01x07 - Hollywood Forever

[bunniefuu]

Previously on" 90210: Where do I know you from? You an actress? I'm producing a slasher film about Beverly Hills cheerleaders.

Why don't you both come in and audition for me? Call me.

We'll set something up.

Sam and I are going to visit Dylan.

Well, how long are you gonna be gone? The school gave me a two

-week leave.



- I think it's over, E.



- I think you're right.



- Why don't I stay here?

- Okay.



- Okay?

- Okay, yes.

I think you can handle it.

If we find out that you're using illegal dr*gs, we'll have no choice but to expel you.

Adrianna does not use dr*gs.

Welcome to the big leagues, little lady.

You know, who needs Big Brother when you've got Facebook? Class, this is Kimberly Mclntyre.

She's transferring to West Beverly starting today.



- Please make her feel at home.



- Thanks, Harry.

Welcome to West Bev.



- You can have a seat right there.



- Okay.

Hey.

Can I just say that I was the new girl up until right now? So I totally know how you feel.

Well, I guess you weren't very good at it, because now I got the job.

That's cute.

You wanna tell us a little something about yourself, Kimberly? Well, why don't you just take whatever the old new girl said about herself and just make it better? Well, that's tough because the old new girl is from Kansas, and it just doesn't get any better than that.

There's no place like home.

Right.

Okay, so let me just talk about myself without feeling totally awkward.

Don't worry, everyone in this class has had their awkward moments.

I'm Kim.

I'm from Las Vegas.

I wear size

-eight shoes.

I have three piercings, but I won't say where.

And I like tacos.

Great.

I also like tacos.

Welcome to the school.

Any piercings? Moving on.

This has always been one of my favorite experiments.

You'll be paired off into couples, all with different socioeconomic backgrounds.

By the end of the experiment, you'll have taken care of your RealCare Baby and also managed the family budget that you are each given.

That's women's work.

I mean, whoever I get paired up with better recognize.

Mike, you'll be paired with Navid.



- What?

- What? That's right.

You are a same

-sex couple.

And Navid is the breadwinner.

I usually go for blondes.

With boobs.

Annie and Ethan, you are married.

Annie works.

Ethan is a stay

-at

-home dad.



- Do I have, like, a hobby?

- Your hobby is your baby.

Your unique wireless ID will track your baby care.

The baby must be fed, burped, rocked and diapered around the clock.

If you shake the baby, do not support the baby's head, or mishandle it in any way, it will register as abuse and you will fail.

"Half

-birthday"? It's the six

-month mark between birthdays.

You know how when you're a kid and you're like: "Oh, I'm 4 and three

-quarters," or, "I'm 5 and a half"? It's like every single milestone is such a big deal.

And then at some point, you just stop counting all those little in

-between markers.

Yeah, not me.

I will always celebrate my half

-birthday.



- You are a very strange girl.



- Yeah? I'm a strange girl who's gonna have the most rockingest half

-birthday ever.

Come on, "Psycho" at a cemetery? How awesomely perfect.



- Okay, tell me you're into Hitchcock.



- I don't do horror movies.

Why? You a little scared? A little scared? You scared? No, it I just think they're stupid.

Okay, A, sometimes that's the beauty of them, and B, clearly you just haven't been initiated properly.

Well, maybe you can initiate me the right way.

I think I can.

Hey, since I am a high

-powered attorney, the teacher says you can take the baby during business hours.

What? No, don't you have daycare at your fancy office? No.

No, I don't.

So hey, how's my nephew?

- Your nephew is a girl.



- That's what I meant.

I think you guys have things in reverse.

First you date, then marriage, and then a baby.

But, you know, whatever works for you.

No, me and Ethan, not so much.

He is in rebound city.

Plus, I take my relationships seriously, and from what I've seen, clearly he does not.

And I need a guy who's dependable, who I can count on, you know? I feel you.



- Well, hello, stranger.



- Oh, hey, hey, hey.

What's up? Not much, I just haven't really talked to you in a while.



- How you been?

- Sit.

So?

- So?

- How's mommy dearest? You know, desperate to be Dina Lohan.

And making me suffer for every second that she's not.



- How are you holding up?

- I'm fine.

Yeah? There's a lot of talk going around, you know? I hear this talk, and I worry about you.

Yeah, well, that's all it is, is talk, rumors.

Good.

Good.

The only problem I have is her.

She got me kicked out of the play.

She's the one running to Principal Daddy with lies.

Today after school, she's auditioning against me for a movie.

How messed up is that?

- Weird.



- Whatever.

Okay, I just You know, I hear things, and I know things.

And I see you putting eye drops in your eyes All right, it's called allergies, Naomi.

Can we not do an intervention in the quad? Seriously, I'm fine.

Let's do five minutes on you.

Ethan and I broke up, my parents are getting a divorce, my whole world is just basically a disaster, and I don't know, I just kind of need my best friend right now.

I'm sorry.

Hey, I've just been really wrapped up in auditions.

I'm here, always.

How about we hang out after school today? Pinkberry and shopping? Ragging on our parents?

- Good times.



- Good times.

All right, wish me luck.

I need a lot of it.

Good luck.

Hey, in fact, it's been a while, but switch? Switch.

It has been a while.



- For luck?

- For luck.

Now you're definitely gonna get it.

Great, I'll get the invitations printed, and I'll call you when they're in.

I think it's gonna be the best fundraiser we've had yet.

I have no doubt.



- I wanna thank you both for your help.



- Thank you.

I'll see you soon.

Talk to you soon.

Harry, can I talk to you for a second? Sure, yeah.

It's about our son.

I mean, you know, do you think about him? Do you wonder what he looks like, what his interests are? Yeah.

Yeah.

But I'm just trying to figure this all out.

I mean, I'd like to know that he's okay.

Knowing that he's okay isn't good enough for me.

So I've decided to do something about it.

Which is? I wanna hire a private investigator to find him.

Please, please don't k*ll me.

I am so not ready to die yet.

I haven't even been to prom.

Well, I haven't been asked, actually, but I heard that Rick Bartley's gonna ask me.

And he's Rick Bartley.

You wouldn't wanna take that away from a young girl in her prime, now, would you? Please don't k*ll me.

I'm not Please don't k*ll me.

I'm not ready I haven't even I haven't even gone to Okay.

Damn it.

Please don't k*ll me.

That was great, Annie.

Thanks for coming in.



- Thank you for having me.



- Sure.



- You can go now, Annie.



- Right, leaving.

Hi, Adrianna.



- Ready, Adrianna?

- I'm ready to rock it.

Hello.

We've only just been broken up for a few days and you already have a baby with someone else? That's impressive.

Yeah, we're just doing a project for Miss Wells' class.

Oh, you two are doing that project? That's cute.

Yes, we are married for the project.

This is our baby.

How nice for you.

I don't care.

I've moved on.

Ethan and I are over, and he is more than welcome to have as many babies as he wants with whomever he pleases.

Well, I am off to meet Adrianna.

You guys have fun.

Enjoy your little baby.

Bye

-bye.

And awkward.



- You okay?

- Yeah.

Good times.

Yeah, well, it's not like you guys are gonna stay broken up, right? No, actually, we are.

Yeah, well, I've been here six weeks, and you guys have already broken up and gotten back together three times, so That's the point.

I can't do it anymore.

We've been through this so many times, and it didn't even hurt this last time.

I don't wanna be in a relationship where I just keep breaking up with the person.

And this room, I'm painting this wall black.



- Just one wall?

- Yeah.

I think it makes a statement.

Well, what's the statement? You ran out of paint? You know black's my favorite color.

I like that.

But what about Kelly? She doesn't strike me as a wall

-painted

-black kind of girl.

That's the beauty of paint.

You can just paint over it.

Man, so you're staying here by yourself for two weeks.

You aren't scared to be here all alone? I need you to relax and just embrace the awesomeness of this situation.

Me, your girlfriend, has a house all to herself.

Point taken.

So this is definitely gonna become the new party house.



- I think I'm gonna charge a cover.



- You gonna charge me?

- You'll work it off.



- I like the way you think.

But right now, you're gonna lay back, take off your shoes, and get ready for something you've never done before.

You don't even have to say any more.

Dang, I didn't say nothing, but it worked.

In my hands, I have the three greatest horror movies ever.

We're gonna have a major movie marathon, my friend.

You have some nerve, accusing me of doing I have some nerve?

- You have some

- Hey, what's going on? Harry, it's my pool, and I'm going to do what I want when I want.

Did I miss a segue here? Your mother flashed the gardener again.

I never flashed Mauricio.

I like to swim naked.

I like how it feels when the water glides off my ass.



- Why should I give that up?

- Mom, Mauricio comes once a week.

Do you have to swim naked at that exact time? Harry, don't be such a prude.

I'm letting my freak flag fly, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Yeah, and speaking of odd women, Tracy was at school today, and she completely blindsided me about About? About wanting to hire a PI to find our birth son, and she wants my okay.

Did you give it to her? No.

I mean, I don't know how I can stop her if she wants to Just Time out.

I get the feeling the only thing holding you back is how you think I'm gonna react.

No, that is not the only thing.

I mean, that's a big thing, but the kids too.

Do you wanna find him, Harry? Yeah.

I do.

I was thinking that I could write a letter, register with the adoption agency, and someday, if he wants to find me or us, he can.

Okay, well, I think that sounds like a good plan.

You are amazing.

Yeah? Tomorrow? That's kind of sudden, isn't it? I thought you guys were gonna scope the place out first.

I'm so glad you came by, Naomi.

Gosh, every time I see you, I think it's such a shame you're not trying to be an actress like Ade.

You've got such a look.

Although, you know, I prefer when you wear your hair straight.

So much prettier.

So is Adrianna here? She must be celebrating.

She got the movie.



- That's incredible.



- Yeah.



- Oh, she must be so thrilled.



- We are.

Especially after she botched her last couple auditions.

It's about time she got her act together.

So wait, you don't have any idea where she's at? I mean, I was supposed to meet her today after school.

I called her, and she doesn't answer the phone.

I'm a little worried, so I No, she probably just got so excited about getting the part, she forgot.

Yeah, she's just She's off celebrating.

It's an homage to "The Texas Chainsaw m*ssacre.

" And the character of Captain Spaulding is a total satire.

But at the same time, he's terrifying.

Can you believe that Rob Zombie directed this? Dixon, wake up.

The call is coming from inside the house.



- How long have you been sleeping?

- I don't know, I was asleep.

What time is it?

- Eleven

-thirty.



- Eleven? Oh, my God, I gotta go.

I gotta go.

Glad you enjoyed the movies.

Look, if I don't wanna watch one movie, what makes you think I'm gonna sit through three? I gotta go.

I gotta go.

Grandma, you don't see me.

You just forgot to take your blue pill.

Did all the blood rush away from the part of your brain that allows you to tell time?

- I was just

- Sneaking in.

Were you with a girl? I want all the deets.

Don't worry, I won't tell your mom and dad.

Thank you so much, Grandma.

I mean, I won't tell them if you were with a girl.

They know you're not here.

Your mother's halfway to calling the police.

Dixon, I am so furious with you.



- Where have you been?

- Hey, your mother was freaking out.

Silver made me watch a bunch of wack

-ass horror movies and I fell asleep.

I'm sorry.

I wasn't doing anything fun, trust me.

Still unacceptable.

Can somebody shut that baby up, please?

- Trying.



- Oh, Harry, relax.

He fell asleep.

It's not like he spent the night in Tijuana with a couple of Laker Girls and a goat.

I really hope I get the wording right when I repeat that line to my future therapist.



- Annie, the baby.



- I can't find her.



- Some parent you are.



- Hey, this cannot happen again.



- It won't.



- Where was your cell phone?

- It died.



- Dixon.

So where was it? In the bathroom corner, under my jeans.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

Good night.

Hey, how's it going? You missing my sis? Feeling a little blue? Actually, I already started dating.

Okay, that was fast.

Yeah, well, think I'd stay on the market forever? Kind of.

But that's great.

You should bring one of the lucky ladies to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery tonight.

They're showing "Psycho.

" Yeah, great.

No, I'll do that.

I'll bring one of the lucky ladies to the cemetery.



- That I will do.

See you.



- Cool.



- Hey.



- Hey.

So did you get in trouble with the 'rents? Oh, yeah.

They're pissed.

So pissed that they insisted on going to Hollywood Forever tonight just to make sure I make curfew.

All right, well, look, last night I was trying to show you something important to me.

House of 1,000 Corpses is important to you? I was trying to share something that I like with you.

All right, all right.

I'm sorry.



- It wasn't intentional, all right?

- Yo, be careful.



- What? It's not real.



- I don't wanna fail.

Show me one person who's gotten lower than a B in Health class and I don't have to finish that sentence, because it has never happened.

So you guys are coming tonight, right? Not only is it the most kick

-ass movie to ever show at a cemetery, but they also have a Johnny Ramone tribute statue that I'm dying to see.



- Yeah, me too.



- Shut up.

You're making fun of me.

So you guys wanna ride together or just meet there? Yeah, I suppose we could both go.

You know, as parents, with the baby with us.

Yeah, yeah, it sounds like a plan.

Great, let's do it.

Hey, Wilson, go long.



- Hey, don't go long.



- It's a baby.



- I know it's a baby.

It's a football baby.



- She is not a foot So the concept of the totalitarian authority in Orwell's book really coined the now ever

-so

-popular term "Big Brother.

" What does "totalitarian" mean, Mr.

Matthews? You look wiped.



- Late night?

- Yeah, very.

Someone knows how to party.



- No, I was actually on baby duty.



- Baby duty? Kimberly, once again, am I boring you?

- I did see the movie.



- Not the same thing.

And the questions on your test will reflect the book, not the movie.

So if you'd stop wasting my time, I could maybe Excuse me, Mr.

Matthews, but if I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it? Nice reference, Spicoli, but didn't you graduate in 1982? Thank you, I'm here all week.

And you're gonna be here at lunch too because you just got a detention.

So Debbie and I have talked, and we have decided to go forward with this.



- Yes.



- But hold on a second, Trace.

I'm not into the whole PI thing.

I mean, we're not chasing somebody down here, so We're gonna have to write a letter to the adoption agency.

Harry, I already hired a PI.

What? What the hell did you do that for? Look, I've waited for 22 years.

Besides, I just kind of figured that you'd come around, so I went ahead and did it.

Come on.

Tracy, that's not what we talked about.

You come on, Harry.

I know you.

You wanna know how he's been doing.

It's been k*lling you.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Okay, yeah, I feel bad, but you should not have done this.

No, look, Harry, I get it.

This whole thing is a shock to you.

But I've been dealing with this every day since I was 19.

Yeah.

I'm sorry about that.

It's really nice to finally hear you say that.



- Hey.



- Oh, God.



- It's okay.



- Yeah, I'm good.

It's okay.

Tracy.

I'm gonna pretend that that never happened.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

See you.

I hear this is where the party's at.

That's right, so you can sit down and pour yourself a glass of "shut up and don't speak for the next hour.

" Does that come in diet? Because I'm kind of watching my figure.

And that ends the conversation portion of this detention.

I know you love my company, but this is getting a little old.

The fact that I made out with you in the fifth grade makes me wanna cut my tongue off.

Do you have a girlfriend?

- That's none of your business.



- Are you gay?

- You seem kind of gay.



- Yeah, about as gay as your dad.

My dad's dead.

Well, I think your dad's about as dead as I am gay.

Touché.

Yeah, good luck with that.

I see why you got kicked out of your last school.

You two sound like my mom and my old soccer coach, before the unpleasantness.

Mr.

Matthews, do you have a second? Yeah, I do.

I'm stepping out for 30 seconds.

George, I'll give you a dollar if you keep your trap shut and 2 if you learn how to read.



- I can read, Mr.

Matthews.



- I'm ignoring you.

So Detention, bad kids.

Any idea where a girl can score some party favors? I waited for you last night.

I'm happy you got the part, but why didn't you call me? You heard? Isn't it awesome? I was driving over and then got the call that I got the part, so I had to call my mom and go home and celebrate, and I like That's not true, Adrianna.

I was at your house.

You weren't there.

Why are you lying? Can you just take one minute and be happy for me? I got the movie.

Looks like our lucky necklace switch worked.

I think you can have it back now.

Wait.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Are you kidding me with this? Really? I know this lipstick container, Adrianna.

Are you kidding me? What do you care? It was yours.

Was mine.

Not anymore.

I experimented and I stopped, like you supposedly did.

Give it a break, Naomi.

No.

No, I won't give you a break, okay? I'm your friend.

And I may come off as annoying or whatever you think I am, but I care about you, and I'm worried about you.



- I'm fine.



- No, you're not fine.

And don't Don't walk away from me.

I can help you, okay? I can help you deal with this, but you gotta let me.

Everyone please step away from your lockers.



- We're conducting a search.



- Oh, my God.

You take the south hallway, I'll take the north.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you're right, all right? I'm using, but it's not like I am addicted.

I can stop whenever I want.

I'm just, like I'm just under so much pressure from my mom to get a stupid job.

I finally worked super hard to get something, and I'm gonna get busted.

I'm gonna get kicked out of school.



- I'm gonna lose the movie.



- No, no, no.



- I'm gonna lose everything.



- No, you're not.

Give it to me.



- What? No.



- Just give it to me.

Is this your locker, son? Stop whatever you're doing.



- Where'd you find it?

- The coke was in the lipstick.



- We'll copy you on the police report.



- What the hell, Harry? Isn't there a better way than busting kids?

- It's a little extreme.



- I don't want dr*gs on this campus.

And neither do I, but you get one chance to earn these kids' trust.

What, are you defending drug dealers? Not everyone is a dealer.

Naomi? Please.

These kids have rights.

They don't have the right to bring dr*gs.

This isn't China, it's Beverly Hills.

This isn't cool, Harry.

Not interested in being cool or in your opinion, Mr.

Matthews.

That was brutal.



- Bigtime.



- Those weren't her dr*gs, Ethan.

I know.



- Come on, Adrianna.



- Leave me alone.

Did you see her get busted? They took her down to book her.

Yeah, well, her dad will get her out of it.

And what's her dad gonna do to her? She's probably gonna get suspended, maybe even expelled.

She shouldn't be in this situation.

You need to step up, admit the dr*gs were yours.



- Says who?

- Says me.

I saw her take the dr*gs from you.

Well, for your information, Naomi's the one that initiated me into the C&C Club.



- C&C Club?

- Cocaine and champagne.

Yeah, but she grew out of it because she realized how stupid it was.

You can't just let her take the rap for you.

What do you care about Naomi? You're dry

-humping her boyfriend.

Ex

-boyfriend.

And she does care.

We both care.

And if you care about Naomi, you'll prove it.

Mom, what are you doing? I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago.

I'm acting like your mother instead of your sister or your friend.

Dad, she's tearing my room apart.

If I wasn't bailing you out, I'd be doing it right along with her.

Great, you guys.

There aren't any dr*gs here.

I don't do dr*gs.



- You just got caught red

-handed.



- Come on, Mom.

You know I don't do dr*gs.

What is this? No, I know that you dabbled with Adrianna over a year ago.

What I don't know is if your father leaving has made you start again.

That's nice.

Why don't we just lay off the digs and deal with the issue? This is the issue.

You don't think there's consequences for what you did? You guys, stop.

Daddy, you can fix this.

You can get me out of this.

Can you just make it go away? I don't think you get how serious this is.

I may not be able to.

Sit down.



- What?

- Sit down.

Are you doing this to get attention? No.

You think you're gonna get your mom and me together? No.

Well, I'm not just gonna be able to write a check, not for this.

This is gonna go on your permanent record.

You're gonna have to be drug

-tested, make court appearances.

Listen, if there's anything that you wanna tell us, you should now.

God.

I know.

Look at this.

I'm in a lot of trouble, Ade.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I thought your dad would be able to get you out of it.

Yeah, me too.

Apparently he can't.

Well, maybe he can figure something out.

He's gotta figure something out.



- Look, I wanna help, but I

- But what, Ade? I mean, no offense, but this should be you.

I don't think you're grasping how totally screwed I am right now.



- I could go to jail.



- You won't go to jail.

You don't know that.

Look, I need you to tell them that the dr*gs were yours.

It's gonna suck.

I'm sorry.



- But I'll lose my movie.



- No.

You'll get another one, okay? You'll get another one, when you're clean.

Babe, you gotta get help.

You really have to stop.

You need to go to rehab.

Hey, hey.

Hey, maybe it could be a good career move.

What do you know? Sadly, that's probably true.

Look, I had your back.

You've gotta have mine now, okay? We're going to my dad's office to meet with his attorney.

Come with me.

Maybe he can help you too.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

My mom is totally gonna freak out.

Give me an hour or so to explain everything?

- Of course.

You'll meet us there?

- Yeah.

I'll see you in a bit.

I'm really sorry.



- We're gonna sort this out, okay?

- Yeah.

Okay.



- Mom?

- There's my star.

This cake is just symbolic.

I don't want you eating it or anything.

Calories.



- Hey, Mom, can we?

- You did it.



- You saved us.



- Can we talk?

- We were about to lose the house.



- We were gonna lose the house? Well, I didn't wanna frighten you or put pressure on you or anything, but yeah.

I mean, I've been literally packing the last few days when you weren't home.

But we're good now.

And it's only up from here, bigger and brighter, because all of our problems are solved, all because of you, baby.

It's crazy, right? We literally had $300 left in the bank, and I was selling my purses on eBay.

Couldn't sing, wasn't handsome, but still became a rock

-star sex symbol.

Now, that is a cool guy.

This is Johnny Ramone? Thought it was Howard Stern.

All right, take my picture with him.

All right, come here.

Get him in there.

Yeah.

All right.

I mean, I guess they were pretty influential to a lot of bands that came out after them, you know? I heard a Green Day cover of one of their songs.

Well, look at you.

You're a Ramone fan? Well, you like them, and I like you, so, you know, I downloaded a couple songs.

Okay, that was really cute.

Can I just say, I have had the day from hell, and you have completely turned it around? Honestly, I was a little nervous.

I just I've heard a lot of horror stories about people meeting online.

I do it all the time.



- Yeah?

- You are so cute.

I'm so used to guys not looking like their pictures.



- Like, at all.



- Well, you are quite attractive yourself.

Honestly, prettier than your pictures.



- Really?

- Yeah.

You're right, I totally need new headshots.

Oh, you're an actress? In L.

A.

That's rare.

Really? God, I find there are actors everywhere.

Yeah, no, I was Never mind.



- Would I have seen you in anything?

- Well, I was a corpse in "CSI.

" But I look all dead, so that's not a very good example.

I was in a commercial.

OMG, this is the funniest story.

So it was for this medicine, and I didn't know what it was.

I thought it was like a vitamin.

But then they tell me what it is, and at first I didn't wanna do it, because I didn't want everyone to think that I had herpes.

But then I just did it because it was a national commercial, and I was all, "Whatever:" And did you have to do a lot of research to get into character for that or?

- What do you mean?

- Hey there.

You know, because Because

- Do you wanna grab a seat?

- Yeah.

It's good that we got here early because we can scout a good spot.

And there are Hitchcock fanatics.

I hear some guys actually dress up like their mothers.

You will never catch me in a dress.



- But you have such amazing legs.



- Thank you.



- What's up, half

-birthday girl?

- How are you?

- I see dead people.



- We didn't get you a gift.

We figured that our presence was gift enough.



- Yeah.



- It'll do.

Cool.

Adrianna's gonna admit the dr*gs were hers.

That's great.

You know, it was really cool of you to still care enough about Naomi to help her.

I'd be there for anybody who was important to me.

Ethan Ward, never fails to surprise.

Hey, I think I'm gonna get some drinks.

Anybody want anything?

- I'll go with you, man.



- Let's do it.



- Here you go.



- Thank you.

Okay, why does this suddenly feel like a double date? Chill.

It is not a double date, okay?

- We're gonna have fun.



- Okay.

Hey.

What's up, guys? Very cute couple.



- Funny.

Happy half

-birthday.



- Why, thank you.

Why does this baby only cry whenever I'm holding him? Dude, have you looked in the mirror? Your hair, it looks like a medieval w*apon.

Look, this relationship is not working.

All right, here, take the baby and I need a break.

Dude, you're the caretaker.



- Come on, you're my bitch.



- How very sad.

Okay, so just one thing.

You cannot make out with Dixon while Ethan and I are sitting there or I will k*ll you.

Okay, okay.

Well, then I'm gonna make out with him over there, so just shut your eyes, look away.

God.



- She kissed you?

- Yeah, but, look Sweetheart, I want you to know that this was all her.

I didn't Oh, my God, she's an even bigger nut job than I thought.

Sweetheart, you understand that this woman has issues.

Well, she's about to have some even bigger issues.



- See, I knew you'd be pissed.



- I just wish she was out of our lives.

Yeah.

So do I.



- But

- She's in our lives.

Yeah.

I miss Kansas.



- I miss my friends.



- I know.

I know.

Hey.

Well, at least you're not six feet under.

She kissed you? Okay, everybody, we'll be starting the movie as soon as it gets dark.

And so they make you put all these special talents at the bottom of your résumé.

Like it matters.

They take one look at your headshot and decide if they're gonna hire you.

Seriously, who cares if I do gymnastics, you know?

- You do gymnastics?

- I used to.

I can still do the splits.

Wow, that is good news for everybody.

Wow, that is good news.



- Hi, I'm Kim.



- Hi, I'm Jacqueline.



- Are you Ryan's girlfriend?

- No, she's not my girlfriend.



- Who's this?

- This is a student.

A very annoying student who was just leaving.



- So, what do you do, Jacqueline?

- I'm an actress.



- In L.

A.

, really? That's rare.



- OMG, he said the exact same thing.

Don't you guys know L.

A.

Is the capital of Hollywood? OMG, I didn't know that.

Good luck with your career.

I loved you in the herpes commercial.

Thank you.



- Charming student.

Popcorn?

- Yeah.

If she confesses, if the dr*gs were hers, it should help.

But you know, there's no guarantees.

What I think we can do is I understand, Mr.

Woods, but Adrianna is gonna be here.



- If you give her a few more minutes

- Please let him finish.

Okay, all that said, if your friend doesn't confess and this ends up on your record, it is gonna be harder for you to go to college, to get a job, and you may have to go to jail, which in your case would be juvenile detention.

Hey.

Happy half

-birthday.

Thank you.

Told you it was good.

But maybe one day I'll be in a movie that's projected on the side of a mausoleum.

One can only hope.

Dude, I'm telling you, that is so her.

Look at her.

Blond hair, the Angelina Jolie lips.



- Can I get you a coffee or?

- Yeah, yummy.

You're crazy.

That is so the herpes chick.



- It's not.



- Yes, it is.

So because it's a first offense and because of the small amount, I may be able to get you probation, but it's gonna be stuck on her record.

How could you be so stupid, Naomi? I know you're upset, Dad, but she's coming.

She said she'd be here.

She promised.

I'm a little disappointed in you, Matthews.

I mean, that's your type?

- Self

-absorbed and stupid?

- No, listen.



- That was incredibly inappropriate.



- Well, that's how I roll.

Listen, I don't wanna assume anything here, but I've been through this with students before, so if you're having any kind of feelings, I'm your teacher, you're my student.

And I'm a lot older than you.

I mean, I'm not "a lot" a lot Dude, chill.

I just didn't want you to catch her stupidity.

I hear it's contagious.

And I hope you didn't think I had a crush on you, because gross.



- Gross, exactly.



- Yeah.

Get over yourself.

Okay.



- Quiet down.



- Just put the thing in.

I've already tried.

Be quiet.

Honey, I'm gonna be right back, okay? Okay.

Hey, I need to talk to you.

Your department made quite the scene today.

We did what we had to do.

I've already made contact with one of the smaller dealers, but, you know, we're after the supplier.

Supplier's not gonna come anywhere near school after that bust today.

Wrong.

We did this now because they'll figure the bust already happened and now they're safe.

And, Harry, we've been over this.

Don't make contact in public with me again.

Let the precinct do their job, and let me do my job.

I'm wondering, like, how and when our baby was made, you know? Your dad never had that conversation with you? I mean, like, overseas or something? Then we'd be like Brangelina.

You can totally get that.

It's not like this is a date or anything.

Well, I know, but we're watching a movie and we have a baby to take care of.

Whoever it was can wait.

Okay.

This is Ethan.

Leave a message.

It's complicated.

And you're right, you know, about this not being a date.

Yeah, I know.

That's why I said it wasn't a date.

Yeah, right, I You know, only it kind of feels like a date.

Yeah, I know, right? But it's not.

No.

No, it's not.

Because if it was a date, I'd do this.

Oh, my God, did you guys see that?

- It scared the crap out of me.



- Yeah.

You should have seen your brother.

What a wuss.

Hey, but I wasn't the only one who jumped.

Did you jump too?

- I jumped, man, I jumped.



- Yes.

Yeah, you did.



- Excuse me, coming through.



- Get out of the way.

No pulse.

Get the epi.

I don't know what happened.

She was fine.

I cannot believe you did this to me.

You were the one person that I thought I could count on, that I could trust.

It was you, Adrianna, you were it.

And you can't even do so little as to pick up your freaking phone.

Amazing.

Way to go.

This friendship is over.

We're done.

I hope you got that.

You're dead to me.