♪ Take that ribbon from your
hair ♪
[applause]
Hair ♪
[applause]
♪ shake it loose ♪
[Applause]
♪ shake it loose ♪
♪ let it fall ♪
♪ Shake it loose ♪
♪ let it fall ♪
♪ laying soft against my skin ♪
♪ Let it fall ♪
♪ laying soft against my skin ♪
♪ like the shadows on the wall ♪
♪ Laying soft against my skin ♪
♪ like the shadows on the wall ♪
♪ come and lay down by my side ♪
♪ Like the shadows on the wall ♪
♪ come and lay down by my side ♪
♪ ooh ♪
♪ Come and lay down by my side ♪
♪ ooh ♪
♪ till the early morning
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ till the early morning
light ♪
♪ Till the early morning
light ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
Light ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
♪ all I'm taking is your
♪ Ooooooh ♪
♪ all I'm taking is your
time ♪
♪ All I'm taking is your
time ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
Time ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
♪ help me make it through
♪ Ooooooh ♪
♪ help me make it through
the night ♪
♪ Help me make it through
the night ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
The night ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
♪ I don't care what's right
♪ Ahhhhhh ♪
♪ I don't care what's right
or wrong ♪
♪ I don't care what's right
or wrong ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
Or wrong ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ Ahhhhhh ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ I don't try to understand ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I don't try to understand ♪
♪ not me, no ♪
♪ I don't try to understand ♪
♪ not me, no ♪
♪ let the devil take tomorrow ♪
♪ Not me, no ♪
♪ let the devil take tomorrow ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
♪ Let the devil take tomorrow ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
♪ 'cause tonight I need a
♪ Ahhhhhh ♪
♪ 'cause tonight I need a
friend ♪
♪ 'Cause tonight I need a
friend ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
Friend ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
♪ yesterday is dead and
♪ Ahhhhhh ♪
♪ yesterday is dead and
gone ♪
♪ Yesterday is dead and
gone ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
Gone ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
♪ and tomorrow's out of
♪ Ooooooh ♪
♪ and tomorrow's out of
sight ♪
♪ And tomorrow's out of
sight ♪
♪ ooooooh, ooh-ooh ♪
Sight ♪
♪ ooooooh, ooh-ooh ♪
♪ and it's sad to sleep
♪ Ooooooh, ooh-ooh ♪
♪ and it's sad to sleep
alone ♪
♪ And it's sad to sleep
alone ♪
♪ yeah ♪
Alone ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ help me make it through
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ help me make it through
the night ♪
♪ Help me make it through
the night ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
The night ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
♪ god knows it's
♪ Ahhhhhh ♪
♪ god knows it's
embarrassing ♪
♪ God knows it's
embarrassing ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
Embarrassing ♪
♪ ooooooh ♪
♪ help him make it through
♪ Ooooooh ♪
♪ help him make it through
the night ♪
♪ Help him make it through
the night ♪
♪ ahhhhhh ♪
Live from new york, it's
"saturday night"!
[Band plays]
Announcer: starring...
With his guest...
Ladies and gentlemen,
kris kristofferson.
[Cheers and applause]
Hey.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you.
It's great to be here.
Thank you.
It's great to be here.
We've been looking forward to
It's great to be here.
We've been looking forward to
working with these wackos for
We've been looking forward to
working with these wackos for
quite a while.
Working with these wackos for
quite a while.
We don't get to do all that much
Quite a while.
We don't get to do all that much
television, so it's pretty
We don't get to do all that much
television, so it's pretty
exciting for all of us.
Television, so it's pretty
exciting for all of us.
And I know rita's been dying to
Exciting for all of us.
And I know rita's been dying to
meet chevy.
And I know rita's been dying to
meet chevy.
Usually at this point in the
Meet chevy.
Usually at this point in the
show here is where they let the
Usually at this point in the
show here is where they let the
host, uh... Jar the audience,
Show here is where they let the
host, uh... Jar the audience,
spar with them, and set some
Host, uh... Jar the audience,
spar with them, and set some
kind of an atmosphere for the
Spar with them, and set some
kind of an atmosphere for the
rest of the show.
Kind of an atmosphere for the
rest of the show.
They didn't think I could do
Rest of the show.
They didn't think I could do
this.
They didn't think I could do
this.
Also, they have been getting in
This.
Also, they have been getting in
trouble lately.
Also, they have been getting in
trouble lately.
This has a little controversy on
Trouble lately.
This has a little controversy on
it every now and then.
This has a little controversy on
it every now and then.
And as a result of something
It every now and then.
And as a result of something
that happened recently, some
And as a result of something
that happened recently, some
equal time's been demanded for
That happened recently, some
equal time's been demanded for
this following individual.
Equal time's been demanded for
this following individual.
And, uh... You see why they
This following individual.
And, uh... You see why they
didn't let me do the monologue?
And, uh... You see why they
didn't let me do the monologue?
So, here she is, and we'll be
Didn't let me do the monologue?
So, here she is, and we'll be
right back after she has her
So, here she is, and we'll be
right back after she has her
say.
Thank you, mr. Kristofferson.
Hello.
My name is sherry norwalk, and I
Hello.
My name is sherry norwalk, and I
got special permission from
My name is sherry norwalk, and I
got special permission from
the fcc... That's the
Got special permission from
the fcc... That's the
federal communications club...
The fcc... That's the
federal communications club...
To come on television and tell
Federal communications club...
To come on television and tell
my story.
To come on television and tell
my story.
Okay, last october, I went up to
My story.
Okay, last october, I went up to
the "saturday night" offices
Okay, last october, I went up to
the "saturday night" offices
'cause I think the show is
The "saturday night" offices
'cause I think the show is
really boss, and I wanted
'Cause I think the show is
really boss, and I wanted
tickets.
Really boss, and I wanted
tickets.
Well, they were out of tickets.
Tickets.
Well, they were out of tickets.
But as I was leaving,
Well, they were out of tickets.
But as I was leaving,
dave wilson, the director, said
But as I was leaving,
dave wilson, the director, said
I had a bitching bod, and would
Dave wilson, the director, said
I had a bitching bod, and would
I like to come up and spend the
I had a bitching bod, and would
I like to come up and spend the
weekend with him up in
I like to come up and spend the
weekend with him up in
parsippany, new jersey,
Weekend with him up in
parsippany, new jersey,
'cause his wife was dead?
Parsippany, new jersey,
'cause his wife was dead?
So I went up, and it was really
'Cause his wife was dead?
So I went up, and it was really
great and everything, except his
So I went up, and it was really
great and everything, except his
wife wasn't really dead.
Great and everything, except his
wife wasn't really dead.
She'd just gone shopping.
Wife wasn't really dead.
She'd just gone shopping.
God, creative people can be so
She'd just gone shopping.
God, creative people can be so
forgetful.
God, creative people can be so
forgetful.
Anyways, I got this phone call
Forgetful.
Anyways, I got this phone call
from the show the next day, and
Anyways, I got this phone call
from the show the next day, and
they said that dave had
From the show the next day, and
they said that dave had
recommended me for a job as a
They said that dave had
recommended me for a job as a
secretary for $14,400 a year.
Recommended me for a job as a
secretary for $14,400 a year.
And they didn't even mind that I
Secretary for $14,400 a year.
And they didn't even mind that I
couldn't type or file or do
And they didn't even mind that I
couldn't type or file or do
shorthand.
Couldn't type or file or do
shorthand.
So, they told me I was gonna do
Shorthand.
So, they told me I was gonna do
light secretarial work and maybe
So, they told me I was gonna do
light secretarial work and maybe
help the writers out if I could
Light secretarial work and maybe
help the writers out if I could
sometimes.
Help the writers out if I could
sometimes.
And I did that.
Sometimes.
And I did that.
Like, alan zweibel... He's this
And I did that.
Like, alan zweibel... He's this
big jewish writer.
Like, alan zweibel... He's this
big jewish writer.
Well, he was really weird, man.
Big jewish writer.
Well, he was really weird, man.
He made me feel really guilty
Well, he was really weird, man.
He made me feel really guilty
about the way his people
He made me feel really guilty
about the way his people
suffered in egypt.
About the way his people
suffered in egypt.
So, he'd get undressed and have
Suffered in egypt.
So, he'd get undressed and have
me sing "go down, moses."
So, he'd get undressed and have
me sing "go down, moses."
It got stranger, man.
Me sing "go down, moses."
It got stranger, man.
I'm not kidding.
It got stranger, man.
I'm not kidding.
Like, did you know some comedy
I'm not kidding.
Like, did you know some comedy
writers don't like to work
Like, did you know some comedy
writers don't like to work
in the office?
Writers don't like to work
in the office?
They work at home and at night.
In the office?
They work at home and at night.
And they don't write things
They work at home and at night.
And they don't write things
down.
And they don't write things
down.
They act them out first.
Down.
They act them out first.
Like, tom schiller asked me to
They act them out first.
Like, tom schiller asked me to
act out a scene with him in his
Like, tom schiller asked me to
act out a scene with him in his
apartment.
Act out a scene with him in his
apartment.
Then he called two other
Apartment.
Then he called two other
writers, tom davis and
Then he called two other
writers, tom davis and
al franken, 'cause he said he
Writers, tom davis and
al franken, 'cause he said he
was having trouble with his
Al franken, 'cause he said he
was having trouble with his
inspiration.
Was having trouble with his
inspiration.
So, they came over, and we all
Inspiration.
So, they came over, and we all
acted out this scene, except it
So, they came over, and we all
acted out this scene, except it
wasn't in the show... Which I
Acted out this scene, except it
wasn't in the show... Which I
thought was really weird.
Wasn't in the show... Which I
thought was really weird.
And after a while, it got even
Thought was really weird.
And after a while, it got even
more disgusting.
And after a while, it got even
more disgusting.
Like, michael o'donoghue... He
More disgusting.
Like, michael o'donoghue... He
just couldn't finish writing the
Like, michael o'donoghue... He
just couldn't finish writing the
"star trek" skit unless I kept
Just couldn't finish writing the
"star trek" skit unless I kept
whispering to him the words,
"Star trek" skit unless I kept
whispering to him the words,
"rocket ships are okay, but your
Whispering to him the words,
"rocket ships are okay, but your
muscle is tremendous."
"Rocket ships are okay, but your
muscle is tremendous."
It was really disgusting.
Muscle is tremendous."
It was really disgusting.
And then there was herb sargent.
It was really disgusting.
And then there was herb sargent.
He's this older writer with
And then there was herb sargent.
He's this older writer with
white hair, and he was really
He's this older writer with
white hair, and he was really
like a father figure... A really
White hair, and he was really
like a father figure... A really
strict father.
Like a father figure... A really
strict father.
Like, you know, he used to take
Strict father.
Like, you know, he used to take
his belt and tie me up and
Like, you know, he used to take
his belt and tie me up and
spank me.
His belt and tie me up and
spank me.
And I didn't even do anything
Spank me.
And I didn't even do anything
wrong.
And I didn't even do anything
wrong.
Anyways, that's why I've written
Wrong.
Anyways, that's why I've written
this book.
Anyways, that's why I've written
this book.
It's called "I was not a sucker
This book.
It's called "I was not a sucker
for saturday night," 'cause I
It's called "I was not a sucker
for saturday night," 'cause I
really think the public has a
For saturday night," 'cause I
really think the public has a
right to know.
Really think the public has a
right to know.
[Telephone rings]
Right to know.
[Telephone rings]
"saturday night."
[Telephone rings]
"saturday night."
Yes, okay, I'll be right up.
"Saturday night."
Yes, okay, I'll be right up.
I have to help chevy write
Yes, okay, I'll be right up.
I have to help chevy write
"update."
I have to help chevy write
"update."
Okay, let's see.
"Update."
Okay, let's see.
Pad, pencil... And apparatus.
Okay, let's see.
Pad, pencil... And apparatus.
It's really disgusting.
[Speaking foreign language]
[Singing in foreign language]
[Speaking foreign language]
[shouts]
[shouts]
[Shouts]
[shouts]
[shouts]
[Shouts]
[shouts]
announcer: and now another
[Shouts]
announcer: and now another
episode of...
Hey, I can't tell you how I
appreciate this.
You know how hard it is to get a
Appreciate this.
You know how hard it is to get a
doctor to come out and work this
You know how hard it is to get a
doctor to come out and work this
time of night when you're on the
Doctor to come out and work this
time of night when you're on the
road, you don't know anybody?
Time of night when you're on the
road, you don't know anybody?
Holy moley.
Road, you don't know anybody?
Holy moley.
[Chuckles]
Holy moley.
[Chuckles]
[speaking foreign language]
[Chuckles]
[speaking foreign language]
[shouts]
[Speaking foreign language]
[shouts]
same old stuff.
[Shouts]
same old stuff.
[Shouts]
Same old stuff.
[Shouts]
it ain't like I'm dying, but
[Shouts]
it ain't like I'm dying, but
I ain't gonna live, either.
It ain't like I'm dying, but
I ain't gonna live, either.
[Speaking foreign language]
I ain't gonna live, either.
[Speaking foreign language]
I got my own doctor, but he's
[Speaking foreign language]
I got my own doctor, but he's
run off with a stripper in
I got my own doctor, but he's
run off with a stripper in
shreveport.
Run off with a stripper in
shreveport.
[Laughs]
Shreveport.
[Laughs]
[speaking indistinctly]
[Laughs]
[speaking indistinctly]
[speaking foreign language]
[Speaking indistinctly]
[speaking foreign language]
well, I had a friend of mine
[Speaking foreign language]
well, I had a friend of mine
who put on a few pounds, you
Well, I had a friend of mine
who put on a few pounds, you
know, with all that smoking,
Who put on a few pounds, you
know, with all that smoking,
drinking, and humma-humma-ing.
Know, with all that smoking,
drinking, and humma-humma-ing.
[Speaking foreign language]
Drinking, and humma-humma-ing.
[Speaking foreign language]
uh-oh.
[Speaking foreign language]
uh-oh.
[Speaking foreign language]
Uh-oh.
[Speaking foreign language]
you eat some strange things
[Speaking foreign language]
you eat some strange things
on the road.
You eat some strange things
on the road.
[Shouts]
On the road.
[Shouts]
[shouts]
[Shouts]
[shouts]
[speaking foreign language]
Thank god I wasn't too tall.
Wow.
You know something?
Wow.
You know something?
There are a lot of people who
You know something?
There are a lot of people who
are down on y'all.
There are a lot of people who
are down on y'all.
Yup.
Are down on y'all.
Yup.
You make too much money, I
Yup.
You make too much money, I
know.
You make too much money, I
know.
Mm-hmm.
Know.
Mm-hmm.
But I don't agree that you
Mm-hmm.
But I don't agree that you
really are screwing too many
But I don't agree that you
really are screwing too many
people out of too much.
Really are screwing too many
people out of too much.
I think it's the american way of
People out of too much.
I think it's the american way of
life that you ought to get what
I think it's the american way of
life that you ought to get what
you deserve.
Life that you ought to get what
you deserve.
Ooh, ooh.
You deserve.
Ooh, ooh.
What's that?
Ooh, ooh.
What's that?
[Speaking foreign language]
Hup!
I don't know.
Maybe what I need right now's a
I don't know.
Maybe what I need right now's a
really good rest, get away from
Maybe what I need right now's a
really good rest, get away from
it all.
Really good rest, get away from
it all.
[Speaking foreign language]
It all.
[Speaking foreign language]
I'm trying to quit.
[Speaking foreign language]
I'm trying to quit.
[Speaking foreign language]
I'm trying to quit.
[Speaking foreign language]
I get it.
[Speaking foreign language]
I get it.
[Speaking foreign language]
I get it.
[Speaking foreign language]
wee-wee, right?
[Speaking foreign language]
wee-wee, right?
[Shouts]
Wee-wee, right?
[Shouts]
[speaking foreign language]
You're not gonna believe
this.
Uh, this has never happened to
This.
Uh, this has never happened to
me before.
Uh, this has never happened to
me before.
But once in atlanta in a crowded
Me before.
But once in atlanta in a crowded
train station...
But once in atlanta in a crowded
train station...
[Speaking foreign language]
Train station...
[Speaking foreign language]
no problem.
[Speaking foreign language]
no problem.
No problem.
No problem.
No problem.
I could always try one more
No problem.
I could always try one more
time.
I could always try one more
time.
[Speaking foreign language]
Time.
[Speaking foreign language]
[humming]
[Speaking foreign language]
[humming]
oh, ho-ho!
[Humming]
oh, ho-ho!
[Singing in foreign language]
Oh, ho-ho!
[Singing in foreign language]
[speaking foreign language]
Well, you know, it's a wonder
what you can do when you're
motivated.
What you can do when you're
motivated.
I left that trash in the back
Motivated.
I left that trash in the back
there, though.
I left that trash in the back
there, though.
I know you can't really know the
There, though.
I know you can't really know the
results yet, but just your
I know you can't really know the
results yet, but just your
general impression... Am I gonna
Results yet, but just your
general impression... Am I gonna
make it?
General impression... Am I gonna
make it?
[Chuckles]
Make it?
[Chuckles]
[speaking foreign language]
[Chuckles]
[speaking foreign language]
I can take it standing up.
[Speaking foreign language]
I can take it standing up.
[Speaking foreign language]
I can take it standing up.
[Speaking foreign language]
I've been meaning to give up.
[Speaking foreign language]
I've been meaning to give up.
[Speaking foreign language]
I've been meaning to give up.
[Speaking foreign language]
it don't mean no more to me
[Speaking foreign language]
it don't mean no more to me
than anything else.
It don't mean no more to me
than anything else.
[Speaking foreign language]
Than anything else.
[Speaking foreign language]
yeah, you got that.
[Speaking foreign language]
yeah, you got that.
But, you know, that's just only
Yeah, you got that.
But, you know, that's just only
half the story.
But, you know, that's just only
half the story.
[Speaking foreign language]
Half the story.
[Speaking foreign language]
well, I was sort of hoping
[Speaking foreign language]
well, I was sort of hoping
you'd give me a script for
Well, I was sort of hoping
you'd give me a script for
something different.
You'd give me a script for
something different.
[Speaking foreign language]
Something different.
[Speaking foreign language]
aah!
[Speaking foreign language]
aah!
An apple?
Aah!
An apple?
[Speaking foreign language]
An apple?
[Speaking foreign language]
I couldn't even find a whole
[Speaking foreign language]
I couldn't even find a whole
apple on the road a day.
I couldn't even find a whole
apple on the road a day.
[Speaking foreign language]
Apple on the road a day.
[Speaking foreign language]
[shouts]
[Speaking foreign language]
[shouts]
[humming]
[Shouts]
[humming]
[speaking foreign language]
[Humming]
[speaking foreign language]
I reckon that half that would
[Speaking foreign language]
I reckon that half that would
be too much, I'll tell you what.
I reckon that half that would
be too much, I'll tell you what.
Best of all, would you just
Be too much, I'll tell you what.
Best of all, would you just
contact my accountant and send
Best of all, would you just
contact my accountant and send
the bill?
Contact my accountant and send
the bill?
Don't worry no more about no
The bill?
Don't worry no more about no
apples or nothing.
Don't worry no more about no
apples or nothing.
[Speaking foreign language]
Apples or nothing.
[Speaking foreign language]
wait a minute.
[Speaking foreign language]
wait a minute.
There's one more thing... If you
Wait a minute.
There's one more thing... If you
could help me out with, you
There's one more thing... If you
could help me out with, you
know, this damn knot.
Could help me out with, you
know, this damn knot.
[Speaking foreign language]
Know, this damn knot.
[Speaking foreign language]
how come they build them
[Speaking foreign language]
how come they build them
backwards?
How come they build them
backwards?
[Laughs]
Backwards?
[Laughs]
[shouts]
[Laughs]
[shouts]
[shouts]
[Shouts]
[shouts]
[speaking foreign language]
[Shouts]
[speaking foreign language]
announcer: tune in next week
[Speaking foreign language]
announcer: tune in next week
for another episode of...
Announcer: ladies and
gentlemen, rita coolidge.
[Cheers and applause]
Gentlemen, rita coolidge.
[Cheers and applause]
♪ somewhere in the
[Cheers and applause]
♪ somewhere in the
hierarchies ♪
♪ Somewhere in the
hierarchies ♪
♪ mr. Big picks up his horn ♪
Hierarchies ♪
♪ mr. Big picks up his horn ♪
♪ floats a note down to the
♪ Mr. Big picks up his horn ♪
♪ floats a note down to the
lowlands ♪
♪ Floats a note down to the
lowlands ♪
♪ and another star is born ♪
Lowlands ♪
♪ and another star is born ♪
♪ then he turns another
♪ And another star is born ♪
♪ then he turns another
billion ♪
♪ Then he turns another
billion ♪
♪ and he deals a little porn ♪
Billion ♪
♪ and he deals a little porn ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ And he deals a little porn ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ I ain't never been to
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ I ain't never been to
art school ♪
♪ I ain't never been to
art school ♪
♪ but I kind of like picasso ♪
Art school ♪
♪ but I kind of like picasso ♪
♪ all his women look egyptian ♪
♪ But I kind of like picasso ♪
♪ all his women look egyptian ♪
♪ but then what the hell do
♪ All his women look egyptian ♪
♪ but then what the hell do
I know? ♪
♪ But then what the hell do
I know? ♪
♪ He's a number-one attraction ♪
I know? ♪
♪ He's a number-one attraction ♪
♪ like a bottle to a wino ♪
♪ He's a number-one attraction ♪
♪ like a bottle to a wino ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ Like a bottle to a wino ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ If you're bound to be a big
star ♪
♪ then you better do it right ♪
Star ♪
♪ then you better do it right ♪
♪ got to get yourself a
♪ Then you better do it right ♪
♪ got to get yourself a
patent ♪
♪ Got to get yourself a
patent ♪
♪ and a healthy appetite ♪
Patent ♪
♪ and a healthy appetite ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ And a healthy appetite ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ for some overpaid attention ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ for some overpaid attention ♪
♪ and a lot of neon lights ♪
♪ For some overpaid attention ♪
♪ and a lot of neon lights ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ And a lot of neon lights ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ somewhere in the hierarchies ♪
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ somewhere in the hierarchies ♪
♪ mr. Big picks up his horn ♪
♪ Somewhere in the hierarchies ♪
♪ mr. Big picks up his horn ♪
♪ floats a note down to the
♪ Mr. Big picks up his horn ♪
♪ floats a note down to the
lowlands ♪
♪ Floats a note down to the
lowlands ♪
♪ and another star is born ♪
Lowlands ♪
♪ and another star is born ♪
♪ then he turns another
♪ And another star is born ♪
♪ then he turns another
billion ♪
♪ Then he turns another
billion ♪
♪ and he deals a little porn ♪
Billion ♪
♪ and he deals a little porn ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ And he deals a little porn ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ Hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
♪ hoo-hoola hoop ♪
[Cheers and applause]
[Applause]
Hello, I'm jesse owens, here
To make you an offer of lasting
Value.
For a limited time only, the
American olympic committee
Together with the government of
Canada are offering these
Beautiful olympic medallions,
Commemorating some of the last
Of a dying breed... The great
White athlete.
For only $45, you can own the
Entire set with white heroes
Of hockey, swimming, and
Spear chucking... Um...
I mean javelin throw.
Hurry and send in now while they
Last, h*nky.
Announcer: that's...
[Buzzer]
Hello.
Yes?
Yes, please.
Yes?
Did you buzz?
Hello?
Did you buzz?
Hello?
Excuse me, mr. President.
Hello?
Excuse me, mr. President.
Mr. Frank wade, the uncommitted
Excuse me, mr. President.
Mr. Frank wade, the uncommitted
delegate from mississippi, is
Mr. Frank wade, the uncommitted
delegate from mississippi, is
here.
Delegate from mississippi, is
here.
Send him in right away
Here.
Send him in right away
please.
Hello there, frank.
May I call you "mr. Wade"?
Sure can, jerry.
May I call you "mr. Wade"?
Sure can, jerry.
[Chuckles]
Sure can, jerry.
[Chuckles]
call me "mr. President."
[Chuckles]
call me "mr. President."
Don't be silly.
Call me "mr. President."
Don't be silly.
Yes, sir, mr. President.
Don't be silly.
Yes, sir, mr. President.
"Jerry" is fine.
Yes, sir, mr. President.
"Jerry" is fine.
Sit down, frank.
"Jerry" is fine.
Sit down, frank.
Thank you, jerry, sir.
Sit down, frank.
Thank you, jerry, sir.
Now, uh, jerry?
Thank you, jerry, sir.
Now, uh, jerry?
Yes?
Now, uh, jerry?
Yes?
I didn't accept your kind
Yes?
I didn't accept your kind
invitation to washington just
I didn't accept your kind
invitation to washington just
for a chance to fly on
Invitation to washington just
for a chance to fly on
air force one.
For a chance to fly on
air force one.
You see, being an uncommitted
Air force one.
You see, being an uncommitted
delegate from jackson county, I
You see, being an uncommitted
delegate from jackson county, I
got to represent the interests
Delegate from jackson county, I
got to represent the interests
of my citizens.
Got to represent the interests
of my citizens.
Absolutely, yes.
Of my citizens.
Absolutely, yes.
Now, we're interested in
Absolutely, yes.
Now, we're interested in
securing federal funds for our
Now, we're interested in
securing federal funds for our
new sewer and water project.
Securing federal funds for our
new sewer and water project.
Mm-hmm.
New sewer and water project.
Mm-hmm.
And, uh...
Mm-hmm.
And, uh...
So, you're from mississippi.
And, uh...
So, you're from mississippi.
Yes, from jackson county.
So, you're from mississippi.
Yes, from jackson county.
And we have a new water and...
Yes, from jackson county.
And we have a new water and...
Now, I know that the favorite
And we have a new water and...
Now, I know that the favorite
summer drink in the deep south
Now, I know that the favorite
summer drink in the deep south
is the mint tulip.
Summer drink in the deep south
is the mint tulip.
So I've had our staff prepare
Is the mint tulip.
So I've had our staff prepare
some.
So I've had our staff prepare
some.
May I offer you one?
Some.
May I offer you one?
Yes, sir.
May I offer you one?
Yes, sir.
I truly do love a mint julep.
Yes, sir.
I truly do love a mint julep.
You know, in michigan, we
I truly do love a mint julep.
You know, in michigan, we
have a summer drink with mint in
You know, in michigan, we
have a summer drink with mint in
it I'll never forget.
Have a summer drink with mint in
it I'll never forget.
We use to call it ice tea.
It I'll never forget.
We use to call it ice tea.
Mr. President, there's a
We use to call it ice tea.
Mr. President, there's a
flower in my drink.
Mr. President, there's a
flower in my drink.
Oh, that's the tulip.
Flower in my drink.
Oh, that's the tulip.
Now, I figure the funds for
Oh, that's the tulip.
Now, I figure the funds for
this water-supply system could
Now, I figure the funds for
this water-supply system could
be made available by a simple
This water-supply system could
be made available by a simple
reversal of a decision made in
Be made available by a simple
reversal of a decision made in
the transportation department
Reversal of a decision made in
the transportation department
last year.
The transportation department
last year.
You see, in jackson county, we
Last year.
You see, in jackson county, we
couldn't accept contracting bids
You see, in jackson county, we
couldn't accept contracting bids
from independent contractors...
Couldn't accept contracting bids
from independent contractors...
Excuse me just a minute,
From independent contractors...
Excuse me just a minute,
mr. Wade.
Excuse me just a minute,
mr. Wade.
I like small talk as nuch as the
Mr. Wade.
I like small talk as nuch as the
mext man.
I like small talk as nuch as the
mext man.
I'm sorry.
Mext man.
I'm sorry.
I like small talk as much as the
I'm sorry.
I like small talk as much as the
next man.
I like small talk as much as the
next man.
Don't you think we should get
Next man.
Don't you think we should get
down to business?
Don't you think we should get
down to business?
Now, there's a big election
Down to business?
Now, there's a big election
coming up, and I think you
Now, there's a big election
coming up, and I think you
should get behind your president
Coming up, and I think you
should get behind your president
110%.
Should get behind your president
110%.
Well, frankly, sir, I had
110%.
Well, frankly, sir, I had
been leaning toward reagan till
Well, frankly, sir, I had
been leaning toward reagan till
he destroyed his credibility by
Been leaning toward reagan till
he destroyed his credibility by
picking schweiker as a
He destroyed his credibility by
picking schweiker as a
running mate.
Picking schweiker as a
running mate.
Yes, it certainly was a
Running mate.
Yes, it certainly was a
clumsy move.
Yes, it certainly was a
clumsy move.
[Glass crashes]
Clumsy move.
[Glass crashes]
yes, and i, uh, can't see no
[Glass crashes]
yes, and i, uh, can't see no
problem now why we can't throw
Yes, and i, uh, can't see no
problem now why we can't throw
the full support of
Problem now why we can't throw
the full support of
jackson county behind the...
The full support of
jackson county behind the...
The, uh, ford campaign if we
Jackson county behind the...
The, uh, ford campaign if we
can come to some... Agreement
The, uh, ford campaign if we
can come to some... Agreement
about the sewer and the water
Can come to some... Agreement
about the sewer and the water
system, sir.
About the sewer and the water
system, sir.
I see.
System, sir.
I see.
Well, perhaps, then, there's
I see.
Well, perhaps, then, there's
some pet project you have in
Well, perhaps, then, there's
some pet project you have in
mind that I could help you along
Some pet project you have in
mind that I could help you along
with, something in your
Mind that I could help you along
with, something in your
locality.
With, something in your
locality.
I understand you're from
Locality.
I understand you're from
jackson county.
I understand you're from
jackson county.
Is that it?
Jackson county.
Is that it?
Yes, sir.
Is that it?
Yes, sir.
We have a water and a sewer
Yes, sir.
We have a water and a sewer
system that we need federal
We have a water and a sewer
system that we need federal
funds for.
System that we need federal
funds for.
Yes.
Funds for.
Yes.
The federal funds are being
Yes.
The federal funds are being
held up by the transportation
The federal funds are being
held up by the transportation
department.
Held up by the transportation
department.
Let me get this straight,
Department.
Let me get this straight,
wade.
Let me get this straight,
wade.
You have sewage in your water?
Wade.
You have sewage in your water?
No.
You have sewage in your water?
No.
No.
No.
No.
Uh, would you like something to
No.
Uh, would you like something to
eat, then?
Uh, would you like something to
eat, then?
No.
Eat, then?
No.
Betty... Would you, uh...
No.
Betty... Would you, uh...
Betty, would you please bring in
Betty... Would you, uh...
Betty, would you please bring in
the hors d'raves... Ah d'ross...
Betty, would you please bring in
the hors d'raves... Ah d'ross...
Horvs d'andres...
The hors d'raves... Ah d'ross...
Horvs d'andres...
Hors d'oeuvres?
Horvs d'andres...
Hors d'oeuvres?
Thank you.
Hors d'oeuvres?
Thank you.
I'm sure you must know that
Thank you.
I'm sure you must know that
mr. Kissinger may not be with us
I'm sure you must know that
mr. Kissinger may not be with us
long, frank, and this could be a
Mr. Kissinger may not be with us
long, frank, and this could be a
good opportunity for you and I
Long, frank, and this could be a
good opportunity for you and I
to perhaps... Ah, here comes
Good opportunity for you and I
to perhaps... Ah, here comes
mrs. President with the
To perhaps... Ah, here comes
mrs. President with the
hors d'raves.
Mrs. President with the
hors d'raves.
Oh, don't stand.
Hors d'raves.
Oh, don't stand.
Don't stand.
Oh, don't stand.
Don't stand.
All right.
Don't stand.
All right.
Now, I'll be brutally blunt,
All right.
Now, I'll be brutally blunt,
mr. Wade.
Now, I'll be brutally blunt,
mr. Wade.
Have you ever wanted to be
Mr. Wade.
Have you ever wanted to be
secretary of state?
Have you ever wanted to be
secretary of state?
Oh, now, honey, don't make
Secretary of state?
Oh, now, honey, don't make
promises you can't keep.
Oh, now, honey, don't make
promises you can't keep.
I'm sure there's some other way
Promises you can't keep.
I'm sure there's some other way
we could help mr. Wade.
I'm sure there's some other way
we could help mr. Wade.
Well, as a matter of fact, I
We could help mr. Wade.
Well, as a matter of fact, I
was trying to tell the
Well, as a matter of fact, I
was trying to tell the
president, ma'am, about the
Was trying to tell the
president, ma'am, about the
difficulties my county's having
President, ma'am, about the
difficulties my county's having
getting the federal fund for
Difficulties my county's having
getting the federal fund for
some water and sewage system
Getting the federal fund for
some water and sewage system
that we've been trying to get.
Some water and sewage system
that we've been trying to get.
Have federal funds been held
That we've been trying to get.
Have federal funds been held
up by an executive agency?
Have federal funds been held
up by an executive agency?
Yes, by the
Up by an executive agency?
Yes, by the
transportation department.
Yes, by the
transportation department.
Well, I'm sure the
Transportation department.
Well, I'm sure the
president's staff can make a few
Well, I'm sure the
president's staff can make a few
phone calls and everything will
President's staff can make a few
phone calls and everything will
be cleared right up.
Phone calls and everything will
be cleared right up.
Ma'am, I can't tell you how
Be cleared right up.
Ma'am, I can't tell you how
that makes me feel, and I just
Ma'am, I can't tell you how
that makes me feel, and I just
can't see how we can't get fully
That makes me feel, and I just
can't see how we can't get fully
behind the ford campaign in
Can't see how we can't get fully
behind the ford campaign in
jackson county.
Behind the ford campaign in
jackson county.
Well, I guess I got to go.
Jackson county.
Well, I guess I got to go.
Got to go.
Well, I guess I got to go.
Got to go.
Yeah, time to go.
Got to go.
Yeah, time to go.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, time to go.
Mm-hmm.
[Crashing]
Mm-hmm.
[Crashing]
uh, honey, it's time for
[Crashing]
uh, honey, it's time for
mr. Wade to go.
Uh, honey, it's time for
mr. Wade to go.
I'm sorry.
Mr. Wade to go.
I'm sorry.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
Of course.
Thank you for coming, mr. Wade.
Of course.
Thank you for coming, mr. Wade.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for coming, mr. Wade.
I'm sorry.
Go right ahead.
I'm sorry.
Go right ahead.
Would you like something to eat,
Go right ahead.
Would you like something to eat,
perhaps?
Would you like something to eat,
perhaps?
Betty, would you bring in the
Perhaps?
Betty, would you bring in the
hors d'oeuvres?
Betty, would you bring in the
hors d'oeuvres?
Ah.
Hors d'oeuvres?
Ah.
Be careful, honey.
Ah.
Be careful, honey.
You just ate a toothpick.
Be careful, honey.
You just ate a toothpick.
What's that stuff?
You just ate a toothpick.
What's that stuff?
Food.
What's that stuff?
Food.
Ah.
Food.
Ah.
Thank you, betty.
Ah.
Thank you, betty.
I'm sorry, honey.
Thank you, betty.
I'm sorry, honey.
I got it.
I'm sorry, honey.
I got it.
Time for bed, jerry.
I got it.
Time for bed, jerry.
I'll sit here now.
Hey, ace, what do you say we
eat chinese tonight?
I don't know, partner.
Eat chinese tonight?
I don't know, partner.
Seems to me, uh, we ate chinese
I don't know, partner.
Seems to me, uh, we ate chinese
a couple of nights ago.
Seems to me, uh, we ate chinese
a couple of nights ago.
[Scoffs]
A couple of nights ago.
[Scoffs]
that wasn't chinese.
[Scoffs]
that wasn't chinese.
That was polynesian.
That wasn't chinese.
That was polynesian.
Same difference, pal.
That was polynesian.
Same difference, pal.
Same difference.
Same difference, pal.
Same difference.
[Alarm beeping]
Same difference.
[Alarm beeping]
it's a code 5.
[Alarm beeping]
it's a code 5.
Let's roll.
[Siren wailing]
los angeles, california,
1976... A pretty tough town.
Los angeles, california,
1976... A pretty tough town.
Remember all those people you
1976... A pretty tough town.
Remember all those people you
saw locked up on "dragnet"?
Remember all those people you
saw locked up on "dragnet"?
Well, they're out now... Every
Saw locked up on "dragnet"?
Well, they're out now... Every
one of them.
Well, they're out now... Every
one of them.
They're out, and it takes a new
One of them.
They're out, and it takes a new
breed of cop to handle them.
They're out, and it takes a new
breed of cop to handle them.
This is the story of that new
Breed of cop to handle them.
This is the story of that new
breed.
[Cars crashing]
"Police state."
[Siren wailing, cars crashing]
Yes?
I'd like a word with you,
sir.
I'd like a word with you,
sir.
Sure thing.
Sir.
Sure thing.
Hey, babe, how about italian?
Sure thing.
Hey, babe, how about italian?
Nah, how about indian?
Hey, babe, how about italian?
Nah, how about indian?
You want to eat indian?
Nah, how about indian?
You want to eat indian?
You could have chicken curry.
You want to eat indian?
You could have chicken curry.
What do you say?
You could have chicken curry.
What do you say?
I don't know, bro.
What do you say?
I don't know, bro.
That stuff always upsets my
I don't know, bro.
That stuff always upsets my
stomach, you know.
That stuff always upsets my
stomach, you know.
How about greek?
Stomach, you know.
How about greek?
We could have some lamb
How about greek?
We could have some lamb
shish kebab.
We could have some lamb
shish kebab.
Now, that won't upset your
Shish kebab.
Now, that won't upset your
stomach.
Now, that won't upset your
stomach.
[Alarm beeping]
Stomach.
[Alarm beeping]
it's a code 1114.
[Alarm beeping]
it's a code 1114.
Let's roll.
[Brakes screech]
[cars crashing]
[siren wailing]
[Cars crashing]
[siren wailing]
[crashing continues]
[Siren wailing]
[crashing continues]
[wailing continues]
[Crashing continues]
[wailing continues]
okay, hold it right there!
[Wailing continues]
okay, hold it right there!
Okay, freeze!
Okay, hold it right there!
Okay, freeze!
You have the right to remain
Okay, freeze!
You have the right to remain
silent.
You have the right to remain
silent.
You have the right to an
Silent.
You have the right to an
attorney and to have that
You have the right to an
attorney and to have that
attorney present during
Attorney and to have that
attorney present during
questioning.
Attorney present during
questioning.
How about italian?
Questioning.
How about italian?
You always like italian.
How about italian?
You always like italian.
Give me a break.
You always like italian.
Give me a break.
Yeah, I'm trying to lose a few
Give me a break.
Yeah, I'm trying to lose a few
pounds, you know.
Yeah, I'm trying to lose a few
pounds, you know.
Anything you say can and will be
Pounds, you know.
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in evidence.
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in evidence.
Hey, how about french?
Used against you in evidence.
Hey, how about french?
You mean that little place
Hey, how about french?
You mean that little place
over on alameda with the colored
You mean that little place
over on alameda with the colored
umbrellas?
Over on alameda with the colored
umbrellas?
Hey, listen, old buddy.
Umbrellas?
Hey, listen, old buddy.
You can get a nice brook trout,
Hey, listen, old buddy.
You can get a nice brook trout,
a carafe of white wine, a
You can get a nice brook trout,
a carafe of white wine, a
small endive salad.
A carafe of white wine, a
small endive salad.
[Alarm beeping]
Small endive salad.
[Alarm beeping]
it's a code 609.
[Alarm beeping]
it's a code 609.
Let's roll.
It's a code 609.
Let's roll.
[Cars crashing]
Let's roll.
[Cars crashing]
[siren wailing]
[Cars crashing]
[siren wailing]
[crashing continues]
[Siren wailing]
[crashing continues]
[g*nsh*t]
[Crashing continues]
[g*nsh*t]
aah! Aah!
[g*nsh*t]
aah! Aah!
[g*nshots]
Aah! Aah!
[g*nshots]
stop or I'll sh**t!
Hey, champ.
How would you feel about
mexican?
How would you feel about
mexican?
Would you like to, uh, k*ll
Mexican?
Would you like to, uh, k*ll
mexican tonight?
Would you like to, uh, k*ll
mexican tonight?
Didn't we, uh, k*ll mexican
Mexican tonight?
Didn't we, uh, k*ll mexican
last night?
Didn't we, uh, k*ll mexican
last night?
That wasn't mexican.
Last night?
That wasn't mexican.
That was filipino.
That wasn't mexican.
That was filipino.
601, Amigo. 601.
That was filipino.
601, Amigo. 601.
[Laughs]
601, Amigo. 601.
[Laughs]
let's go get a bite to eat.
[Laughs]
let's go get a bite to eat.
Okay.
This is jeremy musk.
Here are some scenes from the
next episode of "police state."
Here are some scenes from the
next episode of "police state."
[Cars crashing]
Announcer: stay tuned for
"S.w.a.t. Police tailor"...
An officer's first duty is to
His uniform.
[Cheers]
Announcer: and now,
"weekend update" with don pardo.
Don pardo, the official
"Weekend update" with don pardo.
Don pardo, the official
announcer of the 1976 olympic
Don pardo, the official
announcer of the 1976 olympic
games.
Announcer of the 1976 olympic
games.
Well, I don't know.
Games.
Well, I don't know.
As far as anyone around here can
Well, I don't know.
As far as anyone around here can
tell, he's just a washed-up
As far as anyone around here can
tell, he's just a washed-up
game-show announcer.
Tell, he's just a washed-up
game-show announcer.
He was an alcoholic for a while,
Game-show announcer.
He was an alcoholic for a while,
a drug addict, a lot of
He was an alcoholic for a while,
a drug addict, a lot of
misplaced rage and anger.
A drug addict, a lot of
misplaced rage and anger.
I think he just wants to be
Misplaced rage and anger.
I think he just wants to be
on-camera, and basically he's
I think he just wants to be
on-camera, and basically he's
jealous.
On-camera, and basically he's
jealous.
Got to go.
Jealous.
Got to go.
Good evening.
Got to go.
Good evening.
I'm chevy chase, and you're not.
Good evening.
I'm chevy chase, and you're not.
Announcer: nobody wants to
I'm chevy chase, and you're not.
Announcer: nobody wants to
be, chubby.
Announcer: nobody wants to
be, chubby.
Our top story tonight...
Be, chubby.
Our top story tonight...
Olga korbut began the long,
Our top story tonight...
Olga korbut began the long,
hard trek to the 1980 olympic
Olga korbut began the long,
hard trek to the 1980 olympic
games after having suffered a
Hard trek to the 1980 olympic
games after having suffered a
humiliating defeat last week.
Games after having suffered a
humiliating defeat last week.
Her first steps in the healing
Humiliating defeat last week.
Her first steps in the healing
process will include hypnosis to
Her first steps in the healing
process will include hypnosis to
improve her concentration,
Process will include hypnosis to
improve her concentration,
isometrics to improve muscle
Improve her concentration,
isometrics to improve muscle
tone, and the mistaken sh**ting
Isometrics to improve muscle
tone, and the mistaken sh**ting
of nadia comaneci to improve
Tone, and the mistaken sh**ting
of nadia comaneci to improve
her chances.
Of nadia comaneci to improve
her chances.
President ford arrived at the
Her chances.
President ford arrived at the
olympic stadium earlier today to
President ford arrived at the
olympic stadium earlier today to
meet with and congratulate the
Olympic stadium earlier today to
meet with and congratulate the
many american gold medalists.
Meet with and congratulate the
many american gold medalists.
Not surprisingly, none of the
Many american gold medalists.
Not surprisingly, none of the
athletes were in munich.
Not surprisingly, none of the
athletes were in munich.
Said the bewildered
Athletes were in munich.
Said the bewildered
chief of state, "congratulations
Said the bewildered
chief of state, "congratulations
to all of you.
Chief of state, "congratulations
to all of you.
Where are you?"
To all of you.
Where are you?"
Well, it's been exactly a year
Where are you?"
Well, it's been exactly a year
and a day since ex-teamsters
Well, it's been exactly a year
and a day since ex-teamsters
boss jimmy hoffa vanished.
And a day since ex-teamsters
boss jimmy hoffa vanished.
In commemoration, today current
Boss jimmy hoffa vanished.
In commemoration, today current
teamster president
In commemoration, today current
teamster president
frank fitzsimmons once again
Teamster president
frank fitzsimmons once again
mourned the disappearance of his
Frank fitzsimmons once again
mourned the disappearance of his
longtime associate by placing a
Mourned the disappearance of his
longtime associate by placing a
single candle in a cake of
Longtime associate by placing a
single candle in a cake of
cement and repeating that he
Single candle in a cake of
cement and repeating that he
felt hoffa would always be a
Cement and repeating that he
felt hoffa would always be a
cornerstone in the organization.
Felt hoffa would always be a
cornerstone in the organization.
For the first time ever, a black
Cornerstone in the organization.
For the first time ever, a black
man has won the bob hope
For the first time ever, a black
man has won the bob hope
golf classic.
Man has won the bob hope
golf classic.
Quipped the victor, "I used to
Golf classic.
Quipped the victor, "I used to
be a caddie, and now I drive
Quipped the victor, "I used to
be a caddie, and now I drive
one."
Be a caddie, and now I drive
one."
The tournament's sponsor,
One."
The tournament's sponsor,
bob hope himself, is shown here
The tournament's sponsor,
bob hope himself, is shown here
lining up his putz.
Bob hope himself, is shown here
lining up his putz.
Ronald reagan announced today
Lining up his putz.
Ronald reagan announced today
that he has more than the 1,130
Ronald reagan announced today
that he has more than the 1,130
delegates need to win the
That he has more than the 1,130
delegates need to win the
republican presidential
Delegates need to win the
republican presidential
nomination.
Republican presidential
nomination.
However, reagan conceded that
Nomination.
However, reagan conceded that
president ford may also have
However, reagan conceded that
president ford may also have
more than enough delegates to be
President ford may also have
more than enough delegates to be
nominated.
More than enough delegates to be
nominated.
Reagan warned that having two
Nominated.
Reagan warned that having two
nominees could hurt the
Reagan warned that having two
nominees could hurt the
republicans in november.
Nominees could hurt the
republicans in november.
Reagan picked his choice of a
Republicans in november.
Reagan picked his choice of a
vice-presidential running mate
Reagan picked his choice of a
vice-presidential running mate
this week in a surprise move
Vice-presidential running mate
this week in a surprise move
that may hurt his chances in the
This week in a surprise move
that may hurt his chances in the
upcoming convention.
That may hurt his chances in the
upcoming convention.
Reagan has told newsmen that
Upcoming convention.
Reagan has told newsmen that
senator richard schweiker of
Reagan has told newsmen that
senator richard schweiker of
pennsylvania will broaden his
Senator richard schweiker of
pennsylvania will broaden his
constituency and improve his
Pennsylvania will broaden his
constituency and improve his
knowledge of foreign affairs.
Constituency and improve his
knowledge of foreign affairs.
Asked what his current
Knowledge of foreign affairs.
Asked what his current
assessment of our foreign policy
Asked what his current
assessment of our foreign policy
is, schweiker said, "the world
Assessment of our foreign policy
is, schweiker said, "the world
is becoming a closer place, and
Is, schweiker said, "the world
is becoming a closer place, and
beirut is a part of it," to the
Is becoming a closer place, and
beirut is a part of it," to the
confusion of everyone.
Beirut is a part of it," to the
confusion of everyone.
Well, the big story from mars
Confusion of everyone.
Well, the big story from mars
this week was the repair of the
Well, the big story from mars
this week was the repair of the
pin in viking 1's scoop, which
This week was the repair of the
pin in viking 1's scoop, which
made it possible to gather soil
Pin in viking 1's scoop, which
made it possible to gather soil
from the planet's surface and
Made it possible to gather soil
from the planet's surface and
conduct tests to see if life can
From the planet's surface and
conduct tests to see if life can
exist there.
Conduct tests to see if life can
exist there.
On wednesday, the scoop was
Exist there.
On wednesday, the scoop was
extended, and while analysis of
On wednesday, the scoop was
extended, and while analysis of
the soil is still not complete,
Extended, and while analysis of
the soil is still not complete,
scientists are almost certain
The soil is still not complete,
scientists are almost certain
that life cannot and has never
Scientists are almost certain
that life cannot and has never
existed on mars.
That life cannot and has never
existed on mars.
The smothers brothers this week
Existed on mars.
The smothers brothers this week
announced that they are
The smothers brothers this week
announced that they are
splitting up.
Announced that they are
splitting up.
d*ck smothers says he wants to
Splitting up.
d*ck smothers says he wants to
spend more time with his family.
d*ck smothers says he wants to
spend more time with his family.
Tommy says he will continue his
Spend more time with his family.
Tommy says he will continue his
career as soon as he breaks in a
Tommy says he will continue his
career as soon as he breaks in a
new brother.
Career as soon as he breaks in a
new brother.
[Chuckles]
New brother.
[Chuckles]
still to come, jack ford
[Chuckles]
still to come, jack ford
campaigns for his dad in
Still to come, jack ford
campaigns for his dad in
cheyenne after this message.
Howdy.
I'm kris kristofferson, and I
Guess you're wondering what a
Good old boy from nashville's
Doing talking to you on some
Tutti-frutti tv station.
Well, the fact is, I make a
pretty good living doing just
about what I want to do.
Pretty good living doing just
about what I want to do.
And I may not be no bobby dylan,
About what I want to do.
And I may not be no bobby dylan,
but I don't have to go to work
And I may not be no bobby dylan,
but I don't have to go to work
in the morning, neither.
But I don't have to go to work
in the morning, neither.
And I'm fixing to tell y'all out
In the morning, neither.
And I'm fixing to tell y'all out
there how you can do the same
And I'm fixing to tell y'all out
there how you can do the same
thing.
There how you can do the same
thing.
It wasn't always so easy for me.
Thing.
It wasn't always so easy for me.
Like a lot of you out there, I
It wasn't always so easy for me.
Like a lot of you out there, I
had a handicap that was fast
Like a lot of you out there, I
had a handicap that was fast
ruining my life.
Had a handicap that was fast
ruining my life.
It was called "education."
Ruining my life.
It was called "education."
I was a rhodes scholar for
It was called "education."
I was a rhodes scholar for
damn... My english is too damn
I was a rhodes scholar for
damn... My english is too damn
good.
Damn... My english is too damn
good.
To be honest with you, I was
Good.
To be honest with you, I was
becoming a burden to my family
To be honest with you, I was
becoming a burden to my family
and an embarrassment to my
Becoming a burden to my family
and an embarrassment to my
friends.
And an embarrassment to my
friends.
I was turning out songs like
Friends.
I was turning out songs like
"please help me endure the angst
I was turning out songs like
"please help me endure the angst
of this lonely evening" and
"Please help me endure the angst
of this lonely evening" and
"bobby mcgee and i" and...
Of this lonely evening" and
"bobby mcgee and i" and...
To be sure, I couldn't get
"Bobby mcgee and i" and...
To be sure, I couldn't get
arrested.
To be sure, I couldn't get
arrested.
Right now, you're probably
Arrested.
Right now, you're probably
asking yourself, "well, what
Right now, you're probably
asking yourself, "well, what
turned it all around for him?
Asking yourself, "well, what
turned it all around for him?
How'd he write all those great
Turned it all around for him?
How'd he write all those great
songs that made him, well, kind
How'd he write all those great
songs that made him, well, kind
of a legend in his own time?"
Songs that made him, well, kind
of a legend in his own time?"
The answer's in this book,
Of a legend in his own time?"
The answer's in this book,
"talk country."
The answer's in this book,
"talk country."
It took me 10 years of dues
"Talk country."
It took me 10 years of dues
paying to learn what's in this
It took me 10 years of dues
paying to learn what's in this
book, and you can read the
Paying to learn what's in this
book, and you can read the
damn thing in an hour in the
Book, and you can read the
damn thing in an hour in the
comfort of your own home.
Damn thing in an hour in the
comfort of your own home.
There's a whole chapter devoted
Comfort of your own home.
There's a whole chapter devoted
to nothing but dropping your
There's a whole chapter devoted
to nothing but dropping your
g's at the end of words like
To nothing but dropping your
g's at the end of words like
believin', feelin', comin',
G's at the end of words like
believin', feelin', comin',
children.
Believin', feelin', comin',
children.
Another one on double negatives,
Children.
Another one on double negatives,
and a special section on, uh,
Another one on double negatives,
and a special section on, uh,
colorful country sayings, like,
And a special section on, uh,
colorful country sayings, like,
uh, "as much chance as a
Colorful country sayings, like,
uh, "as much chance as a
one-legged man in an ass-kicking
Uh, "as much chance as a
one-legged man in an ass-kicking
contest" and "feeling like a
One-legged man in an ass-kicking
contest" and "feeling like a
jackass between two haystacks."
Contest" and "feeling like a
jackass between two haystacks."
Point is, you don't need to have
Jackass between two haystacks."
Point is, you don't need to have
a prison record to be an outlaw
Point is, you don't need to have
a prison record to be an outlaw
or doing time in a drunk t*nk
A prison record to be an outlaw
or doing time in a drunk t*nk
to be funky.
Or doing time in a drunk t*nk
to be funky.
It's all right in here.
To be funky.
It's all right in here.
Don't let your education stand
It's all right in here.
Don't let your education stand
in the way of stardom.
Don't let your education stand
in the way of stardom.
Don't throw away a promising
In the way of stardom.
Don't throw away a promising
career just 'cause you can't
Don't throw away a promising
career just 'cause you can't
say, "ain't."
Send $5.95 today to...
It worked for merle haggard.
It'll work for you.
Well, I've got to get back to
Making music.
♪ I'm a loser, I'm a learner ♪
♪ I'm filthy on the phone ♪
♪ I ran a buster to the bone ♪
♪ I'm filthy on the phone ♪
♪ I ran a buster to the bone ♪
♪ who had a problem when I'm
♪ I ran a buster to the bone ♪
♪ who had a problem when I'm
home ♪
Well, in montreal tonight,
the excitement once again mounts
as finalists in the boxing,
The excitement once again mounts
as finalists in the boxing,
marathon, equestrian, and
As finalists in the boxing,
marathon, equestrian, and
hurdles...
Marathon, equestrian, and
hurdles...
This bulletin about the viking
Hurdles...
This bulletin about the viking
spacecraft just in from "update"
This bulletin about the viking
spacecraft just in from "update"
correspondent laraine newman,
Spacecraft just in from "update"
correspondent laraine newman,
reporting live from nasa.
Correspondent laraine newman,
reporting live from nasa.
Come in, laraine.
Reporting live from nasa.
Come in, laraine.
The air is clear, the sky is
Come in, laraine.
The air is clear, the sky is
blue, and the breeze is wafting,
The air is clear, the sky is
blue, and the breeze is wafting,
chevy.
Blue, and the breeze is wafting,
chevy.
The sun is quite hot.
Chevy.
The sun is quite hot.
I've been out for only 15
The sun is quite hot.
I've been out for only 15
minutes, and already I've got a
I've been out for only 15
minutes, and already I've got a
difference.
Minutes, and already I've got a
difference.
The temperature here is
Difference.
The temperature here is
somewhere above 80.
The temperature here is
somewhere above 80.
Humidity is high.
Somewhere above 80.
Humidity is high.
And except for the people who
Humidity is high.
And except for the people who
live here, most everyone is on
And except for the people who
live here, most everyone is on
the american plan.
Live here, most everyone is on
the american plan.
The food here is really good,
The american plan.
The food here is really good,
chevy.
The food here is really good,
chevy.
Laraine.
Chevy.
Laraine.
Excuse me, laraine.
Laraine.
Excuse me, laraine.
Can you hear me?
Excuse me, laraine.
Can you hear me?
Yes, chevy.
Can you hear me?
Yes, chevy.
Now, laraine, aren't you
Yes, chevy.
Now, laraine, aren't you
supposed to be in nasa, the
Now, laraine, aren't you
supposed to be in nasa, the
national aeronautics and space
Supposed to be in nasa, the
national aeronautics and space
administration?
National aeronautics and space
administration?
That's right, chevy.
Administration?
That's right, chevy.
And, laraine, aren't you,
That's right, chevy.
And, laraine, aren't you,
in fact, in nassau?
And, laraine, aren't you,
in fact, in nassau?
You're absolutely right,
In fact, in nassau?
You're absolutely right,
chevy.
You're absolutely right,
chevy.
Will I have to pay for this?
Chevy.
Will I have to pay for this?
Correspondent laraine newman,
Will I have to pay for this?
Correspondent laraine newman,
paying for her own vacation in
Correspondent laraine newman,
paying for her own vacation in
nassau.
Paying for her own vacation in
nassau.
Spiro t. Agnew, under new attack
Nassau.
Spiro t. Agnew, under new attack
for criticism of israel, denied
Spiro t. Agnew, under new attack
for criticism of israel, denied
yesterday that he is
For criticism of israel, denied
yesterday that he is
anti-semitic.
Yesterday that he is
anti-semitic.
In a statement to the press,
Anti-semitic.
In a statement to the press,
agnew was quoted as saying, "I
In a statement to the press,
agnew was quoted as saying, "I
don't judge a man according to
Agnew was quoted as saying, "I
don't judge a man according to
his religious beliefs.
Don't judge a man according to
his religious beliefs.
I judge him according to the
His religious beliefs.
I judge him according to the
length of his nose."
I judge him according to the
length of his nose."
The former vice-president went
Length of his nose."
The former vice-president went
on to say, "all these
The former vice-president went
on to say, "all these
allegations are pure nonsense.
On to say, "all these
allegations are pure nonsense.
Some of my best friends are
Allegations are pure nonsense.
Some of my best friends are
christ K*llers."
Some of my best friends are
christ K*llers."
In a tragedy at the olympics,
Christ K*llers."
In a tragedy at the olympics,
high jump champion dwight stones
In a tragedy at the olympics,
high jump champion dwight stones
of huntington beach, california,
High jump champion dwight stones
of huntington beach, california,
became caught between the
Of huntington beach, california,
became caught between the
crossbars during the second heat
Became caught between the
crossbars during the second heat
of the event.
Crossbars during the second heat
of the event.
The apparatus and stones were
Of the event.
The apparatus and stones were
taken to a nearby hospital where
The apparatus and stones were
taken to a nearby hospital where
he was safely removed from the
Taken to a nearby hospital where
he was safely removed from the
bars with scissors and a
He was safely removed from the
bars with scissors and a
blowtorch.
Bars with scissors and a
blowtorch.
And our final story tonight took
Blowtorch.
And our final story tonight took
place today in montreal, where
And our final story tonight took
place today in montreal, where
generalissimo francisco franco
Place today in montreal, where
generalissimo francisco franco
scored a perfect 10 out of 10 in
Generalissimo francisco franco
scored a perfect 10 out of 10 in
cadaver diving, a relatively new
Scored a perfect 10 out of 10 in
cadaver diving, a relatively new
sport in olympic competition.
Cadaver diving, a relatively new
sport in olympic competition.
The former ruler of spain, now
Sport in olympic competition.
The former ruler of spain, now
known as "el cadaver," scored an
The former ruler of spain, now
known as "el cadaver," scored an
upset over daniel gearhart,
Known as "el cadaver," scored an
upset over daniel gearhart,
ex-mercenary, who was considered
Upset over daniel gearhart,
ex-mercenary, who was considered
to be the favorite until he lost
Ex-mercenary, who was considered
to be the favorite until he lost
points for his execution.
To be the favorite until he lost
points for his execution.
And now, for those of our
Points for his execution.
And now, for those of our
viewers that may be growing
And now, for those of our
viewers that may be growing
tired of "weekend update," I
Viewers that may be growing
tired of "weekend update," I
will not repeat tonight's top
Tired of "weekend update," I
will not repeat tonight's top
story.
Will not repeat tonight's top
story.
Good night, and have a pleasant
Story.
Good night, and have a pleasant
tomorrow.
[Guitar plays]
♪ busted flat in
baton rouge ♪
♪ Busted flat in
baton rouge ♪
♪ I'm heading for a train ♪
Baton rouge ♪
♪ I'm heading for a train ♪
♪ feeling near as faded as my
♪ I'm heading for a train ♪
♪ feeling near as faded as my
jeans ♪
♪ Feeling near as faded as my
jeans ♪
thank you, thank you, thank you.
Jeans ♪
thank you, thank you, thank you.
That song is called
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
That song is called
"bobby mcgee," and I wrote the
That song is called
"bobby mcgee," and I wrote the
thing back in 1969.
"Bobby mcgee," and I wrote the
thing back in 1969.
And I guess you know how much it
Thing back in 1969.
And I guess you know how much it
meant to me.
And I guess you know how much it
meant to me.
What you probably don't know
Meant to me.
What you probably don't know
is there really was a
What you probably don't know
is there really was a
bobby mcgee, only it wasn't her
Is there really was a
bobby mcgee, only it wasn't her
name.
Bobby mcgee, only it wasn't her
name.
Her name was bobby paisner, but
Name.
Her name was bobby paisner, but
I rhymed it with "me," and
Her name was bobby paisner, but
I rhymed it with "me," and
nothing rhymes with "paisner"
I rhymed it with "me," and
nothing rhymes with "paisner"
anyway.
Nothing rhymes with "paisner"
anyway.
But somebody here at nbc took
Anyway.
But somebody here at nbc took
the trouble to hunt her down,
But somebody here at nbc took
the trouble to hunt her down,
and she's somewhere out there
The trouble to hunt her down,
and she's somewhere out there
in the audience now.
And she's somewhere out there
in the audience now.
I ain't seen her in seven years,
In the audience now.
I ain't seen her in seven years,
and I'd like you all to meet the
I ain't seen her in seven years,
and I'd like you all to meet the
real bobby mcgee.
And I'd like you all to meet the
real bobby mcgee.
Bobby, come up here.
Wow, bobby.
Kris.
It's wonderful to see you.
Kris.
It's wonderful to see you.
You look just fabulous.
It's wonderful to see you.
You look just fabulous.
Tell me, honestly, would you
You look just fabulous.
Tell me, honestly, would you
have recognized me?
Tell me, honestly, would you
have recognized me?
Sure, sure.
Have recognized me?
Sure, sure.
[Laughs]
Sure, sure.
[Laughs]
you dress a little different.
[Laughs]
you dress a little different.
I don't think I'd forget the
You dress a little different.
I don't think I'd forget the
shape, anyway.
I don't think I'd forget the
shape, anyway.
Oh.
Shape, anyway.
Oh.
Oh, boy.
Oh.
Oh, boy.
Hey, what happened to you?
Oh, boy.
Hey, what happened to you?
Oh, you mean in salinas?
Hey, what happened to you?
Oh, you mean in salinas?
Yeah.
Oh, you mean in salinas?
Yeah.
Oh, I had to leave.
Yeah.
Oh, I had to leave.
I'd really had it with the road.
Oh, I had to leave.
I'd really had it with the road.
Four weeks is a long time to be
I'd really had it with the road.
Four weeks is a long time to be
away from home, you know.
Four weeks is a long time to be
away from home, you know.
And, uh, my parents sent me this
Away from home, you know.
And, uh, my parents sent me this
plane ticket back to chicago,
And, uh, my parents sent me this
plane ticket back to chicago,
and they were so supportive.
Plane ticket back to chicago,
and they were so supportive.
They fixed up my old room and
And they were so supportive.
They fixed up my old room and
everything.
They fixed up my old room and
everything.
And, you know, I'll never
Everything.
And, you know, I'll never
forget it.
And, you know, I'll never
forget it.
My father said to me, "you can't
Forget it.
My father said to me, "you can't
be a grasshopper your whole
My father said to me, "you can't
be a grasshopper your whole
life."
Be a grasshopper your whole
life."
You know, so I went back to
Life."
You know, so I went back to
college, and I got my teaching
You know, so I went back to
college, and I got my teaching
certificate.
College, and I got my teaching
certificate.
Wow, so you're a teacher.
Certificate.
Wow, so you're a teacher.
Well, I never actually got a
Wow, so you're a teacher.
Well, I never actually got a
chance to teach, because that's
Well, I never actually got a
chance to teach, because that's
when, uh, I met larry.
Chance to teach, because that's
when, uh, I met larry.
Larry who?
When, uh, I met larry.
Larry who?
Larry farber.
Larry who?
Larry farber.
Hi! How are you, kris?
Larry farber.
Hi! How are you, kris?
Nice to meet you!
Hi! How are you, kris?
Nice to meet you!
This is my husband, kris,
Nice to meet you!
This is my husband, kris,
larry farber.
This is my husband, kris,
larry farber.
He's in pocketbooks.
Larry farber.
He's in pocketbooks.
Let me get a picture of you
He's in pocketbooks.
Let me get a picture of you
two over here.
Let me get a picture of you
two over here.
Get together here now.
Two over here.
Get together here now.
Let's see this.
Get together here now.
Let's see this.
Let's see that little smile.
Let's see this.
Let's see that little smile.
Oh, great. Great.
Let's see that little smile.
Oh, great. Great.
Hi, kids.
Oh, great. Great.
Hi, kids.
Hi, tracy.
Hi, kids.
Hi, tracy.
Hi, jason.
Hi, tracy.
Hi, jason.
How are you?
Hi, jason.
How are you?
That's our kids.
How are you?
That's our kids.
I promised I'd say hello.
That's our kids.
I promised I'd say hello.
They're watching in
I promised I'd say hello.
They're watching in
highland park.
They're watching in
highland park.
Hi, kids.
Highland park.
Hi, kids.
Hi, kids!
Hi, kids.
Hi, kids!
Well, that's really terrific.
Hi, kids!
Well, that's really terrific.
You got kids out there.
Well, that's really terrific.
You got kids out there.
Yeah. You know something?
You got kids out there.
Yeah. You know something?
They just love you.
Yeah. You know something?
They just love you.
They're your biggest fans, kris,
They just love you.
They're your biggest fans, kris,
really.
They're your biggest fans, kris,
really.
You know, they always listen to
Really.
You know, they always listen to
your record.
You know, they always listen to
your record.
Their favorite one is
Your record.
Their favorite one is
"50 ways to leave your lover."
Their favorite one is
"50 ways to leave your lover."
You know, all I ever hear
"50 Ways to leave your lover."
You know, all I ever hear
them listen to is elton john.
You know, all I ever hear
them listen to is elton john.
Oh, larry's such a joker.
Them listen to is elton john.
Oh, larry's such a joker.
You're such a joker, larry.
Oh, larry's such a joker.
You're such a joker, larry.
He's really a joker.
You're such a joker, larry.
He's really a joker.
Yeah.
He's really a joker.
Yeah.
I bet you guys have a lot of
Yeah.
I bet you guys have a lot of
yocks, don't you?
I bet you guys have a lot of
yocks, don't you?
Yeah.
Yocks, don't you?
Yeah.
Um, kris, larry's never heard
Yeah.
Um, kris, larry's never heard
you sing.
Um, kris, larry's never heard
you sing.
Could you sing "bobby mcgee" for
You sing.
Could you sing "bobby mcgee" for
him?
Could you sing "bobby mcgee" for
him?
He don't want to hear it.
Him?
He don't want to hear it.
Yes, he does.
He don't want to hear it.
Yes, he does.
He wants to hear it, kris.
Yes, he does.
He wants to hear it, kris.
It's our song, right?
He wants to hear it, kris.
It's our song, right?
It's our song.
It's our song, right?
It's our song.
Bobby tells me you made quite
It's our song.
Bobby tells me you made quite
a mint off that, pal.
Bobby tells me you made quite
a mint off that, pal.
God knows I never saw a
A mint off that, pal.
God knows I never saw a
penny.
God knows I never saw a
penny.
Go ahead and sing it, though,
Penny.
Go ahead and sing it, though,
kris, please.
Go ahead and sing it, though,
kris, please.
♪ Well, I took my harpoon
Kris, please.
♪ Well, I took my harpoon
out of my dirty red bandanna ♪
♪ Well, I took my harpoon
out of my dirty red bandanna ♪
♪ blowing sad while bobby sang
Out of my dirty red bandanna ♪
♪ blowing sad while bobby sang
the blues ♪
♪ Blowing sad while bobby sang
the blues ♪
oh, I love it.
The blues ♪
oh, I love it.
♪ Them windshield wipers
Oh, I love it.
♪ Them windshield wipers
slapping time ♪
♪ Them windshield wipers
slapping time ♪
♪ and bobby clapping hands ♪
Slapping time ♪
♪ and bobby clapping hands ♪
oh, I love that.
♪ And bobby clapping hands ♪
oh, I love that.
I love that.
Oh, I love that.
I love that.
It's really a nice song.
I love that.
It's really a nice song.
Yeah, you know, I've waited
It's really a nice song.
Yeah, you know, I've waited
so long for the two of you to
Yeah, you know, I've waited
so long for the two of you to
meet, really.
So long for the two of you to
meet, really.
You know, kris, I've told larry
Meet, really.
You know, kris, I've told larry
all about you.
You know, kris, I've told larry
all about you.
All about me?
All about you.
All about me?
What's that supposed to mean?
All about me?
What's that supposed to mean?
Larry.
What's that supposed to mean?
Larry.
Okay.
Larry.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
[Laughs]
Okay.
[Laughs]
we really had some good times,
[Laughs]
we really had some good times,
didn't we?
We really had some good times,
didn't we?
They were some crazy, zany
Didn't we?
They were some crazy, zany
old times.
They were some crazy, zany
old times.
Come on, kris, finish the
Old times.
Come on, kris, finish the
song.
Come on, kris, finish the
song.
You know, a lot of my friends
Song.
You know, a lot of my friends
back in highland park don't
You know, a lot of my friends
back in highland park don't
believe that I'm the real
Back in highland park don't
believe that I'm the real
bobby mcgee.
Believe that I'm the real
bobby mcgee.
Could you just sing it for them,
Bobby mcgee.
Could you just sing it for them,
please?
Could you just sing it for them,
please?
Sing the rest of the song.
Please?
Sing the rest of the song.
Uh, look...
Sing the rest of the song.
Uh, look...
Please?
Uh, look...
Please?
Please?
Please?
Please?
Pretty please, with sugar on
Please?
Pretty please, with sugar on
top?
Pretty please, with sugar on
top?
Please?
Top?
Please?
Could you sing it, kris?
Please?
Could you sing it, kris?
♪ Somewhere near salinas,
Could you sing it, kris?
♪ Somewhere near salinas,
lord, I let her slip away ♪
♪ Somewhere near salinas,
lord, I let her slip away ♪
now, let's see.
Lord, I let her slip away ♪
now, let's see.
♪ From the coal mines of
Now, let's see.
♪ From the coal mines of
kentucky ♪
♪ From the coal mines of
kentucky ♪
♪ to the california sun... ♪
Kentucky ♪
♪ to the california sun... ♪
Hey, when were you in
♪ To the california sun... ♪
Hey, when were you in
kentucky, sweetheart?
Hey, when were you in
kentucky, sweetheart?
You know, I thought you were
Kentucky, sweetheart?
You know, I thought you were
just hitchhiking back to school.
You know, I thought you were
just hitchhiking back to school.
Larry, it was a long time
Just hitchhiking back to school.
Larry, it was a long time
ago.
Larry, it was a long time
ago.
"Kept me from the cold"?
Ago.
"Kept me from the cold"?
Is that what you said?
"Kept me from the cold"?
Is that what you said?
"Kept me from the cold"?
Is that what you said?
"Kept me from the cold"?
Yes, he said, "kept me from
"Kept me from the cold"?
Yes, he said, "kept me from
the cold."
Yes, he said, "kept me from
the cold."
I thought you just talked.
The cold."
I thought you just talked.
I thought it was one afternoon.
I thought you just talked.
I thought it was one afternoon.
You said you happened to get a
I thought it was one afternoon.
You said you happened to get a
ride in the same truck.
You said you happened to get a
ride in the same truck.
That was it.
Ride in the same truck.
That was it.
Look, larry, it was a long
That was it.
Look, larry, it was a long
time ago.
Look, larry, it was a long
time ago.
It was dark.
Time ago.
It was dark.
There was a thunderstorm.
It was dark.
There was a thunderstorm.
It was chilly.
There was a thunderstorm.
It was chilly.
It looked like night.
It was chilly.
It looked like night.
Enough is enough.
It looked like night.
Enough is enough.
Go ahead, kris.
Enough is enough.
Go ahead, kris.
Sing the song.
Go ahead, kris.
Sing the song.
Sing it. Come on.
Sing the song.
Sing it. Come on.
Come on.
Sing it. Come on.
Come on.
He wants to hear the rest of it.
Come on.
He wants to hear the rest of it.
♪ Somewhere near salinas,
He wants to hear the rest of it.
♪ Somewhere near salinas,
lord, I let her her slip away ♪
♪ Somewhere near salinas,
lord, I let her her slip away ♪
♪ looking for the home I hope
Lord, I let her her slip away ♪
♪ looking for the home I hope
she found ♪
♪ Looking for the home I hope
she found ♪
♪ I'd trade all my tomorrows
She found ♪
♪ I'd trade all my tomorrows
for some single yesterday ♪
♪ I'd trade all my tomorrows
for some single yesterday ♪
♪ holding bobby's body next to
For some single yesterday ♪
♪ holding bobby's body next to
mine ♪
♪ Holding bobby's body next to
mine ♪
"holding bobby's body next to
Mine ♪
"holding bobby's body next to
mine."
"Holding bobby's body next to
mine."
Wait, look, I get the picture.
Mine."
Wait, look, I get the picture.
I'm not stupid.
Wait, look, I get the picture.
I'm not stupid.
I may not be a folk singer, but
I'm not stupid.
I may not be a folk singer, but
I am not stupid.
I may not be a folk singer, but
I am not stupid.
I know what's going on...
I am not stupid.
I know what's going on...
"Holding bobby's body next
I know what's going on...
"Holding bobby's body next
to mine."
"Holding bobby's body next
to mine."
Larry, I don't believe this.
To mine."
Larry, I don't believe this.
I don't believe you could be...
Larry, I don't believe this.
I don't believe you could be...
Let him answer it!
I don't believe you could be...
Let him answer it!
Come on, what is that supposed
Let him answer it!
Come on, what is that supposed
to mean, fella?
Come on, what is that supposed
to mean, fella?
Hey, frank... Larry...
To mean, fella?
Hey, frank... Larry...
Larry.
Hey, frank... Larry...
Larry.
Larry! Larry farber.
Larry.
Larry! Larry farber.
You're in the front seat of a
Larry! Larry farber.
You're in the front seat of a
truck, and there's three of you,
You're in the front seat of a
truck, and there's three of you,
and when you got a harpoon...
Truck, and there's three of you,
and when you got a harpoon...
Yeah, sure.
And when you got a harpoon...
Yeah, sure.
And a bandanna, somebody's
Yeah, sure.
And a bandanna, somebody's
butt is going to be next to
And a bandanna, somebody's
butt is going to be next to
somebody else's.
Butt is going to be next to
somebody else's.
Yeah, how'd you like to step
Somebody else's.
Yeah, how'd you like to step
outside for a knuckle sandwich?
Yeah, how'd you like to step
outside for a knuckle sandwich?
Larry!
Outside for a knuckle sandwich?
Larry!
I don't care what he wants!
Larry!
I don't care what he wants!
Come on, let's go!
I don't care what he wants!
Come on, let's go!
Come on, pal!
Come on, let's go!
Come on, pal!
Honey, I would like you to
Come on, pal!
Honey, I would like you to
meet somebody real special.
Honey, I would like you to
meet somebody real special.
This is bobby mcgee, and her...
Meet somebody real special.
This is bobby mcgee, and her...
It's bobby...
This is bobby mcgee, and her...
It's bobby...
Bobby farber now, right.
It's bobby...
Bobby farber now, right.
This is my husband,
Bobby farber now, right.
This is my husband,
larry farber, women's
This is my husband,
larry farber, women's
pocketbooks.
Larry farber, women's
pocketbooks.
Nice to meet you.
Pocketbooks.
Nice to meet you.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Nice to meet you.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Oh, thank you.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Oh, thank you.
Listen, uh, just one last thing
Oh, thank you.
Listen, uh, just one last thing
for me, kris.
Listen, uh, just one last thing
for me, kris.
Could you just finish the song,
For me, kris.
Could you just finish the song,
please?
Could you just finish the song,
please?
A lot of people don't believe...
Please?
A lot of people don't believe...
♪ Freedom's just another
A lot of people don't believe...
♪ Freedom's just another
word for nothin' left to lose ♪
♪ Freedom's just another
word for nothin' left to lose ♪
♪ nothing left with nothing
Word for nothin' left to lose ♪
♪ nothing left with nothing
every day ♪
♪ Nothing left with nothing
every day ♪
♪ nothing ain't worth nothing ♪
Every day ♪
♪ nothing ain't worth nothing ♪
I wrote the "na-na na" part.
♪ Nothing ain't worth nothing ♪
I wrote the "na-na na" part.
Yeah, whatever.
I wrote the "na-na na" part.
Yeah, whatever.
Okay?
Yeah, whatever.
Okay?
♪ Na-na na ♪
Okay?
♪ Na-na na ♪
are we at the "na-na na" part?
♪ Na-na na ♪
are we at the "na-na na" part?
♪ Na-na na na-na na na na ♪
Are we at the "na-na na" part?
♪ Na-na na na-na na na na ♪
it was good then.
♪ Na-na na na-na na na na ♪
it was good then.
Now what's it take, huh?
It was good then.
Now what's it take, huh?
Takes two weeks in the caribbean
Now what's it take, huh?
Takes two weeks in the caribbean
now to set you straight.
Takes two weeks in the caribbean
now to set you straight.
Larry!
Now to set you straight.
Larry!
Yeah, the charge cards, the
Larry!
Yeah, the charge cards, the
tennis lessons for the kids, the
Yeah, the charge cards, the
tennis lessons for the kids, the
house in benton harbor, the
Tennis lessons for the kids, the
house in benton harbor, the
analyst, the kids' damn analyst.
House in benton harbor, the
analyst, the kids' damn analyst.
I should have been a damn folk
Analyst, the kids' damn analyst.
I should have been a damn folk
singer!
I should have been a damn folk
singer!
Larry, you are making a
Singer!
Larry, you are making a
fool...
Larry, you are making a
fool...
Aw, no!
Fool...
Aw, no!
I should have been a folk singer
Aw, no!
I should have been a folk singer
and grown a beard!
I should have been a folk singer
and grown a beard!
No, let's get out of here!
And grown a beard!
No, let's get out of here!
Larry, you're making a fool
No, let's get out of here!
Larry, you're making a fool
out of yourself!
Larry, you're making a fool
out of yourself!
You want me to grow a beard?!
Out of yourself!
You want me to grow a beard?!
[Cheers and applause]
You want me to grow a beard?!
[Cheers and applause]
that's bobby mcgee?
[Cheers and applause]
that's bobby mcgee?
I mean, that's bobby mcgee?
That's bobby mcgee?
I mean, that's bobby mcgee?
That was a long time ago.
I mean, that's bobby mcgee?
That was a long time ago.
Things were different in the
That was a long time ago.
Things were different in the
'60s.
Things were different in the
'60s.
Wait, we'll be right back in a
'60S.
Wait, we'll be right back in a
few minutes, folks.
Wait, we'll be right back in a
few minutes, folks.
People don't change that
Few minutes, folks.
People don't change that
much.
People don't change that
much.
Yes, she has changed a lot.
Much.
Yes, she has changed a lot.
[Applause]
Margie, he's in the bathroom,
so I've got to talk fast.
Okay, remember how eileen said
So I've got to talk fast.
Okay, remember how eileen said
this would be the greatest blind
Okay, remember how eileen said
this would be the greatest blind
date of my life... He's cute,
This would be the greatest blind
date of my life... He's cute,
he's fun, he's a doctor?
Date of my life... He's cute,
he's fun, he's a doctor?
He's my gynecologist.
He's fun, he's a doctor?
He's my gynecologist.
Because she never told me his
He's my gynecologist.
Because she never told me his
last name, that's why!
Because she never told me his
last name, that's why!
Well, nothing's happened so far
Last name, that's why!
Well, nothing's happened so far
except he said my pap test came
Well, nothing's happened so far
except he said my pap test came
out okay.
Except he said my pap test came
out okay.
Well, I don't know, it's just so
Out okay.
Well, I don't know, it's just so
awkward.
Well, I don't know, it's just so
awkward.
I mean, the last time I saw his
Awkward.
I mean, the last time I saw his
face, it was coming up between
I mean, the last time I saw his
face, it was coming up between
my knees.
Face, it was coming up between
my knees.
It's embarrassing, and I don't
My knees.
It's embarrassing, and I don't
know if I can go through...
It's embarrassing, and I don't
know if I can go through...
[Door opens]
Know if I can go through...
[Door opens]
I got to get off. He's coming.
[Door opens]
I got to get off. He's coming.
Well, "silent movie" comes on
I got to get off. He's coming.
Well, "silent movie" comes on
at 8:00, and "the omen"... It
Well, "silent movie" comes on
at 8:00, and "the omen"... It
might be...
At 8:00, and "the omen"... It
might be...
Look, i-i, um... I don't
Might be...
Look, i-i, um... I don't
think I can go through with
Look, i-i, um... I don't
think I can go through with
this.
Think I can go through with
this.
What?
This.
What?
Going out with you.
What?
Going out with you.
Going out with my gynecologist.
Going out with you.
Going out with my gynecologist.
Why?
Going out with my gynecologist.
Why?
Well... Because [sighs] I
Why?
Well... Because [sighs] I
don't even know what movie we're
Well... Because [sighs] I
don't even know what movie we're
seeing yet, and you've already
Don't even know what movie we're
seeing yet, and you've already
gotten to third base.
Seeing yet, and you've already
gotten to third base.
[Scoffs]
Gotten to third base.
[Scoffs]
hey, uh, judy, all I did was
[Scoffs]
hey, uh, judy, all I did was
perform a professional service
Hey, uh, judy, all I did was
perform a professional service
for you, just like an
Perform a professional service
for you, just like an
accountant.
For you, just like an
accountant.
It's like if you were dating
Accountant.
It's like if you were dating
your accountant.
It's like if you were dating
your accountant.
Hey, I wouldn't mind if you'd
Your accountant.
Hey, I wouldn't mind if you'd
seen the inside of my checkbook.
Hey, I wouldn't mind if you'd
seen the inside of my checkbook.
Then let's talk about
Seen the inside of my checkbook.
Then let's talk about
something else, change the
Then let's talk about
something else, change the
subject.
Something else, change the
subject.
That's a great-looking shirt you
Subject.
That's a great-looking shirt you
got on.
That's a great-looking shirt you
got on.
Well, are you sure?
Got on.
Well, are you sure?
You've never seen me in anything
Well, are you sure?
You've never seen me in anything
but white paper.
You've never seen me in anything
but white paper.
Hey, doesn't it ever get to
But white paper.
Hey, doesn't it ever get to
you... I mean, knowing that
Hey, doesn't it ever get to
you... I mean, knowing that
you've seen the inside of my...
You... I mean, knowing that
you've seen the inside of my...
Judy, I see these things all
You've seen the inside of my...
Judy, I see these things all
the time.
Judy, I see these things all
the time.
Well, that's the difference.
The time.
Well, that's the difference.
To you, they're these things.
Well, that's the difference.
To you, they're these things.
To me, they're my things.
To you, they're these things.
To me, they're my things.
No, I didn't mean it that
To me, they're my things.
No, I didn't mean it that
way.
No, I didn't mean it that
way.
It's just like if... I mean,
Way.
It's just like if... I mean,
imagine looking at 30 or 40
It's just like if... I mean,
imagine looking at 30 or 40
things a day, you know, and if
Imagine looking at 30 or 40
things a day, you know, and if
you can't... If you're worried
Things a day, you know, and if
you can't... If you're worried
about what I remember about
You can't... If you're worried
about what I remember about
yours, I can't even remember
About what I remember about
yours, I can't even remember
which one it was.
Yours, I can't even remember
which one it was.
You can't?
Which one it was.
You can't?
Promise.
You can't?
Promise.
That is a relief.
Promise.
That is a relief.
Whew.
That is a relief.
Whew.
[Sighs]
Whew.
[Sighs]
well, if you want to see
[Sighs]
well, if you want to see
"silent movie," we ought to go
Well, if you want to see
"silent movie," we ought to go
right now.
"Silent movie," we ought to go
right now.
You really can't remember one
Right now.
You really can't remember one
thing?
You really can't remember one
thing?
Unh-unh.
Thing?
Unh-unh.
Not even about the, uh, other
Unh-unh.
Not even about the, uh, other
half?
Not even about the, uh, other
half?
Well, who could forget those,
Half?
Well, who could forget those,
darling?
Well, who could forget those,
darling?
Joking, of course.
Darling?
Joking, of course.
I'm only kidding, you see.
Joking, of course.
I'm only kidding, you see.
Oh.
I'm only kidding, you see.
Oh.
Hey, wait a minute.
Oh.
Hey, wait a minute.
Are you mad because I don't
Hey, wait a minute.
Are you mad because I don't
remember, now?
Are you mad because I don't
remember, now?
[Chuckling] oh, no!
Remember, now?
[Chuckling] oh, no!
It's wonderful to know that the
[Chuckling] oh, no!
It's wonderful to know that the
man who probably has the most
It's wonderful to know that the
man who probably has the most
intimate contact with your body
Man who probably has the most
intimate contact with your body
can't remember one thing.
Intimate contact with your body
can't remember one thing.
Good god, judy, I'm a doctor.
Can't remember one thing.
Good god, judy, I'm a doctor.
I can't think of my patients
Good god, judy, I'm a doctor.
I can't think of my patients
sexually.
I can't think of my patients
sexually.
I have to think of them
Sexually.
I have to think of them
objectively.
I have to think of them
objectively.
Sure.
Objectively.
Sure.
Well, you know what?
Sure.
Well, you know what?
You know what you are?
Well, you know what?
You know what you are?
You're thinking like everybody
You know what you are?
You're thinking like everybody
else thinks.
You're thinking like everybody
else thinks.
You think it was a choice for me
Else thinks.
You think it was a choice for me
of either being a gynecologist
You think it was a choice for me
of either being a gynecologist
or some dirty old man in an
Of either being a gynecologist
or some dirty old man in an
all-night movie with a newspaper
Or some dirty old man in an
all-night movie with a newspaper
on my lap.
All-night movie with a newspaper
on my lap.
It was not that choice.
On my lap.
It was not that choice.
Do you know what it was like for
It was not that choice.
Do you know what it was like for
me in school?
Do you know what it was like for
me in school?
All my friends made me write
Me in school?
All my friends made me write
down everything I saw so they
All my friends made me write
down everything I saw so they
could read it in the bathroom
Down everything I saw so they
could read it in the bathroom
later.
Could read it in the bathroom
later.
And the other residents, man...
Later.
And the other residents, man...
They thought they were working
And the other residents, man...
They thought they were working
but I was getting a little.
They thought they were working
but I was getting a little.
Well?
But I was getting a little.
Well?
Well, every time I went out
Well?
Well, every time I went out
on a date, any woman that I was
Well, every time I went out
on a date, any woman that I was
ever out with eventually got
On a date, any woman that I was
ever out with eventually got
around to asking why I was ever
Ever out with eventually got
around to asking why I was ever
interested in being a
Around to asking why I was ever
interested in being a
gynecologist and, uh, did I
Interested in being a
gynecologist and, uh, did I
think about it a lot when I was
Gynecologist and, uh, did I
think about it a lot when I was
a little boy.
Think about it a lot when I was
a little boy.
Did I want to be one then?
A little boy.
Did I want to be one then?
Did I have bad thoughts?
Did I want to be one then?
Did I have bad thoughts?
You know, do I have bad
Did I have bad thoughts?
You know, do I have bad
thoughts, you know?
You know, do I have bad
thoughts, you know?
Do you?
Thoughts, you know?
Do you?
Doesn't everybody?
Do you?
Doesn't everybody?
You do, admit it.
Doesn't everybody?
You do, admit it.
Well, I don't think that I
You do, admit it.
Well, I don't think that I
necessarily...
Well, I don't think that I
necessarily...
All the time, you have bad
Necessarily...
All the time, you have bad
thoughts!
All the time, you have bad
thoughts!
Come on, you could be having
Thoughts!
Come on, you could be having
them right now.
Come on, you could be having
them right now.
Look at the way you cross your
Them right now.
Look at the way you cross your
legs.
Look at the way you cross your
legs.
Well, no, i...
Legs.
Well, no, i...
In fact, that's probably why
Well, no, i...
In fact, that's probably why
you started this whole damn
In fact, that's probably why
you started this whole damn
thing.
You started this whole damn
thing.
You're trying to get in my
Thing.
You're trying to get in my
knickers.
You're trying to get in my
knickers.
[Chuckling] well...
Knickers.
[Chuckling] well...
I'm teasing.
[Chuckling] well...
I'm teasing.
It's not that I haven't
I'm teasing.
It's not that I haven't
noticed you.
It's not that I haven't
noticed you.
I-i have occasionally peeked
Noticed you.
I-i have occasionally peeked
over the sheet... Once.
I-i have occasionally peeked
over the sheet... Once.
[Chuckles] aha!
Over the sheet... Once.
[Chuckles] aha!
You see, we're getting down to
[Chuckles] aha!
You see, we're getting down to
the nitty-gritty.
You see, we're getting down to
the nitty-gritty.
Hey, if it'll make you feel
The nitty-gritty.
Hey, if it'll make you feel
better, you know, nobody ever
Hey, if it'll make you feel
better, you know, nobody ever
got fixed up with their
Better, you know, nobody ever
got fixed up with their
gynecologist by accident.
Got fixed up with their
gynecologist by accident.
I felt funny about this thing,
Gynecologist by accident.
I felt funny about this thing,
and somebody fixed us up for me.
I felt funny about this thing,
and somebody fixed us up for me.
That's all.
And somebody fixed us up for me.
That's all.
Do you mean that?
That's all.
Do you mean that?
Yeah.
Do you mean that?
Yeah.
When you was peeking over the
Yeah.
When you was peeking over the
sheet, I was peeking under it.
When you was peeking over the
sheet, I was peeking under it.
[Chuckling] it's true.
Sheet, I was peeking under it.
[Chuckling] it's true.
Hey, can we be friends about it?
[Chuckling] it's true.
Hey, can we be friends about it?
Yeah.
Hey, can we be friends about it?
Yeah.
Can we go to the movies?
Yeah.
Can we go to the movies?
Yeah.
Can we go to the movies?
Yeah.
Let's get out.
Yeah.
Let's get out.
You did notice.
Let's get out.
You did notice.
[Applause]
You did notice.
[Applause]
[band plays]
[Applause]
[band plays]
[introduction to
[Band plays]
[introduction to
"eddie the eunuch" plays]
♪ Eddie the eunuch was a
weasel ♪
♪ nasty as an old man's nose ♪
Weasel ♪
♪ nasty as an old man's nose ♪
♪ makin' believin' he was
♪ Nasty as an old man's nose ♪
♪ makin' believin' he was
evil ♪
♪ Makin' believin' he was
evil ♪
♪ struttin' in his mama's
Evil ♪
♪ struttin' in his mama's
clothes, yeah ♪
♪ Struttin' in his mama's
clothes, yeah ♪
♪ eddie had a bad
Clothes, yeah ♪
♪ eddie had a bad
connection, baby ♪
♪ Eddie had a bad
connection, baby ♪
♪ never had a chance to ball ♪
Connection, baby ♪
♪ never had a chance to ball ♪
♪ sleeping in the wrong
♪ Never had a chance to ball ♪
♪ sleeping in the wrong
direction, baby ♪
♪ Sleeping in the wrong
direction, baby ♪
♪ dreamin' he was 10 feet tall ♪
Direction, baby ♪
♪ dreamin' he was 10 feet tall ♪
♪ now eddie the eunuch is a
♪ Dreamin' he was 10 feet tall ♪
♪ now eddie the eunuch is a
rock-'n'-roll critic ♪
♪ Now eddie the eunuch is a
rock-'n'-roll critic ♪
♪ suckin' like a superstar ♪
Rock-'n'-roll critic ♪
♪ suckin' like a superstar ♪
♪ oh, how, how ♪
♪ Suckin' like a superstar ♪
♪ oh, how, how ♪
♪ slicker than a shoeshine ♪
♪ Oh, how, how ♪
♪ slicker than a shoeshine ♪
♪ quicker than a two-time ♪
♪ Slicker than a shoeshine ♪
♪ quicker than a two-time ♪
♪ eddie, what a thang you are ♪
♪ Quicker than a two-time ♪
♪ eddie, what a thang you are ♪
♪ whoa, whoa, yeah ♪
♪ Eddie, what a thang you are ♪
♪ whoa, whoa, yeah ♪
you know who you are.
♪ You know that eddie makes a
damn good livin', baby ♪
♪ puttin' other people down ♪
Damn good livin', baby ♪
♪ puttin' other people down ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ Puttin' other people down ♪
♪ oh ♪
♪ eddie couldn't ever forgive
♪ Oh ♪
♪ eddie couldn't ever forgive
them, baby ♪
♪ Eddie couldn't ever forgive
them, baby ♪
♪ 'cause he wasn't
Them, baby ♪
♪ 'cause he wasn't
jackson browne ♪
♪ 'Cause he wasn't
jackson browne ♪
♪ now eddie the eunuch is a
Jackson browne ♪
♪ now eddie the eunuch is a
rock-'n'-roll critic ♪
♪ Now eddie the eunuch is a
rock-'n'-roll critic ♪
♪ suckin' like a superstar ♪
Rock-'n'-roll critic ♪
♪ suckin' like a superstar ♪
♪ oh, how, how ♪
♪ Suckin' like a superstar ♪
♪ oh, how, how ♪
♪ slicker than a shoeshine ♪
♪ Oh, how, how ♪
♪ slicker than a shoeshine ♪
♪ quicker than a two-time ♪
♪ Slicker than a shoeshine ♪
♪ quicker than a two-time ♪
♪ eddie, what a thang you are ♪
♪ Quicker than a two-time ♪
♪ eddie, what a thang you are ♪
♪ so ♪
♪ Eddie, what a thang you are ♪
♪ so ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ So ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ aha-ha ♪
♪ But we love you, eddie ♪
♪ aha-ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ Aha-ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ Love you, eddie ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ But we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ Ha-ha ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ eddie ♪
♪ Love you, eddie ♪
♪ eddie ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ Eddie ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ But we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ Ha-ha ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha ♪
♪ Love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ Ha ♪
♪ but we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ But we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ Ha-ha ha ♪
♪ love you, eddie ♪
♪ yes, we love you, eddie ♪
♪ Love you, eddie ♪
♪ yes, we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ Yes, we love you, eddie ♪
♪ ha-ha ha ♪
♪ we love you, eddie ♪
♪ Ha-ha ha ♪
♪ we love you, eddie ♪
[cheers and applause]
Let the church say, "amen."
Amen!
Let the church say, "amen."
Amen!
And I just want to say a word
About brother jimmy carter.
Jimmy carter is not one of your
northern liberals going around
promising pie in the sky.
Northern liberals going around
promising pie in the sky.
Amen.
Promising pie in the sky.
Amen.
Amen!
Amen.
Amen!
Jimmy carter is a southerner
Amen!
Jimmy carter is a southerner
who is going to give us our
Jimmy carter is a southerner
who is going to give us our
piece of the pie.
Who is going to give us our
piece of the pie.
Hallelujah.
Piece of the pie.
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah!
Now, when I marched with
Hallelujah!
Now, when I marched with
dr. Martin luther king...
Now, when I marched with
dr. Martin luther king...
Amen...
Dr. Martin luther king...
Amen...
Amen.
Amen...
Amen.
He prophesied about a new
Amen.
He prophesied about a new
kingdom free of the burden of
He prophesied about a new
kingdom free of the burden of
race.
Kingdom free of the burden of
race.
Hallelujah!
Race.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
And jimmy carter has come
Hallelujah!
And jimmy carter has come
from that part of the country
And jimmy carter has come
from that part of the country
that has freed itself from the
From that part of the country
that has freed itself from the
burden of race!
That has freed itself from the
burden of race!
Hallelujah!
Burden of race!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Now, you know, there is
Hallelujah!
Now, you know, there is
something prophetic about the
Now, you know, there is
something prophetic about the
carter name.
Something prophetic about the
carter name.
Yeah.
Carter name.
Yeah.
Do you realize that
Yeah.
Do you realize that
jimmy carter's initials are
Do you realize that
jimmy carter's initials are
j.c.?
Jimmy carter's initials are
j.c.?
Hallelujah!
J.c.?
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
And jimmy carter is a capricorn.
Hallelujah!
And jimmy carter is a capricorn.
Hallelujah!
And jimmy carter is a capricorn.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
And jimmy carter is going to
Hallelujah!
And jimmy carter is going to
lead all of america into that
And jimmy carter is going to
lead all of america into that
glorious new kingdom!
Lead all of america into that
glorious new kingdom!
Hallelujah!
Glorious new kingdom!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Not today, not tomorrow...
Hallelujah!
Not today, not tomorrow...
No!
Not today, not tomorrow...
No!
But yesterday.
No!
But yesterday.
Hallelujah!
But yesterday.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Yes, and j.c. Is going to be
Hallelujah!
Yes, and j.c. Is going to be
in d.c.
Yes, and j.c. Is going to be
in d.c.
Hallelujah!
In d.c.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
And gabriel is going to
Hallelujah!
And gabriel is going to
♪ blo-o-o-w his ho-o-o-rn ♪
And gabriel is going to
♪ blo-o-o-w his ho-o-o-rn ♪
hallelujah!
♪ Blo-o-o-w his ho-o-o-rn ♪
hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Ladies and gentlemen, the
Hallelujah!
Ladies and gentlemen, the
next president of the
Ladies and gentlemen, the
next president of the
united states, jimmy carter.
Next president of the
united states, jimmy carter.
Hallelujah!
United states, jimmy carter.
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
[Applause]
Hallelujah!
[Applause]
hi, andrew.
[Applause]
hi, andrew.
Nice to see you.
Hi, andrew.
Nice to see you.
Thank you.
Nice to see you.
Thank you.
Thank you, representative young.
Thank you.
Thank you, representative young.
You know, brothers and sisters,
Thank you, representative young.
You know, brothers and sisters,
if there's one man to whom I'm
You know, brothers and sisters,
if there's one man to whom I'm
politically indebted, it's
If there's one man to whom I'm
politically indebted, it's
andy young, most certainly.
Politically indebted, it's
andy young, most certainly.
Many people think that,
Andy young, most certainly.
Many people think that,
naturally, I'm going to reward
Many people think that,
naturally, I'm going to reward
andy young with some important
Naturally, I'm going to reward
andy young with some important
post in the carter
Andy young with some important
post in the carter
administration.
Post in the carter
administration.
Well, I'm here to say right now
Administration.
Well, I'm here to say right now
to you people that you're not
Well, I'm here to say right now
to you people that you're not
going to be seeing andy young
To you people that you're not
going to be seeing andy young
driving in a big, fancy
Going to be seeing andy young
driving in a big, fancy
limousine or living in some big
Driving in a big, fancy
limousine or living in some big
mansion in georgetown or sitting
Limousine or living in some big
mansion in georgetown or sitting
in some big, executive-leather
Mansion in georgetown or sitting
in some big, executive-leather
swivel chair.
In some big, executive-leather
swivel chair.
No, andy young will most
Swivel chair.
No, andy young will most
definitely not receive a
No, andy young will most
definitely not receive a
political payoff.
Definitely not receive a
political payoff.
He will not serve in my cabinet.
Political payoff.
He will not serve in my cabinet.
He's going to remain in the
He will not serve in my cabinet.
He's going to remain in the
house of representatives, where
He's going to remain in the
house of representatives, where
he can serve you, the people who
House of representatives, where
he can serve you, the people who
need him, as humbly as
He can serve you, the people who
need him, as humbly as
he did when he was an aide to
Need him, as humbly as
he did when he was an aide to
our fallen prophet,
He did when he was an aide to
our fallen prophet,
martin luther king.
Our fallen prophet,
martin luther king.
So remember, on november 2nd,
Martin luther king.
So remember, on november 2nd,
jimmy carter owes nothing to
So remember, on november 2nd,
jimmy carter owes nothing to
nobody.
Jimmy carter owes nothing to
nobody.
Thank you.
Nobody.
Thank you.
[Light applause]
Thank you.
[Light applause]
but, jimmy, that's not what
[Light applause]
but, jimmy, that's not what
you told me.
But, jimmy, that's not what
you told me.
Never mind, andrew, it's for
You told me.
Never mind, andrew, it's for
your benefit.
Never mind, andrew, it's for
your benefit.
I'm just trying to establish a
Your benefit.
I'm just trying to establish a
little credibility for the two
I'm just trying to establish a
little credibility for the two
of us.
Little credibility for the two
of us.
It's for your benefit.
Of us.
It's for your benefit.
Just remember that.
It's for your benefit.
Just remember that.
[Echoing] it's for you
Just remember that.
[Echoing] it's for you
benefit, for your benefit.
[Echoing] it's for you
benefit, for your benefit.
It's for your benefit, andrew.
Benefit, for your benefit.
It's for your benefit, andrew.
It's for you benefit.
It's for your benefit, andrew.
It's for you benefit.
It's for your benefit.
It's for you benefit.
It's for your benefit.
For your benefit, andrew.
It's for your benefit.
For your benefit, andrew.
For your benefit.
For your benefit, andrew.
For your benefit.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
For your benefit.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut oil.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut oil.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut oil.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut, peanut.
Peanut oil, peanut oil.
Peanut, peanut.
[Moaning]
Peanut, peanut.
[Moaning]
peanut oil.
[Moaning]
peanut oil.
Andrew?
Peanut oil.
Andrew?
Huh?! Huh?!
Andrew?
Huh?! Huh?!
Wake up. What's the matter?
Huh?! Huh?!
Wake up. What's the matter?
I-i had a dream.
Wake up. What's the matter?
I-i had a dream.
I-i had a dream.
I-i had a dream.
I-i had a dream.
Oh, andrew, that's beautiful.
I-i had a dream.
Oh, andrew, that's beautiful.
[Cheers and applause]
Ladies and gentlemen, nbc's
"saturday night" is proud to
present, through the medium of
"Saturday night" is proud to
present, through the medium of
television, a unique theatrical
Present, through the medium of
television, a unique theatrical
experience... Our production of
Television, a unique theatrical
experience... Our production of
the avant-garde classic
Experience... Our production of
the avant-garde classic
"waiting for pardo."
Is he comin'?
I don't think so.
Have you ever seen him?
I don't think so.
Have you ever seen him?
No. Nobody has.
Have you ever seen him?
No. Nobody has.
Well, how do you know he
No. Nobody has.
Well, how do you know he
exists?
Well, how do you know he
exists?
What?
Exists?
What?
How do you know he exists?
What?
How do you know he exists?
I've heard him.
How do you know he exists?
I've heard him.
Where? On game shows?
I've heard him.
Where? On game shows?
Yes.
Where? On game shows?
Yes.
"Jeopardy!"
Yes.
"Jeopardy!"
We can't wait much longer.
"Jeopardy!"
We can't wait much longer.
We don't have much time.
We can't wait much longer.
We don't have much time.
Announcer: yes, you do,
We don't have much time.
Announcer: yes, you do,
boys, 'cause here's good news!
Space and time are empirically
Real but transcendentally ideal,
Bill!
Yours from immanuel kant, where
Time and space work hand in hand
For you!
[Sighs]
what's it like?
What?
What's it like?
What?
The face of pardo.
What?
The face of pardo.
Hmm, it's been said that it's
The face of pardo.
Hmm, it's been said that it's
very beautiful.
Hmm, it's been said that it's
very beautiful.
Yes.
Very beautiful.
Yes.
Though no one's ever seen it.
Yes.
Though no one's ever seen it.
Let's look for it.
Though no one's ever seen it.
Let's look for it.
Announcer: keep looking,
Let's look for it.
Announcer: keep looking,
boys, 'cause all things which
Announcer: keep looking,
boys, 'cause all things which
are are in themselves or in
Boys, 'cause all things which
are are in themselves or in
another thing, bill!
Are are in themselves or in
another thing, bill!
Another quality idea from
Another thing, bill!
Another quality idea from
spinoza!
Another quality idea from
spinoza!
Well, he's not in here.
Spinoza!
Well, he's not in here.
Not in here either.
Well, he's not in here.
Not in here either.
It's a struggle.
Not in here either.
It's a struggle.
Putting on your shoe?
It's a struggle.
Putting on your shoe?
No, putting on yours.
Putting on your shoe?
No, putting on yours.
I think we're losing this
No, putting on yours.
I think we're losing this
game.
I think we're losing this
game.
Announcer: no way, big fella!
Game.
Announcer: no way, big fella!
The proletarians have nothing to
Announcer: no way, big fella!
The proletarians have nothing to
lose but their chains!
The proletarians have nothing to
lose but their chains!
Workers of the world unite, bob!
Lose but their chains!
Workers of the world unite, bob!
From "das kapital" by marx!
Workers of the world unite, bob!
From "das kapital" by marx!
Back to you, bill!
From "das kapital" by marx!
Back to you, bill!
Tell me, you like my t-shirt?
Back to you, bill!
Tell me, you like my t-shirt?
I have one.
Tell me, you like my t-shirt?
I have one.
Bloomingdale's?
I have one.
Bloomingdale's?
Macy's.
Bloomingdale's?
Macy's.
[Sniffles]
Macy's.
[Sniffles]
let's just keep waiting.
Announcer: and you'll be glad
You did, you lucky devils, you,
Because, from the fabulous
"Book of changes" comes success!
It furthers one to cross the
Great water!
Perseverance furthers, bill!
From the good folks at I ching!
He must be very smart.
Announcer: I think.
Therefore, I am, bill!
Announcer: I think.
Therefore, I am, bill!
Something to think about from
Therefore, I am, bill!
Something to think about from
rené descartes of paris!
Something to think about from
rené descartes of paris!
Knock, knock.
René descartes of paris!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bob.
Who's there?
Bob.
Knock, knock.
Bob.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill.
Who's there?
Bill.
100 Bottles of beer on the
Bill.
100 Bottles of beer on the
wall.
100 Bottles of beer on the
wall.
100 Bottles of beer.
Wall.
100 Bottles of beer.
If one of those bottles
100 Bottles of beer.
If one of those bottles
should happen to fall...
If one of those bottles
should happen to fall...
99 Bottles of beer on the
Should happen to fall...
99 Bottles of beer on the
wall.
99 Bottles of beer on the
wall.
99 Bottles of beer on the
Wall.
99 Bottles of beer on the
wall.
Announcer: and while you're
Waiting for pardo, have a nice
Day, bill!
Loosely based on a concept by
Rod mckuen.
Bottles of beer on the
wall?
98 Bottles of beer on the
Wall?
98 Bottles of beer on the
wall.
98 Bottles of beer on the
wall.
98 Bottles of beer.
Wall.
98 Bottles of beer.
If one of those bottles...
98 Bottles of beer.
If one of those bottles...
Are you sure this is the way
If one of those bottles...
Are you sure this is the way
steve mcqueen got started?
Are you sure this is the way
steve mcqueen got started?
[Applause]
[Introduction to "I've got a
life of my own" plays]
♪ I said, I got a life of my
[Life of my own" plays]
♪ I said, I got a life of my
own ♪
♪ I said, I got a life of my
own ♪
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
Own ♪
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
♪ I said, don't try to make me a
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
♪ I said, don't try to make me a
part of no plan ♪
♪ I said, don't try to make me a
part of no plan ♪
♪ take me or leave me alone ♪
Part of no plan ♪
♪ take me or leave me alone ♪
♪ freedom's a feeling that few
♪ Take me or leave me alone ♪
♪ freedom's a feeling that few
understand ♪
♪ Freedom's a feeling that few
understand ♪
♪ and I got a life of my own ♪
Understand ♪
♪ and I got a life of my own ♪
♪ and I said, I ought to know
♪ And I got a life of my own ♪
♪ and I said, I ought to know
where to sow my own seeds ♪
♪ And I said, I ought to know
where to sow my own seeds ♪
♪ and when I ought to leave it
Where to sow my own seeds ♪
♪ and when I ought to leave it
alone ♪
♪ And when I ought to leave it
alone ♪
♪ oh, ooh ♪
Alone ♪
♪ oh, ooh ♪
♪ trouble's an old friend ♪
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
♪ trouble's an old friend ♪
♪ that I didn't need then ♪
♪ Trouble's an old friend ♪
♪ that I didn't need then ♪
♪ I had a wife of my own ♪
♪ That I didn't need then ♪
♪ I had a wife of my own ♪
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
♪ I had a wife of my own ♪
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
some people.
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
some people.
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
♪ I caught a beer bottle flat in
the face ♪
♪ it laid me back to the bone ♪
The face ♪
♪ it laid me back to the bone ♪
♪ hate is a flavor that's ugly
♪ It laid me back to the bone ♪
♪ hate is a flavor that's ugly
to taste ♪
♪ Hate is a flavor that's ugly
to taste ♪
♪ I had a knife of my own ♪
To taste ♪
♪ I had a knife of my own ♪
♪ and now they leave me alone
♪ I had a knife of my own ♪
♪ and now they leave me alone
and alive by myself ♪
♪ And now they leave me alone
and alive by myself ♪
♪ lost in the steel and the
And alive by myself ♪
♪ lost in the steel and the
stone ♪
♪ Lost in the steel and the
stone ♪
♪ hopin' for heaven and headin'
Stone ♪
♪ hopin' for heaven and headin'
for hell ♪
♪ Hopin' for heaven and headin'
for hell ♪
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
For hell ♪
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
♪ I told 'em, I got a life of my
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
♪ I told 'em, I got a life of my
own ♪
♪ I told 'em, I got a life of my
own ♪
I got to quit payin' them, too.
Own ♪
I got to quit payin' them, too.
♪ I said, I got a life of my
I got to quit payin' them, too.
♪ I said, I got a life of my
own ♪
♪ I said, I got a life of my
own ♪
whoo, and they said, "who
Own ♪
whoo, and they said, "who
cares?" And I said, "buddy, I'll
Whoo, and they said, "who
cares?" And I said, "buddy, I'll
tell you, I got one.
Cares? "And I said," buddy, I'll
tell you, I got one.
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
Tell you, I got one.
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
they said, "that's some life.
♪ I got a life of my own ♪
they said, "that's some life.
Look at you."
They said, "that's some life.
Look at you."
♪ I got a life ♪
Look at you."
♪ I got a life ♪
♪ of my own ♪
[Cheers and applause]
[Band plays]
all right, I just want to
thank all the people who let us
All right, I just want to
thank all the people who let us
be on this show with all the
Thank all the people who let us
be on this show with all the
crazy people that work on it.
Be on this show with all the
crazy people that work on it.
They got one of the greatest
Crazy people that work on it.
They got one of the greatest
studio bands there probably is
They got one of the greatest
studio bands there probably is
anywhere, and I got one of the
Studio bands there probably is
anywhere, and I got one of the
best bands, too.
Anywhere, and I got one of the
best bands, too.
[Cheers and applause]
Best bands, too.
[Cheers and applause]
hey, it's such a damn pleasure
[Cheers and applause]
hey, it's such a damn pleasure
to work anyplace where you got
Hey, it's such a damn pleasure
to work anyplace where you got
any real imagination that's
To work anyplace where you got
any real imagination that's
working, and I got a great band
Any real imagination that's
working, and I got a great band
and great girls back there
Working, and I got a great band
and great girls back there
working with me, too.
And great girls back there
working with me, too.
God bless you all.
Working with me, too.
God bless you all.
Thanks for everything.
God bless you all.
Thanks for everything.
[Band plays]
Thanks for everything.
[Band plays]
[cheers and applause]
Hi, this is dan aykroyd, one
Of the not-ready-for-prime-time
Players, inviting you to watch
"The beach boys special" on nbc
On thursday, august 5th.
Some of us from "saturday night"
Were involved in the production,
And you'll be neatly surprised.
Sand, sun, sand, sun, sand, sun,
And more.
That's the beach boys, thursday,
August 5th on nbc.
Thanks a lot. Good night.
[Applause continues]
01x24 - Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge
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The show's comedy sketches, which often parody contemporary American culture and politics, are performed by a large and varying cast of repertory and newer cast members.
The show's comedy sketches, which often parody contemporary American culture and politics, are performed by a large and varying cast of repertory and newer cast members.