01x09 - High Rise/The Great Snipe Hunt

[bunniefuu]

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where um

knows

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outfit

hey alfred how hard can it be to find a

guy in an elephant

got you wombat do i look like a wombat

you can't fool me with your clever

disguises not now stalwart i have a

message from marjorie what is it

oh

then who's in there

mike

what no if you doing in my trap i'm

trying to give you a message from

marjorie she says don't be late for tea

could you just pop back and tell her

i'll be just a bit late for tea

yeah

i'll just pop back five miles

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late again i wish you would tell me

these things earlier

could you be a dear and just pop next

door and tell when we supposed to bring

the scones pop over to wendell's

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hey wendell marjorie wanted to tell you

not to forget the scones oh scones

completely forgot could you just pop

next door to old quakes he has the

barriers for the scones tell alfred it's

time for tea it seemed like such a

simple request

come give daddy a hand with his scone

making there's a deer he's got to be

kidding as long as you live under this

roof you're expected to do your chair

i gotta get my own roof

hey creeks wendell needs his berries i

don't have any buddies oh took a lot of

them great

i suppose i'll just pop over to oggs

they're quite complaining it's right

next door on this island next door's in

another time zone

ugh

wendell needs his berries they're gone

i was trying for berries that would

explode with flavor

they just exploded

this is not what i am cut out for you

know

that's it

dad it's time we had a serious talk look

i'm 10 years old time i had a place of

my own

tough luck the berries are gone

i'm ruined i'll be the laughing stock of

the island pop over to margarita that's

it

i quit whatever do you mean what are you

gonna do go back home no

i've got a better idea

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ladies and gentlemen i present you with

a solution to all your problems and mine

the albuquerque

just like big city towers we're next

door really is next door

oh my i wanted to move out not in with

everybody else it seems a bit small i

don't think i'll fit it's a model don't

you get it we can all live in one place

stop

look

this is the answer to all of our

problems now if you have to talk to

somebody next door they really are next

door you know just like back in new york

think about it elevators that get stuck

between floors noisy neighbors heaters

that knock and rats the size of a cow if

you want to talk to the guy above you

you just bang on the ceiling with the

broom

it's the best noisy neighbors heaters

that knock that's the size of a cow

sounds like good hunting to me oh i

don't know

and tea on the terrace ten times a day

tea tea on the terrace

definitely with a slight adjustment

uh

mike yes

it's just that i'm not sure did you

consider i mean did you take into

consideration in your plans that is it

what well you see it was over 300 years

ago that our founding fathers first

devised a ceremony of sorts you know

that involved the firing of certain

esteemed apparatus what are you trying

to say excuse me it's time

what was that what wendell was trying to

say it was time dear

your building's in the way of his cannon

oh

how about here sitting on an underground

swamp building would sink like a prune

in a bowl of wicker

here elephant burial ground

here fault line how's this migration

path

um what about this infested with spiders

yeah

how about back where we started perfect

what it's moved over three feet you're

out of the way of the cabin call me when

my sweet is finished i want to check the

feng shui what are the laws here about

bodily harm

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i thought you were gonna help me build

the tower sorry i'm in the middle of

untangling arubus calisonitis double

helix a what another berry experiment

trying to splice their dna with a

catalytic reactor

i got

juice but i did make this bonding agent

though a kind of glue works better than

nails thanks i'll put you down for a

third floor corner

but no particle generators in the house

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i say where do you want this let me

check right here

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might as well face it i haven't stopped

i'm doing it

i'm doing it

just perfect alfred exactly according to

plan

you'll

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ready for your next assignment ready

when you are

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got the porch corner set what's next

step three is the floor joist right

alfred um

hey alfred isn't that the wombat no

that's a rock i don't hunt rocks too

easy no sport in it

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how many floor joists do we need um well

uh

actually you'll need uh none the next

step is windows that's weird i guess the

floors come later

straight down

got it

we're on our winnie lancelot my boy it's

all going according to plan

looking good i think i'm gonna like this

what are you doing

what's up with him oh you know turtles

haul away

operating heavy equipment is what i was

built for

give me those

i think your turtles lost it

lancelot your soup

ready to pour

pouring

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you might want to move it's quick to dry

how quick

oh that's quick

going to be a real beauty

watch where you're going

now leave them there i'll give you to

the pirates

plan

what about the floors must be coming up

soon don't even think about it

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plan check

light has rain in rangoon

what about the floors they've they've

got to come in somewhere indeed but

according to the plans not right now

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well

congratulations to us all we've done it

we've built the building

anyone for tea on the terrace

wait a second we're not done yet what

about the floors

where's my room i expected a large

window well the cow sized rats where's

my tea terrace this isn't my building

that's because it's mine get off of my

building your building

what a joke this building is mine mine i

tell you all mine

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looks like i'm too late you are too late

all right she's ruined my building no

too late to tell you that your building

won't stand up it won't nope

i gave you the wrong bucket it wasn't

glue

now i've got huge berries that stick to

anything they touch and you've got a

building with a fructose bonding agent

what's that mean in human language it's

gonna collapse when

my building was this part of the plan

lou switched the plans oh

my lulu it wasn't my fault none of this

would have happened if it weren't for

her big building ideas and his stupid

glue i wonder if there's a lesson in

this or if it was just a waste of time i

learned that the strength of your bond

is proportionate to the tensile strength

of your bonding agent yep

it was a waste of time time for tea

indeed and lou shall make the scones

what and then she shall clean her room

and wash the dishes and take out the

trash tidy up the kitchen and scrub the

toilet then shampoo the rug and i guess

it wasn't a waste of time

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stay back

stay

stay back

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stay back get away

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where uh

knows

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there's got to be an easier way hello

what's this it's a newbie power why

thank you

well birthday boy ready for your special

day no turn the handle

what do you mean

can i not have a birthday this year why

on earth not i'm making a pea cake your

favorite well i like peas and i like

cake but last year lou set my clothes on

fire lighting the candles oh i'm sure

she didn't mean to dare and then she set

my hair on fire trying to put out the

clothes yes well and dad made me go

hunting with him i hate hunting i'd say

the best thing in these instances is to

tell the truth just tell him you don't

want to go he's your father he'll listen

to you

dad

i don't want to go hunting golly good

then a hunting we will go

it's his birthday you know he's a good

friend we should do something throw a

party go buy a present sing a song nah

let's just go find him and make fun of

him for being three feet tall and having

weird hair oh do you think he'll like

that

the party's in an hour and i still don't

have a present for ogg how do you get

anybody anything on this island when

there's no place to shop well he is

going to love my presents i got him this

really cute skirt a top to go with it in

a set of earrings ugg doesn't wear any

of that stuff i know isn't that great

i'm gonna look terrific at his party

here put your finger here you should get

him something he wants

why get out of there those presents are

for on sort of wait a second

i think i got it

first priority is recognizing every

creature on earth by its unmistakable

silhouette the feet-footed cheetah the

ferocious alligator the rabbit penguin

dad i think it's time we had a little

talk man to men i'm all ears i really

don't like to hunt absolutely now the

main thing about hunting is but i don't

like to hunt there you go good lad

oh thought that one was real

now the cardinal rule

every animal is an adversary repeat

after me

i am a

i hunter

a hunter

never turn your back on an animal never

turn your back on an animal no animal is

my friend

no animal is my friend

so much for friendship he's turned into

some kind of bizarre flesh-eating

criminal sociopath barbarian

nietzsche would approve

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hey could you pull that lever dear

what's with the piece i'm making a pea

cake i've heard a carrot cake but a pee

cake carrots in a cake so it's

positively disgusting oh

peas were made for cake well i was

thinking of giving out this action guy

t-shirt for his birthday do you think

he'll like it it's a lovely t-shirt but

it's got that horrible blotch right on

the front that's not a blotch it's a

logo why don't you give him something

practical

like a rock a rock for your first hunt

my boy will tackle the elephant they're

a decidedly large target quite easy to

spot now do you see any elephants nearby

oh jolly good spotting now the trick is

to not let them spot you

why not i am an elephant here you are

using this cloud disguise i can sneak

off on the herd and then

[Applause]

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ready to vote

i think i'm going to cry

this is ridiculous

who'd want a worthless rock for their

birthday get away from those rocks those

are my rocks and shake that dirt off

your shoes unless you intend to pay for

it that's my dirt as well okay fine i

don't want to give him a rock anyway why

don't you give him a stick i'll give you

a good price what i really wanted to

give him was a t-shirt whatever you like

just get off my dirt like this

well if you want to give him a shirt

with a big blotch in front suit yourself

but it's no stick

rocks and sticks there's got to be

somebody on this island with a clue

about what to give a kid for his

birthday

it is elephant malting season makes them

decidedly unpredictable i think you'll

have an easier time with these fellas

frightfully stupid animals

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lad stay right by my side

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another m*ssacre it's horrible oh

the humanity

oh funny you should ask gift giving is a

very tricky business agony pure agony

but i always manage to find the perfect

gift a tea cozy you give them a tea cozy

oh indeed every year that's exciting oh

yes one can't have too many tea cozies i

have one for every day of the year i was

gonna give him a t-shirt but i don't

think he'll like it no let me see

how delightful really you like it i love

it especially the blotch i'm simply gaga

but it is a bit large for a tea cozy i

suppose you could cut it down it's not a

tea cozy it's a t-shirt teak jose

t-shirt what's the diff it's all about

tea ah and keeping it warm a giant boa

is never to be taken lightly no

stick your tongue in and out if you're

very effective

disguise all right

i'm afraid the creature has got

incredible eating its own kind

everywhere

where am i

sorry

disgusting

horrifying this butchery must be stopped

i can't see i can't see

elephant k*ller ostrich assassin

in a box

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well clums that was close i should

definitely like to thank someone

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i didn't mean it stand firm son they can

smell fear

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sometimes it's good to show a little

fear

where is he oh let's open the presents

where i come from when you have a party

for someone they're usually there he'd

open this present first shall we cut the

cake my tea is getting cold oh hey look

what he got oh beautiful

look at this you've just ruined ogg's

new ensemble

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i thought they were my friends

i'll have to come down sometime

the problem is

we'll have to come down sometime i

wasn't hunting honest i was just sharing

a birthday experience with my father i

couldn't really

i

don't

hunt very clever lad good cover if they

believe it honest

and he wouldn't hurt anything either not

really

it's the hunt i live for

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want some cake

tea cake my favorite

yeah great

a rock for a present makes a good

doorstop paperweight hammer don't be

stupid boys seven years old what what

according to island tradition it's time

for him to become a man smack his

forehead against this rook till he

passes out

happy birthday that explains a lot here

i got you something too

it's probably not as good as the other

presents i mean i don't know much about

island gifts

but i tried

wow

my own action guy

no no it's

oh yeah

i've been wearing it upside down this

whole time

this is the best birthday i ever had hmm

that's pathetic but i guess i learned

something about gifts there's nothing

better than a good rock a tea cozy will

warm your heart on this island it's much

better to give than to receive

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here let me like that for you

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