05x11 - Is There a Hamster in the House?

[bunniefuu]

Chocolate Cake Extraordinaire...
Only To Be Had With

A Glass Of Iced,
Almost Frozen Milk.

You Can't Have
This Milk.

Why?

Sweetheart...

You Are Having Skim Milk.

Skim Milk?!

That's Right.

Bring Me A Glass Of Water.

You Are Having Skim Milk
In A Fine Glass.

Thank You So Much.

Look At That.

I Want To See The Cow
That Gave That Out.

How Come Dad Can Have Cake?

Your Mother And I
Have An Agreement.

I Told Your Father If He Ran
Four Miles This Morning

He Could Have Cake.

Yes,
Miss Worrying-About-It-Face.

And Today I Ran . Miles

Of Which The Last Point Four

I Ran Uphill,
Sprinting Backwards On My Hands.

If Any Of You Have Cake
That You Cannot Finish

Pass It This Way.

Don't Even Try It.

Forget It.

This Last Piece
Might Be Mine.

If Anyone Is A Half Hour Late
For Dinner

Their Food Is Up For Grabs.

In Seconds,
Vanessa's Cake Is Mine.

You'll Have To Fight Me.

Don't Worry, Rudy, I Will.

Seconds Left.

Two Days In A Row
Vanessa's Been Late.

Seconds, , ...

Did She Call
And Leave A Message?

No, Mom.
, ...

Hey, Look Out
The Window!

There's A Possum

Doing A Two-Step
With A Chipmunk.

Everybody.

Won't Work, Dad.

You've Got To Look.

We're Not
Falling For That.

, , , ...

Wait A Minute.

We Don't Have
To Do This.

Mom Left A Second Chocolate Cake
In The Refrigerator.

You All Can Have That.

Zero!

Time's Up!

No Fair.
You Cheat.

I'm Sorry I'm Late.

I Totally Lost
Track Of The Time.

Easy Come, Easy Go.

Where Have You Been?

With The Decorating Committee
For The Winter Dance.

We Ran Late.

You Should Have Called.

I'll Get Your Dinner
Before It Gets Colder.

Can I Skip Dinner?

I'm Not Hungry.

You're Not?

Leslie And Joe

Are On
The Refreshment Committee.

They Brought Samples,
So We All Got Full.

Yes!

It's Mine!

Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine!

Would You Mind If
I Started My Homework?

I Told Kara
I'd Help Her With Algebra.

You Just Walked In

And You're Going
To Rush Out Again?

Kara Needs Me.

She's In Trouble
With Algebra.

All Right.

Your Curfew
Is : .

I'll Be Here.

Bye.

Mmm... Cake Extraordinaire.

I Don't Have To Run
Four Miles To Get It.

Vanessa,
I Just Looked

On My Dresser.

One Of My Earrings
Is Missing.

Did You Take It?

It Looks Good.

Let Me Borrow It.

No, It Doesn't.

It Looks Ridiculous.

That's A Man's Earring.

Let Me Borrow It.

I'll Let You Borrow One Of Mine.

You're Going To Kara's To Study

And You're Worried About
What You Look Like?

I Study Better When I Look Good.

Come On, Vanessa.

Would This Have
Anything To Do With Jeremy?

Jeremy? No.

You're A Lousy Liar.

This Is All
Beginning To Make Sense--

Your Being Late,
All Your Excuses.

You're Hanging Out
With This Guy

And Don't Want Mom And Dad
To Find Out.

They've Met Jeremy
And They Like Him.

Do They Know
You're Sneaking Out?

I'll Be Back By : .

There's No Reason
For Them To Know

Unless Someone Opens
His Big Mouth.

I'm In College.

I'm Out Of This Petty
Sibling Stuff.

You're On Your Own.

But Watch Yourself.

It's Not Easy
To Put Something Over

On Mom And Dad.

Remember That When You Leave
For Kara's House.

Let Me Know What Jeremy Thinks
Of My Earring.

Rudy!

Rudy!

What?

I Need A Favor.

You're Not
Going To Kara's.

You'll Be With Jeremy.

I Have To Cover For You Again.

Right.

What Do I Say?

If I'm Not Back By :

Say I Called
And Said I'd Be Late.

Problem.

What?

I Go To Bed At : .

Okay.

Wait Up Until : .

Then Go To Mom And Dad And Say,
"I Forgot To Tell You.

Vanessa Called And Said She'd
Be Late And She Loves You."

I Don't Like This.

What?

All This Lying.

This Is Very
Important To Me.

I'm Crazy About Jeremy,
And He's Crazy About Me.

Do You Know What
He Said Today?

He Said,
"Vanessa, I Need You."

So?

We're At A Very Important Stage
In Our Relationship Right Now.

He's Reaching
Out To Me.

If I Don't Show Up Tonight,
I Might Lose Him.

Okay, I'll Do It.

Thank You.

When I Get Older,
I'm Not Lying For Any Man.

Any Man That Wants To Be With Me
Has To Do The Lying.

I'm Worth It.

Mom, Dad,
I Have To Talk To You.

I Know Why
Vanessa's Late.

She's Not Late, Honey.

It's Only Five Of : .

I'll Be Back In Five Minutes
To Tell You Why She's Late.

Rudy, Come Here.

What?

You Know That Vanessa
Will Be Late?

Yes.

How Do You Know?

Before I Went To Bed

Vanessa Called To Say
She'd Be Late

And She Loved You.

I Didn't Hear
The Phone Ring.

You Didn't?

No, And I've Been Here
All Night.

Well... The Phone Didn't Ring.

Vanessa Called,
But The Phone Didn't Ring?

Yes.

I Was Going To Call Kenny,
And When I Picked Up The Phone

Vanessa Was On The Line.

And Then I
Called Kenny.

Yeah.

That's Right.

After You Talked To Vanessa,
You Called Kenny?

Yes.

If I Called Kenny,
He'd Say You Called.

Mom, Please,
Don't Call Kenny.

Why?

Because Kenny Has A Bad Memory.

He Won't Remember
That I Called Him.

And You Have
A Bad Memory.

You Don't Remember That

If There's One Thing
We Will Not Abide By

It's Being Lied To
By Our Children.

Any Child Who Stands Up

And Knowingly Tells
A Bold-Faced Lie

Will Be Punished.

They Will?

Yes, Ma'am, They Will.

They'll Be Grounded
For Two Weeks.

Vanessa's With Jeremy.

He Said He Needed Her.

She Didn't Want To Lose Him.

I'm Going To Bed.

Last Week

I Put Six Chocolate Chip Cookies
In My Lunch Box

When You Said I Could
Only Have Three.

Bye.

All Right,
So It's Jeremy, Huh?

The Girl Is
Years Old.

She Better Walk
Through That Door

In The Next Two Minutes.

She Might Not
Live To See .

We Should Take This Sofa
And Turn It Around

So The First Thing She Sees
When She Comes In Is Us.

Let's Do It Now.

This Is Really
Beautiful.

I'm Glad We
Drove Up Here.

This Is The Best
Place In The City

To See The View
Of New Jersey.

( Engine Stops )

You Turned Off The Car.

I Wanted To Enjoy
The View For Awhile

And Not Waste Gas.

Smart.

Yeah.

What's The Matter?

We Should Stop.

Aren't You
Enjoying It?

Yeah.

Too Much.

That's Why I Stopped.

You Don't Have
To Stop.

Jeremy, I Can't.

What's The Matter Now?

What Would
My Parents Say

If They Knew
We Were Here?

We're Having A Good Time.

Why Bring
Your Parents Up?

I'm Not Thinking
About My Parents.

I Should Go Home.

I Knew This Was
Going To Happen

When I Started
Dating A Sophomore.

Jeremy, I'm Sorry.

I Really Am.

This Is Just Happening
Too Fast For Me.

I'll Be Happy
To Take You Home.

I Just Want You
To Know One Thing.

I Like You A Lot.

Sometimes I Feel Like
I Might Even Love You.

You Do?

That's How I've
Been Feeling Lately.

But You Have To Decide.

Are You Going
To Live Your Life

The Way You Want To

Or The Way Your Parents
Want You To?

All Right, Cliff,
That's Minutes Late.

This Child Has Crossed The Line

From Being Late
Into Reckless Defiance.

In Five Minutes,
I'll Get In My Car

And Do The Father Patrol.

When She Walks Through
This Door, She's Mine.

I Can't Believe It.

She Stood In Our Faces
And Lied To Us.

She Spends This Whole Evening

Doing Who-Knows-What
With This Jeremy.

She Better Not Be Doing
Who-Knows-What

Or She'll Have To Deal
With You-Know-Who.

Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.

Did Rudy Tell You I'd Be Late?

Yes, She Did.

Good.

Why Did You Move The Couch?

We Heard
A Snowstorm Was Coming

And We Decided
To Watch It.

Oh... That's Nice.

Who Dropped You Off?

Kara's Father.

We Had A Lot Fun
On The Way Over.

He Turned Up The Music
And Sang With Us.

So You've Been
At Kara's House All Night?

Sure. I Said I Was Going
To Do Algebra With Her.

Well, Good Night.

Uh, Hon?

Pass Me
The Telephone

So I Can Call
Kara's Father

And Thank Him For
Dropping You Off.

You Can't.

Pardon Me?

On The Way Over Here

The Car Was Making Weird Noises

So He Said He'd Take It
Right To A Garage.

Vanessa,
You Are A Liar.

Your Whole Story
Is Falling Apart

Right Before Your Face.

I'm Stopping You Now
Because You're My Child.

And Before You
Drift Deeper

Into The Abyss
Of Untruth

Rudy Has Informed Us
That You Were With Jeremy

And You Are Grounded
For At Least A Month.

A Month?

At Least A Month.

Then I Won't Be Able
To See Jeremy.

You'll See Jeremy.

I'll Call Him Tomorrow

Because I Want
To See The Boy.

Oh, Dad, Please, You Can't.

I Want The Boy.

You're Going To Embarrass Me.

I Won't Embarrass You.

I Just Want To Talk.

Why Are You Doing This?

I Can Make My Own Choices.

It's My Life.

If I Were You

I'd Take
Myself Upstairs

While I Still
Have A Life.

Come On, Dad, Please!

You Can't Call Jeremy.

I've Got
To Do It, Dear

Because It's My Life.

Vanessa:
Mom, This Is
So Unfair!

Clair:
Don't Tell Me
What's Unfair.

Why Are You
Humiliating Me
Like This?

Don't You Care
About My Feelings?

You Lied To Us.

Your Feelings
Don't Count.

I'm Moving Out.

I'll Help You Pack.

All These Years

Vanessa Has Been The Mature One.

I Should Have Known
It Was Too Good To Be True.

I Want The Boy.

Bring Me The Boy.

I Told Him : .
That Gives Him Ten Minutes.

( Doorbell )

The Boy.

Hi, Dr. Huxtable.

Just Come In And Sit Down.

Hi, Mrs. Huxtable.

I Know I'm Early

But I Knew You Really
Wanted To See Me.

Vanessa:
Jeremy, I'm So Sorry!

Shut Up!

Would You Mind
If I Took Off My Jacket?

It's Getting
Kind Of Hot In Here.

That's Fine.

Can I Answer Her?

Yes.

It's All Right, Vanessa.

I Miss You!

Let Me Tell You
Something Right Now.

I'm Coming Up, And It's
Not Because I Love You.

Jeremy, We Have
Known You

And We've Met Your Parents.

Up Until Now, We Felt Pretty
Good About You Seeing Vanessa.

I Know I Brought
Vanessa Home A Little Late.

This Isn't About Being Late.

It's About Telling The Truth--

Which Is Something
Vanessa Used To Do.

She Lied To Us

About Why She Was
Late For Dinner.

She Lied About
Going To Kara's

When She Was
Really With You.

We Wanted To See Each Other.

She Knew You Wouldn't Approve.

I Told Her To Do Anything
To Get Out Of The House.

I Respect Your Honesty.

Thank You.

I Detest What You're
Being Honest About.

Jeremy,
Are You Okay?!

I've Had It.

I'm Going Upstairs.

Listen, Young Lady

When Somebody Tells You
To Shut Your Mouth

You Better Listen Up.

But, Mom, I'm
Worried About Jeremy.

Who Cares
About Jeremy?

Nobody's Choking
That Boy...

Yet.

See What You've Caused?

I Think We Can Continue
In Our Discussion Now.

Let Me Ask You Something.

Has Vanessa Ever
Encouraged You

To Lie
To Your Parents?

I Don't Have To Lie.

They're Not As Strict As You.

I Can Stay Out Until : .

Vanessa Must Be Home By : .

So If You Want To See Vanessa

You'll Follow Our Rules.

I Understand That.

Understand That In A Month

Because That's The Next Time
You'll See Vanessa.

She Told Me That.

I'll Wait.

I Guarantee That None
Of This Will Happen Again.

Very Happy To Hear That.

If You'll Excuse Me

I'm Going To Have
A Chat With Miss Vanessa.

Good-Bye. I Guess
I'll Be Going.

No, I Don't Think You Will.

You And I
Are Going To Have

A Little Chitchat
In The Kitchen.

In The Kitchen?

Uh-Huh.

Sit Down.

Not There,
That's My Seat.

Sit Down There.

You Want To Split
An Apple With Me?

Sure, Dr. Huxtable.

Good.

I Brought You In Here

Because There's Some Things
I Want To Talk To You About

That I Don't Want To Get
Mrs. Huxtable Involved In.

What's That?

You Were In A Parked Car
With My Daughter.

Yes, Sir.

Okay, Now...

Let's Say That
This Apple Is You.

And This Apple
Is My Daughter.

Now, How Close Were
The Two Of You In The Car?

What Do You Mean?

This Is You, Right?

Right.

This Is Vanessa.

Were You That Close
In The Car?

Yes.

Yes.

Were You Closer?

Uh-Huh.

Were You..?

No Way, Sir!

Uh-Uh, No.

No, No Way.

No, Sir.

How Close Were You?

Well, It Was More
Like This...

Okay, Now...

You Said That Mrs. Huxtable
And I Are Strict.

Yeah, You Are.

Did You Know That Vanessa

Has To Be In Here At : P.M.?

But That At : In The Morning

She's Free To Go Out Anytime.

Vanessa Didn't Tell Me
Anything About This.

Did You Ask?

I Wouldn't Have Guessed It.

I Want You Here At : .

I'll Have Her
In Front Of The House

And I'm Going To Rent
A Car For You.

Just As Long As You
Don't Do Like This.

So That's It,
And You'll Be Here.

I Can't Do That.

Why Can't You?

My Parents Would
Catch Me And They Would...

k*ll Me.

Say That Again.

My Parents Would k*ll Me.

So Why Are You Asking
My Daughter To Sneak Out?

I Understand What You're Saying.

I'm Sorry.

You See This?

Uh-Huh.

Ever Since The First Day

It's Been Getting
Man In Trouble.