03x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

[Greg panting]

God! I don't know how
my girlfriend's gonna take this.

[John] You're not telling your girlfriend.

Anne-Marie says that trust
is the bedrock of a relationship.

She broke up with her husband 'cos
he finished watching Ozark without her.

Relationships don't have a bedrock.

It's all fine in the beginning
when it's all roses and Prosecco.

Before you know it, you're asking
Alexa to tell you she loves you.

You can't tell your girlfriend
that we buried a body.

No...

God bless this grave.

Send your holy angels to watch over it.

Amen.

Rest in power.

[Myrna] Oh, God!
We don't ever deserve to be happy.

- We are bad people.
- [John] No, we're not.

We did a bad thing.

- Again.
- Again, yes.

But it's over.

Our guilt is buried.

As of this moment, we can be good.

You have to give yourself
permission to be happy.

[seabirds calling]

[Rani] I asked you to clear this up
and you've done nothing.

Stop making excuses.

But you keep making promises
and then you keep breaking them.

It's... it's not good enough.

If you don't take care of this,
I'll speak to someone who can

and that won't be good for you.

[door creaks]

Are you spying on me?

No. Just gonna make a coffee.
Do you want one?

Uh, yeah, thanks.

I was just on my phone to my bank...

in case you're wondering.

Hey, so...

when you was in London,

what was it that
Smiler said to you that night

in the hotel room
to make you go to that meeting?

What?

No, I'm just...

trying to understand why you'd meet
with him that night, that's all.

He grabbed me.

He was threatening.

Okay, but...

once he let you go,
you didn't have to go to the meeting.

He said,
"The Dean's gonna beat the charges

and when he's out, he's gonna
k*ll you and all your friends."

So you go to the meeting and...

Smiler's unconscious.

And then you're attacked
by a mysterious stranger?

Yes! Like I said.

And then once Smiler was stabbed
and then you knocked the attacker out,

why did you help Smiler?

- I...
- Why didn't you get the hell out of there?

I... I was on my way out
and then, and then...

and then he called out.

[Smiler] Help me!

[groans]

- [Rani] I say...
- I can't.

[Rani] And he says...

Once The Dean gets out
he's coming for you and your friends.

But I have pertinent information
that will guarantee a custodial conviction

and ensure that he's never released.

He was very eloquent for
a man with a knife in his guts.

Those weren't his exact words
but that was the gist.

[Smiler groaning]

This information,

what was it?

Never found out.

- Did you ask him?
- Yeah, of course I asked him.

[Rani] I kept asking him but he was
just mumbling these random words.

Flop. Sponge.

[groans] 209.

What does that mean?

- Nothing.
- No... It's got to mean something.

Oh, my God! Why are you giving me
the third degree? Do you not believe me?

I'm s...

Yeah, course I do.

I'm just... I'm just looking for clues.

[opening theme music plays]

[reporter on TV] ...mainly involving
West Indian youths and police.

The riot began this afternoon
in the St Paul's area of Bristol.

A police car has been overturned
and shops have been looted

and buildings set ablaze.

Officers have withdrawn from the area,
having been pelted...

[Sean] This is reactive, Myrna.

You know violence undermines our message.

No, Sean. A man out there
just got beaten half to death

cos people like us just talk about change
instead of changing things.

- The plane leaves in two hours.
- Then you better get going.

Don't do this.

Come with me.

We can still make change from Canada.

Change must come
through the barrel of a g*n.

Chairman Mao.

Nice role model.

Look, I have to do this, Sean.

And if you can't
support me in that then...

you should just leave.

[footsteps receding]

[Sean muffled]
No, I don't strictly have to do that.

Their mum's probably going to get them
from Montreal anyway now,

so I don't have to actually go back.

Myrna?

Did you hear me?

Uh...

No. Sorry.

Is everything okay?
You haven't eaten anything.

I don't have much of an appetite.

What were you saying?

I'm meant to fly back to Toronto tomorrow,
but I was thinking...

maybe I could stay in Bristol
a bit longer.

Get a hotel, um, so we could
see more of each other.

No, I don't think so.

Oh.

Okay.

I mean...

why get a hotel when...

I have a queen-size bed?

Are you sure?

We have to give ourselves
permission to be happy.

Mm.

It's been six months since
I last used drugs or alcohol.

Almost fell off the wagon when
they told me I wasn't famous enough

to go on Celebs Go Dating.

Especially when they'll
take girls from Love Island,

who have to provide two utility bills
to prove who they are.

So, yes. [laughs]

There are moments of stress
when I want to self-medicate.

Like now.

I've just found out that if
I ever want to be a mother,

I only have two months to get pregnant.

And it's...

dredging up all sorts of feelings.

My mother k*lled herself

and my dad was never there.

I am an addict.

With my DNA am I even fit to be a mother?

[lawyer] Your daughter maintains
you mismanaged

money bequeathed to her
by her late mother.

She's suing for the entire amount.

£4 million.

She's an alcoholic. What's she buying
with £4 million? A new liver?

Well, we don't want
this going to court next week, sir,

so I suggest we up the settlement offer.

I'm sure Greg can be persuaded to accept.

- Who?
- Greg Dillard.

Your daughter's legal adviser.

- You've met him, sir.
- Have I?

Yes, sir. Gangly, glasses.

No, I can't place him.

- Dresses like a Polish Mormon.
- No.

He looks like what you'd draw
if you were playing Pictionary

and the card said "giant paedophile".

Ah, yes, Greg Dillard, I know him.

Oh, God!

Greg earned a third-class law degree
from the University of Smethwick.

Didn't that used to be a polytechnic?

Used to be a car wash.
The entry requirement is...

just turn up.

Dillard's hobbies include

chess, country walks
and soliciting prostit*tes for oral sex.

- Oh, he sounds like an Archbishop I know.
- [lawyer laughs]

- Spencer here worked alongside...
- Above.

...with Dillard at Northcott Marling.
We retained his services

because it's essential to know what
your enemy's going to do before they do.

At this previous firm, was Dillard
trusted to work the big cases?

Sir, he wasn't trusted
to work the photocopier.

After 11 years, he wasn't promoted once,

so walked out on the arm
of a paralegal named Anne-Marie.

- [voicemail] First message.
- [Greg] Hi, love. Me again.

It's now 9:30pm.

Let me know what you had for dinner.

I grabbed a Ginsters.

Give me a bell whenever.

- [voicemail] Next message.
- [Greg] Hey love.

Meant to say, there's
a moussaka from Lidl in your fridge

that needs eating by tomorrow.

It's 10:17pm. I'm on the mobile.

[voicemail] Next message.

[Greg] Do not eat the moussaka!

It's now 12:30am,
so it's past its use-by date.

Repeat, moussaka is spoiled.

[voicemail] Next message.

Morning, love. It's your boyfriend...

Greg.

Since then, he's been
peddling legal advice online.

He's had two cases in six months,

the biggest of which was working for
a businessman called John Halloran,

who was suing his father
for control of the family business.

Did he win?

No, your Lordship. Greg lost so badly,
the judge gave him a hug.

Halloran Junior is still paying costs
and has a seat on the company board,

but no power or authority.

So, all are agreed that we accept
the middle estimate of 40,000, yep?

- [men] Yes.
- All are not agreed.

Well, I don't see why we need
air conditioning on the factory floor.

We've been through this, John.

Working conditions are becoming
really tough in the summer months.

The union have been
lobbying about this for years.

It's a good strategic "give" to them.

- The last thing we need is a walkout.
- Let them walk out.

There's Ukrainians
gagging for this kind of work.

Just think about
what the company gains, Dad.

A committed workforce
that feels supported.

And that's key
to hitting production targets.

Oh, hello.

Anyone order a taxi?

I'm an Executive Driver, Dad.

And you should listen to your board.

And you should get to the station.

The London train'll be in soon

and those real businessmen
will need cabs.

[male voice on app]
And a deep breath out.

[exhales]

And repeat with me:

I am blooming as a flower
and float through stress

[muffled] like petals in the wind.

I am blooming as a flower. I float...

John.

Can we talk about your old man?

He's getting worse.

You knew what he was like
when you got into business with him.

Yeah, I know,
but he's twice as stubborn now.

- Can you have a word with him?
- I can't. No, sorry.

It's not my job anymore.

I'm on a different path.

- Please! John!
- [engine starts]

- I'd owe you.
- No, I'm sorry, no.

He stays out of my way, I stay out of his.

If I go to trial, is there any chance
this Dillard can win the case?

There's more chance of Meghan
letting Harry FaceTime his dad.

If you're saying Gabby's lawyer
is a wh*re-mongering imbecile

with the face of a kiddie fiddler,
why am I settling?

Because your good name will be
dragged through the courts, my Lord.

We want to settle this
and be done with it.

How much are you proposing
I offer my daughter?

[trumpet fanfare plays]

Are you f*cking high?

[sheep bleating]

[Stan] Is it legal to film people
without their consent?

Did they worry about consent
when they caught Jack the Ripper?

But they never caught Jack the Ripper.

Yeah, too worried about consent.

Look, I'm using my initiative
as a trusted PCSO

to follow up on a lead that was
brought directly to me by DS Selforth.

If these guys are hiding something,

I'll soon find out about it.

[chuckles] Check this out.

[Geordie accent]
Day three in the Big Brother house.

[Geordie accent] And after last night,
the hot tub will need draining.

No. I'll do the accents, all right?

[Geordie accent] Diane is prepping
for today's task, surveillance.

Stan is getting her a protein shake
and a large pasty.

With his own money.

[romantic music plays]

- [Sarah] I've got to go.
- [Gabby] Mm, no...

- [Sarah laughs]
- [Gabby] Stay!

[Gabby] Oh, you make me so wet!

[both laughing]

- [knocking]
- Oh, just walking in. Just coming home.

- Hi. Hello. All right?
- Oh, Greg, hi.

- Hi, Greg.
- Hi.

- Sarah's just leaving.
- Yeah.

- Ah, bye, Sarah.
- All right, see ya.

Oh!

Bye!

[Greg sighs]

So, what did they say?

- Well, they upped the offer substantially.
- How substantially?

A quarter of a million pounds?

You're welcome. Amazing, right?

- Wrong! It's not enough.
- Sorry, what?

My mother left me £4 million, Greg,
and my dad pissed it away.

I'm not letting him get away with this.

We can't win.
I've never tried a case in open court.

You'll be fine.
It's just a lot of "objection",

"overruled", "you can't handle the truth".

Your father's got a team of top lawyers
with unlimited resources.

I bought my laptop at a car boot sale.

Take the settlement, all right?
A quarter of a mil's a lot of money.

Raising a baby will cost way more.

Have you decided? You having a baby?

It... I haven't...
I haven't quite decided yet.

Well, what does Sarah think?

I haven't told her yet.

- Don't you think you should mention it?
- No, I will.

I just have to find the right moment.

Don't you think she'll make
the most wonderful mother?

Y... Yeah. I... Y... Yeah.

- I, yeah, I think she probably will, yeah.
- What?

Well, you just... you haven't
always chosen the best girlfriends.

Such as?

- That Russian gymnast.
- Olga was beautiful and very caring.

She stole £8,000 from you.

- To get her father out of prison.
- We've been through this.

That was her husband.
He was in the Estonian mafia.

- What's this got to do with Sarah?
- Well, how well do you know her?

You know, what's her background?
Family history?

Has she got savings?
Speeding tickets?

Addiction issues?
A criminal record?

Well, who do you think she is, me?

I just think you need to find out
if she'd be a suitable mother

before you raise a child with her.

[rooster crows]

What makes you so sure
they'll say something in the shed?

PCSO instinct.

You can't teach this kind of hunch.

Wish I could. I could charge a fortune.

I'm glad you can't 'cos I'd be broke.

- Unless you'd give me mates rates?
- I wouldn't.

I couldn't sleep last night.

You know that story "The Tell-Tale Heart"?

About the bloke who kills someone,
buries the body,

thinks he can
still hear the heart beating?

- That's happening to me.
- Please stop panicking!

How? I can't shake the image of the body.

[Greg] Lying there,
still, completely lifeless,

staring up at me,
nothing behind the eyes.

No, he's just talking about his sex life.

[Greg] I don't ever want to be
put in that position again.

There we go.

What's your verdict on Rani?

- You mean, do I think she's a psycho?
- Yeah.

She turns up yesterday with that body,

all business,
ice cold and calculated.

[Ben] Yeah, I know. I mean,
despite the position that she's in,

she just seems to show no emotion.

[Myrna] That is what scares me.

I don't know what she's capable of.

[Ben] Yeah. Furthermore,
she's got us doing her dirty work.

- [Myrna] Yeah!
- [Ben] Again.

She just clicks her fingers
and we all jump.

Told you they fear me. So cool.

- Are they talking about you?
- Mm-hmm.

[Ben] Can you believe there was
a time I thought I was in love with her?

Ooh!

- Did you know that?
- No.

Doesn't surprise me. He's been
eye banging me since day one.

Well, he's only human.

[sobbing]

That beanpole told me he loved me too.

I had to mace him once
'cos he tried to jump my bones.

- Well, you know the issue.
- [Greg sobbing]

Your uniform's too tight.
It drives men crazy.

You're like a West Country Lizzo.

[Ben] Hey, John, come here.

Greg.

Myrna.

So this morning I drilled Rani.

You had sex with a m*rder*r?!
You horn dog.

Drilled her for information.

Oh.

She told me that Smiler said
when The Dean gets out,

he's gonna come and find us.

So we can all celebrate together

with a Ploughman's, nice game of darts?

So he can k*ll us!

- [Greg] Even me?
- Well, yeah.

That's so unfair.

I barely did anything in this group.
I'm like Bez.

This is my punishment
for letting Sean move in.

For giving myself permission to be happy.

Look, she also said that Smiler
may have some information

which could put The Dean
inside for certain.

What information? We need that
information. What's the information?

Well, it's hard because
she said that he was rambling,

that she could only make out
a few words and numbers.

Uh, flop, sponge, knee, 209.

What3words.

- Flop, sponge, knee.
- No, what3words.

- Flop, sponge, knee, he just said.
- Yeah, what3words.

- He just said!
- Greg!

The mapping software called what3words.

What?!

Every three square metres
of the entire world

has been designated three random words.

It's navigation software. It's used by
delivery drivers, emergency vehicles...

cab drivers.

I still don't understand.

Smiler was giving Rani

a very specific location.

Flop, sponge, knee.

Yeah.

It's a storage facility in London.

So?

Do we think that Smiler
could be storing something there?

- Well, maybe.
- What, so we're just believing Rani now?

Well, why would she make that up?

To bolster her lies.

So that we just believe
she didn't k*ll Smiler in cold blood.

What if Rani's telling the truth?

I mean, it makes sense
that The Dean wants us dead.

Look, if this information is enough
to keep The Dean inside for good,

can we afford not to believe her?

According to their website
they've got hundreds of units.

We'd never find Smiler's.

Unless...

it's number 209.

Mm-hmm.

I guess we could drive up to London
and check it out.

Oh. It says they use state-of-the-art
thumb print access, so...

So, we just dig up Smiler

and hack off his thumbs.

Yeah.

No.

No, no, no. No, no, no!

- No!
- What other choice do we have?

We have to know
what's in the storage facility.

No! No. We buried our guilt.

We're good people again.

I float through stress
like petals in the wind.

I'm blooming as a flower and float
through stress like petals in the wind.

[inhales]

- I am blooming as a flower...
- [Greg repeats]

...and float through stress like petals
in the wind. I swear to God.

[Diane] Hey!

Me and you.

We can never happen, okay?

- What?
- Look, you're a handsome guy.

Sure, I like a bit of rough.

I would have ruined you.

But you're a convicted felon
and I'm a PCSO.

I'm sorry.

I know how much this must hurt.

But listen...

I'll send you a nude selfie
to remember me by.

It's the best I can do.

Also, you two,
no fighting over me, all right?

That's an order.

Blame it on my juice.

Lizzo. Iconic.

[loud passionate moans]

That's it!

Oh, God! That's it! Oh!

- [Sarah panting]
- Can you drive?

[panting] You want to swap places?

No, do you have a clean driving licence?

I didn't know it was needed but, yeah.

Ooh!

[moaning with pleasure] Gabby!

Are you making the most
of your annual ISA allowance?

Uh...

Yeah.

What would you do if you saw
a toddler swallow a marble?

[sighs] Okay, something is
going on with you, what is it?

[Gabby sighs]

So these polyps could come back,
so if I want to be a mother

I have to get pregnant
in the next two months.

So, do you want to have a baby with me?

Gabby, how long have we been together?

Oh, I'm really bad with dates. Um...

Is it five months?

Three weeks.

You're saying you're ready
for the next stage? Great.

No, I'm saying having
a baby together's a bit sudden.

Even for lesbians.
We never even got a cat.

I don't have the luxury of time.

No, I know you don't.

But I do.

[Haines] And I cannot express enough
the importance of detailed notes

to be taken at the crime scene
describing the location, the layout,

the condition of the scene itself.

Oh, time's run away with me. Next week,
we will get on to interview procedure

and techniques
once the suspect is in custody.

That's all.

Wow!

Whoo!

Thank you.

- Ma'am, can I ask you something?
- Yeah.

If you were to taser someone, where
would you aim, the chest or the knackers?

Whichever feels right for you.

Knackers then, yeah.

Just so you know,
my surveillance operation at City Farm

is on like Donkey Kong.

What surveillance operation?

Oh, surveillance instigated by DS Selforth
when he came to visit me.

Rob visited you?

DS Selforth's name's Rob?
I never had him down as a Rob.

Yeah. What did you think it was?

I dunno, just Selforth.

You know, like Cher.

No, he has two names like other humans.

- [Diane chuckles]
- What did he want?

He was just checking details of that
day you arrested the drug dealer guy,

- The Don.
- The Dean.

See, he's got one name.

Checking which details?

Oh, various things. If you ever had
any private meetings with Rani Rekowski.

Is everything all right, ma'am?

Yes.

He was just getting our case
in order for the trial.

Oh, right, yeah.
I testify myself tomorrow.

So, do you fancy getting a drink,
chew things over?

- Can't tonight.
- Yeah, no, I can't either.

Taking my mum to Boozy Bingo.

Actually, I need to remember my taser.

Some of these old birds
can really kick off.

[John] Is this even the right spot?
I feel like we were further in.

[Myrna] No, I definitely remember
that we buried him near a tree.

- [John] What kind of tree?
- [Myrna] Uh...

- I don't know.
- Oh, okay, good.

So you've narrowed it down to
"near a tree in the woods".

Thank you very much, Ray Mears.

You should have used
that three word thing.

Well, hey, in my defence, Greg,

I didn't know I'd be popping back
to dig up the corpse that I helped bury!

Oh, God, we are bad people!

Good people aren't out in the middle
of the night digging up dead bodies!

Apparently, neither are you.
Is that a f*cking Peperami?

Yeah.

Anne-Marie says I need snacks
or my blood sugar dips

and I get hangry.

You wouldn't like me when I'm hangry.

You didn't tell her anything
about any of this, did you?

No. But I have to tell someone.

I'm getting anxiety, hot flushes,
sleepless nights.

Sounds like the menopause. You might
want to check for vaginal dryness.

Greg, you cannot tell your girlfriend
about any of this.

But surely I can trust the woman I love.

[laughs]
No, you can't.

Because relationships are like
an un-serviced boiler.

It's all nice and warm and cosy,
and then suddenly,

the pilot light goes out and you
find yourself sleeping in your car.

[Myrna] John, what is going on with you?

Nothing's going on, Myrns, I'm fine.

No, you are not fine.

If this is about your boiler, you
should get a pre-payment service plan,

only 12 quid a month.
Probably spend more on coffee.

The boiler was a metaphor!

What is going on with you?

Ruth and I have, uh,
consciously uncoupled.

What?

We are momentarily un-together.

Oh.

What happened?

It doesn't matter what happened!

John, we are friends.

You can talk to me.

[John] You want a divorce?!

No, it's not a divorce.

- It's a trial separation.
- Why would we do that?

- Because you're clearly not happy.
- I'm happy!

No, you're not, John,
and that's making me unhappy.

Look, I can do... I can do
any of my figuring out in the spare room.

You know?

Or is this about the driving?
'Cos I'll get another job.

- I'll get a better job.
- It's not about your job.

It's about you dealing with
all your anger, all your frustration.

Ever since we failed
to sue your father,

your emotions have been
all over the place.

No, they haven't.

You cried when Traffic Cone
got knocked out of Masked Singer.

- Because Aled Jones was robbed!
- [Ruth sighs]

I wish I could help but I can't.
Only you can do that.

You need time and space to figure out
what's going on with you,

how to move forward, how to be happy.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I'm handling it.

Because I have my mindfulness app.

I'm keeping my father at arm's length.

It's my daughter's


and when I walk into
that girl's birthday party,

I'm telling you right now, I will be...

[inhales deeply]

It'll be figured out.

Can I just apologise again
for failing to help you sue your dad?

All part of the journey, friend.

No hard feelings, eh?

Just so you know, um,

if you'd got a couple
of board members together,

you could have called a vote of
no confidence, squeezed your dad out.

Hmm?

I'm just saying that would have been
cheaper and easier than suing him.

Why didn't you suggest this
at the time, Greg?

Uh... W... I...

Pretty sure I did
actually, it's just...

you seemed quite determined to sue your...

- [John shouts]
- Argh!

You ruined me!

My life went to sh*t
when you lost my case!

- [Myrna] John!
- I would've thought with those glasses

you would've been able
to read the f*cking small print!

[Myrna] John! Remember your mantra.
I am blooming...

f*ck my mantra, Myrns!

I'm not blooming like a flower.

I've got blight and I've got black spots
because of this one!

Look, we'll just end up
having to dig two graves!

But, Myrna,
you haven't even dug one grave yet!

Uh!

- [Myrna gasps]
- What?

Uh! Ah!

[Greg whimpering] God!

Who's gonna, uh,
do the honours with the old...

[John grunts]

[John groans angrily]

- [John muttering]
- [Myrna retching]

- [hacksaw blade sawing]
- I... I can't look at that.

[both retching]

- [John grunting]
- Ooh!

[hacksaw blade sawing]

- [dog barking]
- [Greg] Hey, do you see...

- [dog panting]
- Dog walker.

Dog walker, dog walker,
dog walker, dog walker!

- [John groans]
- Ooh! Ooh!

[dog barking]

[man] Good girl. Come on then. Come on.

- [Greg] He's gonna find him!
- [Myrna] Shhh!

What do we do with these?

[tinfoil rustling]

In hindsight,
clingfilm would've been better.

[dog barking]

- [dog whimpering]
- [man] What have you found, boy?

- [dog sniffing and barking]
- Eh?

Holy sh*t!

- Oh!
- [dog barks]

[phone beeps, line ringing]

[dog barks]

Yeah, police, please. I've found a body.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'll look it up now.

[phone beeping]

Hunch, bumpy, strut.

Oh, he's using the wordy thing.
I told you we should've done that.

We're trapped!

How are you hungry?!

- [dog barking]
- Chester! Oh!

- Go!
- [man] Chester?

[Chester barking]

[Myrna panting]

[barking continues]

Well, it would be my baby
in terms of the ultimate responsibility.

[laughs] I thought the offer
was to co-parent.

Oh, it is, it is. I'm just trying
to make it easier for you.

There is no easy way, Gabby.

You can't diminish the size of this
just so I'll say yeah.

It's still a baby.

And we've only just met.

I want to be a mother, Sarah.

I want to bring a baby into the world
and show it that it...

it can be a beautiful place
and that a mother can...

can be present and happy and healthy.

And loving and caring.

I think that's great, Gabby.

But that's not my journey, it's yours.

Couldn't you date a mother-to-be?

I promise I'll be one of those really
cool mums at music festivals

with the baby wearing headphones
in a papoose.

And nothing will be ruined downstairs.
I am too posh to push.

I will have a C-section and a tummy tuck
in the same afternoon.

Listen to me.

You do not have to make those promises.

You do whatever you have to do
to bring a healthy baby into the world.

Just not with me.

I'm sorry.

[poignant music plays]

[dramatic music sting]

[soft gasp]

[knocking on door]

John.

We agreed you can't just drop round.

Yeah, I know.
I'm not coming in, it's okay.

I just want you to know that I know
how to make myself happy.

I know how to move forward
and it's happening, Ruth.

Okay? And tomorrow is
the first day of the rest of our lives.

[Selforth] Hey.

Why have you been speaking to
Diane Pemberley about me?

[sighs]

- What are those?
- You tell me.

I found them in your desk.

Why the hell were you looking in my desk?

Gaffer's orders.

It was either me or Counter Corruption.

[Haines] What are these?

A Swiss bank account in your name

and a burner phone with only
two people's numbers on it.

One of them's a drug dealer
and the other's Rani Rekowski.

Sorry, what are you accusing me of?

I'm not accusing you, Luce.

I just know how it will play out in court.

What have you told the gaffer?

Nothing.

What do you want me to do?

Bury it?

Is that a test?

I have nothing to hide, Rob.

Oh, John, I wasn't expecting to see you.

- Let's take the b*stard down.
- What?

Organise a vote of
no confidence in my dad.

Board'll be split 50/50,
I'll have the deciding vote.

Dad's out. You reinstate me
as general manager.

And you'd be okay
to do this to your own father?

It's just business.

And also, f*ck him.

[birds twittering]

[indistinct chatter]

Forensics reckon he's been dead
around 60 hours.

Whoever dumped him
took his personal belongings.

And his thumbs.

- Any luck ID-ing him?
- Yeah, he's an associate of The Dean.

His name's Marshall Smiley.

Also known as Smiler.

Would you care to identify yourself?

DS Tony Burgess, Met Police.

Love the beige mac. Big Columbo fan?

[Monroe] What's the Met doing down here?

Trying to dig up a missing informant
but looks like you've done it for me.

He was your informant?

Once a week, we'd get together,
share a bit of gossip

and a nice charcuterie platter.

But this week he never showed up.

Speed camera caught his car
doing 80 on the M4.

Only Smiler wasn't driving.

Huh! Gasp.

- Who was?
- This little minx.

- I know her. That's Rani...
- Rani Rekowski.

PNC has her on the system.

- Do you know where to find her?
- Ooh! Ask me! Ask me!

Ever heard of a Benjamin Eastfield?

[bell ringing]

Do you know why I'm here?

Yeah! Your mum and dad never liked you!

There's been a hostile takeover.

It's time for you
to close up shop and retire.

- You get me? You get me?
- Yeah.

Argh!

What happened to your neck?

This is a love bite that I got
from Big Dave on E wing,

during the prison dinner dance.

I was sent a f*cking message!

That's what it is.
What's going on out there?

The Colombians have taken
their business elsewhere.

[sighs] And what's Jonas doing about it?

Nothing.

He went over to the Albanians.

Mullen and Bowers too.

Where's the bloody loyalty?!

Jesus! I spend 20 years
building my business.

I'm in here six months
and it's in bloody flames.

I need to get out now!

Your trial starts today.
You have to trust my process.

Screw your process.

I was set up and people need to confess.

No one's going to confess.

People will do anything,
they just need the right incentive.

[knocking on door]

[Burgess] Police! Open up!

[knocking]

Open up!

Hello!

There, there, here.
I'll take the front room.

- Hello, Ben.
- Search everything.

- What's going on?
- We have a warrant to search this address

in connection with a body found
this morning in Leigh Woods.

Where were you between the hours
of 10:00pm and 6:00am last night?

- I was here. Sleeping.
- Do you know where Rani is?

- [Burgess] Come on, this way.
- No.

Don't lie to us, Ben. This is serious.

Look, I haven't seen her
since we broke up.

She dumped you on the train, right?

Is it true you locked yourself
in the disabled toilet

and played Adele all the way to Plymouth?

[indistinct background chatter]

[Rani grunts]

[Burgess grunts]

[groans]

[Rani chuckles]

- Open the door! Open the door!
- Open the door!

Open the door now!

Sarge.

[Burgess panting]

Well done.

[suspenseful music plays]

[lock beeps]

We're looking for 209.

- Anything?
- No.

Myrns!

Come, come.

[John] Here, here.

[John] Oh!

Mm.

- [John blows]
- [man] Everything okay?

- Yep. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. Great.

[Myrna] Thanks.

- [lock blips]
- Oh.

- [blows]
- Ooh, d...

Ooh! John!

- [lock blips]
- No!

sh*t!

[shutter rattling]

Right. Come on.

Oh!

Myrns.

[keypad beeping]

- [beeps]
- Oh!

- [lock clicks]
- Yes!

See what's on that phone.

Phone's locked.

Huh!

It's wiped. No emails, texts, nothing.

Video.

Hey, baby.

I know you said it was a mad idea

but I can't see no future where
we ain't looking over our shoulders.

So I'm on my way to meet the brain box.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

But if she can get us in The Dean's gaff
and we boost his hard drive, he's done.

So I gotta try.

But if you're watching this
it means I've screwed up.

So get straight on that plane,
live your life,

and know that I love you
and our gorgeous girl with all my heart.

Come on.

[reporters shouting]

The trial of alleged drug kingpin
Liam Mathieson

gets underway today in the centre of...

[Diane] Yeah, I'm gonna be up there
in a minute, taking the stand.

Telling the truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.

[chuckles]

I'm the prosecution's top-shelf witness.

Bit like a top-shelf whisky.
Comes out for important occasions.

Deep and full of character.

- Spicy and complex.
- Mm.

Smooth finish but still packs a punch.

Full-bodied and aged for years.

- There, you see, you took it too far.
- I'm so sorry.

[gavel bangs]

[sighs]

Miss Pemberley, how long have you
worked for Bristol Probation Service?

Seven years, man and boy.

And you've been
a Police Community Support Officer for...?

Six months.

You'd get less for m*rder. [laughs]

No, you wouldn't.
You'd get 15 to 30 years for m*rder,

depending on the nature of the offence.

- For instance...
- Kindly leave the sentencing to me.

Yes, milord.

Following a visit to
a community centre opening,

narcotics were found in the boot of my
client's car by Detective Sergeant Haines.

Mr Mathieson contends that,
unbeknownst to him,

the narcotics were placed in his car by
criminals in league with Sergeant Haines.

Criminals allegedly
under your supervision.

Is that a valid contention?

Un-valid.

Said criminals know that
I do not tolerate misbehaviour.

Insubordination is like
water sports on a first date.

Not having it.

[laughter]

She knows.

Plus I was with them
throughout the opening,

so they did not have time to plant
anything without me seeing.

You weren't otherwise engaged
at any point?

Don't know what you mean.

Are you familiar
with the word porta-potty?

- Could you use it in a sentence, please?
- Mm.

You didn't, for instance,
find yourself trapped for 11 minutes

inside a porta-potty?

No, I rocked it back and forth,
toppled it to its side,

them performed a professional Eskimo roll
that I'd learnt at canoe club.

Does that sound like someone
who's "trapped" inside a shitter?

[laughter]

Quiet!

[quiet laughter continues]

Is it true you have aspirations
to become a police detective,

like DS Haines?

It is.

Will you tell the court some of
the nicknames you've been given

based on your desire
to become a police detective?

Um...

- Poundland Poirot.
- [laughter]

Crappy Valley.

[laughter]

Scooby Don't.

- [laughter]
- Um...

Line Of Judy with Thicky McClure.

- Um...
- And who gave you these nicknames?

Criminals?

- Uh, colleagues.
- [hysterical laughter]

Stop it!

That is all.

I've been calling. Did you not
get my messages? I've been worried.

I didn't eat the moussaka.

Well, speaking of, um,

there's something that's eating me up

that I have to tell you.

- God, I don't even know where to start.
- I need to tell you something too.

Oh, well, ladies first, obvs.

Greg, you and I...

we need to split up.

What? Why?

Is it 'cos I'm needy? I bet
it's 'cos I'm needy, I'm super needy.

- 'Cos I'm needy?
- No, it's not that.

- You don't think I'm needy?
- Yes.

I think you're the neediest person
I've ever met.

- Including children?
- Yes, including children.

- But that's not why we need to split up.
- Why then?

Graeme.

My ex-husband.

He and I, we've been seeing each other.

We were together the last few nights,
which is why I missed your calls.

We want to give it another go.

But he watched Ozark without you!

Well, he says he's willing to start again,
from the beginning.

Well...

Oh, Greg, it's no reflection on you.

It's just that Graeme and I,
we have a history.

A sexual chemistry.

He understands my body
and what to do with it.

Whereas you just point

and look confused like you're trying
to order an ice cream in Spain.

Do you know the Spanish
for rum and raisin?

I think you're missing the point, Greg.

Graeme and I have to give it another go.

I think I need to leave now.

Oh, what... what did you want to tell me?

Nothing important.

[door shuts]

[birds calling]

[gentle music plays]

[door closes]

Hey.

Where have you been?

I need to tell you something, Sean.

And when you've heard it,
if you want to leave or...

report me or whatever,

I understand.

Remember that night during the riots
when you left?

I regret it every day.

It kept us apart for too long.

I firebombed that police station,
like I said I would.

Only, it wasn't empty.

A policeman died.

I know.

Well, not for certain,
but I guessed as much.

When I first got to Toronto,
my mother would send me

the clippings of The Evening Post.

I read about the firebombing.

I put two and two together.

I am a bad person, Sean.

You were young.

You made a terrible mistake.

I k*lled a man.

It was an accident.

You were fighting a bigger fight.

I'm still guilty.

And I'm sure you feel that guilt
every day.

But from what The Evening Post told me,
you've done a lot of good work

for a lot of deserving people
in the intervening years.

You're allowed to forgive yourself.

How are you so bloody understanding?

I'm a psychologist.

It's my job.

Darling! Where have you been?

I went to see Anne-Marie and she...

You need to call my dad's lawyers.
I'm not taking the settlement.

- Oh, Gabby, that's a bad idea.
- I'm the boss, sweetie.

Get them on the phone.

Come on, Greg!

[folk guitar plays]

[Spencer singing]
♪ I've been trying to do it right ♪

- [tambourine rattles]
- ♪ I've been living a lonely life ♪

♪ I've been sleeping here instead ♪

♪ I've been sleeping in my bed ♪

♪ Sleeping in my bed ♪

[strumming]

Hey!

- ♪ So show me family ♪
- [phone buzzes, ringtone plays]

Oh for fu...

- Sorry, love.
- Hello?

Greg before wicket, I'm with a date.
Why are you calling me now?

Confuse my number with
the sexual health clinic again?

The results are still negative. You need
to have sex to catch something, mate.

Yeah, you can't get an STD
from staring at women on the bus, Greg.

I'm calling about the settlement offer.

Lady Gabby says...

"No deal."

- See you in court.
- [laughing]

[laughter continues]

Greggers can't be choosers.
Real talk, mate.

We'll drown you in paperwork
then destroy you in court.

This will be more humiliating
than the time you called the judge

"Mummy" and he won't
hug you better this time.

So you tell Lady Gabriella "Fame-wh*re"

that we'll screw her harder
than that Russian gymnast.

Lady Gabriella "Fame-wh*re" speaking.

H-hello, Your Ladyship.

You can tell my father
that I know he stole

the 4 million quid my mother left me,

and I'm coming for it.

Because I've decided to become a mum
myself and I'm going to raise a child

on my own and every time
I run into trouble, I'm going to say,

"What would my father do?"

And then do the exact f*cking opposite.

[sighs] Sarah bailed.

You really gonna do this on your own?

No, sweetie, I have you.

[phone buzzing, ringtone plays]

Hello?

If Rani Rekowski is your ex-girlfriend,

why is she living in your flat?

She's not living there.

She needed a place to stay.

- I gave her a room for the night.
- Yeah?

Only thing my ex
ever give me was pubic lice...

and a son called Bertie,
who's a right little ponce.

Plays the French horn.

Out of choice.

So did you knob Rani for old times' sake,

then bury the bloke she stabbed,

or was it stab then knob?

I didn't sleep with Rani.

So you buried him but she didn't put out?

Oh, blue ba*ls!

She's mugged you off...

when she should have tugged you off.

Look, I didn't bury anybody

because there's no way
that Rani k*lled someone.

Nah? 'Cos we've run tests on the knife.

It matches the DNA of the victim.

And your ex's prints...

are all over it.

Are you gonna charge my client?

Not today.

But I wouldn't go
booking any holidays, Blue ba*ls.

Away you go.

Don't worry, you can still book a holiday
if it's ATOL protected.

[John] Won't be
driving this thing come Monday.

I'm taking my old job back.

I'm in senior management. Yourself?

- I'm a lawyer.
- Oh.

Lovely family.

Is your wife excited about your new job?

She will be when I tell her.

Glad to hear it.

A man should take care of his family.

So easy for harm to befall them.

As a lawyer I see terrible things
happen to nice people all the time.

Like my client, for instance,

who's on trial because of
some naughty things

you and your friends did.

Before I got there, you didn't, um...
What's the phrase?

Uh, squeal like a little b*tch, did you?

No, Greg.

- Got any change?
- Nah, sorry.

Who carries change anymore?

Ben, Ben!

No. Stay away from me!

- I didn't do this! I didn't do...
- They found the m*rder weapon in your bag.

That doesn't make me a m*rder*r!

Oh, come on, Netflix are probably
making a documentary about you.

That policeman searching your flat,
he's the one who k*lled Smiler, not me.

Seriously?

k*ller cops?

Look, I don't wanna hear
your lies no more, Rani.

The Dean was wondering
if you and your friends are free

to give evidence in his trial.

Why would we do that?

So you can tell the jury
that Rani Rekowski

conspired with Christian Taylor
and Detective Sergeant Haines

to plant evidence in the boot of his car.

That never happened.

But you'll all stand in the witness box
and say it did.

And if we don't?

Then I'll have to tell my client

and he has quite the temper.

So you'll have to pray he doesn't
take it out on your lovely family.

Please! I can prove I'm innocent.
I just...

- I just need your help.
- We helped you already.

We hid a body for you!

I sawed off a man's thumbs
and can never forget that.

Do you know how many times a day
you look at your thumbs?

'Cos I do!

We can stop the guilt
if we prove who really k*lled him

and I have a plan to do that.

No, no, no! And... And if we can't then...
then you can turn me in yourselves.

I'll take the blame for... for Smiler,
for the drug dealing, for everything.

I just need you to trust me...

one last time.

[dramatic music plays]

[closing theme music plays]