[TV static drones]
[bright tone]
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."
I'm John Oliver.
Thank you so much
for joining us.
It has been another
bewilderingly busy week.
Jeff Sessions testified.
Trump seemingly admitted
he was under investigation.
Republican politicians
and staffers
were shot at by an idiot.
There was a terrible verdict
in the Philando Castile trial,
and no verdict at all
in the Bill Cosby one,
a case which incidentally
supplied us
with one of the single weirdest
moments of the year.
- Tuesday night,
after 12 hours at the courthouse
outside Philadelphia,
he yelled out his famous
Fat Albert catchphrase.
[laughter]
- What are you doing?
Shouting your character's
catchphrase
while you're on trial
is a bizarre choice.
If Renee Zellweger was
on trial for triple m*rder,
it would be strange
for her to shout,
"You had me at hello!"
No, Renee, we had you
when the blood in the trunk
turned out to be a DNA match.
You're going to jail
for a long time.
But--but tonight,
let's not talk about Cosby.
Let's talk about a different
terrible bill:
the American Health Care Act,
an act which answers
the question,
"What if a bus stop ad
for a personal injury lawyer
was a health care policy?"
It--this has been somewhat
buried by other news,
but--but Senate Republicans
have been quietly working
on a new version of the bill,
a task complicated slightly
by a surprising new critic.
- We're just getting
the Associated Press saying that
President Trump told
Republican senators
behind closed doors that
the House bill is "mean."
- Yes.
The president called
the bill "mean,"
and then he presumably
folded his arms,
stamped on the ground, screamed
until he tuckered himself out,
and fell asleep right there
on the floor.
Nap it off, big guy.
And you know what?
That--that's a little
hard to hear
coming from a man who celebrated
that mean bill's passage
at a Rose Garden ceremony.
But perhaps he knows
that this bill
is incredibly unpopular.
One analysis found it doesn't
enjoy a plurality of support
in any state in the country,
which is amazing.
You can't get all 50 states
to agree on anything.
You can only get 49 states
to admit that Delaware sucks.
And--and the holdout,
by the way: Minnesota.
They're just too nice
to admit the obvious.
And Republican senators
say that their bill
will be gentler.
But it is hard to know that,
given that very few people
have seen it,
and they're reportedly planning
to bypass the Committee hearing
and markup process,
vastly limiting the amount
of changes that can be made.
And they also seem
strangely unprepared
for the pushback
they've been getting.
- Will we have a hearing
on the health care proposal?
- Will we?
- Yes.
- Uh, I think we've already
had one, but...
- No, I mean on the proposal
that you're planning to bring
to the floor of the Senate
for a vote.
Will there be a hearing?
- [mumbling]
Huh?
[laughter]
- Well, I don't know that...
[clears throat]
There's gonna be another
hearing, but we've invited you
to--to participate.
- Oh, that is a pathetic.
He really should not
have lines fed to him
when he already looks
like a, um...
- Ventriloquist dummy
of Mike Pence,
you f*cking idiot.
- Right, a ventriloquist dummy
of Mike Pence,
you f*cking idiot.
Thank you, Juli.
Thank--thank you very much.
But all this mystery
and secrecy has a real cost.
Insurers are deciding
whether to be part
of the Obamacare exchanges
next year.
And the current situation
is making things difficult.
Just listen to a representative
from the National Association
of Insurance Commissioners.
- It comes down to--
the biggest problem we have
right now is uncertainty.
Insurance, I think everybody
at this table will agree--
insurance hates uncertainty.
- Yeah, of course
insurance companies
don't like uncertainty.
They like consistency
and predictability.
This is an industry
where a duck has been
a company spokesperson
for 18 f*cking years.
But that uncertainty is
really taking a toll.
Anthem pulled out
of the Obamacare marketplace
in Ohio,
citing among other things,
"continual changes
in federal operations,
rules, and guidance."
And yeah, that will happen
when no one knows what the law
is even going to be.
And yet one of the prime drivers
of all this chaos
seems oddly cavalier
about that Anthem news
and also the prospect
of people losing coverage.
- Just yesterday, we learned
that the last statewide insurer
in Ohio is leaving.
Have you folks heard about that?
That's it.
Bye-bye.
Wave good-bye.
What a mess.
- Okay, we all need to remember
that sentence,
because those may be the exact
words that Trump uses one day
as a mushroom cloud
explodes across America.
Bye-bye.
Wave good-bye.
What a mess.
And now, this.
[regal music]
♪ ♪
- My father used to say
there are three things
you never change
people's minds on:
politics, baseball, and sex.
- My dad used to say,
"At times in life,
it's important to call
an ace an ace."
- When I was a kid,
my dad used to say,
"Son, don't look very far
up the family tree.
There's some stuff up there
you don't need to see."
- My father used to say,
"If you draw a circle
"and shut me out,
"I'm gonna draw
a bigger circle
and shut you in."
- My daddy used to say,
"It's Wednesday all day long
unless it rains."
I never did know what
would happen if it rained.
Uh, guess it would just
be rainy Wednesday.
- As my dad used to say,
"Them are the rules."
- As my daddy used to say,
"You're gonna have that.
You're gonna have that."
- My father used to say,
"You can't tell the players
without a program."
As my father used to say,
"Congress is always in session."
My father used to say,
"There lies the body
of Jonathan Gray, who died
defending his right of way."
- As my dad used to say,
"Dogs don't bark
at parked cars."
- That is very profound.
[laughter]
- Moving on.
Our main story tonight
concerns coal,
basically cocaine for
Thomas the t*nk Engine.
We--we've heard a lot
about coal this past year,
particularly from
President Trump.
In fact, arguably a key reason
that we have
this cautionary Bible story
in the White House
was his ability to connect
with mining communities
during the campaign,
even doing this
in West Virginia.
- Nice.
Nice.
I'll put it on, right?
[cheers and applause]
- Okay, okay.
Let me stop you right there.
It is not easy watching someone
I doubt has done a--
a day of hard labor in his life
show how he thinks
coal mining works.
It's like watching
a four-year-old play store.
"Oh, that's right, Aiden.
"You just hand them your ducky
and then you get cookies,
you idiot."
But what that crowd probably
remembered from that day
was how Trump's speech ended.
- We'll start winning,
winning, winning.
And you are gonna
be very proud.
And for those miners,
get ready,
because you're gonna be
working your asses off,
all right?
Thank you, everybody.
- That's right, you're gonna
be working your asses off,
like that, right?
That's how you do it.
Maybe some of this you'll do,
or maybe this.
Maybe you'll do something--
you're mimers, right?
You're mi--you're going
back to the coal mimes,
aren't you?
I don't know what
you people do.
But Trump promising
to bring back coal jobs
is undeniably potent, and to
listen to his EPA administrator,
it's a promise that
he's already keeping.
- Since the last--fourth quarter
of last year to--
to most recently, added almost
In the month of May alone,
almost 7,000 jobs.
- Okay, so the only
problem there
is that those numbers
are bullshit.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics
says the actual number
of coal jobs created
since last year
has been just 1,300.
So that 50,000 new jobs claim
was off by 48,700,
which for this administration
is actually
uncharacteristically accurate.
I--I'd just assumed that
the figure would be more like
not actually jobs,
they're lobsters,
and Trump didn't create them.
He just remembers 12 times in
his life that he saw a lobster.
But look, there is no doubt
Trump claims coal
is a huge priority
for his White House,
and let's set aside tonight
the fact that it is
environmentally catastrophic,
which we shouldn't,
because it is.
But this president clearly
doesn't care about that.
He pulled out
of the Paris Agreement,
citing coal as one
of the reasons.
Uh, he's lifted a freeze
on new coal leases
on public lands
and revoked a rule
to limit coal mining companies
from dumping debris
into local streams,
with miners behind him
both times.
So if coal jobs are
so important to him,
let's talk about them.
And let's begin with a number,
because it's smaller
than you might think.
- While President Trump
has talked about
reviving the coal industry,
which employs 76,000 people,
retailer JCPenney,
on the verge of bankruptcy,
employs 114,000 alone.
- Wow, so there's a lot
that is surprising there.
For a start, I didn't even know
that JCPenney
had employees anymore.
I thought anyone who walked
into a JCPenney
was just handed the keys
to the store,
saying, "Here, see if you
can make it work.
Good luck."
But 76,000 coal workers is less
than you'd expect,
although in the areas where
they are concentrated,
coal mines are central
to the community.
Uh, some schools have miners as
mascots for their sports teams.
Or even--or even they have
coal industry-sponsored fairs,
where kids make a variety
of projects,
perhaps none as awesome
as this one.
- It's about a lump of coal
named Lumpy
who's on a journey to figure out
what he--
what he's gonna be
and what he could be
when he "grows up."
[laughter]
- I love that kid.
And by the way, top-notch use
of air quotes there,
because you and I know
both know, kid,
that Lumpy is not going
to "grow up."
Lumpy is going to live
a short life underground
until one fateful day
his friends notice he's missing.
"Where's Lumpy?" they'll say.
"Has anyone seen Lumpy?"
They'll form search parties
and put posters up around town,
but in the back of their minds,
they know the truth.
They've always known.
And one day
there's a knock at the door.
It's the news they've all
been dreading all along.
Lumpy has been burned to death
in a horrifying ritual
alongside the entire
Lump family.
This is why we don't name them,
because then we get attached!
[laughter]
Anyway, the point is,
when coal jobs go away,
communities feel it,
especially because these
jobs are high-paying.
A coal miner can make upwards
of $80,000,
so that's not easy to replace.
And the industry itself
points much of the blame
for lost jobs
at President Obama,
with one of the loudest voices
being this guy.
- These are my employees.
I care for them deeply.
Berrick Obama and his
Democrat followers
are destroying entire
segments of America.
Mr. Obama is an outlaw.
I pray every day
that this man's incompetence
will be overcome...
that his evil agenda
will be overcome.
When you have a 52-year-old
coal miner
in your office crying
because you were forced
to lay him off,
that's what Obama has never seen
because he's never had a job.
- What...
are you talking about?
He had a job.
Listen to yourself.
His job was destroying entire
segments of America
with his evil incompetence,
or his name was not
Berrick Obama.
Now, now that--that man
was Bob Murray,
the CEO of Murray Energy,
and we will get to him later.
But his--his claim that
Obama's regulations
have been job-K*llers is worth
taking a look at,
because while coal mining jobs
undoubtedly did decline
under Obama,
it's worth noting that
coal mining jobs
have also been declining
for decades.
I mean, just look
at that trend line.
Coal industry jobs declined
at roughly the same rate
as careers in
the zeppelin industry
and babies named Adolf.
Oh, some still exist,
there's just not nearly as many
of them anymore.
And--and I'm not saying
Obama's regulations
had no effect,
but researchers have found
that they had very little impact
relative to other factors.
When they studied the decline
in expected demand for coal
from a decade ago, they found
that nearly half of that drop
was owing to the drop
in natural gas prices,
and another 18% was due to
the growth in renewable energy
like wind and solar.
And there is perhaps
no more dramatic evidence
of coal losing out
to solar energy than this.
- Work has begun to power
the Kentucky Coal Mining Museum
not by coal, but by the sun.
- We believe that this project
will help save
at least $8,000 to $10,000
off of the energy costs
on this building alone.
- It's true.
The Kentucky Coal Mining Museum
is now using solar energy.
It's like finding out
the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
was brought to you
by Smash Mouth.
[laughter]
And--and the hard truth is,
even if consumption
wasn't declining,
companies would still
be cutting jobs,
as they are increasingly
replacing miners with machines.
- You had all this
mechanization going on
and people leaving,
but it's come
the point now
where they don't do
underground mining
if they can get
away with it.
They do mountaintop removals
and surface mining.
You can mine a whole
mountainside,
and I'm talking about
a whole mountainside,
within a year or two
with around, uh,
and you--
that's all you need.
- He's right.
Coal mining,
like almost all industries,
is facing increased automation.
And I say that well aware
that in five to ten years,
I am probably going
to be replaced
by a robotic English
tea kettle
that screams depressing
money stats at you.
And look, the rise
of alternative energies
is a good thing for
the Earth as a whole.
And some point out that
as coal jobs go away,
new green jobs are opening up,
which is true,
but not where coal miners live.
West Virginia and Kentucky,
for instance,
rank near the bottom
in solar jobs per capita.
So for the people
who've faced layoffs,
the future can look bleak.
- It gets really
depressing whenever you--
you know, you have kids,
and you go to work
one day and they say,
"Well, you don't
work here anymore."
And you got to go home and...
Face your family and say
you don't have a job no more.
- Yeah, and that is devastating.
And I know that it does not help
someone in his situation to be
told statistics by someone
like me in a TV studio,
possibly powered by coal,
who doesn't have the skills
or muscle mass to be a miner,
and who looks like the results
of a drunk threesome
between Chris Hayes,
Austin Powers, and a potato.
But--I know that,
but the question is,
what does help someone
in that situation?
Donald Trump insists
that he's helping miners
by reducing regulations
on coal companies.
But too often, people conflate
coal, coal miners,
and coal companies,
and imply that when
you help one,
you help them all.
But they are not all
in the same boat,
although they may
insist otherwise.
For instance, when the coal
company Alpha Natural Resources
filed for bankruptcy
two years ago,
their CEO stressed
how painful that was.
- Are more mine
closures possible?
- They are, unfortunately.
- And for Crutchfield,
that's clearly
the hardest part of it all.
When I asked him about this
photo displayed prominently
at Alpha headquarters,
a photo called "Daddy's Hands,"
emotions were hard to hold back.
- That is the backbone
of America,
and we have that photograph
just to remind everybody
who we serve.
- That's a nice sentiment,
just slightly undercut
by the fact that
according to court documents,
Alpha later asked
its bankruptcy trustee
if it could save $3 million
by terminating the health
and life insurance benefits
of around 1,200 retirees,
while at the same time
seeking permission to pay
bonuses totaling up to around
$12 million to top executives,
including that guy
that you just saw,
which is the sort of thing
that might make Daddy's hands
want to do something like this.
And you wouldn't really
blame them for that.
And yet, coal CEOs
constantly claim to workers
that it's us against them.
Take Don Blankenship,
ex-CEO of Massey Energy.
He once held a rally
featuring Ted Nugent,
Hank Williams, Jr.,
and a rousing speech
from Blankenship himself.
- I know that the safety
and health of coal miners
is my most important job.
I don't need Washington
politicians to tell me that
and neither do you.
[cheers and applause]
- Okay, so, speech aside,
that's a hell of a look.
It takes a brave man to go for
half Kerri Strug
and half the "Time to make
the doughnuts" guy.
And--and if you thought--
if you thought
the presence of a man
who's just been ejaculated on
by a flag
was as upsetting as
that rally could get,
well, guess who else was there.
- We believe in God, right?
all: Yeah!
- Faith, family?
Country?
We believe America's
a shining city on a hill, right?
- Freedom!
- We believe in freedom.
How you doin', doc?
By the way, there's a--
there's a really hot-looking
chick in the third row there.
How you doing, baby?
I'll take you backstage
to meet Hank a little later,
if you want.
You want to meet me later?
- What the f*ck was that?
In the course of his speech,
he referenced God,
quoted Reagan,
and engaged in
sexual harassment.
That man really is Fox News.
[laughter]
But--but notably--notably,
just a few months after
his rally against
Washington's safety rules,
Blankenship's company had
a massive expl*si*n,
k*lling 29 miners.
And Blankenship
denies responsibility.
But in the wake
of that disaster,
he was sentenced
to a year in prison
for conspiring to violate mine
safety and health standards.
He actually just got out,
and now has to rebuild his life
with absolutely nothing
but his estimated
golden parachute
of $86 million.
And that will help you
get back on your feet.
back on anyone's feet.
You want to get back
on Fred Astaire's feet?
That's no problem.
For $86 million,
grab a hacksaw.
We are digging up Fred.
Blankenship is already lobbying
the Trump administration
to oppose more onerous
criminal laws for mine owners,
saying they "will not improve
mine safety."
And I would like to think
that Trump would not
listen to him,
because, you know,
he loves the miners so much.
But there's not much
evidence of that.
What there is evidence of
is his affection for mine CEOs.
His Secretary of Commerce
is Wilbur Ross,
who ran the company that had
the deadly Sago mine disaster.
And he's also close to that man
that you saw earlier,
Bob Murray, who claims
that Trump called him
shortly after the election,
to deliver a special message.
- He said,
"Tell your coal miners
I've got their back."
And then he said,
"I love you, man."
- Well, congratulations
on that, Bob.
You're now in the very select
group of people
that Donald Trump has said
"I love you" to,
along with presumably
the worst Baldwin,
exactly one of his
two daughters,
and the hollow-eyed
business ghost
that greets him in the mirror
every morning.
And Murray actually illustrates
the divide that can exist
between a coal company's
interests and those
of its workers.
And I'm going to need
to be careful here,
because when we contacted
Murray Energy for this piece,
they sent us a letter
instructing us
to "cease and desist from any
effort to defame, harass,
or otherwise injure Mr. Murray
or Murray Energy,"
and telling us that
"failure to do so will result
in immediate litigation."
And a cease-and-desist letter
is, incredibly, something that
we've never received before
on this show.
Not even the nation
of New Zealand
has sent us one,
and we wallaby-kick those
"Eeminem" burglars
in the balls almost every week.
So--so I have to proceed
with caution.
I'm not going to say,
for instance,
that Bob Murray looks like
a geriatric Dr. Evil,
even though--even though
he clearly does,
because Murray Energy has
sued people in the past.
Just last month,
they sued "The New York Times"
for libel, and they also sued
everyone from a contributor
to "The Huffington Post"
to these two papers in Ohio.
In fact, Murray's current
general counsel
told reporters that this paper
had inflicted a potential
economic loss
of, and I am not
making this up,
$1 billion,
which,
when you think about it,
is exactly what you'd expect
from a geriatric Dr. Evil.
And though Murray Energy have
insisted in the past
that they only sue news outlets
as a matter of "last resort"
and "never to chill
free speech,"
their letter also tells us
that they might
"pursue our damages
"to the fullest extent
of the law,
"including to the level
of the Supreme Court
of the United States."
And that would actually
be a real mistake,
because we have a personal
relationship with those judges.
And I'll give you a fun fact.
If you scratch Justice Alito
just behind his left ear,
he pees on the floor.
That's true.
That's true of the dog
and the man.
So--so as we have been
explicitly told
to "cease and desist,"
let us do neither
of those things,
and let's talk about Bob Murray.
Because he--he often speaks
on TV in defense
of coal workers,
but let's take a look
at his actions, shall we?
Because Murray's company
recently unsuccessfully
sued to block a rule
aimed at reducing
miners' exposure
to coal dust that
causes black lung,
a disease which k*lled
as many as 10,000 people
between 1995 and 2005.
Murray insisted that the rule
was illegal, destructive,
and did nothing for miners,
uh--nothing for their health,
although last year, uh,
with the rule in effect,
government reports indicated
respirable dust levels
fell to historic lows.
And look, if you even appear
to be on the same side
as black lung,
you're on the wrong
f*cking side.
That's the equivalent
of watching "My Girl"
and rooting for the bees.
And--and some of--
some of Murray's employees
have clashed with the company
over safety.
A few years back,
Murray proposed a program
where miners could receive
bonuses based on the amount
of coal they extracted.
It was voted down by employees
who believed it would have
"an adverse impact on safety
in the mines."
But the company did it anyway,
saying if workers
didn't like it,
they could just "write 'void'
on their checks."
And amazingly, around
with two going even further,
one returning a check for $11.58
by writing "Kiss my ass, Bob"
on it and another taking a check
for $3.22 and writing,
"Eat shit, Bob."
And--I have to say,
well-played, miners,
because you could have sent
that message on a cake,
or you could have
sent it on a bear
with a big stuffed heart,
but to write it
on your $3 bonus check?
Well-played to you, sirs.
And then there was
the deadly collapse
at the Crandall Canyon Mine
in Utah.
Murray attracted attention
for a bizarre press conference
in which, while rescuers were
still working, he was making
bold claims about the cause
of the accident.
- This is the first
major accident I've ever had
in one of my coal mines.
In 20 years of being
in existence,
the first major accident.
And this was caused
by an earthquake.
Not something that
Murray Energy
or Utah American did
or our employees did
or our management did.
- So here is the interesting
thing about that.
To this day, Murray says
that the evidence proves
he was correct that
an earthquake
caused the collapse.
But that was decidedly
not the conclusion
of the government's
investigation,
which found it was caused by
"unauthorized mining practices,"
and there was "no evidence that
a naturally occurring earthquake
caused the collapse."
Murray does not want us talking
about the accident, saying
it was "an incredibly difficult
time for the families."
And though he admits
that he "was unable
to satisfy the expectations
of the family members,"
he says he showed them
"honestly, sincerity,
and compassion"
throughout the crisis.
Although, according to both
a Department of Labor
investigation and Congressional
testimony by some of them,
their pain was exacerbated
by Murray's behavior
while they waited
for news of their loved ones.
- All we heard was
earthquake, earthquake.
We did not want to hear
about earthquakes,
but wanted to know
when we were going to see
our loved ones again.
Murray more than once
yelled at us
when we asked questions.
- Wow.
Yelling at distraught families
when they ask questions
is not okay.
It is barely okay to do it
with five-year-olds,
and they ask over 42 million
questions a day.
"I give up!
"'Why are birds?' is not
a question
"I know the f*cking answer to,
Kyler!
Google it! Google it!
Google it!"
And there is one more
Bob story--
Bob Murray story that I would
like you to know about.
It's an apocryphal tale
concerning how
the company began.
Union miners claim that
Murray used to tell them
that he "was sitting
on his back porch,
"contemplating his future,
"when he was approached
by a squirrel"
who "hopped up next to him,
"looked him in the eye,
and said,
"'Bob Murray, you should be
operating your very own mines'."
And we asked Murray's company
about that story,
and they told us,
"It never occurred."
And you know what?
I actually believe Murray
on that one,
'cause I think deep down
we all know
if squirrels could talk,
they wouldn't be giving
career advice
to coal executives.
They'd be loudly listing
their favorite nuts.
"Okay, let's go--
acorns, chestnuts,
"walnuts, almonds--
cashews are good,
"although, of course,
technically not a nut.
"Brazil nuts, not my favorite,
"but I wouldn't kick 'em
out of bed either,
"do you feel me, guys?
Do you feel this?"
And look, to get back to jobs,
Murray argues that he has
provided thousands of them
to mining communities,
and he's right about that.
And for those communities,
that fact might
understandably outweigh
everything else,
especially if Murray and Trump
can bring coal back.
But notably, even Murray himself
is careful regarding that.
- Can those jobs come back
if it's a Donald Trump
presidency?
- I don't think those jobs
can come back, ma'am.
But we can stop the destruction.
I don't think it can
come back to where it was,
but we can stop it, and that's
what I've told Mr. Trump.
And he gets it.
- Uh, hang on there, Bob.
No, he doesn't.
He doesn't--
A, he barely gets
what mining is.
He may well think it's just
running up to things
that he wants
and yelling, "Mine!"
And--that--that's possible.
And--and B, B,
he's repeatedly told miners
that they're going to be
working their asses off.
If Trump really cares
about miners,
he would be putting a plan
in place for their futures
as mining continues
its long-term decline.
But he isn't doing that.
Now--now, luckily, there are
some small things being done
by others.
One company called Bit Source
in Kentucky has been
hiring miners
as software programmers
and paying them
through their retraining.
- I've learned numerous
coding languages.
I've learned CSS.
I've learned PHP, HTML,
JavaScript, Twig, and YAML.
- That's really impressive--
so much so that I will
ignore the fact
that Twig and YAML sounds like
a bootleg Russian DVD knockoff
of "Lilo & Stitch."
[laughter]
And--but look, that--
that program is encouraging.
But it won't suit everyone.
And at present, it only has
nine jobs for former miners.
And Trump is actively
hurting the chances
of other projects like it.
His new budget
proposes cutting funding
for the Appalachian
Regional Commission,
which helps revitalize
communities affected
by coal mining job losses
by funding employment programs
that have helped,
among other things,
Bit Source.
And you might wonder,
well, why would a guy
who says he lovers miners
all the time do that?
Well, for a sense of how
he really feels,
just read a "Playboy" interview
from 1990,
where he said, and I quote...
And you know what?
They certainly don't have
what Trump has,
specifically inherited wealth
and hair like the wispy pubes
of an aging Yeti.
Look, the point here is,
Trump needs to stop lying
to coal miners.
We all do.
Stop telling them that
their jobs are all coming back
when they're not.
Stop telling them
that coal is clean
when it isn't.
And stop pretending that
this isn't an industry
in the middle of
a difficult and painful,
albeit necessary transition.
An honest conversation about
coal and its miners
needs to be had,
and we should neither
cease nor desist from having it.
Which actually reminds me,
one more thing here.
Bob Murray, I didn't really plan
for so much of this piece
to be about you,
but you kind of forced my hand
on that one.
And I know that you are
probably going to sue me,
but you know what?
I stand by everything I said.
Although, just to reiterate,
I do not think you claimed
a squirrel talked to you.
Even by your standard,
that would be a pretty
ridiculous thing to say.
So I believe that
you have never been spoken to
by a squirrel...
Until, that is, tonight.
Look, Bob.
Look.
Look, Bob.
It's Mr. Nutterbutter, Bob.
Look!
Look.
Huh?
Look.
[cheers and applause]
It's Mr. Nutterbutter!
- Hi, John.
- Hey--hey, there.
Hey, there.
Hey, there, Mr. Nutterbutter.
I understand that you have
a message for Bob Murray.
- I do.
- Okay.
- Hey, Bob.
Just wanted to say,
if you're planning on suing,
I do not have a billion dollars.
But I do have a check
for three acorns and 18 cents.
- Oh, that's--that's very nice
of you, Mr. Nutterbutter.
- It is.
- Yeah.
- It's made out to...
"Eat Shit, Bob!"
Memo line: "Kiss my ass!"
- Thank you, Mr. Nutterbutter!
That's our show.
Thanks so much for watching.
See you next week.
Good night!
[cheers and applause]
♪ ♪
04x16 - Coal mining in the United States and Bob Murray
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American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.
American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.