04x09 - Anniversary

[bunniefuu]

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

a 211 in progress.

One-Adam-12, handle code 3.

♪♪


dollar a man, that's $28.

I wasn't counting.
I was thinking.

You should've done that
before you volunteered.

Well, somebody had to do it.

You'll think of something.

Hey, how about a portable radio?

Do you know anybody

who doesn't have
a portable radio?

You're a big help.

An anniversary present

is supposed to
something they both enjoy.

Something they ordinarily
wouldn't buy for themselves.

Me and my big mouth.

I even have trouble picking
out a present for my wife.

Well, like you said,
somebody has to do it.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12.

See the man. A 39415.

19224 Franclaire
at the bar. Code 2.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

What's the trouble?

You guys better get some help.

There ain't no two men
going to take him out.

Look what he done to my face.

Listen to that. He's
wrecking the joint.

Do something.

Is he drunk?

Had a couple of beers.

He's mean. That's all.
Just plain, lousy mean.

On your feet, fellow.

Nothing I'd like better, cops.

Then you wouldn't
have to come to me.

Make it easy on yourself,
mister. Put the stick down.

I'm telling you guys,
you better get some help.

He'll brain you.

What are you waiting for, cops?

Don't let the chair stop you.

Come on.

Any time you're ready.

How do you arrest a
guy in a wheelchair?

The easiest way you can.

Not afraid of a cr*pple
with a little old stick?

Are you blue, boys?

Don't you think you've
caused enough trouble, Mister?

What's it going to get you?

That's my business.

You made it ours now.

So do something about it.

Show everybody what
big heroes you are.

Get him out of here, will you?

Take it easy.

Now, get this through
your head, Mister.

We're taking you out of
here one way or the other.

We'd like to do it the easy way.

It's up to you.

Sure, just say the word,

and I'll get up
and I'll walk out.

Believe me, Mister,
I wish you could.

Look, right now
you're sore at the world.

Maybe you got a reason to be,

but this isn't going
to solve anything.

Do you know what it's like

sitting in this lousy wheelchair

for the rest of your life?

Watching other people
do things you can't?

Having women look at you

like you was a hurt
dog or something?

I'm a man!

I was good.

Ask anybody in the business.

When Devil Dobish
climbed in the ring,

the customers knew they were
going to get their money's worth.

Ask anybody.

Just ask them.

How did it happen? Your legs?

A bug.

Do you believe that?

A lousy infection from a germ.

Polio?

A riot, isn't it?

Pinned for the count
by a lousy germ.

What started him?

Well, he was talking
about wrestling,

and some clown mouthed off

and says "All
wrestlers are phonies."

The next thing you know,
he's cleaning out the place.

And I try to grab him,

and I get an elbow in the face.

You want to press charges?

No, he's got enough trouble.

Why should I give him any more?

Makes you think, doesn't it?

I'm glad it turned
out the way it did.

You and me both.

- Hey, champagne.
- What?

Something they wouldn't
ordinarily buy for themselves.

That's what you said, isn't it?

I don't know.

There's got to be something
better than champagne.

I mean, they'll probably have
some friends and relatives over.

What could be better?

I got it.

All right, tell me.

Champagne.

Château Marmont
'59, the very best.

Sure is big.

Nobody makes them bigger,
and it makes a wonderful gift.

Hey, how did you
know it was for a gift?

Half my life in this business,

I should know what
people want for themselves

or when they want
to buy a present.

Who's it for?

It's MacDonald's 20th
wedding anniversary.

The boys chipped in.



My, how time flies.

I remember Mac when
he first came on this beat.

He didn't look old enough
to wear the uniform.



Well, I'll gift wrap
it for you myself,

you know, with a little
foil and a nice bow.

Wait a minute,
Bernie. How much is it?

Well, how much you
planning to spend?

No games, huh, Bernie?
We appreciate the thought,

but just tell us the price.

Do I tell you how to
run your business?

What I charge for my
merchandize is my business.

How much, Murphy?



It comes to 27.80
something. Right on the nose.

The sticker says $35.

So it's been reduced.

There's a law
against that, maybe?

Just show us something

for $28 exactly, including tax.

All right, gentlemen, no deals.

There we are.


And you want it
gift-wrapped, right?

Right.

Okay, that'll be
another 17 cents.

We'll pick it up later.

Okay.

Hey, Malloy, congratulations
on your promotion.

What about me? I have to
live with this rank-happy clown.

Rank-happy?

Oh, I'm not complaining, Pete.

I mean, it shows the
other guys on the watch

that I'm a pretty level-headed,
worthwhile policeman.

I'll bite.

Oh, I mean, you're the
head of a 10-car operation.

You've got that
star on your sleeve.

You're a policeman 3 plus 1.

That's almost as
good as a sergeant.

Pretty tough, huh?

Yeah.

He's still behind us.

Did you make the license?

No, he's too close.

He's been tailing
us for a long time.

He must have
something on his mind.

Do you think he's a weirdo?

Let's follow him for a while
and see what happens.

This is One-Adam-12
requesting want in DMV

on Zebra X-ray Ocean 177.

One-Adam-12, Zebra
X-ray Ocean 177.

Stand by.

One-Adam-12, no want.

Registered to Philip D. Heyes.

3917 Martin Way, Reseda.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

He's sure hinky.

Let's find out why.

All right, step out of the car.

Keep your hands
where I can see them.

Yes, sir. Anything
you say, Officer.

Step up on the curb.

Just give me a ticket.
I'll sign anything.

Let me see your license, please.

Uh, it's in my billfold.

Take it out.

Can I ask a question?

What is it, Mr. Heyes?

Well, what is it I
did wrong this time?

This is a 30-mile-an-hour zone.

You've been following us

at less than 20 for
quite awhile now.

We'd like to know why.

Well, I haven't
been following you.

I was just staying behind you.

Would you explain that?

Well, you'll never
believe it, officers.

Try us.

Well, I thought if I
stayed behind a police car,

I couldn't possibly
make any mistakes.

I don't think we
get you, Mr. Heyes.

Well, it all started last night.

I took my wife to dinner
at a place on Sunset Strip.

It was a nice dinner,
and we came out.

And then I'd noticed my
car had been towed away.

It was a tow-away zone.

I didn't see it when
I parked there.

Then I got my car
out of impound for $17.

Then on the way home, I got a
ticket for having my bright lights on.

Then it's about


and this morning I overslept,

and I had an urgent appointment.

And I got another ticket for
going 40 in a 30-mile zone.

And now this.

You mean you've
had three citations

and your car's been
impounded in the last 24 hours.

Yeah, I got them right on me.

I was just on my way
to the Automobile Club

when I saw a police car,
and I was afraid to pass.

Well, we're not going
to cite you, Mr. Heyes,

but would you
like a little advice?

Anything if it'll help
me stop getting tickets.

The only one who
can do that is you.

It's about following
police vehicles.

It's not a very good idea.

There are too many
oddballs running around,

and a lot of them
don't like police.

We have to be pretty careful.

Oh, I never thought of that,

but I know what you
mean. I read the papers.

And I won't do it again.

Uh, could I leave now?

Yes, just keep your mind on
what you're doing and relax.

- You'll be fine.
- Good. Thanks.

Have a nice day.

You, too.

Poor guy. No wonder he's
got black-and-white fever.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12.

A business dispute.


The used car lot. Code 2.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

El carro es muy malo.

I don't care, buddy.

You signed your name right
here on this piece of paper.

Now move it out of here.

No. No, señor. I
want mi dinero, señor.

I don't want no carro.

Oh, for the love of Pete!

But...

Anything I can do
for you, officers?

George Moore. I own the place.

We got a business
dispute call, Mr. Moore.

What's the trouble?

Business dispute?
I don't understand.

Well, it must be
some mistake, officer.

There's nothing wrong here.

Hey, I see you got one
of those new patrol cars.

How's she go?

When we drove in just now,

you and the other gentleman
didn't seem exactly friendly.

What's the problem?

Oh, that. Well, you know
the Latin temper, officer.

Even when they say hello,
it sounds like an argument.

Think nothing of it.

Please, señor. You give
me my money now, sí?

Oh, now I explained
all that to you, Mr. Diaz.

All sales are final. No refund.

But the carro is no
good. I did not buy.

You told me the money I
put is for seguridad, not buy it.

Yeah, you can't
please some people.

I bent over backwards
to make him a good deal,

and now he doesn't want it.

Please, Señor Moore.
My money, please.

Hey, you go wait in
the office, Mr. Diaz.

I'll be with you in a minute.

No. Oficina, no.

I want my money, please.

What money is he
talking about, Mr. Moore?

Oh, a down payment on a car.

He walked into the
place an hour ago.

Picked out a car,
made a deposit,

and signed a conditional
sales contract for the balance.

Well, here. See for yourself.

Is that the car?

Yeah.

A little old, but a real
cherry. Runs like a top.

Mr. Policeman, will you make him

give me my money, please?

We'll do what we can, Mr. Diaz.

$650 for this?

Yeah, if you
include the interest.

Isn't that a little high

for a 15-year-old
car, Mr. Moore?

I don't see that's any
of your business, Officer.

I got a $100 deposit
and a signed contract.

Now, if Mr. Diaz
doesn't like it,

you tell him to go see a lawyer.

Now, there's his signature,
and I've got a witness.

Now, if you're
satisfied, Officer,

I would appreciate it if you'd
pull your car off my property.

It's bad for business.

We got a call, Mr. Moore.
It's our job to investigate.

Well, I didn't call you.
Neither did the old man,

so if you'll excuse
me, I've got work to do.

You no get my money?

You signed a paper, Mr. Diaz.
Did you know what it was?

Sí, for seguridad.

Security.

Mr. Diaz wanted
to test drive the car.

Moore made him put up a deposit

and sign a paper for security
in case he had an accident.

Sí, for accident, but
me no have accident.

Do you read English, Mr. Diaz?

Muy poco, señor.

My English is not very good.

I don't care what
your feelings are.

I run a used car lot. I
make a profit selling cars.

Now, is that clear?

But, Mr. Moore,
he was only trying...

Yeah, I know.

Well, somebody
sure called us, partner.

I think maybe I know who it was.

Hang tight.

Is that clear?

Yes, Mr. Moore. I only meant...

I don't care what you meant.

Let her finish, Mr. Moore.

I'd like to hear
what she has to say.

Now, look, cop. You got no right

to come in here and
disrupt my business.

I'm investigating
a call, Mr. Moore.

I advise you not to interfere.

Go ahead and investigate.
I got nothing to hide.

Just one question, Miss.
Why did you call the police?

I...

Who said she called?

I warned you once, Mr. Moore.

It was you, wasn't it, Miss?

Yes.

Of all the stupid...
What did you do that for?

I don't need no cop to
handle a fruit picker like Diaz.

That's all he is to
you, huh, Mr. Moore?

Just a fruit picker?

You must have had a
reason, Miss. What was it?

I didn't want to see that
poor old man cheated.

That's all. It was
the last straw.

Okay, okay. So I'll give
him back his 100 bucks.

Does that make you happy?

And the contract?

Yeah, yeah, the contract, too.

He's right over there.
What are you waiting for?

Now you figure out
what's coming to you.

You're fired.

I'm glad it happened.

Working for him
made me feel dirty.

They way he leads people

and makes them sign
things they don't understand.

I felt sorry for Mr. Diaz.

I had to help him.

I had to.

Lieutenant Jacob Zanbunkow,

he'll be interested in the
way Moore does business.

I'll call him. Thank you.

Thank you.



That's robbery without a g*n.

It happens every
day. Not just with cars.

They sell some poor joker
something at an inflated price,

turn the contract over
to a collection agency

at half its face value.

And the next thing
the poor guys knows,

his salary is garnisheed,
or he's in court.

If it hadn't been for the girl,

Diaz really would've been stuck.

Too bad she had to lose her job.

She won't have to look
far to find a better one.

All units in the vicinity,

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

a 211 in progress. sh*ts fired.

19331 Clayborne.
The liquour store.

One-Adam-12, handle code 3.

Bernie's place.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

All right, let us through,
please. Excuse me.

Ambulance.

Bernie?

Malloy.

Don't try and talk, Bernie.

Why?

I gave him money. Why?

Excuse me.

It's all right, Bernie.
You're going to be all right.

Who are you, Mister?

Jim Blackman. I got the
guy stationed next door.

Did you see what happened?

I heard the shot, grabbed
my .22, and ran out.

I think I hit the
punk. I'm not sure.

Took off down the street on
a motorcycle heading west.

Can you give us a description?

Young, not more than 20.

Wearing a denim
jacket and blue jeans.

Blond hair, kind of long.

I'm pretty sure I nicked him.

It's too bad I didn't have my
.30-30 instead of that pop g*n.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Get this on the air right away.

He's riding a motorcycle.
Possibly wounded.

All units, 211 suspect
from 29331 Clayborne...

Malloy?

Mac's champagne...

on the counter.

Take it.

Hang in there,
Bernie. You'll make it.

Don't let it get you, Jim.

Things like this make
me want to throw up.

That's a good sign.

When they don't,
you're in trouble.

What's the trouble, fellows?

I don't know, Officer.

The motor sort of
clunked out on us.

Is this your camper?

Well, yeah. It's my camper.

Hey, maybe you
can give us a hand

and push it off the
center of the road.

If it's your camper,

then you have
the key for it, right?

Yeah, I got the key. What
kind of question is that?

The kind we ask
when we see a camper

that doesn't quite
fit on the pickup.

A lot of these camper bodies
have been stolen from driveways.

Open it up.

Hold it.

Turn around and put your
hands on top of your head

and interlace your fingers.

The dumb fink. The
thing wasn't even locked.

Boys, that was a good bust.

Those camper thefts have
been driving us up the wall.

Its over 100 in
the Valley alone.

Any word on Bernie?

He'll make it.

It was a clean wound,
missed the ribs.

Nothing on the suspect so far.

Now is as good a
time as any, partner.

A good a time as any for what?

Happy anniversary, Mac,
from the boys and Bernie.

Feeling better?

Yeah, a lot better.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

See the park attendant.
Man down, possible DB.

Woodley Avenue
entrance to Balboa Park.

Code 2.

One-Adam-12, Roger.

One shot fired.

Yep, the one that hit Bernie.

James A. Chambers,


West L.A.

D.O.B. 4/11/53.

He was 18.



That's $3.00 for
every year of his life.