04x19 - Driving Miss Kyra

[bunniefuu]

Why are you staring at me?

I can't help it. You're so cute.

I remember when you
were three years old,

And you sat in
your little car seat,

And you'd play with your
little toy steering wheel,

And you'd go, "beep,
beep. Beep, beep."

Mom.

Come on. Do it for me. Just one
more time. "Beep, beep." Come on.

"Beep, beep." Come
on. "Beep, beep."

Beep, beep. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

[Engine starts]

Okay. Now, for
your test, remember.

Hands on the wheel
at 10:00 and 2:00.

[Singsong] feet on the
pedals, 7:00 and 4:00.

Just a little
driver's humor there.

That's good stuff, mom. thanks.

Seriously, my
test is in an hour.

I just wanna get a
little practice. Okay.

Crosswalk!

[Engine stops]

- Barbra jean,
are you nuts?
- Yes.

That's the point.

Kyra has got to be
prepared for anything.

It is crazy out
there on the road.

It's not very sane here
in the driveway either.

Okay, kyra. Let's take it
for a spin around the block.

Oh, no, no. Not yet.
Let's talk safety first.

Now, before pulling out,
always check your rear.

"Check your rear."

Hey, you guys back from
your practice drive already?

We haven't left yet.
By the time we actually

Get to my test, I'm
gonna be too old to drive.

Kyra, I'm just trying to prepare
you for real driving conditions.

"Get off the road, you idiot!"

"Learn how to drive, moron!"

Seriously, I hear
that all the time.

Van, do you have a flashlight
or a stun g*n I could hit her with?

No hitting in the car.

Yeah, no hitting in the
car. Stop hittin' my seat.

Oh, how do you like me
now, huh? all right. All right.

That's it. Everybody
out. Thank you.

Kyra doesn't need to
practice. Everybody knows...

You take a driving test
in a cool car, you pass.

- [door closes]
- thanks, van, for
letting me use your car.

- I know you two have
a special relationship.
- Well, not so much anymore.

Cars are a lot like women.
See, after a year or so, they...

Let's go take that test.

- Okay, I'm set.
- [engine starts]

Hit it!

♪♪ [radio: rock]

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

[High-pitched voice] look
at me. I'm kyra. I'm so cool.

Oh. Look at that.

It's a giant t. Rex in
the road. Watch out.

[Imitates crash]

[Screams]

Oh, but here comes jake on his
motorcycle to save his sister.

[imitates engine revving]

What? He's driving right by?

[imitates engine revving]

Oh. That's right.

She was always so mean to him.

Jake.

You wouldn't let your sister
get eaten by a dinosaur, would ya?

Do you know any?

Go upstairs and
play in your room.

Okay.

[Imitating reba's southern
accent] look at me. I'm mom.

I like bossin' people around.

Is kyra back yet? Did
she get her license?

I know. She better hurry up and get
it soon. I only have one fingernail left.

[Chuckles]

Ah, it just feels so weird,
kyra gettin' her driver's license.

It was like yesterday...

That I was teaching
her how to ride a bike.

She'd ring that little bell.
"Bring, bring. Bring, bring."

"Beep, beep."

- "Bring, bring. Bring, bring."
- "Beep, beep."

Hey. Maybe we'll get
lucky and she'll flunk.

Oh, she's not gonna flunk. I told
her how to dress for the test.

You know. Shirt down to here.

Skirt up to here.

I'd never even driven a
car before I took my test.

I have a license to drive a car,

A motorcycle and an 18-wheeler.

Oh, yeah.

And yet she's always here.

Ooh. Well?

Bad news.

Oh. Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Your insurance
rates are goin' up.

[Squeals] yeah!

And listen. Don't even
worry about the insurance.

Yeah. I got a pretty strong
feeling that the first person...

Who walks in my office tomorrow
is gonna need a root canal.

Again?

That's how I got my
engagement ring. That's right.

Congratulations,
sweetie. What's going on?

Kyra got her license.
Oh! Congratulations, kyra.

I remember when I got
my license. I felt so free.

It was like a passport to drive.

[van] yeah.

I just hope your
picture turns out good.

When I got my license, my
face looked like this. Yeah.

Now every time I get pulled
over, that's the face I have to make.

You are so lucky, kyra.

The three months between when I
got my license and when I got pregnant...

Were, like, the best, most
freest times of my life.

But I don't miss it. I mean, more than
three months would have been way too much.

Okay. Now that you've
got your license, we

Have a few rules we
need to go over with ya.

Yeah. I don't need rules.

Cheyenne drives, and she
doesn't have a bunch of rules.

She's a wife and a mother. She's
not gonna do anything crazy.

Exactly. Between school and home,
she's practically a prisoner. Huh?

A bird in a gilded cage.

Have fun at school, honey.

Yeah.

Caged bird.

Oh, god.

Okay. First of all,
no friends in the car,

and you have to tell
us where you're goin'.

Mm-hmm. You can drive to
school, to the library and home.

What about mexico?

"Bring, bring."

"Beep, beep."

Look, honey. I know it
sounds a little strict,

But... Maybe this
will make up for it.

Cool. A picture phone.

And my picture is
your screen saver.

Your picture's my
screen saver too.

Okay. Use it only
for emergencies.

Okay? Okay. I've got my emergency
phone, and I know the rules.

So, can I have the keys to
go to the library? Oh, yeah.

Hey. That's a great
idea. I'll drive.

Brock, let her go.

We gotta learn to trust her
sometime. Here, honey. Thanks.

Have fun. Buckle up,
lock the door, and, uh...

[Chuckles] check your rear.

Love you. Love you too.

And keep that phone
on ya at all times.

Trust her? What
is wrong with you?

Come on, barbra jean.
Let's trail her in my car.

[door closes] wow, mrs.
H. That is so cool of you.

I wish more parents trusted
their children. [chuckles]

There's a tracking
device on her phone.

What?

She's 16 and mobile. I mean,
this way, even if she doesn't call,

I can go online and
find out where she is.

That's not the mrs. H I know.

It's a changing world,
van, and I'm changin' with it.

Oh. By the way, they had a
special on it, so I got you one too.

Cool.

Why do they always
turn out that way?

What are you doin'?

I'm trying to see how delicate
this g.p.s. Tracking thing is.

I typed in my phone number, and the
satellite is showing our neighborhood.

Hey. Take my phone and
run down the block, will ya?

- Oh, you run down the block,
and I'll meet ya there.
- Got ya.

Yeah.

oh, reba. Thank
goodness you're here.

It's amazing how two people can feel
so differently about the same thing.

Kyra's late.

She was supposed to be home
at 9:00, and it's four minutes after.

You know, I tried calling
her, but she won't pick up.

Oh, my gosh, barbra jean. Do
you know what that means? No.

She has caller i.d.

- It's all right. I trust kyra.
- How quaint.

Reba, take it from somebody whose
parents trusted her. Don't trust her.

I have a great
relationship with kyra.

And that relationship
is based on respect.

- Like ours?
- Right.

Now get out of here.

You want me to go,
I'll go, but if she's not

Home in five minutes,
I'm callin' the police.

Don't touch the computer!

I tied my phone to a dog.

I gotta type in kyra's phone
number. I need to track her.

Aha! [Screams]

aha.

So that's why you were
acting so calm, hmm?

A tracking device. Genius.

No! The dog's headed to a river.

The phone's not waterproof!

Okay. Okay.

[door closes] okay. I just
take the coordinates.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I type 'em
into the map, and we find out...

Look. Here she is. Okay.



Reba, that is downtown.
Okay. All right. Let's not panic.

Okay. We go into
the yellow pages.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Type in the address.

And we find that kyra is perfectly
safe at... Corkie's martini lounge.

I don't get it. What's
kyra doin' in a bar?

Well, if she's anything
like me, she's... She's not.

Okay. All right.

I mean, what I don't understand is,
how can a 16-year-old girl get into a bar?

Oh, reba. There are
a thousand ways.

I used to crawl in through
the men's room window.

Barbra jean... And if you're
not sensitive to the cold,

You can hide in the
beer delivery truck.

I'm also licensed to
drive one of those. Okay.

Barbra jean, that's enough.
Okay. All right. I know.

And I mean for your
entire lifetime. Okay. Okay.

- Now let's get down there.
- Hey, mom.

Oh, hi, kyra. Oh, gosh. Kyra.
Kyra, where have you been?

The library. Yeah, right.

More like the "liar-brary."

Don't call my daughter a liar.

Unless, of course,
you are lying.

And if you are, young lady, you'd
better tell me the truth right now.

Okay. You got me. Okay.

On the way home, I drove
the car into the grand canyon.

Thelma didn't make it.

Very funny. And why didn't
you answer your phone?

Because I traded phones.
You traded your phone?

Kyra, I bought that phone
for a specific reason.

You mean the tracking device?

Tracking device?

Can you believe
her? [Scoffing] oh, yeah.

Mom, you're not the first
parent to try and pull that one.

I just thought you
were better than that.

I think we all were
a little disappointed.

Oh, shut up. You need
to get that phone back.

And I don't like this
person you traded with.

I don't really
either. It's cheyenne.

What is cheyenne doin' in a bar?

Cheyenne's not at a bar. She
has biology lab on tuesday night.

Reba, take it from someone
whose parents trusted her.

There is no such
thing as a biology lab.

[Sighs] well, that
doorman was very polite.

Yeah, except you were
"honey," and I was "ma'am."

Hey. This is a karaoke bar.

Oh, my gosh, reba. Let's
sing. Oh, my gosh. Let's not.

I don't think cheyenne
would come to a karaoke bar.

That g.p.s. Thingy
was a rip-off.

Okay. Everybody having
a good time tonight?

[Screams] shh!

[Mouths words]

Well, keep enjoying
yourselves, ladies and gentlemen,

But remember one thing.

There's got to be
a morning after.

♪♪ [Piano]

[Off-key] ♪ there's got
to be a morning after ♪

♪ if we can hold
on to the night ♪

♪ There's a chance
to find sunshine ♪

♪ If we keep on
lookin' for the light ♪

You think that used to
be a song? Oh, my gosh.

No wonder elizabeth used to
cry every time she sang to her.

♪ If you keep on
lookin' for the light ♪

Oh, boy. I don't understand it.

Why didn't she just tell us
she was singin'? Would you?

Okay. ♪ keep on lookin' ♪

♪ For the light ♪♪

thank you. [Applause]

[Giggles] thank you. Thank you.

Good night.

Oh, no. Oh, no. She's seen us.

This could be awkward.
Quick. Start a bar fight.

Mom, barbra jean.

Oh! Cheyenne.

What are you lookin'
at, blondie? Huh?

[Whispers] stop it.

What are you guys doing here?

We thought it'd be a
fun place to meet all our

Friends, you know,
here at the biology lab.

Okay, fine. I... I didn't
go to the biology lab,

But I didn't want anyone
to know I was here.

Gee, I wonder why.

I mean, man, that chick
definitely wants a piece of me.

Yeah, bring it.

Cheyenne. Honey,
what's goin' on? Nothing.

I just paid eight bucks to
park, four bucks to get in here.

Now, I think you owe me about


Okay.

Mom, when did you first realize that
you were old and your life was over?

I hadn't, but thanks
for the update.

Oh. Sorry.

Every day, I wake up, and I know
exactly what my day is gonna be like.

And the next one and
the one after that.

Some people look
at that as security.

Yeah. Some people
look at that as a rut.

I mean, mom, look at all these
people around here, okay?

They're about my age,
and they're not wives

And moms. They're j...
They're just people.

You know, don't get me wrong. I
love being a wife and a mom. It's just...

I don't know. You
probably think I'm so weird.

Honey, no, I don't.

Everybody feels like
that from time to time.

"Who am i?" "Why am I here?"

"Why didn't I lock the door when
barbra jean was walking up the driveway?"

Have you talked
to van about this?

No. This is something that I'm
sure he wouldn't understand.

Van's always known who
he is. He's a football player.

Cheyenne, van doesn't
play football anymore.

He's a guy that wakes up every morning
not knowing what his day's gonna be like.

He probably feels
like he's in a rut too.

We just had to grow
up so fast. I know.

You know what? You... You're smart
for wanting to keep an eye on kyra.

Well, I needed a hobby.

Now that I'm old
and my life is over.

[Chuckles]

Cheyenne, you realize that you can't
keep coming down here by yourself.

Yeah. But I was
getting really good.

Hey. Are you guys
done talkin'? Yeah.

Barbra jean, you ready to
go? Yeah. After this. Hit it!

♪♪ [Pop]

♪ Workin' nine to five ♪

♪ What a way to make a ♪
♪ livin' ♪

♪ Barely gettin' by ♪

♪ It's all taking and no ♪
♪ givin' ♪

♪ They just use your mind ♪

♪ And they never
give you credit ♪

♪ It's enough to drive you ♪

♪ Crazy if you let it ♪

♪ Nine to five ♪

♪ What a way to make a ♪
♪ livin' ♪

♪ Barely gettin' by ♪

- ♪ it's all takin' and no ♪
- ♪ givin' ♪

♪ They just use your mind ♪

♪ And they never
give you credit ♪

♪ It's enough to drive you ♪
yeah!

♪ Crazy if you let it ♪

♪ Nine to five ♪
[crowd cheering]

♪ What a way to make a living ♪♪

- Hey.
- Hey, sweetie. How was school?

Oh, it was swell. Yeah,
just like yesterday.

And hey. Good news. Tomorrow
I need to do it all over again.

I gotta go bathe elizabeth.

Ah. Bathed, read to
and already asleep.

Oh, thanks, mom.

You're welcome. Go have fun.

[Chuckles]

welcome to d.j.
Van's karaoke palace.

Looks like we got a live one
walking on the stage here.

- Oh, no. Did mom tell you?
- Yeah.

- Are you mad at me?
- I was at first,

But then I got one of these,

And now I get it.

Look. Van, the reason that...

No. I know why
you did it, cheyenne.

I just wish you would've told
me what you were going through.

You've been there for me,
and I'll always be there for you.

You're so sweet.

and from now on,
we sing together.

Oh. [Giggles]

♪♪ [Piano] oh! [Giggles]

♪ There's got to
be a morning after ♪

♪ if we hold on to the night ♪

Cheyenne.

You are really good.

♪ If you keep on
lookin' for the light ♪

♪ There's got to
be a morning after ♪

♪ if we hold on to the night ♪♪

[Howls]

acme! [Coughing]