls
know how to dress pretty girls.

-You think I'm pretty?
-Oh, definitely.

-I like you.
-You are so superficial.

Guilty!

Here, try this.

So, you and Joe?
What's the dealio?

Oh, my gosh,
that is such a good question.

I mean, he is so cute,
but impossible to read.

My spiritual advisor told me
to keep my heart open to love,

but I don't know if that's because of Joe,
or I should rescue a puppy.

-You know?
-Mm-hmm.

Yeah, let me... let me rephrase.

Um... do you have feelings for Joe?

Yes.
Absolutely, yes.

So if he were to, say,
kiss you during the photo sh**t...

Oh, my gosh, is he going to?

Tell him to.
I want him to.

Are you sure you don't want to
think about that for just, like, a second?

No. Ahh!
Joe's gonna kiss me?

Do you have a mint?

-Nick, I need your help.
-It's called a metal detector.

This is no time for your dry humor.

OK? I have to find an earring in Malibu
so I can become a director.

I told you to make Mona like you,
and as usual,

you've taken this to a very weird place.

That's right. Now it's your job
to help me through it.

-Fine.
-All right.

So, when Mona tells me
the secret of directing,

I'm gonna put you in my movie.

Kevin, every day feels like
I'm in your movie.

Oh, wait, where's your metal detector?

Why would I have a metal detector?

You're right.
I'll go get Joe's.

There you are.
Come, come, come.

The light is perfect.
You're looking marvelous.

Watch your step.

OK, right here.
Right about here. Perfect. OK.

Can I just talk to Stella
for one second, please?

Why?
You look fantastic.

-Did you talk to Stella?
-Uh-huh.

Joe, do your thing.

What... was that?

I'll be with you in five, OK?

Joe? Excuse me.

I thought I was clear,
the moosh is the lips.

What you kissed was the nose.
If I wanted the nose,

I would have said schnozz
or maybe even honker.

-But I asked for the moosh.
-I'm sorry.

I need more boiled-egg water.

Gino, take five!
Muscles, I'll see you in a second.

-You gave me a thumbs down, right?
-Mm-hm.

-Vanessa's upset, right?
-Yes.

Can you explain why?

I'll be right back.

-Vanessa?
- I'm not here!

It's Stella, your pretty friend.

-Can we talk?
-OK.

Hi.

Don't look at me.
I get really puffy when I cry.

OK.

Um, listen, what happened out there,

you... you really shouldn't
take it personally.

Because I like Joe
and he obviously isn't into me?

Yeah, nothing personal about that.

It's not... it's not you.
You're gorgeous.

How would you know?
You're not even looking at me.

Still gorgeous.

Stella, you're friends with Joe.

Just tell me, why doesn't he like me?

Vanessa, it's... it's complicated.

It's not...
it's not that he doesn't like you.

Then what is it?

Have you ever done something,

and you know it's wrong
but you can't help yourself?

And then the minute you do it,
you immediately regret it,

and you want to take it back,
but you can't?

And this is about me how?

I'm gonna fix this.

-You'll see.
-Thank you.

Hey, there, buddy.

-How's it going?
-You know, I don't get it.

If Vanessa doesn't like me,
then why'd she get so upset?

Oh, you know us girls, we're kooky.

Well, thanks for trying.
You're a good friend.

Oh, man...

What?

Vanessa actually does like you... a lot.

Then what was this all about?

I may have turned my thumb the wrong way.

How do you turn your thumb the wrong way?

It was hard because I didn't want to
watch you kiss her.

What?

We're not dating
and you're dating somebody else.

-Yeah, Ben. He's nice.
-He's really nice.

I know, but in the moment, I just...
I couldn't let it happen.

I'm sorry.

It was selfish, and childish,
and immature, and wrong and...

You can stop me at any time.

No, keep going.

I'm done.

So, what you're saying is
you still like me.

-No, I was confused.
-Because you still like me.

-It was a brief lapse in judgment.
-A brief lapse of liking me.

Liking you less.

I guess we both can agree
that I'm a tough habit to break.

Oh! Oh, there it is. You did it.
Habit broken. Thank you.

I think you and Vanessa
should give it a shot.

You really think so?

I won't tell Mona
where we found it if you don't.

There it is!
Get it!

-Whoo! Let's go.
-Let's go.

Vanessa.

I owe you an apology.

You turned me down, Joe.
Whatever, moment gone. I get it.

Not really.
It's never happened to me before.

Find your center.

Vanessa, I like you.

-You do?
-Yeah.

The world makes sense again.

But here's the thing:
let's go on a date.

No Mona, no cameras,
just you and me, totally real.

Wow.

That sounds really nice.

I don't get a whole lot
of real in my life.

So what do you say?
Would you like to go to dinner with me?

I'd love to.

And as long as we're keeping it real,

um, I say my favorite food
is organic Tibetan,

but I'm dying for a cheeseburger.

Ah, it's "Jonessa" time.
Let's do this!

Now, come on.
And smooch.

Come on, pucker up.
Moosh your mooshes.

-Cheeseburger?
-Totally.

Run.

What are you doing?
Hey, get back here.

Actors.

♪ Mic check, can you hear me? ♪

♪ Gotta know if I'm coming in clearly ♪

♪ Static through the speakers ♪

♪ In a second
Your heart will be fearless ♪

♪ Taken for granted ♪

♪ Right now you can't stand it ♪

♪ Breakdown, it's a showdown ♪

♪ Got to scream it out loud ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm not faking ♪

♪ Girl, I'm just saying ♪

♪ Hey, you
Hey, you ♪

♪ Now we're into something new ♪

♪ Hey, you
Hey, you ♪

♪ Now you're feeling like I do ♪

♪ Come on, shout it ♪

♪ Let's leave the past behind us ♪

♪ Come on, shout it out ♪

♪ You doubted me, and you trusted me ♪

♪ And I made you see
How to find your relief ♪

♪ I don't know what to say
Get on your way ♪

♪ I gotta hear you scream ♪

♪ Hey, you
Hey, you ♪

♪ Now we're into something new ♪

♪ Hey, you
Hey, you ♪

♪ Now you're feeling like I do ♪

♪ Come on, shout it ♪

♪ Let's leave the past behind us ♪

♪ Come on, shout it out ♪

♪ Hey, you ♪

So, I think I have something
that belongs to you.

-Oh?
-Should be here.

OK, uh, it's here somewhere.

There it is.

Oh, wow, not bad, Curly.

Uh, no, no.
We made a deal.

You said that you'd tell me
the secret of being a director.

OK, well, here it is:

-just do it.
-Really?

Yeah, you just get your camera,
throw a few of your friends in front of it

-and make your first movie.
-That's it?

Sweetie, if you wait for someone
to give you permission,

you're gonna be waiting
a really long time.

I like it though, just go out and do it.

Now can I have my earring back, please?

-Yes, here you go.
-Thanks, Curly.

No, thank you, Mona.

Enough with the feelings.
Now get out of here.

-Mona, I live here.
-Right.

All right, then go find
the yucklehead who parked my car.

-Thank you. Go.
-Sure.

Mr. Hug-snuggle?

Mr. Hug-snuggle?

Have you seen Mr. Hug-snuggle?

Why, has he gone missing?

Yes, I can't find my harmless,
adorable teddy bear anywhere.

Don't worry about it.
I'm sure he'll turn up.

Do you feel like something
or someone is watching us?

You're just letting
your imagination run wild.

Have you guys seen the morning paper?

No. What's the headline?

"Stuffed animals are disappearing
all over the country."

Do you think Mr. Hug-snuggle
is mixed up in that?

Are you serious?
Stuffed animals coming to life?

-I don't believe you, Mom.

Mom?

All that's out here is a cell phone.

It's our number.

It's coming from inside the house.

It hung up.

Look.

- There's stuffing!

Help me!

You're safe now.

-Ah! Watch out!

We'll never forget you, Nick!

Mr. Hug-snuggle!
Mr. Hug-snuggle!

That's not the same bear
you used to know!

So, guys, what do you think?

I mean, who'd ever think
that a cute little bear would attack--

Next on Jonas LA...

Right now, we're working on
throwing a movie punch.

Oh, is that when you almost hit somebody,
but you really don't?

-Yeah, you want me to do it with you?
-Yeah.

-Guys, don't.

We agreed to keep us a secret.

Nick, do you have any idea how hard it is
for a girl not to tell her best friend

-about her super-secret boyfriend?
-No.

Who are you?

I'm the one telling you
that the track is whack.

Oh, so you've met my niece, Kiara.

-Oh, that's who you are.
-She's staying.

-And you're watching her.
-Oh, it's a secret.

I love secrets.
But I'm bad at keeping them.