03x18 - 2016 Republican National Convention

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver". Aired: April 27, 2014 – present.*
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03x18 - 2016 Republican National Convention

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[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[upbeat rock music]



[cheers and applause]

- Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."

Thank you so much
for joining us.

I'm John Oliver.

Just time for a quick recap
of the week,

and we begin with
the 2016 presidential election,

or as you probably
know it by now,

America's 3-D IMAX Shit-Fit
Dumpster Fire 2016.

This week, the Republicans
held their convention.

More on that later,
but tomorrow,

the Democrats' convention
begins,

and it is off
to a bumpy start,

not just because their chair
has announced plans to resign

due to the contents of thousands
of leaked DNC emails,

but also because Hillary's pick
for running mate of Tim Kaine

has not exactly inspired people.

- He's a--a--a white guy.

A little boring.

- He seems kind of dull.

- He's somebody that has sort of
had just the moniker of boring.

- Tim Kaine is a mayonnaise
sandwich on whole wheat bread.

- Okay, okay.

Okay, we get it.

Tim Kaine is boring.

He's--he's a white gym sock
pulled all the way up.

He's a Granny Smith apple
for dessert.

He's a single dry hump
in the missionary position.

And--and while some commentators
try to fight that narrative,

it didn't really work.

- You know, maybe he's not
the most exciting person

in the world, but he has
a personality; he really does.

- We're making a lot
about the fact

that Tim Kaine knows how
to speak Spanish.

- He actually won the 2013
National Press Club

Centennial Spelling Bee.

- He plays the harmonica.

An interesting fun fact.

- Is it?

Is that a fun fact?

Because let's take a look at
Tim Kaine playing his harmonica

and see exactly
how fun it is.

[playing The Beatles'
"Love Me Do"]



That--
that is a performance

that would make
a insurance firm middle manager

turn to his assistant and say,

"Let's not do the talent show
next year."

But look, while there
has been minimal excitement

from Democrats regarding
the Kaine pick,

try and think of it like this.

For months, the party's
been looking at the VP slot

as a gift that Hillary
was going to give them.

Everyone was so excited
to open it.

Was it a puppy?

A PlayStation?

Elizabeth Warren?

Well, no, it turned out
to be a rice cooker.

A plain, white machine
that cooks plain, white rice.

That is what Tim Kaine is.

And sure, he's got instructions
in Spanish,

and that's nice to have,
but you know, he is still

a f*cking rice cooker.

Now,
Donald Trump also went

with a rice cooker
of a vice president,

except it's worth remembering
that, and this is crucial,

Mike Pence is a rice cooker
covered in h*m* slogans

which is currently being held
by a chimpanzee

who could bite your face off,

so, you know, relax, Democrats;
it could've been worse.

And for now,
let's turn on to the--

let's move on to the continuing
fallout from Brexit,

the name for both the UK's
decision to leave

the European Union
and, I'm sure,

at least one baby in Brooklyn.

"Brexit, you put down your
kombucha and you come here now!"

Now, the UK has had
a dramatic few weeks.

Prime Minister David Cameron
has stepped aside

and his successor,
Theresa May, has taken over,

and while it's clearly
too early to know

exactly what kind
of leader she'll be,

one of her first appointments
was not really reassuring.

male reporter:
There were some surprises.

Former London mayor
Boris Johnson

is the new foreign secretary.

- Yes, Boris Johnson,
a grown man who looks like

a problem child
at a day care center,

is now Britain's
new foreign secretary.

Boris Johnson!

A man with such
horrifically poor judgment,

he wasn't just Britain's
most ardent advocate

for pulling out of the EU,

he may be its strongest argument
for pulling out in general.

"Pull out, Barnaby, pull out!

"We don't want to accidentally
make another Boris.

That would be ghastly."

Boris is a weird choice
for a diplomat because,

to put it mildly, he has said
a lot of dumb things,

as was pointed out
during a joint press conference

between him and John Kerry.

man: You've accused the current
U.S. president Barack Obama

of harboring a part-Kenyan's

"ancestral dislike
for the British Empire."

You've described
possible future

U.S. president
Hillary Clinton

as someone
with "dyed blonde hair

"and pouty lips
and a steely blue stare,

like a sadistic nurse
in a mental hospital."

You've also likened her
to Lady Macbeth.

Do you take these comments
back?

- Ooh!

It is not a great sign
when one of the first questions

you're being asked is,

"Are you going to be
as bad at your job

as all evidence suggests
you will be?"

But Boris Johnson, a man
whose face always looks like

he just quantum-leaped
into his own body

and hasn't figured out
who he is yet,

had an answer, sort of.

- I'm afraid that in the--
there is such a--

a--a rich thesaurus now
of things that I've said

that have been one way
or another,

through what alchemy
I do not know,

somehow misconstrued,

that it would really take me
too long to engage

in a full global itinerary
of apology to--to all concerned.

- Now, interestingly,
that is the exact sound

that the Oxford English
Dictionary makes

when you put it in a blender.

But--but while Boris Johnson,
a washed-up scarecrow

who never even thought
to ask the Wizard for a brain,

seems to think that it would
take too long to adjudicate

the idiotic things
he's said and done.

Let me--let me give you
just a taste more

of Britain's new chief diplomat,

because he's referred
to "Papua New Guinea-style

orgies of cannibalism,"

he's referred to Africans
using these words,

which I am not going
to repeat,

he's compared Vladimir Putin
to Dobby the House Elf,

wrote a poem about the Turkish
president f*cking a goat,

said the Chinese
have zero cultural influence,

and once got stuck on a zip line
while waving the British flag.

But at least in that example,
he's only hurting himself,

specifically his genitals,

or his "Boris Johnson,"
if you will,

but watch what he did
in an exhibition rugby match

to a ten-year-old
Japanese child.

- Go! Go!

[crowd exclaims]

- Boris Johnson might just be
the least diplomatic diplomat

in existence, which actually
makes him perfect for this job

because what better symbol

of centuries
of British foreign policy

than a foppish buffoon
stampeding his way

around the world,
knocking things over,

falling flat on his face,
and refusing to apologize?

And now this.

male announcer: And now...

- We'd like to be
premier journalists.

We'd like to restore objectivity
where we find it lacking.

We just expect to do fine,
balanced journalism.

- Iraq is the first domino,

and the legal basis
for removing S*ddam is there.

- The image we have
of poor people as starving

and living in squalor
really is not accurate.

Many of them have things.

What they lack
is the richness of spirit.

- Santa is what he is,
and just so you know,

Santa just is white.

- Not all Muslims
are t*rrorists,

but all t*rrorists are Muslim.

man: Barack Obama,
raised as a Muslim.

This is huge!

What do you think
about this?

- Wednesdays are big days
at Hooters, right?

- Huge days at Hooters.

- It's Wednesday,
which means it's "Wingsday."

- And here comes Brian,
and there he's going down.

Brian's going down!

Brian!
Oh, Geraldo! Geraldo!

man: Fox News contributor
Newt Gingrich.

woman: Fox News contributor
Karl Rove.

man: Fox News contributor
Sarah Palin.

woman: And Fox News contributor
Mark Fuhrman.

- Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

- The Saul Alinsky playbook.

man: The w*r on Christmas.

- Chick-fil-A.
- Chinamen.

- Solyndra.
- PC police.

- Anti-white bias.

- The gay agenda.
- Nanny state.

- Long-form birth certificate.

- Apology tour.
- Death panels.

- Benghazi.
- New Black Panther Party.

- Barack Hussein Obama.

- Ground zero mosque.

- Class warfare.

- t*rror1st fist jab?

- That is an obscene lie!

- No, it's not a lie,
Geraldo.

- That is an absolute misrep--

- No, don't filibuster.

- Let me have--
- No!

- These are cheap
political--

- No, it isn't!
- You know it.

- This is justice.
- This has nothing to do--

- And you want anarchy!

- You're playing
the Obama hater game.

- He's going nowhere--

- You're playing
the Obama hater game.

- [voice breaks]
I just love my country.

[laughter]

And I fear for it.



[cheers and applause]

- Moving on.

Our main story this week

concerns the Republican National
Convention in Cleveland,

the most apocalyptic thing
ever to happen to that city,

and bear in mind, their river
has repeatedly caught fire.

Now, it has been over
for a few days,

but we thought
it might be worth taking

a few extra minutes
to try and figure out

what the f*ck just happened.

Because you know you are dealing
with a pretty unconventional

convention when a speaker opens
with this statement.

- My name is Dana White.

I am the President of the
Ultimate Fighting Championship.

- The only way
that would have made sense

is if his next words were,

"And I have clearly
sleepwalked here.

"Please gently walk me
from the stage

"and return me to my family.

They are very worried."

Now, he was actually there

to speak to Donald Trump's
business acumen,

a--a repeated theme
throughout the whole week.

- He gets stuff done.

Donald Trump is a proven leader.

- Innovator. Entrepreneur.

- When Donald Trump
is in charge,

all that counts is ability,
effort, and excellence.

- He has created jobs
for thousands

and is one of the greatest
visionaries of our time.

- Now, now, before you laugh,

you cannot say Trump
isn't a visionary.

For a long time,
he was the only one

who envisioned himself
as a presidential nominee.

He is basically what happens
if "The Secret"

gets into the wrong hands.

But that message of Trump
as a skilled manager

was somewhat undercut
by the fact

the entire convention
was a mismanaged shitshow,

from Melania Trump using
a partly plagiarized speech

to Ted Cruz
being booed off the stage

for not endorsing Donald Trump

to the fact that supposedly

Donald Trump knew Ted Cruz
wouldn't endorse him

and didn't care.

man: The decision came as no
surprise to Trump, who tweeted,

"I saw his speech two hours
early but let him speak anyway.

No big deal."

- Yeah, but that's not
reassuring.

If the captain of the "Titanic"
had tweeted after the fact,

"I saw that iceberg
two hours before

and sailed into it anyway,
no big deal,"

you wouldn't think, "Wow, that
captain sure ran a tight ship!"

But, you know,
it's actually fitting

that Trump had seemingly done
so little to prepare

for his party's convention,

given that the party itself
had done so little

to prepare for Donald Trump.

After the last election,
the GOP published

a postmortem report titled

"The Growth & Opportunity
Project,"

analyzing their mistakes
and laying out a plan

to expand their appeal.

Now, it featured
passages like,

"Many minorities
wrongly think

"that Republicans
do not like them

or want them in the country,"

and, "We must emphasize
the importance

"of a welcoming,
inclusive message,

"in particular
when discussing issues

that relate directly
to a minority group."

Unfortunately,
over the past year,

that report and its carefully
considered suggestions

has been overshadowed
by a different report titled

"Literally Everything
Donald Trump

Has Ever Said and Done."

Because this is a guy
who suggested

building a wall
to keep Mexicans out

and advocated a temporary ban
on Muslims entering the country,

so it's like making
a New Year's resolution

to eat healthy
and then spending the next year

only eating meals so large
that they're free

if you eat them in one sitting.

But amazingly,
through all the chaos

and confusion this week,
one theme did emerge,

and it was accidentally
summarized best--

and I can't believe
I'm saying this--

by Antonio Sabato Jr.,
an IMDb page-awarded actor,

who delivered a relatively
restrained speech

before opening his heart

regarding President Obama
to ABC News.

- First of all, I don't believe
that the guy is a Christian.

I don't believe he follows
the God that I love

and the Jesus that I love.

- You believe that
President Obama is a Muslim.

- Absolutely. Absolutely.
- Is that what you're saying?

- And that is based on
what you feel in your heart?

- That's what I believe, yeah.
You know what?

I have the right
to believe that,

and you have the right
to go against that,

but I believe it.

- Now, what's revealing there
isn't his mistaken belief

that President Obama
is a Muslim.

It's also not the big shock
that Antonio Sabato Jr.,

star of the actual
VH1 reality show "My Antonio,"

is still both alive
and an idiot.

No, what is truly revealing
is his implication

that believing something
to be true is the same

as it being true,
because if anything,

that was the theme of the
Republican Convention this week.

It was a four-day exercise

in emphasizing feelings
over facts.

- People around the country feel

the Obama administration
has kicked them to the curb.

- Our country right now is--
is in a very bad spot.

You can feel it.

- The vast majority of Americans
today do not feel safe.

- There's a lot of Americans
out there who feel like

Democrat politicians
have taken them for granted.

- The whole economy feels stuck.

- What do you mean,
it feels stuck?

The economy is about numbers.

Feelings are supposed to be
irrelevant.

Incidentally, "Feelings
are supposed to be irrelevant,"

is a phrase that's inscribed

on every British
marriage certificate.

And--and this focus--
this focus on feelings

reached its apex

in Donald Trump's
acceptance speech,

which was light
on concrete policy

but heavy on provoking
strong emotions.

- Decades of progress made
in bringing down crime

are now being reversed.

I know that corruption
has reached a level

like never, ever before
in our country.

Poverty and v*olence at home.

w*r and destruction abroad.


with criminal records

ordered deported
from our country

are tonight roaming free
to thr*aten peaceful citizens.

- Holy shit.

He sounds like
he's about to announce

the first annual "Hunger Games."

But--but look,
it is worth noting

that since President Obama
took office,

crime rates, the flow of illegal
immigrants over our borders,

and claims for unemployment
benefits have all declined,

and yet, frighteningly,
when reporters started

pointing that out,
it didn't seem to matter.

Just watch as Newt Gingrich
brushed off any effort

to fact-check Trump's claims
about the U.S. crime rate.

- Violent crime is down.

The economy is ticking up.

- Not down in the big--

it is not down
in the biggest cities.

- Violent crime--
m*rder rate is down.

- Then how come--
- It is down.

- Then how come it's up
in Chicago, up in Baltimore,

and up in Washington?
- There are pockets where--

certainly, we have not
tackled m*rder.

- Your--your national
capital--your third--

- Across.
- Your third-biggest city--

- But violent crime across
the country is down.

- The average American,
I will bet you this morning,

does not think crime is down,

does not think they are safer.

- But it is--we are
safer, and it is down.

- No, that's your view.
- Those are facts.

- I just told--no.

- These are the
national FBI facts.

- But what I said--but what I--
- Statistics.

- No, what I said
is also a fact.

- No, it isn't.

No, it isn't.

It's only a fact that
that's a feeling people have.

This is a graph
of the violent crime rate.

It's not
a f*cking Rorschach test.

You can't infer
anything you like from it.

And sure, you can cherry-pick
recent upticks in some cities,

but the overall trend
across the country

during the Obama presidency,

and indeed for the last


But Newt wasn't done.

- The current view
is that liberals

have a whole set
of statistics,

which theoretically
may be right,

but it's not
where human beings are.

- But what you're saying is--
- Yeah, but--

- But hold on, Mr. Speaker,

because you're saying liberals
use these numbers.

They use this
sort of magic math.

- Sure.
- These are the FBI statistics.

They're not
a liberal organization.

They're a
crime-fighting organization.

- No, but what I said
is equally true.

People feel more threat--
- Feel it.

Yes, they feel it, but
the facts don't support it.

- Fine, as a
political candidate,

I'll go with how people feel,

and I'll let you go
with the theoreticians.

- He brought--

he just brought a feeling
to a f*cking fact fight.

And--and it is worth
taking a--

just a moment
to seriously consider

what Gingrich was saying there,
because think about it.

I think we can all agree

that candidates can create
feelings in people.

And what Gingrich is saying
is that feelings

are as valid as facts.

So then,
by the transitive property,

candidates can create facts,

which is terrifying
because that means

someone like Donald Trump

can essentially create
his own reality,

and that is the closest thing
to an actual magic spell

I think I've ever seen.

And if you're thinking,
well, hold on,

eventually,
reality will set in,

because, if elected,
Trump would actually

have to deal with facts.

Well, I'm not so sure
about that.

Just this week,
the "Times" reported

that not only
was John Kasich asked

if he had any interest
in the vice presidency

by the Trump campaign,
he was offered quite a lot more.

- Donald Trump Jr.
even called

one of John Kasich's
top aides and said

that if he wanted the job,
he could even be in charge

of foreign
and domestic policy,

which, of course,
is kind of everything.

- Yeah. Exactly.

The only thing
that is not foreign policy

or domestic policy
is space policy,

which leads me to believe
Donald Trump's entire goal

is to eventually own the moon.

But--but it gets better,

because apparently
when Kasich's advisors asked

what Trump would be
in charge of,

the response was,
"Making America great again,"

which objectively
is not a job,

but I guess
it feels like one,

and it seems that's all
that f*cking matters now.

Now--now, the Trump family
disputed that story, naturally,

but it does often seem
like Trump is more interested

in attention than the hard work
of getting things done

in a complicated
political system.

Just last night,
he tweeted out

what seemed to be his main
takeaway from this convention.

[triumphant orchestral music]



Okay. Okay.

First, 24 out of 75 is 32%,
not 33, but that doesn't matter.

That clearly doesn't matter.

The point is--
look, the point--

the notion that Donald Trump
would be a hands-off president

might actually represent
the best-case scenario here.

The much more frightening
prospect would be

if he were hands-on,
because between

those 24 minutes of applause

was a symphony of bile
and race baiting.

Remember, this is the man
who has retaliated

against journalists
and, at various points,

has advocated
k*lling t*rrorists' families,

endorsed t*rture,
and expressed admiration

for leaders like Kim Jong-un,

S*ddam Hussein,
and Vladimir Putin.

His message this week
was the message

of every strong man ever.

"The world is dangerous,
and only I can make you safe."

And if that sounds scary,
there have been warning signs.

Just watch this DVD extra

from the first season
of "The Apprentice."

It's a--
it's a music video they made,

and it gives you a sense

of how Donald Trump
envisions himself.

man: ♪ sl*ve to the master

- This is a dictatorship,
and I'm the dictator.

man: ♪ sl*ve to the master

- There's no voting.
There's no jury.

man: ♪ sl*ve to the master

- ♪ Dictator, no jury

♪ D-d-dictator,
no jury ♪

- Oh, sure, it's--
it's funny now

to hear him say he's a dictator
as a voice in the background

says, "sl*ve to the master,"
over and over again,

but unless we're careful,
by this time next year,

that could be America's
new national anthem.

And now this.

male announcer: And now...

- What's up, GOP?

- I come from a long line
of lumberjacks.

- My dream was to be
a circus performer.

- I'm now an avocado grower.

- Who's proud to be
an American?

[cheers and applause]

- We don't apologize
for America.

We celebrate America.

- From the top to the bottom.

From the middle to the side.

- !sis is present
in all 50 states.

- Crooked Hillary Clinton,
leave this race now!

- A day in the life
of a coal miner

and a day in the life
of Hillary Clinton

could not be more different.

- Are we willing to elect
someone as president

who has as their role model

somebody who acknowledges
Lucifer?

- We have in our hands
the steering wheel

of one of America's political--
one of the one political party

in this country that at--
no matter whatever turn--

whether we turn bumpy roads--

but we're not going
to turn left.

We know that.

- Or as Larry the Cable Guy
would say,

"Let's git 'r done."

- Mr. Trump is America's
blue-collar billionaire.

- Is Donald Trump a messiah?

No.
He's just a man.

- A man I love
so, so, so, so much.

That's my father.

- Come January 17, all things
will be possible again.

- Visit YRNF.org
and dot...

And we will make America
great again.



- And finally this week--
[cheers and applause]

There--there were clearly--
[cheers and applause]

There were clearly
many mistakes

made at the RNC,
but I'd like to mention

just one more regarding
Donald Trump's choice of song

for his entrance
on Monday night.

Freddie Mercury:
♪ No time for losers

♪ 'Cause we are the champions

- Yes, that is Queen
being played

at the Republican
National Convention,

so it's with a heavy heart
that I announce

Freddie Mercury
dead again at age 69.

Now--now, Queen didn't give

Trump permission
to use that song,

tweeting it was,
"An unauthorized use

at the Republican Convention
against our wishes."

And yet,
on his closing night,

Trump used another unauthorized
song to cover him dropping

what was an almost sarcastic
amount of balloons,

and you will never
guess what song it was.

Mick Jagger: ♪ You can't always
get what you want ♪

- No shit.

But look, Trump has used
unauthorized music

throughout his campaign,
and if you think

"You Can't Always Get
What You Want"

was a bit on the nose,
just wait until you hear

what song he used
ahead of a speech he gave

on the Iran nuclear deal,

and just so you know,
this is real.

We did not alter the audio
at all.

woman: Businessman
Donald Trump!

Michael Stipe: ♪ It's the end
of the world as we know it ♪

♪ It's the end of the world
as we know it ♪

- I mean,
that is just too perfect.

Trump may as well have been
riding out on stage

with the three other horsemen
of the apocalypse.

And--and to be fair,
it is by no means

just Trump
who has angered musicians

by using their music
without permission.

Mike Huckabee
pissed off Survivor

by using "Eye of the Tiger,"

and Scott Walker
had this happen.

woman: After Wisconsin governor
Scott Walker used music

from the Dropkick Murphys,

they tweeted at him,
"We literally hate you."

- Look, they--they may be
angry Boston hooligans,

but I'll say this
about the Dropkick Murphys,

they know when to properly use
the word "literally."

And none of this
is anything new.

Politicians have been
appropriating pop music

for as long as anyone
can remember.

Over the years, Sarah Palin
has gotten in trouble

for using Heart's "Barracuda."

John McCain was asked to stop
using two John Mellencamp songs.

The DNC was criticized
by Cyndi Lauper

for using "True Colors,"

and perhaps most famously,

three decades ago,
there was this.

- Ronald Reagan used the song
"Born in the U.S.A." in 1984

for his reelection campaign
until Springsteen suggested

maybe he should listen
to the lyrics.

Springsteen actually
penned the tune

about the dark side
of the American story

and the harsh treatment
of Vietnam veterans.

- Now, to be fair to Reagan,
most people don't realize that.

I-I always assumed that,

like every other
Springsteen song,

it was about struggling
midnight heroes

and their barefoot lovers,
all named Mary,

who broke free of that
one-horsepower town on bikes,

chased by shadows.

But the point is--
the point here is--

if artists want to lend
their music to politicians,

that's fine,
but it is not okay

for politicians
to just take their songs.

This happens
every single election,

and it is time
for musicians to come together

and take a stand.

[upbeat rock music]



- ♪ It's that time of year

♪ Campaign season's here

- ♪ You'll wave and point
and make your speeches ♪

♪ While balloons
fall everywhere ♪

- ♪ But we notice
something's wrong ♪

♪ And it's gone on
way too long ♪

♪ So we're asking you
right now ♪

♪ Stop using our songs



[cheers and applause]

- ♪ As you turn on
your laser light show ♪

♪ Fire up your
confetti machine ♪

- ♪ Bring out your smile

♪ And backdrop
of "ethnically diverse teens" ♪

- ♪ Stop using our music

♪ That's our one and only rule

- ♪ We didn't write
these songs ♪

♪ To make your campaign stop
seem cool ♪

- ♪ Don't use our song

♪ 'Cause you use it wrong

- ♪ It might seem appealing

♪ But you're just stealing

- ♪ Don't use our song

♪ It just seems wrong

- ♪ By the time
this tune is through ♪

♪ You'll be lucky
if we don't sue ♪

- ♪ Don't use our song, no

That's licensing.

You got to call
my publisher, okay?

- ♪ You always take our music
out of context anyway ♪

- ♪ Why would Reagan be playing
"Born in the U.S.A."? ♪

both: ♪ It's about Vietnam

- ♪ Oh, thank you
for not paying me ♪

♪ That's a license
you didn't buy ♪

- ♪ If I wanted to sing
and not get paid ♪

♪ I'd be on Spotify

- ♪ Don't use our songs

- ♪ I mean, come on

- ♪ You knew we'd find out

♪ This is, like,
the sixth time now ♪

both: ♪ Don't use our song
- ♪ No, no

- ♪ 'Cause it's not...
both: ♪ Your song

- ♪ You're lucky we don't sue

♪ And what's the deal
with all those balloons? ♪

- ♪ Don't use our song

- ♪ Hey

- ♪ And just to be clearer

♪ You can't use
this song either ♪

- ♪ But here's one tune
we all agree ♪

♪ That you can use
anytime for free ♪

[atonal organ music]



[cheers and applause]

[rock music]

all: ♪ Don't use our song

- All right, come on, y'all.

- ♪ For real, come on

- ♪ Don't you use it

- ♪ You're lucky
if we don't sue ♪

- ♪ And what's the deal
with all those balloons? ♪

- ♪ Don't use our song

- ♪ Stop using my song

both:
♪ You won't sing it long

- ♪ Oh

both:
♪ It might seem appealing

- ♪ But you're just...

- ♪ Stealing

- ♪ Hey

all: ♪ Don't use our song

♪ You know it's wrong

- ♪ You know it's wrong

- ♪ The crowd might like it

♪ But you didn't write it

- ♪ You know who you are

♪ You know who you are

- ♪ Don't do it,
don't you do it ♪

all: ♪ It just seems wrong

- ♪ 'Cause you know
you're f*cking stealing ♪

all: ♪ Don't use our song

- ♪ Don't use my song,
no, no, no ♪

[cheers and applause]

- That's our show.

Thank you so much for watching.

See you next week.
Good night!

[upbeat rock music]

[cheers and applause]



[bright tone]
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