Secrets of a Secretary (1931)

[bunniefuu]

I'll have it massaged but I won't
have it blistered.

- What's that?
- My figure.

I'm not going to waste
any more time.

I've already spent enough money on it
to restore the battlefields of France.

The young D'Agnolli seems to be giving
Helen Blake quite a rush.

Yes, he's been hanging around
my daughter Sylvia too.

He has?

His father is one the biggest cattle
owners in this part of the country.

True enough. But that's got nothing
to do with him.

His father disowned him three
years ago.

- Oh, Sylvia.
- Yes?

You'll be losing your handsome boyfriend
if you don't look out.

- She can have him.
- Have him? She's got him.

Oh, this party is stupid anyway.

- Good evening.
- Is your father here tonight, Helen?

No, he's not, Mr. Willard.

He wasn't feeling very well so I made
him stay home and go to bed.

I'm sorry.

Oh, how perfectly divine.

Yes, it reminds me of those wonderful
nights on the ranch...

...when we slipped out.

My father has many cattle,
you know, and sometimes...

...when I was a kid I would ride out
with the cowboys...

and sleep as they did, with nothing but
a blanket as a pillow beneath the stars.

It would be so wonderful if we
could sleep that way sometime.

With the cowboys?
Wouldn't it be crowded?

Well, you know what I mean.

Oh yes, I got it.

Helen, I love you.

Will you marry me? If you don't like me
you can get a divorce.

- Now that's an idea.
- Sure, it's a grand idea.

Will you?

Not now. I want to look at the river.

- You're so practical.
- Oh, I have to be with you.

You just want to make me unhappy.

Won't you ever marry me?

Maybe someday I will.

You will, I know you will.

I'll make you marry me.

Unhand that woman.

I ask her to marry me
and she just makes joke.

- Oh, go on, marry the poor guy.
- Don't be selfish, Helen.

Well, listen, how did this rumor
get started anyway?

- Helen.
- Yes, Mr. Merritt.

- Can you spare me a moment?
- Certainly.

Excuse me.

What are you going to do,
m*rder me?

Helen, I'm going to be disagreeable.

I... I can't stand by and watch you...

...get entangled with this D'Agnolli
without saying something.

Oh, Mr. Merritt, I know that you
mean well, but I assure you that...

That you can take care of yourself,
Yes, I know, that's what they all say.

You mustn't forget, I have
a daughter of my own.

If you have a daughter
of your own, I should think...

No... No, I beg your pardon.

Frank, you know I'm crazy
about you.

Why do you do nothing but
humiliate me?

I don't, what's the matter?
Am I not free?

You wouldn't have met her
if it hadn't been for me.

- You wouldn't have met anyone...
- Well, of course I'm grateful...

If I hadn't taken you around
when you first came to New York.

Why, everybody you know you
met through me.

But certainly a man has got
a right to choose his own wife.

- Wife?
- Yes.

You're going to ask Helen Blake
to marry you?

I did already. Yesterday I asked
her three times.

And tonight up to now
I've asked her eleven times.

Then I'm through with you.
Forever.

Oh no, you're not.

Not forever.
Just for a little while.

I may as well tell you, Mr. Merritt,

if you keep on saying things against him,
you'll only draw us closer together.

What does your father say?

My father's perfect.

You mean that he lets you
do as you please.

All right, Helen, I thought it
my duty to warn you.

That's all I have to say.

Thank you.

But Madge, I dipped the spade.
At least I played some black card.

Mother, I'm going to bed.

Going to bed?
Leaving your own party?

- Well, I don't like it.
- I don't like it either,

...but you don't see me going
to bed, do you?

Oh, Madge, I did have a spade.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Good night, darling.

Poor child, she's so high-strung.

- When does Sylvia's fianc? arrive?
- Er... which one?

Oh, of course, Lord Danforth.

He's the only one that ever
really counted.

Uh, in the spring.
Appropriate, don't you think?

What with the robins and everything.

- Where is Helen?
- I don't know.

We're going to scram.
The hostess has turned sour.

- Come on, I sent for the car.
- Where'll we go?

I know, the Club Albany.

Well, isn't that where that man
was k*lled?

- He wasn't k*lled.
- No?

They shot him, stabbed him, and threw
tables at him, but he wasn't k*lled.

- Oh, just injured.
- Hm-hmm.

That's where we want to go,
a nice, safe place.

With these costumes on they'll think
we're part of the show.

Not on your life! You've got
too many clothes on.

- Good evening, Mr. D'Agnolli.
- Good evening, signor.

- A table for four, please.
- Yes, sir.

That boy knows his way around.
The headwaiter knows him.

He knows me too,
but we're not speaking.

Look, there's an empty table over there.
Why can't we have that one?

- That's reserved.
- Well, who's it reserved for?

For gorillas.
That's the cubic section.

The suckers get over here.

I beg your pardon, is this Halloween?

No, Thanksgiving. We always
dress up for Thanksgiving.

- Thanksgiving?
- Yeah.

Oh, I gotta go home.

- Come on, Helen, let's dance.
- Hm-hmm.

Come in.

- I gotta see you.
- I'll be with you in a second, Joe.

Now listen, Eddy, I ain't gonna
talk about it all night.

We don't stand for it, that's all.

Now there's no argument.

He comes across or he gets rubbed out.
Let him know it.

- What is it, Joe?
- That D'Agnolli guy is here again.

Probably wants to sign a check.

He already owes about $300.

- Where is he?
- On the floor.

- Well?
- Let him sign a check.

Okay, boss.

Well!

- Good evening, Mr. D'Agnolli.
- Oh, hello, Dan.

Helen, this is Mr. Marlow who owns
the place.

Miss White and Mr. Rickenbacker.

- We're having a marvelous time.
- Well, that's just what we want you to do.

We've got a good orchestra here...

...and it's a pleasure to see people that
know how to use it the way you folks do.

- See, I told you.
- Oh, Mr. D'Agnolli,

any time you want a job
as a dancer, come and see me.

I'll remember that.

- Vito!
- Yes, sir.

Anything these people want,
you see that they get it.

Yes, sir.

Is there any other place
you'd like to go?

Where are we now?

Someplace in Pennsylvania.

I have a grandfather who lives
in Wilkes-Barre.

- Is he a miner?
- No, he's quite an old man.

Why can't we go home?

No, sir. There'll be plenty of time
for that after we're married.

- Hey, let's get married!
- What?

- Say, Helen.
- Huh?

- Let's get married.
- Who, you and me?

No, you and Frank, or Frank
and me, or Do...

I don't care, I just want to get married.

- Oh, come on, Helen, let's get married.
- I will if you will.

- Oh, you wouldn't really.
- I would too.

I'm tired of always riding
around in cars.

- She's afraid.
- I'm afraid of what?

- Of what people will say.
- I'm never afraid of what people say.

Alright, then let's see you
do it. I will.

Oh say, now wait a minute.

Oh, come on, Helen,
you can't back out.

- I'm not backing out.
- You are, too.

Alright, I'll do what everybody
else will do.

Hooray!

Good night. And thank you.

Good night and much obliged to you.

Wait a minute. Wouldn't you like
to try some honey?

No, thanks, I've got some.

- Are we honestly and truly married?
- Sure.

- Gee, I'm scared.
- Oh, who's scared now?

- Aren't you scared?
- No!

- How do you feel, Frank?
- Fine, thanks.

All right, let's go.

I want to be in time for beddie bed.

Well, that's it for today.

Well, here we are.

Come on, let's all have
some scrambled eggs, huh?

Scrambled eggs, that's the thing.

Oh now, I think we'd better go home.

Dorothy, you don't seem to realize
there are two of us now...

...and I want scrambled eggs.

- Oh, alright.
- Come on, give me the keys.

Miss Blake.

What's the matter?

- Your father.
- Is he worse?

- Yes, he is. We tried to reach you...
- No, he couldn't be!

He was all right when I left.

No... I know everything's
all right.

He's...

Oh, I hate myself!

Father!

Father, what is it?
What's happened?

Nothing, honey, just...

Oh, Father...
Father, speak to me.

Speak to me, please.

You look awfully sweet in that
costume, dear.

Father.

Oh...

This waiting around all the time
gets on a fellow's nerves.

Sorry, you don't have to wait
if you don't want to.

- Yes, who is it, Leroy?
- No one, sir. it's a COD for you, sir.

Oh, I'll see.

- Mr. D'Agnolli?
- Yes.

- One high silk hat.
- Well, why didn't you leave it?

- It's COD, sir.
- COD? What nonsense.

Give it to me at once!

What do you think, I'm going to run away
from a house like this?

- No, sir.
- Well, then, get out of here.

And if I hear any more of your surly
nonsense, I'll remove my traders trust.

- Yes, sir.
- Well then, get out of here, quick!

Quick, quick, quick!

Going somewhere?

Why, Mr. Merritt.
This is an unexpected pleasure.

Oh, is it?
Where's Helen?

Uh, in the living room.
Come on, I'll show you to her.

Young man, I was in this house
before you were born.

- Hello, Helen.
- Oh!

- May I come in?
- Oh, Mr. Merritt.

I didn't expect to see you.

You come and sit down.
We're in a terrible mess here.

Thanks.

- I've been waiting for our lawyer.
- Yes, came in his place, Helen.

Oh, I know, he... he told me that you had
to be bothered a lot about the estate.

Oh, that's all right.

But I felt that I should be
the one to, uh...

Well, explain the situation to you.

Situation?

I may as well tell you, Helen.
Your father left nothing.

After the estate is liquidated
you won't have a cent.

But... but that's impossible.

This house, his investments,
there must be something.

No, I've been carrying your father
for the past eight months.

You see, after the market turned,
he was in a pretty bad way.

A lot of unfortunate investments,
large loans from our company.

You mean... You mean
everything's gone?

Everything.

Well, what am I going to do
about these bills?

The estate will take care of those.

But after that...

Oh, Lord!

It's rather a shock.
Of course Frank can support me all right.

With what?

- Oh, Frank has an income.
- I think you're misinformed.

No, no, he told me that, you see,
his father is one of the richest...

One of the richest cattle owners
in this part of the country.

What's wrong with that?

Ask him.

I don't know what
there is to ask him but...

...I may as well tell him
what has happened.

- Oh, Frank.
- Yes?

Frank, uh... you know Mr. Merritt
is one of the executors.

He's come to tell me about the will.

Hm-hmm.

There isn't going to be anything.

What does that mean?

There won't be any money.

- No money? You're kidding.
- No.

Well, that's terrible. What a fine thing!
What a pleasant surprise!

Nothing!

Now, how do you think we
are going to live?

Well, with your money we can
get along.

My money.
My money?

Well, if you want to know,
I haven't got any.

My father is a miser and he wouldn't
give me a cent.

That's all right. We won't talk
about it now.

- We'll find some other way.
- Yes, the big talk.

What way, what way?

Now I begin to see a whole lot
of the things I didn't know before.

Passing yourself off as
a rich girl, huh?

- Frank, I can't believe that you...
- Married me for my money!

Someone tells you my father's rich,
but I haven't got a cent!

And that's what you get left!
What a marriage this turned out to be!

I was drunk, that's what I was
and so were you!

- Stop it!
- Well, I'm sober now.

And I'd rather have
my headache all alone.

Frank, where are you going?

Oh, I'm going far away from
you and your bills.

Far away to someone who
treats me better.

- Poor child, I...
- Oh, don't.

Don't, you'll make it worse
by pitying me.

You warned me, didn't you?

Oh, it's all right.
I'll live through it.

Helen, if there's anything that I...
- Oh, no, there's nothing.

I know exactly where I stand.

I'm broke and I've got to do
something about it.

Of course you'll be allowed to live here
in the house for a few weeks.

- I don't want to.
- Well, we'll talk that over in a day or so.

Goodbye, dear.

- Mr. Merritt.
- Yes, Helen?

- There is one thing you can do for me.
- What is it?

- I want a job.
- A job?

All right.

First course, veal parmesan.

Dubois scallops...
and breast of quail Lucullus.

Being and Englishman, he'll probably
want roast beef.

Potatoes au gratin...
Shut up, Susie!

And summer squash.
Oh, that reminds me.

Oggie hasn't paid his dues
at the Racket Club.

Make a note of that, will you?

- I sent the check yesterday.
- Oh, well that's good.

Now, when the newspapers
begin to call...

Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, just a moment.

It's Mrs. Stewartson, she wants to know
whether you'll dine with her on Thursday next.

She's a poisonous old cat and I'll be bored
to death, but I suppose I ought to.

Mrs. Merritt says she will be
delighted to come.

Oh, I didn't say anything
of the kind!

Yes?
Oh, no...

No, not officially, Mrs. Stewartson.

Goodbye.

She wanted to know whether de dinner for
Lord Danforth was an engagement dinner.

Well, Gussie's probably heard that we finance
Lord Danforth's oil wells in Turkestan.

You know, where the rubbers
come from.

And now she thinks he's marrying
Sylvia for money.

I suppose I may as well stay
in good terms with her...

...to keep her from telling everybody.
Not that there's any secret about it.

If there's oil in the ground, we had
a perfect right to buy it.

There's no intention of buying
a husband for Sylvia.

Lord Danforth's always been
crazy about Sylvia, always.

Now, let's get on with these invitations.

Oh, no!
No, no, no!

Listen.

Where is Mr. Marlow?

- Who wants to know?
- I do!

- We don't need any waiters.
- Do I look like a waiter, do I?

- Hey, who are you poking?
- Sit down!

You're a tough little mug,
ain't you?

- Sorry, Mr. D'Agnolli. How are you?
- Hello, Dan.

Some of the kids that work around here
get a little too big for their shoes.

- I didn't know you knew him, boss.
- Well, next time find out.

- That's all right.
- Come on in, Mr. D'Agnolli.

Come on.
Come on, girls, line up.

- Sit down.
- Thanks.

- Where have you been?
- Oh, all over.

- Broke?
- Yes, that's why I'm here.

- You remember you've seen my dancing...
- Oh, your dancing is divine, simply divine.

Well, I wouldn't put it that way.

You don't have to,
that's the way I put it.

I see. And I can sing very nice too,
and I thought you might, uh...

You still think you can give
me that job?

I guess I could.

Now, how much money would
you pay?

That's up to you.

I don't think I quite understand.

All right.
I'll make it clear to you.

Accept.

Reject.

Well, that's from Mrs. Whitley.
Shall I give any reason?

Mrs. Ogden Merritt doesn't have
to give reasons.

Good morning.

- Oh, hello, Helen.
- Hello.

How's your personal secretary
getting on? Hello, Mom.

Do you realize we've been waiting
for you?

Well, you'd be waiting still
if Lottie hadn't socked me...

...in the face with a wet towel.

I might as well have a Prussian
drill sergeant for a maid.

It's worth the sacrifice obliging.

You know how much money you'd have lost
if you hadn't taken up those stock rates?

Don't try to give me a lesson
in business. I've got the jitters.

Show her where to sign
the papers, Helen.

- Right here.
- Oh, get off my shin.

Bring them over here.

Lord, what a signature.
Well, it's my best, Mother.

- What time did you get in last night?
- About three, I guess.

- Where did you go?
- Club Albany.

That's where you used to be such
a hot shot, isn't it, Helen?

Oh, I used to go there.
Did you have a good time?

Rotten.

It's about time you started
getting some rest.

So you'll look like something
when Lord Danforth arrives.

Oh, he liked my looks in London.

That's all right.
It was the fog in London.

With this head of mine I don't think
I'll stay here...

...and listen to a discussion of my
shortcomings.

Oh, uh... Helen, bring me
that paper, will you?

Thank you.

- It's even better now, huh?
- It's a great job.

I should make a lot of money.

You will, if you play it right.

I'm gonna see about getting you
a room in the hotel upstairs.

It's connected with the club,
so it will be convenient.

You get busy and call up some
of those swell dames you know.

- That's right.
- Oh, Mr. D'Agnolli.

Just one other thing.

Don't try to put anything over on me.

- Was that right?
- That will do for the present.

- Miss Blake.
- Yes?

The chef is having trouble
with the caterers.

Well, I'll attend to him later.

And I want to set that new linen
with you too, Melinda.

- Yes, miss.
- Have the rest of the flowers come?

They're bringing them in
the back now.

I had never argued with them
about the price.

$3,100 seems a lot to pay
for roses.

I don't know. I always say if you're
going to do things in a big way,

- ...you have to spend money.
- A telegram for Mrs. Merritt, Miss Blake.

Thank you.

Are you almost in slumber now,
Mrs. Merritt?

Oooh, don't even talk.

- Is that you, Helen?
- Yes, Mrs. Merritt.

There's a telegram from Sylvia.

She's gone to Preston for the
baseball game...

...and she'll be about an hour late
for dinner.

There! That's sheer perversity.

That's what I get for insisting
that she be here on time.

- What are you going to do about dinner?
- Oh, dear!

We'll start at 9:15 at the latest,
Sylvia or no Sylvia.

But you'll be thirteen at table,
do you mind?

Of course I mind.

Well, at least some of those fool women
I've invited to dinner will be sure to mind.

Oh, dear. Well, there's only
one thing for us, Helen.

You'll have to take her place and just
slip away when she arrives.

Certainly, Mrs. Merritt.

Oh...

I suppose I may as well get that pounding
you wanted to give me, Helma.

No chance for a lump now.

Sylvia, do you love me?

- No.
- Oh, you don't?

No. But I'm crazy about you.

Who do you love?
That guy you're going to marry?

I should say not. I'm not even
crazy about him.

You... you want a title, is that it?

No, not that. He'll make a very
distinguished husband, title or no title.

I'm not in love with either of you.

But I'm crazy about you.

Lord Danforth.

Oh, my dear boy, I'm so glad
to see you.

How are you, Paul?

I'm late. I'm terribly apologetic.
I didn't realize about your traffic.

Oh, don't let that worry you.
Sylvia's even later.

Poor child, she's been so distressed.
I know she's frightfully upset...

...of not being able to get here.

Oh, you know the Marquise D'Anjac,
I believe.

But of course, dear cousin.
Good evening, Paul.

How are you, Ann?

I think you're sitting there, Lord
Danforth, right there at the other end.

Sit down. I put you next to me.

Now, I wonder who...

- Goodbye, baby.
- Goodbye, darling.

Oh, wait a minute.
Who won the game?

Here it is in the paper.

Princeton 8 to 6.

Eight to six, eight to six...
I got it. Goodbye, darling.

- I'll call you tomorrow.
- Goodbye, darling.

No, I'm just one of the hired hand.
Isn't that a shock?

I'm Helen Blake, Mrs. Merritt's
secretary.

Now how was I to know?

I always thought that secretaries
wore horn-rimmed glasses.

I have some. I have, really,
but they're awfully unbecoming.

- No, I think you should wear them.
- How should I take that?

As a compliment.

I'm... I'm confused.

You see, I have an idea I've seen
you before somewhere.

- You have!
- I have?

In London, three years ago.

I was there with my parents and you
were at a tea but I didn't meet you.

Lady Farnsworth had just gone to bring
you over and then you had to leave.

- Cricket or some funny thing.
- I remember.

And to think that if I hadn't had
to run away like that...

...perhaps we would have been
friends by now.

No, we'd have just met formally and then
I fear you would have forgotten me.

I fear not.

Oh, I've never seen such
a stupid girl.

Hurry up!

Get out of my way.

No, no, you and I get along
pretty well together.

I laugh at your jokes and you
laugh at mine.

I'll tell you something terribly funny.

I thought you were going to be
rather stiff and pompous.

Oh, there's not much chance
of that in my family.

Anybody caught trying to be pompous
is immediately kicked downstairs.

Oh, I think that's lovely.

- You do?
- Why, of course I do!

Now wait a minute.
We must go into this business.

There's an implication there
that needs investigating...

Hello, everybody!

- Hello, Paul.
- Hello, Sylvia.

- There she is.
- Thanks for being so patient, Paul.

Ladies change, Helen.

- Well, who won the game this afternoon?
- Princeton, 8 to 6.

It was perfectly wonderful. One of
the most divine plays I've ever seen.

But I'll tell you all about that
some other time.

- You're a bad girl.
- I don't want anybody to scold me now.

I've got to talk to Paul.

- Well have you missed me?
- With no end.

- How is your father?
- Hanging on.

- What do you think of our tall buildings?
- Marvelous.

- And the New York harbor?
- Marvelous.

- And New York?
- Marvelous.

And what do you think of
American women?

I can't find words to describe them.

- Hello.
- Oh, hello.

- I've been looking for you.
- You have? I'm sorry.

To continue our little talk about
being stiff and pompous.

Lord Danforth, do you mind going back
and joining the others?

Why?

Mrs. Merritt will find it very strange
my keeping you out here.

Oh, you're not keeping me.
No, they're perfectly all right.

Besides, I have some things
I want to tell you.

First, I think you're a perfectly
terrible social secretary.

It's lucky you're not my boss.

Because although you're a very
charming secretary,

there's nothing social about you.

At the most critical moment you disappear,
can't be found anywhere.

You really understand, don't you?

No, I don't. I'm trying desperately
hard to get it through my head.

Good heavens, man, you're the party.
I mustn't take up your time.

Then what are you here for?

To entertain undesirable men.

I'm undesirable, awfully.

I should be looked after.
Men shun me,

and young girls run from me
screaming for their mothers.

- Oh, hello!
- Hello.

Here you are.
Having a good time?

I've been trying to persuade Miss Blake
to come inside and brighten our lives.

- How about a little drinkie?
- Well, if that isn't a thought.

- Helen, will you attend to it?
- Certainly.

- And Helen.
- Yes?

Only two.

- Good evening, milord.
- Good evening, Brown.

- Is Miss Sylvia ready yet?
- Miss Sylvia is not home.

Not home? Oh...

- Did she leave any word?
- No, milord.

And Mr. and Mrs. Merritt have gone
to the Woodrows.

Oh... very well.
I'll wait in here.

Could I sell you a little insurance?

- Oh, this is fine.
- How do you do?

How do you do? You're the very
person I've been looking for.

I want to consult you on a very
fine point of etiquette.

What is it?

If a man calls three times
on a lady and she's never in,

hasn't he the perfect right to ask
another lady to help him out?

Oh, I should think so, why?

Because I want you to dine
with me this evening.

I'm dying from lack of food
and pleasant company.

Now, now, what else were you going
to do? Nothing important, was it?

- No, I was just going to the library.
- Oh, that can wait.

The library will always be there.

I'll write a note to Sylvia.

And please be nice and don't argue.

All right. I have to change my dress.
Do you mind waiting?

Waiting? I love it!

Where's my bracelet?

- Huh?
- My bracelet.

- I don't know. Where did you leave it?
- Right here.

- You must have left it at home.
- I told you I left it right here.

Well, you can see it isn't there.

Yes...

Yes, I can see it isn't there.

Well, anyway, I have my hat.

That's one thing you can't use.

And we have become friends,
haven't we, really?

I hope so.

You know, I was just thinking.

It isn't how long you know a person
that makes you understand him.

Oh, we've known each other
for quite a while.

Yes, counting three years ago
when we didn't meet that time.

I'm your friend.
I want you to be mine.

I always will be.

That's no end of comfort to me.

I mean that, darling.

Darling?

Yes.

I suppose so.

An English lord shouldn't call
an upper servant darling.

- Oh, it's always done in fairy tales.
- That's why they're called fairy tales.

- Once upon a time...
- Oh, are you going to tell me one?

- If you don't mind.
- I'd love it.

Once upon a time...

...there was an English lord and he fell
in love with a very rich American girl.

And the English lord had a terrific
number of uncles,

and cousins, and step-cousins,
all very poor,

whose one possession was a group
of undeveloped oil fields.

And the rich American girl's father...

...put fifty million dollars into
those oil fields.

And the uncles and cousins scraped
together their last pennies...

...and bought the stock and it went up.

And there was great rejoicing
throughout the land.

- And they all lived happily ever after.
- No.

No.

They became very miserable.

One of them did.

I'm sorry.

What he'd thought was love passed...
and left behind...

...indifference. But it was too late.

He and his family had accepted favors
which made the obligations unbreakable.

And then, as they say in the books,

he met the one girl.

Did he?

And he knew that with her
everything would have been different.

- No... no, it wouldn't have.
- It would.

I know it would.

I feel it would.

Yes, I feel it would too.

- Don't you think we'd better go home?
- No.

No, let's go somewhere else.
Let's go and dance.

Just this one night together.

You can't deny me that.

- Oh, I can't deny myself that, I guess.
- Well, thank you.

But let's get back where
we started and...

...be friends.

We understand each other.
That's beautiful.

I'm glad we do.

And that's the end of it.

This is our first evening alone
together...

...and our last too.

We mustn't spoil it, must we?

No, my dear.

Promise?

I promise.

Buy one, mister.
It's only $25.

Well, folks, that fabulous man
is going to sing for us again.

Isn't that the goodies?
Now sit down and keep quiet.

I don't want to catch anyone
making noise during this number.

Naughty, naughty.
Play 'em, Pancho.

# El amor mio se muere #
# Ay, ay, ay! #

# E se me muere de frio #

# El amor mio se... #

# ...muere, ay, ay, ay #

# E se me muere de frio #

# Porque en tu pecho de piedra #

# Tu no quieres darle abrigo #

# Porque en tu pecho de... #

# Piedra, ay, ay, ay #

# Tu no quieres darle abrigo #

# Ay, ay, ay #

# Ay, ay, ay #

Uh, spotlight...
Oh, thank you, Eddie.

Another big tune in half an hour, folks.
Until then the floor is yours.

Do you feel like dancing?

Not just now.

There's something wrong, what is it?

We're friends, you know.

My past just came up
and hit me in the face.

Your past. You haven't one.

Oh, I have a miserable one.

But let's not talk about that now.

All right, we'll talk about
something else.

Let's talk about that gigolo.

Don't you recognize the type?

No.

Well, you're always liable
to find them in places like this.

- What do you mean.
- Oh, it's quite simple.

They make themselves attractive
to elderly, lonesome women.

They dance with them, and in a short time
a necklace or a bracelet is missing

Helen,

do you mind if I talk about us
just once more?

Oh, goodness no, what good
does it do?

- There might be... some way.
- Oh, no.

You don't want to hurt me, do you?

No.

- I don't want to hurt you.
- Then please...

But I tell you, I did have them
when I came in.

Now, now, now, don't get excited.

We'll have the master of ceremonies
announce it for you.

- Roger.
- Okay.

- If it's in here, you'll get it back.
- I hope so.

Ladies and gentlemen, a diamond
necklace has been lost...

The finder will please return it
to Mr. Dan Marlow.

Well I don't see anything funny
about that.

Didn't I tell you?
It's the singer!

The one I was telling you about.

Yes, I know.

That's my husband.

- Your husband?
- Yes.

Well... the party seems to be over.

Cinderella's coach has come.

Let's go home.

Who's there?

Bailey.

- What do you want?
- The chief wants to see you.

- Say, Frank.
- Yes?

If anything happens to you,
can I have your watch?

# Just a gigolo, #
# Everywhere I go #

# Just a gigolo... #

- Do you want me?
- Yeah.

Sit down.

You've been playing the races
a lot, haven't you?

Huh, me? What do you know
about it?

I've been wondering where
it all went to.

What do you mean?

These letters are from women that
have lost jewelry in my place.

I haven't seen half of it.

How can that be?

I've turned in everything.
Boss, I wouldn't...

Now listen, you cheat!

Don't you lie to me or they'll find you
floating in the East River!

We want all of it, see?

Now you dig up the twelve grand
you owe us this afternoon.

I'll give you till 4 o'clock,
and not one minute later.

Do you understand?

All right.
On your way.

What do you want?

I want to talk to you.

I've told you I was through with you.

Yes, but I'm not through with you.

I can't get you any more money.
My father won't give it to me.

I'll never bother you again.
Honest I won't.

But I've got...
I've got to have this time.

Don't do anything foolish!
You don't want anybody in here.

I could tell plenty.

- Now listen. I've got to have $12.000.
- I can't get it, I...

And if you don't get it, I'll call up
your father...

...and your Englishman,
and maybe they'll pay for it.

And tell them what a nice, sweet
bride you are.

- Do you understand?
- But Frank...

I'll give you just one hour to bring
that money up to my room.

Just one hour.

Who is it?

What do you want?

- You get out of here!
- What was Frank doing here?

You'd better mind your own
business, Helen Blake.

Is he the man you've been seeing?

Is he?

Yes.

Helen, I didn't know you cared.
I didn't have any...

I don't care!

- He wants money, is that it?
- Yes.

- Listen, Helen, you could help me.
- I could?

I know we quarrel a little, but we're
awfully good friends, really.

Oh, yes, aren't we?

You don't want to see my mother
and father disgraced, do you?

No, I don't, but I'd like awfully well
to see you disgraced.

If I don't bring $12.000 to his room
at the Hotel Albany, he'll make a scandal.

- He'll phone the papers.
- You're not thinking of doing it, are you?

I... I don't know what to do.

But listen, if you give him anything, he'll
go on bleeding you for the rest of your life.

Why don't you talk to him, Helen?
He's afraid of you.

Why don't you go and talk to him?
Oh, you could. You could make him do...

Stop it!

I don't know why I'm in
this room at all.

You got yourself in this mess,
why should I care?

You've been rotten to me, Sylvia,
you know you have.

You're getting the results of your
selfishness now and you're crying for help.

Well, let them stop the wedding.

If you want to know the truth,
I love Paul.

And I'd hate to see him
married to you.

# Don't know what to call him #
# But he's mighty like a rose #

Oh, um, Helen.

- Have you got the chairs all set?
- Yes, everything's ready, Mrs. Merritt.

Oh, that's good.

Oh, my dear girl,

you don't know what it means
to be a mother.

No, of course you don't, naturally.

- Where are you going in such a hurry?
- Oh... I can't stop now, Paul.

- Can I do anything?
- No, thanks.

Do you know what Oggie and I are going
to do after this wedding is over?

Something we've wanted to do all
of our lives, just by ourselves.

A trip to the Far East.

It may mean a little romantic
something. I don't know...

Just get these men away
from their business.

And Helen, you will look after
Sylvia, won't you?

I...

Oh, I know, dear, you've been
through a lot, I realize that, but...

But you're the only one I can trust.

You won't fail me, will you?

No... no, I won't fail you.

Well, I knew this getting a daughter
married was an expensive proposition...

...but I'm giving more than
I bargained for.

Oh, what do you mean?

Well, I just had to give Sylvia a second
big check for the past week.

Ten thousand this time and she
actually wanted more.

The sweet child.

Frank, I couldn't get it all.
Father's suspicious.

- What?
- Listen, Frank.

There's $10,000. I'll give you
the rest after our marriage...

...if you promise never to
bother me again.

What good will that do?
I need it now.

Frank, I...

- You want to see me k*lled, is that it?
- Frank, you know that's not true.

- All right, I'll take that necklace.
- What? No, you can't. They'd miss it.

- Give it to me.
- I won't. I can't.

- I'll take it then.
- Frank!

And you'll wait here until
I come back.

- Frank, please.
- Come on!

Frank, stop!

Listen!

That's him.

Get out.

- Good afternoon, Bailey.
- Good afternoon.

Would you take Muriel out
for her walk?

Sure thing.

- What time is it?
- About a quarter after four.

Well, then bring her back
about four thirty.

Okay.

Get out of here, quick.

Mr. Lyons, paging Mr. Lyons.
Mr. Lyons.

What number is Mr. Frank
D'Agnolli's room?

- 802.
- May I go up?

They usually do.

Olga.

Olga's in 24, Miss Auchincloss.

Somebody spilled something
in front of the elevator door.

Tell her to wipe it up.

Olga!

Hello? Ron, is that you?
I want to speak to Miss Blake.

Out? What? Where could she go?
Where could she be?

- Who is it?
- It's Helen.

Ron, never mind.

- What's the matter?
- Close the door.

Oh!

Oh, Sylvia, what...?

Oh!

- Sylvia, you did it!
- No, I didn't.

Some... someone outside.
He came in and fell down.

I didn't... I merely saw him
close his eyes.

Oh, Sylvia, you...
You've got to get out of here quickly.

They'll be looking for you at home.

They're starting the rehearsal
any moment.

Why did I come here? Why didn't I do
as you told me?

Never mind about that now. Wait!
Sylvia, don't lose your head, that's all.

We've got to be careful.

- Miss Auchincloss.
- Yes?

Could you come here a minute?

Well, what is it now?

It looks like blood.

That's funny.

No, no, don't leave me.
Oh, don't leave me, I'll go crazy!

I don't care what happens,
just don't leave me!

Just don't leave me.

Sylvia, if I change clothes with you,

will you get me a dress
and come back right away?

- Yes, yes!
- Promise?

All right.

Hurry up.

Look, there's a couple of drops
more over here.

Maybe somebody hurt themselves.

Looks like they went in 802.

Anybody in there?

The key is in the inside.

I guess I'd better get the
house detective.

I'll get him.

Open up whoever's in there
before I bring it down.

Sylvia... Sylvia, listen.

The minute I open it, you slip out
through the other door...

...and join the crowd, do you understand?

All right, go on.

Oh!

Here.

All right, I'll open it.

Now, now, you people can't
come in here.

You'll have to keep out, that's all.

You can't anybody go in there.

Ring 73100.

Hello.

Yes, this is the house detective
at the Hotel Albany.

A man has just been shot.

I'm holding a woman here.

Okay.

Well, we gotta wait for the police,
so you might as well sit down.

Oh, I'm not the least
for particulars.

???

But I insist on the bride rehearsing.

I want everything to go
perfectly smoothly.

I don't want Sylvia to start
up the aisle...

...and suddenly find herself headed
in the wrong direction.

Oh, I know everything's going
to go beautifully, I'm sure of it.

Pardon me a moment.

I don't like the way you're
playing that.

I was just trying to cheer
everyone up.

Look here, are you going to take
this wedding seriously or aren't you?

Yes, ma'am, I think all weddings
should be taken seriously.

Well then, come out here and take
charge of things.

I want Everett to play.
Come on, Everett!

All right, if you're going to be satisfied
with second-class music.

Folks!

I've been asked to take charge
of this rehearsal...

...and see that everything
goes off properly.

Now, the bishops...
the bishop stands up there.

And we all form in a line in the
dining room and come...

But Charlie, the bride isn't
here yet.

Huh?

She went out on an errand
or something...

...and came back a while ago
and went upstairs to her room.

Will one of you boys with sex appeal...

...go up and tell the bride to come
down and rehearse?

Here they come.

- What's your name?
- Mary Smith.

- Are you married?
- I don't think that's any of your business.

- Oh, you don't.
- No.

Say, give us a break, Clancy.
Who is it? Is she pretty?

Now listen, I've got my orders.

You know, you reporters give me
a pain in the neck.

Listen, I ask the questions.

Here he is.
Bring him in.

How are you, boys?

Hello, Marlow. What do you know
about this?

They just told me my pal D'Agnolli
got bumped.

I'd certainly like to find the guy that...

Hey, why don't you hang up
a red light?

He was a great little guy,
that fellow.

Anything I can do to help you boys,
let me know.

Ever see this woman before?

- Yeah. That's his wife.
- What?

- His wife?
- Sure.

Get the Inspector.

- Her name is Helen Blake.
- Helen Blake? Ogden Merritt's secretary.

- Gangway!
- Get out of my way!

Stand aside, let me through!

- He's busy.
- But I tell you I got to see him now!

Do the Merritts know their secretary
is being held for m*rder?

- What are you talking about?
- Helen Blake.

- Helen Blake?
- Sure.

The cops are giving her
the third degree now.

They've got her in the Hotel Albany

Better get this going.
Come on, get up.

- Oh, go away!
- No! You'll only make things worse.

I've got to help you, darling,
you know that.

- Oh, please go away.
- Won't you tell me?

I'll tell nothing.

- Helen, that dress.
- What?

When did you put it on?

I don't know what you're
talking about.

- I'll very soon find out.
- Where are you going?

I'll get you out of this.

- Sylvia, I must speak to you at once.
- I don't want to talk to anyone.

I think first you might explain your
sudden disappearance, Paul.

Don't you know that Helen is
under arrest?

I don't see that that's any reason
for your running off without a word.

Of course it may be the thing to do among
certain people but to be sure, I don't know.

Sylvia,

how did Helen come
to be wearing your dress?

I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't like being questioned.

- I'm very nervous and upset.
- I'm sorry, but I have to question you.

- If Sylvia says she doesn't like to be questioned...
- It doesn't make any difference what Sylvia says.

I think it does, sir!

How did Helen come
to be wearing your dress?

She borrowed it, I suppose.
Leave me alone!

You had it on when you left here
this afternoon.

Why, you're crazy, I didn't...
You're crazy!

Paul, stop it. Can't you see
that Sylvia's in no condition...

Good heavens, man, don't you know that
an innocent girl's accused of m*rder?

Will you tell me what that has
to do with my daughter?

Yes, I will tell you, sir.

Helen Blake escaped going
to your daughter.

- She's taken the blame to cover her up.
- Why, it isn't true!

Sylvia!

The dress that Sylvia wore when
she hurried out of here this afternoon...

...is the one that is covered with blood.

- No, it isn't!
- You're the one that k*lled that man!

I didn't k*ll, I didn't k*ll him,
I didn't!

He just came in the room
and fell against me.

Sylvia! What are you saying?

What are you talking about,
my child?

Then Helen came.
Helen came and took your place.

Yes! But I didn't k*ll him!
I didn't, I didn't, I didn't!

- Helen took your place?
- Yes.

Oh, do something, Daddy.

Do something.

Do something... I should say.

I should say.

Get me the Police Commissioner.

There's supposed to be six of you boys.
Where's the other one?

There's only five of us work here, sir.

Don't lie to me, now come through
or I'll smack the life out of you.

Yes, I'll attend to it right away.

Yes, Mr. Commissioner.

Yes, sir.

- Where's Mitch?
- Now just hold everything, you boys.

Because he took my dog.

How do you know what time it was
when he took the dog?

- I just finished telling you.
- Hey, Mitch.

Yeah?

- I just heard from the Commissioner.
- What's the matter?

Ogden Merritt phoned the Commissioner.

Said his daughter was the one
who was in that room.

That Blake gal changed dresses
with her.

- Ogden Merritt's daughter, huh?
- Yeah.

Miss Marlow, where's...?
Oh, there you are.

- We got Bailey.
- You what Bailey?

He locked himself in a room
on the top floor.

- I seen the dog running down the hall.
- Come on, let's go.

- Open this door!
- I'll get it now.

Come on, now. open that door.

Thank you, my dear.
Thank you.

Sylvia has something to say
to you, Helen.

Go on.

Go on!

- I apologize.
- That's not enough.

Helen, I hope you'll forgive me.

Of course I'll forgive you.

- And when you...
- Oh, please don't make her say anymore,

- Please don't.
- All right.

Now go in there and start sending back
your wedding presents.

And then go upstairs and begin packing
for our trip to the Far East.

- But I don't like the Far East.
- I know you don't, that's why you're going.

I didn't realize when you promised
to be my friend that evening...

...how soon you'd have a chance
to prove that you meant it.

- Thanks.
- For what?

Oh, not for getting me free,
I wasn't thinking of that.

For your faith in me, for...

For helping me when I seemed
to least deserve it.

It never occurred to me for a moment
you could do anything wrong.

I just knew instinctively it wasn't
part of you.

I hope I didn't get you into
a lot of trouble.

No, my dear, they've been awfully
decent about it.

No revenge.
They really understand.

Everything's all right.

And that's why...

...if you still feel the same,

We might have a try at that
old foolishness called...

...living happily ever after.

Helen!
A little sudden.

But after all, it's plain, naturally.

I was telling Oggie just a moment ago.

While we're in the Far East,
I shouldn't be at all surprised.

Quite a lot is going on in the Far West.

Oh, I hope so.