03x04 - I Am Bush Pilot

[bunniefuu]

Today is a monumental day, Mr. Baboon.

Today, we will save these people from

extinction.

Good afternoon. ladies and gentlemen, and

welcome to Weasel Airlines. For those of

you migrating for the first time, please

direct your attention to the following

film.

Today, I and my copilot, Mr. Baboon, will

assist you on an important journey.

Every spring, people just like you would

venture deep into the wilderness. With

only their genetic memory as a guide, the

male and female would instinctively begin

their arduous trek to the icy waters of

their birth. As if drawn by

some unseen force, they would swim

upstream against the raging currents and

overwhelming odds. Of course,

some would never make it, but many would

succeed and happily spawn in the mountain

waters from whence they came. But this

annual migration can no longer exist

because of an influx of bad fever

disease.

Say it now!It's all just a stupid cave.

And that stinkin' river is just using us.

Hi, Kevin, you're right. In the dreams

are he got all his way home. Guys, I hate

with the trees.

I died the river! I died the river!

Let's make a dam!

And the lunatic beavers proceeded to do

just that.

Much to the dismay of the spawning

public, the beavers had built humongous

dams hundreds of feet high, walking the

river and making your spawning trip

impossible. I'm Sean. Go get my

fishing pool. It looks like a school of

toppies are trying to sprawl again. It

is for this reason that Weasel Air

provides this air migration service. Now,

just sit back and relax, and our

stewardess will be serving pickle fudge

sundaes in a moment. Now, everybody

buckle up and remember to use the barf

buckets under your seats. Uh, Tower, this

is Weasel Air Flight 109-er er requesting

permission to taxi on the runway. Yeah,

whatever blows your skirt up, big boy.

Roger, dodger, over and under. Nah,

that's a roger, pilot to copilot. We are

ready to taxi on to the runway.

Well, IR, today's flight will make our



Oh, Captain, some man in 14D

can't get his peanuts open! Peanuts! It

only took a bag of pretzels to blow up

the Hindenburg. Babu, you take the field!

Hey! My peanuts! Oh,

that poor me!

Now I am having control of the airplane.

Now here's this, people! This all-Bean

Airlines! Holding on!

What did they make these bags out of?

Don't panic. Help is on the way. There's



That's odd. Where could he have possibly

gone?Hmm..

Throw my tail! Let it go! Oh, what

happened?I have more lumps and head than

usual.

Smart pens, you easy dinky. Stop IR from

being a real pilot. Ooh, look

at all the pretty buttons. Millions of

pretty buttons. IR

pushing all buttons! When

you've finished your peanuts, our flight

attendant will be serving complimentary

beverages.

That's strange. We're accelerating.

This can only mean one thing.

All

right, Mr. Babble. Jumping Mother of

Pearl. I am going

to knock off that beager!

Phew. That was close. Oh, Captain.

Oh, Capitan. All that turbulence

has caused all the women to go into

third-stage labor.

Simultaneously! I have no

alternative. I must deliver all those

babies and fly the plane at the same

time. And I fly plane.

I am Weasel. OBGYN.

I'm exhausted. If I have to

slap one more baby's butt, I'll pass out.

Thank goodness we're almost there. Good

gravy!We're losing altitude fast. Got

you. Get the nose. No use.

All the babies have made the plane too

heavy. copilot Baboon, report to c*ck

ASAP. Aye aye, Roger.

We've got to lighten the load. Go

jettison any unnecessary baggage. My

eyes, sir.

Ohh Why aren't you out of

unnecessary old bag?We're still too

heavy. Go dump all the cargo.

Bye-bye, you cannonball!

Bye-bye to Tentum! Uh-oh,

giant beaver dam straight ahead! Baboon,

do something to lighten the plane!

I am on top of it, Captain!

Just look at them, IR. There's nothing to

compare to the wondrous beauty of

parenthood. Well, our work is done here.

Break out the rubber raft, and we'll head

back downstream. I are going out raft

when I are tossing flight attendant

overboard. What?Sometimes I

wonder why I hang out with you.