09x23 - The Clampetts Meet Robert Audubon Getty Crockett

[bunniefuu]

The Beverly Hillbillies

here we are Critters Granny's got

breakfast for you Earl you've been doing

an outstanding job

keep up the good work

[Music]

fancy you're a real good ape I'm proud

of you Rusty

[Music]

you've been doing a good job keeping the

Gophers and the moles out of the eye

here's a nice little piece of fish for

you

don't go timer

I know that these chilly mornings gives

us senior citizens some Akins in the

joints

so I stirred up a spoonful of my

rheumatized medicine for you in your

videos

[Applause]

sorry Duke I should have fetched you a

chaser

Elmer

I really don't know what good you do

around here father's raccoons go

you're a handsome fellas here's a little

treat for you and eat it in good health

oh Jed ready you just proved something

I've been suspecting for a long time

what's that Ellie don't get her love

animal just from my side of the family

you got a soft spot in your heart for

him too well I didn't want the pesky

violence to start to death well it

wasn't just a little I heard your sweet

talking

well I didn't want them to be missing

Ellie so I I did it because they

wouldn't be howling and crying and

raising a Ruckus you did a good job Old

Duke has sure got a smile on his face

[Music]

early

Miss James so excited about a new fella

she don't sleep much no more love

Haitians The Rosy Dawn and bits of

restless sleep be gone Miss Jane you

sure do have a way with words that was

Swift yeah it didn't take long excuse me

y'all I want to say hi to my credit

well Machine we is mighty happy to hear

about your romance yeah come on inside

and tell us all about him how can I

describe him he's tall he's handsome

Divine and a girl would spoon to have

him and yet he's totally mine

Jeb there just ain't no justice Miss

Jane has got herself a handsome fellow

and there's your daughter hug and an ape

[Music]

good morning Ellie fortunately the

monster from The Forbidden Vault isn't

here yet well Bessie won't be no trouble

miss jenk you should so lonesome for me

well if anybody can get away with

bringing an ape to the bank it's you

actually we could put glasses on her

Cedar to vice president's desk and no

one would ever notice

don't make any rash promises Ellie there

are some Apes here who have seniority

you sit right here and behave yourself

by Miss Jane May figure out where to put

you

good at dusting and washing windows and

such well don't worry about it Alex the

chief isn't due for half an hour but

we'll have plenty of time to

figure out

it sounds like somebody's typing in my

office sure does

what a remarkable aptitude for typing no

you cannot have a race I don't ask you

again

I don't think you can be replaced just

because you're a vice president

[Music]

Langston won't you

now his typing's improving put Messi in

here quickly

wow good morning girls morning Mr

Drysdale good morning Chief Miss

Hathaway you know that new Vice

President Bill Steele he's asking for a

raise again what a jerk Chief you could

hardly call Mr Steele no he has been a

vice president for 15 years and he has

never had a raise would you think after

15 years a jerk would quit asking

oh Mr Drysdale don't go in there why not

oh we'll be because there's a uh that's

a maintenance man working on the

plumbing in there yes sir that's right

[Music]

oh there's a kind of maintenance man I

like no Union problems no portal portal

pay no

what was that Chief is just a chimpanzee

what in the name of the Federal Reserve

System it's an eight doing in my bank

where is he please don't use the

loudness to drug deal you scared the

best he has to death Ellie dear is is he

yours yes sir

sir what a darling little dad did the

bad Bank residence whitened acute itty

bitty ape

call her Betsy she likes that her did

the sweetest little Betty would ever

wield

my baby oh

wasn't that darling did you see that was

out he wasn't a dollar yes yes I enjoyed

it immensely we'll get rid of it

she's an awfully good worker working

well yeah yeah she can wash windows

clean light fixtures anything up high oh

let her stay she's no trouble really all

right Ellie take her into my office oh

thank you you hear that

hit that bad let her sit at my desk you

can play with my wife's picture

she might break it

I know

Robert Jane my dear

you're as

radiant this morning as a bird of

paradise

thank you and

now crest of cardinal could surpass your

magnificence

oh Chief have you met indeed I have are

you my boy uh late uh didn't we say nine

o'clock for Miss Clampett's driving

lesson oh oh yeah yeah yes so we did

Robin has kindly offered to teach Ellie

to drive my car so she needed to be

dependent upon me for transportation Mom

that's wonderful idea go get Ellie

yeah how is your beloved Uncle oh which

one Uncle Paul Jay Paul Getty the

billionaire oh that one yes how is he

Rich you're a man of few words I like

that

I forgot about my driving lesson naughty

girl this very important man is donating

his valuable time to help you you should

be extremely grateful that a man of his

exalted position would take the time and

trouble knock it off will you does he

know how to turn a phrase what a

beautiful human being

well run along you two drive carefully

oh hey you might want to make some notes

on Ellie's driving here's a handy pad

for you these are deposit slips oh

really oh well who knows they might come

in handy ah goodbye take all the time

you want Happy Motoring

wonderful fella it certainly is he has

what it takes to make any woman happy

the three elves

three elves looks luck and loot

[Music]

that's right Missy break that mean

ladies picture

[Music]

thank you for my driving lesson Mr

Robert

what was it you said you needed again

oh a tranquilizer please would it help

you to get rid of that green look I hope

so

I ain't just sure miss James garden with

them they're tranquilizers oh just a

couple of aspirins and water will be

fine I'll just sit here

60 miles an hour through a 30 mile zone

is comfortable hey you know Ellie you

really got to learn the difference

between the brake and the accelerator

well I think I already know the

accelerator is what you push when you

want to stop oh boy

here these pills don't help you you go

see my granny she's a doctor

your grandmother's an MD that's right

Mountain doctor

my credit come from the hills of

Tennessee and the women folks been

doctored for hundreds of years are you

feeling well enough to drive me back to

the bank oh not quite yet

tell me a little bit more about your

family

he's worth quite a bit of money

right around 100 million dollars I like

him straight off

now granny she's kind of hard to get

next to

too bad giant from Tennessee

what part of Tennessee is she from well

she was born and raised down around

Limestone that's Davy Crockett country

you like him love him used to watch his

show every week

granny thinks the sun rises and sets an

Old Navy

I'm beginning to lagging myself

you feeling better yeah

yeah well I'll drive you to the bank and

have another lesson

I'm not feeling that much better now

besides didn't Mr Drysdale say you could

have the day off come to thank God he

sure did you reckon it's all right if I

take a sun bath Up on the Roof well I

recommend it and I'll come up and see

you when I get back oh thank you

my pleasure

bye see you later

what the hell getting acquainted with

Hathaways in your world of good you look

almost like a gentleman thanks Mr Fink

um how about the three months back rent

did the money come from MGM MGM oh my

grandmother no not yet but uh maybe

today look d*ck it's Robert now Robert

Audubon but uh you could call me Bob see

you later I'll hold you hold it Bob hey

up I'm gonna change the lock on that

apartment

oh look Mr Finney I'm on my way right

now to try out for a part now if I give

a good performance I'll be in Clover

believe me what kind of a pie well it's

uh sort of a Davy Crockett thing but you

get the hair for it but uh well I'm on

my way right now to change into my

Tennessee clothes I don't know that I

should trust you believe me you can

honestly I mean this is a great

opportunity how about a little cash oh

thanks I could I could use 20.

shouldn't do this

would you took my advice about Miss

Hathaway and I like that you young

fellas usually don't listen well I

listen I listen and I'm breaking a

long-standing rule and lending money to

an actor I really appreciate this Miss

opinion thanks for trusting me and don't

worry you'll get this double Sawbuck

back well I'm not worried when I get it

back

you'll get this back

you're all hurt Mr Finney

[Music]

what you got there granny there goes my

daughter for you you ain't feeding the

critters again so soon are you no Jed

that ain't for the critters

I'd appreciate it if you didn't ask me

that you might want to do something

about it

I might have dad who is it for

it's for Jethro where is Jethro I don't

know and I don't want to know he slips

by at odd hours

Scoops up the catalers he dabbles back

into Haydn why is he hiding

he thinks that little girl from

Louisiana is still here waiting to marry

him well why don't you leave him a note

and tell him she's gone

all right kid I'll do that but I can

still use a few more days of peace and

quiet I'll leave the note next Monday

granny

yeah

make it Tuesday

howdy howdy howdy

what happened to Serious granny a

Crockett's the name Robert a Crockett

pleased to meet you where are you from

oh my family Hail some down around

Limestone Tennessee and your name is

Crockett yes ma'am if you by any chance

kin to the one and only Davey

Rick and I am

did you hear that kid I sure did he's

right honored

how'd you hear about us well you love

the granddaughter told me about you she

said you all from Tennessee too

born and raised not a stone throw away

from Davey's cabin

I reckon that you ought to have the

family here a little bit what's that

Davy's camp

you mean David yourself

the day he followed Andy Jackson into

battle

Davey never followed nobody he led

oh I'm sorry man it's just a well I

don't like to brag on my chemical

well you got every right to brag on

somebody that likes a Davy Crockett but

how can you part what something as

important as this well yeah you see sir

I'm not a Tennessean born and bred and

well I figured old David like granny to

have it oh bless you my son

bless you

how did babysitter sh**t Straight

wearing this

they're likely his head was much bigger

well I'll be moving along no no no no

now you're gonna stay and have fiddles

with us

fiddles yeah how do you like Granny's

stuff a possum for you oh not especially

huh I don't believe in over feeding

animals

[Music]

thank you back from launch Chief come on

in rhino

oh no

what do you mean oh no it gives her a

sense of Pride to be active and useful a

busy champ is a happy gym

oh it's a very good job oh why don't you

sit down have her brush your shoes no

thank you I do not believe in exploiting

underprivileged animals oh she enjoys

you go ahead well

I'm going to put her down in front of

the bank I think it's a nice service for

the customers

I I must admit she's very Adept at it

are you kidding she

she gone fast too

wow thank you you did an excellent job I

mean 35 cents you're charging for her

work I've got an investment in this

equipment you think shoe polish is free

35 cents handed over I don't have any

change all I have is a dollar we're

gonna arrange that you're gonna let her

change

what does she want now

attack your cheapskate

no skimming

now get down in front of the bank and

rustle up some business and no farming

of tips because I'll be watching you

right through the window

[Music]

oh please call me Bob and the pleasure

was all mine Mr Clampett oh dead

sorry you can't set a spell and sh**t

the fat with us no thanks I I couldn't

eat another bite did you enjoy your meal

oh sure did man then was right fine

fiddles well you can't hardly beat

braised breast and buzzard

is that what I ate that was a main dish

you started off with dilled owl gizzards

really uh I'm looking at Mike Peel maybe

he needs a little Doctrine I'll Brew you

up a pot of Horsemen and dog fennel tea

no thanks I I really have to be going

[Music]

yeah it looks like this where's the car

you're driving boy it is indeed I've

already to give Ellie Mason driving

lessons and I was surpassing kind of you

can't breathe Mr Crockett I want to

thank you for giving me Davey's cap

you're a Dandy fine fella he is perfect

you know he just give Ellie me a driving

lesson no yep

she's a lovely girl and

well man

now that I've mention you I can see

where she gets her beauty

are you married

granny well I only ask him Jan to see if

he could qualify for a little shot of

white lightning it is a family rule that

you can't sample the Granny's Brew

unless she's married

I'm single I'll go Fishman jug Granny's

a man says he's single

the job is for me I'm gonna celebrate

and he come back here well it was sure

nice meeting you folks well I hope our

fans will cross again sometime

bye y'all see you soon son

he's a fine boy yeah I think Ellie has

caught herself a real keeper granny

let's not count our fish until he's

fried

speaking of fish Jethro's been here that

whole candle of catfish stew is gone Yep

looks like he snuck in snatched a snack

and snuck off wondering where that boy

is hiding really

ignorance is bliss

let's keep it Blissful for a while I'll

drink to that

don't know if I ain't tempted to join

you

oh Miss Hathaway congratulations

on fun

who oh I'm sorry Robert Audubon oh

you uh you've been a marvelous influence

on the boy well thank you he's done a

great deal for me too you can thank me

for bringing you two together I shall be

eternally grateful by the way have you

seen Robin yes he just went up on the

roof with this camera

oh doubtless In Search Of The elusive

summer tanager

could be I think I shall die my bird

watchers uniform scale the fight escape

and

and surprise the dear boy stay in Emma's

Hathaway I'm pulling for you thank you

for your good wishes oh by the way yes

if you see him ask him when he's going

to come up with that double sawbuck

double Sawbuck I don't think I've heard

of it

it must be an extremely rare bird

[Music]

I had a marvelous time with your family

did granny feed you

please not while I'm enjoying myself

it's beautiful

I hold it hold it right there

you mind fellow we'd like to be alone

Robert it is our Jade all the way

oh boy have you spotted The elusive

Furniture huh oh oh yeah yeah he went

that away

after we find the time did you almost

take the double

shot

[Music]

but now it's time to say goodbye to Jet

and all his Kim they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in they're

all invited back next week for this

locality to have a heap and helping of

their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here this

has been a film waste presentation

thank you