05x01 - Operation D.U.C.K.Y./Operation D.I.A.P.E.R.

[bunniefuu]

Gotta run.

Gotta run.

Gotta run.

[ Gasps ]

Give up, tommy.

- You are just delaying the - inevitable.

Gotta run some more!

Gotta run some more!

[ Whimpering ]

Run faster!

Run faster!

Aah!

Oof!

Oh!

[ Gasps ]

For the last time...

Get your grimy butt back home!

Mom says you've got to get in

The tub now!

- ]] But I don't wanna take a - bath.

Well, running away's not the

Way to deal with it.

And cover yourself up, for

Pete's sake.

Do you want everyone in the

World to see you naked or

Something?

[ Laughter, jeering ]

[ Chanting ] take a bath!

Take a bath!

Oh, man.

Take a bath!

- ]] I don't wanna, I don't - wanna, I don't wanna!

Well, you're gonna.

So, get in that tub now and

Don't you come out till you're

Sprinkly, sparkly clean!

Ohhhh.

I don't hear any splashing!

You had better be in that water,

Tommy gilligan.

Never!

So help me, if I have to come

In there, I'm gonna scrub you

- With a cheese grater, you little - munchkin!

Okay, grandma.

- Just don't come in... - Waah!

[ Laughs evilly ]

That's what I thought.

N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Aah!

[ Moaning ]

Are you okay, kid?

Speak to me, darn it!

[ Coughs ]

Ohhh.

Huh?

[ Sailors muttering ]

Where am i?

Why, you're on board the

S.s. Stinkypants.

[ Yodeling ] wah-hoo-hoo!

Go ahead.

Pull it.

[ Farts ]

[ All laughing ]

- ]] [ Imitating captain kirk ] - what's going on here?

Captain on the deck!

Why has the ship stopped?

We found another boy drifting

In the bathwater, sir.

He was almost...

Clean.

[ All gasp ]

But we got him out just in time.

Time?

Time is something we don't have,

Dr. Mudcoy.

She's right on our tail, and she

Will not rest until i,

Captain james p. Dirt, and all

Of you boys are squeaky clean!

Um, excuse me.

Who's "she"?

Who is "she"?

Who... Are... You?

I am the justice that brings

Justice to the justiceless kids

Needing justice!

I am the whisper that makes you

Say, "whoa. Nice hat."

I am the tommy!

[ Horn blares ]

[ Laughing ] hey, you can see

That kid's butt!

[ Laughter ]

♪ I see your heinie

♪ All white and shiny

All right, all right!

That'll do.

Jeez.

- What is the matter with you - boys, anyway?

Here, kid, cover yourself up.

I'm not running a nudist colony.

Mr. Slop, all crew members to

Stations.

- I don't want her catching up to - us.

Mr. Peeyoo, full speed ahead,

And steer clear of that fog of

Soap bubbles to port.

Hey!

You never told me who "she" is.

Maybe the tommy can help you

Defeat her.

Defeat her?

Oh, boy!

[ Squawks ]

You can't defeat her.

- You can only run from her, you - fool.

Ahoy, captain!

Thar she quacks!

Quaaaaack!

[ Gasps ]

Moby-duck!

Quaaaack!

All hands to

Run-like-cowards stations.

- Mr. Peeyoo, engage scaredy-cat - drive.

- Spotty, I need some warp-factor - run, now!

[ Scottish accent ] I'm

Giving her all I can, captain,

But it'll take at least five

Minutes to reach that speed!

What's the big deal?

It's just a big, dumb rubber...

Quaaack!

[ All yelling ]

Whoa!

Oh, help me!

I'm getting clean!

Quaaack!

Captain, she's swinging

Around for another att*ck!

- We can't take another hit like - that!

Quick!

Everybody hide!

[ All yelling ]

Oh, forget you guys.

Huh?

Tommy, what are you doing?

Seeing if a duck wants to

Play chicken.

Get it?

Duck... Chicken?

- [ Laughing ] - oh, wow.

I gotta tell hoagie that one.

Sweet mother of dirt!

He's gonna ram her!

We'll all be dunked in the

Bathwater!

[ All screaming ]

Quaaaaaaack!

Aaaaah!

[ Grunts ]

[ All yelling ]

Whoa!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Quaaaaaaaack!

Quaaaaack!

Quack.

Quaaaack.

[ Squeaks ]

[ Softly ] quaaack.

[ Rapid squeaking ]

I can't believe it.

You did it, tommy.

Oh, it was nothing.

Just another day saved by...

The tommy!

[ Horn blares ]

Cheeks ahoy!

[ Laughter ]

Ohh.

All right, already!

Can't you little mongrels laugh

At anything else?

Honestly.

You know, tommy, the senior

Officers and I are having dinner

In my cabin tonight.

Why don't you come along.

What do you say?

I'd say...

This stinks.

[ Laughter ]

How am I supposed to wash dishes

Without soap and water?

Soap and water?

Not on my ship, buster.

- Just dig in there with your - fingernails, and that chicken

Fat will rub right off.

Now, then, mr. Slop, enlighten

Us as to our tactical situation.

Less than ideal, captain.

Based on our course, it appears

Moby-duck is trying to force

This ship towards a dead end.

The other end of the tub?!

We'll be sucked down the great

Drain for sure if we go there!

Then it looks like the jig is

Up, boys.

There's just nowhere left to

Run.

So, don't run!

Well, walking's not gonna

Help us, kid.

I mean, don't run away!

My big brother once told me that

Running away isn't the way to

Deal with things.

So I say, let's not run from

That dumb duck.

Let's fight it instead!

Fight moby-duck?

He's crazy!

Let's throw him overboard!

Enough!

Tommy's right.

If we outsmarted that duck once,

Then, by all that's filthy, we

Can do it again.

And I'm tired of running,

Tired of waking up every day

Wondering if this is the day I'm

Scrubbed clean.

Well, no more.

Tomorrow...

We roast that duck!

Roast the duck!

Roast the duck!

[ Chanting ] roast the duck!

Roast the duck!

Roast the duck!

Roast the duck!

Quack!

Quaaaaaaaaaack!!

N-o-o-o-o-o-ow!

[ All yelling ]

Get the duck!

Take this, you miserable

Mallard!

Quaaaack!

Now, tommy!

Now, dr. Mudcoy!

Darn it, jim... I'm a doctor,

Not a duck hunter!

Just do it!

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

Quaack!

Quaaack!

Quack!

Quack, quaack!

[ All cheering ]

Quack!

Keep rowing, boys.

We'll send her down the great

Drain!

Not...

Without...

You!

[ Gasps ]

Muh-muh-muh...

Mom?

There's nowhere left to run,

Jimmy!

After 36 years, you are taking a

Bath if it's the last thing I

Do!

[ All screaming ]

No, mom!

No!

I don't wanna!

- [ Crying ] - ]] come on!

We've got to save the captain!

[ All yelling ]

Help me, tommy.

I don't want to be unstinky!

Row!

Row!

[ Grunting in unison ]

It's working!

Keep rowing!!

Oh, no, you don't!

[ Grunting ]

Hang... On!

[ Straining ]

[ All grunting ]

Hang...

Aah!

Hey, look... You can see

Tommy's tushy!

[ Laughter ]

♪ I see your heinie

♪ All bright and shiny

Knock it off, you imbeciles!

Keep rowing, or we're all

Doomed!

Looks like a full moon

Tonight!

[ Laughter ]

Ohh!

You, there!

You put some pants on this

Instant, young man!

Do you understand me?

Aah!

Aaaaaah!

N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

So warm and soapy-y-y-y-y-y!

[ Water bubbling ]

Now we're caught in the

Whirlpool!

Whoa!

Ohhhhhhhhh!

Aaaaaaah!

[ Whimpering ]

Tommy, what are you doing in

There?

You had better be washing, young

Man!

Never!!

[ Squeak ]

[ Squawks ]

You little runt!

Do I have to come in there?

It's okay, grandma.

I'm washing.

Just don't come in!

The tommy bathes alone!

Hah!

That's what I thought.

Kids next door... S.t.o.r.k.

Speedily transports operatives

Rescuing kiddies.

All right, team.

Listen up.

My suspicions have recently been

Confirmed... Babies don't just

Magically appear in hospitals.

They are systematically

Kidnapped by evil adults and

Then placed in so-called

Nurseries, where they're

Subjected to insidious

Experiments, turning them

Directly into adults and

Terminating their only chance at

Glorious childhood.

So, it's up to us to liberate

These babies from the insidious

Adult laboratories.

[ Humming ]

Wow!

Hold on, kids.

You can't just go...

Ohh!

Oh!

Dr. Lumpkins, line one.

[ All yelling ]

Hey, what's the...

[ Grunts ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunts ]

That does it for crowd control.

What's going on?

Numbuh 2, prepare for baby

Liberation in t-minus 10

Seconds.

Hello!

Get along, little babies!

Yee-haw!

Wheee!

[ Belches ]

[ Tires squeal ]

Oh, man!

Why do we have to put the stinky

Babies in my room?

We all have to make

Sacrifices in the w*r against

Adult tyranny, numbuh 4.

Oh, no, you didn't!

You guys actually went ahead and

Did that baby mission?

But they were kiddy-napped!

Those babies weren't

Kidnapped.

Well, except by you guys.

Babies are supposed to be in

Hospitals!

We don't need to hear any

More of your insane theories,

Numbuh 5.

Look.

My older brother has a couple of

Kids, and they were born in a

Hospital.

Besides, what are you gonna do

With a bunch of babies, anyway?

Well, once numbuh 2 finishes

Forging their new identities,

These babies will be set free

And integrated back into kid

Society.

That way, they'll be free to

Experience all the fun of

Kid-dom, instead of being a

sl*ve to the age-changing

Experiments of adults.

You really have no idea where

Babies come from, do you?

Of course I do.

They come from baby eggs.

All right, listen.

I'm gonna tell you straight up.

Babies come from...

[ Babies crying, screaming ]

Oh, nice, numbuh 5.

You've made them cry.

Me?

Fine.

You try and take care of them by

Yourself, then.

We will.

Won't we, guys?

Don't you understand?!

I said, "stop crying now"!

I can help.

I speak baby.

Dah-boo-geh-bah-dah.

Gah jah goo-goo bah-bah.

Gaga googoo.

Ooh!

Goo-goo gah goo.

Goo-gah-bah-goo-boo-dee.

Uh-huh.

Dah-dah-goojoogoo-boogah-dah.

Jackson says he wants to play

With my i-smell-a-stinky

Rainbow monkey.

And something about rubbing tuna

Fish under his armpits.

[ Babies crying ]

Come on, babies!

Stop crying, please!

Look!

I'm dancing around like a moron.

Take this candy and pipe

Down, kid!

What do you mean, "grape"?

You said you wanted root beer.

Come on, come on!

Where are the batteries in these

Things?

Give me that.

Shh.

It's okay, little baby.

♪ Hush, my baby

♪ Don't cry a peep

♪ The moon's in the sky

♪ Let's count the sheep

♪ One, two, three, four

♪ I said, hush, shush,

Shhh, snore ♪

♪ Not wah, blah, rah, or roar

♪ One, two, three, four

♪ I said, hush, shush,

Shhh, snore ♪

♪ One, two, three, four

♪ Sleep tight, not a sound

♪ Till morn

Well, looks like you have

Everything under control here,

So I'll just go see how

Numbuh 2 is doing on those

Papers for the babies.

And I've got to find my

I-smell-a-stinky rainbow monkey.

And I've got to go... Do...

Something...

Uh, not here!

Waah!

Huh.

I need to get you kids back to

Your mamas in the hospital

Before they wake up in the

Morning.

But numbuh 1 would k*ll me if I

Went against orders.

Hmmm.

Aww, they're so cute,

Numbuh 2!

Yeah, the babies will go

Totally undetected, and they can

Drive!

Holy crud!

The brats... They're gone!

It's numbuh 5.

She's taking them back to the

Hospital.

Quick... To the hangar!

There they are!

But where's numbuh 5?

I bet she fled.

I never realized she was such a

Superduper big stinking pile of

Treason.

Numbuh 1!

You shouldn't speak like that in

Front of the babies.

What's the big deal?

They can't understand anyway.

No, she's right.

You really should watch your

Language.

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ All gasp ]

Blah, blah, bluh, blah!

Buh, buh, ah-wuh-wuh-wah.

Numbuh 5 says she wants her

Eggs cooked over easy.

All right, you shrimp.

- What happened to numbuh 5's - teeth?

Isn't it obvious, sherlock?

Us babies can't eat real food or

Talk, but with teeth, we can end

All that!

And we have you to thank for

Liberating us!

[ Chuckles evilly ]

Soon, ankle-biters everywhere

Will no longer be treated like

Babies, and we will no longer

Tolerate baby talk from stupid

Adults like you!

[ Cackles evilly ]

[ Splash ]

[ Squish ]

Pardon me.

Ankle-biters...

Battle stations!

- [ Tires squeal ] - ]] incoming formula!

[ Grunts ]

Kids next door, battle sta...

Ohh!

Way ahead of you, numbuh 1.

Let's put these babies to bed.

Not before their spanking,

Numbuh 2.

[ All yelling ]

Ohhh!

Who's a good baby?

You are!

Numbuh 3!

Look out!

Aaaah!

[ Gasps ]

I'll save you, baby!

Ohh!

N-o-o-o-o-o!

Hang on, numbuh 5.

[ Grunting ]

Only a matter of time before

I catch you, twerp.

And you're gonna be crying to

Your mama when I do!

Whoa!

Baby-drool slick!

Wah!

- [ Crash ] - aah!

No!

Get off!

[ Groaning ]

All right.

Where'd that baby go?

- [ Farting ] - aah!

I'm hit!

Everything's going stinky!

I'm coming, baby!

- [ Grunts ] - phew.

That was close, wasn't it?

Oof!

Huh?

Oooh...

[ Chuckles ]

Blah, blah, bah-bah!

Blah, blah, bah-bah-bah!

Are you trying to apologize

For disobeying orders?

Mnh-mnh.

Bah-bah-bah bahh!

Time for your checkup,

Chrome-dome.

Your teammates have already

Given to the tooth fairy.

Now, hand over those pearly

Whites!

Whoa!

Now I'm angry.

Ankle-biters, assemble!

Bluh, boo, blahhh!

- ]] Look, this is no time for - charades.

- We need a pl... - Waaah!

Numbuh 5, what are you doing?

[ Alarm rings ]

Numbuh 5, is this really an

Appropriate time for milkshakes?

Now I get it.

Rock the babies to sleep.

Oh, that's brilli...

Whoa!

He-e-e-e-re's jackson!

Any more brilliant ideas?

Hey! What are you...

Ploo! Plech!

A microphone?

♪ Bah bah, bah bah,

Bah-bah-bah-bah ♪

Bleh blah boh!

Me?

Sing?

Uh, no.

No, I don't sing.

Aaah, oh-ohh!

Uh... Uh...

[ Off-key ] ♪ hush, my baby

♪ Don't cry a peep

♪ The moon's in the sky

♪ Let's count the sheep

[ Feedback ]

♪ One, two, three, four

♪ Hush, shoosh, shhh, snore

♪ I said, hush, shoosh,

Shush, snore ♪

♪ Hush, shush, shoosh, snore

♪ Shush! Hush!

♪ Sn-o-o-ore

- ]] [ Snoring ] - ]] i-i did it!

Hah-hah!

- Come on, you want to hear some - more?

Uh...

♪ Hush, shush, shoosh, snore

See?

I made them fall asleep right on

The floor.

They're not sleeping,

Rock-tonsils!

Your lousy singing knocked them

Out!

Oh, come on, numbuh 5.

One more song.

[ Babies yelling ]

[ Thudding ]

[ Tires screech ]

[ Babies wailing ]

So, numbuh 1...

What did you call me earlier?

A superduper stinking pile

Of...

[ Laughs nervously ]

Well, um, uh, so, numbuh 5,

Why don't you finally tell us...

Where do babies come from?

You guys really want to know?

[ Laughing ] okay.

Get this...

Babies come from...



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

Ugggggh!

Ohhh!

Eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww!

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

Wait a second.

That's preposterous!

Babies don't come from

New jersey!

They come from philadelphia.