01x13 - High Camp/Sneeze, Please

[bunniefuu]

Where nobody knows.

Ain't no burger stand, ain't no just go

back on the island where

nobody goes.

Of course I'll be all right. I spent my

whole life on this island. Yeah, but you

could fall off a Cliff. You could get

lost. You could be eaten by some crazed

carnivorous plants.

OK, so they're not crazed or

carnivorous, but there are plants out

there and some of them are really big.

I'll be OK. I'm collecting

butterflies, not going on a lion hunt.

Besides, I work best alone.

King. Me. What? I don't believe

it. Believe what you say. This stinks.

Life in the big city. Girl.

Whoops.

Sorry.

Hey you movies, did you

see me? No, believe

what you see. That's cheating life on the

little island girl setting.

Island setting. I win.

How do you win all the time? Hi, I'm

going into the mountains collecting

butterflies. The blue swallowtail is due

to pupate and there's a particular

subspecies I need to round up my

collection. Butterflies. I love

butterflies. I pick one off the front of

my daddy's car once. Count me in. It'll

be waiting to treacherous rivers,

climbing gigantic peaks, and fending off

ferocious animals. Count me out, big

shitty babe. Afraid of a little camp out?

No, I was just afraid of a little hike. A

short walk in the woods. Look, Your Royal

Highness, I'm up to taking any

challenge you're up to. I'm going,

but I I'm going to. Oh,

great. I'll need more food.

I just don't know if we've done the right

thing letting young OG go off on an

expedition by himself. He'll be all

right. Ogs. A brick, a tower of

will. Philosophically speaking, no harm

could possibly come to him, to

paraphrase Mr. Nietzsche. But

we'll we'll win in the end. Well,

I'm going to save him. Careful. The

plants are probably on the attack right

now.

Oh my poor hands, they are

so tired.

Big city girl all pooped out. That's OK.

You can always wimp out. Are you kidding?

I just got started. I can do this

forever. Are we there yet?

Almost. This fool weighs a ton for you to

stay overnight. You'll want to be

prepared overnight. You mean as in

sleep on the ground?Big city girl

finally cracks. I'm not cracking.

It's just that. How are we going to

sleep? It's so dark at night. No St.

lamps, no neon, nothing but stars,

no noise, no traffic, no sirens, no

lights blinking in your window. With all

that peace and quiet, I'll be up all

night. Say, how much camping

have you done? I once camped that on a

sidewalk waiting for concert tickets.

But at least there weren't any bugs. How

do you feel about snakes? Hate them, but

they don't scare me. Then you won't mind

looking down.

Spiders, Snakes. The great thing about

camping is you never know what's coming

next. Could be anything. Lions,

tigers, bears. No problem. I've been

to a zoo. Bet you've never seen a woolly

mountain elephant. There's no woolly

mountain elephant. Biggest, meanest,

fiercest animals known to man been known

to attack for no known reason. They've

sooner stuck on you than look at you.

There's no woolly mountain elephants.

Is there? I'm starting to like this trip.

You know, this mountain climbing is not

so bad. It's all a matter of will.

Yeah, as in goat will push your ham

hocks up this hill.

Well, we should go around. It's a detour

. 3 miles. But it might be worth it.

Yeah, you're right. What little

Princess afraid of getting her feet wet?

I've seen more water in a pothole. It's

deeper. Than it looks.

Wow.

Welcome to the greatest. Outdoors.

You need me help? No, no, I got it.

Do you need any help? No, I

got it.

I'm going to hunt for the blue

Swallowtail. Your dad would be proud.

You go get food. Where's the Chinese take

out when you need it? Let's see,

we got branches. Shorter branches,

big rocks, little rocks, dirt, Moss,

slugs, snails.

Oh well, at least it's fat free.

Great, back where I started,

lost on a lost island.

Run Wooly Mountain Nelson Run.

Look out.

Boo, got you.

Big city girls afraid of the mountain

elephant? I got your

mountain elephant.

Alex Camp. No trouble there.

Pig and spiny, no trouble there. And a

very large mountain elephant.

That's trouble.

Nothing's out there. There's no huge

sharp tooth, angry monsters in the trees.

Nothing's going to eat me. There's

nothing to be afraid of. What's

that? What? That's my finger

pointing. Having trouble

sleeping? No, I was just saving a moment

in the wilderness. Well, turn that thing

off before you tracked all the woolly

mountain elephants on the island. Stop it

with a woolly mountain elephant gag. It's

getting really old. Hey, you don't have

to believe me. Just turn off the light.

Hey Ock, you awake?

Are there really woolly mountainelephants?

Great, thanks, that puts my mind at ease.

Gonna get her good this time. Lancelot,

come on.

What was that? Did you see that?

What? I think I saw a tree move toward

us or away. It's too

dark to tell. Bingo. Saved by

nature's own Lantern.

Oh, so glad you're here.

I'd be very frightened without you. Not a

thing to worry about.

We. Your superior will to conquer

fear forever.

What? What is it Pig? What's wrong?

Woolly mountain elephant, run for your

lives.

Angry fireflies alive.

Wally Mountain elephant run for your

lives. Louder lands, a lot louder.

Great. Perfect.

Will you?Run for your life.

I got her this time, Lance a lot. Well,

she finds out it was all a trick.

I can't wait to see the look on her.

Oh no. Why

is the light Get Me Out of here?

You ruined my trip.

You big stupid beast.

What leg down?

Not that way.

No.

Do you think he might have missed her?

No, it could have been worse. At least

she was beaten by some praised Corn

Rivers plant.

You think she's OK? Definitely not.

A blue swallow tail. Where's my net?

They say you'll be better than new in no

time. Just great and I

just wanted to thank you. I mean, I feel

a little guilty. If you hadn't warned us

about that woolly mountain elephant, I

might have ended up in here on Steady

Hill. Yeah, great. Just great. And

camping turns out to be kind of fun, too.

Maybe we could do it again when you're

better. Yeah. Listen, before you go,

could you adjust the bed?

Thanks.

I just don't get it. Lance a lot. Why

does she always come out on top? It's

just not fair.

I I.

Soon the ice might come in. Hey, Mike,

What do you think? About what? About

Lancelot's new to die for outfit. Oh,

nice. I didn't even look. Here. Feel

this? It's fresh silk. Real smooth.

I'm busy. What's so important? You don't

have two minutes to look at my dazzling

new creation. I'm setting up an ice maker

for the island. What size? And more

important, who cares? Notice the way the

lavender picks up the pink in the tiara.

Check it out, Mike. You could use a

lesson in fashion. You could use a lesson

in going away. It's really easy. All you

have to do is start walking in any

direction.

Why don't you start walking off my

island? Don't you ever do anything useful?

Yeah, all the time. Like what you

really want to know? Yeah, like this.

Now that I've got your attention, what do

you think of Lancelot's new outfit?

I think it's a cute what?

What is that some kind of big city

insult? No, it was.

Too. To you too. Come Lancelot. I will

not be insulted like this on my own

island. Thank you.

Don't worry about a thing, Mike. There

hasn't been a cold on this island in over

300 years, but my great, great, great

great grandmother left a scientific

formula for a foolproof cure.

She called it chicken soup.

Lucky you, Mike, I've decided to overlook

your shameless insults and will allow you

the honor of playing with me.

There. See, she did it again. You saw it

too, right, Marjorie? It's just a sneeze,

dear. An involuntary muscle spasm because

she's sick. She just caught a common cold

vibe. Leave it to Mike to catch something

common. What's a cold virus, anyway? A

week of sneezing and dripping with bits

of coughing and wheezing, watery eyes and

dry throat, soggy tissues and a raw nose.

It's a little like dying, but you live.

Well, the person. Is

anything but common and will never

succumb to such lowly ale.

'S

what happened. It's simple. I sneeze, you

breathe, you got it. So you just sneeze

and other people get this cold. Wow,

more or less very

interesting.

This is it, Lance, my boy. The golden

opportunity. This is how we get rid of

the redheaded.

Girl, we turned her own virus against

her. Feel that burn.

What in places? Who's there? Stay away

from Mike. So turn you into a sneezing

virus? She'll what?

Better stay away from bike. She's

catching a dusty virus.

Mike, is that you? Sorry, I'll just

get back in bed. Are you all right,

dear? You sounded awful just now.

What? What's this about freezing

papyrus? What's this I hear about a

platypus? No. Mike's got a virus.

Begin phase two.

Don't get too close, you'll catch bikes.

Horrible disease. Well it's not as

bad as all that, no, but it's

pretty bad. Now get out because if you

don't you'll probably catch the worst

disease in the world. If there's catching

can be done, I'm your man.

Now it's just a matter of time,

my accounting tables neatly stacked in

alphabetical order. Six months work

completed.

What's your?

Oh.

Perhaps Lou is right. I had no idea

colds could be so damaging to the

creative process.

I've never had a cold this bad. Must be

some kind of mutant eyelid cold. Oh sure,

blame the mutant on the Islanders. But

just who started this anyway?

How could it go get out? Maybe he could

help. A very good idea. Back to

go. Yeah, do go. And

please don't come back.

I'm right in the middle of an antimatter

particle generator assembly.

Don't even breathe. I

too, you'll have

to put that one on hold. I need a

cure for the uncovered cold.

Infectious disease of the upper

respiratory tract sounds

interesting. Where is everybody? It's

time for my tea.

And whatever their racket.

What are you lazy lizards all doing in

bed? I want my tea. It's all bike's

fault. She should be sent

back to wherever she came from before she

unleashes some other dreadful plague.

Do you think she could cast a healing

spell to rid us of this dreaded cold bug?

I can't, perhaps.

I might, yeah. Not.

The power.

Daddy. When is the burden of this

horrible play going to be lifted from

your little Princess? Don't you worry,

your Pretty Little hair, dearest Mike

shall find a way to expunge this

p*stol. Bike, bike, bike,

always bike. First she comes here, then

she pays no attention to Lancelot fashion

statements and down this very sh*t.

What could be keeping her? She didn't

look well. She didn't have to contaminate

us with all her weird mutant city bread

and curable diseases. That

seems a bit harsh. She's sick. I

think she deserves our sympathy, not our

scored. No, you're right. When

Bike gets back, I'll take care of her.

How mature and gracious you become, my

dear. But I can't help but wonder if

we might be better off without her and

her New York diseases. I don't

know. I, I said

you've got a point.

If tar feathers in the rail out of

town, that's what I say. Send it back to

where she came from.

Yak.

Better hurry.

Yeah, I get the feeling you're being

watched now, but what?

What the?

H OH. Mike,

my dad is something we'd like to talk

about. It's fairly important and it

concerns you. Can't this wait? I'm not

feeling that well. None of us are. That's

the point. Precisely what are you trying

to say? It's time you went back from

whence you came.

All right, Big bad biscuits.

My body for cricket, give me that.

OK, my clothes, kiss your bacteria

goodbye.

Yes.

What's that?What are

you doing? k*lling you?

Don't worry, I won't send you the bill.

Now, what was it that you wanted to tell

me?That

we're so happy you're here

for Mike. Wait a minute.

Why is she getting all the credit? She

cured us. Well, she wouldn't have had

anything to cure if I hadn't spread the

disease in the first place.

I mean, it was all her fault. I didn't

do anything. Lancelot did it. It was all

his fault. Where is that journal?

What?

Get Me Out. This instance your

high Princess commands you. Anyone

up for a nice cool frosted glass iced tea?

Ain't no mortgage loan, ain't no

hair salons, ain't no ain't no ice cream

cones, ain't no people phones, ain't no

silicones, ain't no parameters. Ain't no

kidney stones, Ain't no microphones,

ain't no flights, ain't no carry on.

When everybody goes.

On the island where nobody goes.