02x01 - A Learning Experience/We the People

[bunniefuu]

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where uh

knows

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uh

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women and children first

it's the first day of school come on you

don't want to be late

okay okay

enough with the foghorn i'm up i'm up

already

sheesh

are you ready for school mike i brought

my notebook dividers in a new pencil

case that's very nice yeah but are you

ready for school

well you don't get any more ready than

that i am an exchange student after all

and being here is great but i miss

school you should go back

strict disciplinary teachers stressful

tests lunches made of great things and

brightly colored gelatin desserts the

peer pressure to conform oh yeah

school baby i can't

wait splendid and there is plenty to be

learned here what was the hunting and

the gathering and all that

great and we do have a rather extensive

library extensive for 1773 there hasn't

been a new book added since you left

england but there will be as soon as i

finish the island's history i'm calling

it

casual wit's end

okay

you guys are the albunco teens i got

that but who are the kuzzlewicz the

kuzzlewitz

there are no such thing next you'll be

asking about the easter bunny

what's this

celtic graffiti no it's a school

crossing

but there's nothing around here for

miles

um safety first

so this is school

no computers i guess

hey get off of there that's my desk

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what the heck are you doing with those

they're books you know as in study we'd

come to know and understand the

weirdness of contemporary society

screenwriting for the very young

and

uh

innards made beautiful what do you need

books for i mean this is school they're

what i was studying back at home

i thought they might be useful

is

where'd she come from she fall from sky

that means die far too yeah

okay

who are these other kids and more

important what's with all the noise what

other kids there's no other kids here

studying you can't learn when

everybody's yelling no of course you can

it's how we pass on information and

these are the cousinwits kids no they're

not from the other side of the island

they don't exist their parents and our

parents don't get along there are no

other kids in this class and if there

were other kids and i'm not saying that

there are they would not because of wits

because no one in their right mind would

be caught dead with a puzzle witch where

she comes from bottom of swan

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what did he mean by that he said that

you

some strange person that we have never

seen before should keep your mouth shut

and your nose out of other people's

business be it of the educational

variety or otherwise

i've gotta study roots are the

underground parts of

plants but

i'm the best the best

that gives me such a headache

glad that's over

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what now

[Applause]

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no one in sight for miles a perfect

place to lie and wait for the wombat

quaker

totally surprised me and it hadn't a

clue

but why on earth are you sitting alone

in the middle of wombat country you

should be in school good bit of yelling

and banging that's what you need well

that's just a thing too much yelling and

banging like trying to study inside a

dryer full of rocks what that school

needs is a teacher a teacher

taking up the hunt is a dangerous

pursuit maiming exotic diseases and a

life in hospital are all awaiting you

but the rewards are equally great for

there is nothing in the world like

what like sitting on a hot rock in the

boiling sun with no food or water while

awaiting your praise arrival the world

seems to stop as you your bow and

arrow

take careful aim and

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take off in hot pursuit

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is a complex one you look like teapot

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during lectures

quiet no one talks while my father talks

but me they make a lot of noise for

people who are not here oh do be quiet

please this is most important you know

you see the tea cozy is actually a

metaphor for all of life it's like

brussels sprout

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smells like sauerkraut

hey you what do you think you're

doing

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please class you must be quiet you don't

exist stop throwing things just don't

engage dear leave me alone epiglottis

esophagus huge tongue bronchial breaker

i'll really lunge you guys children

please focus you must stop this

immediately or i'll be forced to

stop crying

first thing i learnt when i went to

school

was how to

sit still which part of the world still

didn't get through

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most important lesson in the known

universe

and one that you're about to learn

you're quivering together never sat

still in your life bunch of wiggling

socks

and i'll have nothing out of you either

i attended a school very much like this

one oh yeah

i was just brushing a fly oh i see and

i'm a bent over old man you are a bent

over old man none of your smart mouth

just keep still

and further the cultural imperative and

social unrest during the middle ages

should have special significance to us

today

simply because of the parallels that can

be drawn between modern societal modes

and the tracks of the common newberry

you don't exist to be conscious that we

are perceiving or thinking is to be

conscious of our own existence

as it ends its way through and around

the various rocks and stones

you don't exist more such an excess of

stupidity madam is not in nature

samuel johnson

one should note with care the appearance

of jungles in the late works of pete

wash the lesser the famous or not so

famous flemish painter of the early

1300s

yes well

as i was saying

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yay good going marge aces uh i just

don't think i can thank you enough

really

you know i didn't think anyone was

really listening hanging on every word

can't wait to hear the next lesson oh

yes the late middle ages were a virtual

hotbed of social development why the

changes in leather turning in my cats

later

i thought it would never end i guess we

all learned a lesson here right but

education is what you make it that i

know enough already red-headed girl not

bad banging and healing a fist no

but close sometimes when you're stuck on

a weird island

you just gotta go with it

there's nothing more satisfying than

seeing young people aspire toward an

education

to find the truth one must start down

the path i wonder if we could start down

the path towards a cheesy flame

that was a metaphor

well it is quite late one has to eat

sooner or later and sooner would be good

philosophically speaking of course

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[Applause]

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i'm an excrete governor of

this island and it's my very special

task to keep each person smiling

all day

hey what's going on it's a celebration

here wendell's 21st term

wendell's gonna be governor again i

didn't even know there was an election

an election

oh isn't that where you come as your

favorite entree no

it's where these governor guys all run

for the same office president vice

president dog catcher whatever you vote

for the one you want and the one with

the most votes wins sounds

bother to me how does anyone have time

to hunt and besides my dad is has been

and always will be governor what about

democracy

what's a democracy in a democracy

everybody gets an equal voice even if

nobody ever listens and if you have a

lot of money you get an even more equal

voice because you can buy air time of

course nobody watches they're too busy

watching game shows but if they did

they'd see a bunch of candidates who all

look alike making promises they can't

possibly keep not that it matters since

most people don't vote anyway because

they live in a free country and they

don't have to and that my friends is a

democracy

i vote for democracy oh yes goody let's

have an election

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if you want an election you'll need

another candidate someone has to run

against wendell good point oh yes yes

yes of course but who should we get a

bit of a sticky wicket there i know i

know how about my jolly good show me

no i don't think so why not you know the

electoral process you're not as annoying

as you could be and you're easy to beat

but uh

but oh please you must do it your island

needs you mike

for

governor of the island it is my official

mandate to count every coconut whether

on a tree or on the ground or falling

which is actually very confusing because

once they foreign

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thank you

and

vote for me i'll make short speeches

poor mike is anybody really going to

vote for her well perhaps i will oh yes

count me in me too if i'm going to vote

for anybody it might as well be her or

what you're all voting for mike

we're doomed if my dad loses this

election then i won't be princess

anymore and life as we know will end

forever

don't you get it unless you do something

you're going to lose the election

everybody's going to vote for mike and

we'll be out on the sand oh my poor

little munchkirinos you've got yourself

all worked up over nothing nada i have

always been governor and i'll always be

governor no silly election can change

that

all right fine if you won't save your

job then i will i'm pulling out all the

stops on this campaign

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here's a flyer for you and you and you

wow it's still early and already i've

given out six

make that seven flyers only 264 to go

all right people listen

look for my dad or else i'm filling this

elephant up with cauliflower and parking

it in your yard

how sweet miniature posters

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one little campaign advice

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that's it

mud slinging is the final straw this is

what princess

here you go vote for me don't forget to

vote

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i regrets i have only one face to give

to my country

and if i'm elected governor i promise to

bring this island into the 21st century

uh or at least the 19th my dad promises

a tea cozy for every pot i promise more

pots and a pan he promises to redecorate

the village i promise street lights and

maybe even a street he promises a

highway a freeway

democracy in action very stimulating as

you know i've always been a big

supporter of the arts painting drawing

glowing i'm there so if i'm elected i

try my best to fund the arts like that

big sculpture you're doing of joshua

wendell albanquetine

you could give me a grunt well i i can't

make any promises but i try oh i'd be

ever so grateful and now madame governor

what would you say to a nice bowl of

soup

ah i'd say no

did i see a dozen sucker arrows i meant

two dozen a bushel but what would i do

with all those arrows and one little

wombat what about ten round

i'll guarantee you a herd of wombats a

little stretch as far as the eye can see

as far as the eye can see

and also if i'm elected i'd try to get

everyone a better nails if they want one

man that's ridiculous of course they

want one hey you can't clean here it's a

free island i can clean wherever i want

well so can i

we have laws against outsiders cleaning

in caves you know no you don't yes we do

or we

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i want you both out of here this instant

you hear me but the dust it's my dust

and you can't hear it now get out oh

fine but just remember vote for my

father

or you never see your hammock again

i'm talking about a brand new laboratory

burners beakers stuff that bubbles i

like my old laboratory

then we could redo it i see white walls

blue trim curtains an over stuffed chair

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wendell for governor i'll make it worth

your while

we'll need you to you too

[Applause]

oh don't worry my little lulu games

everybody knows i'm a shoo-in

two names

how can i possibly decide

right that's it i hereby announce the

polls officially closed as governor of

this fair island it is my duty to count

the

balance

one

two

one

no wait i said it no how can i count

with all you watching with everybody

turn around

no please thank you

three

four

five eight no three four six oh

four five six seven let it oh seven i

did it seven ballots all counted and now

without further ado the final results

mike six window one

yay

did i win no

and you didn't even vote for yourself i

just couldn't it it seemed so vain but

you are vain

i can always take it in

or maybe you'll grow into it

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i can't wear this there's a whole

ecosystem in here

and this coat is so hot i can't even

breathe

but you wanted to be governor

we hate to disturb you on your first day

dear but there is that matter of the

campaign promises

now about those wombats i should think a

small herd say 20 or 30 should do it and

i have some wonderful ideas for my

sculpture

pick up skipper we'll get through this

don't you fret i'll find some other work

you know although

being governor is truly all i know

maybe i could collect things you know

like little leaves or maybe shells

i've always fancy

i want my bed of nails uh excuse me but

i believe marjorie and i have the floor

now as i was saying

the national treasury is down to a pig

two crabs

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as well as many many others i've decided

to turn the job the coat

and especially the wig back over a

window

so

my first act as governor

is to resign

i'm speechless

which is why this is the perfect time

for

i'm the next great governor i'll govern

in style

and it's my job to wear the wig

and keep it person smiling

each

day i helped with the song don't quit

your day job

check it out check it out

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don't give it up before you found

what's to know i've learned this much no

matter what you do or say

no matter what goes down today happiness

is a lot like gum on a seat it's hard to

recapture hey might as well go with the

floor check it out check it out

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