01x06 - Homecoming

[bunniefuu]

- Jesus Christ! Do you have to do that?
- It's my car! So just shut up and drive!

WASHINGTON D.C.


There's someone out there!

It's one of them!

- I don't think so...
- It's one of them!

Jesus Christ!

- Are you alright?
- I hit my...

Alright! It's alright.

I'm sorry.

I think I knew him once.

Where are we?

God! Jesus.
I think I broke a rib...

Suck it up!
We got to get out of here.

Honk the horn.
Maybe they'll give us a ride.

David?

David, Jesus.
Pop the trunk.

God damn it!

There's a semi-automatic in there.

What's the point, Jane?

The point is we're not giving up!

And we're definitely not
giving up to a bunch of cripples,

stinkers!

Maggot infested...

crazy, zombie dissidents!

Come and get it!

Come on, you pussies!

- What are we gonna do?
- We're gonna take their g*dd*mn truck...

Grab that g*n, you chicken sh*t!

See the trick.
Is to aim low!

Take their legs out!

You can't k*ll them, but
you can slow 'em up!

Oh .. get up you pansies!

- Bring it on!
- I'm sorry, Jane!

I'm truly sorry.

Oh! Who cares!
Shut up and sh**t!

It's my fault...

The whole damn thing...

It's all my fault.

*** Jesus!

I'm sorry, Jane.

I never should have opened my mouth.

I remember the night
the world went to hell.

It was the night I first met Jane.

We're back on "Marty Clark Live"
with our special guest

constitutional scholar, Jane Cleaver,

whose new book is:

"Subversion: How the Radical Left
took over cable news."

And a good friend, David Murch

who is a former
presidential speech writer,

and high priced campaign consultant.
Welcome, David.

With the elections just
three weeks away,

the President is in
full campaign mode.

Just this week in Boulder,
several protesters were arrested ,

when they took off their coats
to reveal anti-w*r T-Shirts.

David?

There has been several
of these incidents.

The protesters say they
have a right to free speech.

Does the President have a policy

of suppressing dissent?

Well, look Marty. The President
has a 1st Amendment right

to take his case to the American
people without being shuttered down.

But to answer your question,
no there is no policy.

The Secret Service is there
to protect the President.

Now they gonna err
on the side of caution.

Jane looks like she's going to
jump out from her chair!

Marty, please!
If you look at these protesters,

you see men with breasts
and women with armpit hair.

They are ugly, stupid, coarse.

They have nothing to offer
but hate for this country.

And they know the only
way they could ever get on TV,

is to defecate in public on our
President and our troops...

- Jane, please!
- And you, Marty.

You are their collaborator.

You put these repulsive,
horrible people on TV

which is all that they
want to begin with, so...

Thanks!
Mission accomplished.

We go now live to Altoona, Pennsylvania

and we're being joined
by Mrs. Janet Hofstadter.

Welcome, Mrs. Hofstadter.

You are what used to be
called the "Gold Star Mum"

That's right, Marty.

And your son, Corporal Gordon
Hofstadter was k*lled in action.

July 8th of this year.

And you were detained
by the Secret Service,

for heckling the President.
What exactly did you say to him?

I stood up and I asked him:

- Why did my son die?
- "Why did my son die?"

And he didn't answer me.

And I asked again.

And again...

And then I was grabbed by
the arms and taken out.

Why did you say that to the President?

Because no one else will.

They told us there was
a threat to America.

But the weapons of mass
destruction weren't there.

Their nuclear program wasn't there,
the threat wasn't there.

And here is the President surrounded
by his supporters and his yes men,

and they are talking
happy talk about his w*r.

I have the right, Mr. Clark.

I have the right to ask him:
Why did my son die?

Thank you. David?
What do you say about all that?

First of all, I'd say Mrs. Hofstadter,

I honour you, for your sacrifice.

I had an older brother

who gave his life in Vietnam.

And, believe me.

If I had one wish...

If I had... one wish...

I would wish...

for your son to come back.

Because I know he would tell us all...

how important this struggle is.

This is important struggle for all, for
the safety and security of all Americans,

and... and how proud he is
to have served his country.

Frankly, sir, I don't think you
know my son well enough to...

Thank you, Mrs. Hofstadter.
Thank you so much.

We'll be back after these messages.

Thank you.

Bring it on.

There is no way you gonna
tell me that wasn't planned.

- It wasn't I had planned!
- Ohh. Come on...

I mean, I've been hearing
about you forever.

You're supposed to be
the smartest guy in DC.

Now look. The smartest guy
in DC just f*cked up, okay!

I just...

I blanked out... on live TV.

- Never had that happened before.
- Well, it was great!

You were like... crying.

It was like... so...

sincere!

See, that's the thing.

You have this... credibility.

I mean, you and I are
basically saying the same sh*t,

but people treat me like
I'm some sort of circus act.

Do you believe that stuff you say?

Yes!

Well, I mean...

You know.

I mean, come on!
It's words... It's a game.

You say whatever it takes to win.

Well, maybe that's your problem.

Okay.

So you believe what you say.

You believed a soldier would
come back and be like:

"Oh! By the way, thanks
for getting me k*lled!"

No! I don't believe it.

A couple of tricks I can teach you.

That waiter keeps winking at you.

Oh, I think I knew him once.

- Ah, you were saying...
- Okay, here's the thing.

You want the audience
to see you thinking.

Right, you got a question.

You know already know what you gotta
say... some dumb a*s talking point but...

You think about it...

you drag it out, you go...

Well...

Marty...

that is really interesting.

Thinking.

Okay.

- Ask me a question.
- Okay...

Well, Jane.

Tell me:

What color panties are
you wearing tonight?

Well... Marty...

I'm not wearing any panties!

See? I'm fun.

I'm so much fun...

All the... men in this town are
such emasculated pussies.

They're all afraid of me.

And why is that?

Maybe they just don't like you.

No, seriously!

Maybe, it's the force
of your intellect.

Now, there's not much
I can do about that.

You know why I like you?

I've known you over an hour and you
haven't made one single joke about my name.

That's all I get from these bozos!

Meet Cleaver June Cleaver...
beaver cleaver.

Well... that would just be rude.

I hardly know you.

We can fix that.

Then hurry!

What do you have in mind?

Well...

Marty...

Sorry honey.
I got to take that.

No...

It's Pothis...
That's my Pothis tone!

Oh Jesus... Can I listen?

- Murch here.
- David?

- Catch you at a bad time?
- No! No! Not at all.

That's not the President!
That's Kurt Rand.

- It's the same thing.
- David?

Sorry, Kurt... I just...
I have someone here.

Some one here.

It's not Jane Cleaver, is it?

No!

Well, tell her hi if it is.

Hey, we caught you today on the
Clark show. Pothis was watching.

Oh! I don't know what happened there, Kurt.
I must have had some kind of brain clot.

No listen, he loved it!
He was moved by it!

- Moved by it!
- Hell yes. That's why I'm calling you.

That bit about the wish and the soldier
coming back. That's great stuff, man.

He wants to use it
in a some speech.

Jesus!
Be my guest...

Yeah, but here's the thing, okay?

He said it to you. You just went on
the Clark show and repeated it. Okay?

Yeah, well of course. We all know
what a silver tongue debater the...

- Something wrong?
- No! Everything's fine.

Good work.
You tell Jannie bye-bye, okay?

- Bye, Kurt!
- Bye, Jannie!

Oh, I'm so gonna make you scream.

"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."

Henry Kissinger said that.

In DC, even second hand
power has its compensations.

Oh my God! He is good!

They just adore him.

- What is it? What has he got?
- It's a gift.

He's not stupid.

He has a way of making stupid people
feel like they are just as smart as he is.

Murch.
I think this is it.

I suffer when I see
those numbers every day.

I see them before you do. And until
I'm spent. I tell 'em all the time.

If I'm gonna have one wish,

one big wish. I'd bring those
brave young Americans back.

Because if they could come back,

I think I'll know
what they would say.

He was wrong about that.

Dead wrong.

The first incident took place
less than 48 hours later,

when a regular night flight
arrived at Dover Air Force Base,

carrying a brand new batch
of caskets from the w*r.

Copy that.

We've got another
civilian taking pictures.

- Newspaper guys again?
- I don't know.

Main thing is security camera.

Copy.

Seen a figure running
around back of the hangar.

Could be inside by now.

Sir?

You are trespassing on a
United States military installation.

I suggest you make
yourself known, sir.

Sir?

There are no cameras allowed here.

It is against the policy of the
US military to allow cameras...

Stop!

Stop!

Stop there!

Stop!
Please stop there!

Look! I know you're alive, we'll
get medical help. Please stop!

f*ck!

Freeze!

At ease, soldier.

Peggy Pepper's daughter came and
took us out to the Wounded Steer.

Have you tried that buffet?

I just love those little
croutons they have.

Sorry ma.
I gotta take this.

Murch.

What?

Yeah, I'm just dying to do a show again
after he called me a "d*ck" on the air.

Hey look, can I call you back?
I'm with my mom.

His hip never really healed up
after that truck accident he had.

Slow down...

You drive so darn fast.

Sorry mom.

Murch.

He what?

Go fire his a*s.
You don't need me to tell you that.

Hey listen. Can I call you back?
I'm with my mother.

Paddy Runihan's boy came
by to see her last night.

He stood outside the window.

In the moonlight, she said.

So she went out on the patio.

He just wanted to tell her goodbye.

Paddy Runihan?

Isn't she the one...

Wasn't her son k*lled in the w*r?

Yes, that's him.

I thought it was odd when she told me.

Well, what did she offer? Med?

Oh, I don't know, dear.

Maybe I just got the details wrong.

He liked chocolates.

Well, you're making some
little squirrel very happy!

Oh, go on...

- You can answer it...
- No, no, no. It's just my...

A woman I've been seeing.
On and off.

Have I heard about this one?

Actually it's Jane Cleaver.

From TV?

Oh, be careful, hon.

She is what we used to call a "skank".

Hey Mom. Wait here a minute.

Hey?

Buddy?

Hey buddy?
What the hell are you doing?

Mom! Get in the car!

Lock the door.

What happened?

- Those men. They look like they...
- Look, mom! I don't know what they...

I don't know who they were okay,
but we're safe now, so you can relax.

Murch.

David, we got us a little
situation developing here.

If I tell you what it is,
you're gonna think I'm crazy!

Yeah! Try me!

All vets?

Veterans of the current
engagement, to be precise.

Remember that little speech of
yours about a soldier coming back?

Yeah.

That one is no longer
in heavy rotation.

BIOMEDICAL
LABORATORY 3

Hope you haven't just need this.

- Oh, Jesus!
- Yeah, I told you.

David, I'd like you to meet
P.F.C. Bobby Earl Bieller.

So say "hi" Pecker Wood!

Oh, sorry. He can't say "hi".
No vocal chords.

He could wave though,
if he had any manners.

Private Bieller here died
on the operating table,

after which he put up a hell of a fuss.

How many of these...

these cases are there?

About 2 dozen, that we know about.

Words are getting around, that
the papers are afraid to touch it

cause it is damn weird.

They are on the streets, Kurt.

There's no... hushing this one up.

I figure we have a day or two.

After that, we need a good, solid lie.

But what is happening?

How can a dead soldier get up?

Don't know, buddy...
That's why we got this lab.

The thing is:

We can't k*ll 'em!
And God knows we've tried!

Here. You wanna to try?

No thanks.

sh**t 'em, they keep on coming. Cut them
up in pieces, the pieces keep coming.

We amputated his leg and
you know what it did?

Damn thing kicked the
doctor, square in the a*s.

Not to be premature, but...

I'm thinking supernatural.

He feels it, Kurt.

You see?

- He feels pain!
- Ahh hell. He volunteered.

It's something to think about, huh?

A soldier who can't be k*lled.

Takes a lickin' and keeps on ticking...

I mean, should all recruitment
undergo in the sewer.

If we could keep the same dodgy
eyes out in the b*ttlefield forever...

- That's like the answer to our prayer!
- Kurt?

Why do you think they came back?

- What do you suppose they want?
- Couldn't be the disability benefit.

A day later, when
the story broke wide,

we found out what they wanted.

And coincidentally,
we found out how to k*ll them.

Excuse me, sir.

Robert?

Robert Bunton?

What are you here?
What do want, Robert?

EARLY VOTING HERE

You want to vote?

Do you have your ID?

Do you need instructions?
You know how to use the punch card?

Then you can go right over there.

It's good to see you, Robert!

- Where is he?
- Over there.

He's voting.

He's dead.

He's really dead.

A miracle, Marty.

Nothing less than a pure miracle.
It is the hand of God!

Reaching down to touch our nation,
our blessed President,

our brave warriors
and their grieving families.

He is the Resurrection and the Life.

Amen!

In addition to the
San Francisco incident,

we now have confirmed reports
of resurrected soldiers in Boston,

Detroit, the Florida pan handle and

several cases here in DC, Jane.

Well, Marty. Far be it for me to
offend members of any religion,

but if I am an Islamic fascist right
now, I have to take this as an omen.

I mean, talk about our God
is bigger than your God.

So you're saying that all of this is
just a stamp of heavenly approval.

Well, I'm sure our atheist liberal friends
are looking for a different way to spin it.

But if you remember what our
President said a couple of weeks ago,

how he wished that our
fallen soldiers could come back

and tell us how they felt about the
sacrifice they made in this great cause.

Well, that's exactly
what we're seeing now.

Not even death will stop
the march of freedom.

It's a Murch line if I ever heard one.

Which raises another point.
The Marine in San Francisco,

Sergeant Robert Bunton.

We had reports that he went to
an early voter registration centre,

and cast a vote for president.

Now Jane?
Is this legal?

Well, Marty...

The laws vary by state.

There are two questions here:

One. Are the soldiers legally dead?

Is "undead" the same as "dead"?

And two. This man is a hero
who died fighting for this country.

Who's gonna tell him,
he doesn't have the right to vote?

David?

You have transformed that girl.

She's... She's so damn credible!

Just give her a
couple of talking points.

What do you say, Kathy?

Think we could put
this gal in office? Huh?

Something small at first...
Maybe the Senate.

Come on. Can you see her in a
debate, with him feeding her lines?

And those legs of hers...
in a little leather mini.

Yeah, like you care...

If you want to talk about
President, Marty,

you should call those dead people
when voting this time again.

- Yeah, sure...
- We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

Gentlemen.
I think we created a monster.

Smile, bad boy.
You've done good.

We don't know what we're
messing with here, Kurt.

This could jump right up
and bite us on the a*s.

Well it jumped and it bit.

What's is problem?

The dead wanted to vote, alright.
They just didn't want to vote for us.

I saw one of those things today.

I was in Caffeine City and
I looked out window and it was like...

Oh God!
There it was.

I mean, it was like guys in uniform,
but only with like, some skin.

I think he knew me.

Murch.

What?

Hey, my segment's
after the commercial!

Not now.
We got a talker.

Have you ever been in a w*r, sir?

You've seen men get k*lled?

No. No, I had a medical ah...

I've seen men get k*lled, sir.

For a lie.

Women and children k*lled...
for a lie.

I seen my friends...

k*lled for a lie.

I was k*lled for a lie.

What is it you want, Sergeant?

We want one thing.

We want to vote.

We'll vote for anyone...
who ends this evil w*r.

b*stard!

It's as if the bowels
of hell had opened

and then disgorge these
demons, in our midst.

These Satanic spawned devils
that walk among us.

The end is near.
It is at hand and...

we must beg God's forgiveness
for our sins and immorality

that has brought this plague
upon us... once a great nation.

I believe we're looking at
shots here of Baltimore

but as you know, the government
today declared that all zombie soldiers

are a public health threat
pending further tests.

So, how about it, Jane?

Do these deceased veterans have
rights, and are they being violated?

The fact is that, Marty, they
studied these creatures and

they have no higher brain function.

Their intelligence levels
basically that of a liberal.

Do you let them vote?

As I've always said.
You stand by the law

The law says deceased voters are supposed
to be routinely purged from the voting rolls.

- But you said last week...
- On top of which, Marty,

these things, they are turn coats!

They betrayed their country, and their
government and their fellow soldiers.

And they're giving aid
and comfort to the enemy.

Now... as I said.

They're brain dead, maybe
they're not responsible...

- Maybe they won't go to Hell.
- Verily they shall!

So?

What's the solution?

Monsters, traitors.
There's one solution for both!

Mobs, tortures... pitchforks!

The face of this w*r
had always been ugly.

We'd always try to
hide it from the public.

But then...

They were among us!
These dead young men.

These monsters.

Demanding only that we look at that face,
and acknowledge what we had done.

Son!

You shouldn't be out here in this rain.

This will keep you warm for a bit.

You want something to eat?

We have some coffee.

We know what you've...

We want you to know that
somebody does appreciate you.

We have a boy.

Our Jim.

He's over there, too.

We don't complain... We know
that someone called to duty.

But pray every night

that he will... come back home.

Alive and...

That's Beulla.

That's his dog.

It's okay.

It's alright.

It's alright.

What's your name, son?

Michael.

Michael.

And that's a nice name.

Michael?

I'm Irene.

Irene Baker.

Are you from around here, Michael?

God dammit!
Why don't they do something?

Eat a brain or bite somebody's
throat out or something.

God dammit! At least we'd have
an excuse to round them up.

We are rounding them up, Kurt.

You grab one and another one pops up!

We don't have the manpower for this.
The whole damn National Guard is overseas!

Meanwhile...


off the cliff, like wildly damn coyote.

And you know why?

Because we got these undead creeps
at every damn mall and bus-stop

looking all shot up and pitiful.

They do make quite an impression.

Why don't we just ignore them?

Say what?

Just treat them like regular vets.

Welcome home.

Our heroic sons.

Let them do what they want to.

Let them sit around.

- Let them vote.
- What are you now?

- A zombie rights advocate?
- Why not?

How many of them are there?

What is it?
Couple of hundred now?

- They ought to max out soon.
- Not necessarily.

We got quite a few dead ones,
we're keeping off the books.

Even so, a few hundred votes is not
going to swing a national election.

Florida?

Point withdrawn.

It's not just their damn votes. It's
all the live people they're getting to.

Tell me something.

The military vote is ours. Always.

How come we can't find one
dead soldier on our side?

If they died for a cause
they believed in,

they're at peace.

They've got no reason to come back.

- How did you know that?
- Cause I started it all.

Remember?

If I had one wish...

I wish he had that wish back.

If that's true,

the majority of dead soldiers support
the w*r. They haven't come back.

Tough sell, Kurt.

Look at all the soldiers that support
our President by staying dead!

Then give me an idea!

The three of us sold a w*r, dammit.

We sold a w*r based on nothing
but horse sh*t and elbow grease.

We are the best in the g*dd*mn game!

It's not a g*dd*mn game, Kurt!

Why do you think this is happening?

Because we sold a w*r based on nothing
but this horse sh*t and elbow grease.

And those poor
m*therf*ckers died for it.

Excuse me. There is no
defeatist rhetoric in this room.

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to get drunk...

within an inch of my life. Then I'm
gonna sleep for 8 hours straight,

while you go find a soldier
who is proud to have given his life

for horse sh*t and elbow grease!

Hold it!

You don't have to piss me off.

But you're a g*dd*mn genius!

- Which one is he?
- We'll find him.

We keep records.

Cheer up, weepy! You're
finally gonna get your wish.

This blows, Kurt!

See, I blame Mrs. Janet
Hofstadter for all this.

Going on TV, mouthing off,
making you cry like that...

She's fair game now.

And that's her boy right there.
Corporal Gordon Hofstadter.

How's that for symbolic value?

How do you like to be on
the "Marty Clark Show"?

Can you talk, Corporal?

Then, may I ask, why don't you?

Hurts...

We have a prepared statement.

If it would be more convenient, we could
have someone read it for you on the show

and you could simply
nod your head yes.

Would you like to read it?

So...

You don't support the w*r.
You don't support the President.

That would be too much to ask.

Why did you go to w*r, Corporal?

To protect your homeland, your family.

To protect your loved ones, right?

Those are noble reasons.

- What's the mom's number?
- Speed dial 1.

Rand here. Put Mrs. Hofstadter
on the line if you would.

Your mother would like to have
a little chat with you, Gordon.

Gordon, honey?
Is it you?

Yeah, ma.

I love you, honey.

They said I can only have
a second to speak to you but...

there's a paper
they want you to sign...

It might be better
if you sign it, honey.

But you should do
what your conscience...

It might be best
if you sign it, Gordon.

There's so much I want to say but...

I'm proud of you, honey.
I love you...

I love you, Ma.

I...

Did your mom give you
some good advice, Gordon?

Stop it!
Stop!

You can let Mrs. Hofstadter go now.

I don't want to bother her
any more, understand?

No, this is David Murch.

Mr. Rand...

Mr. Rand can't come to the phone now.

I don't understand.

Why me?

Why did I have to be the...

the focus of all of this?

It was so awful about Kurt.

Just awful.

- I guess Kathy wasn't doing his job.
- Yeah, I guess.

Who's wasn't doing her job?

Why do you ask?

David, I want to be an insider.

I want to have real power
like you.

I'm learning so much from you.
It's amazing what you did to me.

But Jane. You're funny.
You're photogenic.

- You're more useful in front of the camera.
- Yeah, but I won't be 35 forever.

You're 41!

David?
I wanna be your protégé.

I want you to groom me.

- You want me to kiss the dead rummy?
- No!

Is something wrong?

Jane!

Kurt Rand was like
a big brother to me.

I watched him die today.

I watched him die.

I had never seen...

anyone...

Jesus!
What is it with you?

It's like there's an answer to all of
this, I know... I know it's right there,

right in front of me,
but I can't... see

and I can't...
put my hand on it.

Of course I didn't have long to wait,
before the answer puts its hand on me.

But when you put this formerly
deceased veterans in internment camps

aren't you questioning their
patriotism, David? I mean...

Aren't you really saying
that they are a menace...

Of course not! Of course not.
Marty...

Formerly deceased veterans
are in medical quarantine.

Now I'm pleased to say
they've been... cleared.

We hope to have them processed
and back on the streets by Monday.

So they can vote on Tuesday?

No one in this administration
would contest the right

of these brave men and women to vote.

And I resent that implication, Marty.
My brother gave his life in Vietnam.

So you deny the allegations.

Allegations?

All over the web today, liberal websites.
Here's one...

"Liberum Arbitrium.com".
It's a typical blog.

One question for administration
mouthpiece David Murch

who trades on his respect for veterans.

If his brother did died in Vietnam,

why isn't his name
on the Memorial Wall?

Well, that's absurd. It is.

Where exactly, David?

Well, I never...

found it.

There are 40 some thousand names...

Marty ! This...
This is a baseless cheap smear.

This is despicable!

According to the documents produced
on the website here on the screen,

Lance Corporal Phillip Murch
was honorably discharged

and shipped home to Silver Spring,
Maryland... in March of 1971.

You are among friends here, David.
Here's your chance to respond.

Alright.

Before we go to break,
condolences once again

to the family of presidential
adviser Kurt Rand...

dead at 52 of a massive heart attack.
We'll be right back.

We thought it was best
for you, sweetheart.

When Phillip came home, he was...

He was different.

I don't know if he got into
those drugs or what, but...

It wasn't Phillip anymore.

Mom said to help her
carry the groceries.

Squirt, you can't...
frighten people like that.

Okay.

Okay, we're gonna help too,
okay, squirt?

You would never have hurt Phillip.

You worshipped him, David.

You had no way of knowing.

Halt?
Friend or foe?

Woh, squirt. That's not funny.
Put the g*n down, okay?

- Friend or Foe?
- Put the g*n down.

- Friend or Foe?
- Look! This is not a game. Put it down!

You are dead. Get up!
Get up!

You'll see, mummy... I'm going
to wish, I'm going to wish,

for Phillip to come
back and be okay,

and he'll tell you we
were just playing a game.

- I know, baby.
- That will be my wish for every day.

Till he comes back and be okay.

You're a good boy, David.

It was just a game.
It was just a game.

We hope you'd forget.

If we didn't talk about it.

And eventually you did.

- Son...
- Yeah...

Do you think Phillip might come back?

Paddy Runihan's boy came back!

I would like to see him one more time.

Before...

I don't know, mum.

I don't know.

I had forgotten, alright.

Mainly I forgot that you don't
treat other people's lives as a game.

Now I had over a thousand
Phillips on my conscience.

But they voted.
I saw to that.

I went into Portusen. I gave him
the sales pitch of my life.

And on election day,
by God, they voted.

And when they'd made their point,

and their voices were heard,

they were finally at peace.

** exit polls indicate that
the incumbent is trailing

in these two key states and
obviously he needs those states.

We will keep our eye on that one.
That's gonna be tight all night long.

You know that this is
going to turn out to be

in history, the year of...

We're down 6 in Ohio!

How about Florida?

Oh this is bad.
Bad enough.

- You played it wrong, David!
- I did what was right.

You put us in a damn bad spot.
And now I have to make the call.

Do you really have to make the call?

What should I do?

Let the other side
steal this election?

Steal it?

Jesus, Kathy!
They won it.

No, they haven't.
Not yet.

Because we count the votes.

We do what is best
for America, David.

If the voters disagree...
That's their problem.

It is a miracle come back!

Unbelievable!
This is the story, friends:

With 89% of the precincts reporting,

the President has
now moved ahead in Ohio

and Florida is now too close to call.

The big story, the one
you want to look at is,

what happened to those
early exit polls that indicated

that the President was
going down to defeat?

Didn't happen.

Our course our news media
have gotten their story wrong

once or twice in the past as well.

It was almost 4 am before
they finally called it.

Our side won.

Imagine that.

Six weeks in Bora-Bora.

That's what we need.
That will fix us right up.

I can't, David.

I have to ramp up. Kathy
wants me on the team.

Really!

- At her old job?
- No, you dumbshit!

Yours!

She told me you were packing it in.

But you can still be my...

mentor and spiritual adviser.

Jane!

You're so good to me!

Kathy? What is it?
What's happening?

I'm about to catch a helicopter.

And I advise you to get the f*ck out
of town till we figure out what to do.

They're all coming back.

They're coming out of Arlington.
All of them!

World w*r II, Korea, Vietnam...

We said we'd count their
votes, but we didn't.

We lied!

What were they going to do?
Well...

They did what soldiers always do.

They called for reinforcements.

Come and get it you pansies.
Bring it on!

I'm sorry, Jane.

I never should have opened my mouth.

Oh sh*t!

- You're the one that called us back.
- That's right.

You said we'd have a voice.

- But you betrayed us.
- That's right.

I got it coming. Go on, I'm not
afraid. Do what you gonna do.

- Help us!
- Help you?

Join us.

We're looking for a few good men.

Hi Squirt!

Friend or foe?

Phillip?

Long time no see.

You did your best, little brother.

I'd be proud to fight beside you.

The government continues in exile.

But Washington DC, is ours.

We are here to stay.

All across this country.

An army of fighters,


who laid down our lives to
defend the land we loved.

But know this truth.

Our lives are precious.

And if you ever again send
our brothers and sisters

to give their lives for
a needless, pointless lie,

then we guarantee that you
will see the true face of w*r:

The Face of Hell!