13x03 - Goofy Scoopers/Pat the Dog

[bunniefuu]

Are you ready, kids?

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

- all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Hey, can we get another

Triple Gooberberry Sunrise
over here?

And don't you skimp
on the triple.

Here's your sun--

It's starting!

[laughs]

I'll take another one.

This time with less manager.

Attention,
children of all ages.

- Hello, hi!
- Hey, that's me!

- I love you, I love you!
- All ages, yay!

Put your fins together for
the cool cat on the drum kit,

Bongos Bear!

On trumpet, this bivalve
really swings.

Clem Clam!

You know him, you love him.

Eight tentacles on 88 keys,

it's Rock T. Puss.

That's our combo.

Give it up
for the Goofy Scoopers!

♪ A one and two and three
and four ♪

♪ I need more scoops,
ice cream galore ♪

♪ Or I'll banana split right
out that door ♪

♪ Don't you know,
I'm doing the Goober Rag! ♪

[screams and cheers]

I love you, Rock T. Puss!

♪ Oh, five and six and seven
and eight ♪

♪ Finish my ice cream,
licking my plate ♪

♪ Another fudge sundae
sure sounds great ♪

♪ And that is how I do
that Goober Rag! ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Nine and ten
and eleven and twelve ♪

♪ Get the Rum Raisin
off that shelf ♪

♪ I'll eat the whole tub
all on my own ♪

♪ And I don't even need
a cone ♪

♪ Don't you know, that's how ♪

♪ Can't you see,
I'm doing it now ♪

♪ I'm coming, I'm going,
I'm doing the Goober Rag! ♪

[cheering]

All right, boys, time to go.

You can't kick us out.

We've been coming here
since we were kids.

Yeah, we're the
Goofy Scoopers' biggest fans.

Well, that's your problem.

Closing time.

[both crying]

You don't have to go home,

but you can't stay here.

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

This stinks.

I wanted to go backstage
for an autograph.

Don't worry, Patrick.

We'll just come back and see
the Goofy Scoopers tomorrow.

[rooster crows]

[sighs]

- Good morning.
- [screams]

I don't carry cash!

Huh? It's you two.

We camped out all night
to see the Gooey Sneakers.

Goofy Scoopers.

Yeah, them!

They're gonna write on my head.

Well...

about that.

[mischievous music]

Ee... yup.

{\an8}The Goofy Scoopers are over.

{\an8}Too old fashioned.
The kids want a new sound.

{\an8}both: A new sound?

{\an8}That's right, I brought in an
act you're going to flip over.

Say hello to...

DJ 2 Sc00pz!

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

Sorry,
but the Goofy Scoopers

are the only ice cream themed
musical robot act

we'll ever love.

[rhythmic grunting]

Patrick, don't give in

to its seductive
womp-womps and wub-wubs.

Please, Mr. Manager,

you have to tell us
where the Scoopers are.

Are they playing
at a coffee house?

Are they playing
the Bikini Bottom Bowl?

Or on a world tour?

Oh, my, no.

I threw those old robots
in the garbage.

They're never playing anywhere again.

[both crying]

All right, you're k*lling
the atmosphere in here.

Please do all your crying outside.

[grunts]

Wait a minute, Patrick.

I have a plan.

We can stop crying.

Well, I wasn't crying.

I was just...

flushing my eyes.

You were saying?

We are gonna get the
Goofy Scoopers back together

for a reunion show.

Then everyone will remember
how great they were.

But we don't know
where they are.

True, but we do know
how they got to where they were

before they went
wherever they are.

Hmm? Hmm? Ah.

I'm confused, but I
appreciate your confidence.

Count me in!

Ow.

[beeping]

[humming]

Huh.

[engine rumbles]

[tires squealing]
Huh?

Sorry about borrowing
your truck!

We have to save some robots
from the trash

so our favorite band
can get back together.

I'm sure you understand.

Eh, that sounds reasonable.

[upbeat music]

[both grunting]

Hey, what you boys doing
to my precious junk?

Sorry, sir.

I was just looking
for some robot musicians.

And I was looking for food.

You gonna eat this hot dog?

Well, I don't know nothing
about music-men,

but I do remember one robot
fella coming through here.

Nice guy.

Sold him to the circus
for about $3.50.

Patrick, it's our first clue.

We gotta get to the circus.

Great, 'cause I just found
the mayo.

[gulps]

Hey, what are you doing
in my precious junkyard?

[lively music]

Patrick, it's Clem Clam.

Let's get him.

W-w-wait, Patrick.

We're here to make friends
with him, don't you remember?

Obviously, I do not.

How are we gonna get him
to play the show?

I got it!

We'll appeal to his intellect

with sound reasoning
and convincing arguments.

- Please!
- We need you.

You gotta come back,
you just gotta.

You can cool it, cats.

Whatever your scheme is,
I'm in.

Just get me out of this
crazy circus.

I'm terrified of clowns, man.

[honking]

[laughs]

[shudders]

Well, that's great,
Mr. Clem Clam,

because tomorrow night, we're
getting the band back together.

Reunion show tomorrow night
at Goofy Goober's.

So far, you're the only one
we've found, though.

You know, the circus's
least flexible contortionist

saw Bongos Bear at that massage
place downtown, man.

It's true--ow...

Great, come on, Patrick.

I feel another plan forming.

- [laughs]
- Wait, take me with you, man.

- Ahh!
- [snickers]

Ugh.

[relaxing music]

Uh, yes, my wife and I are
here for the couples massage.

- [giggles]
- Say...

aren't you Bongos Bear
from the Goofy Scoopers?

Son, you got the wrong
robot bear.

I don't even like music.

I just give massages.

Don't forget
to work my glutes.

[shudders]

[rhythmic grunts]

[bongo sounds]

All right, all right,
you win.

I am Bongos Bear.

And I got music in my cold,
robotic heart.

both: Yay!

Well, you're in luck,
'cause Patrick and I

are getting your band
back together.

Yeah, but we still gotta find
the piano octopus.

Oh, that's easy.

A construction worker
with lumbago told me

Rock is working on the bridge
to Shell City now.

It's true--ow...

- Rock?
- Rock T. Puss?

[panicked screams]

This stinks.

Bongos lied.
I don't see him anywhere.

- Hey!
- Get out of here.

I'm on the job.

Rock T. Puss,

we're SpongeBob and Patrick;
we're your biggest fans.

Yeah, right.

No one remembers my music.

That's okay.

I don't remember anything.

Look, kids,
I'm a working robot now.

The only bands I care about
are the boats on this bridge.

Their honking horns

are the only applause
I'll ever need again.

[horn blares]

- Um...
- Oh, that was me.

Sorry, I blame the hot dog.

Oh, please, Mr. Puss.

We're getting the Goofy
Scoopers back together

for a reunion show.

We need you.

The answer is no.

I'm a bridge now.
Get out of here.

- [sighs]
- [whimpers]

[upbeat music]

Hey, guys.

Where's Rock?

Oh, he's not coming.

Wha?

I don't know if we can do this
without Rock T. Puss.

Don't worry,
we'll be playing with you.

It'll be fun.

Here's the new piece I wrote.

We're gonna come in hot
off the intro,

so try to keep up.

Huh.

[guitar feedback]

[heavy rock music]

♪ Ice cream, so tasty ♪

♪ Freezing in my mouth ♪

♪ Icy pain inside my brain ♪

♪ Won't you help me out? ♪

♪ I have a brain freeze,
I have a brain freeze ♪

♪ I have a brain freeze,
help me with my brain freeze ♪

♪ ♪

Can I have another sundae, please?

[crowd booing]

They are not digging it, man.

We told you guys to keep up.

[mysterious tones]

[triumphant music]

[laughs]

Rock T. Puss, you came.

Sorry I left you hanging, guys.

I did like being a bridge.

But I was built to make music.

Say, how is the bridge?

Eh, I'm sure its fine.

[comical tones]

[panicked screams]

Now, let's rock.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[crowd booing]

The kids still don't like it.
What do we do?

Huh?

Maybe I can help with that.

I'm DJ 2 Sc00pz,

and I'm a huge
Goofy Scoopers fan.

Care to jam?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

both: Best
Goofy Scoopers show ever!

[sweeping orchestral music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

[animal sounds]

Hello, animal control.

Ew.

SpongeBob, I appreciate

you volunteering here
at the animal shelter,

but could you please stop
letting the worms

use the phone?

Oh, I told them no more
takeout calls.

[belches]

[groans]

Now, how can I help you?

There's a worm
somewhere outside my house,

and it won't stop barking.

I'll get on that right away.

[animal sounds]

I gotta go catch a stray.

SpongeBob, you hold down
the fort.

Sir, yes, sir.

I will take care
of these wild worms

to the best of my ability.

[laughs]

[sighs]

[laughing]

[humming]

[playful music]

- [gasps]
- Uh-oh.

B-B-Butcher's cage.

[nervous whimpering]

- [barks]
- [screams]

Butcher?

I know you're really
a good boy.

Just let me pet you,

real gentle.

That a boy.

[growls and snarls]

[gasps]

I hope he doesn't develop
a taste for sponge.

[screams]

[upbeat music]

[animal sounds]

[straining]

[barking]

Whoa--whoa!

- [barking]
- Whoa-whoa.

[barking]

Patrick.

Yeah, aw--who's a good boy?

Who's a good boy?

[panting]
Huh?

Patrick's my friend.

Sometimes if he's eaten
worm food by mistake,

he's goes into worm mode.

[growls]

There's no telling how long
it'll last.

Well, if he's not trained
in a few days

so he can be adopted,
he'll have to be locked up,

like Butcher.

[growls]

Don't worry, sir.

I'll train him.
He's already housebroken.

[liquid trickling]

[nervous laughs]
I knew he was broken.

I thought it was house.

Uh...

[playful music]

Now, Patrick,

every good worm needs to learn
how to do tricks.

Then they get wormy treats
as a reward.

Sit.

[excited barks]

Um... almost.

Let's try another one.

Shake.

[excited barks]

- [pants]
- Shall we try roll over?

[excited barks]

Patrick, wait.

[crashing]

[playful music]

♪ ♪

Rolling Star Express,
right on time.

[pants]

I know one wormy
that needs a bath.

[growls]

Okay, okay, no bath, no bath.

Here, Patrick.

Worms learn from other worms.

They'll show you
how to be a good boy.

[playful music]

Hmm?

[sophisticated barks]

[cheers]

[gasps]

[barks]

Huh?

This worm is a menace.

I'm afraid he'll have to be
locked up,

like Butcher.

Please don't do that.

I'll adopt him.
I'll take him home.

He'll be my rescue.

And you'll take full
responsibility for him?

- [pants]
- I promise.

Well, that's good.

I really didn't want to have
to fix him, anyway.

[excited barks]

Thank you, thank you.

Patrick, whoa, boy.

Heel.

Sorry.

Oh, Gary...

I brought you a playmate.

[meows]

[barks]

- [screeches]
- [barks]

[animal sounds]

Patrick, Gary, no, stop.

[barking]

Hmm?

[meows]

[barking]

[dramatic music]

[playful music]

[barking]

[rooster crows]

SpongeBob!

[pounds on door]

Come on.

[groans]
I'm sorry.

Was the noise bothering you?

[barking]

[energized music]

Patrick, heel.

[yells]

[barking]

[gasping]

Jeez.

[meows]

Huh. Look.

I don't care what kind
of weird and stupid parties

you throw, I'm just asking that
you keep your pet quiet.

I am at my wit's end.

Patrick is in worm mode again.

But this time,
he's out of control.

Oh, any worm can be tamed.

Even one as dumb as Patrick.

He just needs tough love.

Would you tough-love Patrick,
Squidward?

No way.

[barking]

Please, Squidward.

I bet you're the best
worm trainer ever.

Please.

[laughs]

Beg me.

[barks]

Okay, sit.

Huh?

Well, I'm a good idiot trainer.

And since Patrick's an idiot...

Okay, I'll train him.

But only if you play dead--

[gasps]

[laughs]
And stay playing dead.

I've got an idiot to train.

[playful tone]

[straining]

We'll start with something simple.

I'll teach you how to heel.

Now... be a good boy.

[growls]

[screams]

Heel--stop!

- Heel.
- [growls]

[playful music]

All right, that's it.

[energized music]

[pants]

Have a nice life.

[coyote howls]

[playful music]

- [hums]
- Hi, Squidward.

I'm still playing dead.
[laughs]

[hums]

Tough love.
[laughs]

Huh?
[pounding on door]

[pants]

[winces]

[playful tone]

This, my little barking friend,

is a shock collar.

Whenever you bark,
I'll push this button

and give you
a mild tough-love shock.

[pants]

Hmm?

Nothing?

Oh, it must be broken.

[grunts]

Nuts.

[screams]

[barks]

[energized music]

♪ ♪

[barks]

[playful music]

Still playing dead.

[mutters]

[screams]

- [growls]
- [nervous whimper]

[energized music]

[grunts]

- Oh.
- [barks]

[pants]

[playful music]

[pants]

[whimpers]

[barks]

Excuse, Mr. Squidward.

SpongeBob tells me
that you've trained Patrick

using tough love.

Patrick? He's impossible.

I've tried to get him to sit--

[barks]

Hmm...

Okay, well, then I tried to get
him to beg--

[pants]

Spin.

Now shake.

[grunts]

Cheerleader split.

[fanfare]

- Chicken.
- [chicken sounds]

Chicken nugget.

Air guitar.

[rock music]

[pants]

[laughs]

Now play dead.

What? You did it.

You're a miracle worker.

Well, I don't like to brag,
but--

That's great.

We've got a problem worm
that needs training.

- What?
- [whistles]

Bring him in, fellas!

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Say hello to Butcher.

[screams]

[animal sounds]

Heel, heel!

Ah, stop--heel, heel--
fetch, heel, heel!

Hey, you're not a worm anymore.

Nah, I snapped out of it
hours ago.

I just wanted Squidward to feel
like he did a good job.

All right, that's enough.

- I'll teach you!
- Yeah, I hope Squidward's

- not too tough on him.
- Will you sit--good dog sit.

Will you sit? No--don't.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Nice day for a walk.

[both gasp]

♪ ♪