01x06 - Jet-X

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Aah!
- Aah!

[thudding]

- Oh, look.
It's raining dorks.

- Oh.

- We forgot to set the alarm!

We're gonna be late for class!

- What time is it?
- It's ten till 8:00!

- We can't make it to class
in ten minutes!

- We have to! Mr. Bender said
if we're late for class

one more time, we're gonna get
a zero for the day!

- Come on, we gotta hurry!

[rock music]

WOMEN:
♪ Put me in the spotlight ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ It's been
a permanent midnight ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Dim all the blacklights ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ It's been
a permanent midnight ♪

- Time?
- Six minutes!

- We're not gonna make it!

[dialing]

[cell phone rings]

- Ya got me.
- Chase! You have to make

Mr. Bender late for class.
- Why?

- Because we're gonna
be late.

- And we can't afford
a zero!

ZOEY: Please, Chase?

- Okay, calm down.

I'll make sure Bender's
late to class.

- You rock!

- I rock.

- Eh, you're okay.

WOMEN: ♪ Oh... ♪

♪ It's been
a permanent midnight ♪

♪ Permanent midnight ♪

MICHAEL: What?
- Mr. Bender's coming.

Uh...
Beat me up.

- One more time?

- If we're fighting,

he'll have to stop
and break it up.

- Okay, man.

- Don't punch me!

- But you said
to beat you up.

- Just tackle me. Hurry!
- All right.

- Aah!
- You're a bad person!

- Agh!
- Hey!

Hey! Cut it out! Stop!

Okay, come on! Get up! Stop it!

WOMEN: ♪ It's been
a permanent midnight ♪

- Guys, stop it.
Get up. Come on.

What is going on here?

- Um, he...

He said that
I have bushy hair.

- How much time?
- One minute!

- The bushiness of my hair
is none of your concern!

- You've got bushy hair
and you know it!

- Stop it.
Okay, okay.

All right! Stop.
Enough. Stop it.

- Bush.
- No more. Stop.

Now, Chase, your hair
is unusually bushy.

And, Michael,
the bushiness of his hair

is none of your business.

Now, just shake hands
and apologize

before we're all late
for class.

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

- Okay.

WOMEN: ♪ Permanent midnight ♪

♪ Permanent midnight ♪

[bell rings]

- Good morning.

- You're late.

- No. We were here, like,
ten minutes ago.

Right, Dana?

- Yeah, ten minutes ago.

- Morning, class.

Sorry I'm late.

- Our fault.

- Okay, class,
now, we all know that

the most important goal
in media is...what?

- To communicate a message.

- That's right.

So how is it
that companies make sure

that people know about
their products?

- Advertising?

- Advertising.

Today, in order to learn
about advertising,

we are going to have
a very special guest speaker...

[engine revs]

And judging by that sound,

I think he's here!

[horn honks]

Students, I want you to meet
my very best friend

from college,
Mr. Jake Savage.

- Who wants this bike?

[all murmuring]

Well, tough turtles.
It's mine.

But you can win one of these
if you want to.

All you gotta do
is ask me how.

You, the kid
with the bushy hair.

- Uh...how?

- Son, you don't ask how
until you know what.

Dude,
do you know what this is?

- Some sort of scooter?

- Eehh! Wrong!

- Sorry.

- This,
my adolescent friends...

is the Jet X.

[honks]

I honk for emphasis.

- So what's a Jet X?

- I'm glad you asked that,
little blonde girl.

The Jet X is the absolute latest
technological advancement

in two-wheeled vehicular
technology.

It's fast, it's tough,
it's smooth,

and above all, it's cool.

You, the kid
with the hippie shirt,

you want a Jet X?

- Uh, yeah!
- Too bad!

They're not available in stores
till next year.

[laughter]

Yes, petite brunette.

- Um, so why are you here?

- I happen to be
the president

of Qualitech Industries.

- Qualitech?
- Yeah, we make stuff.

Scooters, shampoos,
various cheeses.

Mostly scooters.

- So what does this
have to do with us?

- Okay, there are three things
that you need

to sell an awesome product
like the Jet X.

First, you gotta have
great hair.

I got that.

Next, you need to have
a great product.

[imitates sizzle]
I got that too.

Now, who can tell me
what else you need

to sell the Jet X?

- A TV commercial?

- Yes!

And I want you people,
this class,

to make that TV commercial.

[all murmuring]

- But don't they have
companies that, like, do that?

- Yes,
and they're all idiots.

Because they think they
understand people your age.

But they don't.

Do you know who does
get people your age?

- People our age?

- Bingo, little girl!

I'd ask you to dance,
but I don't know how.

- Wait, so is this gonna be
like a class project?

- That's right.

You guys are gonna split
into groups of three.

Each group will have their own
digital video camera

and a supply of Jet X scooters
in various colors.

- Oh, dude.
ALL: Whoa!

- Okay, you've all got
one week

to sh**t a TV commercial

that shows teenagers
why the Jet X...

Is the ultimate scooter
on this planet.

And then, I'm gonna pick
the best commercial,

and I'm gonna run it on TV


[all murmuring]

Oh, and one more thing.

Each kid in the winning group

will receive
their very own Jet X

for free.

- Oh, nice.
- Dude.

- Awesome.

- Just not this one,
'cause like I said...

this one's mine.

[engine revs]

Savage out!

[engine revving]

Whoo-hoo!
[horn honks]

- Okay, we have got to win
a Jet X.

- Totally! Can you imagine
how fun it would be

to have those things on campus?

- So what's our commercial
gonna be?

- Okay, I've been thinking,
what we could--

MICHAEL: Hi. What's up?

- Go ahead.
Keep on talkin'.

- Ha-ha. Nice try, guys.

- We don't reveal our secrets
to the competition.

- Ooh.

- So who's your guys'
third partner?

- That'd be Logan.

- Logan?

- Why do you wanna work
with him?

- Because, you know,
he's our roommate, and--

- Hey, hey. Guys.

We don't talk to the enemy.

- Oh, please, this is just
a friendly competition.

- Yeah,
it's just a commercial.

- Hey, all I know is,
I want that Jet X.

So...
we are gonna win.

- He's touching
our shoulders.

- I feel you.
- Don't worry.

I'll let you borrow my Jet X
after our commercial wins.

- Or I'll give you a ride
on my Jet X.

Maybe I'll take you up the lake
and...

we can make out a little.

- You know, I would,

but it's so hard
for a girl to kiss a guy

while she's vomiting.

[laughter]

- It's true.

It happened to me.

- Okay, now, I feel that
the clothes for our commercial

should be really cool--
like funky.

- I'm down with funky.

- Okay,
so I sketched out a few

possible outfit combinations.

See?

- Cool, but how do we buy
these clothes?

- How do we buy these boobs?

- Yeah, I went a little
overboard on those.

- You can put everything
right over here by the grass.

Whoa, Chase,

careful with that camera.

It's worth more
than your parents' house.

- This thing isn't worth
more than my parents' house.

- It's a half a million dollars.

- This thing's worth more
than my parents' house.

- I think that's worth
more than your parents.

- Okay, boys, more work,
less yap.

- Yeah, why aren't you lugging
any of this stuff?

- Because I am the director.

My job is to direct.

- Oh, right.

- I got something
for you to direct.

- I heard that.

Will somebody bring me
a sandwich?

- Okay, what is
all this stuff?

- Just a little production
equipment,

donated by Malcolm Reese.

- Malcolm Reese?

- The movie producer?

- And he's also my dad.

Hey, that generator is not gonna
move itself.

Let's move!

- So your dad just gave you
all this stuff

to make your Jet X commercial?

- No, no, no, no, no.

He didn't give it to me.

He lent it to me.

Where's my jib?

I can't get cool shots
without a jib!

- He gets to use all this
stuff.

- It's not fair.

- So not fair.

- Well, you know what?

I'll just ask my dad to donate
stuff for our commercial.

- Your dad's a producer too?

- No.
He owns a juice company.

Well, we're gonna get thirsty!

We will.

- His father lent him

a whole truck full of equipment?

- And a crew!

- And a camera that's bigger
than my head!

- How can our commercial win

if we have to compete with that?

- It's not fair.

All we get is free juice.

- Juice?

- It's excellent juice!

My favorite's
the kiwi pineapple.

- [intrigued] Kiwi pineapple?

- Will you forget
about the juice?

And what are you gonna do
about Logan?

- Girls,

when you're making
a TV commercial

or a movie or whatever,

it's not just about how fancy
your equipment is

or how much money you spend.

The only thing that matters

is your creativity
and your content.

- I guess.

- Yeah, at the end
of the day,

I guess it's all about
what you put on the screen.

- Exactly.

- Hey, Mr. Bender.

I just wanted you to meet
a good friend of my dad's.

- Jeff Garrett?

[all gasp]

You're Jeff Garrett!

- Nice to see ya.
- Hey! Wow!

Oh!
I've seen all your movies.

- Thanks a lot.

- Yeah. Cool. Yeah.

- Jeff's gonna star
in my TV commercial,

'cause, you know,
at the end of the day,

it's all about what you put
on the screen.

Right, girls?

- [scoffs]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Do you see Logan?

- Yeah, there he is.

- And action.

- How does his commercial
look?

- Impressive.

- How does Jeff Garrett
look?

[engine revving]

- More impressive.

- Ooh, give me those!

- Jet X. Get one.

LOGAN: And cut!

That looked awesome, Jeff.

Nice stuff.
Nice.

- Thanks, thanks.
- I gotta say about that--

That was amazing.
- Yeah. That was real cool.

- Please...
don't talk to Jeff.

[scoffs]

- And rolling.

- Action!

- Wow!
Is that a motorcycle?

- No.

- Is it a scooter?

- No.
It's a Jet X!

- A Jet X?

- Right.

BOTH: Jet X!

- And cut.
Did you get that?

- I think so.

Hey, how do you turn
this camera off?

It's different from mine.

- How should I know?
You're the geek.

- True.

- How'd it look?
- Come on.

Do you guys really think
that this

is gonna beat Logan's
commercial?

- Why do you hate
my script so much?

- Because it doesn't tell you

what the Jet X is really about.

- Yeah, it does.
The Jet X represents

freedom and independence.

You know, being able to go
wherever, whenever.

- Well, to me, the Jet X
is all about being cool

and getting noticed.

- Well, trying to get noticed
is un-cool.

- Okay, then, Ms. Cool,

why don't you tell us
what the commercial should be?

- Well, I think the Jet X
is all about speed.

- Speed?
- Yeah.

Like, "I'm in a hurry,
so get outta my way."

- Oh, so the Jet X
is all about being rude.

- No, it's about
being in control.

- You're just jealous 'cause
my dad owns a juice company!

- What?
- What?

- Well, I don't know
what to say!

- I know!
I read your script!

- Dana, stop it.

- Maybe I should just make
my own commercial.

- Oh, I'd love to see that.

- You will! On TV!

See ya!

- Why'd you have to go
and tick off our director?

- Why do you always
have to take her side?

- I always take your side!

- You didn't defend my script!

- 'Cause it's lame!
- Fine.

I'll just make
my own commercial!

- Fine! I will too!

- Good luck!

- Look, I found
the off button.

See?

I'll walk away.

- [stammers]
Okay, that's enough wind!

- No. I think we need more!

[rock music]

♪ ♪

Sorry.

And...action!

- Aah! Aah!
[horn honking]

[clattering and crashing]

- Action!

- Ta-da!

QUINN: Zoey!

Zoey! Oh!

- Action!

- The Jet X.

LOGAN: And cut it.

Perfect.

Perfect.

CHASE:
Man, that was so great.

I mean, wow, seriously.

[game chattering, beeping]

MAN: Twirl! Spin! Turn!

Whack! Whack! Twirl!

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How's your commercial going?

- [blows raspberry]

- Ah. Bummer.

- Yeah.
How's your commercial going?

- You mean Logan's
commercial?

[blows raspberry]

- You just spit on me.

- Sorry.

It's just that Logan thinks

he can do whatever he wants
just because

his daddy paid
for the whole thing.

- Well, you should tell him
that money doesn't give him

a right to push people around.

- Oh, I did!
- And?

- He gave me 50 bucks
to shut up.

[relaxed music]

♪ ♪

- What's up?

Okay.

- So...

How's your commercial going?

- Um, great.
Really good.

Yours?

- Mine?
Oh, amazing.

Like, insanely good.

So good, it's not...
sane.

- Nice.

- Yeah.

- Well, mine rocks.

- Look, I got nothing.

- Nothing?

- Nothing.

- Yeah, me neither.

- Mine's so awful,
it made me cry!

I mean, I actually cried!

You know how bad a commercial
has to be to make you cry?

- Yes.
- Yep.

- We were so dumb.

How did we think we could
do this on our own?

- 'Cause we're idiots.

- And now we have to spend
the rest of our lives

at PCA watching Logan
ride around campus

on his stupid Jet X.

- I want a Jet X!
We deserve them!

We'd look so much cuter
on Jet Xs than Logan!

- Well, you can
kiss that dream good-bye.

- Not necessarily.

- You have an idea?
Tell me!

I love your ideas!

If your ideas were boys,
I would marry them!

- Okay. It's 11:00,
so we still have

ten more hours
till class starts.

- I'm listening.

- Well, we all taped
a whole bunch of stuff, right?

- Yeah?
- So if we work all night,

maybe we can edit together
a commercial

that's really...not awful.

- Yay!
My first all-nighter at PCA!

This is gonna be so much fun!

NICOLE: A Jet X?

ZOEY: Right.

BOTH: Jet X.

- Okay.

Our commercial
could not be suckier.

- We worked all night
for nothing.

- Are you sure we looked at
everything we shot?

- Yeah, I think.

- Well, I don't know
what to say.

- What's this?
DANA: I know!

I read your script!

- Dana, stop it.

- Maybe I should just make
my own commercial.

NICOLE: Why is this on tape?

- Quinn couldn't figure out

how to turn off the camera,
remember?

- Why do you always
have to take her side?

- I can't watch this.

And it's already after 7:00.

- We'd better go take a shower
and get ready for class.

You coming, Zo?

- Nah, I'll catch up later.

- Well, to me, the Jet X
is all about being cool

and getting noticed.

- No, it's about being
in control.

[tape rewinding,
keys clacking]

MR. BENDER: Okay, Logan.

Why don't you go ahead
and start your commercial?

LOGAN: Yes, sir.

[dramatic music plays]

LOGAN: You wanna look cool?

Be like a movie star?

Then you need a hot ride.

You need a Jet X.

With over 95 horsepower,

the Jet X will get you
where you wanna be.

- [whispering] Where's Zoey?

- I don't know.

LOGAN: Where the cool is.

You need...

- The Jet X.
Get one.

[applause]

- Excellent. Excellent.

You boys did a kick-butt job!

- Thank you, Jake.

- Well, we have
one more commercial to view.

JAKE: Well, hurry!
Let's see it

before I pop like a zit.
Come on!

- Uh, Dana, Nicole...

where's Zoey?

- Um, actually...

- Hey, sorry I'm late.

- All right, girls, I ain't got
time to fluff around,

so pop that sucker in
and hit play.

- Yes, sir.

- What'd you do?
- Watch.

[light music plays]

- The Jet X
is all about being cool

and getting noticed.
ALL: Jet X.

- I think the Jet X
is all about speed.

ALL: Jet X.
- Jet X represents

freedom and independence...

ALL: Jet X.
- [shrieks]

- You know, being able
to go wherever, whenever.

ALL: Jet X.

- Wow.

♪ ♪

[horn honks]

- It's about being
in control.

ALL: Jet X.

- Is it a motorcycle?

Is it a scooter?

ZOEY: No, it's a...

BOTH: Jet X.

♪ ♪

DANA: Did you get that?

- Well, butter my rump
and call me toast.

- Huh?
- What?

- Hmm?

- Brilliant.

Brill-iant!

You see? Now, that's what
I'm looking for.

- You liked that?

- Son, your commercial
was entertaining

but too Hollywood.

I'm sorry.

At least you have nice arms.

Congratulations, girls.

Your commercial's going on TV.

[girls shrieking, laughing]

- So we each get a scooter?

- No.

You each get a Jet X.

[girls screaming]

[applause]

- Hey! Wake up!

- What?
We overslept again?

- Yeah. We only have
nine minutes to get to class.

- I don't think
that'll be a problem.

WOMAN: ♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

[horns honk]

♪ Let's just get away ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[all cheering]

WOMAN: ♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

- Hey! I'm late!

Can I have a ride?

- Nope!
[horn honks]

- Whoo!

WOMAN: ♪ Yeah ♪

[all cheering]

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪

♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪

♪ And do what
you choose to do ♪

♪ Don't walk away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[ding]

MAN: Mmm.

ZOEY: You just spit on me.