03x08 - Self-Discipline - The Dancing Horses of Sybaris

[bunniefuu]

♪ Tell me a story

♪ Read me a poem ♪

♪ Wrap it in melody ♪

♪ Sing me the song ♪

♪ Then let me hold it ♪

♪ Deep in my heart ♪

♪ Where it can speak to me ♪

♪ All the day long ♪

♪ The adventure of virtue ♪

♪ The adventure of truth ♪

♪ The thrill of knowing ♪

♪ That it's up to you ♪

♪ Building a new day shining in the sun ♪

♪ This is my story ♪

♪ The adventure has ♪

♪ begun. ♪

Zach: Come on.

Just a little bit further.

That's it! Go!

Go, Zorgon!

Yeah, yeah, you're almost there.

Just keep going.

Come on, Zach.

You've been playing

that silly computer game all morning.

You should be getting ready for the camp-out.

It's a chance to apply all the skills we've learned

in our guidebook.

Hey, I'm ready.

I'm always ready.

I have to be ready

if I'm going to annihilate the Xylopods.

Right.

Do you think it's easy blasting an alien slime-cactus

with a photon laser on half power?

I don't know about alien slime-cactus

but you better know the difference

between poison ivy and clover.

and the difference between a rattler and a garter snake.

Hey, reptiles are my specialty.

Let's see.

Left over right, right under left

over and through.

Finally! I did it!

The perfect square not.

It took a lot of practice to get that right.

That stuff's as easy as tying my shoes.

Hey-h*, Spring Valley Rangers.

Time to hit the trail.

Coming, Mr. Nichols.

Zach, the other rangers are waiting.

Coming, Dad, as soon as I vaporize Replicor.

Hey!

The lasso... a very useful knot

wouldn't you say, Zach?

Yeah, whatever.

Very nice, Rangers.

Very nice.

What?

( laughing )

Well, Zach, you could start

with tying your shoes.

We learned that knot in Little Rangers.

( all laughing )

All right, Spring Valley Rangers

this overnight camp-out is

a chance to put study and discipline into practice.

To learn to survive in the woods

to conquer the elements

and experience that feeling of pride

that comes with being competent at what you do.

All right, time to recite the Ranger Motto.

All: "Work hard, play hard, always expect the unexpected."

Okay, let's break camp.

( all cheering )

A quick rematch with Replicor and I'm in level nine.

Annie: Hey, Zach, catch.

Hey, watch it.

You know the Ranger Motto, Zach.

"Always expect the unexpected."

And you should leave a sleeping bag

lying on the ground.

Wouldn't want a scorpion to get inside it.

Scorpion?

You do know what they look like, don't you?

Oh, sure, I do.

But maybe I should refresh my memory.

Scorpions, page , paragraph six in your guidebook.

Annie: Come on, Zach.

There's still work to do to set up camp.

Oh, be right there.

Whoa, this dude's uglier than a Xylopod.

Very nice, Rangers.

There. That takes care of mine.

I see you've all done your homework.

Man, these knots are trickier than I thought.

Okay, let's see.

Right under left.

Left over...

Need any help, Zach?

Oh, I'm fine.

It sure is a lot easier keeping lunch in the fridge.

Yeah, but at home

we don't have to share it with bears.

Uh, yeah, right.

Just let me concentrate, okay?

Can't really be much different than tying my shoes.

Having a little trouble with that knot, son?

Nah, I got it.

There.

( grunts )

( all laughing )

Got to work on those knots, son.

Uh, right, Dad.

Here, let me show you how an expert does it.

Been practicing, have you, Zach?

Who needs to?

I'm a guy.

This kind of stuff comes naturally.

( grunting )

Must be a dull blade.

( grunting )

( laughing )

Page , paragraph three:

"When splitting logs, always cut

in the same direction as the grain of the wood."

Uh, yeah, thanks.

I must have skipped that page.

That's not poison ivy, is it?

Well, if you'd have read page , paragraph two

you'd know that poison ivy has three leaves, not two.

Oh, right.

I was just testing you.

Nice work, Rangers.

Now we're ready to build a fire.

This is too much work, Dad.

I thought camping was supposed to be fun.

The fun comes after the work.

The harder you work, the more fun the fun is.

Okay, let's take out our fishing poles

and see if we can catch lunch.

Fishing-- finally something I can get into.

I assume you practiced

the proper casting technique, Zach?

Hey, it's a sport.

Sports come easy to me.

( laughing )

Looks like we're having fillet of sole.

( laughing )

Where are you going, Zach?

To get more firewood.

This Ranger stuff is for nerds.

Those guys don't have a clue how to have a good time.

Ouch!

Oh, I'm seeing stars.

It's not even nighttime yet.

Sock! Sock, are you all right?

There. Good as new.

What's with the uniform?

It's my Spring Valley Ranger uniform.

We're out on a camping trip.

So, uh, what are you doing out here all alone by yourself?

Did you get lost or something?

If you're lost, Zach, I can show you the way back.

I'm not sure I really want to go back just yet, Aurora.

What is it, Zach?

You seem a bit lost.

Hey, I can find my way around, Plato.

Not that kind of lost, Zach.

Lost in confusion

as if something was troubling your mind.

Yeah, well, it all started with this.

I have to do all this studying and practicing

just to tie some stupid knots.

Ah!

I thought joining the Rangers would be a real blast.

I didn't realize there was so much work involved

in having fun.

Well, Zach, there's nothing wrong with singing and dancing

and having a good time.

That's right.

But it sometimes takes discipline, preparation

and hard work to be ready for life's challenges.

Oh, which reminds me.

I have to fly up into the mountains

to track a storm.

You see, Zach, life isn't all fun and games.

But once there was a king and his people who thought so.

That's your cue, Ari.

Hmm? Oh, right.

( clears throat )

"In the south of Italy there once flourished

"a Grecian community called Sybaris.

"The Sybarites were a very prosperous people

"and over the years

"through hard work and discipline

"they had built a glorious kingdom.

"Good fortune smiled upon them

and maybe it would have kept smiling

if it weren't for all the celebrating.

It seems the easy life was contagious

and so singing and dancing became the national pastime.

The orange crop certainly has been

bountiful this year, Acidophulus.

Well, I'll toast to that Bifidus.

King: Enough already

Enough, enough, enough!

Boring! Get rid of him.

Bring on the next act, Ludicrus.

And now here they are, direct from Mount Olympus

The Jumping Jupiter Brothers.

Hup! Hey! h*!

Hey! h*!

Hup! Hup! Ha-ha!

( sighs )

( all yell )

Is that all you could come up with, Ludicrus?

Well, we are a bit short on new talent, your Majesty.

Is there no more fun left under the sun

befitting of a king?

Perhaps if we were to hold a talent show

we might find someone worthy enough

to entertain you.

Glorious idea, Ludicrus.

We'll have a competition.

Offer a grand prize to anyone who can tickle my fancy.

Ari: "Now, once upon a time

"the Sybarites were mighty warriors

"with the finest cavalry horses in all the world

"but now they all sat idly in their stables

"for what was a battle horse to do

in these times of merriment?"

Listen to that music, Seabiscus.

It's not fair.

Why can't I have as much fun as everyone else

singing and dancing and eating the fruits of the gods?

Why do I have to spend all my time

washing and brushing horses?

Nothing personal, Seabiscus

but I can play with the best of them.

( playing lively melody )

At least someone appreciates my talents.

Ludicrus: Citizens of Sybaris, A proclamation from the King:

"Whereas all Sybarites are dedicated

"to the art of amusement

"and whereas the King himself is

"especially fond of such pleasures

"his Royal Majesty does hereby announce

"the first annual Sybarite talent contest.

First prize, one million drachmas."

Did you hear that, Seabiscus?

One million drachmas.

Think of all the fun that would buy.

But what talent do I have that's good enough for a king?

There's a thousand flute players in Sybaris.

There must be some way I can stand out from the rest.

( playing lively melody )

That's it.

I'll teach all of you to dance.

We'll be the best act in all the land.

I can see it now.

Our names in stone--

"The Dancing Horses of Sybaris.

All right, horses, just follow the steps to the dance.

On the count of three. A one and a two and a three.

Hey-hey, that's it!

You're getting the hang of it!

Ari: It wasn't long before the dancing horses

were ready to perform before the King.

Man: And now for our first contestant...

that marvelous maven of magic, Abracadabracus!

( audience booing and hissing )

Oh, big deal.

And now the funniest man in the ancient world

that King of Comedy, Shecky Punicus!

Okay, okay, you're going to love this one.

How many Sybarites does it take

to screw in a lightbulb?

All: What's a lightbulb?

That's the punch line.

You're not supposed to guess the punch line.

( audience booing ) That wasn't funny, Ludicrus.

Do you know what the Romans do for fun?

They throw their citizens to the lions.

We wouldn't want to resort to that, now, would we?

Uh, no, Your Majesty.

Uh, there's still one more act.

Uh, just give it a chance?

This better be good, Ludicrus.

Uh... uh... and now

The Dancing Horses of Sybaris!

A-one, and a-two and a-three.

( playing "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush" )

( all cheering )

King ( laughing ): Dancing horses!

How utterly delightful!

Dancing horses-- splendid idea.

I am pleased to give you your reward, young Fluticus.

( audience cheering )

Ari: Fun and frolic rose

to even greater heights as all of Sybaris

flocked to see the dancing horses

and there was always a new dance to tickle the King's fancy.

Well, hey, everybody's having a good time.

I don't see the problem.

Neither did the Sybarites.

It's like the summer, Zach--

a carefree time when the deer run free

and the fish jump high

but if we are not prepared for an occasional storm

then the fun will be no more.

Read on, Ari.

The Sybarites had for neighbors

a community of hard workers, students and tradesmen.

They were called the Crotoniates

because they built their community

on the Croton River.

They worked hard and were very disciplined

and they looked with longing eyes

upon the fair gardens and stately palaces of Sybaris.

Crotoniate King: Look at all the wealth and splendor going to waste.

Those lazy Sybarites don't deserve such luxury.

There must a be a way to defeat the Sybarites, Cohorticus.

But every time we've tried, Your Majesty

we've been conquered.

Their army is mighty

and their cavalry horses are the finest in the land.

All we have are sheep and shepherds.

I fear it is hopeless.

Hmm... perhaps our spy

will bring us information exposing their weakness.

Who goes there?

Me? Oh, I'm a spy for the Crotoniate army.

A spy! That's a good one!

Very funny!

Fools them every time.

So, my dear comrades, what's new in Sybaris?

You mean you haven't heard?

What? Some new invasion plan

or perhaps the overthrow of the King?

No, much better than that.

Dancing horses!

That's it? Nothing else, just dancing horses?

That's the whole of it.

Isn't it a kick?

Dancing horses?

What kind of useless dribble is that?

I have no idea. Perhaps it's a diversion.

Wait! That's it!

I've found their weakness!

You have?

I have.

Alert the army.

We attack at dawn.

Indeed you are right, Ludicrus.

It is the Crotoniate army, if you can call them that.

An invasion before breakfast.

Sounds like delightful fun.

A call to arms will do nicely

and while you're at it, summon my cavalry horses.

This is going to be very amusing, very amusing indeed.

You there! Fluticus!

I have a proclamation from the King:

"Whereas the Crotoniate army is invading

"and whereas it will be great fun to grind our enemies into dust

the King hereby orders the cavalry horses into battle."

Oh, no, it can't be!

I've got to warn the King.

You must not go into battle, Your Majesty.

Nonsense, my boy.

The weather's lovely, my troops are well-fed

and my horses are in the best of spirits.

It's a perfect day for w*r.

But you don't understand.

You're not prepared. You'll lose.

Lose to the Crotoniates, those boring stick-in-the-muds?

Impossible.

But you don't understand.

( coughing )

A toast to the King and his cavalry horses.

May they dance to victory.

Onward!

Charge!

A-one, and a-two and a-three!

( playing up-tempo melody )

( groaning )

No! Come back!

What have I done?

All the great horses of Sybarite lost forever.

This is no fun, no fun at all.

Ari: Thus it was

that the Sybarites lost the fine cavalry

of which they had been so proud.

The conquest of their city by the Crotoniates

followed soon thereafter, for how in any contest

between so idle and so industrious a community

could it have been otherwise?

Dancing horses-- cool story.

I guess those Sybarites

could have spent a little more time

preparing to defend their city instead of partying.

But they didn't have the discipline.

Right.

The storm!

It's changed direction. It's heading this way.

Oh, no, I've got to warn my dad and the other Rangers...

if I can figure out how to get back.

I can guide you to the river, Zach.

Great, let's go.

Good-bye, Zach.

Good luck.

Zach, there you are.

I was beginning to worry.

I thought you had gotten lost.

Never mind that, dad.

There's a storm coming.

We've got to make a shelter.

But there isn't a cloud in the sky

and I checked the weather report before we left.

Clear skies all weekend.

But you don't understand.

The wind has changed.

I got it from a... a reliable source.

Why don't you go have some fun, Zach?

Join your fellow Rangers for a swim.

Yeah, right, whatever you say, dad.

Hey, guys, there's a storm coming.

You've got to help me build a shelter.

A storm? On a sunny day like this?

Come on in, Zach, the water's great.

I guess I'll have to handle this myself.

Okay, let's see here.

Page : "How To Build a Lean-To."

Very nice work, Zach.

I'm impressed

but why all this trouble when there's obviously no storm?

I'm just putting the Rangers' motto into practice, dad:

Work hard, play hard, and always expect the unexpected.

( thunder rumbling )

This is great, Zach.

If it weren't for your lean-to, we'd have had to go home.

Hey, nothing like

a little hard work and discipline to save the day.

But how did you know it was going to rain?

Uh... a little bird told me.

So who knows a campfire story?

Oh, I know one.

It's called "The Dancing Horses of Sybaris."

It seems that in the south of Italy

there was once a Grecian community called Sybaris.

The Sybarites were a very prosperous people.

Their land was lush, the weather was wonderful...