07x18 - Cousin Roy in Movieland

[bunniefuu]

come and listen to him a story about a

man named Jed a horror Mountaineer

barely kept his family's head and then

one day he was sh**ting at some food and

up to the ground comma Bumble and crude

oil that is black gold Texas Tea well

the first thing you know old Jeb's a

millionaire the Kim folks said Jim move

away from there said California is a

place you ought to be so they loaded up

the truck in the mood to Beverly Hills

that is swimming pools movie stars The

Beverly Hillbillies

foreign

Hill saying welcome to another episode

of cousin Roy in movie land

the program that asks the question can a

shy but talented boy from a small town

in the Ozarks find happiness as a famous

Hollywood recording artist

and now let's follow cousin Roy into the

little Mansion around the corner and up

your street for he is staying with just

plain shed the Witter granny our gal

Ellie and Jethro Bodine boy agent

[Music]

did you make a recording well now chat

but this fellow's got big plans he wants

to use the biggest recording studio in

Hollywood hire the best musicians on the

west coast get a vocal course to back me

up and put out an LP album my picture on

the cover doggy

man it's just one little hitch

he ain't got no money

I'm thinking the same thing granny Roy

you tell that man to go right ahead with

his plans we'll put up the money oh I

can't let you folks we got more money we

know what to do with right granny oh

that's the gospel truth Roy and nothing

Pleasures us more than a half a friend

from back home

just one little hitch what's that I

gotta hear what's going on that record

oh my pleasure granny

Benny you got more excuses for making

that boy entertain you I like it you

make him sing for his supper play the

guitar for his laundry and strum the

banjo before you turn his bed down

that's true I'm glad this excuse come

along I was running out

Randy how'd you like to take a ride on

the Orange Blossom Special that's my

speed Roy all aboard and take her out of

the connection ready

[Music]

Roy

[Music]

thank you

oh I'm from Jacksonville

that was a Dandy train ride Rod that boy

is a fiddling Casey Young Now take us

home on the Wabash Cannonball one and

two that's enough granny don't overdo it

party pooper we have to have all that

country music racket this hour in the

morning but

I was born in Hollywood agent needs our

rest because we burn some midnight

through I mean JB oh that's all right

Roy sweetie

sorry for you brush Apes know how to act

around a giant of the industry like

yours truly

I think I'll give yours true

lit simmer down granny he'll be leaving

for his office directly

what's a peace symbol all us agents

wears them it shows that we got a piece

of somebody hey get the door will you

probably my joke

thank you

would you tell JB is limousine is ready

sure will ma'am oh come in he's just

over there at the mirror prepping did

you have that color TV set installed in

the back seat of my limo

yes JB in my stereotype deck yes JP and

my two telephones yes taping oh what

about the snack bar and refrigerator

they're installed JB good now I can have

vittles watch TV in Long Distance my

clients while he's rushing me trick

Studios there's just one problem JB what

what's that you'll have to ride in the

front there's no more room in the back

oh that's your business

likely to be invited to eat with Frankie

ordino in the Rat Pack

if there's free vittles in it he'll eat

with Varma

Metro

good job sweetie cousin Roy is going to

make a record album and if you want to

be his agent cooler baby you're talking

to the president chairman of the board

at JB Enterprises Incorporated one of

the world's great talent agencies yeah I

know but I got the whole fifth floor

down to Mr drysdale's Bank Builder just

from a Hollywood headquarters yeah I

know but uh are you asking me to handle

a fiddle scrape and hay shaker like

cousin Roy

well I was thinking if he sells a lot of

Records or sale love and Uncle you can't

give away this stuff

that he and alien

City Heath

did you hear that is he beautiful is

this a beautiful man sweet simple out of

touch but beautiful yeah girl hey I love

you Uncle Jeff when you do your own

thing you're beautiful you chop a great

log your man defines you you pound a

groovy nail but now you're talking show

business and that's my bad I just wanted

you to have the chance

you're beautiful a beautiful Old

Gentleman a great symbol of a forgotten

generation

sorry I bothered you oh no no I love you

Uncle Jim I don't blame you for picking

my brain

leave me Jethro nobody picked your brain

he was born with it

silver drive me to the mppa on the

picture producers Association no no no

mother pan holy's pizza auto man I'm

starving

a pretty girl

[Music]

like a melody what's molly doing here

don't you remember jeffro high of her as

his receptionist oh yeah just like this

Jane hi there

behind frame I'm rehearsing what do we

do

and run around my brain

what brain she and Jethro make a great

pair between them they have the IQ of a

mosquito

that's why a pretty girl is just like a

pretty too

[Applause]

I want to see it oh JB isn't in yet yes

he is bunny honey

hey you baby dolls what brings you to

the nurse Center the entertainment world

I need to talk to you Jethro I'm awful

jammed up sweetie I'll have to check my

calendar uh how many superstars is

waiting in my office to see me none JP

how many long distance calls I got to

return none JP

uh what time is my first appointment you

haven't got one JB

I guess I can squeeze you

jpg unbelievable

totally

now what's on your mind landlord baby

your rent five thousand dollars a month

how do you intend to pay it sweetheart I

got unlimited credit oh where

right here in your bank

oh okay that deal I did pussycat you

don't work for this bank I did when I

okayed his credit yeah I wish I had more

time to k*ll this with you sweetie but

I'm real busy real nice if you go to

drop by leave your number with my gas

and quick as I have a free moment I'll

give you a buzz right now I'm swamped

[Music]

Roy watching you make that record with a

real treat sure enough what thanks for

letting Daddy come along

is she cute in an iTune outfit

just like Jeff bro makes just about as

much sense

of the recording go Roy okay I hope

better and okay granny sure was best

thing in fighting you ever did here I

didn't hear it darling I was slaving

over a hot stove out in the kitchen

all alone

that was the rest of you would have hot

riddles when you come home

I wish you could have been there granny

so do I I love to hear you sing and play

did you do Under The Double Eagle that

was his first number it's one of my

favorites

but I had to miss it

because I was out in the kitchen fixing

riddles the rest of you

well Reckless be out in a couple of days

granny yeah you can hear it then good

good how would you like to wait a couple

of days for your little

but I think I'll do Mr Clampett

I think I'll play another Double Eagle

right now I appreciate that Roy I'm as

hungry as you are did you hear that

Ellie Ryan's gonna play

oh bye

[Music]

foreign

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we've got one chance to save me from

Financial ruin and that is to get Jed

Clapper to back Jethro with his 80

million don't you think that's a rather

remote possibility not if you

collaborate I am going to tell Uncle

sugar that his nephew is on a road to

success as one of Hollywood's Bright

Young agents how do I cooperate by

avoiding the truth at all costs

[Music]

You Know Chief you have done some

underhanded devious unscrupulous things

but this stops them all this is no time

for flattery we have a job to do it's

g*y Mr dryer deal come in come here

thank you we just finished company

riddles but I'm sure granny could dish

you up a mess of dandelion greens and

goats right always sounds delicious Mr

Clampett but we're in a hurry we just

stopped by to tell you how proud We Are

of Jethro oh you're doing all right is

he with your financial backing he's on

his way to becoming a Boy Wonder of

Hollywood what was that again the boy

wondered Hollywood before that

on his way to be coming ahead of that

let's see what what did I say uh with

your financial backing I didn't ask you

yeah that's the part I'm talking about

I believe I'll pass on that but he's

your nephew yours Uncle sugar Uncle Jed

but it's thicker than water yeah that's

why I didn't care for the way he turned

down cousin Roy

I think I'll just let Jethro make it on

his own you mean you haven't heard the

news what news Jethro's had a change of

heart he has seen the light he can't

wait to handle cousin Roy

are you thinking that Roy help him oh

did you hear that question miss out of

the way

then now I can't wait to hear the answer

with your financial backing Jethro will

make cousin Roy the biggest thing in

Show Business well I'm right anxious to

help Roy fine have him in Jethro's

office in 30 minutes and we'll set the

deal

oh she Jethro turned Roy down cold how

do you intend to change his mind I'm not

worried you'll come up with something

because you're inventive you're clever

and if you don't you

know I'll go to work honey

[Music]

good good

I just don't last my 25 hand teased

hairdo give me JV Miss Hathaway told me

to give you this what's she doing here I

thought she was your chauffeur

oh I've done promoted her from chauffeur

to gopher no okay all those big

Hollywood personalities has got Gophers

if I want a sandwich or a cigar or

something I'll let her go for it

that's cute

is the Gopher better than a receptionist

that don't matter bunny honey I'm

promoting both of you to vice presidents

anyway

funny perhaps you should give JB his

eviction notice oh I almost forgot

what's the eviction notice I don't know

but it looks Marvy oh it's very Marvy it

says that unless you come up with five

thousand dollars read immediately you

will have to move out of this building

she wish I could come up with five

thousand dollars immediately

I can give you part of it tomorrow you

can yep that's the day I get my 50 cents

allowance

I'm afraid that's hardly adequate Jethro

you'd better give these girls that

notice and start talking please miss Jay

I think there's some way I can keep all

this it's hard work but I like it it's

all over Jethro what about the credit I

okay it's been canceled I hope you

haven't given up your job at the club I

was going to after all a vice president

shouldn't do a striptease

that Showbiz I'm gonna rehearse some

more uh pretty girl

[Music]

Miss Jane ain't there's some way I can

save my Empire

well there's one possibility I'll do

anything just name it what is it become

cousin Roy's agent oh he'll ruin my

International image after all could I

introduce that Ridge Runner to Elizabeth

Taylor no you couldn't you see you don't

know Elizabeth Taylor

I'll need a long time to think this over

you

seconds

that's long enough I'll do it

[Music]

being cut up pretty girl is just like a

pretty tune

I'm awfully sorry I didn't see you oh

that's all right ma'am I uh hope you

didn't hurt nothing

sweetheart lover baby doll yes baby not

you him

sweetie you're inside for Sore Eyes why

didn't you let me know you was in town

you've been staying at the house you've

been sitting right across the table from

them

I've been going to so many premieres the

life has done Blinded Me Like I said you

decide for Sore Eyes well step into my

office talent and we'll option to some

Clauses make us do a long-term

suspension

you gotta admit the boy knows his Show

Business

yes

hi gee he's cute oh thank you he's the

agent just like Jethro see if he never

told me he was married now that I've

seen his kid I can understand why

I think I got what's been holding your

back is your comfort Bumpkin image

the thing now is rock groups

some of them groups baby well there's a

Jefferson Airplane the electric prunes

Strawberry Alarm Clock the animals

that's it I'll make you part of a group

yeah if I keep eating Granny's cooking

I'll be a group all by myself don't

break my train of thought

I'm creating you a new image or

something a different color of a gopher

baby spread the word around then at 4 30

tomorrow afternoon in the offices JB

Enterprises Inc where he's going to Prem

a new app Blue Boy Roy and the Electric

Zoo

[Music]

too much

lonely

no one can tell

to hear me is this feeling

make me leave

what my heart can't conceived

[Music]

[Music]

I'm wearing my heart

pretending

[Music]

that you're

still around

Steve

[Music]

Martin sweetie Dynamite you're on your

way you're gonna be the biggest name in

Show Business

I'm sorry JB this kind of stuff ain't

for me hey call it baby you put me up

tight I'm your manager the age of your

flesh Peddler you repel it my way oh we

split you become instant has been I

guess I'll just have to take that chance

well

and your contract with me is hereby nold

and ratified

cancel all clauses some Clauses

suspensions cuties of the first part

here buys and wherefore

Jethro we have some news for you and

some advice stick with Roy and his

country music and your record Old Timers

at it again what you just seen here is a

happening this boy was a caterpillar I

turned him into a butterfly but Jethro

it's too late you blew it for me to be

your agent again it's going to take a

lot of crawling Roy your record album is

a big hit it is it's selling like

hotcakes you're going to be rich no

fooling come on let's go home and

celebrate

hey hold it Roy I said there was going

to be a lot of crawling well here it

comes look at me wrong

[Music]

well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed

and all his kin they would like to thank

you folks for kindly dropping in you're

all invited back next week to this

locality to have a heap and helping of

their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

shoes off y'all come back now dear

this has been a film waste presentation

[Music]