03x15 - Brock's Mulligan

[bunniefuu]

Hey. Hey.

Let's go, van. We
got an 8:30 tee time.

Oh, dad, this is so cool that
you're taking him golfing.

Van is totally psyched. He's been up
half the night practicing yelling "fore."

Cheyenne, honey. If your
husband's going to be a golfer...

Mm-hmm. You'll have to learn
to listen to golf stories.

Oh. Yeah. I find it's helpful to
keep a thumbtack in your hand...

And squeeze it
every few minutes.

Hey. I don't know if I mentioned it, but I
placed second in the club championship.

The pivotal moment... It was...

Hang on. Let me get a thumbtack.

Fore! Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[cheyenne] oh.

Come on, van. We're
going to play golf.

Not... Miniature golf.

Hey, what you up to?

Well, I'm goin' golfing
here with mr. H. Yeah.

Oh. I gotta get a
boom box for the cart.

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

You're goin' to brock's stuffy
old country club lookin' like that?

[Laughs]

[Imitates laugh] no, he's not.

Cheyenne, go lay out some
big-boy clothes for van.

Hey. I'm tryin' to create a new
image now that I'm playing arena ball.

Oh, tell them about the photo
sh**t. There's this photo sh**t.

Van and I are gettin' our
pictures taken. At a photo sh**t.

It's for the team program.
I really want a unique look.

Yeah. I call it...

"Van-tastic." Oh.

I really want to look hot.

I call it... "Lookin' hot." Oh.

[Imitating sizzle]

Oh, okay.

Hey. I'm really glad
you guys are here.

Whoa. You've never
said that before.

My palms are sweaty.

Kyra and I had a great conversation
last night when she slept over.

She told me about some of the
colleges that she's considering.

College? mm-hmm.

- Man, where does the time go?
- More importantly,

Where did it come from?

thank goodness we started that
college fund when she was little.

- I went online and checked that.
- Yeah? How'd it do
during the bear market?

Well, let's just say that
yogi got the "pic-a-nic" basket.

[Laughs]

We need to put some
cash back in that fund.

Now, I'm makin' some cuts around here, and
I was hopin' you'd be willing to help out.

Yeah. You bet. We'll
make some cuts too.

We can start shopping
at the bulk store. Mmm.

And doin' our own auto repair.

Yeah. We can save millions
refining our own oil.

I think we need to
find some bigger cash.

So, think about it, and we'll talk
about it again in a couple of days.

All right. Ready to go. Finally.

Oh. And I got us a caddy.

Hope you like snoop dogg, dad.

[reba] ha, hey!

♪ my roots are
planted in the past ♪

♪ though my life
is changing fast ♪

♪ who I am is who I want to be ♪

♪ a single mom who
works too hard ♪

♪ who loves her
kids and never stops ♪

♪ with gentle hands ♪

♪ and the heart of a fighter ♪

♪ I'm a survivor ♪♪

Hey. Is brock home? Oh,
he had a business meeting.

Would you like some
soda from the bulk store?

I'm not really sure
what flavor it is.

Yeah. I went shopping
down there too.

Say, if you ever need any
peaches... And I mean ever...

Just let me know.

Thanks. Hey. Do you
need your oil changed?

Nah. I'm good. Okay.

Actually, I came down
here to talk about money.

This nickel-and-dime stuff isn't gonna
do the trick for the college fund.

but I've come up with a way
of makin' some big-time cash.

Brock should sell his
country club membership.

You can sell a membership?

- It has to be
your membership, right?
- Yeah. That's the catch.

Look. Brock's had this
membership for 15 years,

Which means he could
make a nifty little profit.

Oh. Yeah, but leavin' the club...
That would be a huge deal for brock.

- He loves golf.
- Yeah. He does.

Anybody who's seen his "naked
lady" golf tees knows that.

Okay. So here's the deal.

You sell the membership, put some
money into kyra's college fund...

And still have a decent
amount of money left over.

Oh. You, my tangy, redheaded
neighbor, are a genius.

Yeah. You know, and I know...

Exactly what I would do with a
little extra do-re-mi. What's that?

Put in a pool. A pool?

Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And then,

I'd get one of those
hilarious signs...

That says "welcome to our 'ool.'

"You'll notice
there's no 'p' in it.

Please keep it that way."

Wouldn't that be a hoot?

I think brock would
really like a pool.

And it would be somethin' that
we could do together as a family.

A pool might be just the thing.

When he gets home, I'll tell him that
you want to talk to him about something.

Or you could
talk to him about it.

Oh. Reba, this
is a big decision.

It only seems right it be
between a man and his ex-wife.

- [Groans]
- [thud]

- Hey, reba. Barbra jean said
you wanted to talk to me.
- Yeah.

[van] presenting the arena
football league's new power couple,

van and cheyenne montgomery.

Yo, sinatra. Sammy and dino
are waitin' out in the limo.

Wow. Check it out.
You guys look great.

Yeah. Ah! I am so excited
about this photo sh**t.

We're gonna be in the team's
program. People save those things.

We're gonna be immortal.

Oh, I gotta see this.
What time are they comin'?

We're gonna do it over at
the arena. Not here. Yeah.

I don't want it to look like I
live with my mother-in-law.

You do live with your
mother-in-law. Yeah.

But I don't want
it to look like it.

I mean, we are... We're totally grateful
for the sacrifices you've made, mrs. H.

thanks. Oh, hey. Check this out. What do
you think for our pose for the picture?

Oh, yeah.

You look so... French.

Oh! oui, oui, baby. Yeah!

Croissant! Croissant!
Oh, yeah. Bye, you guys.

French.

[cheyenne] let's go, van.

Oh, boy. oh.

Is there anything like the
excitement of just starting out in life?

- No.
- You got nothin'
but your dreams.

- Yeah.
- Problem is,
when you're young,

You don't realize that your dreams are
the most valuable thing you'll ever have.

Have you been listening to your
peter, paul & mary albums again?

Sit down, brock. I
want to talk to you.

I want to talk to you
too. You know, it's funny,

'Cause it kind of relates
to what van said just now...

About all the things
that you gave up for them.

That was very
inspirational. Really?

Because giving something
up is very inspirational.

And maybe you can have the
opportunity to be inspirational too.

Real soon.

You know, I've been thinking
about that a lot lately.

I mean, am I just saying stuff to
the kids, or am I actually living it?

Ah, the old talkin' the talk
versus walkin' the walk.

Every parent's
nightmare. Exactly.

You can talk till you're
blue in the face about

What it takes to make
your dreams come true,

But unless they see that you're willing
to sacrifice, it doesn't mean a thing.

I agree with ya. Bet you haven't
heard me say that in a while.

So, to recap,

What we're both agreeing on here is that
giving up something is very inspirational.

Definitely.

Oh, man. I don't know what
the heck made me think of this,

But I have just the
suggestion to help you do that.

I don't need a suggestion. I already
have a way. I just haven't told anyone yet.

Well, tell me. 'Cause I'm
gonna laugh my head off,

It's the same thing
I was thinking of.

Are you plannin' on
givin' up the country club?

What? No. No?

That'd be crazy. No?

I'm gonna quit my job.

You're gonna quit
your job? Yes, ma'am.

Brock, you work for yourself.

Is it because your
boss is a jerk?

I'm gonna sell that office.

It's time to get back
in the dream business.

But I thought your dream
was to be a successful dentist.

No. No. It was to be successful.

I picked dentistry because I thought
I could do well at it, and I have.

Okay. Wait a minute. So
far, it all sounds sane.

But where exactly does the train
of thought go flyin' off the tracks?

Wait. I-is this because we were tryin'
to find money for kyra's college fund?

No. No. That's not the reason, although
it will mean that there's money for that.

No. You know, I've been
thinking about this for a while.

I want to live my
life in a way that

Inspires our kids to
follow their own dreams.

So you think quitting
is inspirational?

Well, you haven't heard what
I'm gonna do instead of dentistry.

What? Make cuckoo clocks?

You ready?

I doubt it, but go on.

I am gonna play
professional golf.

Golf? Yes.

On the hooters tour. Oh!

Well, why didn't
you just say that?

I... What the heck's
wrong with you?

The hooters tour?
Yeah. It's an actual tour.

There are a lot of them. It's
like the minor leagues of golf.

I'm gonna sell the practice and use the
money as a nest egg while I work my way up.

then, in a few years, I'm
gonna get my pga card,

and I'm gonna sh**t
for the senior tour.

Uh... Is this some
kind of midlife crisis?

Because you dumping me for the blonde
was supposed to be your midlife crisis.

You only get one!

Van and cheyenne just walked out of
here with the life bursting out of them...

Because they're trying
to follow their dreams.

I want that. This is your dream?

Brock, we were
married for 20 years.

I never heard you say anything
about playing professional golf.

I thought about it a lot.

Well, if thinking about it is
all it takes to make it happen,

Kris kristofferson should
be walkin' in here any second!

Reba, with all due respect, I'm
not askin' for your permission.

Okay. All right. Brock,
just the other night...

We were sittin' here
trying to find ways to

Come up with some money
for kyra's college fund.

Remember? Yeah. Now we found it.

What if you and barbra jean
decide to have more children?

Reba, hale irwin made three million
dollars last year on the senior tour.

Well, then be his caddy and hope
that money falls out of his pocket!

What's really goin' on here?

You know what a mulligan is?
The booze you've been drinkin'?

No. No. It's when you
hit a second shot on the

Golf course because
your first one went bad.

It's a chance to
correct a mistake.

This is my mulligan, reba.

But what if the second
shot's worse than the first?

What if it hits a tree
and... And ricochets off...

And smashes you in the head,
or has that already happened?

It's not gonna be worse, okay?

I'll talk to you later. I'm
gonna go hit some golf ba*ls.

[Sighs]

Where is kris kristofferson?

Ninety-eight... Barbra jean.



Okay, henry. Ready
or not, here I come!

Well, that should give me
about 20 minutes. What's up?

Okay. I talked to brock.

Oh, my gosh. I'm
getting my "ool."

He just got
through telling me...

That he's gonna quit his job, sell
his practice and play golf for a living.

Yeah. He started telling me these
stories about hooters or mulligans.

At first I thought he was kidding.
Then I remembered, he's not funny.

- Well, I think
that is a wonderful idea.
- I know.

Mm-hmm. But I thought if the
two of us could get... You what?

Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I think that brock will be
very successful doing that.

Do you guys have a
gas leak in this house?

How can you support this?
Because that's what I do, reba.

My role is the supportive wife.

I'm not the one he talks
to about stuff. No. You are.

I'm the one who gets told how it's gonna be
after the decision has already been made!

Oh... [Scoffs] that
doesn't happen.

It just did!

Okay. It does.

Put your role
aside for a second.

Do you honestly think
this is a good idea?

I think that...

My husband deserves the
right to run his own life.

Barbra jean, you run things.

You're the one that wears
the clown pants in the family.

Well, sure. When it comes to
tellin' brock how to cook the steaks,

But not about somethin' like
this, not about his happiness.

Oh, I see.

Just not the important
things. And why is that?

Just because. Because why?

Because because.
Barbra jean, why?

Because maybe I've
seen what happens...

When he thinks his wife
isn't supportive enough.

Somethin' has been
bothering brock lately,

And the one thing that I was really
scared of, reba, was that it was me.

I can handle it
being anything else.

Even some boneheaded
scheme that scares me to death.

Well, if it scares
you, tell him.

[Scoffs] if you don't
tell him how you feel...

If you just pretend it's okay, then
you've got a dishonest marriage.

Reba, you and brock have
a very honest relationship.

But you don't have a marriage.

And I don't intend to be the
next former mrs. Brock hart.

It ain't as bad as it sounds.

Hello.

Anybody home?

Oh, van. Your house is gorgeous.

Well, just a place I
like to hang my hat.

Hello! I am glad I
made you show it to me.

If I owned a home so beautiful,
I'd want to show it off.

Van, we should go. It's
cool. She's not even here.

- Who?
- Who?

Uh... Uh... Uh, nobody.

Well, actually, our maid.

oh. reba.

But we... We don't like
to call her the maid.

No. No, no. She's, uh... She's been with
us so long, she's like part of the family.

Oh, okay. Let's get the happy
homeowners in a picture.

Okay. All right? You two, uh,
stand by the staircase there.

Okay. [Together] ah!

[Laughs] hey.

Oh, you must be from
the team. I'm reba.

oh. Hi. I'm mary joe.
It's so nice to meet you.

Thank you.

Van and cheyenne have been
saying some lovely things about you.

- Ah, they're so sweet.
- they are.

- You're very lucky.
- Ah. Blessed.

We should go. Yeah.

- Hold on. Let me get some
pictures of you with the maid.
- [Laughing]

Ah. Are you thirsty? How
about some lemonade? Yeah.

Oh, great. Oh, reba.
Grab your apron.

What's that?

You know... [Stamps foot]

You know, I'll make lemonade.
I'll go find some lemons.

[cheyenne] okay.

So, tell us, reba. What's it like
working for these two, huh?

Okay. Look. This is awkward.

No, no, no, no. I'll tell
you what's awkward.

Before I got this job, I used
to live with my mother-in-law.

You talk about
embarrassing. [Chuckles]

Oh. Yeah. This is great stuff.

Oh, yeah. But now, workin'
for miss cheyenne and mr. Van,

Why, it's just like caring
for my own children.

they treat me right proper.

And when I have to
take some time off,

Like today I have to go down to
deal with my kooky ex-husband...

uh-huh. it's never a problem.

Even though it means my bosses
will have to do all my work.

Is that true?

It is today.

And it's a lot of work.

They'll have to do
the laundry... mm-hmm.

Cook dinner,

Wash dishes, clean the kitchen.

And they'll never
make a single complaint.

Not a peep.

I don't know what I do
to deserve these two.

I tell you, mary
joe. I'm not lucky.

I'm blessed.

Oh, this is so embarrassing.
You're here for my birthday present.

No. I'm gonna buy you some marbles,
seein' how you lost all of yours.

I know what you're
gonna say, reba.

Oh, you do? Well, great.
Why don't you tell me?

'Cause honestly, I
don't know what to say.

This is so weird, I don't
even know where to begin.

No. It's not weird.
What's weird is continuing

To do something that
makes you miserable.

Oh, everybody does that. Heck, I talked
to barbra jean three times this week.

You know, I truly believe that I
can compete on the senior tour.

Well, I got a
suggestion for you.

Why don't you keep workin' on
your game, keep your job and...

Do all of this when you retire?

- I'd be too old.
- For the senior tour?

Look, brock. I'm not askin'
you this because of the kids.

But worrying about somebody
after 20 years is a hard habit to break.

Come on now. I've asked you this
before, and I'm gonna ask you again.

What's really goin' on?

Brock. I'm not happy.

Okay.

I haven't been
happy for a while.

I thought it would be
better after the divorce.

And then I thought it'd be better
after barbra jean and I got married,

Or after henry was born
or after kyra moved in.

I-it's just like my life has
become waiting for this thing...

That's supposed to
make me feel good again.

Something like a pool?

Hey. This just happens
from time to time to people.

I guess it's how we
know we're still alive.

Have you talked to
anybody about this?

You know, I actually
talked to a shrink.

Really? Yeah. I met him in a bar.
He was pretty loaded though.

Brock, I'm serious.

[Sighs]

You need to do some serious
talking and some serious thinking...

Before you make
a decision this big.

Tell you what.

If I make this putt,
I'm quittin' my job.

[Whispers] oh, lord.

That was in.

Brock, this is not a game.

I met with a broker.
I'm selling the practice.

acme! [Coughing]