04x02 - Dizzy Doctors

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[SNORES] [EXHALES]

[PEEPS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [PEEPS]

[SNORES] [EXHALES]

[PEEPS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [HONKS]

[SNORES] [EXHALES]

[PEEPS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [CLEARS THROAT]

[RINGS]

[TIMPANI HIT]
Get up, you sleepyheads.

Look at me, every morning,
wide-awake at : .

I'm awake.

How about you? I'm awake,

but I can't get my eyes open.

Ow.

Thanks.

Hey, how about some breakfast?

Yeah, how about some breakfast?

Yeah, how about--?

Oh, no man again.

Come on, get breakfast.

Oh, I don't know
why we got married.

Why can't our wives
get our breakfast?

Our wives can't get breakfast
and work at the same time.

[SNORING] [EXHALING]

[SHIVERS]

Come and get it.

[CLANGING]

Come and get it.

Mm.

What's that you got? Cheese.

Cheese? That's soap.

I thought it tastes
kinda strong.

[RINGS]

[SNORES] [EXHALES]

[HONKS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [PEEPS]

Oh, I don't know
what they're trying to hide.

Those loafers are still in bed.

They must have
sleeping sickness.

I'll get 'em up.

[HONKS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [PEEPS]

[SNORES] [EXHALES]

[GROWLS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [HONKS]

[SNORES] [EXHALES]

[PEEPS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [PEEPS]

I'll get 'em up.

Come and get it.

Come and get it.
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

I'm sick and tired
of you lying around the house

doing nothing but eating
and sleeping all day.

And I haven't had a new dress
since we've been married.

Well, we're only married
years.

Yes, and either you get out
and get a job

or I'll get a divorce.

Oh, honey, not that.

We looked for a job
one day last year,

there isn't any.

There's one right here.

There is? What's it say?

"Wanted: Salesmen to
sell Brighto."

Well, we don't know
anything about sellin'.

If you don't get that job
you're gonna get out

of this house
and never come back again.

And that goes for you too,
you weasel-faced porcupine.

I know, that goes for me too.

That goes for all of you,
you sleeping hyenas.

Wait a minute, honey,
we'll go out

and get this job
even if it kills us.

Come on, fellas.

Now, give us a kiss
and wish us luck.

Hey.

Hey.

The hats.

Keep a cool head, naturally.

I've advertised for salesmen
in every newspaper in town,

and not even one
single applicant.

Well, since prosperity's back
everybody's working.

Well, it doesn't seem possible.

Surely there's
someone I can get.

Someone must sell this product.

I've got to have salesmen.

Salesmen.

I think we're being paged.

Come on.

Salesmen, that's what I need.

Salesmen. Here we are.

Three of the best salesmen
that ever saled.

Have you ever sold anything?

Have we ever sold anything?

Have we ever sold anything?

Have we?

Ooh, ooh!

Hello. [LAUGHS]

Well, this, gentlemen,
is Brighto.

STOOGES: Yes.
The savior of a nation.

Yes, yes. The scientific marvel

of the age. No.

Yes.

Brighto makes old bodies new.

Brighto, Brighto,
makes old bodies new.

We'll sell a million bottles.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

STOOGES [SHOUTING]:
Brighto, Brighto, Brighto.

Brighto, Brighto, Brighto.

Brighto, Brighto, Brighto.

Brighto, Brighto, Brighto.

Brighto, Brighto, Brighto.

Brighto.

[MUTTERS]

STOOGES:
Brighto, Brighto, Brighto.

LARRY: Get your Brighto here.
Brighto.

Brighto, Brighto.

Hey, what's this stuff
for anyway?

Why, it's a cleaner, ya chump.

I know, it's auto polish.

You boys really wanna
know what it's for?

Yeah. Yeah. It's for sale.

Now, get busy sellin' it.

Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Right this way, folks,

the best auto polish
on the market.

Brighto, cleans
and polishes right away.

Brighto? Mister, can I rub
a little of this on your body?

You just try it if you want
a good punch in the nose.

[BARKS LIKE DOG]

[HISSES]

Remember the name,
boss, Brighto.

You'll never forget it
as long as you live.

Neither will I.

Hey, you.

Here we are,
ladies and gentleman

just to advertise
the world's greatest

and fastest cleaner
on the market.

How 'bout a bottle?
Will that stuff clean furniture?

I'll say it'll clean furniture.

I'll try a bottle.

Thank you, sir.
You'll never regret it.

There they go,
satisfied customers

by the thousand.
Hey, how about--?

Listen, you can't sell
that stuff out here with--

Oh, I'm sorry, buddy, I didn't
notice the leg was gone.

Huh?

Oh, yeah.
Gone but not forgotten.

Yeah, w*r, eh?

No, banana peel.

Could I sell you
a bottle of this Brighto?

I just found out it cleans
Panama hats and furniture.

Also, if you have a knickknack
with a nick in it,

we'll knock the nick out
of the knickknack with Brighto.

Dr. Bright said--

What's the matter?

I think I got somethin'.

Or something's got me. [GROWLS]

No. Can I get you somethin'?

A glass of water maybe?
No, I'll be all right.

I just get nervous like this
before I make a sale.

[RIPS]

There, I guess that's over.

Say, you better let me take
the spot off your coat.

Spot? Yes.

Where? Oh, Brighto is marvelous.

It'll take it off in a jiffy.

Well, great. I got
a spot over here too.

Yeah, we'll get to
that in a second.

Is it gone? In just another--

I'll say it's gone.

Good, give me a bottle
of that stuff.

What?

Ooh.

Come back here, you.

Halt.

Halt.

[MOANS]

Brighto? Brighto?

Brighto?

Want a ride?

No, want to buy
a bottle of Brighto?

No. Then I'll take a ride.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, wait a minute,
turn around quick.

Hey, stop. Wait a minute.

Well, what's the matter?

Nothin'. This is as far as I go.

Ooh.

[WHIMPERS]

[WHIMPERS]

Come here, k*ller.

Where's the other chucklehead?

There's a customer, hurry up.

Hey, mister,
polish your car with Brighto?

Makes old bodies new.

No, I just had it
washed and polished.

They gave you a bad job.

Let's polish him up
and surprise him anyhow.

Certainly. After we shine it,
he won't even recognize it.

Come on, make it snappy.

[HUMMING HIGH-PITCHED]

Hey, this car sure is dirty.

I hope it's dirt.

It looks like
the paint's comin' off.

[HUMMING]

Hey, this stuff's
takin' the paint off.

Police.

Police.

Help, police.

Help, police.

Ah.

If I ever catch you guys again,

I'll tear you limb from limb.

Well, boys, how did you do?

We almost got pinched.

Yeah, we rubbed it
on a man's car,

took the paint right off.
That polish ain't no good.

Polish? You idiots.

That's medicine.

Medicine, oh.

Ah. I feel better already.

What was wrong with you?
Nothin'.

Ow.

You're fired, the three of you.

Get out.
Oh, wait a minute, boss.

If we lose this job
we lose our homes.

I don't care if he-- Oh, boss,

give us another chance.

Come on, just one more chance.

Yeah, be a regular guy.

You got a kind face. Aw, please.

Oh, it's a matter--
It's a matter of life and death.

I didn't know it was medicine.

All right, uh--

I'll give you another chance.

All three of us? Yes.

That's three more chances, boys.
Come on.

Well, I tell ya,
they ruined my car.

Yes, but look what they did
to my uniform arm.

I want--

Oh, let's go. [SQUEALS]

There they are.

Quick, in the truck.
In the truck.

Okay, boys, the coast is clear.

Come on.

We sure gave
those guys the slip.

Brighto?

Quiet.

Look, there must be plenty
of sick people in here.

That's just the place
to sell medicine. Come on.

Ready, heave ho.

Turn right at the next corner.

LARRY: Right. MOE: Right.

Right. Right.

[WHEELS SQUEAL]

Ow. Ooh.

What's the idea of going
through a boulevard stop?

Look at our fender.
Where's your license?

Why don't you say somethin'?
That's enough.

Just as I thought,
drunk driving.

Give him a ticket.
One-way or roundtrip?

Make it a one-way rountrip--

What do you want?

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Calling Dr. Jones.

Calling Dr. Jones.

Hey, it's down there.

Calling Dr. Jones.
Calling Dr. Jones.

Report to Room .

[PHONE RINGS]

Yes? Yes, yes?

Yes? What is it?

A man wants to know
what to do for inflammation.

Why call us?
Tell him to dial information.

You heard it.

[LOUDLY OVER PA]
Quiet, we're on the air.

[PLAYS CHORD]

Ooh. Shh.

Hello, everybody.

We just brought the moon
over the mountain.

Hello, Ma, hello, Pa.

It wasn't much of a fight.

I stood like that...
but not for long.

I-- Quiet.

This broadcast is coming to you
through the courtesy of Brighto,

and its six delicious flavors.

Chocolate, vanilla,
cranberry, strawberry--

CURLY [OVER PA]: And raspberry.

[WHACK] Ouch!

It's still raspberry.

MOE: Hm. [BOP]

CURLY: Ow. Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

MOE: Now, keep quiet
or I'll sock you again.

Are you listenin'?

♪ Bah-bah-bah-boo
Bah-bah-bah-boo ♪

♪ Bah-bah-- ♪
Quiet.

Now, don't go away,
ladies and gentlemen,

we'll soon be with you.

[ALL WHIZZING]

[UNISON] Boom.

Coo-coo.

[SNORING]

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

Brighto. Who wants some Brighto?

Anybody want--? How about you?

Shh. Don't wake him.

He's been asleep days.

Hm, what a catnap.

See if he's playin' possum.

You know, they will
do that once in a while.

[HEARTBEAT,
INTERMITTENT BUZZING]

Hm. What is it?

The line's busy. Oh, busy.

Ooh.

[POP]

Now you're disconnected.
Excuse it, please.

Give me back my nickel.

Here's five. [GROWLS]

Get a bottle.

[HONKS]

Look, he's awake.
Yes, he's awake.

Why, you idiots,
I've been tryin' to

beat Rip Van Winkle's record.

I want to go to sleep.

Put me to sleep.

Boys, put.

[CLANK]

CURLY: Nighty-night.

Oh, another patient.

Take that scowl off your face.

What's the matter with him?

Oh, he's got dandruff.

Hm.

Dandruff.

So--

Get up out of there.

Stick out your tongue. Ah.

Not at her, at me.

Now, hold it.

Ah, a coat.

Where's the vest?

See that?

Yeah. Oh. Get out.

Don't worry, pal. All you need
is a treatment of Brighto.

Yeah, pick a number
from one to .

Two. Two bottles, boys.

Right. Two bottles, right.

[HUMMING HIGH-PITCHED]

You'll never be troubled
with dandruff again.

Or hair either.

Ah.

Oh, you look much better.

[SNAPS] This is the place.

We'll see the head guy.

He'll probably buy
our whole stock.

Why didn't you think of that?

Why didn't you think of that?

[MOANS] Come on.

Yes, but--
There's no buts about it.

I'm the boss of this hospital--

Say, boss,
we got an article here--

Just a second.

Okay. And another thing--

Say, --you fellas know--

what's all the fuss?
We're in a hurry.

[GLASS CLINKING]

Quiet.

A--

[MOANS]

Ah.

Those are the birds
that wrecked my car.

Get 'em, boys.

Hm.

[WHIMPERS]

Get off.

Go. Go. Go.

MOE: Give it gas,
boys. Give it gas.

LARRY: They're gainin' on us.

Full speed, more speed.

CURLY: I got it wide open.
MOE: Well, open it wider.

CURLY: I can't. I can't
find the clutch. Oh!

[CURLY HUMMING]

[FEET SCREECH]

MAN: There there are,
boys. Get 'em. Come on.

[INDISTINCT YELLING]

[WHISTLES] Hurry.

[HUMMING]

Quick, the elevator.
The elevator.

[GRUNTS] [WHIMPERS]

Whoa.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Come on, let's go.

Come on, boys.

CURLY:
Whoo. Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Ouch.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[CRASH]

[GRUNTING]

What happened?

You went wide on the last turn.

I ought to-- DRIVER: Hey.

What's the big idea?

CURLY: Whoo-whoo-whoo.

[SNORES] [EXHALES]

[PEEPS] [SNORES]

[EXHALES] [PEEPS]

[♪]