(dramatic intro music)
(electric static buzzing)
(ominous music)
[Narrator] Bachelor's
degree, four years.
Masters, two years.
Doctorate, three to
six, with good behavior.
That's the starting point
if you want to be an
English professor.
After all that time spent,
what I really wanted
was the ultimate reward.
Tenure.
(choir music)
Tenure is much more than the joy
of teaching wide eyed students.
Tenure allows you freedom
to pursue any
intellectual endeavor.
Tenure means you never have
to worry about being judged
by self-righteous
douche bags ever again.
But the number one benefit,
once you're tenured,
it's near impossible
to lose your job.
Unless you do something
really f*cking stupid.
(door creaking open)
(door hitting ground)
Lie back down.
Classes don't start
for two weeks.
Lay down.
I have a meeting with the dean,
also meeting some of
my new colleagues.
Lovely. Don't get
into any fights.
No promises.
Whatcha working on?
I'm making a nose ring.
What?
Why?
Because I think they're cool.
(sipping drink)
Hmm.
Stop that.
You're gonna hurt yourself.
Why are you wearing a tie?
It's my first day of work.
I wanna make a good impression.
We'll hang out
later tonight. Okay?
I got to run.
(lips kissing )
Bye, Daddy.
I hope you get 10 years.
It's tenure.
Nevermind.
I'll see you later, Peanut.
(somber music)
It's not the future
Or death I fear
It's what we've grown
Our past might disappear
Somewhere behind blue skies
Great, black empty eyes
Are watching me
Watching you
As you walk away
As you walk away
(music fades)
No, he doesn't look
anything like my father.
Besides, I don't care
about that, he's charming.
Oh, I'm gonna call you back.
Yeah, I'll call you later. Bye.
Hi, you must be Dr. Bowden.
I'm Emily. Welcome
to Sayles College.
Thank you. It's a pleasure.
Likewise.
The dean will be with
you in just a moment
if you wanna take a seat.
Okay.
(sanitizer bottle pumping)
(hands rubbing together)
(leather seat softly squeaking)
(electric motors whirring)
(finger pressing switch)
(phone ringing)
Yes.
Okay. I'll send him right in.
Okay.
(phone clunking down)
The dean's ready for you
if you wanna head right in.
Thanks.
[Emily] Yep. Enjoy.
[Dean Crawley] Dr. Bowden.
Dean Crawley.
Please, have a seat.
Thank you.
So how can I help you?
Well, I think I'm
ready for my classes.
(laughing)
Are there any guidelines?
Documents for tenure?
Tenure.
The big 'T'.
(laughing) I get it.
And yes, there are.
Emily can email those to you.
Great.
I just want to be sure I am
doing all the right things.
Jim, I can call you Jim, yes?
Of course.
You should know. I'm
not a big fan of tenure.
I believe it's an
antiquated concept.
But my position,
it's a tenure track appointment.
Oh, it is.
It is. But my advice?
Don't focus so much on that.
Use your probationary time to,
well, just do good work.
Probation?
Do I get an ankle bracelet?
(laughing)
It's nothing to worry about.
Probation's a good thing.
Think of it as seven
years to write, research,
it's a gift of time.
Sure.
You see my issue is
with some professors,
they get tenure and they,
well they stop doing
much of anything.
Hell, some of them barely
teach their classes.
Yeah, I've seen some of
that, but that won't be me.
Oh, of course not.
But it's because of those folks
that you'll face a
fair bit of scrutiny.
Besides, there's no shortage
of English professors.
(laughing)
Oh, do you sh**t?
Me? No.
I've never even fired a g*n.
Hmm.
You play racketball?
No, but it sounds fun.
Uh huh.
So what are you
writing these days?
Actually, I'm writing a novel.
Fiction?
Hmm.
Is that bad?
Oh, of course not.
Anyway, in seven years,
you will submit a dossier.
Documenting your work
from this day forward,
at which time you will
defend your worth.
My worth?
Your worth, Jim.
Are you worthy?
(laughing)
Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse
Five is about?
Time travel.
Come on.
(chilled music)
Seems to me to be
A great many years
Since you disappeared
Is this a fleeting
Momentary meeting
I don't need
Time or reason
All life is illusion
(instrumental building)
(music ending)
(fingers tapping keyboard keys)
f*cking piece of sh*t.
Print the last f*cking page.
(paper rustling)
(printer printing)
(printer printing)
Ahhh.
(paper stack hitting desk)
Are you worthy, Jim?
Doubtful. I can't even
operate a f*cking printer.
Yeah. You might
as well quit now.
Ha, ha. Funny.
(paper rustling)
(paper rustling)
You get all these professors
evaluating other professors,
the knives come out.
You think they'll
ignore all that?
Allison, stop.
You're not the first
English professor
to come up for tenure.
Yeah. Remember Martin?
He came up last
year and was denied.
Martin was a tool.
Everyone hated him.
Yeah. Now he's a barista
paying off his student loans.
One latte at a time.
Can he make pictures
of birds in the foam?
I love it when they do that.
Knowing Martin. Probably
just pictures of himself.
[Allison] Ooh.
My life is in their hands.
Such melodrama.
What are you doing?
What's on your agenda
for today, Allison?
Thanks for asking, sweetheart.
I'm sorry.
What's your day like?
I got a new client.
Hmm. Really.
A sweet boy, Vincent.
Yeah. That's good.
It is.
(paper rustling)
Here for good luck.
(soft music)
(paper rustling)
(softly laughing)
[Jim] Mmm.
(lips kissing)
Mmm.
Uh.. Later?
Always later.
(lips kissing)
(lips kissing air)
Send my love to the committee.
(somber music)
(footsteps walking)
(car alarm disarming)
(door opening)
(door closing)
(engine revving)
(music continues)
(indistinct chattering)
[Amy] Dad.
Hey. Going to class?
Yep.
You really think they're
gonna read all that?
Hard to say.
And why are you
carrying it around?
I can't leave it in my car.
What if someone steals it?
I can't think of a
safer place than your car.
Oh. You're a college student.
You know you're all a
bunch of cars thieves.
True.
Got a sh**t today?
Yes. We are sh**ting
a scene from my film.
We? You mean you and Alex?
Yes
and other students from class.
You going to be parading
around naked again?
No.
I'm not acting this time.
I'm DP.
And that was
allegorical imagery.
I see.
And here I thought it
was gratuitous nudity.
Dad, it's not a big deal.
Maybe not to you.
That was three therapy
sessions for me.
Could be worse.
[Alex] Hey, Amy.
Here comes the p*rn now.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi, Dr. 'Bo-den'.
It's 'Bowden' Alex.
Hi... now this is where I part.
I'll see you later.
I'll be late.
See you, Dad.
Be safe.
I don't think your dad likes me.
He doesn't.
What?
Think you might wanna
help me carry any of this.
Really?
(soft music)
(phone ringing)
Jim Bowden.
[Emily] Dr. Bowden.
It's Emily, from
the Dean's office.
Hi Emily.
[Emily] The committee is
meeting today at nine thirty
and they still have not
received your materials.
Uh huh, I have them
all right here.
My class ends at nine thirty.
I'll see about ending a
little early to drop them off.
[Emily] Well, the
dean won't like that.
What? Ending class early or
arriving after nine thirty?
[Emily] Both.
I'll get there as soon as I can.
[Emily] Okay. See ya.
[Mia] Professor.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
You can't just
walk in like that.
Sorry. I was hoping to
catch you before class.
Class is starting now.
I know the paper is due today
and I was hoping to
get an extension.
What's your name again?
Mia.
Mia Pierce.
Okay. Mia Pierce.
Deadlines are deadlines?
We all have them.
I just need one day.
It wouldn't be fair
to the students
who hand theirs in on time.
Isn't there anything
that I can do?
Anything?
This is really heavy.
(door opening)
I'm standing right here.
Get over yourself.
[Jim Bowden] Good morning.
Francis.
Andrew.
(folder landing on lectern)
Why are you being like this?
Being like what?
Like this.
(clock ticking)
- That's it for today.
- (folder snapping shut)
Please leave your papers if
you have not yet uploaded them.
Dr. Bowden, do you have
time for a one on one chat?
Sorry, I'm in a rush.
Email me or
(papers rustling) something.
(footsteps marching)
(car alarm disarming)
(car door opening)
(car door closing)
(car door opening)
(heavy breathing)
(door closing) (keys jangling)
(engine starting)
(music blaring)
(music stopping)
(tires screeching)
(body hitting car) (groaning)
What the f*ck was that?
(engine revving)
(tires bumping over body)
(groaning)
What the f*ck was that?
(gear shifter shifting)
(handbrake wrenching)
(door opening)
Oh, God.
No.
No, no.
Derek?
(ominous music building)
Oh, f*ck me!
Oh, not now.
Derek, please wake up.
I haven't got time for this.
Someone, please help!
(phone beeping)
(phone ringing)
Dean Crawley. I'm on my
way to you right now.
[Dean Crawley] What is your ETA?
I'll be there in
about 10 minutes.
[Dean Crawley] The
committee is here.
Waiting.
Yeah. Okay.
I'll see you soon.
(ominous music building)
(trunk door opening)
(body dragging on floor)
(Jim groaning)
Get... up...
(Jim groaning) Oh, f*ck.
(door opening)
(heavy breathing)
(Jim groaning) (heavy breathing)
(heavier groaning)
(panting)
(ominous music continues)
(door closing)
Hang in there, Derek.
I'm gonna get you
to the hospital.
(trunk closing)
Just one quick stop.
(engine revving)
(Derek groaning)
What were you doing behind me.
Derek?
sh*t.
He'll be okay.
(tires skidding)
(door opening/closing)
(door opening/closing)
(hands lifting box)
(Jim groaning)
(footsteps running)
Hold that.
Hold that please.
Here it is.
Erm, you can take this
right up to the eighth
floor conference room.
Can I just leave it here?
I'm sort of in a hurry.
Mm. I can't leave my desk.
So unfortunately, no.
Okay.
Sure.
(heavy breathing)
(button clicking)
(elevator beeping)
(door sliding open)
Hi, can you push eight for me?
(feet scurrying)
Jesus.
[Elevator Speaker] Second floor.
Third floor.
f*ck.
(elevator beeping)
(doors sliding open)
They sent a fax.
Can you believe that?
(laughing) What's a fax?
Right?
Hold the door, Maggie's coming.
[Maggie] Oh, thanks.
Oh, damn it.
I meant to push six, I'm sorry.
- (laughing)
- It's OK.
(door sliding closed)
[Elevator Speaker] Fourth floor.
(doors sliding open)
Excuse me.
(footsteps walking away)
(doors sliding closed)
[Elevator Speaker] Fifth floor.
(doors sliding open)
(doors sliding closed)
Sixth floor.
(doors sliding open)
Have a good day.
(heavy breathing)
Hang in there, Derek.
(doors sliding closed)
(elevator sounds)
[Elevator Speaker] Eighth floor.
(doors sliding open)
(footsteps running)
(dramatic music)
(door opening)
I am so sorry for the delay.
(box landing on table)
I just got out of class.
Here it is.
Do you know the
meaning of a deadline?
I most certainly do.
And today is the deadline.
Actually, it was yesterday
and we gave you an extension
for today at 9:30 AM.
It's 9:45.
I understand, but my
class didn't end until 9:30.
I ran over... here...
as quick as I could.
It's fine.
But we have to get started
with the review, so...
Oh, okay.
Sure.
Any idea when I'll hear?
It'll be a few months.
Months?
Of course.
Sure.
Months. (Laughing)
Jim, we understand how
distressing this can be.
But please know we do
not take this lightly.
Now, if you will
excuse us.
Of course.
Sure.
I appreciate all
that you're doing
for all of us at the college.
The students, the faculty.
I'll leave you to it.
(Nervously laughing)
(door opening)
(sighing)
Derek.
(dramatic music)
(heavy breathing)
(footsteps running)
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
(car door opening/closing)
(engine revving)
(tires screeching)
(trunk door opening)
Derek.
Oh, God.
(heavy breathing)
f*ck me!!
Why today, of all days?
I don't deserve this!
I'm a published
f*cking novelist! Ow!
(fist punching brick wall)
(screaming)
Ow!
(trunk door closing)
(door closing)
(ominous music)
I just k*lled a person.
I k*lled, Derek.
I'm a m*rder*r.
(torch tapping on glass)
You can't park here.
(electric window going down)
You can't park here.
I just dropped off
my tenure dossier.
I don't know what that means.
Move your vehicle.
Sorry.
(electric window going up)
(ominous music)
(car turn signal clicking)
What, you have to
think about it?
Ahhhhh...
What's the point?
You're dead.
Are you sure?
Yes... I'm pretty sure.
So, you're not even
going to try to save me?
It's too late.
I'm sorry.
What a d*ck.
You have no idea
what sort of pressure
I've been going through.
(engine revving)
(quiet dramatic music)
(door opening) (keys jangling)
(door closing)
(car alarm activating/beeping)
(footsteps running)
Ah, sh*t.
(shovels clanging together)
(shovels clanging together)
Dr. Bowden?
Oh,
hey.
It's Alex.
Yes, I know who you are, Alex.
Buying a shovel?
Yes, I am.
A little gardening.
Cool.
It's weird seeing you
at a hardware store.
Why is that?
I don't know. I guess
I just didn't expect it.
Uhh. I'm buying these light
bulbs for the sh**t.
You know, they say these
LED ones last a lot longer
than these halogen ones,
but I don't know.
They seem to die just as
quick as the other ones.
These LED ones do
cost a lot more,
but they don't get as hot.
So, which ones do you use?
I think the LED ones.
Should have known. (Laughing)
Well, I should...
Oh yeah, yeah.
No. Yeah.
I got to get these
back to Amy anyway.
So,
(footsteps stumbling) see ya.
(shovels clanging together)
(shovel landing on countertop)
- (scanner beeping)
- $33.51.
You know what, let me pay cash.
[Cashier] Whatever.
This is a nice shovel.
It's a fiberglass handle.
It's basically indestructible.
It's a good price too.
I'll cherish it.
(metal clanging)
(change jingling/rustling)
Can I get a bag?
It's a shovel.
Have a nice day.
(footsteps marching)
(ominous music)
f*cking, Alex.
[Lisa] You are such a good boy.
Yes, you are, Vincent.
You are such a good boy.
(baby talk)
He is good.
Most dogs don't sit
still for this long.
Yes. He is a special
boy, aren't you?
You are so special and so smart.
(lips kissing) Mm, yes you are.
Aww.
I would've thought your studio
space would've been bigger.
I make do.
Oh, no. I love what
you've done with it.
Yeah, it's great.
You know I'm a
realtor, don't you?
I didn't.
Well, I am.
And a new listing just
came on the market.
Lots more light.
This is a rental, right?
Yes.
Have you ever
thought about owning?
We have, but we're
waiting to see what happens
with my husband's tenure.
[Lisa] Oh, he's a professor?
- He is.
- Oh.
English literature.
That is so nice for him.
A lot of my clients work there.
So many pretty college
girls romping around.
I'm sure he loves it there.
My daughter goes
there... for her education,
not to romp around.
Oh, no, no. I didn't
mean anything by it.
I just meant it's so nice
to have all those
young people in town.
And it's co-ed.
There are boys there too.
[Lisa] Yes, I know.
I think I got what I needed.
(ominous music)
(ominous music building)
(engine running)
(tires rolling on snow)
(engine turning off)
[Jim] Oh.
Oh God.
Oh God.
(birds chirping)
Oh...
Oh God.
(feet dragging on ground)
(heavy breathing)
Job security.
Academic freedom.
A life of the mind.
Oh, f*ck he's heavy.
(heavy breathing)
(groaning)
You know,
this is called
involuntary manslaughter.
Looking at 12 years minimum.
10, for good behavior.
I've worked too hard
to forfeit my career.
My family.
Your family.
What about my family?
What about my life?
You're such a c**t.
(shovel hitting hard ground)
Ahhh! Mother fucker!
(shovel slicing through ground)
(soil dropping on ground)
(shovel digging into soil)
(dirt falling to the ground)
(shovel hitting hard ground)
(shovel handle snapping)
(groaning)
(screaming)
(heavy breathing)
(grunting)
(handle hitting ground)
(groaning)
(shovel digging into soil)
(soil landing on ground)
(groaning)
(shovel hitting ground)
(grunting)
(body dragging on soil)
(grunting)
(body falling onto ground)
(grunting)
(heavy breathing)
(metal shovel dinging on ground)
(shovel digging soil)
(soil landing on body)
(rucksack landing in grave)
(shovel scraping up soil)
(shovel dropping in grave)
Derek,
I am truly sorry.
You didn't deserve this.
Even if you were
kind of irritating.
(footsteps walking/rustling)
(heavy breathing)
sh*t.
(foot dragging on snow)
(heavy breathing)
Oh f*ck.
(shovel landing in trunk)
(trunk door closing)
(door opening/closing)
(ominous music)
[Store Announcer] Attention
Last Chance shoppers.
Today is senior Tuesday.
That means 50% off
all pink, white, blue
and yellow ticketed items
for anyone 55 and older.
So tell your friends,
grandparents,
or anyone who's
like... you know, old.
Thank you for shopping at
Last Chance donation center.
Where the customer is
always our first priority.
(trash bag rustling)
(door opening)
(ominous music building)
(door closing)
[Allison] Congratulations.
For what?
For handing in your dossier.
Dossier?
What are you, a secret agent?
[Allison] That's
what they call it.
Of course they do.
(Jim gulping drink)
(gulping continuing)
(heavy sigh)
Well, you can relax now.
It's out of your hands.
Man, you're ripe.
Uhh... yeah.
(water running)
(Jim gulping drink)
(heavy sigh)
Where did you get that shirt?
Oh, this?
I borrowed it.
I spilled coffee all over mine.
I'm going to take a shower.
Borrowed?
From who, Jimmy Buffet?
I think dad is high.
He's freaking out about tenure.
[Amy] You should tell him
about that house
you want to buy.
[Allison] I'm just looking.
[Amy] Sure. Who would
want to leave this palace?
(ominous music)
(door closing)
(sighing) (deep breathing)
(ominous music)
(water running)
(feet slipping /
body hitting floor)
[Jim] f*ck!!
Maybe he is high.
(car engine revving)
(car engine turning off)
(handbrake wrenching)
(socket wrench ratcheting)
[Jim] Hi.
Do you work here?
Uh... what do you think?
Uh yeah. I'm looking for
some wheels for my car.
That car?
[Jim] Yes.
It looks like it
already has wheels.
I just want some
backups, just in case.
Have a look around.
Well, what about those wheels?
- (laughing)
- Those wheels
will not fit your car.
Well, can you help me?
(sighing) (metal clanging)
Any idea where I should look?
Come back when you
found what you want
and we will set it up.
(socket wrench ratcheting)
Yeah.
Okay.
(light music)
(grunting)
(groaning)
(head hitting car)
Ow.
f*ck.
(wheel rolling on ground)
(metal clanging)
How much do I owe you?
50 bucks.
(cash rustling)
It's been a pleasure.
Uh huh.
f*cking douche bag.
(finger tapping keyboard key)
(phone ringing)
This is Jim Bowden.
Jim, it's Dean Crawley.
Can you come by my office?
Oh, d*ck, hey.
[Dean Crawley]
It's Dean Crawley.
What?
My name? It's D-Nevermind.
Can you come by my office.
When?
[Dean Crawley] Uh, 11 o'clock.
I'm kind of busy.
Wait, is it about tenure?
[Dean Crawley] What? No.
I got a call from the mother
of one of your students.
Mother. Who's mother?
[Dean Crawley] I'd prefer
to talk about it in person.
(sigh) I hate talking to
mothers. Is she gonna be there?
What?
No.
Good. Nag, nag, nag.
Am I right?
What is wrong with you?
Oh, d*ck.
I really don't
want to go into it.
Look, whatever.
Just come by my
office at 11 o'clock.
Mother, 11 o'clock. Got it.
(phone hanging up)
(door opening)
(laughing)
[Emily] Now beg for
me you dirty bitch.
That's right,
you get in your corner.
You sit there. You think
about what you've done.
Hello?
[Emily] I think someone's
coming. (Indistinct)
(door opening)
(footsteps walking)
Dr. Bowden?
The dean is just
finishing up a phone call.
Be with you in just a moment.
You can have a
seat, if you want.
Sure.
[Emily]. Mmm hmm.
I'm early.
Indeed.
(sigh)
(sign sliding on desk)
(sanitizer bottle
falling on desk)
(electric table
adjusting/whirring)
(phone ringing)
Yes?
Yes.
Yes.
I think so.
Okay.
Okay.
The Dean will see you now.
You can go right in.
(footsteps walking away)
(door opening)
Have a seat.
I received a call from
the mother of Mia Pierce.
Mia. She's in my Tuesday,
Thursday English lit class.
[Dean Crawley] She is.
She wears mini skirts in winter.
Her mother claims
you've been having
a relationship
with her daughter.
What?
No. That is not happening.
She went on to say that when
Mia tried to break it off,
you suggested how that
might impact her grade.
That's a lie.
She cornered me and was
asking for an extension.
I told her no.
So you're not having
a relationship with her?
Absolutely not.
I really hate these
sort of things, Jim.
Mia has done practically
zero work in my class.
Not to mention she's
a manipulative little
(deep breathing)
Dean Crawley, I'm a married man.
(chortles)
The tenure committee found this
mixed in with your materials.
My wife gave that to me.
Between the Pierce
accusation and that
(laughing) you've put me
in an uncomfortable position.
Oh, you're uncomfortable?
Well, I'm furious!
Call my wife!
She'll tell you she drew that.
I'd like to hang on to that.
Okay. Emily has a copy I'm sure.
Emily knows about this?
It's her job to know everything.
She sure has a lot
of responsibilities.
Does the tenure committee
know about Mia's accusation?
I'm not at liberty to say.
You don't believe it, do you?
It doesn't matter what
I believe. It looks bad.
Huh.
There's a lot of
that going around.
What do you mean?
Things looking bad.
I mean, what you do with
your staff is your business.
I'm not one to judge.
If you have something
to say, say it.
I'm just saying, maybe
we can back each other up.
Mia accuses me...
You and Emily.
All right.
This meeting's over.
I'm just saying maybe
we can be allies
when perceptions
are misconstrued.
Leave - d*ck.
Think this through. Your
wife doesn't need to know.
Get out.
All right. I'm going.
Mia's lying.
(door opening)
(footsteps marching)
My wife drew that picture.
We also have a healthy sex life.
(door opening hard)
[Allison] Oh my gosh.
[Lisa] Yeah.
[Allison] Wow.
(soft music)
[Lisa] Here we go.
[Allison] Thank you.
[Lisa] You're welcome.
Wow.
Look at this.
[Lisa] Yeah.
Oh.
I'd like to have my
husband come see it.
Oh, of course.
All this woodwork is original.
[Allison] Is it?
- Yes. Isn't that amazing?
- It is.
They don't make them
like this anymore.
Seriously.
I really didn't imagine
it'd be this nice.
Well, give him a call.
Have him come take a look.
[Allison] I'll see if he's free.
(phone ringing)
Hey.
[Allison] I found it.
Found what?
Our new home.
[Jim] What?
It's perfect. Open, bright.
Lots of space. I want
you to come see it.
My career is over, Allison.
[Allison] What?
The dean.
He said a student accused
me of some misconduct,
which is not true.
But then I said some things.
It's probably not
as bad as you think.
No, no,
I made it personal.
I'm a f*cking
idiot. I'm finished.
It's over.
[Allison] Just relax.
Come see this house and
get your mind off it.
We can figure it out together.
House? No, I can't see a house.
I have to talk some
sense into him.
- I got to go.
- Wait. Take a breath.
Jim? (Phone beeping)
(door opening hard)
[Emily] Dr. Bowden, you
can't just barge in here.
You're the dean.
I'm a member of your faculty
who has been falsely accused.
Why are you not backing me up?
You need to leave right now.
I would never get
involved with a student.
Not at this point in my career.
You should be on my side.
Look,
I'm sorry about my
insinuations, but listen...
No, no, you listen.
Sometimes an institution
is going one way
and a faculty member
is going another.
What the f*ck are
you talking about?
You're either on the
train or you're not.
What train?
I have done everything
expected of me.
I'm a good teacher.
I'm a published novelist.
I even won an award.
Here we go with the book again.
Ah hah... AHHHH!
There it is.
Now I see.
You don't like my book.
This has nothing to
do with your book.
Too many 'fucks'?
Bowden, enough.
What? You know better
than the reviewers.
You're an art critic now?
(laughing)
Are these your photos?
Yes. I took them.
Well, they suck.
(laughing)
All I see are pictures of dirt.
Dirt is worthy of
hanging on your walls,
but years of hard
work and commitment,
that you can dismiss with
one false accusation.
Okay, Emily, call security.
If I had written about
your insipid dirt photos,
would that make me
more 'tenureable'?
The artist reflects
on the human condition
as we will all one day
return to the earth.
Would that have sealed the deal?
This is not over.
Oh, it's over.
What are you doing?
Bowden, that's
mine. Get back here.
Bowden.
Give me back my photo!
Bowden?
f*ck him and his
f*cking dirt photos.
(bodies colliding)
(ominous music)
Ever write a novel?
f*cking assh*le.
[Detective Wilson] Dr. Bowden.
Yes.
I'm Detective Wilson.
Detective?
Can we talk?
I've got a class soon.
Oh, it won't take
but a few minutes.
Okay.
(door opening)
What do you think of this?
I don't have any feelings
one way or another.
Right?
It's crap.
Would you hang
this on your wall?
Probably not.
You've got a student
in one of your classes.
A Derek Mahoney.
Erm, yes.
Derrick.
He's my student.
Well, he's been
reported missing.
And the last time he was
seen was in your class.
Missing? That's disconcerting.
Outside of my classes I
don't often see my students.
Well, do you recall
when you saw him last?
A few days ago, maybe?
I don't take attendance.
Okay. Can you tell
me anything about him?
Who his friends are?
He has a girlfriend called Mia.
Mia Pierce.
How do you know
she's his girlfriend?
- I don't know. Body language.
- Together outside of class.
I thought you just said that
you don't see your students
outside of class.
I meant off campus.
I don't see them off campus.
I guess I've seen them
walking around together
on campus here.
You should talk to Mia.
Yeah, we have.
She was the one that told us
that he was in your class.
Well, I can tell you,
he is not committed
to English lit.
A 'C' student at best.
There is nothing here.
It's vacuous. (Softly laughing)
Is that one of your
students' or something?
Would you believe
it's the deans?
He gave it to me hoping
I'd write a critique.
But I gotta say, I'm at a loss.
It's just dirt.
Derek.
Uh, yeah.
I wish I had something
else for you.
I do hope he's okay.
Well if you see him around
or if you think of anything.
Can you give me a call?
Of course.
(chair sliding on floor)
(door opening)
It's not art.
(pen tapping on note book)
That conniving little bitch.
What's her name?
Mia Pierce.
Mia.
It's not true, is it?
Seriously, you're
asking me that?
It's just that I
was your student,
granted a grad student.
No, it's not true.
(door creaking open)
f*cking Alex.
Maybe she misinterpreted
something you said.
She wanted an
extension on a paper.
I didn't say anything.
Who does that?
Mia Pierce apparently.
And you drew that picture.
I did.
My career is over.
Apologize. And return
his dirt thingy.
Yeah. There's no point.
I'm f*cked.
Hi.
What's shaking?
Dad's tenure stressing again.
Oh geez. Do you
wanna go out to eat?
Hey, don't treat me
like I'm a problem child.
I'm being blackballed.
Do you know Mia Pierce?
No. Why?
She's accusing dad
of sexual misconduct.
No one used those words.
Oh, my God. Did you?
Why does everyone
keep asking me that?
No.
[Amy] Well, what
are you gonna do?
We'll probably
have to move again.
Can we move back to New York?
You know, that
could work for me.
What? I thought
you liked it here?
It was always about
your career, not mine.
Yeah. But you agreed
it was a good idea.
At the time.
It turns out taking pictures
of pets is not my end-all.
Everything I am doing, I
am doing for you and for Amy.
(laughing) If you say so.
That's not fair.
I know Mia.
(snickering)
Do tell.
Ummm.
I guess I kind of,
sort of, used to see her.
Oh, and why didn't
I know about this?
I mean, it was before you
and I were even together.
Is she pretty?
Why should that matter?
Sure. I guess.
She's a terrible
person. Wouldn't you say?
I mean, I don't know about that.
But she is a bit
self-absorbed though.
What we need is a lawyer.
So how did you two meet?
At one of your
stupid frat parties?
No, it was an audition.
[Amy] So that's how
your auditions go.
What do you mean?
[Amy] What do you mean?
What sort of lawyer deals
with sexual harassment?
It's not sexual harassment.
It's called conflict
of interest.
And I didn't do that either.
Hey, did Amy tell
you that our film
was going to be screening
at the Sayles film festival?
That's wonderful.
A new one? Or the one
featuring Amy's boobs?
Here we go.
I mean, that's just one sh*t.
It's hardly the
film's substance.
(laughing) Substance.
I like that film.
Mm.
Now even more people get
to see our daughters tits.
They are nice tits.
You know, maybe I should
give that film another look.
Okay, now you're
starting to creep me out.
What? I'll be objective.
I will.
I'll fast forward that part.
You can't fast forward.
It's important to the film.
Well, maybe I was
being too harsh.
Boobs and all.
Will you stop saying boobs?
Maybe I can use it in my class
for our module on short fiction.
Wouldn't it need a
story for your class?
Hmm. Good point.
Hey, there's a story.
No, there isn't.
It's a concept at best.
Agreed.
Can you send me the link?
(clicking fingers)
Right on.
(laptop closing)
- I found some numbers.
- I'll call in the morning.
(soft music)
Your eyes shine bright
like a star in the sky.
(groaning)
You... are a strong, powerful,
woman of substance.
And you are a small,
meaningless man.
(screaming)
Oh God.
[Alex] You are a
strong, powerful woman.
[Jim] Jesus.
[Amy] First we are born,
then we are entered
into the system.
Stop. (Music stopping)
(finger tapping keyboard)
(music playing in reverse)
(music stopping)
Screenshot...
(camera shutter)
Still.
(fingers typing on keys)
(computer mouse clicking)
(fingers typing on keys)
Stress.
(message sending tone)
(receiving message tone)
(sighing) f*cking Emily.
(fingers typing on keys)
(message sending tone)
(receiving message tone)
I ran him over.
(fingers typing on keys)
(message sending tone)
(receiving message tone)
Adversarial relationship?
f*ck you. (Laptop closing)
(ominous music)
I've been thinking a
lot about commitment.
(echoing footsteps)
Commitment to family, school,
to your employer.
To your fellow human.
To a career.
You're young, hopeful.
Your future awaits.
But at some point soon
you are going to
commit to a path.
And when you get far
enough down that path,
it will be impossible to
choose a different path
because that will
now be who you are.
A doctor,
a lawyer,
a f*cking dean.
Yes?
Is this gonna be on the test?
You know what?
Never mind.
(laughing)
Go about your day.
(papers rustling)
(rucksacks zipping closed)
(chairs sliding on floor)
(footsteps walking away)
Could I speak to you?
(door latch closing)
You told your mother that we
were having a relationship?
What are you talking about?
And that I was holding
your grade over you.
Why would you do that?
Would it have k*lled you
to give me an extension?
It's just a dumb English class.
Do you understand the
impact of your accusation?
My job and my family.
(breathing deeply)
Mia,
I'm married.
How do you think that
went over at my house?
Not my problem. Is it?
Wow, you're incorrigible.
I don't know what that means,
but I'm guessing it's not good.
No, it's not good.
(ominous music)
I should have given
you an extension.
You should have.
So what's our next move?
Look, I'll give you
an A in the class.
You don't even
have to come back.
Just tell the truth.
I'll think about it.
Toodles.
(ominous music continues)
Gotcha
(indistinct chattering)
Okay. Okay, yeah.
Yeah, do it.
Do it, do it... do it.
(camera shuttering)
Oh, for f*ck's sake.
(sighing)
Plan B.
(car engine starting) (gasping)
(car door opening)
(footsteps running)
(ominous music)
(door lock beeping)
(door opening)
(door closing)
(door opening)
(ominous music continues)
(chair wheels rolling)
(fingers typing on keyboard)
Sayles
(fingers typing on keyboard)
g*ns.
Emily.
Ah hah.
assh*le.
(thumb-drive sliding
into computer)
(ominous music)
(fingers typing
on keyboard keys)
(indistinct muttering)
Friend?
Dear Amy,
I loved
your film.
Stunning.
(fingers typing on keyboard)
This one.
Keep up
the good
work.
(computer mouse clicking)
(heavy sigh)
Please, forgive me.
(message 'sending' tone)
Adversaries.
(incoming message tone)
(computer mouse clicking)
What the actual f*cking f*ck?
(phone ringing)
(phone ringing)
Ah, that was fast.
Hi, honey. What's up?
Dad?, I'm freaking out.
I don't know what to do.
It's, (stuttering)
I'm freaking out.
It's
Amy. Amy, calm down.
I can't understand you.
I got an email
from Dean Crawley.
One of those newsletter things?
Not a newsletter thing.
[Jim] Well, what then?
He said a bunch of creepy sh*t
and attached a picture of
me topless from Alex's film.
You're f*cking
kidding me. No way.
Yes way.
I don't know what to do.
f*cking Alex.
Alex is not the problem here.
Okay.
Forward me the email.
I'll handle it.
Well, are you going
to show it to people?
All of a sudden
you're feeling shy?
[Amy] Dad.
Okay. Okay.
Just email it.
I'll be tactful.
Promise?
- (sighing)
- I promise.
Okay. I'm sending it now.
Will you let me know
what you're going to do?
Well, we're getting a lawyer.
That's what we're going to do.
Okay. Take care.
I'll see you soon. Okay.
Love you.
(ominous music building)
(Echoing footsteps)
(footsteps approaching)
[Mia] Dr. Bowden.
Oh f*ck.
Now what?
Can I talk to you for a minute?
You came to my house?
Are we being photographed?
I don't think so.
I saw your wife leave earlier.
She's pretty.
And a stalker too.
Lovely.
I was thinking about
what you said yesterday.
Uh huh.
I told my mom it was
a misunderstanding.
Good.
Thank you.
(metal tools clanging)
I know it was shitty.
But about that 'A'
Did you mean it?
(groaning/grunting)
(tool hitting head)
- (body hitting ground)
- Mia.
(screaming)
f*ck.
(car engine running)
Incorrigible.
A person not able
to be corrected,
improved, or reformed?
Oh, the irony.
All it took to improve
your vocabulary
was hitting you over the
head with a lug-nut wrench.
You're such a loser.
And an insufferable
douche bag to boot.
I never meant for any
of this to happen.
I'm a good guy.
[Derek & Mia] No, you're not.
I bought this here and it
broke the first time I used it.
Bummer. You got a receipt?
(shovel sliding on counter top)
(paper rustling)
Okay. Do you want a new one
or do you want store credit?
I want a new one.
Isle 6.
Maybe get one with a
wooden handle this time.
(sniggering)
(shovels clanging together)
(footsteps approaching)
[clerk] Did you find
everything you needed today?
(engine revving)
(ominous music)
(heavy breathing)
(feet dragging through leaves)
(shovel digging into dirt)
(ominous music building)
(body dragging on soil)
(body landing in grave)
[Jim] Oh God.
(footsteps staggering)
[Mia] Are you checking me out?
I am not checking you
out. You're a corpse.
Ew. Even worse.
f*cking relentless.
Perv.
(footsteps walking away)
(coyotes howl in the distance)
(shovel digging into soil)
(heavy breathing)
(shovel landing in trunk)
(trunk door closing)
(grunting)
f*ck me.
(tires rolling on dirt)
(distant party music playing)
(mittens rustling)
(distant indistinct chatting)
Oh my God. Ho's be
f*cking crazy bro.
(laughing)
(indistinct chatting continues)
('Door open' alarm beeping)
(door closing)
(trunk opening)
(rolling wheel on dirt)
(footsteps scurrying)
(dramatic music)
(wheel rolling on dirt)
(heavy breathing)
[Jim] Two...
(wheel banging on trunk floor)
...three
(grunting)
Last one.
Okay.
Okay.
(metal wrench clanging on floor)
(heavy breathing)
(dramatic music continues)
(trunk door closing)
(door opening)
(engine starting)
("I'm So Very f*cked
- David Liban")
I'm so f*cked
Just another byline
I'm so very f*cked
Lost in the moonshine
We are so very f*cked
f*ck me
And f*ck you
(door creaking open/closed)
(Jim gulping)
Oh geez, Jim.
You scared the sh*t out of me.
(distant dog barking)
What are you doing?
I'm sitting.
In the dark like
some serial m*rder*r.
(laughing)
I spoke to the lawyer today.
Have you ever changed a wheel?
What?
It's a lot harder
than you'd imagine.
The bolts are hard
to take on and off.
Did you not hear me?
I spoke to the lawyer.
Oh?
She wants to meet with us.
(sobbing)
What the f*ck, Jim?
(sobbing)
We're gonna need a lawyer.
Yes. I just said, I
spoke to the lawyer.
Mia. She.
She's nothing.
The lawyer was not
concerned about her.
It's gonna be okay.
Pull yourself together.
(door creaking open)
What's going on?
Dad, why are you crying?
Is this about the email?
What email?
He didn't tell you?
Dean Crawley has been
perving out on me
because of Alex's film.
What are you talking about?
He said I was stunning.
Forwarded a picture
of myself, topless.
I don't understand, the dean?
Dad said we would get a lawyer.
Is this what this is all about?
Are you sure it's from Crawley?
Let me see the email.
This is too much.
I'm calling the lawyer.
She needs to hear about this.
(whimpering)
Dad.
It's going to be okay.
Amy,
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
I've never seen you like this.
Amy, listen.
I gotta go see what
mom is talking about.
Amy.
Alex, he's...
Yeah, I know he's
a p*rn.
(ominous music)
(fabric rustling)
[Jim whispers] ...this guy...
(car door opening/closing)
(socket wrench ratcheting)
Going to need some new wheels.
Uh huh.
For my wife's car.
Uhhh
(sighing)
You know, talking to you
is the best part of my day.
(socket wrench ratcheting)
(diploma frame thudding down)
(frame sliding on wall)
(knocking on door)
Alex.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Sure. Have a seat.
So I heard about the email.
Well now you see that's
exactly the sort of thing
I was worried about.
Yeah and I see that now.
Look, the reason that
sh*t was in the film
was to show that her
character had this
strong, positive self image.
And it kills me to
think that that guy
is out there w*nk*ng
it, to it right now.
Alex, what do you want?
I just wanted to tell
you that I cut the sh*t.
I mean, it's gone.
I think it's a little
late, don't you?
I suppose,
but I mean it's not gonna screen
that way from here on out.
Hey, can you do me a favor?
Sure. Yeah.
Anything.
Mia left that in
class the other day.
Can you return it to her?
Aren't you gonna
see her in class?
No, she hasn't been in class.
I guess she's sick.
(sighing)
Amy's not gonna like it.
Oh.
Well.
Sure. I'm asking too much.
No...
I'll do it.
[Jim] You will?
What a relief.
I am buried in grading here.
No worries.
(rucksack rustling)
Again, I'm so, so sorry.
Thank you, Alex.
That means a lot.
(footsteps walking away)
What is this?
Emily, come in here.
[Emily] Be right there.
Uh huh?
[Dean Crawley] Come on.
[Emily] Oh, okay. I'm coming.
Do you see this?
- (glasses hitting table)
- I do.
Why is it on my computer?
Well, what sites have
you been visiting?
I'm not visiting any sites.
An email was sent
from my account
with this image.
Okay, well you maybe
you were hacked.
Oh, you think?
Do you want me to call IT?
Yes, call someone.
No, you do not get to
speak to me in that tone!
You're right.
I'm sorry. Forgive me.
This is.
You know what?
Apology accepted. Okay.
I'll see what I can do.
Emily.
[Emily] Minimize it.
The photo?
- [Emily] Yes.
- Okay.
(drill whirring)
(drill whirring faster)
(drill drilling/ratcheting)
(wheel sliding off housings)
(car engine running)
(car engine turning off)
(car door opening/closing)
[Jim] (whispering) f*ck.
[Detective Wilson] Dr. Bowden.
Detective Wilson. Right?
What brings you here?
Well, Derek is still missing
and now Mia Pierce has
also been reported missing.
Wow.
What is going on?
She was in my class on Thursday.
- Thursday?
- Uh huh.
It's probably nothing,
but her mother seems to think
that it's unusual for
her to not at least call.
I couldn't say.
They're probably on
a little love getaway.
You know, college kids.
(laughing)
I was one myself. (Laughing)
Yeah.
Hey, do you happen to know
an Alex Delmonico?
Yeah, That's my
daughter's boyfriend.
What can you tell me about him?
Well, I can tell you
he's a p*rn.
p*rn?
Yeah. He made an obscene film.
Calls it art.
Sadly, my daughter's in it.
[Detective Wilson] Oh.
Yeah.
It's really a self-indulgent
piece of crap.
Okay.
Really terrible.
You know, I think
he used to date Mia.
Well, I also heard
that Mia is accusing you
of a conflict of interest.
That's a lie.
In fact, I have a
lawyer dealing with that
as we speak.
So you and Mia are not
(laughing)
Detective, I'm married.
Second marriage, right?
Yes.
What of it?
Nevermind. I'll be in touch.
(footsteps approaching)
Hi Jim.
Have a seat.
You're in my chair.
Nice picture.
You think?
Looks like dirt to me.
I know it was you.
I was advised not
to speak with you
without my attorney
being present.
Oh, cut the sh*t.
I know you sent the email.
What?
You think I sent my own
daughter that picture?
You,
you deviant.
Who else would have
reason to send it?
No one except an old pervert
who has a thing for my daughter.
You pretentious, little f*ck.
You think you can blackmail me
to get tenure?
Why would I need
to blackmail you?
I wrote a best selling novel.
(laughing) Best selling.
That book is garbage.
Oh, I suppose it's not dirt.
Full of obscenities
and salacious dreck.
(laughing) Oh,
that's rich coming
from the married guy
who's f*cking his secretary.
Careful, Jim.
My bad. Administrative
assistant.
What you did is a crime
and just plain ugly.
Your own daughter.
You got it backwards.
The dean of this institution
harassing a student,
my daughter, no less.
You repulsive,
elitist, cock knocker.
(fist hitting face) (groaning)
(body hitting ground) (groaning)
You're finished, Bowden.
Your career is over.
(fist hitting face) (groaning)
Oh, help me.
Someone, please.
(groaning) (heavy breathing)
Oh. Thank God you came.
That's Dean Crawley.
It's not what it looks like.
(groaning)
Hey.
Hey, that's my photo.
(foot hitting body) (screaming)
(groaning)
[Student 1] Are you
okay, professor?
Oh.
I'm fine.
Thank you. (Groaning)
Thank you.
Can you believe
that was my boss?
Ugh.
Ugh. Can you do me a favor?
Can you notify campus security?
[Student 2] Absolutely.
No problem.
(groaning)
You should press charges.
[Jim] Good idea.
(door opening)
(soft acoustic music)
Must be the desert
Playing tricks on my mind
- [Professor Holly]
- Also, a prolific writer.
Good journals and
a published book.
You guys started without me?
d*ck, we have to
ask you to leave.
What? Why?
We heard about the situation
with Dr. Bowden.
Oh, that's all under control.
Bowden, it's complicated.
You assaulted him.
Does that sound like
something I would do?
Without good reason.
Until the investigation
is resolved,
you are indefinitely suspended
from your duties as dean.
Suspended?
What were you thinking?
You can't suspend
me. I'm the dean.
(car door opening)
(keys jangling)
(car door closing)
(trunk door opening)
Hello?
Let me guess, more wheels?
It turns out I didn't
use the second set.
I'd like to return them.
Ah.
But I didn't even use them.
Can't I just leave them here?
Get them out of my car.
How many?
[Jim] Four.
60 bucks.
What? I paid you 50.
Recycling fee?
15 each.
You're telling me
I need to pay you
to leave them with you?
You can keep them. It
does not matter to me.
Fine.
(cash rustling)
Where should I put them?
Would you put them
on the north side?
It's really gonna help
improve the feng shui.
This is like a
front page headline.
Crazed dean att*cks professor.
(chuckling)
I can't believe he just
came into your office
and started punching you.
I know. Insane, right?
Did he say anything?
He called my book salacious.
Says the perv.
His opinion no longer
matters. He's done.
A beautiful woman has
replaced my little Peanut.
I want you to know
how proud I am of you.
Both of you.
I'm sorry to put you
through all this.
It's not your fault.
This place sucks.
Once this tenure
business is behind us,
things should settle down.
(phone beeping)
What the f*ck?
Now what?
Alex.
He's at the police station.
What? Why?
Something about
Mia?
What is it with that girl?
(doorbell ringing)
(door squeaking open)
Good evening. I'm
Detective Wilson.
Is Dr. Bowden available?
Detective? Yeah, just a sec.
Jim.
(door squeaking closed)
[Allison] Detective Wilson?
Hey, what's this about?
Dr. Bowden, I'm going
to have to ask you
to come down to the station
and answer a few questions.
What happened to your face?
I was assaulted.
By my boss.
Your boss assaulted you?
Yeah. Dean Crawley.
I guess he didn't
appreciate your critique.
I want to press charges.
We can talk about that too.
What's this about?
It's about a
student. Mia Pierce.
You f*cked her.
I knew it.
What?
No.
Why does your head
immediately go there?
Did you f*ck your professors?
Not all of them.
Mrs. Bowden, please.
Mia was just reported missing.
We just have to ask your
husband a few questions.
Maybe check the strip clubs.
(ominous music)
Should I call my lawyer?
I don't know,
should you?
[Officer Tapper] Why were
you at her house yesterday?
I was returning her bag.
Why did you have her bag?
Dr. Bowden asked
me to return it.
She left it in the classroom.
[Officer Tapper] Why didn't
he just give it to her?
He said he was busy.
(plastic bag rustling)
(tool clunking down on table)
[Officer Tapper]
Tell me about this.
Is that blood?
It sure is.
We found this in your
garage at the frat house.
Okay. (Nervously laughing)
I don't know
anything about that.
(knocking on door)
(door opening)
(indistinct whispering)
[Officer Tapper] All right.
(door closing)
(door opening/closing)
(chair dragging on floor)
I want to press charges
against Crawley.
Later.
Where's Mia?
How should I know?
Well, word is that she's
having an affair with you.
And as I've said, that's a lie.
You gave Alex her bag to return.
Tell me about that.
Why would I have her bag?
That's the question, isn't it?
That kid is shifty.
Do you know that
he's a p*rn?
You mentioned it.
(papers rustling)
Are these your
daughter's breasts?
[Jim] Oh God.
[Detective Wilson] Is this
the p*rn you mentioned?
Yes.
How does it make
you feel about Alex?
[Jim] Not good.
Would you say you
were angry with him?
Maybe, yes.
But also I saw him with Mia.
Kissing.
And that made you jealous?
No, the kid is cheating
on my daughter.
Why would I be jealous?
Could you please put that away?
Your boss has accused
you of a cyber crime.
He says you hacked his computer
and sent this to your daughter.
I don't know how
to hack anything.
He's harassing her and trying
to place the blame on me.
You think I want that out there?
Tell me about the wheels.
What wheels?
I hit a pothole and I
bent a rim out of shape.
So you replaced all four,
for one damaged wheel.
Twice.
It turns out I didn't
need the second set.
I brought those back.
We've got two missing people.
An as*ault
and now a cyber crime.
Look at my face.
I'm the victim here.
Sure.
I'm going through tenure now.
So I guess my behavior's
a little erratic.
Do you know about tenure?
My wife is tenured.
Ah, then you know
what it's like.
What's her field?
Chemistry.
Mm, I'm in the humanities.
Scientists have it much easier.
I mean, so long as
they're productive.
I write fiction.
Well, I guess that's it for now.
- I can go?
- Yeah.
I'll be in touch.
(chair sliding on floor)
(feet shuffling)
(door opening)
Oh, Jim.
I liked your book.
It's salacious.
[Officer Tapper] We got
the w*apon, we got the blood.
We know who, we just need
(door closing)
[Alex] I didn't do
it. She was my friend.
I don't even know any Derek.
I'm just a film student.
Dr. Bowden gave me her bag.
He'll tell you.
Just talk to him.
(ominous music)
(Jim whistling)
What you whistling there, Jim?
d*ck.
It's Dean Crawley.
I was at the police
station last night.
They know all about
your transgressions.
(laughing) I don't like you.
I never have.
I knew what kind of person
you were from the get go.
Oh, and what kind
of person is that?
A weasel.
A spineless, little weasel.
I need to get to my office.
You know? You could have
found a new job elsewhere.
(heavy sigh)
My lawyer has advised
me not to speak.
Don't start with
your f*cking lawyer.
I've got a lawyer.
You've got a lawyer.
Everyone's got a lawyer!
Do you know that I am
indefinitely suspended?
Oh no. What a shame.
How could you use your
own daughter like that?
Well, I didn't use my
daughter for any sort.
(Jim choking)
Don't you f*cking dare
deny it.
We both know what you did.
Adversaries, remember?
Yes. That's it.
Adversaries.
See,
this.
This is all you're doing.
d*ck, don't.
Don't what?
k*ll you? (Laughing)
You have no value.
My career is over.
Seems like a
reasonable alternative.
But I have a better idea.
d*ck...
It's Dean Crawley!
You insignificant, little f*ck.
Now.
Confess.
To what?
Everything!
Should I start with
your infatuation
with my daughter.
Okay!!
Okay! I did it.
I did it.
I sent the email.
To your daughter.
Yes, but I did it
FOR my daughter.
You clearly had it out for me.
I had to do something.
Don't you dare put this on me.
You could have
gotten on the train.
Oh.
Don't start with the f*cking
train metaphor again.
What have you
accomplished lately?
How many books have you written?
I don't write books.
I'm a dean.
I run the entire college.
Yeah.
You go to meetings and
f*ck with everyone's lives.
You're the reason
everyone hates academics.
It's us faculty that do the
job of educating students.
Or f*cking them.
(grunting)
(g*n f*ring)
(body hitting floor)
Wow.
(groaning)
I've never sh*t anyone before.
It's different than
a paper target.
That looks like it hurts.
It really does.
Oh good.
I'm so glad to hear that.
I cannot tell you how many
times I've wanted to do that.
Not just to you,
but to a lot of faculty.
Always wanting something.
Demanding this, demanding that.
I want a raise,
lower teaching load.
I want a bigger office.
For f*ck's sake.
A bunch of whining, maggots.
(foot hitting body) Oh.
(g*n falling onto floor)
(heavy breathing) (groaning)
(heavy breathing) (groaning)
Are you worthy, d*ck?
I can still get you tenure.
I can and I will.
You're lying.
Jim.
All I have is my career.
My wife, she knows
about the email.
Does she know about
you and Emily?
I have a photo.
Granted not a great one.
(ominous music)
You miserable piece of sh*t.
(g*n f*ring)
(heavy breathing)
(body hitting floor)
(groaning)
(groaning)
(phone sliding on floor)
I guess racketball
is out of the question?
(footsteps running)
[Student 3] Professor
Bowden, O-M-G.
Are you like, okay?
Call an ambulance right
away, and the police.
[Student 4] No signal.
Hold tight.
Dr. Bowden?
Yeah.
I've been meaning to
talk to you about my paper.
Maybe you can come
by during office hours?
("Butterfly - Animals In Exile")
Must be the desert
Playing tricks on my mind
Others have tried and failed
To hold you still
Well, neither can I
I'd never try
It wouldn't be right
(music fading)
(knocking on door)
[Professor Park] Jim,
did you get the memo?
[Jim] What memo?
It's official.
You've been tenured.
Unanimous vote.
Are you serious?
I am.
You can pick up your letter
from the provost office.
Congratulations, Jim.
You've earned it.
(soft inspiring music)
Holy sh*t.
I'm tenured.
(distant police sirens wailing)
(door opening)
(paper rustling)
Hey, what's up?
I heard about tenure.
You did? Tell me.
Let me conference in Amy.
I want your both to hear this.
- (phone ringing)
- Hey Dad.
Hey Peanut. You're
on with me and mom.
Is this about Alex?
I can't believe that my
boyfriend is a m*rder*r.
Thank God he never hurt
you. We're so lucky.
Listen, I've got some news.
He seemed like a normal kid.
A normal sociopath.
Ladies, I've got
something to tell you.
What?
I am officially tenured
with promotion to
associate professor.
You got it.
(laughing)
I'm really so
happy for you, dad.
But I hate it here.
I'm transferring.
What?
Well, sure honey, we
can talk about that.
But this is a really good thing
for all of us.
It is.
I'm so glad for you.
Well, thank you.
I'm just so glad it
finally happened.
After all these years,
how do you feel?
Like the weight of the world
has been lifted
from my shoulders.
(laughing)
Listen, if that house
is still available.
(tires screeching)
(car striking body)
(gasping)
(sobbing)
(laughing)
(instrumental music)
(laughing)
Whoops. (Laughing)
(door slamming on floor)
(choir music)
(bright music)
The Dr. James Bowden
memorial bench.
Right here in the
middle of campus.
Ain't that special.
Huh.
Not seeing a Richard Crawley
memorial bench anywhere.
You?
(laughing)
Your legacy.
A salacious book
(laughing) and a f*cking bench.
Yeah.
Well, at least I got tenure.
f*cking assh*le.
d*ck.
("I Can Fly - Animals In Exile)
Dreams are pensive
Dragonflies
Golden light flickering
Off their wings
Sparkling in our eyes
They fly higher and higher
Did I climb to high
I can fly when I'm
inside with no one but me
I can fly, I can fly
No one can see
I can fly when I'm
inside with no one but me
I can fly, I can fly
No one can see
(instrumental continues)
Dreams can all die on a vine
Say so
Sorry's enough
You know
If you mean it,
mean it enough
They fly higher and higher
Did I climb too high
I can fly when I'm
inside with no one but me
I can fly, I can fly
No one can see
I can follow her inside
No one but me
I can fly, I can fly
No one can see
I can fly, I can fly
I can fly, I can fly
I can fly, I can fly
I can fly, I can fly
(music fading)
Publish or Perish (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3