03x03 - I Stand Corrected

[bunniefuu]

Will the defendant please rise for

sentencing?

Once again, you are the defendant, Mr.

Baboon. Umm

I are Baboon. For the crime of being

furry in public on a Tuesday, you have

been found guilty. Ah, I did.

By the power vested in me by the great

Commonwealth of Kentucky, I hereby

sentence you to 99 years in a

correctional facility.

Addiction!

oh

It's all right here, Your Majesty. This

medieval Kentucky law states that if the

defendant has a big red butt. and

the judges cooped and fuzzy with their

long, bushy tail... The judge must serve

the entire sentence of 99 years with

the convicted defendant. Preposterous,

Mr. Rumpstein. Rumpstein.

Let me see. A fuzzy tail.



facility. See?I told you so!

It appears you are correct, Mr. Rump--

Stein. Stein! It is my job

to uphold all laws, even patently

stupid laws. So I hereby sentence

myself to 99 years to be served with

Mr. Baboon in a correctional facility.

Why on earth are you wearing that

horrible mouth device?This is a

correctional facility. They're

correcting my overbite.

Look!

Put it back on, man. I wonder what

correctional devices the warden plans for

us.

We are not here to have fun. Now, if you

will excuse me, I'd like to get some

sleep, as I'm sure we have a day full of

back-breaking labor ahead of us tomorrow.

Good night, Bunk Buddy! Sleep good!

Time to get up, Baboon. Baboon?

Baboon?Baboon?Lose

something?Well, I'd say...

Aren't you the defense attorney that put

me here?Uh, no. I'm the

Horton here! As I recall,

there are supposed to be two prisoners in

this cell. So where's your cellmate?I am

not that monkey's keeper. I don't know

where he went. You didn't

eat him, did you?Eat

Baboon?Ew, savage.

What I eating savage is an

infraction. 30 days in the box!

Then you're in big trouble! I thought you

were in big trouble.



serious. Oh, I'm dead

serious, Bucko. I'll see you in 30

days!

Oh, this'll teach you to eat your

cellmate. Well, I suppose I should go

back to my cell.

I certainly hope I didn't eat that poor

baboon. Maybe this life of hard time has

finally gotten to me. Hello,

cellmate! Baboon, what happened

to your ears?These are correctional

earmuffs. warden giving them to IR,

'cause IR is leading corrected.

And this is correctional facility.

Mm-hmm, oh-oh, mm-hmm

Typical knock knees of a common criminal.

These correctional hot pants will

have you reformed in no time.

All done! Ooh, this

correctional ball cap should have you

fixing a chippy!Wharton,

I must speak with you about these

correctional devices. Short,

fuzzy, weaselly eyes. Classic criminal

features. You got it all wrong. This is

supposed to be a place to keep dangerous

criminals like me off the streets.

Questioning the Wharton's authority is an

infraction! 60 days in the box!

Don't mess with the Kentucky State

correctional system. This

place desperately needs my help. I am

weasel-- HmmThese correctional

devices are inhumane. They have to go.

Good goat cheese! HmmWell,

maybe this correctional device ain't such

a bad idea. What an

unlucky fellow. Oh, you poor

man. Let's get that contraption off of

you.

Merciful mayonnaise! That certainly does

be correcting.

A Fred corrector?

Hello, Fred.

I certainly can't let that gouncorrected.

HmmStill furry, still has beady weasel

eyes, and still-- Sure. Where is your

correctional gear?Well, it sounded like a

stupid idea, so I never put it on.

Failure to wear correctional gear-- Is an

infraction! Six years in the box!

If that warden was right about the other

inmates and those stupid correctional

devices, maybe he's right about me, too.

Maybe I do need correcting.

And so you see, Baboon, my efforts to

correct this facility were sadly

misguided. Why, now that I am no longer

fuzzy, and my eyes aren't so beady, and I

am not so short, I feel great. 99 years

in this joint might not be so bad. At

least we're not getting life.

I love happy endings. Don't you agree,

Warden?