14x11 - Press Pass

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

[Kim] What are you doing
the rest of the day?

[Kris] I'm not going nowhere.

I got, like, maybe 4,000 emails
to answer and...

-Same.
-[Kris] Why?

[Kim] Just asking.

Uh, we had something for you to sign,
but I think we just gave it to Alexa.

-[Kim] Mm.
-[Kris] Did we send that

signature page to Alexa?

[quirky music]

Flour b*mb!

[laughter]

What the [bleep]! Did you...

What... What is [bleep] wrong with you?

We just wanted to see
what you would look like with gray hair.

-How am I gonna get this off of me?
-[Khloé] Oh, my God.

Your hair looks so good.
[claps]

-Mom, you got to see your hair.
-[Kim] It does.

-[Khloé] Look.
-No.

[laughter]

Oh, well, good,
I'll just dip my head in a ball of flour

when I go out every night.

[laughter continues]

[Kris] How do I even get cleaned up?

[blowing air]

[theme music]

-[Jonathan] Hot damn. Oh, hot damn.
-Crazy.

Oh, [bleep], what's up?

Oh, my God, you're on fire today.

-What?
-Holy [bleep]!

I haven't seen you
in an outfit like this in a long time.

-[Kim] What?
-Yeah.

-[Kim] Kanye picked it out.
-I love it.

He sent me, like, a whole email, like,
"You cannot wear big glasses anymore.

-It's all about tiny, little glasses."
-[Jonathan] That's it?

Where did he come up with that?

I don't know. He sent me,
like, millions of '90s photos

with tiny little glasses like this.

-[Kim] "You are an artistic person."
-[Jonathan] I want to get one.

I'm not.

Actually, it lied.

Oh, my God.

-[Jonathan] Thank you.
-Thank you.

Very strong.

I was so annoyed. Kourtney canceled
her workout this morning.

[Jonathan] Did she really?

Yeah, because she said
she wasn't feeling well,

but she literally

will never take medicine,
never do anything.

-Never give the kids medicine.
-[Jonathan] She's so holistic.

-Oh, what's up? Hi.
-I'm freezing.

-I know, I'm freezing.
-[Jonathan] Do you want to get the check?

-Yeah, let's get the check.
-[Jonathan] We're, like, done.

-Where have you been?
-I can't eat anyways.

By the way, you know it's a rule.
You still have to come on time.

[Kim] Why can't you eat?

I'm not eating
because when you're getting sick,

it's best to not eat.

-Okay.
-And knock it out.

So I'm drinking
apple-lemon-ginger-cayenne juice.

[Kourtney] I had a bone broth,
and if I got hungry,

I would have, like,
apple cider vinegar and water.

Since I've been working out
with my bodybuilder Melissa,

I've really focused so much
on how I eat now,

and how to really eat clean and healthy,

and I've realized just how many fad diets
there are out there.

And I feel like Kourtney's always trying
something new and different,

and I just don't know
if it's the healthiest.

Luca's here. Are you friends with him?

-Mm-hmm.
-[Kourtney] He just got here.

I should've told him to come to lunch,
except that I was here for one minute.

Less.

[upbeat music]

-Oh, I got to take this back.
-[Khloé] So take it back.

[Kim] Or were you gonna wear it?

[Khloé] No.

Oh, my God, I heard the craziest stuff
happened at that party the other night.

Did you know, like, when Evelyn was, like,
nuts, and, like, finger-banging herself?

Mm-hmm.

I saw videos of our friends,
there was a bunch of girls going out,

and they were wasted.

One of them just started
fingering herself.

[Khloé] And it's on video.

Apparently, girls get really crazy
when they have a girls night.

-She was not.
-[Khloé] Yeah, she was.

-I saw the videos.
-She was not. I was there.

She was not.

Weren't you asleep that night?
'Cause I heard that you were sleeping.

I saw the videos, it was Kourtney, her,
and whoever else is taking the videos.

You were not in them.
Were you asleep, yes or no?

-I was asleep at that moment.
-[Khloé] Okay, so you were asleep.

But I don't believe that she would be
sitting there doing that.

Why can't you just believe my...
I don't understand why you go from, like,

"That's not true. That didn't happen.
No, that's not true."

I don't know why Kim doesn't believe me.
She never believes me, to be honest.

[Khloé] But I would not
make up this story.

I don't care enough in my life
to just create random stories.

You were there, but you were sleeping,
so you didn't see it.

I'm telling the truth.
You're the [bleep] liar.

I'm telling you I saw it with my own eyes,

but you could go ahead and believe
whoever the [bleep] you want to believe,

and that's cool, we're good.

Totally.

Have a nice time.

You, it's been great, because she was
actually doing it standing over you,

so the fact that you're not chiming
in one time is wonderful.

-[Khloé] But that's okay.
-[Kourtney] It's true.

[tense music]

You could've just said before
I was telling the truth,

so it didn't escalate to that.

You piss me off,
'cause you never believe me.

[Kourtney] Thanks.

What if I just got up, and was like...

boom!
[laughs]

Did you see that I flinched one time?

You did. You're lying again!
You totally flinched.

[laughing]

[Kim] You're so easy to piss off.

You're so easy to make insecure.

Wait till I tell you about
your [bleep] fat ass in a second.

[Khloé] My first time making madeleines.
I hope they taste good.

[Kris] This was my mom's car
when I was a little girl.

Oh, my God.

Isn't this cute? Look at the red interior.

-This is so fun.
-So chic.

-[horn honks]
-[laughs]

[Jonathan] You used to cruise around
in this with your mom?

Yes, she used to take us to the beach
with the top down.

I can visualize, like, the good day.
Like, how fun it was.

It was so much fun.

It really was fun.

[Kris] So did I tell you
I bought my mom a condo?

-[Jonathan] That's incredible.
-It's a whole new chapter.

Aren't you so relieved that she's close?

Yeah.

-Will she hang out the house?
-Well, she's down there by herself.

She's 82 years old.

She has this stomach issue.

When she was going through
her chemo therapy for her colon cancer

and her radiation,
I think she got a lot of damage...

-Oh, of course.
-...to her organs.

[Kris] It's very, very painful.

That's why for my mom to move
from San Diego...

-[Jonathan] Right.
-...it's so, you know...

important.

You know, when I think about it now,
they say it's very life-changing

for somebody older
to make a move like this at this age.

[Jonathan] Oh, boy.

Whoa!

-[Kris chuckles]
-Yikes.

-Okay.
-Ready?

[Jonathan] Yeah.

Oh, I have to take my seat belt off.

-[Kris] Hi.
-[Jonathan] Hi, how are you?

-Oh, the smell.
-Wow. I didn't know you had doughnuts.

What's the biggest, like,
hot fudge sundae thing you make?

-The Kitchen Sink.
-[Kris] We'll take a Kitchen Sink.

[clerk] You got it.

I'm kind of in love with this place.
I'm not gonna lie.

So I'm a little worried
about her getting around.

-Like, my mom's gonna want to come here.
-Yeah, obviously.

Why don't you get her one of those,
like, "I've fallen and I can't get up"?

I did. She'll only wear that in the house.

-[Jonathan] Oh.
-Oh. Candy cigarettes.

-[Kris] Stop.
-[Jonathan] Oh, no, stop.

-This is so good.
-[Jonathan] What are these?

[Kris] Anyway, I got to figure it out.

If I know where she is,

-I'll feel so much more relax.
-You didn't know where she was

-for 27 years at the other place.
-I know, but now she's my responsibility.

She's on my watch now.

What do you think?

[Jonathan] They don't look weird on you.
Is that weird?

[laughter]

Awesome.

-I like this operation.
-[Kris] Yeah.

MJ really prides herself
on being independent,

and hates asking for help.

But, at the same time, I just... I feel like
I've got so much more responsibility

to make sure I know where she is
and that she's safe and okay.

So I really don't know
how else to do that,

unless I make sure I know exactly
where she is 24/7.

-Oh, my God, here it comes. Guys, hold on.
-No.

-[Jonathan] Oh, my God. Guys.
-[Kris] Oh.

-This is food god life.
-It's so cute.

-Oh, my God. Kitchen Sink.
-It's everything, but the Kitchen Sink.

-[Kris] This is wild.
-[Jonathan] Oh, my God.

[clerk] Ready? One, two, three.

[camera shutter clicks]

-[Kris] So cute.
-I love ice cream.

[upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

Oh. My brother. It's Abraham.

-Hello?
-Look who's here.

-Sinbad.
-[Kourtney] Hey, Abe.

Get back.

I was with Dream yesterday,
and she was not happy.

-[Kourtney scoffs]
-I know. She's teething.

[Kourtney] Yeah, I felt so bad.

But everybody was,
"Little Rob, it's Rob in a dress."

Khadijah and Melissa Kolker,
they were, like, dying over her.

That's why I call her Roberta.

[Khloé] Where are you?

-I'm at Pierce College going to my class.
-[chuckles]

-Rob, okay.
-[Kim] Love you, Rob.

-Love you, guys.
-[Kim] Khloé, do you want a frozen banana?

[Khloé] No, I don't like those things.

-[Kourtney] What is that?
-[Kim] It's like a lemon dessert.

[Kourtney] Remember I told you, you're not
supposed to eat processed foods,

in general.

So is this cookie processed?

-Yes, right?
-[Kourtney] Yes.

Does Nillas come from a farm?
No. We shouldn't be eating it.

For example, there is great almond milks
that exist in life.

-Why?
-Chocolate almond milk.

Have your chef make almond milk
fresh once a week.

She made me make it.

[Kourtney] No, they put them
in the Vitamix, and they make vanilla.

It's fresh and it's all nat...
Like, organic almonds and stuff.

Sometimes preservatives
taste just that much better, though.

-[Kim] They really do.
-No, trust me. My almond milk is good.

-[Kourtney] Okay, let's get it together.
-[Khloé] Sara Lee bagels.

I see you, Kim.
You're right up my alley with this fridge.

-That's just so gross to give your kid.
-I want a bagel!

Everything you think you know,

I just read an article
that says that gluten-free diets

actually have more arsenic in them
and could be worse for you.

[Khloé] Arsenic is like a fire, right?
Hold on, a poison.

Arsenic in rice. Did you know that?

"The organs of the body
that are usually affected

by arsenic poisoning are the lungs, skin..."

-Maybe that's why your skin is so bad.
-[Kourtney] Hey, Khloé...

[Khloé] But your skin is horrible.

-That's probably why.
-You, guys, no.

[Khloé] What?

Obviously, I am the healthiest eater
in the Kardashian-Jenner clan.

Kim and Khloé like to give me
a hard time about it,

but they're so behind on,
like, information. I just find it funny.

The reason why people
can get arsenic poisoning

is because they substitute
gluten-free foods

with either corn or rice.

[Kourtney] So you're eating
more rice than normal.

Really, I love rice.
Like, love. Like, white on rice.

-White on rice?
-I love it like white on rice.

-Okay, Khlo.
-[Kim] Why is that a saying?

[Khloé] I don't know what that even means
because there's brown rice too.

-And yellow rice.
-[Khloé] So I love it like brown on rice.

Exactly, and black rice.

-And there's, like, red rice.
-[Khloé] Ooh, fancy.

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

I got this new jean yesterday

that me and Kendall are the ones
who got the first samples, and they're...

[Kourtney] It's so funny. Our stylist
both pull all the same stuff for us.

Really?

-[Kourtney] I mean, some. Certain things.
-[scoffs]

[Khloé] I got a thank you letter
from Planned Parenthood today.

I thought... I had no idea that girl
was gonna say that she was HIV positive.

I wanted to ask, like, "So, where's
your boyfriend now? Like, were you angry?"

-[Khloé] But I was like...
-I know.

[Kim] I wanted to find out,
like, how did he get it?

Like, do you know
you got it from him, like...

Of course, she got it from him.
That's what she was saying.

-[Kim] Yeah.
-It was her first time having...

ever having unprotected sex.

-It's just so crazy.
-I love how you made up this whole story.

Yeah, she did not say that was
her first time having unprotected sex.

-But, Klo...
-Why do you... Why do you do that?

-But I like that Khloé says...
-No, but why do you do that to me

every time?

I think Khloé likes to exaggerate.

When we were younger, she would always
lie just to get attention,

so now I think it's just turned
into this, like, stream of lies.

Don't be a [bleep] bitch,
and make up that I'm a liar.

Kourtney was the one that brought it up,
not even me, and you're yelling at me.

I thought it was cute
how you piece it all together.

But that's what she said. She said,

-"I've never had unprotected sex."
-She did say that.

-[Khloé] It was her best friend...
-I didn't hear that, so my bad.

Obviously, you dipwad,
you don't pay attention to people.

You zone out and you perk up
when it's the right time.

I'm obviously invested
in paying attention.

I didn't hear.

But instead of saying,
"Why do you make up these stories?"

-Okay, you brought it up.
-All you've ever done

is do that type of [bleep].

You're just not a loyal person.

-And that's just my thing with you.
-Okay, this is getting way too deep.

-[Kim] I'm not a loyal person?
-Oh, I don't care. Not with me.

[upbeat music]

[Jonathan] Should we start preheating?

The oven, for the cookies?
Ugh, I need one bite.

Just like that? You could eat it raw?

Yeah, 'cause there's no egg
because it's vegan.

Honestly, I haven't had them as a cookie

'cause cookie dough, to me,
is where it's at.

-Of course.
-[Kim] Okay.

So these are the vials that they sent.

We have to collect sweat.

Go in the sauna.

Definitely, if we're even in the robes,
we'll sweat even more.

Are you sure we're gonna get enough sweat?
I feel like, we have to, like...

You'd have to squeeze me out
to get to fill this in.

Gluten with a sweat test?

-[Kim] Yeah.
-I've never heard of it.

It's to get all your, like, levels,
and it tests, like, your arsenic.

I've never heard of a sweat test,
and it just sounds gross,

but we do some pretty crazy things
to get the information we need,

especially when it comes
to, like, beauty and health.

So I am definitely willing to do
Kim's test to prove that I'm healthier.

[whooshes]

Oh, [bleep]. This is fun.

-[Kim] I've never been in here.
-This is so weird.

[exhales]
You're collecting sweat already?

I'm sweating already, which is great.

[quirky music]

I feel like my legs are sweating.

I feel like a freaking pig.

-Yeah.
-Your face is bright red.

[Jonathan] I'm [bleep] going down.

[quirky music]

I think this is good enough.

-Oh, it looks like cloudy sweat.
-Ew!

-I can't even look.
-[Kim] That is disgusting.

-[Kourtney] I'm ready to get out of here.
-[Jonathan] You ready?

-Yeah.
-I'm done, too. Come on. Let's go.

This is insane.
I've got about three drops.

[Jonathan] I think this test is a goof.

-[Kourtney] Enjoy.
-[Jonathan] Here, Kim. Take our sweat.

At least we're not drinking it, guys.

I think your [bleep] poisoned with makeup.

If we're gonna do this,
let's just all get the real test.

-[Kim] What is the real test?
-[Jonathan] Wasn't this the real test?

I'll ask my doctor,
but I don't want to take false results

from, like, sweat mixed
with, like, makeup and spray tan.

Oh, I get it. That was, like, exhausting.

[Kim] I think I definitely need
to start drinking more water.

[upbeat music]

-[MJ] Have you seen Wonder Woman?
-I am Wonder Woman.

You were when you were little too.

That's what you dressed up for
at Halloween.

-Mm-hmm.
-It was just this real handmade

Wonder Woman.

-I got you.
-It was a white T-shirt,

and we drew things on it and...

-Some shoes.
-[MJ] What? Oh.

Adidas. Love it.

-Thank you.
-How cute are these?

Aw, I love the white. Love it.

-Isn't that great?
-It'll go with me.

-[MJ] Yeah.
-And then I got you

-this little prezzie.
-[MJ] Oh, my goodness.

The greatest little insole...

-that...
-[MJ] For the shoe?

-For the shoe.
-[MJ] Oh, cool.

I don't want MJ to feel
like I am breathing down her neck,

but I really want to know
where she is all the time

so I know she's okay.

[Kris] It's got a little
electronics attached.

[gasps]
So cool.

[MJ] Does it tell you how many steps?

[Kris] I think so.

So I bought her a pair of shoes
to go with these amazing tracking devices.

They will let me know
exactly where Mary Jo is 24/7.

I love technology.

[Kris] Any time you're wearing a shoe,

-put this in.
-Put em...

-[MJ] Yeah.
-It'll just be more comfortable for you.

-Yeah. Put a little bounce in my step.
-[Kris] A little bounce in your flounce.

-[MJ] That is fabulous.
-Let me know how comfortable these are.

I will. Thank you so much.

You're a good daughter.

-[Kris] Just trying.
-I love these.

It doesn't say that it tells you
your steps. Let me see.

-[Kris] Oh, we'll figure it out.
-[MJ] Yeah.

Okay. All right.

I'm gonna put these things away now.

-Okay.
-All right, I love you, Mom.

-I love you. Thank you for my shoes.
-Eat your lunch.

-We don't want you to blow away.
-[MJ chuckles]

[Kris] Eat your lunch.

-I will.
-[Kris] Okay.

[upbeat music]

I didn't get the memo
that we were dressing up for lunch.

I just never go outside. I had to.

I know. It's a good idea.
I love that you did this for me.

-I feel really special.
-You look nice.

-She dressed up for me.
-You're so yummy.

I had hot dates.
I had to impress these two.

-You do.
-Totally impressed.

[Khloé] I'm having a glass of wine,
for sure.

I've been getting into, like,

an obscene amount of fights with Kimberly.

For what?

[Khloé] So, we were talking,
and I was telling her a story.

Kim said, "Why would you say that?"

Not once, like, "Are you sure?"
Or "That just sounds so extreme."

When you accuse me of lying
when I'm not lying, I...

-You get defensive. Yeah.
-[Khloé] Beyond.

[Khloé] Kim and I have a long history
of her doubting me.

But I don't think I'm a liar.
I normally don't lie.

Literally, I used to lie
when I was 16 years old. Who doesn't?

Like, didn't say where I was really going,
I would sneak out.

I was a bad teenager. Most kids are.

But ever since then, I have been labeled
a liar, and it's just frustrating

because I'm not sure why I'm being held
to something I did when I was 16.

And then I was like,
"You know what? [bleep] you.

You always take other people's sides."

But why did you say, "[bleep] you"?

[Khloé] 'Cause she was like,
"You always make up stories."

Your response, Khlo,

is not making this any better.

[Malika] Stop reacting to her.

She's poking the damn bear,
and you're just letting her get you.

[Malika] You're better than that.

You're the last person
that most people want to tee off on

because your word vomit is crazy.

[Khloé] I don't get why I'm so passive
with Kourtney.

I like, laugh, at Kourtney.

With Kim, I will bite down her throat,
and with Kris, I do the same thing.

I don't know why.

So that's you admitting
that you have to change something.

You can't change anybody else.

[Khadijah]
But you can change your reaction.

-I know.
-[Malika] I really think you are.

-You have to work on your patience.
-[Khloé] I do agree it's not right.

-It's like something possesses me.
-[Khadijah] It's a challenge.

[laughs]
I know.

I might need an exorcism.

I always want more patience.
I have so much patience for children.

Then when it comes to my sisters
who are, like, adults,

I have such a short fuse.

So I wish I thought of adults as children.

-Honestly, I love Kim, we just have a...
-It doesn't mean you don't love her.

[Khadijah] It doesn't mean you don't...
[laughs]

We just have
a very dysfunctional relationship.

[laughter]

Love's got nothing to do with it, honey

-Cheers.
-[Khloé] Yeah. Cheers.

-Sorry.
-Cheers.

[Kim] Hey.

-Hi. Hi, guys.
-[Kourtney] Hey, guys.

[Jonathan] Is this where you come
all the time?

[Kourtney] I have to come back again
later today.

-This is your spot?
-This is my spot.

Since Kim's sweat test
was an epic failure,

we decided that a blood and urine test
would be most accurate,

so we are going to a doctor
that I see for food allergies,

and I ask him any health questions
that I have. I always ask him.

-Is it a full blood test here?
-[Kourtney] I don't know.

[Jonathan] I need to know
what kind of doctor this is

before I'm doing any blood.

-Like, what is this?
-This is gluten-free.

This is the gluten-free center.

-[doctor] Hello, guys.
-Hi.

-Hi. How are you?
-I don't think we've met.

-I'm Jonathan. How are you?
-Jonathan.

-Kim, good to see you again.
-How are you? Good to see you.

-[Kourtney] Hi.
-I see you all the time.

So Kim has been wanting to do
a health test,

and we tried, like, a sweat thing
that didn't really work.

[Kim] I just want, like, because Kourtney
is gluten-free and I'm not,

I want to see who's healthier.

-You want to see who's healthier?
-Kim never believes me

that I should be gluten-free.

We want to know,
is this a shrink's office?

'Cause we think Kourtney's insane.

I wanna know what kind
of doctor's office are we in?

[Kim] Yeah, just gluten-free crackers.

[Jonathan] Gluten-free cheese.

-Dairy-free cheese.
-Dairy-free cheese.

All Kourtney is really doing,
which to some people seems extreme,

but she's doing what she needs to do
to get herself feeling as good as she can,

-and being as healthy as she can.
-And I feel great.

-[Dr. Byrnes] Yeah.
-Good for you.

-What she's done is she's broken a cycle.
-[Kourtney] Totally.

-Pretty significantly.
-Yeah.

Okay, so, we're gonna measure
three toxic metals,

and this is a good baseline for you.

[Jonathan]
Is it, like, a needle blood test?

-Yep, yep.
-Meaning that's, like,

blood off the veins, or, like, a finger?

-No, in the arm. You scared?
-[Jonathan] Oh.

No, I just had one yesterday
for something.

-You got plenty of blood.
-[Kourtney] Let's do it.

-Let's do the blood. Who's first?
-[Kim] I'll go first.

No, let me just get it over with, please.
'Cause otherwise, I won't do it, trust me.

Whoever wants to get it over with.
I'll go last.

Oh, I need to lay down when I deal
with blood. Yeah, I have to lay down.

-[Kim] Oh, Jonathan.
-No, I do. I faint sometimes.

-Just by accident.
-[Kim] Oh, come on.

I swear to God. You think I'm kidding?

[Jonathan grunts]

[quirky music]

[nurse] All right.

-Just breathe.
-Okay. I'm good.

-[Kourtney] Did it hurt, Jon?
-[Jonathan] Nope. Zero.

[Kourtney]
Tender touch is what her shirt says.

-[Jonathan] I know, but, like, yeah.
-[Kim] Whoo!

-[nurse] Open.
-You get a lollipop?

So we will see if gluten-free
is the way to be. Thank you so much.

[Kourtney] Okay, everyone. Take a cup.

[Kim] I have to pee so badly.

-What do we do with the pee?
-[Kourtney] Anyone thirsty?

-Oh, my God, you got a ton.
-[Kourtney] I know.

-Here's mine.
-On the rocks.

-[Kim] Drink up.
-Cheers.

[upbeat music]

[line ringing]

[operator]
I'm sorry, but the person you called...

The good thing about this device
is that I can track where MJ is.

The bad thing about the device
is when she's not moving, I get worried.

I've called her now
for the last couple of hours.

She hasn't responded to my phone calls
or my texts,

and that's really not like her.

[line ringing]

-[operator] I'm sorry...
-[phone beeps]

I'm trying to stay calm,
but when it comes to my mom, I worry.

She's still not answering the phone.
Okay, I'm just getting a little worried.

So I'm gonna run over there.
And if you hear anything, text me.

-[Jenna] Okay.
-[Kris] Okay?

All right. Thanks, Jenna. I'll be back.
And if anybody hears from MJ, call me.

[Jenna] Go ahead now.

[tense music]

-[Kris] Hello?
-[ladies] Hello!

-Hi! Where have you been?
-Hi!

-[MJ] What do you mean?
-I've called you a million times.

[MJ] Oh.

-[Kris] Where's your phone?
-It's right over here.

[MJ] I think I had it turned down
or something.

-I've text you. Worried about you.
-[MJ] What do you want?

[woman] That's so sweet, though,
that she's so worried about you.

-[MJ] You don't have to worry.
-How are you?

-Don't worry.
-[Kris] You look beautiful.

-How about a kiss for me?
-[Kris] Yes, I did.

Well, I never know where you are.

-[MJ] Thanks for taking care of me.
-[Kris] You're welcome.

I love you looking after me,

but just don't drill
any holes in the wall.

Okay. All right. I'm good, Mom.

-See you, guys. Bye.
-Bye, guys.

-All right. I love you, Mom.
-Thank you.

[upbeat music]

Whose [bleep] bag is this in the back,
rocking back and forth?

-[bag screeches]
-[shushes]

[woman] I am naturally calm.

[laughs]

And I shall remain calm at all times.

[Khloé laughs]

I am fully in control of my emotions.

-I am firm yet calm.
-[Khloé] I am firm? Oh.

I am firm yet calm. I can do that.

After my lunch with the twins,

I decided that I should at least try
with my aggression.

[woman]
Patient despite frustrating situations.

Hear, hear, woman.

[Khloé] Kim's been avoiding me
ever since our last fight.

Even to the point where she was refusing
to go to some health test with Kourtney

if I was there,
so I feel like I have to reach out to Kim,

use my words and speak calmly.
Try to apologize.

[line ringing]

-[Kim] Hello?
-Hey.

What's up?

Um...

I know, like,
we've been fighting a lot recently

and just, like, the whole thing
in the closet.

-Like, I just want to say I'm sorry...
-You just, like, snapped for no reason.

It's, like, just... just crazy
how you just snapped.

And it's just not even valid.

Just call me back when you feel like
being a nice, decent human being.

Instead of being [bleep] all the time.

-Well...
-Okurrr.

I'm trying to be a nice human being
right now, but you're...

-[line busy tone]
-Oh.

You're really testing my limits
talking to me this way

and hanging up in my face.

But I would rather talk to myself
than talk to you.

[sighs]
Okay. It's okay. Don't... don't trip, Khlo.

Oh, my God.

[upbeat music]

-Hi. What are you doing?
-Hi. Did Kylie send you these doughnuts?

She didn't send them to me,
but she sent them to everyone else.

What? I can't eat this,
but how exciting is it to smell it?

[sniffs]

[exhales heavily]

[gasps]

What's your... Oh, no, no, no.

Look what I have.
I got to show you something. Okay?

Close your eyes. Close your eyes, I said.

Do you want one?

What do you see?
Donutty. Tell us if it's good.

[Kourtney] Um...

Dr. Byrnes reached out
and said he has the gluten results.

[Kim gasps]

-Do you want to go call?
-Yeah, let's call him.

[line ringing]

[phone key beeps]

[tense music]

-This is Dr. Byrnes.
-Hi, Dr. Byrnes. It's Kourtney.

Hi, Kourtney, how are you?

Kim is with me too. And I told her
that you had the results to our tests.

[Dr. Byrnes] Okay, so you and Kim...

Uh...

You want a drumroll?

You, guys, are both...

-clean.
-Ooh.

-Isn't that nice?
-So...

But this is only
what's measured in your blood.

So it's really looking at recent exposure.

So if you were eating
a whole bunch of fish,

and you started to build up mercury
in your blood,

it may show on a test like this.

It's not gonna show what's stored
inside your cells and your body.

This kind of test can't pick that up.

-[Kourtney] Okay. That's interesting.
-Yeah. So aluminum, arsenic and mercury.

You came out fine. So pretty good.

-Okay, thank you. Okay.
-You're welcome. Have a great day.

-Okay, thank you. Okay, bye.
-[Kim] Bye. You too.

I don't even understand
what that means, honestly.

The whole point of taking this test
was to see who's healthier.

One gluten-free and one not.

[Kim] We're both, like, fine.

I am so relieved that Kourtney
and I both are really healthy,

because we just try to eat really good,

but I feel, like, I don't really have
the answers yet

about her gluten-free lifestyle.

I just don't know what the best diet
for me and my family is.

Like, honestly, I can't eat,
like, just air.

It's not. Did you see my scones?

It's, like, so boring.

Mom, watch it.

That's so silly.

[both laughing]

[upbeat music]

[device beeping]

What are you doing?

Just...

Just what?

[Kris] Just tracking my mom.

-Tracking?
-Tracking.

[Kris] Oh, that little sneak.

-What does that mean?
-Look.

So I gave her these soles
to put in her shoes,

and I told her
they were really good arch support.

-And she needs to wear them all the time.
-Are they good arch support?

Absolutely not.

It's got a chip in it.

Look, it shows her going from my house.
Follow the shoe, follow the sole.

-[Kris] They're gonna track...
-You're psychotic.

I'm really smart, actually.

[tense music]

[clicks tongue]

It is wild that my mom
has put trackers in MJ's shoe soles.

Like, that's just invasive, and I think
that my mom should just let her be.

Like, she's good.
She's smarter than all of us.

She's getting a little too independent
over there,

and I want to make sure she's safe.

It's my 82... almost 83-year-old mother,
who I want to know where she is.

[Kourtney] Mom, you cannot, like,
worry about her like this.

She's the one who taught us all
how to be independent women.

She can still be an independent woman.
I can just make sure she's okay.

Let her live.

Mom, you cannot do this all day.
She's fine.

[upbeat music]

-[MJ] Hello?
-[Kris] Hey, Mom.

-Did you sleep last night?
-I did.

-In your new bed? Yeah?
-I did. Yes.

-How are you?
-[Kris] Give me a hug.

[loud smooch]

-You match your house. This is amazing.
-Well, yeah. I hated to leave.

Kourtney threatened me

that unless I tell MJ
that I'm tracking her,

that she's going to.

And I definitely want to tell MJ first

because Kourtney's delivery
is always a bit suspect.

[Kris] So...

Well, I have to... I have a confession.

-What?
-I put a tracker in your shoe.

[tense music]

-Why?
-So I can keep track of you.

-[chuckles]
-It's like my little mommy babysitter.

-You don't trust me?
-I trust you. I just worry about you.

And I want to make sure
I know where you are all the time.

-That's kinda weird.
-[Kris] Which is probably pretty silly.

-It is a little creepy, right?
-It's a little weird.

I am the last person
who wants to take away your freedom.

And I really want you to know
that I have a lot of respect for you

and for everything
that you've always done for me.

And I just want you to be happy and safe.

Well, you should feel a little creepy
about putting things in my shoe.

-[MJ] My God!
-[laughs]

I'm gonna go in the kitchen
and take these off.

-[MJ] No wonder I was limping around.
-[laughs]

[MJ chuckles]

[upbeat music]

[Jonathan] Do you know how to turn on
the air conditioning?

Kourtney literally
does not have one in here.

-[Jonathan] No, no, no.
-It's why I always sweat to death.

Please put on the air conditioning.
I'm begging you.

I don't even know.

-[Jonathan] You know.
-Look at this place.

-[Jonathan laughs]
-It's so interesting.

It is. It is,
but where's the air conditioning?

-It's not in this place.
-[Jonathan] At all?

-It's so interesting.
-[Jonathan] It's like a hut in here.

-Hi. It's so hot in here.
-It's a [bleep] oven. Help me.

I should bring some ice in here
and cover this place with ice.

[Jonathan chuckles]
That's a good idea.

So this scientist, Dr. Rhonda,
is gonna come and meet us,

and tell us all about, like, gluten-free
and how it affects our bodies and...

Do you want to hear about that?

[Kim] After all the back and forth
with Kourtney,

we decided to do the smart thing
and reach out to an expert on nutrition.

There's just so much conflicting info
out there that it's really hard to know

who to trust and what you should really
be eating.

-Hi.
-[Kourtney] Hi. How are you?

-I'm doing pretty good. How are you?
-Good. I'm Kourtney.

Nice to meet you.

[Kim] So I hope that she just,

you know, can help give us
all the information we need.

So I was reading
about an article that said

that gluten-free
can actually be more harmful for you.

And I feel like there's always fads,
there's always stuff going on.

-Uh, well, so...
-[Kourtney] Well, it can be right, right?

-Yeah, I mean, there's...
-Let's listen to the professional.

-No, because...
-I actually know the study

you were referring to.

And they found that people
that ate gluten-free diets

had, like, twice as much arsenic

and, like, 70 percent
more mercury in their blood.

But I was telling Kim,
just being gluten-free is not unhealthy.

It's like if you're gluten-free
and just eating a lot of processed foods,

which, gluten-free or not,
that's just not good, anyways.

Exactly. Gluten-free diets have become
such a fad that people are just buying

-all this, like, package, yeah.
-[Kourtney] Gluten-free.

And a lot of times what people do
is they'll substitute rice flour,

and rice bioaccumulates mercury
and arsenic.

In my mind, when I read this study,
what I started to think about was,

"What about all the people eating rice?
Like, in China or, you know, Japan."

-Yeah, for breakfast.
-Yeah, so this is kind of a field of study

I'm, like, obsessed with.
It's called nutrigenomics,

where, basically, like,
thousands of years ago,

people have come
from different parts of the world,

and you weren't really traveling
much then,

so, you kind of, like,
were beholden to the food

that you could grow in that region, right?

And the theory is,
that people have similar genes,

but we have different variations
in these genes.

So some people can process carbs better.
Some people can process fat better.

Some people can process lactose better
or gluten, like, things like that.

So, basically,
eat everything in moderation

-because we're [bleep] at some point.
-[Jonathan] You can't win either way.

But you sweat...
you could sweat this stuff out too.

You sweat mercury, arsenic,

-all these heavy metals out of...
-[Kim] Really?

-Yeah.
-[Kourtney] Like, with steam?

-Yeah, steam rooms, saunas, exercise.
-Sitting in this room.

Right. I think I just lost like 13...

-13 ounces of cadmium.
-I just turned the air on.

-I'm so sorry it's so hot in here.
-[chuckles]

But there is no benefit
to eating gluten for anybody, right?

The only benefit is that

most of the foods that gluten is found in
have a lot of fiber.

-[Kourtney] Okay.
-And so...

-the fiber is so damn important...
-Okay.

...but there are things you can do
to counter it.

Other food sources of fiber
include vegetables, fruits, seeds, nuts.

I'm gonna look into my fiber
and how much I'm getting.

[Rhonda]
Yeah, it really makes a difference.

From this experience, I've definitely
learned that it's just not that simple.

There isn't a perfect science,
and my lifestyle is working for me.

And Kourtney's lifestyle
is working for her.

[Kourtney] Are you gluten-free?

I try to eat a diet
that's mostly, like, whole foods.

Like, I try to avoid the processed foods
and the packaged foods and all that,

and so it sort of ends up
being mostly gluten-free.

So I'll eat, like, chicken.
I eat steak. I eat, um, salmon.

But I also, like, eat like a vegetarian

'cause I eat so many vegetables
and, like, a wide variety.

Oh, I wish I could do that.
I just, like, can't eat...

[Kourtney] All I'm eating right now
is vegetables, fruit and protein.

Aren't you starving?

-No.
-It's so hard for me.

-[Rhonda] Once you start doing it, though...
-Yeah, once you get used to it,

like, it takes... I would say it takes
two weeks to really get used to it.

[Jonathan] Cool. I'm starving.

-You are?
-Yeah.

[Kourtney] Um, do we have
any other questions?

No, just how fast can you get a pizza
over here?

[chuckles]

-Thank you so much for coming out.
-Thank you.

I'm having a ball. Thank you.

-[Khloé] What are we doing?
-We're winning.

Heaven.

-[Khloé] Hello?
-What are you doing here?

Well, I had to ambush you.

[tense music]

[Khloé] Why have you been avoiding me?

I mean, I've just been laying low.
You called me a disloyal person.

I'm just, like, over it because I'm not.

I feel super bad about it,
and I don't want to react that way to you.

But then I'm embarrassed, and, like,
it's disturbing how I respond to you.

And I just feel like it stems from years
and years of you not believing me.

And I get when I was 16, I used to,
like, exaggerate and tell stories,

but that was, like, when I was 16.

I have, like, I have come so far with you.
Like, I've been pretty, like...

When it comes to straight-up facts,

I've been pretty, like, loyal
and honest, whatever.

So I don't know, but it doesn't matter
if you believe me or not.

I need to know, like, it's my truth
and I'm... I am saying the truth,

so why do I get so annoyed with you?
And I don't know.

I don't know.
I don't even know why I don't...

believe you half the time.

Like, uh, you've never...

you haven't given me a reason
in so long to not believe you.

So I don't know why that's, like,
my thing with you.

But I... Honestly, just by you
saying that, that means so much

and, like, I appreciate that, like,
even just that you're acknowledging that.

That really means a lot.

And I'm just really sorry
for my short temper with you

and I'm working on it.

I'm trying to better myself and just...

You know, I shouldn't react that way.
So I love you and I'm sorry.

I love you too,
and I'm sorry if I doubted you.

I do get why Khloé gets so upset.

'Cause if someone didn't believe you
all the time,

that would be so frustrating.

I can be pretty critical,
especially with my sisters,

so I definitely want
to, like, try to reprogram,

try to figure out how to be more open
and accepting and just believing in her.

I say we both try
to make a conscious effort

to like, I won't go off on you like that,

and you just try to give me
the benefit of the doubt.

-[Kim] Okay. Deal.
-Sounds like a plan.

[Kim] On the next episode...

-You're going on a trip?
-To Egypt.

-With your kids?
-[Kourtney] No.

It is hard to balance being
in a relationship, work and my children.

This is your friend Pierre.
You guys are so cute.

-[Kris] I really have to pee.
-[laughing]

You are gonna be in so much trouble.
Get down.

There's no way Rob and Chyna
are gonna get back together.

The legal battle that has been going on
between the two of them is escalating.

What's going on? Oh, [bleep].