01x04 - MegaMayor

[bunniefuu]

[neon buzzing]

- [line straining]
- [grunting]

- Huh?
- Hello.

[screams]

[theme song playing]

♪ Supervillain,
ahead of his time ♪

♪ Incredibly handsome
genius, criminal mastermind ♪

♪ But now he's all cleaned
up and fighting crime ♪

♪ A superhero that
you stream online ♪

♪ It's Megamind ♪

♪ Oh, it feels good
to be good this time ♪

♪ It's Megamind ♪

♪ Oh, it's Megamind ♪

♪ Rules! ♪

♪♪

Roxanne: Yes, I am
aware of the damage,

and we're working on it.

Were you aware that we're
giving away a free coffee

to anyone inconvenienced
by a Megamind battle?

- Let me in, Christina!
- Oh, no, no, no!

We have a very strict
no nuisance policy!

[musical beeping] According
to my nuisance detector,

you're actually the nuisance,

and your readings
are off the charts!

- You let me go!
- [sighs] Congratulations, guys.

You're both
nuisances! Let him in.

I... Ah!

You did that on purpose.

She's crazy busy
dealing with the people

mad at the damage you caused
playing hero out there,

so make this quick.

Ah-chnoo-sance!

[scoffs] That was
not a real sneeze.

Roxie, I have some
tech that will help us

keep Metrocity safer than
a baby in bubble wrap.

I'm happy you're excited
about your invention,

but I'm slammed today.

I swear, I don't think I could
handle just one more thing.

[news music playing] - Lady
Doppler [on computer]: Attention!

This is an evil weather alert!

Good morning, Metro City!

- Ooh! Lady Doppler...
- Shh!

I have a forecast for today.

Dark and stormy over
the mayor's office.

The map says sunshine.

She always was
terrible at weather.

And for Roxanne Ritchi,

the tattletale former reporter

who got me fired
all those years ago,

- 100% chance of revenge!
- [zapping, fizzling]

She's good.

Hey, just because I'm
a hero doesn't mean

I've lost my appreciation
for quality treachery.

She shot lightning at me!
And, yes, I did get her fired.

But now, I have to
arrange a bodyguard,

cancel public appearances,
probably build a bunker.

There, there. Relax your boo-tay
on that ergonomic chair, Roxie.

Stopping baddies is
my bag. Fear not!

It's easy for you
to say, "Fear not."

You're walking around all
safe with a pew-pew ray g*n.

It's more of a
chick a-pow ray g*n.

But, my wits protect this
city more than my weapon.

Which brings me to the
purpose of my visit.

- My new gadget.
- [whirring]

- [mysterious music playing]
- [zapping]

Ow!

[zap]

[grunts] Huh? What the?

I look... like... you.

[blinking]

- Why do you look like me?
- Switcheroo microchips!

The hottest new crime-stopping
tech from yours truly.

[gasps] And sound like
me. I-I sound like you!

It's a twist on the
disguise generator.

Explain any scenario in
which this would be useful.

It's... great for a
good bamboozlement.

Can't you just turn it off?!

It's more of a wear-off thing.

How long does it last?

- A few days, tops.
- Days?!

I'm the mayor! I have people
waiting to see me now.

Don't be such a nervous Nadine.

How hard is it being
mayor of Metrocity?

First, it's
pronounced Metro City.

- [intercom buzzes]
- [yelps, groans]

- Second, don't let the intercom scare you.
- [beep]

Christina [on intercom]: Madam Mayor, the
gentleman from the parking garage is here.

Great. He's already upset about
you blowing up his garage.

Why? The jaywalker's getaway
car was parked there.

So were a thousand other cars!

I won't apologize
for being thorough.

You will do exactly as I say.

This stays hush-hush.

If anyone finds out,

it'll seem like I'm not
in control of the city.

- And that's the last... Whoa. Whoa!
- [thud]

Oh... [sighs] Your
head is so big.

It's like balancing a
turkey on a toothpick!

♪♪

[door creaks]

You need to find me a
new place to park cars!

Just park them in the park.
It's right there in the name.

- I'm allowed to do that?
- I do it all the time.

It's not like there's
a law against it.

Roxie-As-Megamind: There's
absolutely a law against it!

He can't park cars
in the public park!

Is this thing on?

- [sotto] Yes, it's on.
- Huh?

[normal] The things I say under
my breath are not for you.

Roxie-As-Megamind: Your
request is not possible.

Your request is not possible.

Roxie-As-Megamind: Thank
you for stopping by.

Thank you for stopping by.

[sotto] Really? That's it? Can I
give him a muffin or something?

- I'd like a muffin.
- No muffin.

I withdraw my offer of muffins.

Figures. I had a feeling
you'd do nothing for me.

If I remember to vote,
It won't be for you.

[slams door]

Let me tell you something I
learned in the few seconds

I've been mayor. People
like to hear "yes."

It's all that "no" stuff
that makes you unpopular.

No wonder you're stressed
out all the time.

This should be an easy job.

The job would be a lot
easier without all of your

swing-by-the-seat-of-your-pants
antics.

Now, you're attacking
pants antics,

the one sport I'm good at!

Give me this pew-pew ray g*n,

and I'd do 10 times
the saving you do

with half the damage!

Ha! Maybe a 13%
reduction. At most.

[door opens]

[gasps]

- [gasps]
- [chair squeaking]

[casual music playing]

O-Okay... Uh,

there are more angry people
here who wanna complain to you.

- Let them in.
- Get rid of them.

The mayor isn't
really feeling well,

and we thought maybe
she should rest.

I've made a remarkable recovery!

Christina, send in
the complainers!

Don't you have to
present Keiko Morita

with the Citizen Heroism Award?

I don't see that here.

That's because the defender
of the city gives that medal.

You must be getting
our schedules confused

- for no real reason at all.
- You heard the mayor!

- [shoes squeak]
- Playtime is over! Move it!

- But... But...
- Let's go, let's go! Brilliant retort, as always.

- Do nothing. Say nothing.
- [door slams]

Ugh, and let her wallow in
the hatred of her citizenry?

No. I will make Roxanne Ritchie

the most popular mayor
in Metrocity history!

- [maniacal laugh]
- [dramatic music playing]

- [door opens]
- [dramatic music stops]

Are you speaking
in third person?

Maybe. Megamind does it,

and he's way cooler than you.

♪♪

- Roxie-As-Megamind: Metro... AH.
- [feedback]

Metrocity is fortunate enough

to have someone
as brave as Keiko

among its citizens.

Or ci-tie-zens.

And let's not forget the
importance of a good mayor

'cause you've got one. She
can be overlooked, you know.

She's really doing
everything she can

about all the
damage. Or de-mage.

[confused chatter]

Anyway, for her bravery

in helping stop
the Doom Syndicate,

I present Keiko Morita
with this award.

- Let's hear it for her, Metrocity!
- [Keiko gasps]

[cheering and applause]

Roxanne?

No. I'm Megamind.

Keiko: I appreciate
you taking time

from throwing darts
at the mayor's picture

to give me this award.

He does that?!

Aha! You are Roxanne!

[sighs] Okay, okay.

[sighs] He tried some
switcheroo tech on me,

and it's not wearing off.

And how is that a bad thing?

Oh, I'd love to be
Megamind for a day.

Chasing bad guys, zapping
stuff with the pa-pow ray g*n.

Oh, you know what? We should
totally stop some crimes!

No! I need to get
back to my office.

He's at my desk,
looking like me,

and I have to make sure he
doesn't do any mayor stuff!

You could do that,

or you could not be
a totally lame person

and stop some crimes!

- Yeah, but...
- Hear me out.

This could also help
Megamind's web channel.

I need some content where
he's a little more personable,

and that comes naturally to you.

Thanks, I get it, but we
shouldn't press our luck.

- Also, his pants are really tight.
- [pants squeaking]

I've got a
super-wedgie going on.

So sorry I'm late, Sir.

I was trying to butter toast
with some very cold butter.

- Oh, it's fine.
- No, it's not!

I'm a terrible sidekick.

♪♪

Oh. Um, you know, I
don't say this enough,

but I appreciate you.

Sir? Are you okay?

- Maybe we should check your temperature.
- [radio beeps]

Officer [on radio]: Attention, all
units. Purse snatching in progress.

Shall we pursue, Sir?

Oh, I don't think
that's a very good...

Dude! You gotta spend
time in Megamind's shoes,

- see how it feels.
- Uh,

pretty sure he does
that every day, Keiko.

I guess this could be a chance

to prove that it is
possible to save the day

without causing so much
pain-in-the-mayoral-rear damage.

[ray g*n whirs] - Plus, I get
to fire the pew-pew ray g*n.

I thought we agreed it was
more of a chick a-pow ray g*n.

- [pop song playing on radio]
- [gasps]

Oh, uh, sorry, Sir. I
know you hate this song.

I don't, actually.

Just yesterday,

you said it was the national
anthem of throwing up.

Well, I've changed
my mind. It's catchy.

Makes me wanna dance
in my too-tight pants.

- Turn it up.
- Okay, then!

[engine roaring] - Can I get
a "waka waka woo" up in here?!

♪ Waka waka woo ♪

[phone ringing]

- Mayor's office.
- [phone chatter]

You want to place a giant snow
globe in the art district?

In the middle of the street?
In the middle of summer?!

- I can't think of a single reason why not! Yes!
- [phone ringing]

- You've got the mayor.
- [phone chatter]

Parking enforcement
is overwhelmed?

- Well, I say yes to giving them the day off!
- [phone ringing]

Dog lovers wanna hold a
rally in the city square?

- That's a big yes!
- [phone ringing]

Cat lovers wanna hold a
rally in the city square?

The more the merrier!
Y-E-S spells yes!

Whee!

[dramatic music playing]

[panting] I need to
hit the gym more!

[groans]

Please stop! I have
a rock in my boot!

[tires screech, cars honk]

[grunting]

Uh-oh. Getting the pukies.

[gasps] I'm never
gonna catch this guy.

Time for old pew-pew!

[whirring]

- [zapping]
- Wh-Whoa! Whoa! Ah!

[zapping]

Huh?

♪♪

- [zapping]
- Chum.

What do you think is the best
setting on this right now?

You're asking my opinion, Sir?

He turned down the next block!

Chum, cut him off! I
need a good ending.

[panting]

- Roxie-As-Megamind: Ha, ha!
- Huh?

- Got you!
- [scared yelp]

- [zapping]
- [struggling, yelling]

- Oh... [gasps]
- [whirring]

♪♪

[laughs] See ya!

- [clang]
- [grunts]

Woo! What a rush!

And I have to say, I don't
think we did that much damage.

[distant siren]

- [rumbling]
- [people screaming]

[dramatic music playing]

- Ooh, we did much damage.
- [car alarms blare]

Now, give us a pose and a line.

Um...

Remember, I did
not do this alone.

It took all three of us to
stop this purse snatcher.

[heroic sting]

He was very fast.

A Megamind who takes direction.

This is a dream!

[expl*si*n]

[sirens wailing]

[upbeat rock music playing]

Hey-hey!

You know what is going
to send Roxanne's...

Uh, I mean my approval
ratings through the roof?

Showmanship!

["The Polka Dot Llama" playing]

♪ Bing bop, biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo ♪

♪ Bing bop, biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo ♪

♪ My polka dot llama
likes to play ♪

♪ He runs all night ♪

♪ And sleeps all day ♪

♪ When I get lost,
he knows the way ♪

♪ And this is what
he has to say ♪

♪ Bing bop, biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo ♪

♪ Bing bop, biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo ♪

♪ My llama loves
the circus ring ♪

♪ He jumps around,
bing bong bing ♪

♪ Eats hay all day like a king ♪

♪ And this is what
he likes to sing ♪

♪ Bing bop, biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo... ♪

- [fizzling]
- [gasps]

Doppler: I promise, your
next public appearance

is going to be electrifying!

- [screaming]
- [expl*si*n]

[dramatic sting]

Oh, Megamind.

Have you always been this
strong, smart, and appealing?

Thank you for
sending my popularity

- into the stratosphere!
- [news music playing]

Anchor [on TV]: Megamind
has been at it again.

- Citizens are fed up. The meal?
- [people screaming]

Megamind's excessive
destruction.

He turned me into
a bullion cube.

My doctor says I'm not
supposed to be a bullion cube.

What in the name
of Darwin's donut?

- She's ruining my rep! Roxie!
- [beep]

- Come in.
- I'm here.

We're just stuck in some
sort of traffic nightmare.

[cars honking]

What exactly have you
been doing out there?

It's taken a lot of work
to make you popular,

and you're destroying
the city in my name?

I am not... Wait.

What do you mean,
make me popular?

Have you been mayoring?

[nervous laugh] Funny story.

I might have made
some appearances.

- Appearances? As in more than one appearance?
- [cars honking]

And maybe changed
some parking laws.

[people yelling]

[dramatic music playing]

Ah!

Did you approve of that gaudy
art snow globe I kept rejecting?

Apparently, people
love giant things

where they're not
supposed to be.

- I don't get it either.
- [muffled crowd yelling]

- Hey, move it!
- Get outta the road!

I gotta get to work here!

There's a w*r brewing
outside, ma'am!

[crowd yelling]

You said dog rally,
not cat rally.

Dogs aren't smart
enough to rally!

This is preposterous.

Why can't you all get
along? Like cats and dogs!

[crowd yelling]

We should get you
back inside, ma'am.

I'm reaping what I've sown.

Things are coming back
to bite me in the butt.

- I've created a monster. And other clichés!
- [beep]

- Roxie-As-Megamind: What's happening?
- So, listen. Sure,

I did some mayoring wrong, and
now they all hate me or you.

[sighs] W-We're gonna
have to fix this.

The people need to hear from
their calm, collected mayor.

Megamind-As-Roxie: I don't
know how to quell the masses.

Remember, they're
looking for leadership.

First, get a podium
in front of you.

[thud]

[tapping, feedback]

Now, give a speech
that's stern but fair.

Citizens of Metrocity.

Start acting civilized
or feel my wrath!

- [all gasp]
- No!

Do not threaten the citizens.

[thunder cracking]

[gasps]

- [dramatic music playing]
- [thunder clapping]

Oh, good. Lady Doppler
just showed up.

Didn't you say you'd handle her?

Sorry. I got distracted by
the whole becoming you thing.

Good news is she's after me now,

so you're it.

Fine. You calm the mob.

I think I've spent
enough time in your shoes

to keep this weather
witch at bay.

[thunder crackling]

- [evil laughter]
- [electricity fizzling]

[dramatic crescendo]

[crowd yelling]

[quietly] Roxie,
they're staring at me

with their ordinary
eyes. What do I say?

Megamind! Your girlfriend
shoulda worn a raincoat

'cause a blizzard's
coming to City Hall!

A raincoat for snow?

Do you even know
what weather is?

A raincoat for snow?

Do you even know
what weather is?

[sotto] That was for
Doppler, not you.

Hey, Doppler, here's
a forecast for you.

A butt-kicking front coming in
with a 100% chance of defeat!

[sotto] You're getting some
great lines in on Doppler,

but I need great lines, too.

- Feel my thunder! [Yells]
- Ah!

- Oh!
- [ear microchip clattering]

♪♪

- [static]
- Hello? Hello?!

Not ideal.

You do realize that was
lightning, not thunder, right?

Catch me if you can.

[laughing]

["Polka Dot Llama"
playing on radio]

We can't let her
get to Megamind!

She's already gotten
past you, Sir.

- Way past, in fact.
- Uh, I meant Roxanne.

- Let's go!
- [dramatic music playing]

- Hello? Hello?
- [crowd yelling]

I gotta say something.

Citizens of Metro... Ci... ty.

[yelling stops]

I think you're all wonderful.

And marvelous! And

really cool and stuff.

- The end. And mic drop?
- [feedback]

[confused chatter]

♪♪

Not one more step.

I got you, Gail.

Really?

[beep]

[fizzling, clang]

Womp, womp. Oh, what
happened to you?

You used to be better than this.

- Pathetic!
- [yelps, grunts]

- [evil laughter]
- [dramatic sting]

- [booing]
- Christina: Okay, okay!

Everyone, just calm down!

- [fruit flying]
- Ma'am,

I advise you to open your
mouth and let words come out.

What would Roxanne do?

She wouldn't vaporize
anyone, so that's out.

She would also say "no" a lot.

♪♪

Ollo... Hello. How's it going?

- [crowd booing]
- Okay, okay.

You're mad because I used
to say "no" too much,

and now, I've said
"yes" too much.

What I've learned is there's
a time for each of those,

and now is a "no" time.

Like no division.

We can all work together
to make things easier.

- Eh, I don't know about that.
- She's not wrong.

What about no
fighting? That's good!

If you're a dog lover, don't
fight with the cat lovers.

They're just like you,

only they prefer to love an
animal that actively hates them

and goes to the bathroom
in a box in their home.

The point is,
we're all the same.

We're all weird, but,
you know, a-a good weird.

And if we can all imagine
walking in each other's shoes,

maybe we can learn to appreciate

and respect each
other's weirdness.

Then, none of us are
weird! We're just us.

- Metrocity!
- [cheering]

- [thunder rumbles]
- [crowd gasps]

- [zapping]
- [crowd screams]

♪♪

We interrupt this boring
speech for a weather alert.

An earthquake's a-comin'!

An earthquake isn't weather.

- Why is everybody on my case today?
- [fizzling]

[gasps] Roxie is in
danger. Let's go!

You go. I'm sure it'll be easier

to defeat Lady
Doppler without me.

That doesn't sound
like you, Sir.

Yeah, we're gonna need
confident Megamind back.

But my pew-pew ray g*n is
busted. [Blows raspberry]

Pardon my language,
but g*n shmun.

[cat yowls]

It's your wits that
protect the city, Sir,

not your weapon.

Well, as Keiko knows,

I'm not quite feeling
like myself today.

But even if you're feeling
like, oh, say Roxanne today,

you know that Roxanne is
at least as smart as you.

Huh.

You're right.

I am as smart as Roxanne.

Not sure I understand, but
I agree with the message!

You're the master of
plans and schemes.

I'm certain you can
come up with a way

to contain Lady
Doppler's weather attack.

Contain the
weather... That's it!

The mayor may have
been terrible today,

but she gave us just the tool
we need to defeat Doppler!

Plans and schemes!
That's my Sir!

[dramatic music playing]

[struggling]

You're about to
lose in a landslide!

[whooshing, zapping]

That's clearly a tornado.

And again, landslide?
Not weather!

I'm exhausted
correcting this woman.

Aw, unfortunately, there's no
time for an official recall.

Let's just skip to the
part where you're ousted!

[gasps]

Looks like the sky
is clearing up.

Didn't I already defeat you?

You destroyed my
g*n, not my mind.

Nothing a change in
weather pattern can't fix.

Ah! [Whimpers]

[thunder rumbling]

Chum! Snow globe!

[grunts, yells]

[Lady Doppler grunts]

Yes!

[screaming]

I think I'm gonna
be sick! [Retches]

Doppler out. [Whimpers]

That's a wrap, everybody!

[upbeat music playing]

Outstanding work.

Specifically the saving me part.

[laughs] I even had a cool line!

Looks like the sky
is clearing up!

Crowd: Megamind!
Megamind! Megamind!

[sighs] It sounds so beautiful.

Like angels.

You calmed them down
all on your own.

That's great.

They were chanting your
name earlier, I swear.

Looks like Metrocity
loves us both once again.

Bring it in, team.

I love this new
in-touch-with-your-feelings Sir.

Let's not get too used to it.
Maybe just special occasions.

- [upbeat music playing]
- [whirring]

[soft music playing]

[crowd cheering]

Roxie: Thank you!

Now, I hate to be
a "mayor downer..."

Get it? Like major...
[sighs] Never mind.

Parking rules are back in effect
and fines will be doubled.

- I gotta move my car!
- I can't afford a ticket!

- [car doors slam]
- [tires squeal]

Thanks for the opportunity, Sir.

- From now on, this song will be ours.
- ["Polka Dot Llama" playing]

♪ Bing bop, Biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

No, no, no, no. Not the
national anthem of throwing up!

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka
woo, my llama... ♪

[song stops] - Your
ever-changing personality remains

a wonderful mystery to me, Sir.

["Polka Dot Llama" playing]

♪ Bing bop, Biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo ♪

♪ Bing bop, Biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo ♪

♪ Now, a cow can moo, moo! ♪

♪ And a dove does coo, coo! ♪

♪ And a ghost goes boo, boo! ♪

♪ But this is what my llama
says with a giggle or two ♪

♪ Bing bop, Biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo ♪

♪ Bing bop, Biddy
biddy bing bop ♪

♪ Zing zoo, waka waka woo! ♪