05x14 - Mrs. Huxtable Goes to Kindergarten

[bunniefuu]

I Had A Hard Day.

Tell Me.

Today

I Tried A Case
Before Judge Gurvins

Who Notoriously Gives
Female Attorneys A Hard Time.

So Every Time
I Make An Objection

He Overrules It.

He Did What?

Overrules
Every Objection I Make.

When I Get To
My Final Argument

The Man Says, "Could You Please
Keep It Brief, Miss Huxtable?"

I'd Like To Jerk
A Knot In His Robe.

That's Bad

But It's Not As Bad As
What Happened To Me Today.

What Happened?

I Went To The Hospital.

I Was In The Elevator.

A Pregnant Woman
Got On The Elevator.

The Elevator Broke Down.

All The Lights Went Out.

Then The Woman
Went Into Labor.

I Had To Deliver The Baby
And It Wasn't Even My Patient.

Then I Went Upstairs
And Delivered Two More.

That's Still Not
As Bad As My Day.

When I Went To Leave

My Car Was Blocked In
By Another Car

So I Wait An Hour
For The Owner To Show Up.

It's Judge Gurvins.

Let Me Tell You.

I Come Out Of The Hospital,
Go To Get My Car

And The Three Babies
That I Delivered

Stole My Car.

So I Had To Run Five Miles.

Five Miles.

I Caught Up With Them
At The Light.

So They're Sitting In There
Smoking Cigarettes.

I Say,
"Give Me My Car."

They Said, "Is This Your Car?"

I Said, "Yeah."

They Said, "Get In."

I Got In, And One Of Them
Pulled Out A g*n.

I'm So Glad
We're Going To The Poconos.

Do Me A Favor.

Say Yes, Because I
Want To Leave Now.

We Don't Have To
Wait Till Tonight.

Yes.

Hi.

Take A Good Look At Us

Because We're Going
To The Poconos Now.

What About Dinner?

I Have Some Money
Here For You.

Buy Your Own Food.

There's Also Some Money

In Case You Have
An Emergency

Of Which I Want A Receipt When
You Get To The Emergency Room.

Thanks, Dad.

Burgers And Pizza All Weekend.

Go Ahead,
Ruin Yourself.

Let's Go On Out Where
Nature Is Surrounding Us.

Going To Stay In The Cabin
And Discover Nature.

Whoo!

Yo, Theo.

Hey, What's Up?

I Thought You Ate
Dinner At Home.

My Parents
Took A Trip.

So You're Stuck
Baby-Sitting Your Sisters.

No, Vanessa Went To Janet's.

Rudy's At My Grandparents'
With Kenny.

You Have The House
To Yourself.

I Have One Thing To Say:

Par-Tee!

A Party At Theo's.

Lovely Suggestion.

I Didn't Say Anything
To My Parents

About Having A Party.

You're Mired
In Semantics.

This Should Not Be Described
As A Party

But More Like A Colloquy--

A Gathering Of Friends
To Exchange Ideas And Merriment.

With Chicks.

How Big A Party Are We Talking?

Us Three And Our Dates.

All Right.

Collo-Kwee.

Hey, Denny.

How's It Going, Lou?

So Good
It's A Crime.

Did You Remember Tonight?

Tonight?

You And Sylvia

Are Going Bowling
With Me And Rita.

I'm Invited
To A Party.

Can I Come?

Theo.

Can Lou And Rita
Come To The Party Tonight?

Yeah, Sure.

Great.

Rita Hates Bowling Anyway.

What Time Are The Festivities?

Seven O'clock.

Seven O'clock.
It's A Lock.

Later, Boys.

I Hope
That Was Okay.

That's It, Denny.

No More People.

Absolutely.

Why Don't You Go Home
And Get Your Place Ready.

I'll Pick Up
Justine For You.

All Right, Great.

Fellas, : Tonight,
It's Colloquy Time.

( Chanting: )
Colloquy. Colloquy.

♪ My Folks Are Out Of Town ♪

♪ There's A Party Goin' Down ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm Theo With A "T" ♪

♪ But You Can Call Me The ♪

♪ And My Friends Tend To Call Me
Mr. Party ♪

♪ My Folks Are Gone
And Guess What? ♪

♪ There's A Party Goin' On ♪

What's Happening, Homey?

Dad!

You Were Supposed To Be Gone
An Hour Ago.

We're Just Waiting For Kenny.

Then We're Taking
Him And Rudy Over To Grandpa's.

Is He Coming Soon?

Any Minute.

I'm Getting The Bags.

( Doorbell )

Hey, Kenny, What's Up?

Don't Take Your Coat Off.

Dad, Kenny's Here.

Got The House To Yourself
This Weekend.

Yep.

Bachelor Pad.

What's That Supposed To Mean?

You're Alone In The House.

Do I Have To Spell It Out?

Hi, Kenny.
Hey, Rudy.

I Bet You Can't Wait
To Get Going.

That's Right.

Let's Move It.

Oh, I've Got
To Water The Plants.

I'll Take
Care Of It.

Don't Over-Water Them.

I Won't.

See You Later.

Send Me A Postcard.

Ah.

What's Wrong?

You're Going Out
In The Wilderness.

Mom Says She Likes It
When You Have Stubble.

You're Right.

She Calls Me "Mountain Man."

Have A Good Weekend, Dad.

Yeah, Yeah.

Drive Safely.

Yes, Sir.

( Doorbell )

Quick. My Parents Are
Pulling Out Of The Driveway.

This Is So Great.

Come On, Let's Take
This To The Kitchen.

Howard, Come Here.

Where's Justine?

I Thought You
Picked Her Up.

She Has A Bad Flu.

Why Didn't
She Call Me?

She Was Afraid
Your Parents Would Answer

And Figure Out
What's Going On Tonight.

I Don't Have A Date
To My Own Party.

Think Again, Desperado.

Do You Know That Lovely
Young Creature Named Mona

Who Goes To Columbia?

The Cello Player?

The Very One.

Her Boyfriend
Is Out Of Town

And Guess Who
Invited Her Here Tonight?

Howard, You Dog.

Woof, Woof.

( Doorbell )

Oh, It's Her!

Hi, Theo.

Mona... Glad You
Could Make It.

Me, Too.

I Didn't Have Anything
To Do Tonight.

All That's About To Change.

Welcome To My Humble Abode.

Wait.
Dan's Parking The Car.

Yo, What's Happening?

You're Dan?

Yeah, Denver Was Snowed In,
So They Cancelled My Flight.

Yo, Lenny, Dina!
In Here!

Lenny And Dina?

Friends Of Ours.

Can They Come In?

If It's Not Okay,
We'll Understand.

Why Not?

Lenny, Dina,
This Is Our Host.

Where's The Food?

In The Kitchen.

Chow Time.

Here I Am.

The Party Can Begin.

Hey, Lou.

This Is Rita,
My Main Squeeze.

She Loves It
When I Say That.

Where Is Everybody?

I Thought This
Was A Party.

Kitchen.

I Can Get Them Out Here.

( Dance Music )

Ow!

Hit It, Mama.

Yo, What's Up, Lou?

What's Happening?

Have A Good One.

Okay.

Is Everybody Ready
To Play "Gold Mine"?

Yeah.

It's My Favorite.

I Feel Myself Mining
Those Gold Nuggets Now.

We Need
To Pick Partners.

Rudy, Why Don't You
And I Be Partners.

Okay.

That Means We're Partners,
Kenny.

It's The Men
Against The Women.

We're Going
To Tear You Up.

The Women Are Going
To Stomp On Your Head.

Whoa, This Is Not
Men Against Women.

This Is A Friendly Game
Of People Versus People.

But The Men People Going
To Make You Look Bad.

Let's Roll
To See Who Goes First.

Yes, Eleven!

Let's See You
Beat That, Bud.

Twelve.

Boxcars, We Go First.

They're Just Lucky.

That Was Not Luck.

That Was Skill.

Collect Gold Nuggets.

Our Opponents Are In
For A Long, Losing Night.

Don't Bet On It, Bud.

( Music Blaring )

This Is Supposed To Be
A Small Party.

What Happened?

I Have No Idea.

I'm As Surprised
As You.

If My Parents
Find Out About This...

Theo:
Who's That?

Her Name Is Amy.

Goes To Hunter College.

She's Been
Eyeing You All Night.

She Has?

She Knows
You're The Host.

She Wants To Be
With The Action.

I Can't Disappoint A Guest,
Right?

I Guess Not.

Excuse Me, Hi.

I Hear You
Go To Hunter.

Yes, I Do.

You Got Ketchup
For The Steaks?

Nobody's Supposed
To Be Eating Steaks.

What's Going On Here?

Where Did You Get
These Steaks?

Out Of The Freezer.

Who Are You?

I'm Ken.

Hank Said To Come Over.

Who's Hank?

I Don't Know Hank.

Candy Knows Hank.

( Crashing Noise )

Excuse Me.

Watch Out.

Excuse Me.

What Happened Over Here?

The Table Broke.

I Was Just
Dancing On It.

You Were Dancing On It?

I Needed Room.

This Is Terrible.

Hey, Don't Worry About It, Man.

I'm Not Going To Sue You.

Look At This Table.

Look At It.

It's Destroyed.

Theo, What's Done Is Done.

You Have Two Options.

You Can Wallow In The Tragedy

Or Accept It And Get On
With What's Going On

Which Is
A Fabulous Party.

You Know, He's Right.

And There's A Lovely Guest
Who Wants To Share Your Party.

Oh, Yeah, I Forgot.

Excuse Me.

So Are You Enjoying
The Party?

Yeah.

( Music Blares Loudly )

I Know A Quiet Place
Where We Can Talk.

I'd Like That.

Okay, Come On.

Excuse Me.

Excuse Us.

Hey, Theo.

What's Up?

Boogie, Oogie, Woogie!

Yeah, Right.

How Did You Guys

Get In Here?

This Door Was Locked.

Someone Picked The Lock.

It's Domestic.

The Imported Is In The Bathtub.

You Put Beer In The Bathtub?

What Are You Doing In Here?

Get Out Of Here.

Take This Beer With You.

Get Out Of Here.

All Right, Everybody Out.

Get Out Of Here.

Get Out Of This Room.

Get Out Of This House.

This Is The Last Time
We Come To A Party Here.

This Guy Is Too Uptight.

Look, I'm Really Sorry
About All These Distractions.

( Knocking )

Get Out Of Here.

Now.

Move It.

I'm Really Sorry
About All Of This.

I Don't Understand
Some People.

You Know

You've Got
Beautiful Eyes.

Theo! Code Nine, Basement.

Somebody's Stuck
In The Washing Machine.

It's Serious, Man.

I'll Be Right Back.

Okay.

That's It.

Everybody's Out Of The House.

Wait A Minute.

Where's Amy?

She Left.

I Didn't Get To Be With Her.

She Knows Where You Live.

Come On, Let's Start
Cleaning This Mess Up.

I Think We Should Start
In The Living Room.

That's What Needs The Most Work.

I'm Dead.

Ah, Nature.

Yes, Nature Is
A Beautiful Thing.

And I'm Going Back

And Get Some More
Of That Nature.

What Do You Know, Poconos?

I Just k*lled The Table.

Ah, You Guys Are Home Early.

I Want To Talk To You
About This Table.

Let's Do Talk
About This Table.

Last Night We Had A Party.

It Got A Little Out Of Hand.

It Wasn't All
Theo's Fault.

It Was Originally Intended
For Six People

But Due To Circumstances
Beyond Our Control

The Party Swelled
To Approximately .

Some Things Got Damaged.

We Cleaned The House
As Best We Could

And Fixed What We Could Fix.

A Little Better Than You
Fixed This Table, I Hope.

Put It On The List,
Howard.

What Is The List?

A List Of Things
We Couldn't Repair.

You Guys Can Go.

This Is Disgraceful.

Mom, I Was Really Honest
About What Happened.

Honest About What, Son?

I Mean, Did You Have A Choice?

I Could Have Not Been Honest.

I Could Have Gone Away.

Gone Away?

I Could Have Got Some Clothes
And Gone Away.

I Seriously Considered That.

Yeah, That's It.

That's Exactly It.

Away.

Yeah, Come On.

Let's Go.

Where Are We Going?

Away.

Yeah, But...

I'm Driving You, Son.

That's Where
You're Going-- Away.

You Don't Need
Anything Else.

This Is All You Need.

Here We Go.

Hi, Theo.

Amy.

I Can't Talk Now.

I'm Going Away.

They've Been Gone
A Long Time.

Yeah.

Where Did He Take Him?

Jail.

Hi, Dad.

Hey.

Where's Theo?

Away.

And?

And What?

And Where Is He?

He's Away.

He's Going To Be Away
Every Morning.

I Took Him Over

To Mrs. Jackson's
Holy Mission For The Homeless.

And I Explained To Her
That I Had A Wonderful Son

Who Loved To Throw Parties
And Serve The People.

And I Said, "Don't You Have
Something For Him To Do?"

And She Said, "Yes, Of Course."

And So From : To :

Our Son Is
Chopping Vegetables

For The Homeless

And Serving Them.

I Know He Has A Problem
Getting Up At That Hour

But I Asked Her Son, Charlie

Who Is ' ", Pounds

To Come By My House

Go Up To The Bedroom

Pick The Boy Up By The Face

And Take Him Down
And Put Him Into The Car.

That's Where You Took Him.

That Was The Second Place.

The First Place I Took Him
Was To The Army Recruiter.

I Was Dead Serious
About It, Clair.

He Sat In The Car.

"Dad, Where Are You Taking Me?"

I Said, "I'm Putting Your
You-Know-What In The Army."

There Was A Line.

I Didn't Know That Many Parents

Were Taking Their Children Down

To Put Them In The Service.

But There Were Parents
With Kids.

Boys And Girls, Mind You.

Some Of Them Had The Kid
By The Neck.

One Lady Had A Rope
Around The Boy's Neck.

Another Father Had His Hand
In His Pocket Like This

He Said, "You Move
And This Is The Last..."

So We're Standing There

And After About Seven People
Went In And Came Out

The Army Recruiter Came Outside
With A Bullhorn

And The Man Said, "Listen To Me.

"All You Parents Who Have
Brought Your Little Kids Here

"To Be Put Into The Service

"Because Your Kid Ran Up Money
Over The Weekend

"On The Credit Card

"Or Because Your Kid
Made Somebody Pregnant

"Or Because Your Kid
Gave A Party

"And Wrecked The House--

Get Out Of Line."

The United States Of America

Is A Wonderful Place

But They Don't Have Anything

Where You Can
Get Rid Of Your Kid.

No, Don't Do That.

That's How We Got
The Five We Have.