08x14 - Our Hero the Banker

[bunniefuu]

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said California is a place you ought to

be sold it loaded up the truck in the

motor Beverly Hills that is swimming

pools movie stars The Beverly

Hillbillies

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foreign

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[Applause]

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mouth me like she always does

sit here

in the first place we ain't going over

there to see Miss Jerry's there we go

and see her nephew these blood King's

Head he's got her meanness in him

that is a lot of hogwash your own

grandfather was one of the orders cusses

that ever roamed the hills but did that

make you mean

no

I wonder what it is

ready to go next door and Whisper his

drysdale's nephew good luck this is his

first day as a civilian Ah that's a

spirit hell he knows he's beholden to

the boy who's beholding we'd all behold

the boy has been in the Air Force

fighting fighting where fighting

everywhere fighting who

wouldn't anybody I told you heard me

him

ready the boy has been in the service

it's his duty to fight our enemy well

then let him start with his aunt she's

the biggest one we got

look what I'm gonna give that Air Force

Lieutenant for good luck

my Buckeye a rabbit's foot and my dried

frog 50 cents a week allowance I can't

afford nothing else well it ain't the

gift it's a thought I'm gonna give him

my lucky jack knife that I was toting

today I struck oil back into him he'll

like that Paul

well it's a boy's first day working at

Mr dry deals Bank we all want to wish

him well

I'm gonna give him a kiss and Beth is

going to give him this here banana

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change and go with you

that's a spirit granny

I want you to know that you've made me

feel mean and small and selfish and I

don't think I'll ever forgive you for it

thank you

then darling I have a surprise for you

huh good morning I'm going to prepare

and serve breakfast myself

hey you haven't done that since we were

first married I'm thrilled The Thrill is

fine just sit across the breakfast table

from a handsome Dynamic young Banker

well handsome Dynamic yes but I wouldn't

exactly so young oh Melbourne oh ladies

and gentlemen

Lance is barely 30. what are you talking

about my nephew of course now that he's

vice president of your bank you can look

forward to some real success Margaret

for your information my bank is already

one of the most successful in Beverly

Hills isn't that marvelous and he's only

been here one day

phenomenal but I have some coffee

what a red letter day for your bank

getting learned spread for the Air Force

hero well it's not exactly a rotten

break for him either after all I'm

making him vice president yes well as

long as promotion can be sweet

Margaret he's been in the Air Force for

10 years and he's a second Lieutenant

that's what I mean dear right to the top

can I have some coffee

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please have some coffee watch with the

robin pajamas I just got out of bed he

just got out of date yeah do you sleep

in that cap

why is it wrinkled

you are doing the bank at nine o'clock

that's oh nine hundred dollars that's

all nine hundred dollars I thought you

were going to fix breakfast

right away at Margaret these lovely

delicate hands weren't meant for kitchen

work

why can't you be Galant and chivalrous

like Lance

now can I have some coffee of course

dear you are such a good influencer

aren't you gonna get dressed and go to

the office

don't rush me it's a difficult

transition from Yousaf to come back

from what to what military Pilots

yousafers United States Air Force comb

bank is Commerce Bank I'm dipcom Bank

your sitcom Bank

well look who's here good morning

morning we come to wish Lance good luck

bestie's got a present for you Lance

thank you I love bananas I got something

for you too Lance

what's that oh that's a buckeye a

rabbit's foot and a dried frog uh you

eat it I'm having eggs

oh baby thanks for good luck

and this year's for good luck too

how about a little good luck on this

side

for my part Lance I want you to have my

lucky jackknife I was toting it today a

struck oil

beautiful

gesture from a beautiful man

when you got problems trouble is

weighing you down ain't nothing will do

you more good and setting whippling on a

piece of pine

and I fetched to one of them too thank

you

beautiful beautiful

I got two presents for you Lance well

that's nice of you Granny Dr granny oh

yes that's right my first present is a

jar of my homemade pickled owl gizzards

and my second present is free medical

treatment thanks they go together nicely

well it certainly has been wonderful

he's doing in my breakfast room

granny she was referring to Lance and me

uh come on Armor creature let's eat in

the kitchen you'll know very well to

whom I was referring this little witch

and her broom

yes he did I told you she'd mean Mount

me she don't like me oh granny that is

an understatement you've always been a

thorn in my side I can change that to a

fist in your mouth

power Shimmer down granny that's cool

everybody oh please kids let me throw

another cut to one of her chins

get out of my house I gotta let her have

one good one already we come here in a

spirit of peace and friendship to wish

good luck to Lance here and he's leaving

with a Hymn of happiness I got a joy joy

joy joy down in my heart down in my

heart

[Applause]

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oh

Joy

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just what do you think you're doing well

I have instructions to remove your name

from the door I thought you knew about

whoever issued those instructions is

through it was your wife she's through

your wife is through that's right she's

through with these instructions has she

issued any others yes she wants her

nephew's name on the store I assigned

him an office down the hall it seems she

wants him to be close to you oh well

that's understandable he's new he's

learning the business but we can't share

the same office I don't think she

expects you to

instructed me to put your name on this

door that is the washroom

at this time my wife's going too far I

agree to give a hero nephew a job but

this is ridiculous by the way where is

The Fearless Falcon of the Skies I told

him to stop and pick up some civilian

clothes I don't want him running around

the office in his Air Force uniform

yes Miss Thompson sorry to intrude but

Mr Lance Bradford is on his way up and

before he gets her I wonder if I might

ask a bit of a favor what is it might I

be a secretary he's such a dashing chap

even in his Civics Thompson Mr Bradford

secretary will be chosen on Merit you

will have an equal chance with the other

girls that's right now back to your desk

yes sir thank you

tally hole

how about that she recognized me even as

an ordinary civilian

some civilian you look like Baron von

Richtofen

thanks will my new convertible be all

right park down there in front I won't

be here long look Ace

I mentioned business but your job is

getting new accounts for this bank I

opened two new accounts on my way here

really yes I charged this outfit in the

new convertible to the bank

charge accounts I don't need your Aunt

Margaret brings in plenty of those and

speaking of her she said you had

connections in high places you might

bring in some of that Pentagon loot

don't get uptight skipper

as we say in the Air Force any Landing

you walk away from is a good one

what does that have to do with anything

you're really Earthbound aren't you Miss

Hathaway I'm ready to start interviewing

secretaries yes Mr Bradford just call me

vipcom bank

vice president Commerce Bank Miss

commander chief I'm VIP he's sick I'm

getting sicker by the minute now look

Fly Boy you and I have to have a serious

talk

check with me about 1400 hours I'll try

and squeeze you in

next

isn't your name I'm

efficiency

if you weren't here for us he'd be on

the carpet if you were in the Air Force

you'd be on the car yeah I may join

that's your new convertible is Simply

Beautiful could you take me for a drive

I'd love to have Margaret but I've got

to interview some secretaries

sl*ve driver

split up on the boy even for a few

moments must it be work work work all

day well I'll try to go easier on it how

do you do Mr strawsdale Miss Hathaway

the secretaries are here to be

interviewed have them come in girls

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the duty calls Aunt Margaret

you poor over work darling

don't try to light me his burden

Melbourne have a little pity on the boy

my heart goes out to me

you'll weather the storm lands dear you

are from good stock thank you Artie you

will pick a girl with proper breeding

naturally come along Tyrant where are we

going I want to discuss a range and

better working conditions for that

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where are you going granny

what'd you say Jan where are you going

there's a violence in the neighborhood

what kind of apartment mean kid means

ugly too vicious thing sound like a

coyote she looks like one too okay

it's a female you aim to sh**t her in a

good dress I don't care what she's

wearing

oh so that's it you're after his driving

well eight years of name-calling I can't

take it no longer sit down oh look at

he's dead just let me give her one

barrel

oh I'll give her a 50-foot running stuff

nope

a hundred foot and you can hold my

glasses you're gonna hold your glasses

is a real good idea hand me that gunshed

I can still salt her

nope I can't miss a Target

are you going to house and stay there

till you cool off

and ask the good Lord to forgive you for

your mean thoughts ask him to feel your

heart full of love and kindness ask them

to make you a good neighbor I wish he'd

make me a good neighbor to take the

place of the one I got now

foreign

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what uniform is that

Air Force oh you joined the Air Force

did you I'm fixing to I've seen the way

them girls down at the bank made over

that Lieutenant Lance Bradford yeah

somebody uniform catches a lady's eye

wait let's see this rascal

that is a fancy one I reckon so it's

uniform of a four-star general

oh you're starting out as a general

aren't you why not didn't cost no more

than a Lieutenant's uniform and a

general gets a heap more bait that's

where the 06 great Edge case really pays

off

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me granny yeah can I have my glasses and

my shotgun back you could have had your

glasses if you hadn't asked for the

shotgun

what do you mean I'm afraid you still

got in from his dry day well I asked the

Lord to fill my heart with love for the

woman like you said did he do

Jed is it my fault that he don't like

her neither

you just keep asking him to fill you

with the sweet Spirit of Charity and

kindness

I'll get to that woman if I have to

crawl every foot of the way all right

granny how do I look you look fine where

are you hey I'm right here Hey where's

your glasses

I don't need glasses how do you like my

uniform I'm a four-star general now

General yeah and my Pace sure is going

to beat that 50 cents a week allowance

Uncle Jed gives me good this uniform is

a real girl Grabber got a lot of fruit

salad on my chest

he always was a Messy eater

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well the girls at the bank See Me Now

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say that looks like an Air Force General

wait here

Jethro oh hi Lance what are you doing in

this outfit Ain't It a Pity Air Force

General having to drive around in no

wreck like this but you know what you

can get for wearing a general's uniform

no not exactly but I bet it's plenty

listen buddy they could send you to The

Stockade I don't care where they send me

just so long as there's plenty a girl

that's your problem mine's getting new

accounts

listen I understand your Uncle Jed is

worth 90 million dollars that's right do

you suppose you could get him to put it

in Mr drysdale's Bank

that's where he keeps it now oh boy just

my luck I've got to get someone to open

my new account or that'll go to eat me

out

I don't keep my money in Mr drysdale's

Bank you don't

would you be willing to

you fixed me up with some of them pretty

girls and I put in my whole allowance

you mean it all of it every penny come

with me Jethro a gentlemen introduce me

as a big important General don't worry

I'll give you a real build up

girls I've got a terrific thrill for you

I'd like you to meet the biggest General

in the Air Force the ASA Aces the pride

of the Pentagon General Buzz Bodine

himself

he's single

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where is he I can't find him any place

you mean Lieutenant Bradford I mean

Lieutenant Goof Off where is he

he left in his convertible with Helen

Janet and Susan what he said it was a

consolation for not getting the job as

his secretary

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yes sir what is this stuff a high five

set a colored television and a portable

bar the boss ordered it I want it out of

here and I want him out of here and I

want his name off that door

Mr Hathaway

I'm out of there we're no longer sharing

a washroom

that's a good question I have some

followers for his desk well put them in

there his desk has running water and the

euro not anymore it now belongs that

phony Fly Boy nephew of yours

what do you mean phony you told me that

jerk had high connections I did bring in

some Pentagon money and I have

did you say you have it that's right

I've just come from a meeting with a

four-star Air Force General and he's

agreed to put his entire allowance into

the bank

those Air Force procurement allowances

can run into billions he's not kidding

is he girls no he's not we met him he's

the real thing dogs are four star

generals they call him the pride of the

Pentagon Ace of aces she's got

decorations all over his chest and he's

putting his allowance in my bank

every penny of it Miss Hathaway open the

bar champagne for everyone we're going

to drink a toast to our hero Lance

Bradford

oh Margaret I love you forgive me for

doubting your nephew he's a marvelous

boy

oh there's someone in my office oh I'll

get it you girls stay with our hero

dance drink be merry for he's a jolly

good fellow

good fellow but he's a jolly Goodman

General this is a great

Jethro that's right General Buzz Bodine

Pride of the Pentagon I told Lance I put

my entire allowance in your bank and

here she is the whole 50 cents

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I'll come back now dude this has been a

film wise presentation