03x13 - Art Breaker

[bunniefuu]

Oh, she's here! Everybody,
you know the drill.

Good morning, my artistes.

Good morning, Ms. Petuto!

All righty, class,

the assignment was to create
an art project with a message.

I can't wait to see
how you've done.

Ooh, Chelse, come on, let's
get this garbage off the table.

You gotta show your
project. Come on.

Uhh, girl, someone glued
your garbage together.

Yeah, Rae, I did.

It's my project.

Really?

Yeah, the message
is about how our world

has become a giant dump
for our consumer culture, see?

Do you like it?

Uh, yeah, I love it!

Rae... every time you
lie, your voice gets all high.

That is not true!

All right, people, dazzle me.

I did a self-portrait,
Ms. Petuto.

I call it black velvet
on black velvet.

And the message is...

I look good on velvet.

Ok, ok. Moving along...

Raven, I see you've
done a collage of shoes...

Again.

Ha ha! Now, now, Ms. Petuto,

last time, remember,
it was flip-flops, ok?

Now, this is totally different.

It's strap-ees.

Strap-ees?!

I know, I know!

People! Come on!

Where's the art that
makes me think?!

Where's the art
that makes me feel?!

Where's the art that...

Makes me worry that our planet
has become a giant dump heap

for our consumer culture?

Where have I heard that before?

You just said it.

Oh, right.

My art project.

Oh... oh, Chelse... I love this.

Thank you.

You're a true artist.

Ohh, really, Ms. Petuto?

No one's ever said
that to me before.

This is amazing.

In fact, there's a student
art show coming up,

and if you create a new piece,

I would love to submit it.

Thank you, Ms. Petuto.

Good work.

Oh, congratulations, Chelse!

Yeah, we didn't know
art was your thing, girl.

Oh, yeah, I have always
wanted to be an artist.

Really?

Yeah, I was just... I
don't know, you guys,

I was always afraid
to express myself.

Hey, Chelse, if you want to
become an artist, girl, don't hold back.

Let it out.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm an artist!

Ok, maybe... maybe you
need to bring that back in.

♪ If you could gaze
into the future ♪

♪ future, future ♪

♪ you might think life
would be a breeze ♪

♪ life is a breeze ♪

♪ seeing trouble
from a distance ♪

♪ yeah ♪ go, ray!

♪ But it's not that easy ♪
♪ oh, no ♪

♪ I try to save the situation ♪

♪ then I end up misbehavin' ♪

♪ ohh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ hey, now, say now ♪

♪ 'bout to put it down, yeah ♪

♪ come on and ride
with the break now ♪

♪ and the future
looks great now ♪

♪ and everything's
gonna change now ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious to me ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious
to me, yeah ♪

yep, that's me.

Ooh, Chelse startin'
her art project!

Ok, let me guess, let
me guess what it is.

Ok, got it.

It is the chaos and confusion...

in the world, right?!

Rae, I'm just
cleaning my brushes.

Gotta love ya, Chelse.

Actually, Rae, I'm
a nervous wreck.

I can't think of anything
to do for the art show.

Oh, stop trippin', girl. You
are so creative and talented.

I'm sure something will hit ya,

and it's probably
right under your nose.

Really?

Not literally, Chelse.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh!

Rae, the way the
light's hitting you now.

Wait, don't move.

Wait, why can't I
move, now? Don't...

Because, Rae... Huh, what?

You're my inspiration.

Will you be my model?

A model? You mean
like in a painting?

Better... better...

A sculpture.

A sculpture? Yes!

Now, wait, like a statue? Yeah.

You can make me as the thinker.

Ok, maybe that's not a good one.

Venus de Milo.

Not so much? Ok, let me think.

Got it, got it,
Venus de Williams.

You know what, Rae?

Actually, you should
just be yourself.

Ok, ok. I can do
that. Ready, ready.

Ok, now, you're somewhere
in this lump of Clay.

I just have to take
away the parts

that, you know, aren't you.

Ok, um... All right,
that's not you...

That's not you...
What the heck is that?

All right, that's
not you... Hmm...

That is you.

Hi, honey.

How was school?

Boy, did I need that. Whoo!

Rough day?

The worst ever!

They wanted to
cut down our sugar,

so they took out all
the soda machines.

Why don't they ban
useless stuff, like homework?

Not before dinner.

I don't know where you picked
up these bad eating habits.

I forgot the hot fudge.

Ok, I'm starting to get a clue.

Mmm! Cookies!

No more cookies,
no more ice cream.

Why not?!

Because they banned
sodas at Corey's school today,

and I think we should
follow their example.

From now on, this
family is cutting out sugar.

What?! What?!

Corey, your mom's right.

We should all make a
commitment to eating healthier.

Now, I'm gonna throw this out.

Victor!

Ohh...

No... no, dad, dad,

think about what you're doing.

Mom, this is a bad thing.

Oh, honey, this is a good thing.

Just think, you'll feel better,
and you'll save money.

Money?

Yes. Think of how
much you kids spend

buying sodas at school.

Yeah. Yeah...
That's a lot of cash.

Mmm! Your soda
formula is delicious!

William, you are a genius!

No, selling it in milk
cartons to kids at school,

you're the genius.

Heh, can't argue with that.

Man, we're gonna make a fortune.

But what if we get in trouble?

William, relax.

We've got nothing to hide.

Corey?

Quick! Hide everything!

And the big, bad wolf said,

"I will huff and
I will puff and..."

Oh, hey, mom.

"And I will blow
your house down."

What are you guys doing?

Oh, nothing, just
reading William a story.

Is something bubbling?

Oh.

That's William's stomach.

You see, these stories
make him nervous.

Sweetheart, they
lived happily ever after.

That's what they
want you to think.

Ok, ok. I'll see you
guys later, then.

See you later, mom.

I love you. You, too.

Ok, let's get back to work.

Drum roll, please.

Ladies and... Eddie...

My masterpiece.

- Ohh...
- Wait, wait, wait.

Whoa, yo, Chelse,
this is tight, yo.

It's called Raven
in Clay and feathers.

Wow, well, it does
kind of look like Rae.

Except for the giant
beak and feathers.

Well, it's Raven as
an actual Raven, see?

Rae, what do you think of it?

I mean, honestly?

I think it's tight!

Wait a minute.

That's your lying voice.

No, it's not!

You hate it.

No, I never said that.

Come on, Rae, your
squeak said it all.

No, the squeak happened because
you made me a freak with a beak.

So that's what you
really think of my art?

Is this what you
think of my face?

Man, Rae, I cannot
believe I let you inspire me.

A beak?

She gave me a beak!

Am I in the wrong?

Oh, snap! What did you see?!

Ok, well, first... ohh!

Pretty much that.

Not good.

Man, when Chelsea sees
this, she is gonna lose it, Rae.

And she knows
that I hate her statue.

She's gonna think that
I broke it on purpose.

We gotta put this back together.

What do you mean "we"? Hey!

I just realized something.

Oh, my goodness, here she comes!

I should stay. Raven
should leave. Where is she?

I'm sure she's
somewhere holding still.

And why is my statue covered?

Uh, uh, Chelse,

see, the thing about
that is it's bad luck

for an artist to see
their work before a show.

Ohh, really? Thanks, Eddie.

I mean, this is my moment, ok?

Everything has to
fall right into place.

I'm sure it already has.

Anyway, I better get this
thing on over to the gallery.

Hey, Chelse, you
can't do that, either.

Why not?

Because it's also bad luck

for an artist to take their
own work to a gallery,

so I'll bring it over for you.

Oh, thanks, Eddie.

Man, I cannot keep up
with these art superstitions.

Oh, my goodness.

Eddie, when Chelsea
steps into that gallery,

there has got to
be a statue there.

I gotta put this back together.

Forget it, Rae. There is no way.

Hello? I could use some
positivity right now, ok?

Ok, well, I am positive
that there is no way.

Ahem.

Can I help you?

Word in the hall is
you got the fizzy milk.

I might.

You got something for me?

Now you speakin' my language.

What kinda milk you want?

Grape or red?

Uh, you got root beer?

He said, "grape
or red," didn't he?

Ok, ok, ok.

Um, i-I'll take red.

Thanks.

Wait.

Before you go...

Wear one of these.

Milk mustache.

You guys thought of everything.

Yes, we did.

Now walk away.

Hello?

No, I'm sorry, Corey's
not here right now.

Uh, yeah, I can give
him the message.

Uh, Corey?

Just got a message from
some kid named "sweet tooth,"

and he said he wanted to
come by and pick up a quart.

Quart of what?

I don't know what
he's talking about,

but, um, i-if he calls back,

tell him if I did have a quart,

he'd find it on the back porch,

and I'd find 5
bucks under the mat.

Oh, he is definitely
up to something.

Oh, my gosh, man.

I can't believe Rae
actually put it back together.

It looks great!

Thank you. Hey!

What are you
doin' in there, girl?

Well, I couldn't put
the statue back together

and it is called Raven
in Clay and feathers,

so I just put on some
Clay and feathers.

Wow. How did you get down here?

I flew.

How do you think
I got down here?

I rode the bus.

Oh, and by the way,

um, I was not the
only statue on that bus.

This is a very, very weird city.

Oh! It's Ms. Petuto.
Act natural.

Eddie... Hey, Ms. Petuto.

That was me whistling,
not the statue, you know,

'cause everybody knows
that a statue can't whistle.

Y'all enjoy the show.

I know you'll love this piece.

It was done by one
of my most talented

Chelsea Daniels.

Can't we just talk about us?

We've been down
this road, Arthur.

We're over.

Let's just keep it professional.

Fine.

Very interesting
piece, quite lifelike.

Yes, it was inspired
by another student:

Raven Baxter, who has a
bad case of shoes on the brain.

Oh, very mature, Arthur.

What?

You see? This is
why we broke up.

Pumpkin? I can change.

Hey, hey, hey, I fooled them!

Oh, my goodness.
This is so tight.

Now all I have to
do is just keep cool

so Chelsea can have her moment.

Was that you?

Yeah, that was my stomach.

It took me so long to
put this thing together

I didn't even get
a chance to eat.

Can you go get me something?

Polly want a cr*cker?

If you don't get over there
and get me something to eat...

Oh, thanks, Rae!

Eddie...

Forget this. Look, I
got you some noodles.

Put 'em in my mouth.
Early bird gets the worm.

In my other mouth.

You a cranky statue, too.

Mmm.

Hurry up, Rae, there's Chelsea.

There it is.

My statue in an art gallery.

This is so cool.

I just want to dust it off
before the judges see it.

Hey! You know, Chelsea,

there's another superstition,
you know, regarding...

Ok, I'll take my chances.

All right, almost perfect.

I just want to chisel
a little off the...

Hey, you know what, Chelse?

It looks great, ya know?

Hey, let's go get some food.

Ooh.

Ah-choo!

Hmm. Man, I forgot how
good milk could taste.

Wait a minute...

Somebody filled
this carton with soda.

Corey...

Why does this milk
taste like grape soda?

It came from a purple cow?

Corey.

Ok, William and I made a
batch and sold it at school.

Corey, you are out
of the soda business.

And you're gonna donate
all that money you made

back to your school.

And I'm calling
William's mother.

I have her number in my cell.

What is that?

My cell phone.

Hello, William's mother?

This is Corey's mother.

Tonya?

Hang up the chocolate.

Ok, I just... I had
such a craving.

Yeah, I think we can safely say

that banning sugar in this house

has not been very successful.

But you know what?

I think we should cut back,

so I say we cut
back this much...

And have this much right now.

I got you something
easy to eat this time, Rae.

Ooh!

Mm-mmm. This is
good. What is this?

A hot and spicy
jalapeño pepper pop.

What?

A jalapeño pepper popper?

You picked a potentially
painful pepper popper

to pop into my pecker?

Possibly.

H-hot! Hot! Water!
Water! Lots of water!

Not right... you can't have
no water right now, Rae.

Oh, here come the judge.

Hello, your honors.

Hello.

Um, well, I worked
very hard on this piece,

and I really hope you like it.

Amazing use of texture.

I mean it...

It almost looks
like it's... Sweating.

And crying.

I mean, I can really
feel the intensity,

like there's a pressure
building from within the piece.

I wouldn't stand too close.

Well, what I was going
for here is, I wanted to...

Chelsea, let your
art speak for itself.

Water! Aah!

Aah!

Water, water...

Rae, what happened to my statue?

Um, I broke it.

What, you hated it that much?

No, Chelse, no. It was
a total accident, girl.

So, what, you covered
yourself in Clay and feathers

and pretended like
you were my statue?

Yeah.

I'm really sorry.

Sorry?

That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever done for me.

Rae, I'm sorry if my
statue hurt your feelings.

No, girl, no, I was... I
was way too sensitive.

I just wanted to be
captured as beautiful,

and you know what?

I was captured as beautiful
because it came from you.

My best friend.

Rae... Oh.

Mmm. This is really good.

What do you call this, mom?

Fresh fruit.

I could get into this.

How y'all doin'?

Hey, Rae. Hey, Rae. Hey, Rae.

Ok, now she's up to something.