07x04 - Coming Through the Rye

[bunniefuu]

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Black Gold Texas Tea

well the first thing you know old Jeb's

a millionaire looking folks said Jim

move away from there said California is

a place you ought to be so the loaded up

the truck in the mood to Beverly Hills

that is swimming pools movie stars a

Beverly Hillbillies

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foreign

I've been looking all over for you you

know now that the w*r of the Roses is

over I think we ought to go to the next

castle and pay a social call on Colonel

Dunbarton this ain't the time Jed I got

the man under medical treatment what's

wrong with him he's caught fast in the

clutches of demon rum but with my help

he's quitting cold turkey you think he

can do that of course he can I send him

over a jar of Dr Daisy's cold turkey

tonic well that's a new one on me oh

it's a harmless Vegetable Compound

as long as you don't drop it or light a

match close to it are you not today then

cool are you right never felt better

feel different man since I gave up

drinking you could drink him yes thanks

to Dr Dave's cold turkey tonic what's in

that tonic a Vegetable Compound this is

a dismiss the call how can you take it

oh as required wonderful stuff you know

whenever I get that d*ck big craving for

another drink one dose of that in the

craving vanishes

what you doing in your dams on this

dress outfit I've been up that stupid

coward Hall and help save me like Jethro

say it didn't know Knight ride up to

rescue your truck you heck no I don't

think they know a damsel in distress

when I see one

well here's one I got this whole castle

to clean I'll take this and get out and

where's Jethro oh he's out front setting

up his telescope yeah let's go what you

fixing to look at oh Castle next door I

reckon

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where are you

you gotta come outside and look through

my telescope you gotta see what I've

seen over at the next Castle oh just

Uncle now why don't you come riding with

me

oh very well I'll see you both later

uncle are you sure about this stuff try

it the boy in that class there's all the

proof a man could want

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I'm in love

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who is she Jeff bro Mr Domo says she's

Colonel dunbarton's niece just visited

take a look

you're spying on them folks Colonel

dumbarton's got a telescope over to his

castle he looks at us well are we

getting the best end of this bargain

ing a lot more Jen we've done had the

w*r now he's got the love Uncle Jeff

she's the one I've been looking for all

my life

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good left brain is speechless

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I never seen one like her have you no

boy she's one of a kind take a look Chad

you ain't gonna believe it

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put some in my eye ain't gonna go away

Jed

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hard to beat her huh

if I was you I wouldn't try

another look no a sight like that sort

of stays with you

what do you think of that figure

I was just going to ask you about this a

lot of it ain't there she's all woman

Uncle Jed well so long where are you

going where would you be going if you

was in my place my doctor hey boy let me

give you some advice don't get fresh for

that girl

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foreign

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you can come out now

I said you can come out now

who me yes

you're one of the Americans yeah how

could you tell oh I've got chicken sight

now let me see your name is Jethro well

he used to be and now it's sir Jethro

you see that oh don't tell me you'll

break the spell I see it all a castle a

queen Queen Elizabeth the first she

dubbed you sir Jethro your hair's got

second side can you tell why I come here

well you are my black knight you came

here to ask me to marry you oh God

you've done it again will you marry you

I said Leo Greece yeah you rather hear

about this

where you going granny Dr Grammy this is

a professional house call where do the

next Castle I'm taking the colonel

another jar of my cold turkey tonic I

thought he'd quit drinking he did but

that niece of him would drive anybody

back to the bottle

now I rebuild your prescription oh bless

you Dr Taylor said

it's nice to see you so relaxed

does anybody else noticed the change

your niece for instance

you see that I have

a beautiful girl ravish

I think he needs glasses

drink straight from the jar

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into your heart

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[Applause]

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chanting creature make some lucky fellow

a great wife

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foreign

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yes Madam he's in the main hall there's

something wrong yeah tell me have you

ever seen Colonel dumbarton's niece many

times

this won't go no further tell me what do

you really think of her well since you

asked about it

I think Miss McGregor is one of the most

beautiful young ladies I have ever seen

you don't get to town much do you

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think

Mr Domo must have got himself a lick on

the head he thinks the Colonel's niece

is beautiful too

does figuring something wrong with that

telescope camping I seen her up close

you wouldn't believe it is she really

that uh ugly not only that ugly

she's a drunk

how is it around in a big leather bag

it's got four straws to it she was

reeling around the yard sucking on the

hind one moaning and squealing squealing

oh like a stuck pig it was revoked there

was a colonel

sitting there sober as a judge

pretending not to notice and her moaning

and screaming he oughta took steps now

don't bad mouth him Chad he's the most

loyal family man you ever heard of she

was lurching around

swishing her skirts and showing her big

hairy legs and him sitting there telling

me what a wonderful mother she'd make

right maybe we ain't got a problem if

Jethro seen her like that you know what

he's going to say

yeah granny I'm getting married you're

going to be the best man granny you're

going to be the flower girl

what did he say I can't repeat it Chad

have you seen her boy seen her I want to

be a father a father yeah she said she

wants to have 12 children oh we'll name

the first girl after you Granny oh you

don't know how that makes me feel boy

it'll look just like her you can bounce

her on your knee

when is this all going to take place she

can't wait Uncle Jeff he's getting

married tomorrow in Westminster Abbey

never seen granny so happy I gotta go

tell Ellie gonna be a taller uncle but

she's gonna tell him he's gonna give her

away

foreign

the queen 12 children I was joking he

was joking the death Pro never jokes I

better get over there I'll explain it to

him when he drops in the last time he

dropped him was from 50 feet up by

catapult

are you all right of course they're the

ones I'm worried about breaking it to

them won't be easy while at this very

moment they're probably over there

singing dancing and rejoicing

I think of that poor sweep innocent boy

Jessica

it's all my fault

I didn't beat him enough any

I always wanted his bride to wear my old

wedding dress

but on that Beast it'll look like a

lampshade

Chad you ain't seen her feet this girl

is a great big hairy drunken brute Betty

if she was a drunken brute Jethro would

have said something good with this kind

you don't kiss and tell

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[Applause]

me

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I was out for a drunken boat

I don't think she's drinking I think

she's playing

bad this morning we had a drink like

that you hate playing she seems to be

fingering the thing she's priming the

pump she can't suck it up fast enough

what's all that noise Chad

some stuff makes you whoop some make you

whole that squeal and whiskey

and emptied the bag

wait a minute

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I wonder how folks over here handle

these things

I wish Mr Drysdale Miss Jean was here it

ain't them two that she needs it's

Barnum and Bailey

have you seen her yeah and you just

answered your own question

I'm gonna be no wedding Ellie I'm gonna

talk to her uncle well he's over here

for you yes let me break it to him Chad

he's my patient and the shop could start

him drinking again I feel frightfully

embarrassed you do see the girl's

position

well now uh let me get this straight uh

the wedding is off yes and I'm terribly

sorry

oh don't give it another thought there

might be nice of you too now wait a

minute is he saying the wedding is off

that's what he said what he meant was

his niece don't want to marry my

grandson that's right

I'm afraid the girls are terrible teens

she's a heartbreaker of him I seen her

dancing outside the boy's window

flaunting her Chimes you have to excuse

granny Colonel I'll explain to her you

later uh she's a little upset

too if it was to lose 12 dear little

grandchildren yes

you keep out of this

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put it in the card again sir now we're

moving into the castle here where we can

keep an eye on the clappings I can't

blame yourself

well we sure are glad to see you

something wrong no you're just in time

for the win anything ain't gonna be

nowhere and you're just in time for the

funeral funeral

what's happened well gray just got her

back up it seems that the Colonel's

niece was going to marry Jethro but she

changed her mind no she ain't not that

sweet dear little child thank you

here she is

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Hunter the sweet little child

you Shameless

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little girl you're right she's a monster

and if the word gets around that she's

joking poor Jeffrey that won't nobody

have him but that's a boy who ever heard

of a boy

she drinks right that's not a skirt it's

a kilt the boy is from Scotland that's

how they dress let me think about that

for a minute don't she look more like a

boy than a girl

she looks more like a Nate than either

one of them excuse me granny when I see

you Miss Hathaway

we could have sued her for preacher

promise she's a boy well that's fraud we

could have collected twice

go unpack spoil sport

I don't know where the colonel didn't

tell us his niece was a nephew he didn't

want to make Jethro look stupid

I know it all along she was a boy you

did

didn't want to make you look stupid

well I guess it's all settled no it

ain't what you mean

somebody's got to break the news to poor

Jethro

yeah I should have had a talk with that

boy a long time ago

break it to him gently

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she's a what

she's a boy Jethro there's ways of

talent well I know there is

you see how she was built for sure

didn't you

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I should have that talk with you a long

time ago you sure had on it

say no time for joking I'm telling you

that girl is a boy now don't give me no

argument

yes sir Uncle Jed

she's a boy all right believe me now oh

I do I do

what are you looking at me that way for

eign

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I noticed you always try to have me

committed I'm telling the queen on you

I'm telling them

can you save him Granny I can but it'll

take a head transplant but where are you

gonna get another hand

Tower of London he's rolling in there

oh excuse me have you seen sir Jethro

who are you well I'm kind of dumbarton's

niece sneeze what you sure have changed

brian'll do that for you I'm gonna run

me off a batch excuse me I don't

understand well a minute ago you were a

great big hairy Goomer lurching and

squealing through the garden oh you saw

my brother

you're pregnant

what was that you called him Harry gumer

Harry gumer the handsomest man in

Tennessee

ready

who was this the Colonel's niece

the one with the handsome brother in the

garden

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well it sure is a relief I mean it sure

is a pleasure to meet you wait a minute

she's the one that jilted poor Jethro

all right I only did it to save him save

him yes well I'm only a commoner and

he's royalty well if he'd married me the

queen would have cut off his head

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she saved the boy's life ready

I think this calls for a celebration

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foreign

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I wonder how you know that tune it's the

time

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foreign

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they would like to thank you folks for

kindly dropping in you're all invited

back next week to this locality to have

a heap and helping of their Hospitality

hillbilly that is set a spell take your

shoes off y'all come back now here

this has been a film waste presentation

Viacom

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