02x02 - Restless Knights

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[WIND BLOWING]

[THUNDER CRASHING]

I would speak with my sons...

and this wild,
tempest-laden night

suits the purpose best.

Call them.

Hi, Pop.

Didst thou callest, my lord?

Yes. Didst?

[THUNDER CRASHING]

Gather closely, my sons.

I have a...

terrible confession to make.

[WHOOPING]

Okay, Pop. Spill the porridge.

You-- ALL: Yes?

You-- ALL: Yes, yes?

You are of noble blood.

Years ago, I was
the royal chamberlain

of the kingdom of Anesthesia.

And Mama?

She was the royal chambermaid.

Our old kingdom is in danger.

The present prime minister

is plotting to either k*ll

or oust our young queen.

But what can we do?

Offer your swords
in the queen's service.

All for one. One for all.

Every man for himself.

Rightfully,
you are the Duke of Durham.

You the Count of Fife--

And I, the Count of Ten?

No. You are Baron of Gray Manor.

Father, we shall
do your bidding.

Two clubs.

I double. I redouble.

I triple.

Stop. You're too late.

Come close, my sons,
that I may bless you.

All for one. One for all.

I for myself.

[GASPS]

[BOTH TRUMPETING]

His Highness, Prince Boris,

prime minister of Anesthesia.

Our most gracious
and regal Majesty,

our own Queen Anne
of Anesthesia.

[♪]

Three gentlemen
of noble birth and mean

desire an audience
with Your Majesty.

Who are they?

From what they say, I gathered
they are the Duke of Mixture,

the Fife of Drum
and Baron of Brains.

Call the guards.

Call all the guards!

MAN : Calling all guards.
MAN : Calling all guards.

MAN : Calling all guards.
MAN : Calling all guards.

MAN : Calling all guards.
MAN : Calling all guards.

Did you call me, Your Majesty?

Bid the three strangers enter.

[PLAYING TRUMPETS]

From whence came you?

Paris.

Show her the postcards.

And what were you
doing in Paris?

Oh, looking over

the Paris sites.

What brings you here?

There are rumors of intrigue
against Your Majesty.

But don't worry. We'll
guard you well, Annie.

"Queenie" to you.

We accept your offer
and appoint you

the queen's royal guards.

All for one.

One for all.

I'll take care of myself.

[WHOOPS]

I'll take the blond.

I'll take the brunette.

I'll take the black and tan.

Hey. There's four of 'em.

We'll throw the other one
to the dogs.

[BARKING]

Your Majesty, the royal
wrestlers await.

I'll bet on the little guy.

How much?

Three thousand guineas,
two geese and a duck.

That's a fowl bet.

Throw in a chicken.
I'll take half of it.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[APPLAUSE] Ah.

Pooh-pooh. That's nothing.

It's a frame-up.

Queenie... he's got

the strongest feet
in the kingdom.

I would see you perform.

Keep a stiff upper lip, Queenie.

We'll be back in a jiffy.

We'll abduct the queen today.

Then the kingdom will be mine.

[YELLS] [SPITS]

[DINGS]

[BOTH CLAP ONCE]

[BOTH CLAP ONCE]

[BOTH CLAP ONCE]

[BOTH CLAPPING]

[CROWD MURMURING]

[♪]

[WHOOPING]

[PANTING]

[SNEEZES VIOLENTLY]

[WHINES, PANTING]

[CURLY WHOOPING]

Ow. Oh.

[CROWD LAUGHING]

[APPLAUSE]

[WHOOPING]

Hm.

Hm. Hah.

Hm.

[WHOOPING]

[HAIR RIPS]

[CROWD MURMURING]

[SQUEALING]

[EXHALES]

Little lower. A little lower.

A little lower.

[WHINES] Oh.

[WHOOPS]

Uh, big head's in the way again.

Get... out of the way.

The queen. The queen.

She's gone.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

MAN: Find her.

What did you do with the queen?

Queen?

Maybe he trumped her.

The queen has disappeared.

Her guards have been lax.

We have not.
We've been wrestling.

Yeah.

Seize them, men.

[ALL WHOOPING]

ALL: Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh.

[WHOOPING]

[ALL GROANING]

[ALL YELLING]

[YELLING]

Ow. Ow.

[WHOOPING]

Take them away
and have them ex*cuted!

[SNAPS]

[WHOOPING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Fix arrows.

Maybe they'll miss us.

That'll be "an arrow" escape.

[NYUKS]

Ooh!

Draw.

Aim.

Hold on a minute now.

Ain't there another way
we can die?

You may either have
your head cut off

or be burned at the stake.

[LAUGHS]

Cut my head off.

Not me. I'd rather be
burned at the stake.

Why?

A hot steak is better
than a cold chop.

[GASPS]

Enough of this nonsense.

Aim!

[WOMAN SINGING]

Boy. If we could only
find Queenie,

our lives would be spared. Yeah.

"Her Majesty's hidden in
the wine cellars. A friend."

Let's go.

Not me.

Come on. [WHINILY] Not me.

Now you coming? Certainly.

Come on. Even if we
can't find the queen,

we can at least get a drink. Oh.

Hey, wait for me, would you?

Long live the queen.

[MEN LAUGHING]

MAN: Boris won't
let her live long.

Who's going to get
those guys out of there?

We'll toss for it.
Odd man does the dirty work.

Got any coins?

Odd man loses. Okay.

What do you got? Head.

What do you got? Tail.

Head. You lose.

I never beat those guys. I--

Now, listen.

You attract their attention
one at a time, see?

Have 'em chase you by here.
And we'll do the rest.

Right.

Ooh.

Ah.

[WHOOPING]

[WHOOPING]

Oh-- I--

[CURLY WHOOPING]

[WHOOPING]

[SNAPS]

[WHOOPING]

[WHINES]

[WHINING]

Come here, chief.

Help! Help!

It's the queen.

Oh.

[GRUNTS]

You fellows look around there,
and I'll go this way.

Do the same as you did before.

Lead 'em past us.
We'll do the rest.

They got him.

[GASPS]

It's Queenie.

[WHINES]

[♪]