Face/Off (1997)

[bunniefuu]

[child giggling]

[giggling continues]

[groaning]

[gasping]

[whimpering]

[sighs]

- Have you eaten?
- No.

What is this, a picnic? Come on.
Let's go. We got ten minutes to go.

- Punch me out, man.
- [man] You got it.

Any word from
the LAPD Intelligence?

- If there is such a thing.
- Not yet, sir.

Of course not. Because we're a covert
antiterrorism team that is so secret

that when we snap our fingers,
nothin' happens!

[beeping]

Sheriff's Department?
Airport Police?

Still waiting, but Interpol
insists he's in Tripoli.

Yeah, well, you trust
that billion-dollar satellite, OK?

I'll trust a ten-dollar snitch
at this point.

- [man] Sean, look.
- What?

Why don't you just give them
a little break, OK?

We'll take a break
when the case breaks, OK?

[choir sings the Hallelujah Chorus
from "The Messiah"]

I never really enjoyed The Messiah.
In fact, I think it's f*cking boring.

But your voice makes
even a hack like Handel…

[moans] …seem like a genius.

- ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah
- ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah

- Ahhhhh!
- ♪ Hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah

Victor, when we…
when we put this thing to bed,

you can brand
the Fourth Amendment on my butt.

- Thank you.
- Sir, excuse me. Your wife is on line one.

Sean, a jet was just chartered.
Anderson Airfield.

Guess who paid the bill in cash?
Pollux Troy.

- Put someone on that plane.
- We still got no sign of Castor.

Pollux doesn't fly without
big brother. Now, come on!

You're 26 minutes late.

The casing didn't fit, right?

I told you g*dd*mn Dietrich
would try to pawn off

some cheap-sh*t North Korean plastic.

Casing fit like a condom.

You didn't deviate
from the plan, did you, Pollux?

How long can I sit here
twiddling my thumbs?

I paid for the jet.
Save us some time.

That's what the boys are for -
to hide our famous faces.

If I didn't love you so damn much,
I'd have to k*ll you, bro.

I hate it
when you call me "bro".

You guys are paid to protect him
from everybody, including himself.

And stay away from downtown
on the 18th.

It's gonna be a little, um, smoggy.

OK. My passengers are here.
I gotta go.

Let's go, let's go.
I'm bored. Let's go.

- Here you go.
- Bravo.

Would you like anything else
once we're airborne?

Oh, a peach.

Sit. Come here.

Mmm.

You know, I can, uh…
eat a peach for hours.

Um, come here.

If I were to send you flowers,
where would I, uh…

No, wait. Let me rephrase.

If I were to let you suck my tongue,

- would you be grateful?
- [moans]

There's someone on the runway.

[siren]

Get off of me!

Archer.

FBI.

This is a very big g*n.
Fly the f*cking plane.

Come on. That's it.

Come on, let's go.

g*dd*mn it! Don't play chicken
with the g*dd*mn jet!

Come on!

[c*ck g*n]

He's got Winters. g*dd*mn it!

Sean!

All units, pin 'em in!

Close in on 'em!

One of yours, Sean?

- [g*nsh*t]
- sh*t!

Out! Come on! Go! Go!

g*dd*mn it, Sean!

[c*ck g*n] Take off now.

- Fly!
- I can't.

Fly, b*tch!

All units, locked and ready.
Follow Archer's lead.

- [beeping]
- What the f*ck are you doing?

- There's an engine out. We gotta stop.
- [g*nsh*t]

[beeping continues]

- Move, move, move!
- [officers shouting]

Aaaah!

Pollux!

- Aaaah!
- Get up!

Sock it to me!
Sock it to me! Come on!

Cas.

Secure the hangar.

Berkley, down!

Down!

[g*ns c*ck]

Give up, Castor. Your time's up.

[chuckles]

You better hit me, Sean,
cos you only got one b*llet left.

So do you.

Wow!

We've got something in common.

We both know our g*ns.

What we don't have in common
is that I don't care if I live and you do.

Sean, that hurts.

You're not having any fun,
are you, Sean?

Why don't you come with us?

Try terrorism for hire.
We'll blow some sh*t up. It's more fun.

- Shut the f*ck up.
- You watch your f*cking mouth!

I'm about to unleash
the biblical plague "hell-A" deserves.

But I'll give this sh*thole a break
if my brother and I walk.

- Bullshit.
- Oh. I see. You think I'm bluffing.

Maybe I am,
but then maybe I'm not.

More importantly, what would you do
with me locked up?

You'd drive your wife and kid crazy.

Say, how is your daughter anyway?
Is she ripening by now?

Your darling Janie.
Your little peach. Is she ripe?

- [barks, yells]
- [trigger clicks]

OK.

[whimpers] OK. Please, man.

Don't sh**t me. [sobs]

I'm scared, Seany.

[laughs hysterically]

Well, I think you better pull the trigger,
because I don't give a f*ck!

♪ I'm ready

♪ Ready for the big ride, baby

[yells]

Well, Sean, looks like
Elvis done left the building.

[girl] It wasn't my fault!
Why won't you ever be on my side?

I am always on your side,
but you have to give me a chance.

- Now what?
- [sighs]

She was suspended again.
A kid made a crack about her clothes.

- And she started a fight.
- Right, Dad.

- Don't even ask me what happened.
- OK. What happened?

Oh, I see.

Not like you would believe me anyway.

Jamie, look. It's not easy, OK?
I mean… [sighs]

You change the way you look
every week, and the way you act.

Who are you supposed to be now?

I'm supposed to be me.

Not like you have a clue
who I am anyway.

[door slams]

Uh, I have to work tonight.

I called to tell you,
but I was on hold for ten minutes.

- I couldn't wait any longer.
- I got him, Eve.

It's over.

It's over.

Oh, Sean!

I'll make it up
to you and Jamie. I promise.

I'll put in for a desk job,
I'll do counselling.

Sit down, talk about Mike.
I'll do it. Anything you want.

[sighs] I just want you.

Well, good, cos that's what
you're gonna get. You happy?

Yes. Yeah.

[crying] Thank God.

[man] Hold up.

What is all this?

Sir, the CIA sent this over.

I didn't know they catered.
Send it back.

No, wait.

How about, uh…

What about to Anderson,
Montgomery, Berkley…

Pincus, Gianelli, Winters?

How's Loomis?

[sighs] He's gonna need a little surgery,
but he'll be OK.

- What's up?
- Special Ops. They want a word.

- Aw, forget it. I don't have the time.
- Better make time, Sean.

Recovered from the jet wreckage.
Found in Pollux Troy's briefcase.

[moaning]

Porcelain casing.

Thermal cloak.

Nerve gas and biological payload.

- It's enough to flatten a square mile.
- [sighs]

And then, depending on
the prevailing winds,

the fallout'll be a tad worse
than Gulf w*r Syndrome.

The biblical…
The biblical plague that LA…

Aaah!

Where is he?
Where's Pollux Troy?

Why draw the schematic if you're
not gonna build the b*mb, hm?

[Pollux] Is it now a crime
in this country to exercise the mind?

- I'm interested in b…
- I won't say a word until I see my brother.

Any progress?

I need about ten minutes
alone with this guy.

Give it a rest.
You got Castor. Just go home.

[sighs]

We're not gonna evacuate
the city on your hunch.

I know Castor too well
for this to be a hunch.

You know what? Just run
the g*dd*mn bureau any way you like.

I could put an agent in his cell.
Maybe Pollux will let it slip.

Oh, come on.
He's a paranoid sociopath.

The only person he'd talk to about
that b*mb is his brother, and he's dead.

There is one other possibility.

[monitor beeping]

Oh, God! You're keeping him alive.

Relax, Archer. He's a turnip.

[sighs]

What if you could walk
into Erewhon Prison

and give Pollux
a nice big-brotherly hug as Castor Troy?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Let me try.
Malcolm Walsh.

- I run the bio-cover unit for Special Ops.
- I know who you are.

But you don't know what I can do.

Physical alteration.
Augmentation.

Dr Walsh can alter the likeness,
even the voice, of a government witness.

I think you'll recognise
this patient.

We had to build your friend Loomis
a whole new ear from scratch.

What we're suggesting for you, Archer,
isn't a permanent transplant like that.

Just a temporary trade.

Come here.

With the new anti-inflammatories
healing takes days, not weeks.

Your blood types won't match,
but Pollux won't know.

Height difference is negligible.

Skin pigment, eye pigment,
both almost identical.

We'll use laser shears
for the hairline,

microplugs for body hair.

We'll do an abdominoplasty,
take care of those love handles.

But all that's the easy part.
Here's the real science.

This is a state-of-the-art
morphogenetic template.

The inside is modelled on your skull.

- The outside, exactly like Troy's.
- [exhales]

Then we fit his face on top.
Not a replica, but the real thing.

Then we simply connect the muscles,
tear ducts and nerve endings.

- So you wanna take his face and mine…
- Borrow.

The procedure's completely reversible.

You think that I want
to do this? No. No!

- There's no one else, Sean.
- No!

You have lived and breathed
Castor Troy for years.

I'll get his g*ng to talk.
That's what I do.

What if you can't? The b*mb
will blow and Castor Troy will win.

Get out! Go ahead!
And wipe your a*s.

Damn! What the hell is that smell?

He sh*t in his pants.
Where's Dietrich?

Hello, Sasha. When was the last time
you saw Castor Troy?

Who cares? He's dead.

- Answer the question.
- I know my rights.

- I don't have to answer sh*t.
- You're right, but know this:

You're a convicted felon on probation
for harbouring Castor Troy.

One phone call from me, and your son
will end up in a foster home.

[sighs]

I understand
why you would use such a threat,

but you try to take him away from me,
I swear to you…

I haven't seen him for years.

This reeks of you.
It's got your signature all over it.

Maybe, but you ain't got nothing on me
and you know it.

Maybe so, but I can
keep you within city limits,

or I can talk to your sister again.

She's right outside.

Only this time, I'll be nice.

Hey, Sean.

How's your dead son?

[laughs]

I don't know anything…
OK, OK, I heard something about the 18th.

But that's all I know.

Great. So we got a date.
But where the hell's the damn b*mb?

- Only Pollux Troy'll know that.
- It's your call, Sean.

- Does Lazarro know your plan?
- No, this is a black bag operation.

Strictly off the books.

You can't tell Lazarro,
and you can't tell your wife.

Oh, God.

What are you asking me to do?
OK, let's see.

You're asking me to… break the law,

risk my neck,

and you're asking me to put in the dark
all the people that love me and trust me.

I'll do it.

Sean.

- [kissing sounds]
- Sorry I woke you.

I'm glad it's you that woke me…

[giggles] …and not a phone call
telling me you won't be coming home.

But that's a fear
I can finally let go of, huh?

[Eve sighs]

Oh, it's all right, Sean. It's OK.

I keep…

I keep wanting to move this…

over here, you know?

If it'd only been an inch to the left,

Mikey would be alive.

And you wouldn't be.

Sean, things are gonna get better
now that you're home.

The scar won't move,
but it will heal if you let it.

Everything will be better now that
this is forever out of our lives.

[sighs]

Eve, if I told you that I realised that…

that this thing won't fully end…

until I did one last thing…

- [gasps]
- Eve, something vital.

You're going back on assignment again.

Just one last time.

Come on, Eve.

"I'm not going anywhere."
That's what you told me.

[sighs] Oh!

[sighs]

You don't need me to tell you what
to do, Sean. You never have. So, go.

But go now.

[sighs] Sean, I'm changin' my mind.
This is a suicide mission.

Yeah, I know. I know.

You know, maybe if this doctor,

if he can do even half
of what he says he can do,

maybe it'll work. I don't know.

I'd become Castor Troy, be in control.

- That's the part that scares me.
- Mm.

[chuckles]

Doctor, I have something…

I have this scar that…

If you can put this back
after all this is over…

It's important to me.
It's like a reminder.

Sure.

Tito, please, hold this for me.
Please.

OK, let's go.

[door closes]

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Hey, you OK?
Come on, talk to me, Sean.

[yells]

f*ck you! f*ck you!
f*ck you!

- Sean! Sean!
- f*ck you!

Sean, come on.

Sit down. Sean.
Sean! Archer!

You're Sean Archer.

Sean Archer.
Sean Archer.

[Sean's voice] When this is over,

I want you to take this face
and burn it.

OK?

I still sound like me.

I've implanted a microchip
on your larynx.

It's fantastic,
but you have to be careful.

Pressure, a sharp blow, even
a violent sneeze could dislodge it.

Repeat what you hear.

[Castor] Peach.
I can eat a peach for hours.

Peach. I can eat
a peach for hours.

- There's a scratchy tickle.
- Mm-hm.

[electronically altered]
Peach. I can eat a peach for hours.

[closer to Castor's voice]
Peach. I can eat a peach for hours.

- Once again.
- [Sean's voice] Peach. I can…

[Castor's voice]
…eat a peach for hours.

Perfect.

Now, Sean, six days until the 18th.
The clock's ticking and so's the b*mb.

[murmurs] Right.

You got two days
to get Pollux to talk.

Either way, Miller comes in
and pulls you out.

You got me?

- What's the matter?
- Face itches.

You all right?
Come on, let's go.

Archer will be pissed when he comes back
from his training and finds out.

The guy's knee-deep in Georgia swamp.

[door unlocked]

You are now the property
of Erewhon Prison.

A citizen of nowhere.

The Geneva Convention is void here.

Amnesty International
doesn't know we exist.

When I say your a*s belongs to me,

I mean exactly that.

This entire prison's
one big magnetic field.

The boots tell us where you are.



[chattering, shouting]

[birds chirping]

[♪ music playing]

Hey, hey, hey. What's the matter, pal?
Don't you remember the little people?

- Burke Hicks.
- Oh, yeah.

I bust…

believe Sean Archer busted you for
stalking the UN Secretary General.

Oh, no, Archer framed me.
I had nothing to do with that. [chuckles]

Word was you got wasted.

You wanna see what wasted
looks like, little man?

[prisoners] Ooh!

Pollux.

[prisoners shouting]

- [groans]
- Yeah!

[guard] Move it!
Move out of the way! Out of the way!

Central, there's a disturbance
in the population.

- Go to lockdown.
- Hold that lockdown.

Come on, you p*ssy!

You watch your f*ck' mouth.

You watch your f*ck' mouth!

[shouting continues]

Cos I'm Castor Troy. Yeah!

- I'm Castor Troy!
- [prisoners cheering]

Whoo!

I'm Castor Troy! Yeah!

Yeah! Whoo!

Yeah!

[sobs] Whoo!

[yells]

[yells]

Lock 'em down!

I stop the fights, not you.

That's two strikes for you, Dubov.
One more, you know where you're goin'.

- When I get out of here…
- If you get outta here.

…I'm gonna have you fired.

[prisoners laugh]

[monitor beeps rapidly]

[steady beeping resumes]

[gasping, choking]

[whimpering]

[yells]

[Castor, muffled] Lars, it's me.

Believe it!

Someone…

They took… switched my…
with… for some f*cking…

[gasping]

But it's cool.
We're gonna deal with it.

[laughs hysterically]

[sobs]

Oh, yes, we're gonna deal with it.

[♪ opera music]

- What's this about?
- Dr Walsh!

I was just enjoying
some of your greatest hits here.

Oh, oh, I hope you don't mind.

I partook of your groovy…
your groovy painkillers.

You know, this is fabulous work.
This is, this is… Oh!

Oh, oh! Bravo!

Bra-f*cking-vo!

Oh, God, this is excellent.

Bravo. Bravo.

What do you want?

[claps three times]

Take one g*dd*mn guess.

[birds chirping]

I wish they'd play
those salmon spawning scenes again.

I found them intensely erotic.

Ah, f*ck' nature channel.

One more waterfall,
I'm gonna foam at the mouth.

[Pollux] It's like
they're begging us to riot.

Excuse me.

Not feeling very coordinated
lately, are you?

Look, bro, you gotta help me.

I am so fried.

If the psychos in here find out I'm misfiring,
we're both gonna be dead meat.

Shock treatment?

What's the matter with you?
Did they operate?

I was in a coma. Jesus,
you're still so f*cking paranoid.

- Aren't they giving you your medication?
- What was my medication?

Pollux, I hand-fed you
those pills for years.

Vivex.
I haven't forgotten that.

It's just everything else.

My senses, my reflexes, my memory.

It's like a tab of bad Quantrex.

I don't even know why that f*cking yeti
jumped me yesterday.

Dubov?

You had a sex sandwich with his wife and
his sister the night he was sent here.

I guess that explains
why he's so upset.

Wow.

We're gonna blow up LA, bro.
Ain't it cool?

Oh, right, rub my nose in it,
why don't you?

$10 million design, and now those
militia nut-jobs get to keep their cash.

So f*cking unfair.

That b*mb you built
does deserve an audience.

It's a work of art.

It belongs in the Louvre.

Yes, it does.

Oh, well.

I guess the LA Convention Center
will have to do.

- What?
- Thank you.

For what?

You are so f*cking pathetic.

[guard] You got a visitor.

Ooh-whee, you good-lookin'!
You're hot!

It's like looking in a mirror,
only not.

Ohh.

- Troy?
- Now, that is between us, OK?

- But you were in…
- In a coma?

Nothing like having your face cut off
to disturb your sleep.

Read the newspaper lately?

- You k*lled them?
- Well, look, beats payin' the bill, huh?

I mean, if a face-lift costs five grand…

See anything you like?

Tito.

I torched all the evidence
that proves you're you. OK?

So, wow. It looks like you're gonna be
in here for… the next hundred years!

[gasps]

Now I have got to go.
I've got a government job to abuse…

and a lonely wife to f*ck.

Oh, did I say that? I'm sorry.

I meant make love to.

God, I miss that face.

Die!

Die!

Aaaaah!

Sorry, Agent Archer.

No, don't you worry about it, Mr Walton.

Clearly, he's, uh…
had a traumatic childhood, and, uh…

Thank you.

♪ What's givin' you the will to live
is lookin' for revenge?

Look at this place. I'm in hell.

I may never get a hard-on again.

[music continues]

♪ Don't lose your head

Oh, yes. There we go.

Well, I suppose it was
only a matter of time

before you forgot where we lived.

Come on, give me a break.

Every house on this block
looks the same.

Then I spotted you… Eve.

My one and only Eve.

So how was your vital assignment?

Which one was that?

How should I know, Sean?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yes.
The out-of-body experience.

Yes, that one.

- Where you goin'? Hm?
- To the hospital.

No. No.

- What's the matter?
- Sean, come on.

- No, what?
- Quit teasing me. I'm still really hurt.

There are leftovers in the fridge.

No, no, I want to stay hungry
for you, my peach.

- Gimme that tongue.
- Sean, come on.

- What is it, Eve?
- I can't believe what you're doing.

Eve, I hate to see you go,
but I love to watch you leave.

"Date night fizzled again."

"We haven't made love in two months."

What a loser.

[sighs]

[♪ "Papa's Got a Brand-New Bag"
by James Brown]

Got your email, Karl.

The poem you sent me
was pretty kinky.

[sighs] The plot thickens.

Hang on a second.

I'll have to call you back.

- You're not respecting my boundaries.
- I'm coming in, Janie.

Janie?

I don't think you heard me, Jamie.

You got something that I crave.

♪ Papa's got a brand-new bag

- [sighs]
- Clarissa left those here.

I won't tell Mom if you don't.

When did you start smoking?

You'll be seeing a lot
of changes around here.

Papa's got a brand-new bag.
Ow!

- ♪ But I can do the jimmy
- ♪ I can do the jimmy

♪ You're doin' the twist
just like this

Bye, bro. Drop me a line sometime.

Gonna be kinda lonely
with Pollux gone, huh?

Pollux… Pollux what?

That big-sh*t cop, Archer,
cut him a deal for turning state's evidence.

Your brother's been released.

I'm Sean Archer.

There is a b*mb at the LA Convention
Center. I'm Sean Archer and… Ow!

[♪ humming]

♪ Tiramisu, tiramisu

- Sir, we just wanted you to know…
- We're all really sorry about Tito.

Oh, hey, sh*t happens, you know.

So, is our star witness talking?

Yeah, about what kind of mustard
he likes on his tongue sandwiches.

If that b*mb is out there,
we're almost out of time.

Hm.

Archer!

You made a deal with Pollux Troy.
That isn't like you.

Well, when all else fails,
fresh tactics.

Fresh? Let me tell you my fresh tactic.

From now on, everything to do with this
case goes through me. Understood? Good.

Thanks.

You're supposed to be snitching
and making me look good.

- Look good?
- Mm-hm.

Seeing that face on you makes me afraid
my tiramisu might come back up.

Well, think about me -
this nose, this hair, this ridiculous chin.

[sighs] Brother, we're going straight.

Oh, my goodness.
Did you exchange brains as well?

The first thing I need you to confess to
is the location of the b*mb.

What about our $10 million?

What about when I become
an American hero for defusing the b*mb?

What's that worth?
Know that.

Thank you. Next question?
[chuckles]

You're not the only one
in the family with brains.

No. Although now I am
the only one with the looks.

Touché.

[sirens wailing]

[PA] This is an emergency evacuation.

Go, go, go!

[beeping]

- Any ideas?
- Yeah. Run.

Sir, it's protected by a tamper switch.
It'll take us hours to bypass.

[whispers] Oh.

Evacuate your team, Captain.

- No, but, sir, we can't disarm…
- Leave.

[sings to himself]

♪ Hallelujah

- ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah
- [beeping]

♪ Hallelujah

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…

- [rapid beeping]
- [female voice] Oh, baby! Ohh!

That was the scene
at the LA Convention Center

where an FBI agent
became a city's saviour.

Sean Archer disarmed a massive b*mb
just one second before it was set to blow.

The apparent targets were
three Supreme Court justices

scheduled to speak here today,

and anyone unlucky enough
to be within a mile of the scene.

We asked Agent Archer if the FBI
had any leads on who planted the device.

Well, that is, uh,
classified information,

but if he's listening
I wouldn't mind giving him a message.

Interception.
Now our side's got the ball. Sorry.

[prisoners murmuring, booing]

[applause]

[groaning]

Wanda, everybody…

Hey, look, I…

I wanna thank you for, uh…

enduring all these years
that I was an insufferable bore.

Sir, did you just have
a surgical procedure?

What do you mean?

Well, was the stick successfully
removed from your a*s?

Sir.
The White House on one.

It's the president.
Oh, and your wife on line two.

- You tell the president to hold.
- OK.

[gasps]

Uhh!

[door opens]

[gasps] Ohh! My God.

- Sean, you scared the hell out of me.
- It's date night.

- Mm…
- [sighs]

- Congratulations.
- Oh, big deal.

[kisses]

OK, I said, "Mr President,
I want the authority

and I want the funds and the personnel

to take over the whole gamut
of global terrorism, right?"

And he said, "The next name
on my calling list is Lazarro,

and I'm telling him
that Sean Archer writes his own ticket."

OK?

[sighs]

What's the matter?

I… I don't know, Sean.

You just… You just seem so different.

Hmm.

I mean, what is all this about,
this intimate candlelight dinner? Huh?

I'm supposed to forget all the promises
cos you're going back into the fray?

[sighs]

[sighs]

If the top cop in this country
can't come home every night to his wife,

then the hell with the country,

because the only place I'm going…

is upstairs with you.

Exercise. One hour.

How can I get out of here?

You can't.

How can I get these boots off?

They only take 'em off in the clinic,
right before they fry your skull.

Hey!

- I'm out of cigarettes.
- Get back in line, Troy.

I said I'm out of cigarettes.

[prisoners shouting]

Kick his a*s!

What the hell! That's not right!

Aaaah!

I need a light! I need a light!

- Anybody got a light?
- All right!

- Anybody got a light?
- [prisoners shouting]

Got a light?

[groaning]

[groaning continues]

Better bring the b*stard down
before he chokes himself to death.

[lever slams off]

Well, happy day.
It's Castor Troy.

Wait. Hold it.
Can I have a light?

You know those things'll k*ll ya.
[laughs]

Get his boots, Walton.

Dubov, I didn't touch your wife.

And I didn't touch your sister.

[groans]

But I know your wife loves you.
She's waiting for you.

- So let's get outta here.
- [groans] Huh?

You're more brain-dead than Dubov.
[laughs]

Oww!

- Out.
- Out.

- Get in there!
- Close the door!

Look out!

Shots have been fired.
We have men down in C-4.

I got 'em.

Aaaah!

Move!

[screaming]

Get down!

[prisoners shouting]

Dubov!

No!

Get out!

[prisoners continue shouting]

Aaaah!

[beep]

Dubov!

No.

Give me your hand.

Come on.

You can do it.

- No!
- Aaah!

No. No!

No!

[machine-g*n fire]

Sean!

Wait.

- What are you doing?
- Oh. I'm sorry.

Have a nice day.

"Have a nice day"?

What is with you? Is this your way
of just not dealing with this morning?

Yeah… Yeah, maybe.

Sean. Sean!

I know it's hard for you
but it's hard for me too,

and we still have to go.

Happy birthday, Mikey.

He took our baby, Sean.
He took our little boy.

[sobbing]

You turned your beeper off.

Yes, well, my son's birthday.

Well, here's some poetic justice, sir.
Castor Troy's dead.

He got k*lled trying
to escape from Erehwon.

Where's his body?
I want to see his body.

It hasn't been recovered yet.

"It hasn't been recovered yet"?

Get the LAPD on this!

Even if he is alive, Castor isn't
stupid enough to come back to the city.

[sighs]

You must… you must trust me.

He's already here.

[car doors closing]

[alarm disarms]

[dialling]

County General.
How may I direct your call?

Dr Archer, please.
It's an emergency.

- May I say who's calling?
- Her husband.

[woman] Dr Archer? Call on line three.

[Sean's voice, crackly]
I know this sounds crazy… sh*t.

- Sean?
- Eve. Listen carefully.

- The man you think is your husband isn't.
- Who is this?

Please just listen.
Take Jamie, go to your mother's.

Don't tell him where you're going.
Just go.

Uh, whoever you are,
don't call again.

- [man] Operations.
- I need Victor Lazarro immediately.

- Regarding?
- I have information about Castor Troy.

I'll transfer you, sir.

Sean Archer here. Who's calling?

Well, if you're Sean Archer,
I guess I'm Castor Troy.

[sighs] Ah, yes.

[radio] This escaped convict
is considered extremely dangerous.

If you have any information concerning
the whereabouts of Castor Troy…

[turns off radio]

[siren]

[Dietrich] You g*dd*mn right. Yeah!

The sh*t's so good,
it's gonna make your d*ck hard.

What? Cheryl?
Cheryl's a liar.

Dietrich.

So you're still selling hops and drugs
to Cheryl and Phil Roy.

[laughs] Castor f*cking Troy!

Oh, man. You scared me, man.

All right. All right! Ha-ha!

I never should've sold you those bombs.
That's my curse. I can't say no to a friend.

You can't say no to money.

- That's my other curse.
- You drug dealer.

- What's the matter?
- What?

You look like you just f*cked
your mother. Come on, let's relax.

Well, there's the word.

[music playing]

Hey!

[laughs]

Hey, Castor.

- Come on.
- I don't believe this!

Castor Troy!

- What are you doing?
- [laughter]

- Come on in.
- [laughter continues]

Hey, baby. Remember me?
I'm your favourite peach.

Oh, I thought I was your favourite.

[man] Look at this guy.

You know, you look pretty good…
for a dead guy.

Hey!

- [man #1] Mescal.
- [man #2] Two?

[man #1] Yeah.

So what do you wanna do?

- You wanna get out of the country?
- I'm not going anywhere.

I'm gonna get Sean Archer…

with your help.

OK.

Welcome home, baby.

[chuckles] Ohh!

How are we supposed to do that?

He's vulnerable at home.

No.

This is Sean Archer we're talkin' about.
This isn't just some boy scout.

- Fitch…
- Well, no.

Besides, his house is probably
alarmed up the wazoo.

The code is 10-19-86.
That's his dead son's birthday.

Don't it just break your heart?

[chuckles] That's brilliant.

- That's sick.
- [women laugh]

How is it that you know
so much about Sean Archer?

Uh… I, uh… sleep with his wife.

[all laugh]

- [man] What?
- [laughter continues]

She's… God. She's great.

So, once we kidnap supercop,
then what?

Tiny… surgery.

I'd like to take his…
his face off.

Yes.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have to use
the little boys' wee-wee room.

Cas.

- You wanna take his… face.
- Yes.

His face off!

The eyes, nose, skin.

It's coming off.

The face…

off.

No more drugs for that man.

[both laugh]

[echoing] I'm not me.

I'm me.

Not me. Me.

Castor… Archer.

Castor Archer.

I thought you were dead.

I'm not dead. I'm me.

No, no, no. Look, what I'm trying
to tell you, brother, Pollux,

is once we get the full protection
and resources of the government

to help us get rid of our rivals - right? -
then we'll be set.

Then maybe, just maybe,
I'll get my frickin' face back.

Then I'll just have
one jag-off to take care of.

[rock music on car radio]

Hey, where you goin'?
Where you goin'?

Karl, stop it.

- Maybe two. Hold on.
- Karl, stop it!

- Calm down. Calm down!
- Karl!

My dad's home. Let go.

- Happy hunting. I'll catch you later.
- Stop it!

Yeah, like Mr f*cking Invisible
gives a sh*t about you.

So f*ck' hold still!
Calm down!

Ow!

- OK. Say you're sorry.
- I'm sorry!

- I didn't hear it.
- I'm sorry!

- Mean it.
- I'm so sorry!

Mm.

Dress up like Halloween,
and ghouls will try to get in your pants.

Typical Dad. Some guy
tries to r*pe me and I'm to blame.

This isn't you.

No, you haven't been the same
since Mike died.

Hiding behind someone else's face,
hoping you wouldn't feel the pain.

While we're talking,
do you have protection?

What, do you mean, like, condoms?

Protection.

Next time, let Karl take his pants down.

Slip this in his thigh,
twist it, so the wound won't close.

Now, go on, get outta here.

[sighs] I am the king.

- Mm.
- Hmm.

- Eve.
- [gasps]

Aaah!

Jesus! Cas, it's me.

It's me.

Cas. Shh.

Come on. It's me.

Jesus!

- Come on.
- Don't you want to talk?

The only talk I ever heard from you is "suck
my tongue", "I love your a*s", and "see ya".

Take this filthy sh*t off,
put this on and get outta here.

- No, I'm not going anywhere.
- Oh, really?

What, do you expect me, after all this time,
just to… just to jump on you?

- That's not what…
- Is that what you expect?

- That's not what I meant.
- What did you mean, huh?

Is this what you meant? Hm?

- That? That? How 'bout this?
- Hm…

Is that good, huh?

[phone rings]

- Sean Archer.
- Bro.

I figured he might drop in
on some of our old friends,

and if my eyes don't deceive, I think
this fella's beginning to enjoy being you.

Good.

Hm…

- [gasps]
- Look, OK… Look… Sasha.

[sighs]

What I meant is that I'm not going
anywhere until your brother helps me first.

[sighs] Cas.

If the FBI finds out
that you were here, I'll lose my son.

Please, Cas, you just gotta go.

I've said and done some things
that have made your life harder. I know.

How would you? When you left,
you never looked back.

I… I just know.

Look, Sasha, I'm not
the same person you remember.

And for what it's worth I'm sorry.

- They're nice-looking clothes.
- Of course. They're yours.

I know, I… just like 'em.

That's a nice-lookin' kid too.

Yeah. Of course.

He's yours too.

[r*fles c*ck]

- How old is he?
- [Sasha] Five.

Nobody knows he's yours.

I was scared someone would try
to hurt him just to hurt you.

Adam. Adam!

I don't want you playing with those things.
They are very, very dangerous. OK?

Now, come on, sweetie.

I want you to meet your father.

Look at him. It's OK. Say hi.

[Adam] Hi.

[giggling]

Hi.

[chuckles] Michael.

Michael. Michael?

- Cas? Cas.
- Michael?

Cas, you're scaring him.
Let him go.

What is the matter with you?

Get down!

[screaming]

[machine-g*n fire]

OK, Red team! Red Team, break off!

How'd you get to be so brave?
How'd you get to be so brave?

[machine-g*n fire continues]

- [man] Come out with your hands up!
- Put these on.

[Sasha] Oh, yeah. That's a good idea,
baby. Listen to your music. Come on.

- [man] Come out now!
- [music over headphones]

- Go, go, go!
- We have a warrant for your arrest!

Cops.

- I hate cops.
- [screaming]

Come on, kid.

- Move, move!
- [officer shouting]

Come on now!

Go, go!

Go!

[machine-g*n fire continues]

Aaaaah!

- [tape] ♪ Someday I'll wish upon a star
- Get out of here!

Come on!

Don't sh**t! Don't sh**t!

Damn, my place is getting f*cked up!

[screaming]

Take him.

Cas! Cas!
Give me the boy!

Really? Really?
Come on!

Come on, come on!
Let's go! Go, go, go!

Aaaah!

Cas, be careful with him!

Aah!

Don't be scared, all right? All right?

♪ Somewhere over the rainbow

♪ Skies are blue

♪ And the dreams
that you dare to dream

♪ Really do come true

♪ Someday I'll wish upon a star

♪ And wake up where the clouds

- ♪ Are far behind me
- Adam!

♪ Birds fly over the rainbow

♪ Why then, oh, why can't I?

Adam? Adam?

Get 'em out back!
Go, go, go!

- Put the boy down.
- Honey, sweetie, don't touch that.

It isn't nice!

I don't want to ever
see you do that. Hm?

Ha-ha! They're like c*ck!

Hey! Drop it.

That's it.

[c*ck g*n]

Buzz.

[man] Hey!

I told him not to f*ck with me.

[c*ck g*n]

[p*stol clicks]

Take the boy and get out of here.

- Are you all right?
- Go!

Hurry up.

Hey, man.

We had some good times, didn't we?

[groans]

[sighs]

I don't know what I hate wearing worse -

your face or your body.

I mean, I enjoy boning your wife,

but, uh, well, let's face it.

We both like it better
the other way, yes?

So why don't we just trade back?

You can't give back
what you've taken from me.

Oh, well. Plan B.

Let's just k*ll each other.

Aaaah!

Aaaaah!

[whimpers quietly]

Sir, why are you so upset?

It's just Pollux Troy.

Sir, look, you're on the cover of Time.

Listen. "In a single week,
Agent Sean Archer

has ordered a stunning series
of blitzkrieg-style raids

on the hideouts, staging grounds
and safe houses

of our nation's
assassins, car bombers…"

Sean. Look, we're friends,
so I'm gonna tell you face to face.

I don't give a damn if you are
Time's Man of the Year.

After last night's bloodbath,
I'm terminating your w*r on t*rrorists.

[groans]

Is that, uh, because I'm getting
all the kudos and you're not?

I don't know where you're getting your
intelligence. It's not from field agents.

Sometimes I think you know too much.
Washington's starting to worry.

Justice wants a hearing.

[murmurs] sh*t.

They're concerned about the
constitutionality of your gestapo tactics

and, frankly, so am I!

[clears throat, sighs]

Uh…

OK, Victor, I'll give
the, uh… taxpayers a break.

But, um…

I have something, uh, I want to confess

and I don't think you're gonna like it.

I am Castor Troy.

[groaning]

Aaah!

[sighs]

- Kimmy. Kim?
- Yes, sir?

Call the paramedics.
Victor Lazarro has had a heart attack.

- Oh, God. Right away.
- Thank you.

[sighs]

- 81.
- [police dispatcher, indistinct]

[shower running]

[gasps]

Home.

[shower off]

Eve.

Eve.

No. Honey, please…
please don't scream. Don't scream.

I'm not gonna hurt you.
Honey, please. Don't.

Shh. Shh.
Just don't look at my face.

- And the voice… Don't listen.
- [whimpers]

- Just… Eve…
- I know who you are. You k*lled our son!

Shh. I did not k*ll our son.

[muffled]

I'm Sean.

Last time I saw you…
was in this room.

We had a fight when I said
I had to go away again.

I spent the night in Mike's old bed.

[whimpers]

Ohh. [winces]

I'm tired, Eve.

The assignment was… to enter
a federal prison as Castor Troy.

Just f*cking insane.

A special ops surgeon,
uh, gave me, uh…

Castor's… face!

And then, uh… And then somehow
Castor came out of his, uh…

his coma…

and k*lled everybody
who knew about the mission.

But… But not before
transforming into me.

[sniffling]

[screams]

I know you don't believe a word
I'm saying. Well, here's proof, Doctor.

Your husband, me, my…
Sean's blood type is O negative.

Castor's is AB.

And I love you.

Get some backup.

What a day.

You look tense.

I know I've been acting different lately.

Strange.

I've got a confession to make, Eve.

You're not gonna like it.

Oh, Eve, I feel…
I feel so close to you.

I read your diary.
I know I shouldn't have. I'm ashamed.

But I did.

I just wanna be the man
that… that you deserve.

Passionate, tender.

Victor Lazarro died today.
He had a heart seizure.

My mentor, gone.

[sighs] First Tito, then Victor. So what…

I hope this doesn't mean
I'm losing you.

Of course not.

You're the only family I've got. [kisses]

[continues kissing]

Oh…

Oh, God.

Oh, Sean.

Oh, God.

I was hoping you'd come here.
Thank you for trusting me.

Right now… I don't trust anyone.

Eve, where did you get that g*n?

I took it from my fake husband.

Put it down. You know I'm Sean.

Do I? Maybe Sean's already dead, huh?

I'm moving very slowly.
[whispers] Very slowly.

[gasps]

I was thinking the other day…

I remember

I once… took a date out
for surf and turf,

not knowing she was a vegetarian.

So… she ate bread

and… and broke her tooth
on a rye seed.

We drove around all night,

looking for a… for an all-night dentist…

and… and he, uh, he was so drunk
he fixed the wrong tooth.

[laughing, sobbing]

And when I finally brought her home,

even though it must have hurt like hell,

you… you… you kissed me.

Ohh…

Sean.

That man…

You know, we've been living together
as man and wife for a week.

Yeah, I…

I know.

Eve. Eve.

I put you in that position,

and I can never make it up to you.

Well, you're damn well gonna try.

Let me take a look at that wound
before you bleed to death.

With Lazarro out of the way,

Castor's the new
acting director of the bureau.

- He's untouchable.
- Not tomorrow.

- Tomorrow he'll be at Victor's service.
- Tomorrow?

That will be the day.

I want you and Jamie away from there.
Give him a good excuse.

I can cover for Jamie, but if I'm not coming
he's gonna know something's up.

Besides, I'm the only one
who can try and explain the truth.

[woman] Excuse me, Mr Archer.
May I help you?

[man over PA] Dr Levine to X-ray.

Sean, what are you doing here?

I'm… so… sorry, darling.

I just get so jealous, I…

I mean, what is a guy to think

when his… his wife runs off
in the middle of the night?

That I'm a doctor on call,
so please let me get back to work. OK?

Sorry.

Lies. Distrust.
Mixed messages.

This is turning into a real marriage.

How's Adam?

I took him to my cousin's
until this thing blows over.

- Where's Jamie?
- That's what I'd like to know.

She stole $50 from my purse
and took off.

- So, what's the next move?
- This isn't your fight.

Come on. You're surprised? Our daughter
won't even visit Michael's grave.

You think she gives a damn
about your boss?

[Sasha] He k*lled my brother.

I'm not gonna let him take you too.

Whatever happens,

I promise… Sean Archer
is off your back for good.

[priest] My dear friends, we are here
to celebrate the life of Victor Lazarro.

In nomine Patris, et Filii,
et Spiritus Sancti, amen.

[priest continues in Latin]

[priest continues in Latin]

Amen.

[♪ "Miserere" by Allegri]

Somebody back there asked me
to give this to you.

[priest] In peace now let us take
our brother Victor to his place of rest.

[chants] Om.

[speaking mock Latin]

Isn't this religious?

[sighs]

Ah, yes. The eternal battle
between good and evil, saint and sinner.

But you're still not having any fun.

[chuckles] Ooh.

Honey? Honey.

[chuckles] Come here.

Ahh…

And guess what…
Your daughter's on the way.

History repeats itself.

This is between us.

- Leave them out of it.
- No. You should have left them out of it.

Your son was an accident.
I wanted to k*ll you.

But you took it so personally.

Why didn't you just
k*ll yourself or let it go?

- No father could.
- No brother could either.

Neither could a sister.

Hey, baby.

Sasha, what the f*ck
are you doing here?

Gee, Archer,
I guess I'm crashing.

- You OK, baby?
- Yeah. Thanks.

Sasha, "baby",
I'm Castor. That's Archer.

And I'm bored.

Put the f*cking g*n down.

[man] Why don't you put your g*ns down?

[giggles] Whee!

What a predicament! [laughs]

Yaah!

Ooh!

[g*nf*re continues]

Take care of our boy.

[sobs] I love him so much.

Don't let him grow up
to be like us. Promise?

Yeah.

Is he here?

Mom?

Aaaah!

[whimpers]

Aaaah!

Aah!

Jamie!

[Jamie screams]

Jamie, don't!

[screams]

Hello, Wanda?
Wanda, this is Eve Archer.

I have something crazy to tell you.

It's a capital crime to try to k*ll
the next big boss of the FBI, yes?

- Yes.
- Ah, yes.

- The penalty…
- Is what?

[Sean's voice] The penalty is death!

Die. Please, God. Die.

Hold it!

Ah! Good girl, Jamie. sh**t him!

Honey, don't listen to him.
He's not your father. Hear my voice.

I'm your father!

Use your eyes, Jamie. sh**t him!

Don't listen to him. Don't sh**t.

This scumbag… This scumbag
shot your brother, Jamie! k*ll him!

Aaah!

Clod.

No daughter of mine
would sh**t so wide.

Dad, put the g*n down.

Put it down.

Dad, put it down.

Now we're gonna find out
what's in Papa's bag,

Peaches.

[whimpers]

Say goodbye to Papa.

Aaaah!

Jamie!

[screaming]

[siren]

[screams] Jamie!

[sobs]

Jamie, are you all right?
Oh, my God.

Sir, are you OK?

[siren approaching]

[sobbing] Someone please tell me
what planet I'm on!

[g*nsh*t]

Get down!

[ship's horn]

Stop! This is the police.

Stop immediately,
or we will be forced to open fire!

Fire! Fire!

[all yelling]

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Ohh!

sh*t.

Aah!

Aaah!

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aaaah!

[groans] You're right, Sean.

I've misbehaved.
I need to be punished.

But remember.
Every time you look in the mirror,

you'll see my face.

Aaah!

Die!

[strained voice] ♪ Ready

♪ Ready for the big ride

- [sirens]
- ♪ Baby

[radio] …in the middle of the street…

You OK, Archer?

- What did you call me?
- He called you Archer, sir.

Sean.

They're bringing in their top surgical
team from DC. You're gonna be OK.

[siren]

When you wake up, everything
will be restored just the way it was.

My scar.

The one near my heart.

This old b*llet wound.

- I won't need it any more.
- OK.

Dad?

Dad?

I'm sorry I shot you.

I've got something
I have to ask both of you.

This is, um, Adam,

and he needs a place to live.

Hi.

My name's Jamie.

I'm Adam.

Why don't you show Adam
his new room?

Come on.

OK.

[♪ "Don't Lose Your Head" by INXS]

♪ You shot your mouth off
like a kid

♪ Who's scared to have a heart

♪ Losin' grip of what really matters

♪ Cos you don't know
where to start

♪ You wake up in the morning

♪ With a starfuck for a friend

♪ The things you do are so in tune

♪ With what you gonna pay

♪ What's givin' you the will to live

♪ Is lookin' for revenge

♪ The only life that you got left

♪ Is hidin' from the pain

♪ What must have happened
to your soul

♪ Is skinnin' you alive

♪ The thing you fear the most
is love

♪ And that's buried deep inside

♪ Yeah

♪ So deep inside

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ Cos I can't do the time

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ Or can you pay the price?

♪ The heart you're buildin' out of rock

♪ Is turnin' into sand

♪ Cos you never
took the time to think

♪ What it means to be a man

♪ You act like you got the answer

♪ When the question's never asked

♪ I've been to where you're comin' from

♪ But the postcards weren't so bad

♪ The knife I carry has been sharpened

♪ On the mouths that won't keep shut

♪ I'd stab at you in the darkness

♪ To try to shed some light

♪ Your point of view's so meaningless

♪ If you ever had one at all

♪ Well, all you seem to care about

♪ Is who's gonna take the fall

♪ Who's gonna take the fall for you?

♪ No, don't lose your head

♪ Now, I can't do the time for you

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ Now, can you pay the price?

♪ Yeah

♪ Mm-ma-ma-ma-ma

♪ Are you unworthy?

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ Cos I can't do the time.
Oh, yeah

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ Well, can you pay the price?

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ Cos I can't do the time.
Oh, yeah

- ♪ Don't lose your head
- ♪ All right

Well, can you pay the price?

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ Cos you can't do the time

♪ No, don't lose your head

♪ Cos you can't pay the price

- ♪ Don't lose your head
- ♪ If you can't pay the price

♪ Don't lose your head

♪ You know I can't do the time

♪ Yeah. You ain't worth it to me

- ♪ Don't lose your head
- ♪ Can't worry 'bout you, man