Gotta run.
Gotta run.
Gotta run.
[ Gasps ]
Give up, tommy.
- You are just delaying the - inevitable.
Gotta run some more!
Gotta run some more!
[ Whimpering ]
Run faster!
Run faster!
Aah!
Oof!
Oh!
[ Gasps ]
For the last time...
Get your grimy butt back home!
Mom says you've got to get in
The tub now!
- ]] But I don't wanna take a - bath.
Well, running away's not the
Way to deal with it.
And cover yourself up, for
Pete's sake.
Do you want everyone in the
World to see you naked or
Something?
[ Laughter, jeering ]
[ Chanting ] take a bath!
Take a bath!
Oh, man.
Take a bath!
- ]] I don't wanna, I don't - wanna, I don't wanna!
Well, you're gonna.
So, get in that tub now and
Don't you come out till you're
Sprinkly, sparkly clean!
Ohhhh.
I don't hear any splashing!
You had better be in that water,
Tommy gilligan.
Never!
So help me, if I have to come
In there, I'm gonna scrub you
- With a cheese grater, you little - munchkin!
Okay, grandma.
- Just don't come in... - Waah!
[ Laughs evilly ]
That's what I thought.
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Aah!
[ Moaning ]
Are you okay, kid?
Speak to me, darn it!
[ Coughs ]
Ohhh.
Huh?
[ Sailors muttering ]
Where am i?
Why, you're on board the
S.s. Stinkypants.
[ Yodeling ] wah-hoo-hoo!
Go ahead.
Pull it.
[ Farts ]
[ All laughing ]
- ]] [ Imitating captain kirk ] - what's going on here?
Captain on the deck!
Why has the ship stopped?
We found another boy drifting
In the bathwater, sir.
He was almost...
Clean.
[ All gasp ]
But we got him out just in time.
Time?
Time is something we don't have,
Dr. Mudcoy.
She's right on our tail, and she
Will not rest until i,
Captain james p. Dirt, and all
Of you boys are squeaky clean!
Um, excuse me.
Who's "she"?
Who is "she"?
Who... Are... You?
I am the justice that brings
Justice to the justiceless kids
Needing justice!
I am the whisper that makes you
Say, "whoa. Nice hat."
I am the tommy!
[ Horn blares ]
[ Laughing ] hey, you can see
That kid's butt!
[ Laughter ]
♪ I see your heinie
♪ All white and shiny
All right, all right!
That'll do.
Jeez.
- What is the matter with you - boys, anyway?
Here, kid, cover yourself up.
I'm not running a nudist colony.
Mr. Slop, all crew members to
Stations.
- I don't want her catching up to - us.
Mr. Peeyoo, full speed ahead,
And steer clear of that fog of
Soap bubbles to port.
Hey!
You never told me who "she" is.
Maybe the tommy can help you
Defeat her.
Defeat her?
Oh, boy!
[ Squawks ]
You can't defeat her.
- You can only run from her, you - fool.
Ahoy, captain!
Thar she quacks!
Quaaaaack!
[ Gasps ]
Moby-duck!
Quaaaack!
All hands to
Run-like-cowards stations.
- Mr. Peeyoo, engage scaredy-cat - drive.
- Spotty, I need some warp-factor - run, now!
[ Scottish accent ] I'm
Giving her all I can, captain,
But it'll take at least five
Minutes to reach that speed!
What's the big deal?
It's just a big, dumb rubber...
Quaaack!
[ All yelling ]
Whoa!
Oh, help me!
I'm getting clean!
Quaaack!
Captain, she's swinging
Around for another att*ck!
- We can't take another hit like - that!
Quick!
Everybody hide!
[ All yelling ]
Oh, forget you guys.
Huh?
Tommy, what are you doing?
Seeing if a duck wants to
Play chicken.
Get it?
Duck... Chicken?
- [ Laughing ] - oh, wow.
I gotta tell hoagie that one.
Sweet mother of dirt!
He's gonna ram her!
We'll all be dunked in the
Bathwater!
[ All screaming ]
Quaaaaaaack!
Aaaaah!
[ Grunts ]
[ All yelling ]
Whoa!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Quaaaaaaaack!
Quaaaaack!
Quack.
Quaaaack.
[ Squeaks ]
[ Softly ] quaaack.
[ Rapid squeaking ]
I can't believe it.
You did it, tommy.
Oh, it was nothing.
Just another day saved by...
The tommy!
[ Horn blares ]
Cheeks ahoy!
[ Laughter ]
Ohh.
All right, already!
Can't you little mongrels laugh
At anything else?
Honestly.
You know, tommy, the senior
Officers and I are having dinner
In my cabin tonight.
Why don't you come along.
What do you say?
I'd say...
This stinks.
[ Laughter ]
How am I supposed to wash dishes
Without soap and water?
Soap and water?
Not on my ship, buster.
- Just dig in there with your - fingernails, and that chicken
Fat will rub right off.
Now, then, mr. Slop, enlighten
Us as to our tactical situation.
Less than ideal, captain.
Based on our course, it appears
Moby-duck is trying to force
This ship towards a dead end.
The other end of the tub?!
We'll be sucked down the great
Drain for sure if we go there!
Then it looks like the jig is
Up, boys.
There's just nowhere left to
Run.
So, don't run!
Well, walking's not gonna
Help us, kid.
I mean, don't run away!
My big brother once told me that
Running away isn't the way to
Deal with things.
So I say, let's not run from
That dumb duck.
Let's fight it instead!
Fight moby-duck?
He's crazy!
Let's throw him overboard!
Enough!
Tommy's right.
If we outsmarted that duck once,
Then, by all that's filthy, we
Can do it again.
And I'm tired of running,
Tired of waking up every day
Wondering if this is the day I'm
Scrubbed clean.
Well, no more.
Tomorrow...
We roast that duck!
Roast the duck!
Roast the duck!
[ Chanting ] roast the duck!
Roast the duck!
Roast the duck!
Roast the duck!
Quack!
Quaaaaaaaaaack!!
N-o-o-o-o-o-ow!
[ All yelling ]
Get the duck!
Take this, you miserable
Mallard!
Quaaaack!
Now, tommy!
Now, dr. Mudcoy!
Darn it, jim... I'm a doctor,
Not a duck hunter!
Just do it!
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
Quaack!
Quaaack!
Quack!
Quack, quaack!
[ All cheering ]
Quack!
Keep rowing, boys.
We'll send her down the great
Drain!
Not...
Without...
You!
[ Gasps ]
Muh-muh-muh...
Mom?
There's nowhere left to run,
Jimmy!
After 36 years, you are taking a
Bath if it's the last thing I
Do!
[ All screaming ]
No, mom!
No!
I don't wanna!
- [ Crying ] - ]] come on!
We've got to save the captain!
[ All yelling ]
Help me, tommy.
I don't want to be unstinky!
Row!
Row!
[ Grunting in unison ]
It's working!
Keep rowing!!
Oh, no, you don't!
[ Grunting ]
Hang... On!
[ Straining ]
[ All grunting ]
Hang...
Aah!
Hey, look... You can see
Tommy's tushy!
[ Laughter ]
♪ I see your heinie
♪ All bright and shiny
Knock it off, you imbeciles!
Keep rowing, or we're all
Doomed!
Looks like a full moon
Tonight!
[ Laughter ]
Ohh!
You, there!
You put some pants on this
Instant, young man!
Do you understand me?
Aah!
Aaaaaah!
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
So warm and soapy-y-y-y-y-y!
[ Water bubbling ]
Now we're caught in the
Whirlpool!
Whoa!
Ohhhhhhhhh!
Aaaaaaah!
[ Whimpering ]
Tommy, what are you doing in
There?
You had better be washing, young
Man!
Never!!
[ Squeak ]
[ Squawks ]
You little runt!
Do I have to come in there?
It's okay, grandma.
I'm washing.
Just don't come in!
The tommy bathes alone!
Hah!
That's what I thought.
Kids next door... S.t.o.r.k.
Speedily transports operatives
Rescuing kiddies.
All right, team.
Listen up.
My suspicions have recently been
Confirmed... Babies don't just
Magically appear in hospitals.
They are systematically
Kidnapped by evil adults and
Then placed in so-called
Nurseries, where they're
Subjected to insidious
Experiments, turning them
Directly into adults and
Terminating their only chance at
Glorious childhood.
So, it's up to us to liberate
These babies from the insidious
Adult laboratories.
[ Humming ]
Wow!
Hold on, kids.
You can't just go...
Ohh!
Oh!
Dr. Lumpkins, line one.
[ All yelling ]
Hey, what's the...
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunts ]
That does it for crowd control.
What's going on?
Numbuh 2, prepare for baby
Liberation in t-minus 10
Seconds.
Hello!
Get along, little babies!
Yee-haw!
Wheee!
[ Belches ]
[ Tires squeal ]
Oh, man!
Why do we have to put the stinky
Babies in my room?
We all have to make
Sacrifices in the w*r against
Adult tyranny, numbuh 4.
Oh, no, you didn't!
You guys actually went ahead and
Did that baby mission?
But they were kiddy-napped!
Those babies weren't
Kidnapped.
Well, except by you guys.
Babies are supposed to be in
Hospitals!
We don't need to hear any
More of your insane theories,
Numbuh 5.
Look.
My older brother has a couple of
Kids, and they were born in a
Hospital.
Besides, what are you gonna do
With a bunch of babies, anyway?
Well, once numbuh 2 finishes
Forging their new identities,
These babies will be set free
And integrated back into kid
Society.
That way, they'll be free to
Experience all the fun of
Kid-dom, instead of being a
sl*ve to the age-changing
Experiments of adults.
You really have no idea where
Babies come from, do you?
Of course I do.
They come from baby eggs.
All right, listen.
I'm gonna tell you straight up.
Babies come from...
[ Babies crying, screaming ]
Oh, nice, numbuh 5.
You've made them cry.
Me?
Fine.
You try and take care of them by
Yourself, then.
We will.
Won't we, guys?
Don't you understand?!
I said, "stop crying now"!
I can help.
I speak baby.
Dah-boo-geh-bah-dah.
Gah jah goo-goo bah-bah.
Gaga googoo.
Ooh!
Goo-goo gah goo.
Goo-gah-bah-goo-boo-dee.
Uh-huh.
Dah-dah-goojoogoo-boogah-dah.
Jackson says he wants to play
With my i-smell-a-stinky
Rainbow monkey.
And something about rubbing tuna
Fish under his armpits.
[ Babies crying ]
Come on, babies!
Stop crying, please!
Look!
I'm dancing around like a moron.
Take this candy and pipe
Down, kid!
What do you mean, "grape"?
You said you wanted root beer.
Come on, come on!
Where are the batteries in these
Things?
Give me that.
Shh.
It's okay, little baby.
♪ Hush, my baby
♪ Don't cry a peep
♪ The moon's in the sky
♪ Let's count the sheep
♪ One, two, three, four
♪ I said, hush, shush,
Shhh, snore ♪
♪ Not wah, blah, rah, or roar
♪ One, two, three, four
♪ I said, hush, shush,
Shhh, snore ♪
♪ One, two, three, four
♪ Sleep tight, not a sound
♪ Till morn
Well, looks like you have
Everything under control here,
So I'll just go see how
Numbuh 2 is doing on those
Papers for the babies.
And I've got to find my
I-smell-a-stinky rainbow monkey.
And I've got to go... Do...
Something...
Uh, not here!
Waah!
Huh.
I need to get you kids back to
Your mamas in the hospital
Before they wake up in the
Morning.
But numbuh 1 would k*ll me if I
Went against orders.
Hmmm.
Aww, they're so cute,
Numbuh 2!
Yeah, the babies will go
Totally undetected, and they can
Drive!
Holy crud!
The brats... They're gone!
It's numbuh 5.
She's taking them back to the
Hospital.
Quick... To the hangar!
There they are!
But where's numbuh 5?
I bet she fled.
I never realized she was such a
Superduper big stinking pile of
Treason.
Numbuh 1!
You shouldn't speak like that in
Front of the babies.
What's the big deal?
They can't understand anyway.
No, she's right.
You really should watch your
Language.
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ All gasp ]
Blah, blah, bluh, blah!
Buh, buh, ah-wuh-wuh-wah.
Numbuh 5 says she wants her
Eggs cooked over easy.
All right, you shrimp.
- What happened to numbuh 5's - teeth?
Isn't it obvious, sherlock?
Us babies can't eat real food or
Talk, but with teeth, we can end
All that!
And we have you to thank for
Liberating us!
[ Chuckles evilly ]
Soon, ankle-biters everywhere
Will no longer be treated like
Babies, and we will no longer
Tolerate baby talk from stupid
Adults like you!
[ Cackles evilly ]
[ Splash ]
[ Squish ]
Pardon me.
Ankle-biters...
Battle stations!
- [ Tires squeal ] - ]] incoming formula!
[ Grunts ]
Kids next door, battle sta...
Ohh!
Way ahead of you, numbuh 1.
Let's put these babies to bed.
Not before their spanking,
Numbuh 2.
[ All yelling ]
Ohhh!
Who's a good baby?
You are!
Numbuh 3!
Look out!
Aaaah!
[ Gasps ]
I'll save you, baby!
Ohh!
N-o-o-o-o-o!
Hang on, numbuh 5.
[ Grunting ]
Only a matter of time before
I catch you, twerp.
And you're gonna be crying to
Your mama when I do!
Whoa!
Baby-drool slick!
Wah!
- [ Crash ] - aah!
No!
Get off!
[ Groaning ]
All right.
Where'd that baby go?
- [ Farting ] - aah!
I'm hit!
Everything's going stinky!
I'm coming, baby!
- [ Grunts ] - phew.
That was close, wasn't it?
Oof!
Huh?
Oooh...
[ Chuckles ]
Blah, blah, bah-bah!
Blah, blah, bah-bah-bah!
Are you trying to apologize
For disobeying orders?
Mnh-mnh.
Bah-bah-bah bahh!
Time for your checkup,
Chrome-dome.
Your teammates have already
Given to the tooth fairy.
Now, hand over those pearly
Whites!
Whoa!
Now I'm angry.
Ankle-biters, assemble!
Bluh, boo, blahhh!
- ]] Look, this is no time for - charades.
- We need a pl... - Waaah!
Numbuh 5, what are you doing?
[ Alarm rings ]
Numbuh 5, is this really an
Appropriate time for milkshakes?
Now I get it.
Rock the babies to sleep.
Oh, that's brilli...
Whoa!
He-e-e-e-re's jackson!
Any more brilliant ideas?
Hey! What are you...
Ploo! Plech!
A microphone?
♪ Bah bah, bah bah,
Bah-bah-bah-bah ♪
Bleh blah boh!
Me?
Sing?
Uh, no.
No, I don't sing.
Aaah, oh-ohh!
Uh... Uh...
[ Off-key ] ♪ hush, my baby
♪ Don't cry a peep
♪ The moon's in the sky
♪ Let's count the sheep
[ Feedback ]
♪ One, two, three, four
♪ Hush, shoosh, shhh, snore
♪ I said, hush, shoosh,
Shush, snore ♪
♪ Hush, shush, shoosh, snore
♪ Shush! Hush!
♪ Sn-o-o-ore
- ]] [ Snoring ] - ]] i-i did it!
Hah-hah!
- Come on, you want to hear some - more?
Uh...
♪ Hush, shush, shoosh, snore
See?
I made them fall asleep right on
The floor.
They're not sleeping,
Rock-tonsils!
Your lousy singing knocked them
Out!
Oh, come on, numbuh 5.
One more song.
[ Babies yelling ]
[ Thudding ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Babies wailing ]
So, numbuh 1...
What did you call me earlier?
A superduper stinking pile
Of...
[ Laughs nervously ]
Well, um, uh, so, numbuh 5,
Why don't you finally tell us...
Where do babies come from?
You guys really want to know?
[ Laughing ] okay.
Get this...
Babies come from...
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
[ Electric guitar solo ]
Ugggggh!
Ohhh!
Eww, eww, eww, eww, eww, eww!
♪ Kids next door
♪ Kids next door
[ Electric guitar solo ]
Wait a second.
That's preposterous!
Babies don't come from
New jersey!
They come from philadelphia.
05x01 - Operation D.U.C.K.Y./Operation D.I.A.P.E.R.
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Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.
Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.