02x26 - Dennis' Obligation

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dennis the Menace". Aired: October 4, 1959 – July 7, 1963.*
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
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02x26 - Dennis' Obligation

Post by bunniefuu »

-We sure do miss you, honey.

How much longer you
gonna have to stay?

-Oh, just a few more weeks.

Dad tried his new crutches
today and got along beautifully.

How's grandma?

-Oh, she's just fine.

I'm driving her up to
Rockdale and back tonight.

She has to get
some more clothes.

-Well, did you get a sitter?
-Yes.

Miss Cathcart's gonna stay with,
uh, Dennis while we're gone.

Oh, I think he wants
to talk to you.

-Hi mom!

-Hello darling.

How's my big boy?

-Well.

But we sure miss you.

-Oh.

I miss you too.

How's grandma and
Mr. and Mrs. Wilson?

-They're fine.

And you know what mom?

Mr. Wilson is the nicest man
in the whole wide, wide world!

-He is.

-Boy, is he great.

He's all the time wanting
to do things for ya.

-Well, that's nice.

What does he want to do now?

-He just told me he
was gonna fix my wagon,

and it isn't even broken yet!

[theme song]

-Now stop gulping
your breakfast, boys.

I believe in being on time, but
not at the risk of indigestion.

-Yes.

What are those strings
on your fingers for?

-Well, this one is
to remind me not

to forget that I got a
string on the other finger

to remind me of something.

-What?

-I think I forgot.

-Where's your jacket, dear?

-Do I have to wear
a jacket, grandma?

-Yes, you do.

I'll get it, and I'll
bring you a sweater, Henry.

-Oh, I'm all right, mother.
-Now, son.

Warmth helps digestion.

-But mom!

-You sound just like me!

-I do at that.
-Hey!

I just remembered.

This one is to remind me
to ask you for permission.

-For what?

-To bring something
home from school.

You see, it gets
cold on the weekends

when they turn the
heat off, and the kids

get to bring things home.

-Like what?

-There's Bob, the big long rat!

-Well, I don't think so.

-And there's a bunch
of little white mice!

-No, mice, Dennis.

-OK!

Maybe I could get the parakeet.

And there's a
hamster, and there's

a little teeny duck
and a garter snake!

-Are you going to
a school or a zoo?

-Can I have permission
to bring something home?

-Look, Dennis.

Your mother's away
and your grandmother's

having a rough
enough time trying

to take care of both of us.

Besides, you've never learned to
take care of anything properly.

-I'll take care of
what I bring, honest!

Hey!

There's even an
incubator with eggs!

-You just don't live up to your
obligations with pets, Dennis.

It took your mother and me
four days to find that turtle.

-If I could bring
something home, you'd see.

It's just for the weekend.

-Well, OK.
All right.

You get one more chance.

But if you don't really take
care of whatever you bring

home, if anything
happens to it, it'll

be a long time before
you get another pet.

Now, is that a deal?

-Promise!

-Now, bundle up, boys.

-You're the best dad in
the whole world and a half!

-Well, thank you.

-Bye grandma!

Bye dad!

-Bye-bye, dear.

-Bye, son.

-Oh, now be careful.

You'll muss your hair.

-Yes, mother.

-Now, you'll have to
straighten your tie.

-Yes, mother.

-What time shall I tell
Miss Cathcart to get here?

-Oh, about o'clock.

You and I can have
dinner on the way.

[doorbell]

-Oh, good morning, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, hello Mitchell.

Mrs. Mitchell.

-Good morning, Mr. Wilson.

-I, uh, just wanted to remind
you about the neighborhood

association meeting
at my house tonight.

-Tonight?
-Um-hmm.

: .

-Golly, Mr. Wilson, I
forgot all about it.

I'm driving mother up
to Rockdale and back.

-Well, maybe you
can get back in time

to attend some of
the meeting at least.

We need a few level
heads like yours.

-Oh?

-Oh, the firebrands
are out in force.

Why they've even
summoned Sergeant Mooney

to attend the meeting.

-What for?

-Oh, some of the members
are up in arms because

of the lack of enforcement
of some of the zoning laws

and so on.

-Maybe if you're still
going when I get back,

I'll drop over.

-Oh, you do that.

-I'd better to get off
to the office, mother.

-All right, dear.

-Oh, by the way, Mitchell,
how's your chess coming?

-Just fair, Mr. Wilson.

Say, how's the
game you're having

with that expert in the East?

-Oh!

I have him completely stumped.

I mailed him my move a
month ago and haven't

heard from him since.

He doesn't answer
me by tomorrow,

he'll lose by default!
-Good.

-Let's see if anything
hatched on the way home!

-Yeah!

-Nope.

None of them hatched.

-They need teeth to hatch!

We've got to plug
in the electricity.

-What's electricity
got to do with it?

-An incubator is electrical,
and it kind of sits on eggs

until they turn into chicks.

It's the same as a hen.

-If I was an egg,
I'd rather be sat

on by a hen than electrified.

-Where you gonna find a hen
big enough to sit on eggs?

-Yeah!
-Come on.

These eggs are getting cold.

- eggs.

Boy!

-Now I'll plug it in.

There we are!

You keep your eye on them,
Tommy, till I find something.

-You can get awful tired
looking at just eggs.

When are they gonna be chicks?

-When they get heated enough
from that electrical light.

Here's one of the things
I was looking for.

-What do you want with that?

-To mark the eggs.

I'm going put a blue
mark on one side,

and a red one on the other.

That is, if I can
find a red crayon.

-What are you coloring them for?

-I'm gonna put
different marks on them

so I won't get mixed
up when I turn them.

-Turn em?
-Sure!

Incubating eggs have to be
turned several times a day.

And these have to be
turned again at o'clock.

Hey!

Be careful with that!

-What is it?

-A hinge from a pirate ship!

-Honest!

-Well, it's from a ship.

-Really?

-Well, I found it on the beach,
so what else could it be?

-I'll give you my dried up
rattle snake skin for it!

-I'll look at the
skin and decide.

Hey!

The light's out!

-Yeah, and the eggs
are getting cold fast!

-We gotta get another
bulb right away!

-Here's one, Dennis!

-That's not the kind, Tommy.

-What kind do we need?

-What we gotta have is a--
- - V, - - W Usa bulb.

-Usa?

-U-S-A.

-Gosh.

Where are we gonna
find one of those?

-You keep your eye on the
eggs and I'll go look.

-Is that you, Dennis?

-Yes, grandma!

GRANDMA (OFFSCREEN): I've

for you, Dennis.

I'll get it just as soon
as I'm through here.

-Be right back, grandma!

-Look, Dennis.

-That's not strong
enough, Tommy!

-Did you find one?

-Not a bulb in the house
that's a - - V, - - W Usa.

-We could go and check my house!

-Mr. Wilson will
have one, I bet!

He's always got just
what you have to borrow!

Come on!

-But Dennis!

What about the eggs?

-We'll keep them
warm in that blanket!

That'll be better than nothing!

Careful, Tommy!

-Here's your sandwich, dear.

-Be right back, grandma!

-Girls are a lot easier
to take care of than boys.

What on earth is
that child doing

with all these eggs in his room?

-Oh.

Then you'll be here tonight.

Fine.
Goodbye.

-Hi, Mr. Wilson!

-Oh, Tommy.

Dennis, I'm busy.

-Me too, Mr. Wilson.

I'm busy getting light bulbs.

It's a - - V, - - W Usa.

-Usa?

-It's a matter of
life and death!

-Oh, I'll bet.

-If I don't get a
light bulb, I'll

never get to have another pet!

-Good!

-But Mr. Wilson!

-Oh, Dennis!

Well, if I let you have
a bulb, will you go home?

-Yes, Mr. Wilson.

-Well, good.

Look around the room.

Maybe you'll find one
in one of the lamps.

-Swell!

-Busy.
Oh!

Not that one!

Get away from that table.

You might disturb my chess game.

-My dad plays chest.

-It's chess.

And that table is
set up like that

because I'm playing
a game with somebody.

-You are!

You're playing
with somebody, now?

-Right this very minute
I'm playing with a man,

and I've got him in
a very tough spot.

-You're playing with a man?

-Yes.

-Is he the invisible
man, Mr. Wilson?

-Invi-- oh, fiddle fat.

-Hey Dennis!

Here's a bulb, I bet ya!
-Yeah!

That's the one!

I'll get it!

-Operator, would you
check Adam ?

It's always busy.

-It's hot!

Dennis!

-Hey Mr. Wilson!

Catch!
-Ow!

Ooo!

Dennis, Tommy, for Pete's sake!

Ooo!

-Dennis!

-Hello, Mrs. Wilson!

Goodbye, Mrs. Wilson!

-Here's a ladder for you, dear.

-Oh, thank you, Martha.

Well, from my opponent
in Bell Harbor.

Huh-oh!

He's probably given up
and is conceding defeat.

-You're too good at chess, dear.

-Oh, it couldn't be.

It just couldn't be!

-What is it?

-Martha, listen to this.

Dear Mr. Wilson.

Are you stumped?

I've waited for a month now.

It's your move!

-Oh, dear!

-Why, I thought all
along it was his move!

Oh, for heaven's sake!

[gasp] He's absolutely right.

Oh, Martha, what
am I going to do?

If he doesn't hear from me by
tomorrow, I'll lose by default!

-Could you send him a wire?

-Oh, Martha.

You just don't understand.

Why, a problem such
as this requires

a week of concentration!

-My George can do it.

-Well, not unless I have
absolute peace and quiet I

can't.

Why I should shut myself up in
a dark room for an entire day

without a sound or a
distracting thought.

-This'll do it!

Now, you put the bulb in,
and I'll get the eggs.

The eggs!

The eggs!

-They're gone!
-Grandma!

Grandma!

-Grandma, did you do
anything with my eggs!

-You shouldn't play
with food, dear.

There are too many hungry
people in the world.

-Grandma, did you see my eggs?

-Yes.

I found them in your room and
I put them in the refrigerator.

-In the refrigerator!

-Hurry, Dennis!

-We can't let them get cold!

-Oh, you can't?

-They're special eggs, grandma.

I got them from school,
and I'm taking care of them

so they'll hatch!

-Oh, my!

Here, let me help you!

-They gotta be put
back in the incubator!

-Just wait'll dad
hears about this!

-Well, never you mind.

It's all my fault.

I'll explain to your father.

-And you're turned, little
chick, and you're turned,

and you're turned,
and you're turned.

-How you doing, son?

-I'm turning them, dad,
like you're supposed to.

I sure hope they didn't get
too cold in the ice box.

-Grandma said they were only
in there for a few minutes.

They're OK.

-I sure don't want anything
to happen to my obligation.

-Grandma told me all about.

You're doing a fine job, son.

I'm real proud of you.

[doorbell]

-That must be Miss Cathcart.

She's going to stay with
you till we get back.

-I like Miss Cathcart.

I bet she'll be
glad to see my eggs!

-One good turn deserves another.

Mother, bless her, used to say.

-Did your mom, bless
her, have an incubator?

-No, dear.

Well, time for you
to go beddy bye.

Lights out.

-Oh, don't turn the light
out in the incubator.

They gotta have light
on all the time.

They're my
[thunder]

--obligation.
-Oh, goodness.

Come along.

Sleep tight.

"To sleep, to sleep,
perchance to dream."

Bet you don't know
who said that.

-Your mom, bless her?

-No.
Shakespeare.

He was a famousplay
wright, born in .

-Did you know him well?

-Goodnight, Dennis.

-I'll hang it up for
you, Mrs. Elkins.

Just take your seat.

[thunder]

-Yes, and you see
it's, uh, it's my move,

and so I have to wire
my opponent tomorrow.

Oh, excuse me.

May I have your
attention folks, please?

[thunder]

-I, first of all, want to thank
you for coming out on the such

a dismal evening.

But since we have nowhere
near the number for a quorum,

I am forced to call
this meeting adjourned.

So be it!

-Just a minute!

Quorum or no quorum.

I have something on my mind!

And since Sergeant Mooney of
the police force is present,

I intend to put
it on the agenda!

-And so do I!

-I should say so!

-But I thought,
uh-- Well, I-- I--

I thought with so few here and
it being so bad a night out,

that you'd all--
[thunder]

--want to race right home!

-In all this rain?

I should say not.

We're not moving.

-Absolutely not!

-Well, in that case,
the meeting is now open.

[thunder]

-Are you all right, Dennis?

I'm all right.

I'm just wondering
if you're all right.

-Sure.

-And I used to be
afraid of thunder

when I was a little girl,
but I'm not afraid anymore!

-Once my grandpa said thunder
was just clouds bumping,

and it made me laugh, so I'm
never afraid of the noise.

Goodnight, Miss Cathcart.

[thunder]
-Dennis!

Now don't be afraid!

Everything's going
to be all right!

Think good thoughts.

Whistle something!

-The lights are out!

Miss Cathcart!

My eggs won't hatch if they
don't have heat on them!

-Now, Dennis.
Everything's going to be fine.

There's no need to be
nervous about anything.

Just whistle!

Oh, I can't seem to pucker!

-Maybe Mr. Wilson's
lights are on!

I'll go see!

-That's good thinking!

-Keep cool, Dennis!

Keep cool!

-Mr. Wilson's lights are on!

I'll call him and maybe
he'll let us come over there.

There's something
wrong with the phone!

It's got no [mouth sound].

It's broken!

-You're right.

It's dead!

Now keep your spirits up, child.

We can sing something
if you like.

Hmm-hmm.

[sing] Oh beautiful,
for spacious skies,

for amber waves of grain.

For purp--

-It stopped raining, so I'm
going to get the incubator over

to Mr. Wilson's house fast!

-Oh, I'll say!

Oh boy!

[inaudible] and I'll be there!

-Mr. Wilson's dog, Fremont,
chased my Tinkerbell up a tree

this very morning!

Now, there's a law
that says that dogs

must be kept on a
leash, and I insist

that Sergeant Mooney
carry out that law!

-But Mrs. Elkins--

-Well, it's a silly law.

-Well, I have a complaint.

Tinkerbell comes to
my house and disturbs

the birds that come
to take a bird bath!

Sergeant Mooney, I
want that cat arrested!

-Now, ladies!

-Now see here.

I--

-And there's another
law that prohibits

the raising of barnyard
fowls and other animals,

and Sergeant Mooney here doesn't
even attempt to enforce it.

Mr. Wade here has a
couple of pet roosters

that are the nuisance
of the neighborhood.

It's useless to try
to sleep past sunrise.

-Now wait just a
minute, Maurice!

-Now it's up to you, Sergeant.
-I should say!

-You're right folks.

It's the letter of the law,
but most folks around here

didn't want to have it enforced.

But from now on, anyone with
any animal running around

without at leash, or possessing
a barnyard animal or fowl

is going to get the
book thrown at him!

[door buzzer]

-Oh.

Get the back door, will
you, Martha, please?

-And I'll start right
now by making out

a ticket against Mr. Wilson
for letting his dog run around

without a leash.

The judge will fine you $ .

And Mr. Wade back here will be
fined $ for his two roosters.

That's $ a chicken.

And Mrs. Elkins here
will also get a $ ticket

for letting her cat run
around without a leash!

-That's outrageous!
[arguing]

-Well, I never heard of
anything so ridiculous--

-It's adjourned!

All in favor!
-Dennis!

Come on in.

Hello, Miss Cathcart.
-Hello, Ms. Wilson

-Is something wrong?

-Our electricity
was off, and I gotta

have electricity, Mrs. Wilson.

-Do you wanna go to bed here?

-I gotta stay up
and watch my eggs!

-Your eggs?

-Yeah.
In the incubator.

Where's a good place to
plug this in, Mrs. Wilson?

I can't wait for Mr.
Wilson to see em.

-Well I-- I don't think you
better show them to Mr. Wilson

now, Dennis.

You see, there's this
meeting, and then

he has his chess problem.

-Oh, mustard
plaster's marvelous.

-I said chess problem.

-Oh.

-I just thought it
would be fun for him

to watch them when they hatch.
-Hatch?

You mean there are going
to be little chickens?

-Sure, Mrs. Wilson!

Any time now!

-But it's against the law.

Sergeant Mooney's
on the rampage.

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Martha?
Oh, Martha?

-[gasp] Quick!
Hide them.

Don't let him find them!

-Martha, where's
my fountain pen?

That Sergeant Mooney's
making me sign a ticket.

-I'll get it, dear.

-Why, Dennis!

Why, Miss Cathcart,
what's wrong with you?

-Bad back.

-What's that
electric light cord?

-Special electric blanket.

It's my sacroiliac.
-Oh.

You know I've had a bad
sacroiliac for years,

and in damp weather it's m*rder.

Well-- eh, is it any good?

Well, let me try it.

-Oh, no.

It's damp out tonight.

I better stay here
a little longer.

-Come now.

Don't be selfish, woman.

Let me try it.

What do you, just
lean back on it?

It-- Well, it doesn't
feel very warm.

[chick sounds]
-Hey!

They must be starting to hatch!
-Hatch?

-Look!

There's one pecking
away at his shell!

-What in the world?

-Little chickens, Mr. Wilson!

I'm going to have of em!

-Oh, no!

SERGEANT MOONEY
(OFFSCREEN): Hey Wilson!

Mr. Wilson!

-Sergeant Mooney.

Martha, the fountain pen.

-The meeting was adjourned
just as-- sign that ticket.

-Uh, just a second, Sergeant.
-What's a matter with you?

-He has a bad sacroiliac.

That's a special
electric blanket.

-Well, I got a bad back too.

Let me try it.

-Oh, it feels so good.

Just a few more minutes,
please Sergeant!

-No, let me try.

Let me try it!

[chick sounds]

-What's going on?

-Great Scott.

-Oh.

Oh.

Chickens, huh?

You're raising
right under my nose.

Let me see.

One, two, three.

Three times five.

That'll be $ .

[chick sound]

-That's four.

That's $ .

[chick sound]

-And that one makes it $ .

-Sergeant, they aren't mine.

They belong to Dennis.

-Dennis is a minor and
they're on your property.

-Mr. Wilson, have
you seen-- Dennis,

what are you doing over here?

-Our electricity went out, dad,
and I brought the eggs over

here, and they're hatching!

-Mitchell, do something.

Sergeant Mooney's
dug up an old law,

and it's costing me $ for
every egg that hatches.

-That's right, Mr. Mitchell.

-But the chickens
belong to Dennis.

-Well, actually, they belong
to the school, Sergeant Mooney.

Dennis is just
taking care of them.

It's a lesson in learning to
take care of an obligation.

-That's right, Mooney.

Fine the school, if you
have to find someone!

-Well, I-- I can't
fine the school.

They don't have any money.

Sign the ticket and
I'll be on my way.

-It's all signed.

Here.

-Thank you.

-Is Mr. Maurice still here?

-I think so.

-Do you know if he
makes house calls

to repair TV sets at night?

-I guess so, if
it's an emergency.

-Well, I really hate
to miss "Studio One."

-"Studio One?"

That's been off
the air for years!

-You see?

My TV set's in worse
shape than I thought.

I'll let him walk me home.

Goodnight, all.

-Thanks, Miss Cathcart.

-Thanks, Miss Cathcart.
-You're welcome.

-Well, I guess we
better go, Dennis.

-Oh, that's a good idea.

You see, I have a
long night ahead of me

with my chess problem.

-But they're hatching, dad!

I can't leave them here
while they're hatching!

-Of course you can't, dear.

-Martha!

-I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll put a little
folding cot in here,

and you can stay right
with your baby chicks.

-Well, are you sure it's
all right, Ms. Wilson?

-Of course.

-But Martha!

My chess problem!

Solitude!

Oh, Martha!

-Oh, what a night.

I've had my living room
full of creeps, and now

a kitchen full of cheeps.

-Another one just
hatched, Mr. Wilson!

I guess it's your
night, Mr. Wilson!

-My night.

My night in a chess game.

Oh.

Why he's right!

Why, if I sacrificed my
knight, it would be-- Yes!

If I sacrificed my
knight, it would

be the cheapest
move I could make.

I let him have my
knight, and then there's

only one logical
move he can make!

And then!

And then I've got him!

I've got him!
Martha!

Wake up!

What number do I dial
to send a telegram!

[theme music]
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